Chapter Four:
"Give me the camera!" growled Owen playfully as he reached for the video camera.
Gwen giggled as she held it away from her friend. "They're going to have the perfect wedding Owen, I'm not giving you the camera so you can go an' keep it on some hot to trot girl the entire time."
"I would never do that!"
"Oi if you two don't quit messin' around we're gonna miss the ceremony!" Rhys said as he came into the camera shot. "Come on then the boys will be here any minute an' we've got to finish."
Gwen giggled softly as moved the camera wide to capture a picture of the beautiful hotel. "This is just perfect for them it's absolutely stunning!" Gwen whispered.
Indeed it was, the area was decked with all types of decorations. The camera landed on a man who was standing near the altar. "Oi no camera!" he playfully remarked as he waved to the camera.
"Tell me Doctor—is there anything you can't do?" a red head questioned from where she stood fixing the flowers that lined the area. Martha, opposite of the red head, was giggling at the woman's words.
"Oi! I'd wed you if you asked! I'm legally allowed to perform this ceremony if that's what you're asking Donna, now hush. The family and friends are arriving."
Mostly the family and friends consisted of Ianto's family and the few friends Jack had managed to pull together. They were all seated in the middle of the hotel room in white chairs. "Here they come!" cried two year old Bryn as he hurried around the corner.
Gwen shook her head, handing the camera off to Tosh as she swept her son up into her arms. "What have we told you about running, an' yelling? Come on then runt." She handed her son over to Rhys and took her seat next to Owen.
Tosh grinned as both Donna and Martha took a seat. All eyes were at the back of the room, where the doors had just opened and the two men stepped inside, hand in hand as they walked up the isle. Camera still trained on them, she followed them all the way up until they stood just in front of the Doctor hand in hand.
"Welcome everyone, as you know by now we're gathering here today to bind these two in a civil partnership. When first asked by Captain Jack to do the ceremony I was surprised, and excited. Because Jack isn't the type of man I ever thought would settle down. But then he always was full of surprises. It wasn't until I met the man he wanted to be with that I understood. If anyone has any reason why these two should not remain together, speak now." The Doctor paused then continued. "Jack Michael Harkness, do you wish to spend your time with Ianto, to be his best friend, to love him forever, him and only him. Do you agree to work things out between the two of you, to be with him and care for him?"
Jack smiled as he squeezed his lover's hand. "I do."
"Ianto Andrew Jones, do you wish to spend your time with Jack, to be his best friend, to love him forever, him and only him? Do you agree to work things out between the two of you and to be with him and care for him?"
Ianto felt his heart pounding as he nodded. "I do."
"Jack and Ianto, you two have promised to spend the rest of the time you have together. You are devoting yourselves to one another; there is nothing in this universe that is greater or more beautiful than love. May this binding contract remind you every day that you two have chosen to be together. I pronounce you partners—or husband and husband if you prefer."
Jack chuckled as he leaned forward and pull Ianto in for a kiss. Cheers broke out through the hall.
The party was in full swing less than twenty minutes later, Tosh had the camera still as she mingled through the part. "Ianto!" she called out.
The man grinned as he turned around, having abandoned his lover to chat with his family for a few minutes. "Hi Tosh."
"How do you feel? Any different?"
Ianto shrugged. "It's nice to know that he loves me enough to do this, but I don't expect that much to change. He's still Jack."
"You look happy Ianto."
He nodded. "I am, thanks for coming Tosh. Oh Tosh! I'd like you to meet my cousin, this is Henry, Hen this is Tosh."
"Hi—"
Ianto felt a warm smile cross his features as he rewound the footage and watched it again. It was that look in Jack's eyes again, the look of 'I can't survive without you'. Ianto knew it well, because the entire time he watched the video he could see the same look reflected in his own eyes.
"Are you still happy?" came a soft whisper.
Ianto turned around to see Jack standing in the doorway, clad in a pair of blue flannel bottoms and socks. He looked tired, maybe even a little unsure. Ianto sighed, pausing the video. "Jack, why did you marry me? I'm only going to die."
Jack smiled sadly as he moved towards his love. "Because you gave me something worth living for again Ianto. I married you because suddenly you made me see that I couldn't worry about tomorrow. Yeah, you'll probably die—long before me, but we've got all the time in the world for now. You gave me children, who I will watch grow up, make families of their own. There are going to be Jones-Harkness babies running around for billions of years. Doesn't that mean something to you? You made me realize that I'd rather live everyday with you that I possibly can, instead of living a moment without you while I could."
"Won't it hurt?"
Jack laughed. "Oh yes. I'm never going to be the same when you die Ianto. But I never would have been the same without you. So either way, I figure I'm a changed man. Come to bed, love."
Ianto looked down at his hands, at the wedding band on his finger. "You've changed, you know that."
Jack shrugged. "You did too."
"What am I like?"
"I'm not following."
"It's not me Jack! Don't you get it! I've told you I don't remember any of this! What's yours like? What's your Yan like? I can tell you what my Jack is like! He's nothing like you; he's flirtatious, boisterous, goofy, and dark—just underneath a surface of lies there's a man who's in so much pain, holding back a chasm of fear and sadness. But that's not you! You aren't my Jack. I don't know who you are!"
"You're saying you want that man back? The man who didn't believe in monogamy? That man who'd flirt with anything that has a post code!?" Jack asked in confusion as he shook his head.
Ianto sighed. "No that's not what I'm saying; I'm just trying to figure things out, Jack. You aren't the man I know. You aren't my Jack—what changed? Because this man—this man seems to roll over, seems so easy."
"You changed me! You did Yan; you made me realize that I didn't need to flirt with thousands of people to get the one thing I wanted. You proved to me that it was okay to stop flirting; it's okay to love freely. What do you want from me Yan? Because one minute it sounds like you could be happy in this life, and then the next you're telling me I'm not the same man you've been sleeping with for ten years—"
"I haven't been sleeping with you for ten years! I've been sleeping with you for less than one year! Damn it Jack! It's been less than a year since Lisa died for me! I'm still aching from that!"
"Lisa died years ago!"
"Not for me! Can't you hear me! This isn't my life. In my life, my world you've just danced with Gwen at her wedding."
"Ianto, it doesn't matter, what's past is past."
"Of course it matters!" Growled Ianto, getting more upset and scared by the moment. "It matters to me! I want to know if I'm ever going to get back to that part of my life! I want to know if I've lost ten years of my life. I really want to know if this is where I'm headed."
"Isn't this what you always wanted?"
Ianto shook his head. "Right now, I want—" Ianto groaned as he raked his hands through his hair. "I want to clean." Without another word Ianto stormed out of the house, leaving a very confused and concerned Jack behind.
o0o
Ianto spent the entire night getting lost in cleaning the hub. He couldn't handle this; it was all too much too fast. A part of him ached knowing this was what could be, he could live happily ever after with Jack have three beautiful babies. But another part of him—a scared part of him, was in denial over all of this. It was too good to be true, it wasn't right. Jack wasn't his Jack. This wasn't the Jack he'd fallen in love with.
Sure, parts of this man were the same; Ianto had fallen in love with the dark and vulnerable side of Jack. But he'd also fallen for that flirty side. He felt like he was going crazy. What had happened, why couldn't he remember the past ten years? Was it retcon. But it couldn't be that, because Ianto realized when he glanced in the mirror—he didn't look ten years older. He looked the exact same age as he did ten years ago at the age of twenty-six.
By the time everyone else arrived the hub was cleaner than it had been in years. Ianto was exhausted and feeling the affects of the past several days beginning to wear on him. Jack gave Ianto his needed space the whole day. They barely spoke and if they did, it was only because it was required. Ianto was frustrated and tired, he didn't like fighting with Jack, he hated it normally, but this seemed so surreal to him.
Ianto stepped into the house quietly that evening, expecting to find Jack angry at him for not talking to him or not going home with him that night. However what he found was quite the opposite. Jack sat in the middle of the living room holding a crying Johnny in one arm, and trying to reprimand the other two all at once.
"Oi what happened?!" Ianto questioned as he stepped into the room.
"Oh thank god! Take John."
Ianto chuckled softly as he accepted the crying boy. It amazed him and saddened him how often the toddler cried. Though to be fair, he was likely crying now because he had an ear infection. "Why don't we get you something good?" Ianto wandered into the kitchen, keeping an ear open to hear what Jack had to say.
"Papa—" began Little Rose.
Jack shook his head. "I don't want to hear it, you're older, now I realize you're only five but you know darn well that we don't climb trees! What if you'd fallen? What if your little brother had fallen? You could have gotten hurt."
"Wasn't a big tree." Mumbled the five year old.
Ianto heard Jack all but growl and winced as he stepped into the dinning room to watch his lover. "You, young lady can go upstairs to your bedroom and you better hope than when we decide your punishment that it's Father Yan doing it and not me! Now go!"
In a rush of balling tears the girl ran upstairs, a moment later the door slammed. Their second toddler stood in the middle of the floor, tears leaking from his eyes as well, but far more quietly. Ianto sighed, unsure if he could suddenly handle three crying children. "Okay Gareth, I think it's time you and Johnny played in your rooms for awhile." Ianto reached down and took his son's hand, sensing his partner needed a few minutes. He headed upstairs and placed Johnny in his crib. Pressing a gentle kiss to the toddler's forehead he then looked over at his other son. "Did you climb a tree?"
"Yes sir." Replied the toddler quietly.
"That was rather foolish wasn't it?"
"Yes sir."
"You're not allowed to leave this room again tonight, do I make myself clear?"
"Daddy—" the toddler began to whine but Ianto shook his head.
"No, if we've told you not to climb tress then that means no. Now you will sit in this room and think about what you've done. I'll speak with you later." Ianto pressed a quick kiss to Gareth's head, reminding his son that while they might be angry, they still loved him.
He then moved over to his daughter's room. He couldn't quite fathom how, at the age of five, she already had the basics of a teenager down—screaming, stomping and slamming. He knocked on the door softly. He wasn't surprised by the 'go 'way' he got, but he chose to go in anyway. Sitting down on his daughter's bed he gently rubbed her back. "Papa loves you."
"Then why'd he yell?"
Ianto sighed as he moved over and scooped her into his arms. "Because believe it or not papas' and daddies' get scared too."
"Really?"
Ianto grinned. "Oh yeah, all the time. Wanna know something? I'm terrified of being alone in the dark."
"No you're not."
He nodded. "Absolutely am, ask papa anytime. Why do you think I sleep with him?"
"Cause you love him."
Ianto allowed himself to laugh as he squeezed her close for a moment. "Aye, that too. Want to know what papa's afraid of."
"Nofin! Papa's superman!"
"No, papa's worst fear is loosing one of you three."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah." Ianto sighed as he realized what he'd just witnessed. Maybe Jack was different outwardly, but inside he was still that poor terrified immortal who would walk the earth alone. "Your papa loves you more than anything and if something ever happen to you, he'd never be able to forgive himself."
"Do you feel that way too?"
He pressed a kiss to her forehead and smiled, breathing in the scent of her innocence and shampoo. "Yep. Because you three were made out of something very special that Papa and I have."
"What!?" She bounced in his arms slightly.
Ianto chuckled again. "Love. There's nothing more pure than love and that's why Papa yelled because he loves you so much sometimes it physically hurts. And Papa isn't used to that kind of emotion so, sometimes he lashes out. But he does love you Rosie."
"Daddy—am I gonna get punished?"
"Definitely."
"What's it gonna be?"
He shrugged slightly and looked down at her. "What do you think it should be?"
"What are punisheds?"
"Punishments love and it means you have to do something you don't like for awhile until you've either learned a lesson or we decide you've gotten the message not to do it again."
"Oh—that doesn't sound very fun."
Ianto smirked and shook his head. "No, though I imagine they've become more innovative since your papa and I were kids. Let's see we could—ooh we could hang you by your toes!"
"DADDY!" giggled the girl as she snuggled into her daddy's arms. "No, that's mean."
"Well, we could always tickle you until you're breathless." He tickled her belly, playing slightly until she let out a playful shriek.
"That's fun."
"Hmm, good point. Ooh I know how about we—"
"No playing with Timmy after school."
"Oh, you like Timmy?"
She nodded. "He's my best friend."
Ianto smiled as he rocked her gently in his arms. "I imagine that's probably sufficient punishment. I'll talk to papa for sure."
"Will it be forever?"
"No angel, let me talk to papa first, but perhaps only a few weeks."
"That's so long."
Ianto stood up and placed his daughter back on her bed, pressing a kiss to her cheek he smirked. "For you perhaps, for us it's the blink of an eye." He smiled gently, running his hand over her hair. "We'll come get you when dinner is ready love."
"I love you, Daddy."
"Love you too Rosie." With that, Ianto slipped out of her bedroom and made his way downstairs. Jack sat in the middle of the couch, feet propped up on the table, hands covering his faces. Ianto looked at him for a moment, and then slipping into the den he poured two small tumblers of scotch. Moments later he returned to the living room and sat down on the couch, he stuck his hand out. "I'm sorry."
Jack uncovered his face and accepted the scotch. He sighed slowly. "Sometimes I wake up at night because of nightmares I have about you four. You convinced me that this was okay, that we'd find a way to make it work. Ianto, there's nothing that scares me more in this entire universe, than the idea of losing you and being alone, or explain to my children and grandchildren why I'm never going to change."
Ianto moved closer and wrapped his arm around Jack's shoulders. "Jack, all we have is this moment. And in this exact moment, we're here. You're so alive, more alive than I've ever seen you. Don't you want to cherish that? Don't worry about tomorrow, or yesterday. Today is all we've got, let's not waste it." He slipped his hand into Jack's, entwining their fingers. "I promise I will be here for as long as I can, no matter what."
"Ianto."
"Yeah?"
"If I hadn't met you—"
"You did."
"But if I hadn't."
"Then you'd be the same man you were proud of ten years ago."
Jack nodded. "I was so alone."
Leaning over Ianto pressed his lips to Jack's cheek. "You're not alone anymore."
Jack turned his head, capturing Ianto's lips against his. Placing the tumblers down the two men gripped one another, as if there was no other life line. Clinging to each other, they leaned back against the couch and allowed the passion and love to take over.