Teardrops On My Guitar

Eddie sat at the bar at the Iceberg Lounge. Usually he avoided the bar. Hugo Strange, Killer Croc, and Tom Blake usually sat at the bar. The miserable, pathetic, loners that none of the other rogues talked to. But tonight Holly was behind the bar and Eddie was alone.

"So where's the little lady?" Holly asked him.

"Harley? She had some stuff to get done tonight," he replied.

cut to Harley, Ivy, and Selina sitting on the couch at home eating pints of ice cream and watching Witches of Eastwick

"That sucks," she said.

"Yeah. A bit."

Eddie and Harley had been dating for two weeks and this was his first night alone. He decided to spend a cozy night at home with a good movie. After a half hour he began to get lonely and then he panicked. He practically ran all the way down to the Iceberg.

"Holly!" Joker whined from the end of the bar.

"Coming hon. Duty calls," she said.

Eddie watched her walk down to the Joker. He had his face buried in his arms and an empty glass in his hand. Eddie sighed and shook his head. A sad clown was a sad sight.

"He's been in here every night since Harley booted him. Mr. Cobblepot feels so bad for him he lets him drink for free," Holly told him.

"Wow."

"Yeah, and he likes to tell stories. Last night Ron heard the story of how he and Harley met for the millionth time. He finally called Joker a cab and sent him on his way."

"Great my girlfriend drives men to the sauce," Eddie joked.

"You could be next. Be careful."

"I don't know how he let things get so bad with her. She's amazing."

Holly turned around and wiped a glass. She didn't want to hear this. She'd rather listen to Joker cry about Harley than Eddie telling her how great Harley is.

"I mean she's a total knockout. Not just the way she looks but the whole package. She's smart. Man is she smart. She puts on this front that she's a ditz but really she's a genius. She plays the poor innocent girl to fool you. To get what she wants. And she's funny. She makes me laugh so hard it hurts."

"Holly!" Joker cried again.

"Saved." She thought. "One sec Eddie." She sauntered back down to Joker.

"I think you should ease up babe. You're hitting the bottle a little too hard tonight."

"Who are you talking to down there?" he asked.

"Eddie," she replied.

"Eddie? Well then," Joker got up from his stool and walked down to the empty on next to Eddie. He slapped him on the back. "Eddie! How you been?"

Eddie rolled his eyes and sighed. "Great. You?"

"Good good. Well, pretty good. You know me and Harley split," Joker said.

Eddie could smell the alcohol on his breath and his clothes. It was like he bathed in it and gargled it. "You did huh?"

"Uh huh. She took off but I was about to drop her anyway. She was getting too clingy again."

"You don't say," Eddie replied rolling his eyes.

Holly walked over to them and smiled. "How about something eat babe?" she asked Joker.

"I'm not hungry," he replied.

"You should really eat," Eddie said.

"Buck up camper," Holly said. "You'll find someone new. Eddie found a girl."

Eddie looked at her with panicked eyes.

Holly didn't know why she said what she said next but she knew what would happen when she did. "Yeah, tall, blonde, blue eyes, a real knockout."

"Really?" Joker asked. "Who is she?"

"No one really," he said nervously.

"Don't be shy Eddie. Tell him about you and Harley."

Joker stood up and towered over Eddie. "Harley? Harley! My Harley?!"

"No, maybe, yes!" he cried.

Joker grabbed Eddie by the shirt and threw him out the door. "I'll kill you Nigma!" he yelled.

Eddie laid on the ground with his hands up in surrender. "Joker please! It was an accident," he begged.

"Accident? Bull! You've had your eye on her for too long now! I'll make it so you never eye anything again!" Joker lunged for Eddie but he was too quick. Eddie jumped up off the ground and ran down the street. He hailed a cab and jumped in.

Joker tried to follow but got rather dizzy rather quickly and had to grab onto a street light to hold him up.

Holly came running out of the Iceberg. She walked over to Joker and threw his arm around her shoulder. "Come on big guy. Let's get you home."