Chapter Three:

Ianto smiled, feeling sated and a wave of happy exhaustion—he knows for sure that while a lot has changed, sex—or making love—with Jack had remained as wonderful, innovative and avant-garde, as it always had been. He was currently lying beside the love of his life, who was sleeping soundly with an arm wrapped protectively around Ianto's waist. Ianto smiled. Maybe this wasn't so bad, sure, Ianto felt an ache that he couldn't recall the first five years of his daughter's life, or all those beautiful moments he'd spent with the twins. But at the same time, he knew they'd have so many more.

Smiling he closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off, a part of him desperately hoping he would return to the Torchwood he'd once known. Suddenly a cry split the air. Ianto, more awake than Jack, snapped up. He threw back the covers just as Jack was rousing, grabbed a pair of pants and put them on. He hurried into the twins' bedroom, where Johnny was lying in his crib screaming.

"What's wrong buddy?" Ianto whispered as he reached into the crib and lifted the toddler into his arms. "Daddy's got you." He paused as he felt the heat radiating from their youngest. "Jack?" Ianto asked as he hurried out of the bedroom with the toddler.

Jack, now sitting bed, looking a little less than excited being forced to put pants on, glanced at Ianto with bleary eyes. "What's wrong?" he questioned as he reached out to accept their little bundle.

"I think he's running a fever." Ianto offered handing their son to Jack.

"Well he had the flu two weeks ago, maybe he's relapsing. We'll take him to work tomorrow and have Martha or Owen give him a check up. Want to sleep with us tonight?" He asked his whimpering son. The toddler, still curled in his father's arms, nodded and tucked himself further into his papa's arms.

Ianto climbed back into the bed and scooted closer to his partner, the little toddler nestled between the two of them. Ianto glanced at Jack over their sleeping toddler's head and met the man's blue eyes. There was that look again. Ianto could only hope Jack saw the same thing when he gazed into Ianto's eyes.

o0o

Jack and Ianto dropped Gareth and Rose off the next morning. Ianto carried Johnny into the hub, the toddler fast asleep against his shoulder. Owen was sitting at his usual desk when they entered, it appeared as though only Sally and Gwen had arrived already. Owen had moved into Jack's old living space in the Hub, willingly, though he still had his flat. He glanced up at the sight of Jack, Johnny and Ianto.

"Oi! I didn't realize it was bring your kid to work day."

"He's sick, we were wondering if you'd look him over," Jack explained quietly.

Owen rolled his eyes. "You parents always worried about the kids. Let me have him." Owen stood up and moved towards Ianto. "Come 'ere little one." He lifted the boy into his arms, holding him close. He hadn't expected to feel the heat coming off the child in waves. "I'll run some tests. Want to come play with Uncle Owen?" He asked as he made his way down to the medical/autopsy bay.

Ianto sighed as he sat down at his desk, he looked at all the pictures—there were four different ones. There was a similar picture to the one on Jack's desk, the three kids and the two of them. Though in slightly different positions, looking equally as happy, another picture sat next to that one. This picture was just of the three children and obviously it had been taken when the twins were less than two, both dressed in identical pair of shirts, shoes and pants. Rose was in a beautiful red dress sitting in between the two of them. All three looked so innocent. The next picture was of himself and Jack, this one caught Ianto's eye. Jack was standing tall in a fine suit, looking positively thrilled, next to him was Ianto also dressed in a fine suit. Both men were grinning and on their hands were wedding bands. Ianto realized this was from the civil union. Ianto felt a warm smile cross his lips as he held the picture in his hand for a moment. They looked so happy. A part of him was dying to live that moment—to fully remember it.

The fourth picture was Ianto standing in what appeared to be a hospital, in either arm he held two tiny little bundles—the twins. Ianto's face was beaming as he held the two children close. As Ianto reached out to gently stroke this picture he had a flash…

"Congratulations Daddy, you've got twins!" Martha said as she handed the two little squalling infants to their father.

Ianto stared in utter fascination at the sight of the two beautiful little babies now lying in his arms. They were tiny, smaller than Rose had been when she was born. "Jack?"

Martha looked down and shook her head. "We couldn't control the bleeding. Owen's cleaning him up now. We'll let you know when he wakes up."

Ianto nodded. "They're healthy?"

"Yes, and beautiful."

He felt pride as he gazed down at them, the one in his right arm was still crying, but the one in his left had settled down and was fast asleep. "Ianto!" Gwen called. Turning to face her Ianto found himself face to face with Gwen and a camera. He pasted on a quick smile just as she took the picture. "That's one to remember."

He looked down at the babies again. "I'm a daddy again." He whispered as he pressed a kiss to each forehead.

"Ianto?" a soft touch on his shoulder, startled him from his thoughts, were they memories? Or just figments of his imagination? Turning around Ianto offered a weak smile to Jack. "Are you all right?" Jack questioned. "You seemed a little lost there."

"Sorry—just lost."

"You know—I realize you may not be the same guy that I married—well you are…but you're not. Ianto I can't explain what you said happened, but you're still here and I love you, those kids love you—"

"I love you too, and I have no intention of going anywhere. It would just be nice to remember all of these things. I feel so lost right now Jack."

"Then talk to me, tell me, and I'll try to fill you in."

"Don't you get it Jack! I don't want you to fill it in for me! I want to remember it, live it! I want to remember what it felt like when you asked me to marry you. I want to remember what it felt like to slip that ring on your finger, to press my hand against your swollen and pregnant belly, to hold my daughter for the very first time, to sing and dance with her, I want to remember what it was like to hold you hand in fear when you almost lost our babies, what it felt like when you died as I held the twins. I want to remember everything Jack; I don't want you to tell me. I want to understand." Ianto's eyes were strangely moist as he stared at Jack.

The older man sighed sadly as he stepped forward, pulling his partner into a tight hug. "We'll figure this out Ianto. I promise."

"Jack?" Owen came up the stairs, looking a little less than grim.

"What's wrong with him?" Ianto asked immediately.

Owen sighed. "He has an ear infection. For a child his age, ear infections are fairly normal, however, as he just recently had the flu I'm a little concerned about his immune system working at a normal and functional level. I'd like to runs some tests on him. They're just standard tests; see why he doesn't bounce back quite as quickly as his brother and sister."

Jack nodded. "Let us know what you find out." They waited until Owen disappeared back to their son, then Jack looked back at his husband. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry I didn't mean to…Jack I'm scared. Why don't I remember any of this? If I'm really your partner then why can't I remember a moment of the past ten years?"

"Hey," Jack whispered as he cupped Ianto's face with both of his hands. "Why don't we let Martha run some tests on you, we'll figure this out. I promise." He turned to move away when Ianto suddenly pulled Jack back towards him.

"I love you."

Jack smirked as he pressed a kiss to Ianto's lips. "I love you too."

o0o

Jack sat quietly at his desk, thinking about what was going on. Ianto was scared, Jack knew that much. But why couldn't he remember any of the past ten years. It didn't make sense; Jack couldn't recall Ianto recently suffering a blow to the head. He couldn't recall any type of serious injury. If anything, life at Torchwood of late, had been quiet. Sighing he pressed his finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose, rubbing slightly in hopes to alleviate the beginning ache there.

Jack glanced up from his desk when he noticed the little figure toddling over to him. Jack chuckled softly as he moved away from his desk and allowed his three year old to crawl up into his lap. Johnny was a do-it-yourself type boy; he'd grab his papa's pants and pull himself up, periodically getting a little help from his parents. Once he was in Jack's lap he situated himself until he was leaning back against Jack's chest.

"Comfortable?" chuckled Jack as he looked down at his son.

"Yeah." whispered the toddler.

Jack shook his head and returned to his work, allowing his son to snooze on his lap. Ianto stepped into the office, but stopped short when he saw the picture before him. Jack had his feet propped up on the desk; a folder was in his one hand, held in front of his face slightly to read. In his lap was their curled up toddler sleeping soundly, clutching one of his papa's braces. Jack's other hand was gently stroke his son's hair in a soothing gesture. Ianto smiled softly as he leaned against the door. Was this what he had to look forward too, he'd noticed things about Jack. He wasn't quite as flirtatious with everyone. As if he'd been domesticated, or perhaps it was more that everyone else was as happy as he was. He seemed so happy, so calm. Was this what fatherhood would do to him, settle him down a little.

Then Ianto felt an unfamiliar ache in his gut. This wasn't his Jack—well technically it was, he had the same eyes, same face, same body—same sexy style in bed. But he wasn't the same, that's what Ianto loved the most about Jack, his ability to flirt with people, to use his irresistible charms. And that's when it hit Ianto, Jack hadn't been looking at Gwen with longing that night, he'd been looking at her with remorse. He'd lost something, something he'd never truly had. Jack ached for something that no one could give him. Jack was so terrified of being completely in love that he couldn't willingly give himself up to anyone. This was a different Jack, because this Jack wasn't afraid of love.

His Jack made all those comments, hit on everyone because he was afraid if he got serious about it for just a minute—he'd lose someone or something. Ianto suddenly realized that Jack only did domestic when he knew it was safe: safe from pain and hurt. "Oh, Jack." Ianto murmured.

Jack glanced away from his file and smiled at Ianto. "Everything okay?"

Ianto was standing in front of his lover in less than two strides. "I love you, and I don't know what changed your mind, or why you think you'll never lose me. But I promise you I'm going to make every moment of these ten years worth it. I love you Jack." Leaning down Ianto pressed his lips to Jack's.

Jack, mildly surprised by the unusual and open display reciprocated the kiss with fervor. When Ianto pulled away, just enough so they could look at each other and catch their breath, Jack gave him one of his winning smiles. "I love you too, and you have made it worth it. You've made every minute worth it."