Title: Sick Day
Rating: PG-13 for raging hormones.
Characters: Sasuke x (Sakura/Ino/Hinata/Kurenai/Shizune(?)/Tsunade(?))
Word Count: 1050
Summary: Sasuke dislikes being sick.
Author's Notes: I got my first flame on KOST today! It cracked me up. So I'd just like to say a big thank you to everyone out there who takes this stuff so seriously that they can't handle someone poking fun at their favorite characters. If it weren't for you guys, well... If it weren't for you guys, I guess the world would be a more well-adjusted place, but who wants THAT?

Sasuke slipped his hand out from under the bedcovers and touched it to his forehead. Still sweltering hot. He sighed.

Uchiha Sasuke was sick. Horribly, violently sick. He'd woken up that morning with a fever, too weak to stand. Of course, that hadn't stopped him from crawling out of bed and slumping down the stairs to the street below his apartment. Sasuke wasn't going to let some stupid illness keep him from training.

He had, however, forgotten to take into account one important fact: women.

Ino had found him first, as he lay panting at the bottom of the apartment stairs. The blonde-haired girl had turned pale at the sight of him, running to his side and frantically trying to help him back upstairs. Of course, Sasuke didn't WANT to go back upstairs, which created an uncomfortable tangle of limbs. Lacking the energy to stand upright unaided, Sasuke had eventually toppled over onto Ino.

While Sasuke was lying prone on top of Ino, of course, was the exact moment Sakura came along. After a few minutes shouting, fuming, and throwing things, Sakura had finally come to understand that Sasuke was sick. He and Ino were not, however much the blonde girl would like to have claimed, engaging in an extended make out session on the ground just outside his apartment complex. The realization that Sasuke was ill prompted a mothering reaction from Sakura as well. She tried to haul him off Ino and drag him back upstairs into his apartment. Sasuke still didn't want to go, though, and even though Ino and Sakura seemed to agree on what should be done with him, neither wanted to let the other do it.

So the three of them had wound up on the ground, again, arms and legs all tangled together. Sasuke was on top, and after spending all of his energy to keep from being brought home, he had absolutely none left to get off the two girls. Sakura and Ino, for their part, smiled blissfully and seemed content to leave him there.

The three of them might have stayed like that all day, if Hinata hadn't wandered along. Understandably, she turned bright crimson as soon as she saw the three of them, and rushed over to try to... help? Honestly, Sasuke wasn't sure why she rushed over. He seemed to remember her whimpering something about Naruto and pretty boys, but that didn't make any sense. Anyway, who in their right mind would think Naruto was pretty? Not that Hinata was necessarily in her right mind.

Ino and Sakura had, reluctantly, struggled out from under him when Hinata came over. Not to help her pick Sasuke up or anything. They were just upset someone else was intruding, and the three of them proceeded to fight, there in the street, right next to Sasuke himself, about who had the right to help take care of Sasuke. Ino insisted that because she found him, it was her job. Sakura claimed that as his teammate, care of Sasuke should fall to her. Hinata kept blushing and stammering so much that Sasuke never really gathered the gist of her argument.

Soon enough, Kurenai-sensei came looking for Hinata, who had failed to show up for training at the scheduled time. She took in the sight of Sasuke, lying in the dirt, and the three girls, screaming shrilly and slapping at one another, and understood the situation immediately. So Kurenai stormed through the battling women, lifted Sasuke by the collar of his shirt, and began dragging him away. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino weren't about to stand for that, however, and leaped on the older woman intent to get him back. Kurenai was quick to fight back, and what had been a catfight began to take on a more violent cast.

The fight was drawing a crowd now, and disrupting traffic in the street. It wasn't too much longer before Tsunade herself arrived, Shizune in tow. A few shouted words and broken buildings later, the fight was over. Of course, Sasuke still couldn't move unaided. So Tsunade, with that inhuman strength of hers, slung him over her shoulder and tramped back to the Hokage's office complex. The other four women followed angrily, but at a respectful distance. That was about the time when Sasuke finally passed out.

And now, here he was, the great Uchiha Sasuke, a prisoner in the Hokage's own apartments, trapped in the woman's king-sized four-posted bed, without a stitch of clothing on him. Sasuke had to admit, even he was reluctant to go train if he didn't have clothes. He sighed, and felt a twinge in his chest. Sasuke hated being sick. And he hated women, even more. At least if he was locked up in Tsunade's apartments, it meant the woman had finally managed to make all the others leave him alo-

The door to the bedroom slammed open, and a line of women marched inside. Tsunade was in the lead, wearing her usual bathrobe ensemble. Behind her, Sasuke could see all the others. He swallowed, reflexively.

Tsunade stopped in front of Sasuke and looked him in the eye. "Good. You're awake. Now, as much as I try to get these women to leave, none of them will listen to me. So I've agreed to let them watch over you while you're sick, Sasuke."

Kurenai-sensei stood there, dressed professionally and sporting a pair of glasses and a notebook. She seemed to be in command. Behind her, Hinata waited in... Sasuke had to be dreaming. It was too weird. Hinata was wearing a French maid's outfit? Her cheeks were bright red. She was carrying a tray with a teapot and a steaming cup on it, though. Maybe she was supposed to be supplying him with medicine... Sasuke swallowed again, and then turned his head to look past her.

Sakura and Ino were at the back, both wearing the same outfit: a sleeveless white frock with a red cross embroidered over the right breast. Ino had a stethoscope around her neck, and was digging through a white designer medical kit. Sakura was pulling on a pair of long, latex gloves. They both flashed dazzling smiles at Sasuke.

"Oh, nooo..." Sasuke moaned weakly.

Tsunade's smile never touched her eyes. "Get well soon, Sasuke. Get well soon."