S4E17: I Walk the Line

The legendary Johnny Cash once sang, "Because you're mine, I walk the line," Referring to his first wife. The one he had married before the fame and fortune. He vowed to walk the line, because she was his wife. And even with the thousands of women falling at his feet, he was doing quite well, and then he met June.

Meredith was lying in bed, she stood up and looked in the mirror. For the first time she turned to the side and admired her growing stomach. As she did she recalled the night before.

(Flashback)

"Meredith," Derek said softly. "This isn't how this should be." He shook his head shifting his stance slightly, "You shouldn't have to always be the other women, you are too good for that. It should be just you and me and I should sweep you off your feet and get down on one knee and give you the most beautiful ring you have ever seen and it should be in a fancy restaurant or something, not in the stairwell at the hospital." He smiled at her. "Not that I am saying no because, Meredith nothing would make me happier than marrying you. To raise our baby together," he touched her stomach, it gave her a tingly butterfly', "and grow old together." He smiled. " And we will have that, but we… I have put you through too much to have this not be the perfect moment for you." He kissed her softly.

She smiled at the thought of the events of the night before, she changed quickly and then headed out the door.

Rose followed Derek into the elevator,

"What happened last night Derek? I thought we had plans?"

"I'm sorry, something came up," he said and then quickly pushed something on his phone. A few seconds later it rang. "I'm sorry Rose, I have to take this." He answered it. "Yes, I understand that, I have a few surgeries scheduled for today, so I will have to plan a consult for tomorrow." The elevator doors opened. Rose walked out and then disappeared down the hallway.

"Derek what are you talking about?" Addison's voice could be heard through the phone and then outside the elevator door. She glanced down the hall and then saw Rose. "Your avoiding Rita aren't you."

"Rose," Derek corrected.

"Right," Addison answered.

"and no I just wanted to talk to you," Derek lied.

"About a fake consult for a fake patient?" Addison asked.

"Yes," Derek laughed.

"You talk to Meredith lately?" Addison asked curiously.

"hmm maybe," Derek said mysteriously.

"What?!" Addison chased him as the elevator doors opened.

"Goodbye Addison," Derek said disappearing into a patients room.

Cristina knocked on Richard's door.

"Chief, you wanted to see me," Cristina entered his office.

"Yes, Dr Yang, have a seat," Richard responded. "You have been offered to participate in an advanced cardio program in New York. It is actually through the same hospital that Mark, Addison and Derek were in. I have taught there myself. It is a fantastic program. Here are the papers that they sent over for you to look at, tell me if you have any questions." He explained handing her the papers, "and Cristina, they need an answere as soon as possible."

Addison looked up from her chart, to find Mark hovering over Erica across the room. She watched them a moment and then Erica walked away happily, Marks eyes met hers. She cleared her throat and looked down uncomfortably.

He watched her for a moment, aware that she was pained, "Addison," he said softly approaching her desk.

"Dr. Sloan," she said bitterly, "can I help you with something?"

"No," he sighed and turned to walk away, hesitated, turned back looked her in the eye and then walked away.

Moments later Addison got up and walked away too.

Meredith put her tray on the lunch table full of her friends.

"You're going to start waddling soon," Izzie joked, as Meredith sat down at the lunch table.

"Shut up! Am I even showing?" Meredith asked concerned

"A little," Lexie smiled.

"In tighter clothes, its more obvious," Addison added in, joining the table.

"You're face is rounder," Alex announced through a bit of Izzie's yogurt.

"Rounder?" Meredith questioned them.

"Yeah it kinda is," George agreed.

As everyone turned to notice the shape of Meredith's face, Derek walked by and gave her a McDreamy look. It was very obvious.

"Dude, did you sleep with him last night?" Alex asked instantly.

"What? No?" Meredith defended herself too quickly. "He's with Rose"

"Uh huh," Cristina looked up from her chip bag, "than why did he just give you the McDreamy sex eyes."

"He didn't."

"Oh he did," Izzie and Lexie said at the same time.

"He really did," Addison nodded.

"We're friends, I guess," Meredith was clearly getting desperate.

"Last time you were friends, you lost your panties at the prom." Cristina reminded her.

" 'mmmm yes, the black panties. I remember those, you can clearly never be just friends with Derek." Addison smiled

"You totally slept with McDreamy," Izzie smiled, not realizing that Rose was walking past the table. She turned and gave Izzie a look. "Opps"

"Shit," Meredith said instantly.

"Ya, I'm going to leave now." Izzie said getting up from the table. Izzie ran from the Cafeteria. Ryan was waiting at the corner.

"Isobel," he smiled.

"I thought we decided you were going to stop that," Izzie returned his smile.

"What time did you leave last night?" Ryan asked her.

"Like 3, I that I should get home because I had to be at work early," Izzie explained.

"So this going home together thing, is it going to be a habit?" Ryan grinned.

"Maybe," Izzie said mysteriously.

"Maybe?" Ryan questioned her.

"Maybe." Izzie confirmed it.

"Good," Ryan smiled, "are you on call tonight?"

"Yes," Izzie answered with an annoyed tone.

"Me too," Ryan answered quickly.

"Really," Izzie's voice and eyes were suddenly filled with mischief.

George was standing at the corner near the lab with Callie.

"So did you and Erica have fun last night?" George asked curiously.

"Yah, it was nice. I tried to convince her to dump Mark, but she wouldn't listen. I think she really has a thing for him. Even though she claims she doesn't. How was your night?" Callie asked sincerely.

"Fine," George shrugged. "I missed you," he kissed her softly. "You want to go to Joe's with everyone tonight?"

"Yeah, that'll be fun." Callie said firmly.

"So what's the deal with Shepard and Grey? I saw him follow her into the locker room like five minutes ago?"

"Who knows." George shook his head.

"Are they like back together?" Callie asked curiously.

"Pretty sure, she's having his baby, but that's just an educated guess,"

"An educated guess, what are you a scientist?" She questioned him sarcastically.

"Shut up," he said playfully.

"Say it again, it was really kind of sexy," Callie smiled.

Derek looked at Meredith, he was having trouble staying away from her today. They were practically back together. She could feel his McDreamy eyes looking at her. She didn't want to look back, not yet.

"Hey," Derek smiled leaning against the lockers.

"Hey," Meredith answered.

"How are you feeling?" Derek asked concerned.

"Fat," Meredith said standing to look in the mirror. "is my face rounder than normal?" Derek looked at it for a second, he smiled noticing that it was a little. "Derek!" Meredith wined, "My face is fat, and my stomach is fat," she pulled her scrub shirt up to look at it in the mirror. "I'm faaaaatt," She wined.

It was the first time Derek saw Meredith's little baby bump. "Meredith," he said softly, a smile stretched across his face. He reached around her and touched held her stomach with both hands and then admired her reflection in the mirror, "You're beautiful."

They stayed their silently for a minute. He took in the smell of her hair and the feeling of having her tiny body, once again pressed against his. He was going to spend the rest of his life with her. He had always known it, but some part of him was worried that she would never be ready. And now she was. He knew she was scared, but so was he.

He leaned in to kiss her, but stop and just wavered over her lips for a second. She could feel his warm breath against her lips. He could practically taste her lips and then the door opened. Derek instantly turned the other direction.

"Oh god, sorry," Rose said not realizing who she had walked in on and then she froze. He turned to look at her. Her face dropped, she swallowed hard and then turned to leave.

"Damn it," Derek muttered under his breath.

Izzie found George still waiting at the Lab.

"Hey," Izzie said cheerfully.

"Hey," George smiled.

"So what's up," she said in her too happy, Izzie tone.

"Nothing," George replied.

They both looked to Rose, who as storming by them.

"What's her problem?" Izzie said immediately.

"I don't know." George said. "You really think Mer and Shepard…"

"Oh yah, and if they didn't it's only a matter of time," Izzie smiled.

"Good point," George gesturned toward Izzie and then he rethought, "Even though she's having another man's baby?"

"You really believed that?" Izzie asked reflexively.

"What? Is she having Shepard's baby?"

"No…yes…oh god I shouldn't have told you that." Izzie cringed. "I'm leaving before I spill any other dark and twisty secrets."

Meredith's doorbell rang, she walked out from the kitchen to get it. She opened the door and was surprised to see Mark standing there.

"Mark?"

"Hey, is Addison here?" Mark asked.

"Uh, no, she's not," Meredith gave Mark a questioning look.

"What?" he was suddenly defensive. "It's a work question."

"Right," Meredith nodded.

"I have this patient who plans on getting pregnant but wants a breast enhancement," Mark rambled, clearly lying.

"Who kicked me out?" Meredith asked suddenly.

"Out of what?" Mark asked confused.

"The dirty mistress club." She asked. Mark smiled. "Because if I was still in the club you would not be lying to me."

"I'm sorry," he smiled. She walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

"I'm having Derek's baby and Rose caught us practically making out today. Your turn," Meredith shrugged.

"I'm in love with Addison," Mark said.

Meredith was completely shocked, "Woah? You win."

"My first instinct was to run, and not be this guy again but then I wondered if I was this guy all along. I know she's going to leave but."

"but you feel like if you don't try, you'll always wonder," Meredith smiled.

"I shouldn't wonder, and there are about a million things I shouldn't do where Addison is involved,"

"Mark, if I've learned anything in the past year and a half, that it's to follow your heart, even if you're scared, even if you think it's wrong, follow your heart, or you'll regret it."

Mark smiled, it was funny, because in that brief moment, she saw a little bit of Derek in him. He stood up, patted Meredith's head and turned to walk away. As he got to the doorway, Addison came through the front door, "Grey?" she yelled.

Meredith signaled him to go talk to her. He turned the corner and went out, "Mark?" Addison jumped.

"Hey," he said softly.

Meredith suddenly walked through the entrance way." I uh… I have to go, just remember I'm on call. Addison will talk later?"

"Yah," Addison nodded.

Meredith quickly walked outside.

"What are you doing here?" Addison asked.

"None of it matters Addison, not the abortion, not the fact that you slept with Karev or left me to run back to Derek. All that matters is that when I look at you, or even think about you, all I want to do is kiss you. And its not just because you are incredibly sexy, its because you are intelligent and the hardest worker I know, and even though you make mistakes, you are good person."

Addison looked at Mark, completely consumed by his eyes. She sighed softly.

Derek found Rose at the Nurse's station, she was working a double shift today. He walked up the station and sat next to her.

"Hi," he said softly. She didn't answer him.

"Why should I talk to you," Rose said firmly. "I should have known Derek, I should have known. Everyone was telling me, he'll never get over Meredith Grey, don't mess with that, there's too much baggage. But I chose to believe you and then I walk in on you making out with her in the locker room."

"I wasn't making out with her."

"She's having another man's baby," Rose shook her head.

Derek looked down, and ran his hands through his hair realizing how hard this was going to be. He looked back up, "no she's not."

"So you slept with her while we were together?"

"No, she's just over three months pregnant, it was before us."

"How am I supposed to believe that, Derek," Rose yelled.

"That's not the point," Derek shook his head. Rose was silent and looked up at him.

"What is the point?"

"I should have never done this. I should have known that the second she was ready to grow up and have a real life with me, or at all for that matter that I would go running back to her. I'm in love with her. I'll always be in love with her. We've been through too much for me to forget that she ever existed. And I can't handle the in between... the just friends. I'm sorry that I did this to you, I should have never put you in this position." Derek said with sad eyes and then got up to leave.

We all struggle to walk the line.

"Hi, this is Dr. Christina Yang, I'm calling about the advanced Cardio Program I was offered."

"One moment please." There was a long pause. Cristina anxiously tapped her finger against the phone. " I'm sorry the Chief is out for the rest of the day, can I have him call you back?"

"No, does he have a voice mail?

"Yes, I'll put you right through,"

The line between right

The machine beeped and Cristina took a deep breath, "This is Dr Cristina Yang, I work under Chief Richard Weber at Seattle Grace Hospital, I'm very sorry, but I am going to have to decline your program, my best friend is having a baby and I really think its necessary that I stay in the area. Thank you for the wonderful opportunity."

Meredith was sitting on the grass in front of Derek's trailer. For a minute she feared that he wouldn't show up. Maybe he would choose to be with Rose, instead of her. She rolled her eyes at the thought and then she heard footsteps from behind her. Moments later Derek sat by her side, she turned to look at him, he kissed her passionately.

"Come on," he took her hand and led her to his car.

and wrong.

Mark looked at Addison, her eyes were glassy and pained. He reached out and touched her arm. It gave her chills. He ran his thumb down her fragile face, he leaned in and kissed her softly at first and then faster. He pushed her toward the living room, the fell over the back of the couch. She laughed as the plopped onto the other side.

Izzie walked out of a patients room and handed a chart to Rose, who gave her a dirty look and then took it out of her hand.

The line between professional

She walked further down the hall and then into the on call room where Ryan was waiting for her. She straddled him, and then kissed him.

and not professional.

Lexie found Alex sitting on the gurneys in the basement. Her eyes met his, then she sat down.

The line between friends and more than friends.

Derek had Meredith's eyes covered for the last twenty-minutes, "Derek where are we going?" They walked up a ramp.

"Shush, not yet," Patrick said softly. They walked up a little further. Meredith could suddenly feel a cold breeze on her face.

But there comes a moment,

Izzie is laying in Ryan's arms

when the we leave the line behind completely.

Addison and Mark making love in Meredith's living room.

We throw the rules out the window.

"You see, I have this thing for… ferry boats," Derek said softly into Meredith's ear and dropped the blindfold.

She opened her eyes and realized she was looking out at the water, she smiled at his words and felt the air on her face for a minute, she turned to find him one knee.

"Derek," she said surprised.

"Meredith, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, the good, the bad, I want to be with you. I want to be 85 and sitting on our front porch, telling our grandchildren the story of how we fell in love." Meredith smiled, "They should probably be 18 before they hear it, but they'll love it just the same." He opened the ring box, "Meredith Grey, will you marry me?"

"Yes," Meredith smiled brightly, a few tears streaming down her cheeks, he slipped the ring on her finger and picked her up and spun her around.

And just live our life.