Title: No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Konohamaru and the Torquemada Crew
Word count: 1080
Summary: Konohamaru has something that everybody wants.

Konohamaru awoke to darkness. He was sitting, probably on a wooden chair given the hardness of the seat beneath him. His legs and torso were lashed to the chair, and his hands bound behind its back. Konohamaru squirmed, trying to work his wrists free of the ropes, but they held no slack. Whoever had done this to him was clearly a professional.

With a loud click, a large halogen spotlight blazed to life in front of him. The beam was pointed at his face, making it impossible to see. Konohamaru's muscles tensed in surprise, and the chair should have rocked back, perhaps even toppled. It didn't. Maybe it was nailed to the floor.

A silky female voice emerged from the darkness beyond the lamp. "You're sure he's secure? There is no chance of him escaping?" The woman's tone was strange, hints of command mixed with diffidence. She sounded young, too; no more than twenty. Konohamaru wasn't sure, but he thought he might have heard the voice before.

Another voice answered, also female. "Yes, Mistress, he is secure."

"And we have the necessary tools?"

A third woman spoke. "Yeah, sure. But I don't see why you're insisting on all this secrecy, H-"

"SILENCE! We cannot allow him to know our names. Not until he is completely in our power." Konohamaru was sure he knew that voice, was sure he knew all the voices. He just couldn't seem to remember.

A pale hand thrust into the light, holding a sheaf of photographs. "Now, Konohamaru. Do you recognize any of the ninja in these pictures?" It was one of the three voices, but Konohamaru couldn't decide which.

Konohamaru tried to lean forward, but was stopped by the chair. He strained his neck, trying to look at the photos in front of him. The first one was easy. "Yeah, I know him, but why should I tell y-"

Something cracked against the back of his head, bringing a yell of surprise. Whatever that was, it had hurt. Well, if he really did know the women behind these voices, whoever they were, it was probably okay if he cooperated. A little. Especially if it saved him being hit again. "Oww. Fine, fine. That's Naruto-niichan. Everybody knows him. I don't know why you have to show me a picture."

Another pale hand appeared for a moment to move that picture to the back, revealing a new ninja. "And this one?" That was a different voice, Konohamaru was sure. They must be taking turns speaking, hoping to keep him off guard.

"Uhh… I'm not sure on that one…. Is that Sasuke-sempai? I haven't seen him in three or four years, so I'm not sure."

"Put that one aside," one of the voices said. "This is hardly going to be worth the trouble if he can't remember Sasuke. And I want better results than what he showed earlier." That was the one who had challenged the leader.

"Yeah," agreed another voice. Konohamaru thought it was a fourth woman. How many people were in on this? "We'll just have to make sure he relearns that image."

His head hurt, but Konohamaru tried to focus his thoughts. Four women, no names. He had to keep them straight somehow. Leader, Servant, Challenger, and Fourth. That would do for now.

"Enough," the leader snapped. The top photo changed again. "And this?"

The photos kept coming, ninja after ninja. Neji, Shikamaru, Sai, Kankuro, Rock Lee, Gaara, Chouji. Then the teachers as well: Kakashi, Yamato, Iruka, Gai, Ebisu, others. When all the photos had been shown, they began again, making him stare at them longer and longer.

"Don't you think that's enough yet? If he doesn't know them now, he'll never learn them." The challenger.

"She's right, Mistress. I think he's ready." The servant.

"All right, all right," the leader sighed petulantly. "Give him the serum."

A hand reached around and clamped against Konohamaru's chin. A needle flashed out of the darkness, stabbing into his neck and injecting a pale green fluid. The liquid burned in his veins. Only the hand holding his jaw closed kept Konohamaru from screaming.

The pain began to ebb, slowly. A part of Konohamaru's mind noted that his willpower, his emotions flowed away at the same time.

The spotlight flicked off and fluorescent overhead lights came on, revealing a large basement room and four young women standing in a line.

"What did you do that for, Sakura," Hinata shouted. "He can see us now!"

"Oh, relax. I told you that serum was fast-acting. He won't remember any of this tomorrow morning." Sakura rolled her eyes in exasperation. "I don't know why I even invited you three."

"I want to see Neji and Gaara, Mistress!" Tenten chimed up from where she stood behind Hinata's shoulder.

"Shut it, Tenten." Ino tapped her foot impatiently. "Everyone gets her turn, and I wanna go first. I say Sasuke and Shikamaru."

The two argued for a few seconds, and even Hinata started to chime in before Sakura quashed it all with one echoing bellow. "All of you, stop it. This was my idea, and you should just be glad I invited you. Hinata, I'm tired of you trying to take over. Tenten, if you don't stop calling Hinata 'Mistress', I swear I'm going to kick you so hard you won't even LIKE boys anymore. And Ino…. You just stand there and be quiet, or I'll kill you where you stand." The other three girls froze, slightly fearful looks glazing their eyes.

Sakura nodded approvingly, and walked over to the chair. She pulled out a kunai and slashed the ropes holding Konohamaru's legs and chest, and then the ones binding his wrists. She smiled warmly.

"Okay, now, Konohamaru, there's a little favor I want you to do. You'd like to do a favor for me, wouldn't you?" She gave him a small smile, red just touching her cheeks.

Konohamaru nodded blissfully. Anything to make Sakura happy.

The smile on Sakura's face warmed. "Good, then! Now, do you remember that new technique you showed off in the street yesterday? The… uh… boy-on-boy illusion technique?" The blush came back, a little brighter.

"Of course I remember, Sakura!"

Sakura ruffled his hair playfully. "Perfect. Well, then, how about you start by showing us what it would look like if… Naruto and Sasuke were… umm, y'know… …together?" Her face turned positively crimson with the request.

Konohamaru smiled as his hands began working the seals. Anything to make Sakura happy.