-Chapter 9-
Fire & Ice Don't Mix
Dark Land
Within their lab at Bowser's Castle, Kamek and Kammy were hard at work preparing something in a magic cauldron, Kamek chuckling darkly as Kammy sang a little tune.
" Double-double / toil and trouble / fire burn and cauldron bubble!" Kammy turned to her brother. "Is it ready, Kamek?"
"Hold on…" Kamek raised his stirring stick, dripping with slime. "Hmmm…needs more magic." He his wand, sprinkling some colored, powdery energy into the mixture. He stirred it some more, then checked again. The submerged part of the stick had been reduced to a burnt husk. "It's ready, Kammy!"
"EEEEExcellent." Kammy grinned. "Guards! Bring the mold!"
Several Koopa Troopas walked in, carrying a large, metal mold, and huffing and puffing from how heavy it was.
"That's it…" Kammy directed them. "Little further...little more, STOP!"
The Koopas stopped, dropping the metal before collapsing, panting and wincing.
"I can't feel my arms…" One groaned.
"Alright, back off!" Kammy ordered. "All of you, shoo!"
The Koopas pulled themselves up, staggering out.
"Now, let us begin," Kamek declared.
The two used their magic to levitate the cauldron, motioning it toward the mold before pouring the contents into a hole on the top.
"Slowly…" Kammy said. "Careful now...gentlyyyyyy..."
"You know, dear sister, it's hard for me to be careful with you telling me to be careful." Kamek deadpanned.
"Shush, Kamek!" Kammy hissed. "Your sarcasm is distracting me!"
Kamek rolled his eyes as the two finished pouring the liquid into the mold. "There, it's done."
"Now to recite the ancient incantation."
The two raised their hands and began chanting.
" EDIS OT EDIS MORF SMRA RUOY GNIWS / OIRAM EHT OD OG OT EMIT STI NO EMOC! " The mold begin to glow and shake. " NIAGA NEHT DNA PETS ENO EKAT / OIRAM EHT OD STEL / WON REHTEGOT LLA! " The mold started shaking even more. " TI TOG UOY / WON NO EMOC / TSUJ! EKIL! TAHT!"
The mold shook one more time before stopping.
"Did it work?" Kamek asked.
Kammy scratched her head. "Maybe we didn't say it right?"
"Kammy! Kamek!" The two were startled by Bowser suddenly barging into the room. "What the heck in a hamster ball is taking so long?!"
"Lord Bowser, we told you these kinds of spells are delicate procedures," Kammy told him. "We can't just put the ingredients in a blender and hit frappé."
"It's been almost a week !" Bowser shouted. "How hard is it to make one lousy… Wait, what exactly are you making again?"
"Well…" Kamek was cut off by the mold suddenly beginning to glow. The two Magikoopas looked in awe. "How about we show you?"
Kamek and Kammy waved their wands, firing blasts of shapes at the mold. The metal chunk began to dissolve into smoke, and in its place stood a glowing, transparent, crystal heart. Bowser grinned.
"Is that what I think it is?"
"Yes, Your Putridness," Kammy confirmed. "It's exactly what you think it is."
Bowser approached it, grinning evilly. He held the heart in his claws, taking a moment to admire it. "Finally, after all these years, it's finally mine! The key to world domination is mine !" He threw back his head in an evil laugh. " NOW, WHO'S GONNA STOP ME?! "
Frappé Snowland
On the Marine Pop, Mario let out a hearty sneeze, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"Someone's talking about me," he muttered. "I just know it."
"Either that, or it's this Grambi-awful weather," Toad muttered, shivering. "Hey Professor! Are there yet? I think my cap's frozen to my head!"
"Oh, so it's a hat?" Luigi asked, looking over his polka-dotted mushroom cap.
"Yes and no," E. Gadd chimed in. "A Toad's cap is a natural part of its body, but it can be removed like a piece of clothing. If they go without wearing it for several days, a new one grows back. (1)"
Mario blinked. "Really?"
"Oh, yes. See?" He pulled off Toad's mushroom cap, getting a "Hey!" out of the mushroom-man... and revealing a bald head with a few strands of hair sticking up.
"I... don't know how to react to that," Luigi muttered, while Parakarry snickered.
Toad grabbed the cap, plopping it back on. "Do that again, and I will bonk you with my frying pan."
"Anyway, to answer your question, yes, we're getting close," E. Gadd pointed ahead. "See?"
The Mario Bros. and Toad looked ahead to see Frappé Snowland, a simplistic snowscape dotted with igloos and giant snowmen in various shapes.
"Wow, look at the side of that snowman!" Luigi exclaimed.
"There's a lotta snowman," Toad mused.
"Yep," Plum nodded. "Let's just say there's a reason another name for this place is Snowman's Land. (2)"
"Shhh!" Parakarry hissed. "Keep it down!"
He pointed up ahead. E. Gadd looked into his binoculars. "Uh-oh… trouble."
He handed the binoculars to Mario, who looked to see a group of figures in red cloaks and white masks talking to some frightened locals. The locals shook their heads. One of the masked figures leaned toward them menacingly and stared at them for a few seconds, then walked off.
"Who are those guys?" Mario asked.
"Shy Guys," E. Gadd replied. "Bowser's third most basic troopers after Goombas and Koopa Troopas."
"Shy Guys?" Luigi repeated.
"So named because they always wear those masks," Plum explained. "To this very day, nobody knows what they look like under them. Some people even think the masks are their actual faces."
"Goofy-looking buggers, aren't they?" Toad remarked.
"Trust me, that's the only goofy thing about them," Parakarry said. "The Shy Guy Squad may look silly, but you don't become one of Bowser's minions by being soft. Especially when you work in the field. And these guys are-"
"Excuse meeeeeee..."
Parakarry yelped, the group looking to see a Shy Guy standing right in the ship with them. His voice was soft and nasally, and sounded very monotone and depressed.
"Gadzooks!" E. Gadd cried.
"Where'd he come from?!" Toad demanded.
Mario jumped to his feet, raising his dukes in a boxing stance. "You want some?"
The Shy Guy just stared at Mario, not even moving, before slowly raising his hand. Mario braced himself, expecting an attack.
"Hiiiii…"
A dead silence followed, everyone confused. Luigi slowly raised his hand, waving awkwardly.
"Um… hi?"
"My name's David..." the Shy Guy went on.
"Uhhh…" Mario blinked. "Hello… David."
"And I'm saaaaaaaad..."
Everyone looked at each other awkwardly. Toad turned to Parakarry.
"Tough and not-goofy, huh?" he deadpanned.
"Shh!" Parakarry hissed.
"Let me handle this," Plum walked over to David. "Hello David, Why are you sad?"
"I'm the guy who watches the docks for new ships coming in. What's that job called again?"
"The customs official?" Plum offered.
"That's it. You guys are new here, so I gotta check your passports. But I really don't wanna. 'Cuz then I gotta talk to people, and I reeeeeeeally hate that."
Mario got an idea. "Well David, how about just once, you look the other way and pretend we were never here? We won't be here long, anyway."
"I dunno…" David replied. "If I do that, my boss will get really mad at me. He'll start shouting and yelling, and yelling and shouting, and I reeeeeeeally don't wanna deal with that."
"I can relate," Parakarry remarked.
"So, can I see your passports so I can go home? I reeeeeally don't wanna be here."
Mario held up a finger. "Will you excuse us for a second?"
The group huddled together, lowering their voices.
"What do we do?" Mario whispered. "We don't have any passports, do we?"
"We're fugitives from the law!" E. Gadd snapped. "Of course we don't!"
"Wait!" Toad perked. "I have an idea."
He walked off at that. "Sorry 'bout that, Davey ol' buddy. Here, I got our papers right here!"
"You do? Yaaaaaaay."
"Yeeeeah…" Toad started rummaging through his pack. "Lemme just get'em out of my pack here and-yoink!"
He yanked off David's mask, the Shy Guy shrieking in response and covering his face.
"My face! MY FACE!" he started running around the ship like a chicken with its head cut off. "DON'T LOOK AT ME!"
"Quick!" Toad cried. "Pult him! PULT HIM!"
Plum got out her golf club. "Sorry about this, David! FORE!"
She sent David flying into one of the snowmen, leaving him kicking around ineffectually.
"Can't help but feel sorry for the guy," Luigi mused. "I don't know if we should stomp him or take him out for ice cream."
"Well, while you work that out, I have something for you," E. Gadd said. "You'll need these out in the Snowlands."
He opened a pack, revealing several snowsuits consisting of red-and-blue bubble jackets with fur-lined hoods, dark blue gloves, and yellow snowshoes. Two of them even had red and green colored pants, respectively (3).
"Snowsuits?" Luigi asked.
"Of course! What, do you think you can go running around the frigid north dressed like that ? This isn't some video game, you know."
"You just happened to have three snowsuits in our sizes, complete with color-coded pants for two guys who just so happen to be wearing red and green?" Toad questioned. "How do you plan for something like that?"
Gadd adjusted his glasses, the light glinting off them in a perfect way that he looked a bit sinister."Don't ask questions you aren't prepared to handle the answers to." he warned in an ominous tone.
"Uh huh..." Toad said nervously.
Within minutes, E. Gadd was back to his normal cheery self. "Now, all of you get dressed and prepare to get going, We've got a pipe to find!"
-X-
Meanwhile…
David managed to pull himself free from the snowman.
"Owwww… that hurrrrt…" He looked down to realize he was standing on air. "Oh no…" he fell, yelling in a flat monotone before landing with a heavy thud.
"Owww…" he muttered, getting up and rubbing his head. "Now what'd they go and do that for? I'm just trying to do my lousy, Bowser-mandated job, and they unmask me and use me for golf practice? How rude…" He sighed, pulling out a cell phone and making a call.
"Ohhhh… I hate this part." The phone was answered. "Hello, Mr. Fryguy?"
-X-
Meanwhile, the heroes, now fully bundled up, walked through town.
"Alright Parakarry, we're here," said E. Gadd. "Now, where's this pipe to Dark Land that you mentioned?"
"Shhhh!" Parakarry hissed, putting a finger to his lips. "Ix-nay on the ipe-pay." He pointed upward. There were some Shy Guys with propellers on their heads flying past them.
"Ohhh…" one of them moaned.
"C'mon!" Parakarry whispered. "We need to find somewhere we can blend in. Somewhere with a lot of people."
"Right," Mario nodded. "Lead the way."
As they walked, they noticed Shy Guys were almost everywhere, all of them making some kind of noise, usually moans, groans, or some kind of whining noise.
"Wow," said Toad. "You sure these are Shy Guys and not Emo Guys?"
"They're just like that," Parakarry remarked. "They hate being around people. It makes them antsy."
"Then why work for Bowser?" Mario questioned.
Parakarry sighed. "They didn't have much of a choice after he conquered their territory in Dinosaur Land. (4)"
Mario blinked. "I'm sorry… Dinosaur Land?!"
"Shhh!" Parakarry clapped a hand over his mouth. "Keep it down, will ya?! We're right in the middle of Koopa Troop territory!"
"Sorry," Mario replied. "Now, what's this about Dinosaur Land?"
"I'll tell you later," Parakarry looked around. "There, we'll hide out in this cafe."
They ducked inside to find several citizens seated at tables, all of them wearing winter clothing despite being indoors.
"Wow, the mood here's as down as David." Toad mused.
"That's not the only thing down," Plum shivered. "It's as cold in here as it is outside!"
"She's right," Mario shivered himself. "They really need to check the thermostat in here." He looked up. "Excuse me, barista! Could you turn up the heat, please?"
"Fifty coins per degree over thirty," the barista replied.
Mario raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"
"That's ridiculous!" Luigi exclaimed. "It's a frozen wasteland out there! What kinda cheapskate turns off the heat in these conditions?"
"Complaint box is in the back," the barista replied. "Either that or take it up with the Shy Guys."
The barista poured some coffee, only for it to come out as a frozen chunk. She sighed.
"Y'know what?" Luigi decided. "I'm gonna do that."
"Take it up with the Shy Guys?" Mario asked.
"No, file a complaint."
Luigi grabbed a pencil and piece of paper, writing out a complaint about the heat, before going to the complaint box and filing it. At the sound of whirring blades, he lifted the box up to reveal it was a disguised paper shredder.
"Y'know, I really don't know why I expected anything else." the younger Mario Brother deadpanned.
"So… Shy Guys?" Toad suggested.
"Raincheck," Parakarry motioned to a booth in the corner. "Pull up a seat."
They took up seats in the booth, all of them holding cups of what amounted to coffee-flavored popsicles.
"Alright, just hold your...joe-sicles and pretend to look depressed." Parakarry instructed.
Once everyone grabbed their coffee cups and put on downtrodden expressions, Parakarry went on. "Alright, now good news and bad news. The good news is, I know where the pipe is. It's inside the Big Snowman."
"Inside the snowman?" Mario repeated.
"The biggest one. It's actually the city's power plant."
Gadd perked. "They converted a snowman …into an energy plant ?" he shook his head in disbelief, "How is that even possible!? It would melt!"
"Professor!" Plum shushed, to which E. Gadd complied.
"Alright, let's hear it, Parakarry," Luigi sighed. "What's the bad news?"
"Well…" Parakarry looked around. "It looks like Fryguy's taken up residence here."
"Oh great…" Plum sighed. "That's all we needed."
"And this Fryguy is…?" Mario asked.
"Another of Bowser's Elite. And one of the nastier ones."
"You don't know the half of it," Parakarry remarked. "Fryguy is in charge of Bowser's 'Punishment Squad'. Remember how I said there was an uprising here not too long ago? Well, after the rabble was put down, Bowser laid a slew of sanctions on the region, and sent ol' Flameface to enforce them."
"So that's it," Mario realized. "One of these sanctions is why this place is so cold. It's a thermostat tax!"
"With a little Shy Guy surveillance on the side." Parakarry added. "Fryguy operates by taking over a region's energy sources and extorts the populace with massive fees to use them."
"And if they can't pay, they freeze to death," Mario scowled. "That's despicable…"
"Oh, it gets worse."
"Worse? Worse how?"
"He-"
"Hiiiii…."
Everyone yelped, turning to see David right next to them. He was just standing there, completely still.
"Oh, hey, David," Plum chuckled nervously. "Um... no hard feelings, right?"
"Yeah, so... I had to call in your unlawful entrance to Mr. Fryguy. Sorry about that."
Plum winced. "Ohhh, shiitake…"
"Yeah…" David turned to the entrance. Several other Shy Guys entered, scaring the patrons while chanting "Hee-ho, hee-ho…" (5) as they approached David.
"Hi Daviiiiid..." the leader greeted.
"Hi Carsonnn..." David turned to the heroes. "Everyone, this is Carson, Walter, Bob, Peanut, and..." He turned to the last one. "Ohhhh, I always forget your name."
"Schmebulok!"
David snapped his fingers. "That's it."
"And we're saaaaaaaaaad..." they all intoned.
Mario slowly stood up, holding his hands out in a placating gesture. "Look, you don't have to do this. To do what Bowser tells you to do. I really don't wanna hurt you guys if I don't have to, so just let us go to the pipe to Dark Land so we can save Peach and stop him."
"Hmmmmm… I dunno…" David mused.
"Mr. Fryguy will be awfully soooooore..." Carson noted.
"The last time he got mad, he set a guy on fire," Bob recalled.
"I'm allergic to fire..." Peanut whimpered.
"Schmebulok!" Schmebulok let out.
"The only power Bowser and his goons have over you is the power you give him," Mario insisted. "He took your homes, enslaved you. Are you gonna let them keep pushing you around and step all over you?"
"They will if they know what's good for them." a voice echoed through the cafe.
"What the...?" Mario let out.
Toad tugged on his collar, fanning himself. ""H-Hey guys, is it me...or is it getting kinda toasty in here?"
"Ohhh nooo…" David sighed. "Mr. Fryguy is coming."
The room started getting warmer and warmer. The patrons watched as their frozen coffee rapidly started to melt, a crazed laugh reaching their ears as a jet of flame burst from the thermostat, gathering in the center of the room. Everyone watched as the flame slowly began to morph and shift, growing a face, complete with glowing white eyes surrounded by black markings that resembled sunglasses.
"Greetings, Snowlanders! You all stayin' frosty?" the flame laughed, the Shy Guys joining in..albeit forced and awkward. Fryguy turned to the Toads. "Laugh, you simpering shrooms!" The Toads all began laughing as well. As they did, Fryguy turned to Mario and his friends. "So you're the red 'stache who's been causing so much trouble to Lord Bowser. Though, I expected you to be in pieces all over Dimble Wood by now. Heard you threw down with Mouser and Tryclyde. Even went toe to toe with Basil."
"Guess I'm tougher than I look," Mario remarked.
"I'll say. Not even a month and you took down three Elites ." Fryguy whistled. "Gotta say, you're on a real hotstreak ." Mario didn't react. "That was a joke. You may laugh now."
"For a joke to work, you need humor. And bad puns are only funny to the guys who make them."
The patrons gaped at Mario in shock.
"My, my, what a mouth on you, good sir," Fryguy mused. "You kiss your mother after using that spicy language?"
"I know you're trying to be clever, but it's just coming off lame," Mario said. "How about you just say you're going to kill me and stop embarrassing yourself?"
Fryguy glared at him, his flames rising a bit. "Hmm... is it getting hot in here? Is it safe to be sporting a 'stache like that?" He flared up massively. "It looks FLAMMABLE!"
"Uhhhh...Mr. Fryguy..." David cut in.
"Oh right..." Fryguy cleared his throat. "Listen carefully, Mr. Red Stache. You're obviously new in town, so I'll be unduly nice and explain some things. I am one of Lord Bowser's personal Elite. I also happen to be made of fire."
"Yeah, I can see that."
"Soooooo, if I were you, I would drop the snappy comeback game, and show a little more respect. After all..." Fryguy grinned evilly. "You know what they say...about playing with fire."
"Can we just fight already?" Mario asked, unintimidated. "I'm not playing around."
"Good grief, you are just no fun," Fryguy sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be all yippee, yay, and yahoo?"
Mario scowled, offended. "Hey, there's more to me than just that! If you really just expect me to play along with your stupid games, then YOU'RE the one playing with fire!"
Fryguy scowled. "Alright, fine. If that's how you wanna play it. Hope you brought your sunscreen, Linguine Breath…" he flared up again. "Cause you're gonna BURN!"
He rose… before fading into the thermostat.
"Say what?" Mario blinked.
"Attention Snowlanders!" Fryguy's voice echoed through the town. "This is Lord Fryguy speaking! It would appear that we have some uninvited guests in town. The subjects are a fat man in red, a skinny guy in green, a Toad, a girl, a Parakoopa, and a short, balding man with goofy glasses.
"They are not goofy!" E. Gadd objected. "They show off my genius!"
"Shut up, you!" Fryguy shouted, "Anyway, these six are wanted criminals and must be brought to justice! Catch them, and I will provide you with free power for a week!" The patrons stiffened at that. "The criminals are currently holed up at the Cold Open Cafe. Catch them, and one week of free heating will be yours!"
The patrons all slowly turned to them.
"Uhhhh…" Luigi began.
"Get 'em!" the barista shouted.
At that, everyone in the cafe charged at them.
"Run!" Luigi shouted. Mario grabbed Toad as he and Luigi hopped up onto the table and leapt for the exit. Plum grabbed Prof. E. Gadd, then grabbed Parakarry's hands. The Parakoopa flew them over the crowd. A few Toads tried to grab at Plum's legs, but they managed to escape and flee through the front door, the Toads giving chase.
"What a coward!" Mario spat. "I ask him to fight with me personally, and he just bribes the whole town instead."
"I just told you he was nasty!" Plum remarked.
As they ran off, they were cut off by another group of Toads, clearly planning to capitalize on Fryguy's bounty. The mob looked at them with fury, ready and eager to swarm them at the slightest motion. But in their eyes, Mario could see fear and desperation.
"Hold on a sec!" Mario held out his hands. "It doesn't have to be this way! We're fighting the Koopa Troop! We can stop Fryguy! Why turn us in for one week of heat when you can let me beat him and have it for free as long as you want?"
"Do you think we're stupid?!" one Toad demanded.
"Fighting back against the Koopa Troop is what got us into this mess!" another yelled.
"And how do you know Fryguy will keep his end of the deal?!" Plum demanded. "Huh?!"
"Well…" a third began, unsure of what to think.
"You don't! And even if he does, it's only one week. Is this really worth it?"
"We've been living in the cold and darkness for months!" a fourth Toad shrieked. "We'll take what we can get!"
"What's stopping you from just leaving this town?!" Luigi demanded.
"Ohhhh you know..." Everyone turned to see David standing right in the middle of the crowd. "Just the freezing cold, the ocean, and, y'know, me."
"Just stop and listen to me!" Mario shouted. "You heard what he said. I've beaten three of Bowser's Elites already. If you help me, we can beat Fryguy back, and we can show that monster Bowser he doesn't own you! We can end this together! Please!"
"How?!" the first Toad demanded. "Look at us! We're adorable!"
"Looks don't determine anything," Mario insisted. "We can train you to be fierce warriors."
"What's this?" Fryguy mused. "Having second thoughts, are we? Seems like you need a little more…convincing."
Mario scowled, looking up in the sky. "You bullying coward! Leave these people out of this! If you want me, come and get me yourself!"
"Quiet you!" Fryguy snapped. "David! Be a good boy and light a fire under everyone's butts."
"Okaaaay..." David stared at them, shifting back and forth (6).
"You don't have to do this!" Mario pleaded.
"I do..." David suddenly ran right up to Mario and struck him in the gut, sending him flying into a wall of snow.
"MARIO!" Luigi screamed.
"Holy…!" Toad shouted.
"Still think they're goofy little buggers now?" Parakarry asked.
David ran right past the others toward where Mario landed. "You should've just showed your papers… Now I have to end your game..."
"No!" Luigi yelled. "David, please!"
"You're not being any better than Fryguy!" Plum shouted.
David lifted Mario up by the collar. The red plumber looked him in the eye.
"Don't do it, David. Help me stop Bowser and his minions. You're better than this."
"I-I can't… It'll just make things worse… You've caused enough problems," David sighed. "It's been this way for years now… People think they can stop Bowser… They fight, they make big speeches… and then they die.. What makes you think you'll do better?"
"You're right," Mario admitted. "I don't know if I'll do better. Maybe I can't win this. But I know one thing. I'd rather die on my feet than on my knees."
"..Well, okay." David prepared to strike, but before he could, he was hit by something.
"What the?!" Mario let out.
Suddenly, David's robe burst into flames. "My robe is on fire! My robe is on fire!"
"What?!" Fryguy shrieked. "I missed!? How could I miss?! David you idiot, you ruined my shot!"
Mario scowled. "You… you tried to kill the person who was doing just what you told him?! Just how depraved can you get?!"
Mario jumped to his feet, grabbing David and dunking him in the snow until the fire was put out. The Shy Guy blinked in confusion.
"You... you saved me? Why?"
"Because I'm not your enemy. Fryguy's the one who's causing you harm, not me. And I'm not falling to his level." Mario turned to the crowd. "So, do you still think Fryguy's words are worth anything? He tried to off one of his own soldiers just to get me!"
"N-no!" Fryguy stammered. "I was aiming for the red guy! Honest!"
"It doesn't matter!" Mario pointed to David. "If even his own soldiers aren't safe from this type of shiitake, you think you'll fare any better doing what he says?!"
The Toads started talking amongst themselves.
"You miserable mycelium!" Fryguy roared. "If you won't do your duty and destroy these fools, then you can burn with them!"
Suddenly, the Big Snowman's coal eyes turned red-hot, heat rays shooting out of them and igniting one of the buildings, causing the townsfolk to panic. Mario's eyes narrowed at that.
"So that's where you're hiding."
"We need to get inside the Snowman!" E. Gadd declared.
"And fast!" Luigi declared.
"Wait!" They stopped to see David sitting up. "You'll... need this..." He held up a key.
"What's it for?" Mario asked.
"There's a secret entrance that leads directly to Fryguy's chamber. Located at the base of the snowman in the back."
Mario blinked. "You had this the whole time?"
"I work directly under him. Now go. Stop him."
As they ran off, David watched. "You better win."
-X-
Meanwhile, inside the Snowman, Fryguy gloated.
"Yeeeeees! Burn! Burn to the ground! Burn, you miserable pizza toppings! BURN!"
His laughter was cut off by something hitting him in the back of the head.
"HEY!" came Mario's enraged voice.
Fryguy perked, turning to see Team Mario standing behind him.
"No more hiding, Fryguy!" Mario shouted. "Now FIGHT US ALREADY!"
"You!? How did you…" Fryguy perked. "David… That traitor! When I get my flames on him, I'll–"
"You won't be punishing him when we deal you first!" Luigi declared., his knees knocking.
"You know what?! Fine!" Fryguy roared. "If you're so intent on ending up in an urn, I'm more than happy to show you the way!"
"Bring it!" Mario yelled.
"Consider it brung!" Fryguy launched large blasts of fire at them. Mario and co. leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding the blasts.
"What's the matter, Red Stache?" Fryguy taunted. "Can't take the heat!?"
"Okay, Bro, we got his attention," Luigi noted. "Now what?!"
"I'm working on it!"
"I got it!" E. Gadd pointed to some yellow blocks on the walls, marked with white question marks. "Over there!"
Mario dodged around flames before punching the underside of one of the blocks, a blue flower emerging.
"A Fire Flower! Perfect!" Mario grabbed it, his body glowing. "Alright Fryguy, let's see how you handle the heat!"
"Fighting fire with fire? Gee, how stupid!" Mario threw a projectile at Fryguy. "Well, if that's how you wanna play it, fine by-!" Fryguy was cut off when it hit him, sizzling and getting a pained scream out of him. "What the...!?"
"Huh?" Mario blinked. "That wasn't fire."
He took in his new outfit, seeing that his shirt and hat have turned blue rather than white
"A new powerup?" Luigi asked.
"Indeed! The Ice Flower!" E. Gadd declared. "I was wondering how on earth they managed to convert a snowman into a power plant. Then it hit me! They had to be using something to act as a coolant!"
"You can explain the rest later!" Plum cut in. "Let's grab these flowers and extinguish him!"
They began hitting blocks, popping out more Ice Flowers.
"Alright everyone, ready...aim...!" Everyone aimed the flowers at Fry Guy. "Fire! Er, FREEZE!"
They charged forward, holding the flowers out like flamethrowers and spraying frozen mist at Fryguy, who shrieked in pain and disbelief.
"How can this be?!" Fryguy demanded. "I am Fryguy! I'm one of Bowser's Elite!"
"Your reign of terror is over!" Mario shouted. "It's time to put you on ice!"
He cupped his hands together, creating a massive ice ball before throwing it at Fryguy.
"Really?" Fryguy sighed at Mario's pun before the ice ball hit him in the face, snuffing him out. He was reduced to a tiny, candle-sized flame, attempting to run away before being picked up by Mario.
"So, you got me, Red 'Stache. What're you gonna do now? Blow me out?"
"Nah," Mario shook his head. "I think the ones you tortured should decide your fate."
-X-
Later, Fryguy was trapped in a snowglobe inside the cafe.
"No!" he ranted. "Lemme out! Lemme out! You can't do this to me! I am Fryguy! FRYGUY!" Someone began shaking him around, getting a scream of pain. "THE PAIN!"
Off to the side, the Toads and David's group spoke to Mario.
"You actually did it... You beat one of Bowser's Elite," one Toad remarked. "Then... it's not hopeless? We can beat the Koopa Troop after all?"
Mario smiled. "You bet."
"When I get out of here, I'll burn your entire town to ashes! YOU'LL SEE!"
The first Toad turned to the barista. "Fros, take him to the freezer."
"Yes sir!" Fros picked it up, heading to the back.
"Freezer!? No! Not the freezer! Anything but the freezer! NOT THE FREEZEEEEEEER!" David watched blankly as Fryguy was taken away. "David! I'll get you for this betrayal! Just you wait!"
"...Yeah, okay..." David sighed, unconcerned as Fryguy was shut in.
Mario clapped his hands together. "Now that that's done, let's go down that pipe to Dark Land."
"Fair warning: ditch the snowsuits before we go down," Parakarry cautioned. "It is smack dab in the middle of the Fire Sea."
"Good luck, you guys," David told them. "And… I'm sorry for everything…"
Mario looked at David before walking over to him, startling the Shy Guy, who began trembling nervously.
"It's ice under the bridge, now," Mario told him. "Thank you for giving us the means to confront and take him down."
David looked up at Mario, looking right at the plumber's smiling face. "Oh...uhhh...okay..."
"So David, what are you gonna do now?" Parakarry asked. "I mean, we just threw your boss in the cooler..."
"I dunno…" David replied. "I've been working for him for so long… I'm not sure how to go on from here."
Mario tapped his chin, then pounded his fist onto his hand in inspiration. "Why don't you join us?" he offered.
"Wh-What!?" David perked. "M-Me?! Ohnononononono… I can't… I-I-I can't..."
"Hey, don't say you can't if you haven't given it a shot yet."
"It would be nice to have some more back-up." E. Gadd mused.
"Nonono...I-I can't go on an adventure with...p-p-people!" David took a breath. "It's nothing against you, Mario. I-I'm just not good with social interaction."
Mario looked at David. It was clear that the Shy Guy wanted to come, but he needed the push. "Well, alright…" the plumber said with a shrug, "We'll just leave you here in this village full of other people..." David stiffened, looking around, his mask making his emotions unclear.
"On second thought, Viva la Revolution! Let's go!"
Luigi chuckled. "Good call, Bro."
"He needed the push." Mario replied.
"Alright, enough dallying," E. Gadd cut in. "We're losing precious time. Come, everyone! Dark Land awaits!"
Dark Land
In his throne room, Bowser was seated before Kamek and Kammy, who were reporting on what they had learned in the Snow Kingdom.
"I-I'm sorry. I think I had a chunk of brimstone stuck in my ear," Bowser picked at his ear before going on, increasingly angry. "I thought I heard you say that after Zalamandr softened him up, and I blew up my Dimble Mountain castle with enough Bob-ombs to blow everything within a hundred miles to Nimbus Land with him at ground zero... Red 'Stache somehow SURVIVED?! "
"Y-Yes, Your Vileness," Kamek stammered.
"And worse!" Kammy added. "We suddenly lost contact with Fryguy. I think he was defeated!"
"WHAT!?" Bowser slammed his throne. "That's FOUR of my Elites! How can a puny human beat someone MADE of FIRE?!"
"And that traitor Parakarry led them to the pipe to Dark Land," Kammy went on. "They'll be here within the hour."
Bowser breathed heavily, steam erupting from his nostrils as his eyes started to glow bright yellow with the rage swirling inside.
"That does it…" He pulled out a cellphone, dialing a number.
" Talk to me. " came a deep voice.
"It's me. A group of rebels are heading for Dark Land via the Frappe Snowland pipe. They took out Fryguy and-"
" I don't need the details, Your Highness. Just need to know who I need to smash. "
Bowser chuckled. "That's what I like about you, Clawgrip. You get straight to the point and you don't ask questions. They're led by a guy in red with a mustache. I want his head on a pike."
" Can do, " Clawgrip replied. " I'll see you in a bit. "
As he hung up, Bowser stood up.
"Alright, while Clawgrip deals with those rebels, we have work to do. If they somehow beat him, I'll have to be extra prepared. Come," he grinned evilly. "Let's go pay Princess Peach a little visit."
Author's Note:
(1): Inspired by scenes in Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 where Toad removes his cap, and by the Dragon Ball Xenoverse duology, which reveals Frieza's race grows their own Bio Suits that can be removed.
(2): Merged Frappé Snowland with Snowman's Land from Super Mario 64.
(3): The snowsuits from Super Mario Odyssey.
(4): Since so many Shy Guys appear in the Yoshi spin-offs, their homeland outside of Subcon is largely Yoshi's Island and the surrounding areas.
(5): The sound they make when they walk in Yoshi's Story.
(6): Basically, Captain Kuro's Out of the Bag Attack.
On the home stretch, baby! Can Team Mario beat Bowser and save the day? Stay tuned...
Eagle-eyed viewers will recognize what Kamek and Kammy's incantation is, and who David's Shy Guy Squad are a reference to.
Voice cast for this chapter:
* David - Matt Stone in the voice of Michael the Goth Kid
* David's Shy Guy Squad - Alex Hirsch in his different voices for Gravity Falls' Gnomes
* Fryguy - Mark Hamill (Py-Ro in Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex, Luke Skywalker, Joker in Batman: Arkham and the DCAU, Ozai in Avatar: The Last Airbender, Trickster in The Flash, Hobgoblin in Spider-Man: The Animated Series, Undergrowth in Danny Phantom, Master Eraqus in Kingdom Hearts)
Please R&R. Until next time!