This story is written partially out of spite and mean-spiritedness. Reader's discretion is advised.

Lincoln Goes to Hell

"Are you gonna fucking shoot him or not?" Blitzo asked, resting his bored face on his hand.

Moxxie was still a moment, holding a sniper rifle and looking through the magnifier, then answered, "Sir, are you sure this is the target?"

Blitzo groaned, "Oh come on Mox, height of a child, white hair in some fucking stupid turkey tail, orange clothes. This perfectly matches that old geezer we've been paid to kill."

"An' we get extra if we snipe him without him knowin' it!" Millie added, "Buuut you are taking quite a long time to get this done sweetie. Are you havin' a bad day? I can always do it if you don't feel up for it."

Blitzo rolled his eyes, "Shit, she probably would had it done five fucking times by now."

The rifle went off, the person Moxxie was aiming at got a bullet in the back of the head and collapsed to the ground dead. "I got him, sir." Moxxie remarked.

"Now that's what I fucking wanted!" Blitzo cheered.

Millie gave Moxxie a squeeze, "Nice shootin' hun!"

Moxxie giggled a bit.

Blitzo got out Stolas's grimoire, "You two can fuck when you get off the clock. Let's get back home." he opened a portal to Hell and the three went in.

...

Lincoln found himself walking now among clouds, a bit confused. The he saw the pearly golden gates with an ostentatious sign reading "WELCOME TO HEAVEN!" mounted along the top of it. Lincoln felt a calm and warmness as he walked towards the opening.

Then the large golden gates slammed in front of him, and a deer cherub poofed right in front of him, "Oooh yeah, yeah, sorry, no. You aren't allowed into Heaven Lincoln Loud."

"What?" Lincoln was taken aback.

"You have just died, and you don't get to go into Heaven." the deer gritted her teeth in an attempt to not laugh at the poor kid, "Yeah, sorry, no..."

She pointed at Lincoln's feet, he looked down to see a pit to Hell open up. The boy quickly grabbed onto one of the deer's legs, "But I thought all children got into Heaven!" he cried.

The deer started slapping the boy's arm, "All BAPTISED children, you have not been baptized. You have not repented for your sins, you haven't been to church, you barely even pray. Worst of all you lied to your family for a week straight about being bad luck. How did you live with yourself?"

Lincoln gripped harder, "How did I even die?"

Deerie shrugged, "Oh, you were killed by imps from Hell. Nasty things."

"Why didn't you stop them?" the boy asked.

"Oh, I don't do much aside from condemn good Christians for internet clout."

The jerk deer smacked Lincoln away and down into the abyss he went.

ONE WEEK LATER

Loona was playing on her phone while lazily glancing at the small TV on her desk. The TV screen started to flash and a news jingle played. "Hell News Bulletin. A new six foot tall, long-eared, white demon is rampaging the surface circle and taking out imps, as well as any idiot trying to defend them. When reached for comment, he told us he was "looking for imps" and told us to fuck off. This new demon has been given the name 'The White Rabbit', and we advise anyone with imps to just let him kill them. You could always get more. This exposition brought to you by Imp-Mart!"

Loona rolled her eyes, "Who comes up with this junk?"

Suddenly, the door to I.M.P. was kicked open. Lincoln - now taller, meaner and more rabbit-y - burst in with a shotgun in his hands. He walked over to Loona with a scowl on his face, "Where are the imps?" he asked.

Loona looked up at Lincoln, then looked back at her phone, "Meeting room. I want no part in this."

"Thank you." Lincoln walked down the hall.

In the meeting room, Blitzo was rubbing his forehead, "I still can't believe you shot a fucking kid last week, Moxxie. What a waste of a bullet."

"YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT!" Moxxie yelled at him.

Mille took hold of Moxxie's arm and rubbed it gently, "Calm down honey, we're all at fault here with this situation. We didn't get paid, that old man ended up going into hiding, and we lost a client. But at least we still have each other!"

The meeting room door was kicked open and Lincoln walked in, shotgun cocked, "Finally found you! Which one of you killed me?"

Blitzo looked Lincoln up and down, then pointed to his employees, "Yeah, it was all Moxxie. I had fuck all to do with it."

Lincoln readied his shotgun at Moxxie, and Millie jumped in front of the barrel on the meeting room table, with a knife out. "You'll have to get through me first!" she cried out.

The shotgun went off, and blasted Millie off the table, and out of the building through the window. Soon enough a loud crash was heard outside and a car siren went off. Blood had gotten all over Lincoln's shotgun as well as his fur.

"MILLIE! OH MY GOD!" Moxxie cried out as he went to the window.

"You're next." Lincoln remarked as he discharged the current shell casing and loaded up the next shell.

Moxxie turned around, angry, "You shot my wife, you bastard! All over an accident caused by my asshole boss!"

The barrel of the shotgun went into Moxxie's mouth, and Lincoln cocked the shell into place. Blitzo watched with a bag of popcorn.

"Shut it." Lincoln pulled the trigger and Moxxie's head exploded into giblets. Lincoln let out a heavy breath and shoved Moxxie's collapsing body off of his gun.

Blitzo nearly choked on his popcorn, "Holy fuck, you killed my employees! Do you want a job?"

Lincoln glared at him and cocked his shotgun.

"I can see you're the ambitious type! How about a partnership?"

Lincoln paused for a moment, and aimed the gun at Blitzo, "Keep talking..."

...

Later, Lincoln and Blitzo walked out of the meeting room to the reception desk where Loona still sat. "Loona dear, meet our new boss, Lincoln! AKA, The White Rabbit!"

Loona didn't bother looking up from her phone, "Yeah, we've met."

Lincoln sighed, "I asked you not to call me that stupid nickname. Now, you said you could get me home anytime I wanted?"

Blitzo nodded with a goofy grin, "You bet your bunny ass! But first we should reanimate those two employees to clean up the mess they made."

"Huh, you can reanimate them?"

"Why not? I can make portals, and this is Hell. They were lucky they weren't blown to bits on Earth or we wouldn't be able to."

"Can I shoot the mouthy one again if he gets on my nerves?"

"Of course, boss!"

THE END...?

Well, I'm very sure I followed this site's guidelines. I really enjoyed making this, even though I made this initially to spite a troll who tried to threaten me to write a crossover with Loud House x Helluva Boss the way they wanted me to.

Not gonna give their name (that's probably what they want) but I will say they have been reported (which did nothing) and blocked, and they possibly might spam report this story to get it taken down. It's happened before.

If that does happen, I'll post this on my DeviantArt. I might continue this, it was fun to write!

Ciao,

Mr. Dusk