Disclaimer: I do not own "Transformers" in any way, shape, or form. They are the property of Hasbro, Michael Bay, and all the other masters of the craft. I am just a humble college student and make no money from this.

The Moonlessnight:Blame my little brother for this one. He came through and changed the channel on me last night while I was lying half asleep on the recliner. This is the result as it crept into my dreams. Only a few changes have been made to preserve continuity in the story. I apologize in advance for the spattering of curse words. Captain Lennox is in a foul mood today. So, batten down the hatches and dive on in. Enjoy.

Frankenstein

Bumblebee sped his way down the road, audio receptors still ringing from the verbal thrashing they had received upon the awakening of the sleeping military captain. Even now, the man continued to grumble under his breath, shoulders tensing and shifting as he pounded a closed fist into the palm of his hand. "-and the next time you decide to play of game of ignore the human, you can explain things to Sarah! I just got leave from base, I've been home for all of four days, and I go MIA on her. I'll be lucky if she doesn't make me sleep on the couch tonight. Hell. I'll be lucky if I don't find my things sitting outside the door when we get there."

William Lennox shifted his weight, bringing his fist down onto the seat with such force that Bumblebee gave a soft rev of protest. His radio crackled briefly before settling on a rough sounding tune that portrayed his frustration perfectly. He regretted the choice when a split second later, Lennox's foot came crashing down on his dashboard. "You drive through my neighborhood playing that kind of crap and Sarah will kick me without a second thought," the captain's voice dripped fury and a hint of fear. The music faded to static and the radio snapped off with a sharp hiss. There was silence as the Camaro rolled to a stop on the dark, deserted road leaving Will caught between anger and confusion. He had not hurt Bumblebee, had he?

The thought was fleeting as Bumblebee's voice rasped over the speakers, "Go home in a foul mood like this, and I won't let you out because you will be kicked out." Bee felt the tension seep from the human's shoulders and sighed, settling in on his wheels. "Do you feel better now?" A pause filled with the shifting-sensation of Captain Lennox nodding. "Good. Now, don't go hitting me again. Sam will be furious if you scuff up my interior."

Will settled into the seat as the Camaro began moving again, perching his hands on the steering wheel with an apologetic pat. "Sorry about that, Bumblebee. You know us military types, short on the fuse and long on the lectures."

The engine revved in a rumble of acknowledgement. "You are worried. No need to apologize."

An uncomfortable quiet descended, with Lennox falling into his own musings and Bumblebee afraid to switch on the radio lest he rile the human's temper. The silence lasted for a few long minutes before the captain shifted with a sigh. "Something is bugging me, Bumblebee," he stated.

Bee shifted on his wheels in a shrug, "Sarah will open the door, and don't you worry about that."

Will chuckled, a deep resonating sound, and patted the wheel again. "It's not that, Bumblebee. It's not that at all."

Processor firing a few random pulses, Bumblebee radiated the 'huh?' look with his silence. Sometimes, human emotions took turns that even the best of the Autobots could not predict and this was a prime example. "If it is Ironhide that you are worried about, he's fine and-."

Captain Lennox shook his head with a smile, "It just hit me that I don't know how Sam explained you to his father. He left home with a beat up 1964 Camaro and came home with a brand new 2009 Camaro. I imagine it took some creative story-telling to explain that without compromising your cover." The laughter died as Bumblebee slammed on the breaks, seatbelt going tight against Lennox's abdomen for a few seconds before quickly loosening. "What the hell?"

The engine idled for a moment before Bumblebee answered, his voice pitched low. "He blamed it all on Doctor Frankenstein."

Blinking in confusion as the car started moving again, Lennox cocked an eyebrow. "Sam blamed the switch on a fictional character?"

Bumblebee shook with what Lennox perceived as a shudder. "Oh, he's real all right and Sam used him as a scapegoat."

William Lennox balked, the image of a wild-haired scientist and lightning bolts running through his head. When he pictured said scientist offering a teenage boy a shining new yellow Camaro, the image shattered. "There is no way Sam's folks believed that one, not in a million years."

"Sam's mother was skeptical, but his father took it well. He even gave Sam a…what did Sam call it…a 'high five'. He said Sam was one lucky kid and asked if he could take me around the block a couple of times."

Lennox dropped his head back against the seat and dragged a hand over his face. Just how gullible were that kid's parents? They probably believed Elvis was alive and living in a secret moon base if they swallowed that bit about Doctor Frankenstein. Lord help them if they ever found out about the Autobots. There would be no convincing them they were anything but aliens. Sensing the tension seeping back into Lennox's shoulders, Bumblebee continued his explanation in more detail. "Sam put a lot of thought into his explanation, Captain Lennox. He tried several different scenarios before settling on the Frankenstein approach."

Barking a laugh, Lennox let his hands drop to the seat. "Like what? The Blue Fairy waved her magic wand and, poof, he had a new car?"

"No," the reply came so quick that Lennox feared another sudden stop. None came. "One theory involved the government giving him a new car for damage done to the 'impounded' vehicle." Captain Lennox opened his mouth to say just how plausible that was when Bumblebee continued. "His mother never would have accepted it. The government didn't cover her roses or any other damage to her home, so shy would they give Sam a nice new car? So, that excuse was rejected.

"Next up was the mechanic scenario. He planned to tell his parents that he had taken his old car to a mechanic to have it repaired and that said mechanic had a love of classic cars. In that scenario, the mechanic made a trade with Sam. The 1964 Camaro for a new car he had just gotten." Lennox nodded at yet another logical set-up, wondering just why this one was rejected. "Sam only works part-time, so he doesn't have the money to pay a mechanic in the first place. His father would be suspicious, so the mechanic plan was scrapped.

"The third and final plan," Bumblebee continued with another shudder, "is where Doctor Frankenstein comes in."

Lennox leaned forward in his seat like a kid listening to a ghost story. "And just how was that, Bumblebee?"

"From California via MTV," was the answer. "Frankenstein has a show on television where he does custom work on cars of all makes and types. Sam watches it every week with his father. It is…disturbing to say the least."

Confusion clouded Will's features for a moment before he remembered a late night show called "Pimp My Ride". He had stumbled across it once himself a few nights ago while rocking a fussy baby Anabelle to sleep. Nearly doubled up with laughter as he realized the truth, Lennox gasped through watery eyes, "The man's name isn't Doctor Frankenstein, Bumblebee. It's Xhibit."

Images of half dismantled cars, welding torches, and other instruments of automotive mayhem flashing through his processor, Bumblebee shuddered again. "No. He is a torch wielding, slag-happy pit demon. He took a fragging truck apart in under an hour. Like I said, the man is Doctor Frankenstein."

The rest of the ride to the Lennox residence was filled with laughter and friendly jabs on Lennox's part, all of which Bumblebee took in stride. He could not blame the human for not understanding his disgust and, after all, Jazz would have loved Frankenstein's show.

The Moonlessnight: Yeah…. Don't kill me. This is madness. I swear! – sheepish smile – Well, I did say it would get funny again, didn't I? See you next chapter.

Edit Note: Fixed the year for Bumblebee's alt form. Sorry for the confusion. I know nothing of cars beyond fuel, oil, and changing a tire. Changed the Lennox baby's name, too.

Edit the second: By Primus! Why didn't someone tell me I had misspelled "Camaro"? I have no beta-reader guys, so if anyone spots those little spelling errors in any of my texts, let me know so I can fix them. Thanks. --wanders of to look for more things to fix--