Hello everybody! I know I promised the next chapter will be bigger, (lol) but...I lied. Sorry guys.

To show I did not forget about you, or my characters, I decided to post this short little chapter, just for you.

Enjoy!

Next...Epov? You interested?

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. All grammar mistakes are unfortunately mine.

Chapter 9

Dear diary...

Feels like I haven't been writing in ages.

So much has happened in so little time.

Well...if feels like that, somehow.

Where to start?

Work has been...different. We got a new employee. I like her a lot. She's all work, no bullshit kinda gal. Is it too weird to say it was love at first sight from my pov?

After I introduced her to Alice, we started to hang out more outside of work. We were like three musketeers, three for one, and one for all...or well... you know what I mean. No pun intended.

Rose knew how to balance love, work and private life. I kind of envied her about it. A little.

Without even realizing for the next few months, I found myself actually enjoying life.

There were no more nightmares, no more premonitions, or even visions of any kind. My life was actually kinda bland...and a little bit boring-to Alice, at least.

Me?

I loved getting my sleep patterns back to normal. And every little tedious moment in between.

I still saw Jane, but not as much.

Everything was getting balanced on its own.

On weekdays, I'd do my daily hours at work, and at nights, all three of us would get for a round of drinks.

I even met a guy.

Yes, you've read that right.

Charming, but modest. Handsome, but approachable. Gentle, yet comfortable in his own masculinity. Everything I wanted, actually, in a person.

A manifestation come to life. Someone to share my thoughts, dreams, jokes, laughs, without any judgement. And as the time passed by, he turned about to be even more of a dream than I could even imagine.

There was just one problem.

I was...or should we say...my body. It refused to belong to anybody but him.

Every time J touched me or at least try to, there was just something, someone who wouldn't allow me to experience the sensation of another men above me..touching me, tasting me, making me feel...desired, loved, coveted.

Every kiss, every touch of his lips on my skin brought me sensations of joy, desire, excitement, only to momentarily get overpowered by emotions such as torture, agony, fear, even disgust. My brain and body were constantly in conflict with each other.

I know J could see that I had my own two minds of it all, and just like the good guy he is, he agreed with me to take it slow. Or should we say, even slower.

I tried to explain in the best way possible that it didn't bother me, just that I was cautious because I was hurt badly, but the truth is, after he left, I would find myself crying more than once on the couch.

Who ever said dating is easy is a big fucking liar.

Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I was cursed or something.

I know what Al would say to me, her advice would be not to worry, or exaggerate, like I usually do with everything. Rose would be the one who would say something blunt/funny enough to make me laugh while brushing away my tears and ordering me another shot. Or two. Or five.

Then, for just a microsecond, there is an almost sudden caress on my cheeks. It both shocks me and exhilarates me at the same time.

Shock because- I was absolutely and completely all alone in my tiny apartment- and exhilarating because...that was a touch I knew. A touch I was familiar with so many times across decades and millennia ago. It was his touch.

A whisper of words fall from his mouth to my ears. So soft, yet so broken, it makes my eyesight blurry with moisture.

"I'm sorry Bella."

Something short just to keep ya guys on your toes...will they won't they. Don't worry...they will *wink, wink*

next up...Epov?

Thanks for reading!