AN: Hey guys, I know this is really late, but I've been having writer's block. Too much lack of inspiration in life. --; I need to find myself a boyfriend. LOL! Anyways, here it is!! Don't forget to review!
Chapter Eight
Pain
"She won't be able to play again."
"Did you hear?"
"They said her whole arm was crushed."
"What happened?"
"Yea. What happened?"
Funny how fast words travelled around the school. A couple of weeks ago, Shinn would have strolled down the hallways and nobody would have recognized him, now it was hard for him to go anywhere without hearing the whispers of his fellow classmates. It's been two weeks since the incident. Ayame had been monitored closely for a period of time, and was then moved to intensive care. Although her wounds were healing nicely, she still hasn't regained consciousness since the day of the accident.
Though Shinn had been trying to keep a low profile, from time to time, some of the boys from school would still cause problems for him. To them, he was still dating the famous Ayame Kashino. Little did they know; he hadn't seen her since the night of the ambulance. His friends were beginning to speculate, although none approached, he was sure that Lunamaria would spill sooner or later.
Speaking of Lunamaria, he had been avoiding her. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her; he just wasn't exactly sure how to communicate with her after all that's happened. And to top it off, the guilt was getting to him. He hurt two girls. He kept telling himself that the Kashino family was getting what they deserved. For a while it worked, until he thought back to the bloody shirt in his laundry room, still untouched, and unwashed. It served as a reminder to him every time he entered that room.
They were her blood.
He didn't mean for it to happen.
He loved her.
After all that's happened, he was finally able to admit that he fell head over heels for her. Their love, however, was forbidden. Even if Shinn could bring himself to love her, every time he thought back to the family that had passed away because of what her parents did, he would immediately restrain himself. How long would their love survive? A year? Maybe two? At one point or another, he would regret his decision; only then it would be harder to break it off with her. Because he would have sunk too deep under her spell, and would eventually come to hate her for all that she was.
Still, he didn't mean for it to happen.
He loved her too much.
He sat there for the longest time that morning, appearing calm and collected. It was all an act. His father had taught him well. In the world of business, emotions only got in the way of judgement. Yet the issue in front of him wasn't related to pure judgement alone. Why he hasn't visited the girl since he went aboard to America was still a mystery to everyone, maybe even to himself. All he knew was that he hated this place, couldn't stand the left over memories that were threatening to resurface. Surely he would go insane if he were to stay there any longer.
Hotoshi Kashino watched his sister's lifeless form. His hands rested on her heavily bandaged arm. He believed he made the right decision. The surgery was necessary to save her life, though it meant that she would never be able to play the piano again.
He frowned. He was almost certain that something like this would happen, yet he was too scared, too selfish to prevent it from occurring. He was certain that this was the likes of that man. So naturally, it didn't came shock when Nicol told him what happened. Getting what that man wanted by using a boy, however, was beyond Hotoshi's imagination. He glanced down at his sister. She never mentioned the boy.
"When did you stop talking to me?" He wondered out loud.
"Hotoshi-san." He looked up and watched as his secretary waltzed into the room. They'd cancelled every major meeting of that month. Surely, it would cause a big set back in his assets, but it was a worthy price for his ignorance of his family. "I brought you the file."
Hotoshi extended his hand in acceptance for the Shinn Asuka's history records. For a moment, he paused in wonder. Did he really want to know who he was? From what he heard, Shinn Asuka was a nobody; he was only someone who settled in her world because of a mere scholarship. Yet this thing, this imperfect human, was enough to shatter their world. He set the file aside; he would look at it, later perhaps.
All was silent except for the soft clicking of the heels of his secretary as she made her way down the hall once again. Another knock at the door caught his attention. Hotoshi looked up, and found, to his surprise, a face he was all too familiar with. Athrun entered with a dozen roses in his hands. Hotoshi looked up into Athrun's handsome features. He still couldn't understand the reason behind the break up. His sister was a sensible person. So why? Why would she choose Shinn over Athrun?
"Good afternoon, Athrun-kun." He greeted. The older boy's eyes travelled from his sister's body to the ex-boyfriend, who now entered the room. He frowned. It was part of this man's fault.
"Good afternoon." Athrun took a long look at the man, observing him carefully. "Hotoshi-nii-san."
They sat staring at each other for the whole afternoon, each unable to find the right words to say to one and another. Lunamaria was angry with herself, angry that she wasn't able to see the truth behind it all before things went out of hand. She felt at fault for Ayame's injuries. Rei sat across from her, wondering if he should question away. Luna was on the couch that night when he came home, poorly dressed. Though he already guessed what happened, he wanted to find out for certain.
"Luna-"
"I slept with Shinn." Lunamaria blurted out. She couldn't take it any longer.
They stayed up all night that night. When Shinn returned that morning, drenched in blood and looking pale, they assumed that something had happened, yet was too afraid to ask him, for he looked like he killed someone. Shinn locked himself up in his room that day, and they waited silently by his side, until he was ready to reveal the situation.
He never spoke.
He refused to speak on the matter. They found out what happened in school the next day, and Lunamaria had been feeling like shit ever since. It was their fault. She saw her there that night, his girlfriend. And then, she understood. When they made love that night, it was simply a show for her. Shinn wanted to hurt her, wanted to make her run, wanted to end it all. What she couldn't understand was why? Shinn went through so much trouble just to be with her, he even gave up his education for her, so why? Why was he giving up on her now?
"I loved him. Always have." Lunamaria spoke slowly. "We were the best of friends, but then she showed up, and everything changed." Tears began to slide down her face. "I guess you never know how important someone is to you, until you loose them, huh?"
"Luna…" Rey trailed off. For the first time in his life, he was out of things to say.
"But he loves her. I saw it in his eyes that night." She smiled sadly, still with tears sliding uncontrollability from her face. "You know, some people live their whole lives without knowing the meaning of love." She paused, a sad smile formed on her lips. "I'm satisfied. Even if my love was never returned, I'm satisfied knowing that I've experienced love, and am capable of loving another. I just wish…that he saw me instead."
And without knowing what he was doing, Rey reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Stupid girl." He too, began to cry.
They crossed path by some freak accident that same afternoon, and stopped dead in their tracks. Shinn hadn't gotten the chance to properly look at the boy when Nicol launched at him with a punch straight to the jaws that sent him tumbling back, wiping blood from the corner of his lips moments later. Still, Shinn didn't look at the boy, knowing fully well he received what he deserved. He tried to move forward. Again, Nicol took a hold of him, yet this time; it wasn't to punish him for the accident, but to stop him before he gets away. He grabbed a hold of the collar of Shinn's school uniform and pinned him to the wall.
"Why haven't you gone to see her?" Nicol demanded.
Shinn was silent. Then, all of a sudden, he threw Nicol's hands. He wanted nothing more to do with these rich brats. "Fuck off! I don't need you to question what I did or didn't do."
Nicol was stunned. He couldn't believe his ears. It was as though all the innocence he once saw in the ruby-eyed boy was washed away, and standing there before him was nothing but a hallowed body, of what used to be the boy he trusted. In another moment, Shinn had began to walk, wanting to get away from that place as soon as possible, wanting not to remember what had happened that night, and, wanting to get away from the memories of her.
"She's dieing…" Nicol trailed off, watching for any hence of reaction on Shinn's face. There was an odd little twitch on the corner of Shinn's lips. If Nicol hadn't been observing the boy carefully, he might have missed it. "They said she might not wake up from the coma. You should see her, while you still can."
Shinn said nothing. He couldn't find his voice. His mind was a mess. He continued to walk aimlessly, his shoulder brushed against Nicol's as he left. He wanted to get away, needed to get away. Yet no matter how hard he tried to forget, Nicol's voice haunted him. Shinn felt like he was going to cave any moment. He couldn't go see her. She was the enemy. But if that were really the truth, then how come it felt like he was lying to himself?
He skipped class for the rest of the day, unable to concentrate. The guilt was haunting him. His mind was a raging mess. He hid himself on the third floor music room, where he could think clearly without any disturbance. He thought about her, all he was able to think was about her. She was pale and bleeding bad when he left her. He didn't wait around for the results of the surgery. The scene reminded him too much of when his family passed away. It was the same; she was going to leave him the same way.
"How is your father? Athrun-kun?" The older boy asked; his manner was business like.
Athrun hesitated for a moment, wondering what the Kashino had up his sleeves. "Fine. Thank you."
Hotoshi Kashino was unlike his sister in so many ways, yet similar in many others. Ayame was free, free to live her life the way she wanted; yet she was trapped in the horrors of her past. Hotoshi had long forgotten his past, and buried himself in his work.
One thing about Hotoshi that Athrun learned over the years was that the first born of the Kashino family does not ask needless questions. For a moment, there was silence. Neither spoke. Athrun stared down at his coffee. He felt Hotoshi's gaze burn into the top of his head.
"How did you two break up?" The question came, as expected.
Again, Athrun hesitated. He had been asking himself the same question. He chose his words carefully. "I guess we weren't right for each other."
Hotoshi faked an amused chuckle. "You are the son of the Zala Empire. She is the daughter of the Kashino throne. Trust me, you are right for each other." Hotoshi took a sip of his coffee. He glanced over the top of his cup and saw Athrun frowning. "Or did you think Attha-san was more…how should I put it? Your type?"
Athrun's gip on his coffee mug tightened. Hotoshi was taunting him. He knew his father would never approve, which was the very reason why Athrun gave up on their relationship in the first place. They weren't right for each other from a family perspective, for the Zalas and Atthas had been fierce business competitors since the beginning. Allowing Athrun to befriend the son of the Attha Corp was already pushing Patrick Zala's buttons; surely a relationship would throw him over the edge.
"No. That's not-"
Hotoshi ignored him. "I fully intend to keep my promise to your father about taking you to New York to study, you know that, right Athrun-kun?"
Athrun shifted his gaze from Hotoshi's face down to the coffee in his hands. Once again, his fate was decided for him His grip on the coffee mug was so tight; his knuckles had turned white. "Hai, Hotoshi-nii-san."
"Of course." Hotoshi smiled half-heartedly. "I'm also ready to overlook some things, if necessary."
The room was pitch black. It felt as though all the colour and emotions had been sucked out of this dimension. Though her eyes were open, she was still unable to see herself. She couldn't understand what had happened to her, couldn't feel anything ahead. All she could feel was the throbbing pain that shot through her body.
How long had she been there?
It was like sitting in an invisible jail, yet she was out in the opening, alone and free. Suddenly, he appeared in her world, the boy with the emerald eyes. He seemed so familiar, yet she was unable to match him up with a name. He extended a pale hand, his blue hair drifted in the wind. His smile was so calm and inviting, it was as though he wanted her to follow him out of this dreadful place. She looked from him, to the hand that was extended to her, then back at him again. She was so tempted to go, to leave with him, to get away from this void forever. Yet something told her that if she were to leave with him, then she would never be able to return.
"Come Ayame."
What was his name? She couldn't remember the boy's name. He continued to smile, as if he'd known her all his life. She wanted to follow, needed to follow. She needed to get away from this place. The pain was almost unbearable. Every inch of her body ached with sorrow; she wanted to leave this dreadful world.
"Don't go."
Suddenly, there was another voice. She turned to look, yet found no one. He sounded sincere, as if he didn't want her to leave him. And although she was tempted to go, she couldn't. He needed her, just like she needed him.
Nobody was around when he entered the hospital room. It was his chance. He didn't want anybody to know he was there. He had argued with himself long enough to know he can't win. So he came to see the enemy. He had every possible reason to hate her, to want to punish her for the things her family did. She was the reason why he was alone in this world. Yet no matter how hard he forced himself to think that way, he couldn't help but admit that she was the reason that he was no longer lonely.
Shinn's eyes softened at the sight of her. She was sleeping so peacefully. She didn't look injured at all, yet felt his stomach doing flip-flops when he saw her arm. Ayame loved the piano, she was talented, and now, she was stripped of the right to make music. And it was his fault; he knew it was his fault. In doing what he did, he had signed her death sentence.
He sat down by her side. "I can't forgive your family for what they did." He said slowly. "I can't forgive you for what you did either." He lowered himself towards her, taking in her facial features, wanting to remember every inch of her. "Your family stole my parents' lives." And without knowing it, tears began to slide down his face. "You can't leave until your debt is repaid." He lowered his face. His nose was touching hers now. His tears trailed from his jaws and slid down to her cheeks. "Don't go…" His voice sounded strained, as if he was struggling to get the words out, words he thought he would never say to her.
Perhaps it was god's miracle, or perhaps he had too much tragedy in life, it was due time to balance it out. But when he reopened his eyes once again, he found another pair staring straight up at him, looking as confused as ever. Shinn pulled back, dumb founded. He didn't know what to say or how to react, all he knew was that he was glad, glad that she was alive. It was as though his body had a mind of its own, and before he knew what he was doing, he reached down, and pulled her into a hug.
"Who…are you?" He heard her soft words. His eyes widened.
And just like that, his miracle was once again, diminished.
AN: Ok...I think next chapter is going to be the last chapter! Yay!! Aren't you guys glad that it's finally over?? You won't have to deal with my inability to update any longer!!