Red vs Blue
Red vs Blue
Spending time at Sidewinder
Episode 1: What are we doing here?
(on top of the blue base) Manny: God I'm fucking freezing. Why don't they send us parkas or something? Instead I'm stuck here in this stupid MJOLNIR armor. No extra layers, no central heating. Instead I'm just freezing my ass off 24/7.
Bullor: Are you mental? This stuff is sate of the art! We can jump like 20 feet in the air! Dodge bullets! And you're bitchin about the cold?! We're like superhuman!
Manny: You're freezing too aren't you.
Bullor: Wha….. Yeah you're right. At least we're not stuck at blood gulch.
Manny: Yeah. You can fry an egg on on of these things if you're outside for more than a hour.
(scene switches to behind the red base on the cliff)
Jerry: (put the sniper rifle up to his eye) Alright I can see them.
George: Wait a second? What are we doing here spying on these guys? Why don't we jusst shoot them if we can see them? It's a fucking sniper rifle! Not your daddy's precious binoculars!
Jerry: I lost the bullets….
George: What?
Jerry: I lost the Goddamn bullets all right! Are you happy?
George: I don't even know why I come on these scouting missions with you. I would be a lot better off just sittin back at red base, sippin my tea under a blanket. If my tea is frozen when we get back your head will be my teacup.
Jerry: (looks away from the sniper rifle) Bitch.
George: What?!
Jerry: (Quickly looks back) Nothing.
George: No I think that you said something.
Jerry: No I didn't.
George: I'm pretty sure I heard you say something.
Jerry: It was the wind. Wind does some pretty weird stuff in caves (mimes wind blowing with his voice while saying "asshole") Wow listen to that! It's amazing what Mother Nature's works can do!
(bullets ping off the wall beside them.)
Jerry/George: Son of a Bitch!
Manny: (holding an battle rifle) Yeah suck it red!
Bullor: (holding a sniper rifle) You retard! I had the maroon one all lined up!
Manny: Heh heh you said maroon. It sounds like moron.
(Manny and Bullor start giggling)
(Jerry and George run back to their base through the caves screaming like little girls.)
(fade to black) Manny: Seriously though, do you think I could get a trade?
(We hear the sound of Bullor hitting Manny)
Manny: Ow! What the fuck was that for!
Bullor: Shut up asshole. You already screwed up the whole plan. Don't ruin my stay on planet cold ass.
Manny: But….
Bullor: (cutting off Manny) Sigh… too late.