Luigi's Mansion 2: Dark Moon
Chapter Twelve: The West Tower
When Luigi ran through the door at the base of the west tower, slamming it shut and locking the wooden barrier behind him, he expected to find something roughly the same as the first one, like a bunch of pipes and greenhouses, but this was not the case. Like everywhere else, the light fixtures were dark with a few candles providing some dim illumination, but this tower actually looked like someone might've lived in it… at least at one time. Faded red area rugs covered the hard wood floors of the entrance hall, small wooden display tables held items like curios, clocks, and other potentially valuable items, with the most numerous feature being the portraits.
Coated with a layer of dust like everything else in Evershade Valley, the walls on both sides of this hallway were covered with old fashioned portraits of all sizes, featuring a lot of people who the green plumber had no way to identify. The first floor of this place seemed to be made mostly for sitting rooms, or maybe the former occupants had their meals in the small dining room with the long rectangular table off to the left, but the important thing was that so far there weren't any ghosts around. There was a strange portrait on the dining room, however, one that looked newer and far less dusty than the others, featuring none other than Professor E. Gadd himself. He was painted sitting on a wooden chair at a table, and was all smiles, blushing as three women who looked to be about his age all gave him a kiss on the cheek at the same time.
"Hey, Professor." Luigi said into the radio, shining his light on the portrait. "Did you know there's a painting of you in here?"
"Uh, the old man's taking a nap right now." Daisy's voice replied, startling him. "But don't worry, Luigi, I'll keep you company… just let me figure out how to work these camera controls."
It was comforting to hear the Princess's voice, and so far that big yellow walking ghost hadn't made it into the west tower, so the green plumber was content to look up and watch as the nearest old fashioned camera turned itself in all directions, its large lens rotation back and forth while Daisy grumbled over the radio about all the different toggle switches and knobs instead of something practical like a joystick. When she finally got it worked out, the camera tilted down toward the painting, zooming in as the Princess had the same surprised reaction that he did upon seeing it at first. It made him wonder who these older ladies were and why they kissing on the Professor at some kind of tea party?
"Well, well, looks like the old guy's got some game, after all." Daisy's voice said. "But no matter how many old biddies he's got on his arm, he's nothing compared to 'my' man… the world famous, super handsome ghost hunter."
"Gosh, Daisy, you're gonna make me blush." Luigi replied, looking around the rooms again. "Hey, since you're at the controls, can you look at the map of Haunted Towers for me? I need to get all the way to the top, but I can't seem to find the stairs."
Over the radio he could hear the sounds of her searching around the consoles that the Professor always operated so easily, but the maps of Evershade Valley must've been pretty hard to find, since the Princess was heard saying, uh… a few things out of frustration that were not exactly family friendly. While she was searching, the green plumber continued his exploration of the first floor, discovering a kitchen, another sitting room, and a couple smaller doors that looked like the entrances to broom closets, maybe? Pulling open the one on the right, Luigi was surprised when he found, not a broom closet, but a downward staircase that went so far down his flashlight couldn't reach the bottom.
Well, that walking ghost tossed the pinwheel decoration up onto the top floor, so there was no need to go to the basement of this place at all… thankfully… so he closed the door before looking at the other small one next to it. Shrugging before turning the wooden knob and pulling it open, the green plumber cried out in surprise when it revealed not an upward staircase, but a pile of junk that fell right on top of him as soon as the door was opened. Old fashioned bats and gloves, hocky pads, football equipment, this was just a cartoonishly large pile of discarded sports equipment that spilled out all over the floor after burying him, and stopping with some tennis balls bouncing away.
"Hey, Luigi, I found something." Daisy's voice said while he crawled out from under some volleyball nets. "Don't bother with the door next to that one, it's just a closet; it looks like the door to the upward stairs is on the other side of that dining room you were in."
Unable to respond while untangling himself from the nets, the green plumber simply headed in that direction after getting to his feet, and pretty quickly finding another set of small doors like the first ones. Remembering that the downward stairs were on the left, Luigi opened that same one, only to hiss in pain and hold his head after a big old-fashioned ironing board dropped down into place. It was at that exact moment that the Princess warned him that the layout looked like a mirror of the other side, meaning that the stairs were probably on the right this time. Just in case, he stepped out of the way upon pulling open the next door, but this time the upward stairs were visible.
"All right, where'd ya go?!" A deep voice called from behind as the front door was heard being thrown open. "I know you're in here, little man, I saw you come in."
Forgetting all about the pain in his head, the green plumber stepped through and quietly pulled the door shut behind him, hoping that the walking ghost wouldn't be able to tell where he went. Like the stairs back in Gloomy Manor, these ones were solid wood, old, and creaked a lot, so Luigi was forced to take it really slow, moving as silently as he could up the stairs toward the west tower's second floor. With each creak that was heard, he was worried that the walking ghost would be able to track him down, and even more so with the high pitch drawn out squeak that came with opening the small wooden door at the top. He was sure the phantom was going to appear behind him at any second, all the way up to the point where the green plumber was through and closing the door behind himself, but it didn't happen.
For the moment, at least, he appeared to be safe, and… and standing on some very thick, and clean looking shag carpet. It covered the floor in all directions, and a lot of the décor was the same as on the first floor, but the difference was that there was not a speck of dust to be found. There were even curtains pulled back over the intact glass windows, and now a tea kettle was whistling, drawing Luigi's attention to the… to the three older women who were sitting down at a familiar looking small wooden table. There was a tall skinny one, a short one of average build, and an even taller one of, uh… bigger stature we'll say. All of them had gray hair and wore the kind of bonnets that old fashioned women wore on Easter, but…
"Elvin, is that you?!" The skinny one exclaimed, turning toward him. "Oh, my darling, you've returned!"
"I saw him first, you hussy!" The short one shouted. "Oh, Elvin, I've been counting the days since your last visit!"
"Both of you rakes need to take a breath!" The biggest one yelled in a surprisingly deep voice. "I met Elvin before either one of you, and now you get to stand there and look all jealous when I become the next Mrs. Gadd!"
They were ghosts… each one glowing a different color, with yellow eyes and a phantom tail, and… and the same ones who were kissing on the Professor in that portrait. Now knocking over their chairs as they rushed over toward him, the green plumber backed away as the three ghosts dropped the tea tray onto the floor, spilling cookies and sugar onto the shag carpet as they pushed and shoved, fighting to be the first ones over to… someone that they finally realized wasn't the old man. The three of them just floated there for a second, slowly letting go of the headlock or whatever they were doing to try and keep each other back, and now Luigi took a step back as they began to circle around him, cleaning their glasses and looking him over to see if they were mistaken.
"Elvin, you've done something to your hair." The short one said. "And you got a new suit."
"That's not Elvin, you dinglehopper." The skinny one replied, smacking the small one in the back of the head. "But he's got the vacuum, and that same vacant look in his eyes… then again… Elvin?"
"Get serious, you two victory girls." The biggest one declared. "He's got Elvin's stuff and acts a little like him… this has to be his son, Elvin Gadd Jr.! What a good boy, coming home from the war to visit his father and meet his new stepmother… it's me, right?"
Now the three of them were pushing each other again, fighting and putting each other in headlocks again as if they really thought both that Luigi was the old man's son and that the Professor was going to marry one of them. Well, to tell the truth, back in his own mansion Melody had the same idea and nearly killed him over it, but there was no time for this. It was only a matter of time before that big yellow phantom downstairs realized where he had gone, but the three of them kept pushing and shoving, demanding to know which of them it was that the Professor wanted to marry.
"Ladies, ladies, please don't fight." The green plumber said, a plan desperately forming in his mind. "Uh…
"Oooh, these blind old bats are really burning me up." Daisy's voice hissed over the radio. "Imagine, fighting over an old creep like the Professor while the sexiest man in two kingdoms is standing right in front of you… Luigi, these hags need to pay, so tell them exactly what I say to you."
He didn't really have a plan of his own, so Luigi agreed, telling the three phantoms that the Professor had in fact chosen his new bride, but that he wanted a photo of all three of them in order to mark the occasion. His repeating was probably a bit robotic sounding, but the three ghosts jumped at the chance to do anything to please the Professor, grouping themselves right in front of him and smiling sweetly… as he charged up the strobulb. Now telling them to get closer together, and move more toward him, all three of these old ghosts were looking right into the vacuum when he told them to say cheese, and pushed the button.