The Ironic Things in Life

Disclaimer:We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz...and I don't own the Wizard of Oz song either!

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Squall Leonhart's face was covered in a half bemused smile as he stared at all the photos littered across his bed.

Zell was doing a great job.

-----

Three young women and a young man all sat bunched around together, as one of the women sobbed loudly.

"Hush, Rin…" Quistis Trepe comforted.

"I was such an idiot! I…I…" Rinoa Heartilly bawled.

"Forget about him, Rin! Who likes blondes anyway?" Rinoa's energetic friend, Selphie Tilmitt pointed out.

Quistis shot Selphie a deadly look.

"I happen to be blonde Selphie, if you hadn't noticed."

Selphie looked at Quistis as if really seeing her for the first time.

"You're right! You are!"

Selphie clasped her hands together and went back to comforting Rinoa, as Quistis rolled her eyes and glanced over at Zell.

"And Zell is too…Zell, you're awfully quiet. Is something the matter?"

Zell's head shot up as if he'd been stung, and shook his head vigorously.

"F-fine…."he mumbled.

Another wail from Rinoa caused Quistis to turn back to her upset friend.

"Rinoa, it was probably for the best. He seemed a bit arrogant anyway," Quistis said.

"And any guy who doesn't like our Rinny is a major dunderhead!" Selphie chimed in.

Rinoa smiled and let Quistis and Selphie pull her into a hug.

'It probably was for the best,' she thought.

-----

Seifer dropped down on the couch opposite Squall and propped his feet up on the coffee table, a smirk playing on his lips.

Squall didn't respond to the accompaniment of his friend, and merely continued to stare at the carpeted floor, deep in thought.

"Hey Squall, do you remember a guy named Zell we used to go to Balamb Garden with…?"

Squall snapped his head up and met Seifer's bottle green eyes. He quickly looked back down at the floor.

"…"

Seifer smiled slyly. Even though Squall hadn't said anything, he knew that he was catching onto something big.

"Hmm…I wonder whatever happened to him after we graduated. You two were pretty good friends and I remember he was very fond of investigating…"

"…"

"You know, it'd be completely easy to recognise him. I mean, how many guys have we met in our lifetime that have spiky blonde hair and a tattoo down the side of their face…?"

"…"

"So, what do you think happened when I met Rinoa's new flatmate …?"

Squall abruptly stood up and headed towards his room, feeling uneasy about Seifer's line of questioning. However, Seifer had reached the entrance of Squall's room before Squall could do so, and stood there with a nasty grin on his face.

"Get out of my way..." Squall muttered.

Seifer ignored Squall's remark, and smugly folded his arms across his chest.

"And you won't believe it! He looked exactly like chicken wuss and his name was even Zell! What a coincidence, don't you think?"

Squall avoided Seifer's piercing eyes for as long as he could, and then glanced up.

"What are you trying to imply, Seifer?"

Seifer sneered and leaned closer.

"What am I supposed to imply?"

"…"

"And you know, the strangest thing was that Zell had been living in the same apartment as Rinoa for 5 weeks….hmm… isn't that strange now…?"

"What are you saying, Seifer?" Squall demanded.

Seifer pushed a finger into Squall's chest, avoiding all pretence.

"You planted Zell there so he could spy on Rinoa, didn't you?"

Squall threw Seifer an icy glare.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Seifer shoved Squall so hard that Squall actually stumbled backwards.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Zell's working for you! But why you'd want to spy on Rinoa…"

Seifer's eyes widened as realisation hit him.

"I don't believe this..." he whispered, as Squall straightened himself up only to be pushed by Seifer again.

"What the hell is your problem?" Squall yelled.

"I can't believe you! You're spying on Rinoa so that you could…oh my god! The party…the accident! It was all planned! It was YOU!"

Seifer pointed a finger at his best friend, not believing what he was discovering by Squall's silence.

Seifer walked around in a circle, holding his head.

"Why couldn't I see it? Why was I so blind! You planned EVERYTHING! You've been toying with Rinoa!"

Squall looked away from the angry young man pacing in front of him.

Seifer stopped and turned on Squall again, completely livid.

"You're exactly like Laguna! This is what he did and it was the death of her!"

Seifer grabbed Squall by the collar of his leather jacket and shook him furiously. Squall wrenched Seifer's hand off him and stood back, glaring at him.

"That's it, Seifer! You're fired! Go live somewhere else! I don't care!"

Seifer took a breath and let it out.

"You know what? Save it, Squall."

Seifer marched into his room and grabbed a suitcase, throwing in it everything he could get his hands onto. Minutes later he stormed out of his room and confronted Squall again.

"Well, I guess this is it and since I no longer work for you, here's a good bye present…"

Seifer raised his fist and punched Squall hard against the bridge of the nose. Squall tumbled backwards as he felt the impact of the attack hit him.

"That was for cheating off my gunblade assignment at school."

With that, Seifer walked out.

-----

Squall retrieved the envelope full of photos from his room and sat down on the couch with them. If Seifer had found out about this, he probably would've lost it completely.

Squall pulled out the only note that was amongst the photos and read it again, thoughtfully. It was a big problem, but what could he do to help? He couldn't just sit still. He had to do something.

Deciding that he was doing the right thing, Squall reached towards the phone.

"Estharian Presidential Residence, how may I help you?"

"Hey, it's Squall. Get me Kiros Seagill on the phone."

"Wouldn't you like to talk to your father, Squall?"

"God damnit, Xu! Are you deaf?"

"Ok, ok just a second."

An instrumental version of 'Eyes on me' played as Squall waited for Kiros to answer his private phone.

"Kiros Seagill."

"Kiros, I need your help."

Over in Esthar, Kiros wished he really had gone on vacation rather than help Squall.

-----

Irvine stared at Squall, completely gob smacked.

"You kicked Seifer out…?"

Squall nodded.

Irvine watched as Squall straightened up the bandage smacked across his nose. He bet anything that Seifer had done that to Squall.

"W-why?"

Squall glanced up lazily at the indigo eyed man towering over him.

"He was asking for it."

Irvine sighed and leaned against the wall. Seifer really got on his nerves but he didn't hate him. And Squall wasn't a guy who you could really provoke. Then how had Seifer gotten himself fired…?

Irvine looked over at Squall again.

"Where do you think he went?"

Squall shrugged.

Irvine wondered if Seifer had gone to stay at a friend's place.

'I could run a background check on him and find out if he's got any friends in Galbadia. I have to find out why Squall kicked him out.'

"Squall, I'm going out for a while. I've got some stuff to do. And don't forget that the premiere of your movie is coming up soon and you need a date."

Irvine walked out of the apartment, leaving Squall in silence.

"Damn," he muttered after a while.

-----

Irvine fiddled with his cell phone and finally found the number for Esthar's Presidential Residence. He quickly pressed the phone against his ear and waited for someone to pick up.

"Estharian Presidential Residence, how may I help you?"

"Xu, it's Irvine. I need your help."

"Look at who's too busy to take me out on a date but isn't too busy to ask for help."

"Xu, I only met you like once when you came here with Laguna! And I never came to Esthar."

"I'm sure you could've made time, cowboy."

Irvine groaned inwardly and clicked his fingers in agitation.

"I promise if you help me, I'll take you out on a date if I ever come to Esthar."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes! I'm sure!' Irvine cried, causing passer bys to jump out of his way.

"No need to shout, cowboy. So tell me what you want me to do."

"I need you to fine out if Seifer Almasy has any friends in Esthar."

"Seifer Almasy? But…"

"Yes, Seifer Almasy! Hurry it up, Xu. It's urgent!"

"Now, I like a man who knows what he…"

"God damnit, Xu! Are you deaf?" Irvine cried.

-----

Rinoa sat in front of the TV with a tub of chocolate chip ice cream watching 'Terry Shrink'. Her depression over Seifer had almost left her and she was feeling a lot better.

Selphie had gone out early in the morning to do some shopping, and Quistis was at work. Zell was the only one left at home with her. If Rinoa had only known why Zell had really moved in with them, she would've jumped up in fear at the sight of him carrying a butcher knife towards her. Instead, she carelessly glanced towards him.

"What are you doing, Zell?"

"Just going to cut the lamb chops," he said, heading towards the kitchen.

Rinoa got up and followed him, realising that it had been a long time since she had talked to Zell own her own.

As Zell sat down on the kitchen table and started chopping up the meat, Rinoa scrambled up onto the kitchen counter and watched him.

"Are you ok about the Seifer thing?" Zell broke the silence.

Rinoa swung her feet and nodded.

"I guess he wasn't the right guy for me."

"Yeah, he's an arrogant jerk," Zell accidentally said out loud.

Rinoa chuckled and tucked her black hair behind her ear.

"You sound like you know him very well," she teased.

"That's the unfortunate part of it."

Rinoa stared at him.

"You mean, you really do know him?"

"We used to go to school together"

"Then that must mean you know Squall too."

Zell looked at her in alarm, fearing that he had been caught out.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Oh, it's just that Seifer told me that he went to the same school as Squall. Then he turned out to be Squall's best friend. I hope the same doesn't go for you too," Rinoa said with a laugh.

Zell's face turned a dark shade of red, and he hurriedly looked away from Rinoa and resumed chopping up the lamb chops.

"I don't remember a Squall from school. Guess I was lucky," Zell lied.

Rinoa nodded and scratched her nail polish off.

"I won't accept it," she said softly.

"Accept what?"

"If he ever apologises, I won't accept it."

"How come?"

"Because I hate him with every grain in my body."

Zell remained silent, not really knowing what to say. Rinoa smiled at him.

"You know Zell, you're the best friend a girl could ever ask for."

Zell fumbled around with the butcher knife and was just about to confess to his crimes when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Rinoa said, jumping off the counter and hurrying towards the front door.

"Did Selphie forget her keys again?" Rinoa called back to Zell.

"Dunno!"

Rinoa fiddled with the lock on the door and opened it up. Standing in front of her were too very familiar men.

"Why, look at little miss Rinoa," one of the men said with a grin.

Rinoa's jaw dropped open.

A/N: I hope this doesn't count as a late update. Sometimes I don't feel like getting around to the story because I don't think I have enough material for a suitable chapter. Before I write, I like to picture all the scenes in my head and make sure that certain things don't come out sounding strange from the characters. I also had my boyfriend type up this chapter, so it took longer than usual. I hope you all had a great Christmas. I got the Green Day album 'American idiot' so I'm listening to it as I type this bit up. Thanks for your awesome reviews, and I hope a lot more of you start reviewing. :)

Cerulean Crystal: Nope, for your sake Seifer and Irvine decided not to turn gay. Yeah, I thought Seifer was long overdue for a good ass kicking. Sorry I forgot to hint what Rinoa's letter's about. It just didn't seem to fit in at the time that I was writing it out, but in the upcoming chapters there'll be hints on it.

Verdanii: Thanks for telling me Seifer's eye colour. I'd really forgotten what colour they were.And I'm sure Seiferbooboo loves you too-too. :)

Sense of Life: Yes, poor Squally, indeed! Stranger things are about to happen.

Windsiren: I love you too! Don't worry, I'll keep on writing. I'm glad you're finding the story funny and that watching Seifer getting beaten up was to your liking. Maybe Zellie is a pervert...who knows...? More on Squall and Rinoa's letters in the upcoming chapters. :)

Cheerioaddict13: Glad you find it so hilarious. Yeah, I kinda feel sorry for Rinoa too. Poor thing...

foxy: Updates are on their way!

SilverRe: Thanks! I'll try to update a but faster. :)

Rez: Exactly! The mystery is killing me too:P

Luis: Squall will probably apologise in a good old fashioned Squall way...but it's really to see if Rinoa will accept the apology or not.

Thanks for reviewing, guys. You all made my day. Keep up the reviewing and I'll keep up the updating. Love you guys:)