Chapter 14 - A Hint of Hope

Author's Note: Slowly but steadily, we are approaching the end. :')

~ Amina Gila

Sometimes, Ahsoka finds it hard to believe it's been an entire year since the Empire formed. But today is Empire Day, marking the anniversary of when everything happened.

And her and Anakin are expected to celebrate. Well, of course, they are.

The party she's attending is beyond stupid – especially when she loathes so much of this, but her hate makes her stronger – but there is nothing that makes it a little more tolerable.

Lux is here with her, though she knows he doesn't like this any more than she does. Actually, probably less.

She had no idea how to dance at first, but Lux insisted it would be easy. It turns out it was – especially because she's very good at coordinated movements of a similar nature, has to be to be a fighter. It's a slow dance, but with Lux here, she can actually enjoy it, at least for a few moments.

Finally, the dance comes to an end, and Ahsoka leans closer, wrapping her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. Sometimes, she wishes things could go further, but... that wouldn't be fair unless he knew the truth. The very thought of him knowing fills her with... fear. She doubts he would reject her, but in some ways, that almost makes it worse.

Lux found out what her and Anakin do a while back – with her eyes, she could hardly keep it a secret – but for as much as they can, her and Anakin just don't talk about what happened. Padme and Lux don't know anything more than they need to, and she's perfectly content in keeping it that way.

"What are you thinking about so much?" Lux asks teasingly, tracing his fingers over the back of her lekku.

"Us. Everything," she admits.

He pulls back, enough that their eyes meet. "Is something bothering you?"

Her throat feels suddenly dry, and her stomach flips nervously. "I – There's something I should tell you. Sometime."

He frowns. "What?"

She swallows hard. Why did she ever start talking about this? Yes, it's his right to know, but – "Can we do it later? I just – "

She's never been so grateful in her life to hear the sound of her beeping comm. It's Padme. "Yes?" she asks.

"It's getting late, Ahsoka. You should come home soon."

"Still worrying about your bedtime?" asks Lux, faintly amused.

"As always," Ahsoka says with a smirk, though it's mostly feigned. That's not the reason Padme is calling her back, and they both know it, even if no one talks about it. It has to be for something important. Something... not so legal. With how much time she and Anakin spend around Sidious and the other Inquisitors, they can't afford to think about any rebel activity much, but she helps with the little she can, and just pretends to be willfully blind to everything else she knows Padme and Lux are involved in.

"See you later then, Ahsoka." Lux takes her hand and walks with her towards the door. The Celebration of Stupidity and Corruption is still going on behind them, and she thinks it will actually be a relief to be away from the noise.

"You too," she gives him a small smile.

"Be careful," he adds.

"Always." She nods, before slipping out the door. She pauses a moment as she catches sight of her reflection on the side of the gleaming speeder.

Blue.

Her eyes are blue, for probably the first time in... she doesn't even know. They're almost always yellow now.

Apparently, she got more lost in having a good time with Lux than she remembered. She already aches to be back with him – more and more she thinks she really wants to... take things a step further – but for now, she has other matters to attend to.

**w**

"What happened?" Anakin inquires, as soon as he, Padme, and Ahsoka are alone together. He can sense Padme's emotions – a mix of anxiety, hope, and fear. Something major happened, and he needs to know what. He can guess what it probably has to do with, though, and he immediately tightens his shields just a little, to make sure Sidious won't pick up on anything.

"I got a message," Padme explains, and his nervousness skyrockets. She throws a brief glance around as though to make sure no one is around before continuing. "From Obi-Wan."

Anakin stills. "What?" he breaths, faintly. He hasn't heard any word from him, for the entire year. He misses him like he'd miss rain on Tatooine, a constant ache that never goes away, even if he's come to accept that... this is how it will be for now. He has no idea if he's okay or safe or what's happening, but he knows he would have heard and felt if he died. He's alive, and that's the most he can know for now.

But why is Obi-Wan contacting Padme?! Why would he risk something like that?! If anyone realizes what Padme's involved in, Anakin doesn't want to think about what will happen. It will be the end of everything he has now. She'll be executed for treason. Sidious will never trust Anakin again assuming he doesn't kill him and Ahsoka... No, he doesn't even want to think about it.

(Not to mention his children. He knows Sidious has noticed how strong Luke and Leia are in the Force, but Anakin is only thankful that for now they're far too little to be trained. He doesn't want them to have a like this like – the kind of life he dragged Ahsoka into. He doesn't want to fail his children again)

Maybe most of the galaxy wouldn't actually believe in Padme's guilt, but Sidious would. Anakin and Padme's marriage went public, along with the fact that Anakin is one of the only Jedi loyal to the Empire who now works as the Emperor's right hand. Which means that anything Padme says against the Empire is completely discredited, often as nothing more than an attempt by her to drag the rebellion into trouble. It's what most of the populace believes, even if Lux, Bail, Mothma, and others – the less Anakin knows about their secret identities, the better – know otherwise. Sidious is watching her closely, though. Anakin knows that much.

"It wasn't direct," she hastily reassures. That makes him feel a little better, but only a little. He knows Padme has... contacts, but Sidious could still figure out.

"What did he want?" Ahsoka asks.

"They are... working on a plan. They didn't give me details, but they have a way that might work to lure Sidious off Coruscant. He wants to know if you'll help."

For a moment, he can hardly breathe, especially not with his surge of fear for how this will turn out. For how it could end for Obi-Wan. For how it could end for every single one of them. (For the very thought of Palpatine being dead.)

They're planning to kill him. Anakin knew that was coming eventually. He also knows that until then, his family won't be safe.

But this is – this is his mentor that they're talking about, someone he always looked up. A part of him has... already accepted that he's not the person Anakin thought he was, and he's considered killing him in the past, but hearing it spelled out, about to happen, is...

Maybe it needs to be done, but that doesn't mean he wants this.

"We have to," Ahsoka declares firmly, determination blazing in her eyes. It's so simple for her. She doesn't know Palpatine. She only knows Sidious, and she rightfully hates him. "Of course, we will."

Ahsoka pauses, throwing a questioning glance at Anakin.

He knows what he needs to say in response to this, so why is it so hard? Why does it hurt so much? It feels like he's betraying him, in a way worse than what Obi-Wan did to him back in the Hardeen incident, even if... maybe he doesn't owe him that same level of loyalty.

"I... need to think about it," he answers finally, hollowly. It feels wrong to consider it with an actual intent to carry through with it, even if he knows they need to. And if Obi-Wan is planning to go after him anyway, it's almost down to a choice between the two of them. And that very thought fills him with a chilling fear. "They want us to coordinate our attack?"

"At the very least, they want to make sure you won't intervene on his side," Padme replies.

Anakin wordlessly shakes his head. He has to pick sides in this. There's no choice, and it's not really a question of what side he has to choose. There is only one side he can choose, even if he's not sure the guilt of that will ever go away. (Anymore than it will for all the other things he's done.) "I... I'll help," he answers at last. If Sidious finds out about this, they're all done for. He doesn't even want to think about how the Sith would react if he finds out about this. Anakin can only hope he can't sense his intentions right now, because he... often seems to.

Padme seems relieved. "I knew you would," she smiles, "I told them as much already. When you need to communicate more, I will tell my contact." And this was exactly what Anakin was hoping to avoid all this time, dragging Padme right into the middle of it. If they do this, it will mean she will take the fall for it if they are discovered.

That means she can't stay here. It's too much of a risk either way. If they fail, Anakin knows Sidious will take the twins to raise as Sith. They need to be as far away from here as possible before this happens, preferably somewhere even Anakin and Ahsoka don't know where to look.

He needs time to think about all of this. It feels like everything is about to fall apart, and he doesn't know if it's for better or worse.

**w**

"Are you alright?" Ahsoka asks, following Anakin as he leaves the room. She can tell he's clearly not happy about this at all, and she supposes she can get why. Somewhat. She knows he still... cares for Palpatine, even if she can't fathom why. And, of course, if this goes wrong, they could lose everything. Her mind drifts to one-year-old Luke and Leia sleeping peacefully in the next room. Her little siblings. She doesn't want this to change. But it's inevitable. They can't leave Sidious in control.

Anakin breaths out a quiet sigh, not answering for a few moments. "I am fine."

That is definitely a lie. "I know he was your friend..." Ahsoka begins, hesitantly.

"I know we must do this," Anakin interjects. Definitely a sign he doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe she shouldn't push, but it also means he probably needs to talk, even if not right now.

"Yes," Ahsoka agrees, "But I can understand it if you're reluctant." There's a lot more she could say, but it wouldn't really help right now. Instead she steps closer, wrapping her arms tightly around him. Anakin returns it equally fiercely, and she can feel his surge of protectiveness, and... carefully concealed fear. Of course.

"Padme cannot stay here," Anakin declares firmly after a moment.

Ahsoka blinks. "What? Why?"

"If we do not succeed, he will..." A pang of chilling fear grips her, the memories of the Jedi Masters Sidious killed burning far too clearly at the forefront of her mind.

"We won't fail," Ahsoka whispers, but she thinks it sounds more like a prayer than a promise. They can't afford to. They can't.

"It is still a chance," Anakin replies quietly, and she tightens her grip.

"I know," she breaths, "We... we need to prepare." What that involves though, she isn't really sure.

"He will see it coming," Anakin warns.

She freezes. "He won't know we're involved," she protests, desperately. Of course, Sidious will sense something, but they need an element of surprise here.

"He may sense it. We must be prepared."

"How?" she wonders. They can set up an elaborate trap for him to walk into, but she can't be sure even that will be enough.

"He will have reinforcements with him," Anakin reminds.

"Then we need backup, too, that he won't see coming," Ahsoka declares, but thinking about it, her mind only draws up blanks. "What about the clones?" That wouldn't work, though, because they all have chips, and they'll do everything Sidious tells them, even if they'd much prefer to listen to Anakin. The 501st had been with them when they marched on the Temple. And most of them are gone now. She doesn't want to think about it, because most of her friends are dead now, whether during the time she wasn't around to know them, or during that attack. She never expected when she left that she wouldn't fight alongside the clones again until she was attacking the Temple.

"On an upcoming mission, we could... free them," he suggests, "But it will be risky, and Sidious may learn of our plan before we carry it out."

"Then we should go there expecting he knows we're coming," Ahsoka decides grimly. It's all she can think of now.

**w**

Technically the initial effect of the chips wore off not long after Order 66, but the clones are still being controlled to a point, and the chips could easily be reactivated again. He tells Padme to send a message that they need a little more time to prepare, and then, they wait.

The next mission Anakin is on where he actually has the chance, he secretly has Rex taken to the medbay and de-chipped. He leaves Ahsoka elsewhere, to make sure that they don't get interrupted, and to cover for both of them.

He breaths out a quiet sigh of relief when the surgery is finally complete. It's some minutes later that Rex slowly opens his eyes. "Rex?" Anakin asks, "How are you feeling?"

"I'll be fine, sir," he assures. He slowly sits up, reaching up to touch a hand to his head, to the area where they cut out the chip. "I am just... thankful to have it out of me."

Anakin nods, nearly wincing. To think he led the mind-controlled army on the Temple that got so many of them killed. He had no idea of any of that until it was too late, and by then... he could hardly argue with Sidious about it.

"I'm sorry," Anakin murmurs after a moment, "I should have taken care of this sooner." He didn't want to leave the clones with chips in them, but the risks were too great. He should have listened to Fives. Then, so much of this could have been avoided. Force, what is wrong with him?

"None of us believed Fives." Rex shakes his head. "That isn't on you, sir."

It is, though, because these were his men, and this happened to them because of him. They can only move forwards now, though, and de-chip the rest of the boys who are left.

He can only hope that they'll be able to do it without catching anyone's attention. He's taken as many precautions as he can, but anything more, and people are definitely going to start getting suspicious.

Still, he can't shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong,

**w**

The day they planned for comes far too quickly. All Anakin knows is that he's not ready. He's not ready to turn his back on all of this, risking losing it again. He's not ready to face Obi-Wan again either. He's not ready to turn on Sidious – the one person who always at least wanted him... though in the end, it was only for his own purposes – and he's definitely not ready to face Sidious once the Sith Master finds out about his betrayal.

But he won't ever be ready. For any of that.

The tension hanging in the air is practically palpable, and Anakin is just grateful that Sidious has had other engagements the past few days, so he hasn't had to spend time around him. He doesn't think he would have been able to completely keep up his act.

The first thing that definitely tips Anakin off that something may be slightly wrong is when he hears nothing about Sidious' plan to disappear off world. He only heard of it from... other sources. Sidious left, and Maul disappeared too, so he can only assume they're walking into the trap. Although he can't shake the feeling that it's with full knowledge of what they're getting into.

The only reason Sidious would have taken Maul there instead of Anakin is if he knew Obi-Wan was there. And suspected that Anakin would turn on him. Fear is clawing at him, but there's nothing he can do except keep going through with the plan. It's Sidious or his family, and there's only one choice he would make in those circumstances.

"We have everything ready," Padme declares, pulling him into a brief hug, kissing him.

"Good," Anakin replies, with a determination he definitely does not feel.

He reaches down, picking up Luke and Leia for what could well be the last time. They gurgle happily, leaning against his shoulders, but he can tell they're a lot more subdued than usual. They can obviously feel the atmosphere, through the Force.

He loves them both more than anything. He'd do anything to protect them – he already has – and he won't let all of that be for nothing. He doesn't want to think about how this may be the last time he sees any of them. But at least if they're safely away from Sidious, that will be one thing he won't have to worry about when he's confronting the Sith.

Finally, he passes them back to Padme.

"When are they getting here?" Ahsoka queries.

"I'm going to meet them," Padme replies, "This is nothing more than a... simple meeting with friends."

"That will be safest." Anakin agrees quietly. He hates this, how everything is up in the air now. And he's dragging Ahsoka right back into the danger the same way he did a year ago, and again, he knows he could never make her leave, even if it would be for the best if he did this alone.

"Good luck," Padme murmurs, and he can see the fear in her eyes. "Be careful. Both of you. Don't do anything stupid."

"This whole idea is stupid," Ahsoka says lightly. But the joke falls flat, because it's so true.

"It is," she agrees, "But you won't be alone. He can't be that powerful, can he?"

"I don't know," Anakin replies. He wants to say no, but he knows better. He doesn't want her to worry too much, but he can't give her false hope. Not in the face of this. "Just stay away with the twins, until all of this is over. If something happens – "

"Don't say that," she cuts him off, "You'll be fine. You'll be back here before you know it." She doesn't truly believe it, he knows, but it's easier that way. She's letting them go for the greater good of the galaxy, and Anakin wishes he could do the same so easily. He can't and never will, though. He'll always protect his family.

"If anything happens," he continues, "Stay hidden. No matter what." It's all he can ask for. It's only that assurance, that Luke and Leia will survive, that gives him the strength to do this, when he's risking everyone else.

Padme stares up at him in silence for a long moment before nodding. "I will."

**w**

It might be the last time Ahsoka sees Lux, and it's not fair to leave without warning him, even if she can't tell him where she's actually going. The fewer who know about this, the better. "I need to tell you something," she confesses, as soon as she's able to pull him out somewhere private that no one will overhear them.

"What you were speaking of the other day?" Lux asks.

Ahsoka shakes her head. "Not that. Not right now. I have to go somewhere. I – I can't say where. But I don't know what's going to happen."

Any lightness is gone instantly. "That sounds serious. Is there anything you can tell me?"

"It's something you would want me to do?" she offers, trying and failing miserably to flash hm a smile.

"Something we can't do together?"

She shakes her head. "No. I... Not this time."

"Who will rescue you if you need it?" he asks, teasingly.

"Excuse me?" she huffs, "I rescued you over and over again!"

"Really," he states dubiously.

"Well. there was Carlac, and I think I can count at least two times on Onderon –"

"That was only to keep you around," he retorts with a smirk.

She snorts. "Sure. Then I'll make sure I won't need help this time, to keep you away." That promptly kills the mood again.

Lux sighs quietly. "Whatever you're doing just be careful."

"I will be," she promises.

"And come back."

"Of course." It's an empty promise, and they both know it. She has no way of knowing what will happen, how this is going to turn out. She finally steps forwards, wrapping her arms tightly around him, and they kiss, for what she can only hope won't be the last time.

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