Hey there. I haven't updated for a while because I've been so busy but here is the new chapter! I hope you guys like it. I would really like to have some reviews! (:

Chapter Three: Masochistic

I stepped outside and walked quickly over to the trees, taking deep breaths of fresh air along the way. The words fresh air probably had more meaning to me than to any other simple human. The air was fresh and clean—clean from the dominant scent of Bella's blood that exposed me as the monster that I was more than anything else.

I broke into a run, following Jasper's thoughts ("Weak…nothing more than an amateur…embarrassment to everyone") to the place where he was. Next to the stream not a hundred yards away from where I had started.

I stopped a dozen feet away from him and surveyed him. He was sitting on a tree stump, his face in his hands.

"Jasper," I said softly "Jasper, it's alright…no one is angry with you.

"You don't understand," his voice was pained."I...I…attacked. I acted like an enemy." He couldn't seem to continue.

"I do understand, believe me. But—Jasper, what happened is nothing out of the ordinary. It was something to be expected. Not just from you, from anyone. You succumbed to your senses; that isn't unusual for someone with such little experience as you. As I said, no one, myself included, is mad at you." I spoke the truth. It was me that everyone ought to be mad at. After all, I was the one who had yet again placed Bella in a vulnerable situation. This was non different than the occurrence with James in phoenix.

Jasper didn't answer. His thoughts were fast and filled with self loathing.

I sat down on a rock and imitated Jasper by putting my face in my hands. I faintly heard Alice approaching but tried hard not to hear any sound but the stream. But I couldn't block out Alice's exasperated sigh when she saw the two of us.

Of course, the only reasonable and sensible way to handle this was to leave. To leave Bella behind for her own good. The very thought threw tension and misery through me which was so intense I felt like I was being torn to shreds. This was a decision I was to selfish to make.

Yet, what if I summoned up the courage to do it? I could withstand anything else, why not this? It was simple. When we would leave, the danger would go away/ I could deal with the eternal anguish. And Bella…she would find distractions. She would 

overcome it. I was sure I could live my so called life to that extent of grief. Yes. It was the only possible solution…

And yet, how could I bring myself to hurt her? The memory of her in the hospital, with too many injuries inflicted onto her because of me, flew into my head. Her eyes and panic at the very mention of leaving.

Her words from before floated into my head. "Why are you so masochistic?" Was it really because I loved her? Or was it because my selfishness kept causing everyone pain, myself include? And what I was about to decide, or had already decided, was about to cause me more pain than anything else. All my instincts shied away from it, shielding me from the pain.

I finally looked up and met Alice's gaze.

"You've decided to leave," She thought, sadness profound in her eyes.

I nodded curtly. She nodded back, but slowly.

"Carlisle will be finished soon, you should get back." She whispered.

Without another word, I broke into a run.

So that's that. I hope you liked it. Reviews are lovely :D