Take Me Baby Or Leave Me

Author's Note: So the last chapter was pretty dramatic. Kind of humorous as well. If you couldn't tell I'm making this up as I go. I never have a plan for stuff it just happens. But the ride hasn't been too bad has it?

Harley bounced in the door some time the next morning. Selina was sitting at the table with Ivy discussing Ivy's night. Harley ran up and smiled.

"You'll never believe my night!" she exclaimed.

"That makes two of us," Ivy replied. "Harvey told me he loved me."

Harley smiled and squealed. "Eddie told me he loved me and guess what else! He asked me to move in!" she screamed.

"What?" Ivy and Selina asked at once.

"Yepperz! Eddie told me he loved me and then he asked me to move in. I'm so excited!"

"What did you tell him?" Selina asked.

"I told him I loved him too and I'd think about moving in but I don't have to think about it because I know that it's right. I'm going to move n with him and who knows? I might be married before the summer!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ivy growled. "You just broke up with your boyfriend of umpteen years and then you start dating Eddie for a couple of months and now your all in love and moving in? You need to think about this girl! You're just going back to square one!"

"That's your opinion," Harley replied.

"No girl, that's fact."

"I think it's pretty obvious I'm not like you. I'm human. I fall in love with men and I allow people to get close to me. I'm not a robot."

"No, you're an idiot!" Ivy replied.

"Yeah well you're an anal retentive! If this place was any cleaner it'd be in the Ripley's museum!" Harley shot back.

"You have such low self esteem you'd jump into bed with any man or woman who complimented you. I'm surprised you haven't jumped onstage at the strip club! Not only would you get hoots and hollers but you'd get some money too!" Ivy yelled.

Harley bit her lip and held back the tears.

"But you were always Joker's private stripper right? He said put on this costume and do this and you'd jump. Isn't that how it worked? He never even loved you. He probably had some girl on the side he cared for. You were just his puppet."

That hurt. Harley turned and ran to her room. She tossed her things into her suitcase and left.

"Ivy, that was a little harsh," Selina said.

"No, it was the truth. Something I put off telling her for a long time," Ivy replied.

"There are nicer ways of telling the truth."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What's the nice way of saying you're a pushy bitch?" Ivy asked.

"I may be a pushy bitch but you're just a bitch!" Selina replied.

"At least my man is faithful," Ivy said as she walked out of the kitchen.

"I don't know how you love her! She has a heart colder than Victor's!" Selina yelled.

Harvey sighed and held the phone away from his ear. He knew this would happen. Three women in one apartment, the peace couldn't last too long. "Selina calm down. She isn't that bad. You're just all at intense moments and it was too much. You're all riled up because you and Bruce split, Pammy's on edge because we're gonna take the next step, and Harley is getting ready to move on with Eddie and that scares Pammy because she thinks if we break up she'll be all alone."

"Do you have a secret degree in psychology?" Selina asked.

"Yeah, I keep it in the drawer next to my license to kill," Harvey replied sarcastically.

"You've been talking to Bruce!" Selina exclaimed.

"How the hell did you know that?" Harvey asked in shock.

"That's the kind of smart ass thing he'd say!" she replied.

"Look, Selina," but it was too late. She'd already hung up.

"So then she tells me I have low self esteem and blah blah blah!" Harley whined.

Eddie wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "She'll calm down some. Don't worry. She's just all upset because you're moving out."

"Yeah but she still shouldn't have said all those mean things," Harley cried.

"Oh, honey," he comforted.

"And Kittie didn't even stick up for me," she said as she jumped up. "She just sat there, not saying a word. I'm mad at her too!"

"And you should be!"

"She's mad at you too and frankly so am I," Eddie told Selina.

"Why are you mad at me?" she yelled through the phone.

"Because you didn't stand up for her!"

"Look, Ivy could have been a little nicer about it but what she said was basically true," Selina replied.

"Until you apologize we are not friends!" Eddie yelled as he snapped his phone closed.

"So then Selina turns on me and says I'm a bitch!" Ivy cried.

Harvey pinched the bridge of his nose. He had just heard this story and Selina got all upset with him and now Pammy was yelling. His head was killing him. "Look, you can be a bitch."

Ivy stopped pacing and put her hands on her hips, "Want to try that again?"

"I love you babe but you can be nasty and you were a bit nasty to Harley and then you snapped at Selina so she naturally snapped back. I'm not taking their side, I'm on your's, always, but still, would it hurt to apologize to Harley?"

"No, but, I can't right now."

"Why not?" Harvey asked.

"She probably won't even answer the phone. I'll just cool down for a couple of days and she can cool down and Selina can and then we can all apologize."

"And now I'm mad at Harvey for talking to Bruce and Eddie's all mad at me for yelling at Harley and since you're mad at Eddie for dating Harley I figured you'd be on my side," Selina explained. She was sitting at the bar next to Joker at the Iceberg.

Joker listened intently. He loved this. "I don't think it's your fault at all. Ivy yelled at Harley and you didn't want to add your two cents so you stayed out of it. And as for Harvey, how dare he talk to your ex, he's supposed to be your friend." Joker decided to leave out that he too called Bruce for help. Better to have Catwoman as a friend than an enemy.

"At least someone agrees with me," she sighed. Sure it was the Joker but hey, he was better than nothing.

Ivy walked into the Iceberg with Harvey. They were making their way to their table when Ivy spotted Selina at the bar next to Joker. "Well isn't this surprising?"

Selina looked up and faked a smile.

"Hello Itchy Ivy," Joker laughed.

"Quiet Jack," Twoface growled.

"Since when do you let your man fight for you?" Selina asked.

Ivy snorted. "At least I have someone to fight for me. You seem to drive men into the arms of other women."

"Hey! You can't talk to her like that!" Joker yelled as he jumped off his stool.

Selina was shocked.

"You two are a perfect match," Ivy replied sarcastically. She and Harvey walked away.

"Why did you do that?" Selina asked.

"Do what?"

"Defend me. I don't need your help."

"Really? You practically ran in here, plopped down next to me, and told me your side of the fight so you could have an ally," Joker retorted.

"Fair enough."

Harley and Eddie spotted Selina and Joker next.

"I can't believe you! I would never dream of dating Bruce!" Harley cried.

"Whoa! Who said I was dating him?" Selina asked outraged.

Harley started to cry and she ran to the bathroom. Joker hopped off his stool and followed her.

"Wait Pooh! Daddy's sorry!" he yelled.

Eddie stood there next to Selina.

"Eddie…" she began.

"I'm still mad at you," he replied. And with that he walked away and sat at his usual table.

Selina heard screams from the lady's room and then she saw Joker being tossed out. He walked back to the bar, shoulders slumped, with a red hand print on his face.

"Some ally."

"Oh hush you," he snapped.