Disclaimer- What fun would it be to actually create Star Wars when you can write pointless, albeit humorous, stuff like this?
Thanks to: elphabathedelirious- Because your name wasn't already hard enough to make out? Fine…. Anyway, thanks as always for the awesome review, and Jodi Picoult is amazing. I took your advice and read two of her books. I'm reviewing The Tenth Circle for the next issue of the school paper. Always open to more suggestions. Haraneo B.P. Wicked- We love to make people fall off their chairs! We also seem to have a talent for making people choke on drinks too, but that's a different story. KillinBuddy- Lobsters in a bucket can't get out sometimes. MMM73181- Okay! Alley Parker- Yeah, about that … oops. Thank you for the review! QueenMeep- You rock a lot. We always enjoy your wonderful support. Thanks! san01- THANK YOU! WE'RE GETTING USED TO YELLING NOW. Rono- We love you, that was such a great review. Lauren would give you a hug if she wasn't so emotionally distant. Taraum- Yay, thank you. Jedi Master Arie Skywalker- Okay, thanks. master of random disaster- Yeah, you're wrong, but good try! DragonRidingSorceress- Thanks for the recommendation, we'll check them out! Mercutio Archer- Well, we absolutely love that you review our story. You are funny, crazy, a tiny bit scary, and we love you for it. But we just have to say, and Lauren in particular would like to emphasize, who the hell listens to P!ATD? Put in some Nine Inch Nails. Closer. It's a good song.
Closer
Day Two
A stream of soft sunlight fell across Anakin's face as he slept. The golden light filtered through his closed eyelids, causing him to squint slightly and start to wake. He rolled over and opened his eyes, sighing and surveying the wall just opposite him. It was a few minutes before he remembered the events of the day before – that's when it became slightly harder to breathe.
He had no idea a bet could be so stressful, much less after only one day. He had grown up on Tatooine, a place so riddled with betting and gambling that it was impossible not to be accustomed to such things. His freedom was even won through a well-placed bet!
This wager with Obi-wan though…. Even though he had suggested it, he didn't think he could stand anymore of his master's incessant hugs. All throughout the remainder of the day after their meeting with the Council yesterday, Obi-wan had been surprising him with random, terrifying hugs. Out of nowhere the man would just grab him, embracing him with all the apparent joy of a close friend. It had gotten so that whenever Obi-wan would approach him within a certain proximity, Anakin would involuntarily pull back, often stumbling and running into walls or other people passing through the corridors.
He didn't know why the idea of being closer with his master was so awkward, so weird. He was certainly not "emotionally detached" as Obi-wan had put it, and he still couldn't believe that the man would have the nerve to say so considering he was about as emotional as a rock. A boring rock. With a beard.
Anakin needed time. He needed to just sit down and think, to get over himself and win this bet. He needed time now. Jumping out of bed and dressing quickly, he strode toward the door with the full intent of getting out of their apartment and avoiding Obi-wan for as long as it took him to get a grip on himself. He had taken two steps out of his room, however, when a leg stretched out before him, causing him to trip and land face down on the floor.
"Obi-wan – what?" he said, rolling over and looking at the man standing by the door with his arms folded across his chest.
"I could sense your freak-out all the way from the kitchen," said Obi-wan. "You should really be more mindful of your thoughts, Anakin." He bent down and offered his hand to Anakin, helping him to his feet.
"I-I was just, er …" Anakin managed to stumble.
"Save it," Obi-wan broke in simply. "You made this bet, and I assumed you'd be able to carry it out. You're too afraid – you always have been. For someone that can do so much, I would think that you could learn to control your fears. We have a lot to do today, so get over it, concentrate on the moment, and lose this bet so I can see you bald!"
Anakin didn't know what to say. He felt almost – almost – guilty at Obi-wan's words. "Erm, okay?" he finally spoke.
Obi-wan stared at him incredulously for a moment before saying, "Okay."
"So, uh, what all are we doing today?" Anakin went on uncomfortably, attempting to change the subject as he started walking toward the kitchen.
"Well," sighed Obi-wan, following his padawan, "we have that job for the Council in twenty minutes, and then – "
"Yeah, about that," Anakin interrupted nervously, "remind me exactly what we're doing again…."
Obi-wan merely gazed at his apprentice and then said, "You were staring at Ki-Adi-Mundi's head again, weren't you?"
"No, I absolutely was n– okay, yes I was. It's just so weird."
"How do you expect to even qualify for the trials when you can't concentrate on a simple meeting?"
"I-I'll try harder," Anakin said, deflating under his master's stare.
Again Obi-wan just looked at his apprentice before beginning, "We leave in fifteen minutes to help clean the Temple. It's a service task the Council deemed appropriate for a prominent team like us."
"Clean the Temple?" Anakin asked, dumbfounded. "We've gone on how many missions, proven our skills more than adequate, and they want us to clean the Temple?"
"Your modesty never ceases to amaze me," said Obi-wan wryly. "The Council feels that lately the Temple's many inhabitants are disregarding the condition of their home. By setting us – two model Jedi – this assignment, they hope to encourage others to keep the place clean as well."
"That's absurd," Anakin commented petulantly.
"Well, you volunteered for it. Next time I'd suggest you take your nose out of Ki-Adi-Mundi's wrinkles and actually listen to what's going on if you don't want to end up cleaning. Now, what would you like for breakfast?"
Anakin just buried his head in his hands.
Fifteen minutes and a few pancakes later, Anakin and Obi-wan were ready to start their task. Accompanied by a broom, a mop and a couple of buckets full of soapy water and cleaning rags, they started down the hall.
"We look like idiots carrying all this stuff, Obi-wan," Anakin muttered, shooting furtive glances at the Jedi throughout the corridor who were all but staring at them as they passed.
"Stop whining, padawan," said Obi-wan. "You never know – you might find that you rather enjoy giving back to the Temple. And if all else fails, at least we'll be able to hug all day."
"So embarrassing," Anakin grumbled quietly. "How can you not be bothered by the fact that everyone is staring at us right now?"
"I am not bothered because I have a feeling that the reason for their staring might be that your pants are on backwards," Obi-wan whispered in return.
"What!" Anakin screeched, looking down hurriedly to see what his master was talking about. But his pants were on just fine. "Wait a minute…." Raising his eyes to look at Obi-wan's face, he saw that the man was barely containing a fit of laughter.
"You need to relax," he managed to say. "Who cares if people are staring? I mean, I know I am typically the voice of public decency and propriety, but you have to understand that there is no shame in what we are doing. Who cares if people are gawking at you if you know you're doing the right thing?"
Anakin opened his mouth to respond, but stopped short as they arrived at their destination. "A bathroom?" he said instead. "So not only do we have to clean, but we have to clean a bathroom?"
"Well, yes," said Obi-wan. "They are the dirtiest areas of the Temple after all."
Anakin sighed and stepped through the open doorway. Immediately he was struck with the awful smell of waste. The scent surrounded him – suffocated him – until he was fighting against his gag reflex and the incredible urge to run in the opposite direction. He took one look at Obi-wan, could tell that there was no way of getting out of this, and set to work without another word.
After two hours and five life-threateningly disgusting toilets, the young padawan, more exhausted than if he'd been sparring with his master, finally allowed himself to sit down on an upturned bucket. They had scrubbed the walls, mopped the floors, and sanitized everything from door knobs to toilet paper rolls. He felt like dying.
"Well, that was productive," said Obi-wan cheerfully. He turned to his padawan and received a glare of pure venom.
"My arms are practically dead, I smell like crap, the front of my pants are soaked, making it look like – " he sighed vehemently. "And you think this was productive?"
"The bathroom is clean," Obi-wan offered.
Anakin had had enough. He raised himself up and started toward Obi-wan with frustration and anger, determined to do something, anything, to wipe the cheerful smile from his master's face. And then he tripped.
"Force Anakin!" Obi-wan shouted as Anakin bowled him over, landing on top of him on the hard – but clean – bathroom floor. "Get off of me!"
"Okay, geez," Anakin replied, eager to comply with this order. He was in the middle of heaving himself off of Obi-wan when Master Ki-Adi-Mundi walked in the room. The tall master's wrinkles were the last thing on Anakin's mind as he took one glance at the two Jedi on the floor and the wet mark spread across the front of Anakin's pants, then walked out of the room without saying a word.
"I think," said Obi-wan, breaking the rather uncomfortable silence, "that's a little too close for me."
"I cannot believe that just happened!" Anakin moaned, burying his face in his hands. Obi-wan remained silent. "Force, what he must be thinking! First he saw us hug at the Council meeting, then he saw me on top of you!
"Well, you should be happy then," Obi-wan said lightly. Anakin looked at him as though he had lost his mind. "Anakin, we have a bet. Have you forgotten that already? While only one Jedi does not make too much of an impact on the situation, and while I will certainly prove you wrong eventually, you still got Master Ki-Adi-Mundi to think that we are more than friends."
Anakin realized that his master was right. Sure, Ki-Adi-Mundi now thought that he slept with Obi-wan. That he and Obi-wan performed acts of a sexual nature in public restrooms. That Obi-wan was some kind of perverted old man. That the only reason Anakin would get anywhere was because he crawled into his master's bed at night. Sure, he probably thought all of those things now. But what did it matter, really? If he could win the bet….
Slowly, Anakin hitched on his trademark conniving smile and looked over at his master. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he said.
"Yes, yes, good for you," said Obi-wan, patting Anakin on the back. "Although, I personally wouldn't have jumped on top of my master in the bathroom to win a bet. You must be more attached to your hair than I previously thought."
"I didn't jump on you," Anakin corrected. "I fell on you, there's a big difference!"
"Sure you did," Obi-wan said with a grin. "While you were attempting to attack me, I might add. I don't know how many times I have to tell you to control your anger."
"Well, when you stop being annoying, I'll stop being angry," Anakin mumbled under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing…."
"Well, I suppose we should get going then," Obi-wan sighed, retrieving the cleaning supplies from the floor. "We can eat some lunch and then have the rest of the day free."
"Free? Really?" Anakin asked with genuine surprise. "We don't have to train, or spar, or meditate, or – "
"No. The Council understands how much time and effort we're taking to do this. We can relax for the remainder of the day and do all of those things tomorrow. Though I'm sure a good meditation would clear your head…."
"Great," Anakin grumbled unenthusiastically, "tomorrow."
The bar that Anakin had managed to find that night throbbed with music. He had told Obi-wan – well, he wasn't actually sure what he had told his master he was going out to do. All he knew was that he was here, and that he'd had a drink in his hand every minute of the time he'd spent on his stool.
He needed time away from the Temple, away from bathrooms and away from Obi-wan. He loved being a Jedi, but sometimes he just felt so confined. He'd had enough of that by the age of 10. Feeling quite like he had that morning, he took another drink.
A strangely familiar figure sat down on the stool beside him and began to engage him in conversation. Anakin spoke, his words slurred and his mind hazy. The face in front of him was the last thing he saw before he passed out.