Super-Bus

"Okay…You've got this. Concentrate."

Bus composed himself with everything he had. The fans were cheering his name in the stands, believing wholeheartedly in their idol. The entirety of this game depended on him for these final few seconds. He needed to be careful, calculated, and quick. He breathed in through his nose.

He caught the ball and ran as fast as his legs could take him. The Ravens jumped at him, trying to hold on and knock him down, but none could topple the tallest player. He ran 20 yards to the other side of the field.

Touchdown.

The crowd roared in glorious victory. The Tits tried to pick up Bus to raise him up in the air, but after trying and failing doe to his size, they still cheered around him.

This wouldn't happen in any other game, but this was different. The Tits have met the qualifications.

They made it to the Superbowl.

The announcer yelled into the mic.

"Touchdown!!! Touchdown!!! For the first time ever, the Tits have qualified for the Superbowl!!! THEY MADE IT!!!"

As of the crowd couldn't get any rowdier, they grew louder after hearing from the announcer. The Tits left victoriously, leaving the Ravens in the dust.

After the team got changed out of their football outfits, they all stood in a circle and talked the rest of the day away in the locker room. Chad Spikes came up from behind Bus and pat him on the back.

"Ay, good job, man! I knew we could count on ya!"

Bus laughed a bit while glancing over to him.

"Thanks, man."

Mike chuckled a bit and rolled his eyes.

"Of course we could. You're a living tank, for crying out loud!"

Bus knew what Mike was trying to do and played it off cooly.

"You're just jealous, because I'm built like a bus, and you're built like a bus driver."

"What!? What's that supposed to mean!? Were those supposed to be fighting words?"

"How about you come and find out?"

The rest of the guys knew what was about to go down and backed up a bit. They snickered and whispered amongst each other as Mike smirked and started to stretch his arm, later pouncing at Bus. The two tackled each other and started play-fighting. The others started to join in one by one, creating a cartoon-ish dustcloud.

(Author's note: If this is what sigma male energy is like, then I don't want it.)

However, they became too loud, and as someone pounded on the door, all of them stopped in their tracks.

"Hey! Keep it down in there!" The coach yelled from behind the door. "You know how the fans will react if they discover you're in here!!"

They all became silent and slowly got off of the floor, not before Cider started imitating him quietly with a mocking tone.

"nYeHhHh, I'm Mr. CoAcH mAn! MaKe SuRe NoT tO hAvE fUn! NyEhHhHhHh!!!"

The coach knocked on the door again.

"What was that, Dixon?"

He tried to hold back his laughter as he responded.

"Nothing!!"

Mike facepalmed.

"Dixon, you're so immature. It matches your name."

"Hey! I didn't choose my name, y'know! Plus, your name isn't very pretty either, Mr. C*ck."

"It's Hawk!"

"Yeah, until you say it with Mike…"

They flipped each other off.

"F*ck you!"

"F*ck you, too!"

Ben broke in before things could escalate.

"Anyways…to celebrate us being the best team in existence, I'm hosting a party at my place on the 14th! Anyone care to join?"

Most of the teammates were really excited, except for a select few, one of which being Bus. He was the first one to speak up.

"The 14th? You mean…on Valentine's Day?"

Ben saw no issue, doubling down.

"Yeah, dude! You in? We've gotta have the face of our team join in on all the fun, after all!"

Bus wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to miss Valentine's Day without Tired, but how was he going to explain that to his teammates?

"Well, uhh…I actually have something planned on that day…"

"On Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah…"

Almost everyone turned their heads to stare at him. All of them were thinking the same thing, but only Reinhardt spoke up.

"B…Bus, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Pfft- Noooooo!"

Mike raised an eyebrow at him, seeing right through his lies. As soon as he saw that, he let out a sigh of defeat.

"Yeahhhh…"

Hugh was the next person to ask him a question.

"So…who is it?"

"Well, she has a trait similar to Naanee."

Legedu looked at him in confusion and tried to pry in further.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's Naanee- ya business."

The rest of the teammates groaned, disappointed that they got nothing from him. However, Mike still pryed further.

"We're just gonna keep asking, Jibbus."

Bus hesitated. He knew that Mike was right. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He finally caved.

"Okay…but just don't tell the coach, okay?"

"Why the hell would we tell the coach?" Lashio sassed.

"Because…my girlfriend is Tired."

There was silence radiating throughout the entire room.

"...Wait a second…"

"You mean the Tired?"

"Dude, isn't she an Anti-Tits cult leader???"

Bus rolled his eyes.

"Okay, first of all, it's not a cult. It's a community. Second of all, I thought you guys knew about this! Weren't there rumors about her and I all over the news?"

Spikes spoke up for all of them.

"None of us watch the news anymore. We see too much negativity and false claims about us. Believe it or not, we don't actually like hearing about ourselves most of the time."

"...Fair." Bus responded.

Reinhardt started to laugh, having a realization.

"Ohhhh, man! Coach would freak out if he knew about this!"

Bus nodded.

"That's why I told you guys to keep it a secret! If word gets out, he could have another screw loose!"

Diamond spoke up in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Alright, anyone not coming to the party on that day, raise your hand."

A few of the most famous players raised their hands, including Mike, surprisingly enough. Diamond knew that if he scheduled that day, not a lot of people were going to come.

"Fine. How about the day before, then."

Everyone nodded, though they didn't really pay attention. All they wanted to do was ask questions. It was foreign to them to have Bus actually date someone, let alone someone that was supposed to hate them. Mike smirked.

"So wait…You're meaning to tell me that you have all these women falling down at your feet, and you still chose the one woman that hates you?"

Bus scoffed and forrowed his eyebrows at him.

"She doesn't hate me! She just has a hard time of showing affection. Plus, she's the only one that treats me like an actual human being, as opposed to some…I dunno…god?"

"Pfft- Yeah, right. I think you just have a humiliation f3tish that you haven't opened up about yet."

"You little sh!t!!!"

"Bring it!!!"

Once again, the dustcloud formed, and all of them fought "to the death", completely ignoring anyone telling them to be quiet this time.

The Tits may have won, but they were still a mess.