Essie wandered through to the kitchen, awake too early again; it was getting to be a habit. She fell asleep easily enough but after a few hours a nightmare would wake her and she could not get back to sleep.
Tonight she was thinking about what Kina Ha said but hadn't seen Maze since. Now she could get the first loaves proved, if Mother was ready. This was a test. It may not make much but if she remembered the recipe, it would taste good. She switched on her datapad before making a Caf. She needed the hit of a caf more than a calming shig tonight, then she heard movement.
"Can't sleep again?" She asked, seeing Kal in the dark corner.
"Not tonight."
"Caf or shig?"
He shook his head lifting his glass; he had been pondering on Ny. Why was she here? Why were any of them here? Why he felt like he did about her? Did she feel the same? It disturbed him.
Too many questions and not enough answers.
He watched the young woman fetch the bowl she had been tending for the last few days. It had 'Do Not Touch' on it. Nobody had. Mereel said she could probably do unspeakable things to you and warned everyone off. She didn't look dangerous, although she had fine muscles, obviously worked on. Kom'rk hadn't found out much more but he seemed to trust her, which was ironic in a house full of mistrustful ex soldiers.
She appeared to be open about everything. Against his better judgement he admitted he liked her.
"Why can't you sleep?" She asked.
"I taught children, toddlers, to fight and die."
Killed one.
"Looks to me like you taught them to live and survive."
She lifted the lid from the tub, looked in and smelled, nodding, satisfied at the results.
"Is it okay?"
"Yes. It's going to be Mother."
"Mother? We say Buir around here."
"Okay Buir, for the bread."
"Bread?"
"My… Buir who adopted me, was a baker. I helped them when I was younger. So I thought I would make myself useful and make some bread that's actually edible and not that stuff," she nodded towards a large tin, "that breaks your teeth."
He snorted.
Kal Skirata, mercenary, bounty hunter, gun for hire, all around bad guy didn't normally regret what he did but sometimes he remembered more than he wanted to.
That's why he had the Tihaar.
She tapped her datapad again. He looked at the hologram projecting from it. The young couple and their daughter, the man swinging the daughter up into his arms.
She pushed it towards him.
"My birth parents….we'd been to the Arboretum. They'd been away for a few weeks, so this was a treat."
He watched her swallow before continuing.
"The next night they were dead."
"So who brought you up?"
"Nat and Sol, my adoptive parents, this is them," she showed him another picture, "I had an Aunt but she was never around. They taught me how to bake. They were both slaves, until my birth parents helped them escape and after that Nat and Sol looked after me when they went on their trips. I owe everything to them."
"Good people. All of them."
He was amazed how calm his voice was, how much of a chakaar he had been then and now, even if it was just a job. But he remembered the big scarred Twi'lek; he had seen him, as he left.
"They were."
"Were?"
"We got split up on Coruscant."
"You can stay here as long as you want, you know that."
It was a split second spur of the moment decision that Ordo would hate but abide by because he loved his father.
He remembered the hologram he received with the bounty fob; there was no child in that but would he have done anything different if there had been? He couldn't answer, probably not, he was well on his way to being found in the gutter at that point in his life. Pre - Kamino before the Nulls saved him.
She stared at him.
He wondered for a few seconds if she knew.
"I want to pay my way. I have money, a small amount but it's held on Coruscant and I can't to get at it."
"Don't worry about that." He patted her hand. "We've got enough."
"I can work then, bake, just like they did. Provide bread for everyone."
"Yeah. You do that. We'll call it even."
Kal took another slug of his Tihaar; he needed it tonight. He'd talk to Jaing in the morning. See what he could find out but now he leaned back and closed his eyes.
.
Essie stood outside the building that looked like a barn but with no animals in it.
Kom'rk said it was their gym and she wanted, no needed to get back into training; it was familiar and helped clear her head. Might even help her sleep.
She pushed the door open and wrinkled her nose at the familiar smell. It was small but well equipped with plenty of free weights, bulking up weights and bars. Yes she could work with this. Might have to dial it back a little; it had been a while.
"Hey you came! Come on, we'll soon get you up to speed." Kom'rk walked towards her. There were a couple of others lifting weights, Mereel and Prudii. They ignored her. She was happy with that.
"So what are you going to start with?"
She looked around, "I need to warm up first."
"So you do. Anything you need a hand with just shout."
She found a rowing machine, adjusted it and worked on that, once she'd got good and warmed up, she looked around at the weights.
"Legs, core, upper body." She visualised her training plan.
It was harder getting back into it than she thought; she had never gone this long without some form of training except when she had Del but she already felt better. She stood and looked up at the bars. She needed a box, they were built for taller people, as always.
"Need some help?" A clone voice behind her asked. "I'm Mereel."
"Yes. Can you lift me up?"
She felt his hands rest just under her ribs.
"Yes, that's fine."
He boosted her up. She grabbed hold of the bars, getting a good grip.
"Okay!" She said and started.
She continued with the pull ups until her arm and shoulder muscles screamed in pain at her, then she lowered herself, holding herself off the ground. The sweat was dripping down her face and chest, and she felt hands under her ribs again.
"Thanks Kom'rk but I can drop from there." she dropped.
She turned to face Mereel.
"Sorry."
"That's okay. Still doing the wrestling?"
"No. Its been a while."
"Oh, I thought you had done some as recent as a couple of years ago."
She looked at his face, he had a disarming smile but there was something about him, different to Kom'rk and most definitely different to Maze. She felt Kom'rk come up next to her.
"I think you are mistaken."
"If you say so." His smile never moved.
She flung her towel around her neck and headed out, his questions bothering her. The smile was well practised and she was used to Maze's grunts, if she was honest. She heard clone voices arguing as she walked away; she stopped to listen but it was Mando'a and she could only pick up snippets. It seems brothers were the same the galaxy over.
.
Essie was tired, the broken nights catching up with her; the bread dough was proving overnight for baking in the morning. She contemplated trying to catch a few minutes of sleep, when she saw Zey heading towards her, she slowed. Still thinner than he had been but he looked more energised, healthier.
"Essie! We need to talk."
She waited.
"Shall we walk?" He asked.
She nodded and they walked towards a new building Rav's boys were working on, nobody said exactly what it was for but it was almost complete.
"You need to see this." He held a data disk out to her. "Maze should have given it to you weeks ago. I don't know why he hasn't."
"What's on it?"
"Don't know. All I know is it's for you."
"Where is he? I haven't seen him for days. Is he avoiding me?"
"Gone for a run. But you must talk to him. Promise me you'll find him and do that."
He put it in her palm and closed her hand around it, "I'm sorry I didn't come back for you."
"It's fine, we're all safe now, that's all that matters."
He smiled hesitantly.
"Life's too short, Arli. I've realised that after everything that's happened."
"You're right. Is Kina helping you?"
"Surprisingly, she is."
Essie found herself sitting or walking with the Kaminoan most days since that first meeting; sometimes with Besany, sometimes alone; Besany was understanding and insightful. She was surprised at how little time she and Ordo had actually spent together before they came here.
"Good. I'll try and find Maze for you."
He hated that these two were wasting what little time they may have together. It had taken him a lifetime to learn that, when it was too late.
Maze would be angry about the disk but he could deal with that.
Essie watched him go then went to her room, she wanted privacy to check the disk.
Sitting on her bed, and using the GAR datapad Kom'rk repurposed and encrypted for her, she inserted the disc and an hologram of Nat and Sol sprang up, she blinked back the tears. They were standing in front of boarded up windows; it was done just before they left.
"Essie love. If you're seeing this we've been split up. We've instructed Maze to make sure you and Del escape. You two come first." Nat spoke.
She could barely see the figures, through the tears.
"Don't be angry with him. He was following our instructions." Sol added.
"We know you'll understand, you're a mother yourself. What you feel about Del, we feel about the both of you. All three of you." Nat added.
"Stay safe. See you soon."
The message stopped.
.
Maze finished the sixth circuit he mapped out for himself. The terrain lent itself to some rough cross country runs. Dipping in and out of the undergrowth. Over a few streams and up several inclines; it gave him a good workout, especially with a fully loaded backpack.
And he could avoid Kom'rk; the Null seemed to want to attach himself to him.
He lent over panting, as he reached the end of his last circuit. The uphill part was good cardio.
He whipped around, his blaster already out as he heard the crunch of feet on the undergrowth.
"Thought you were never going to pick up on us, ner vod."
He glared at the two Mandalorians facing him.
They were both clones, Alpha's, he knew from their stature and stance. But which? The armour was well worn Mandalorian.
The speaker pulled his helmet off.
"Sull!"
"Yeah!" He stepped forward, hand held out.
Maze clasped his forearm.
"Good to see you alive. Courtesy of Kal's relocation service, I take it?"
Sull looked at his partner.
"Yes. With a little help from others."
Maze looked at the other.
"Aren't you going to introduce me?" His finger twitched on his blaster; the other clone was an unknown quantity, not someone he recognised.
"Spar!"
"Alpha 02?"
"Spar!" He reiterated.
"Spar. We didn't know exactly what happened to you but heard rumours."
He wasn't sure how he felt about someone who deserted before even firing a shot; Sull at least did some fighting in the war.
"Been doing this and that. Shouldn't believe everything you hear."
Maze shrugged and released the trigger on his blaster.
"Where are you going?"
"Just paying a visit. We did some work for Skirata on Coruscant. Just checking in on something that was mentioned."
They walked back towards the house.
"So, Sull, why desert?"
"Tavo."
Maze remembered Sull and Tavo were close. Like he and Ne'tra.
"Sorry. Heard he bought it." Maze pushed a branch out of his way, holding it back for Sull.
"There was no 'bought it'." Sull ground out, "He'd had enough. One too many dini'la missions with no valid reason behind them. No strategic importance. And don't give me that Osik about soldiers obeying orders. So he got out, or so he thought. But they tracked him down and he was taken out. By two of our own. I saw the light. I quit but they still sent someone after me."
It rankled with Sull.
"I heard."
"Didn't think I would see you here?" Sull continued.
Maze shrugged, he had a moment of regret that he hadn't done it earlier but he was doing his job, as did thousands of other troopers.
"Heard you came out with a lady friend?" Spar asked.
"Yeah! What's it to you?" Maze replied, warily, someone had been talking.
"So where is she?"
"Back at the house." He hoped.
"Do we get to meet her?"
"That's up to her."
"Hey Sull. Might have a chance there." Spar joked.
There was something off about Spar. If Maze thought the Nulls were crazy…..
He stopped dead and turned to face him. Sull held an arm in front of Spar, holding him back, just in case.
Over his dead bloody body but he wasn't going to say that to them.
"That will depend entirely on her. She's her own woman."
Spar laughed, "Good to hear."
"So what exactly are you here for? Didn't know you did courtesy calls."
"We sprang a scientist. She's going to be doing an anti ageing cure. We wanted to make sure she was still okay. Given what happened to her home planet."
"Hmm!" Maze wasn't sure he totally believed them, Uthan was around and the Nulls had been very cagey about what was going on there.
"You think she's really going to do it?"
"The sergeant seems to think so, that's why he sprang her."
Now it was beginning to make sense.
They reached the house, Maze opened the door to the kitchen; both his companions had their helmets attached to their belts now.
Essie was there, finding there was a never ending process of preparing food, for everyone who wanted some.
"Three more Essie. They already look hungry. Get the drinks. I'll get the bread and meat out." Laseema shouted out to her.
"Will do." She lifted the kettle, filled it and put it onto the stove to boil; she turned around to see Maze standing at the door with two Mandalorians.
She hesitated, "Caf or shig?" She asked, trying to stay natural.
He looked stressed. She stared at him.
"I think she likes you!" Spar quipped, nudging him.
"Caf!"
"Three cafs then, with sugar I assume?" She asked, voice a little too bright.
Before Maze could move, Spar was at her side, hand on her back and reaching up to get the mugs.
"Let me get those for you. I'm Spar. This is Sull and Maze."
"I know."
Spar looked back at Maze, an odd look in his eyes.
Essie bypassed him before he could turn back.
"Maze. I missed you." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. He stood there like an idiot, while Laseema placed the food for them to help themselves.
"Can we talk?" She asked quietly.
He nodded.
"In private." and she pulled him outside, finishing a few steps from the door.
"Thank you, for Fradian."
"I couldn't leave you there."
"Some would have. You were away safe. And when we left Nat and Sol behind…" she started.
He dropped his head, looking away. She put her hand to his cheek.
"I know why you did it."
He looked at her other hand, as she held out the data disc.
"Zey?"
"Yes."
"They made me swear…." He stared at the disc.
"I've seen it."
Her grief came flooding back, tears welled up and overflowed. He wiped them away with his thumb.
He pulled her to him, chin resting on her head.
She leant on him, sobbing, the anger replaced with grief, regret, and fear.
"I should have given it to you straight away." He whispered.
"I was too angry." She sniffed. "Angry with you and them."
His fingers, entwined with hers. His forehead dropped to rest on hers.
"I didn't know how to admit that I couldn't save them, then Bracca and Fradian. I thought I wouldn't be able to save you and Del. I'd failed."
He felt as if he was blaming Nat and Sol. Abdicating responsibility. In the end he was still responsible. He had not turned back and he left them on Fradian.
"Maze, you did what you had to do on Fradian. I understand that."
"I left you there. You shouldn't have been put in that position."
"You can't save everyone. Do you think…"
"I don't know." He interrupted her; it was one of the hardest decisions he had to make, leaving them behind.
She placed a small kiss on his cheek, his stubble rough against her lips; he pulled away surprised. Her hand was still holding tight to the recording disc.
"You're only human, remember that."
He couldn't forgive himself. Good people were missing because of his actions.
"Shall we get that Caf?" She asked him, eyes and nose still red.
Her hand tightened around his, as they walked back in to see Sull and Spar sat eating; he dropped her hand as they looked up.
"Satisfying romantic interlude, ner vod?" Spar asked, noting the female's red eyes and nose.
Sull nudged him, seeing Maze's stony face.
Essie reached for Maze again, feeling him tense up at the other clone's words and his anger.
"I'll get you some caf." She offered, trying to distract him.
"You alright?" Asked Laseema, as Essie poured the caf.
"Yes. I am now."
Maze sat t the opposite end of the table, glaring at Spar.
Essie walked back with a caf and a sandwich.
"Here!" She sat next to him, glancing at Spar. "What's all that about?" She whispered.
"Alpha business!"
Essie didn't pursue it; he obviously didn't want to talk about it.
"Do you want to talk later?"
Maze grunted in reply. Everything he believed he was here for, had been taken away from him in that one Order. Essie felt he had reverted to the man she met in the library years ago.
She knew he was different from that.
Kina Ha was right. They all needed time.
.
Essie only just heard the soft knock at her door, as she was undressing. She pulled her borrowed top back on and opened it.
Maze stood there, silent.
"Come in!"
"I don't want to wake Del!" He whispered.
"He has a little room next door. I have an alarm for him."
He looked over to the table she pointed at.
"Come in!"
She opened the door further. He hesitated.
"No. I'm leaving. I just wanted to see you."
"Leaving? Already?" Her voice wavered.
"It's a bounty, a three man job. Mission prep."
"You, Sull and Spar." She guessed.
"Yes."
She slipped her hand into his, "Be careful."
"Sull's fine. I trained with him."
"Spar?"
"I'll be fine."
"Please come in."
"If I do, I won't leave."
She stepped out and looked up. He wavered then pulled her to him, dropping his forehead to hers. He felt her arms around his neck and he relaxed into her for a few seconds; the feeling of her body uniquely Essie. The urge to remain with her taunted him.
Her lips grazed his cheek?
"Don't!" his voice low; he took a deep breath, reached back and pulled her hands down, placing a kiss on the palm of each hand before looking into her face.
"Just be here when I get back."
"How long?"
"A week, perhaps more. It depends on how fast we find them."
"I'm not going anywhere."
She leaned into him again, he didn't resist, bending and tilting his head to kiss her. She opened her mouth as soon as he pressed his tongue tentatively between her lips; the kiss deepened, as they became engrossed in each other. He finally pulled away again.
"See what I mean!" He smiled.
It was the first time she had seen him smile, since before Order 66. She wanted more but within seconds he was gone, disappeared.
.
Essie watched Uthan's Test.
Sull and Spar had shown up, seemingly unimpressed by everything. She watched as they spoke to the Doctor who was looking for the rapid ageing cure but first, there was this Imperial viral weapon to be immunised against. Kom'rk had explained it all to her.
She was surprised to see Maze standing away from the other Alphas but he was here, waiting with them before leaving for the Bounty. He was dressed in armour just like theirs.
She watched as Uthan took a vial from the box and inserted it into the hypospray, still speaking to the two Alpha's, Maze watched them.
Uthan finished administering the hyposprays to everyone and held up the empty box.
[1] "Friends—if you do get any symptoms, onset should be within an hour. Just sniffles and a slight fever. This does not entitle any males to take to their beds claiming they have acute pneumoscoria and yes Corr that does mean you and no you cannot have a candy for being a brave boy …"
Everyone laughed.
Essie watched Maze as he left with the two Alphas after getting his vaccination.
She joined the queue with Del to get theirs.
.
[1] Karen Traviss - Imperial Commando - 501st.