Chapter 22
Though he didn't realize it at the time, a Freudian slip had occurred and in his own, discreet way. Severus Snape had apologized to Harry Potter and the boy had understood the message but could never understand why he had said it.
The sun will be rising soon and Severus had gotten no sleep and was on his sixth or seventh glass of brandy. The boy was interested in potions at the start and continued to try through the years until the last couple of years where Harry was only half listening to his lectures and was only really there because he was obliged. Snape was remembering when the two were in each other's company post war, where he helplessly lay in the hospital bed after being discovered. He remembered how emotional Harry had been to see him and at that point Harry had the answers to questions he didn't know need answering.
At that point, the boy had confirmation that he, Severus Snape did indeed know and loved Lily Evans and didn't know he had let that information slip so long ago. Quite clever of the boy to think outside the box when researching Asphodel and to read into the symbolism of the flower rather than let it end at it being an ingredient in potions, only a Slytherin would be clever enough to come to that conclusion.
Severus began to feel anger the more he thought about it however. The boy never confronted him like the brave Gryffindor he was supposed to be, why? At any point these last years, why didn't Harry approach him and ask him about why he had "apologized" for the loss of his mother? It just didn't make any sense. Perhaps it was the alcohol influencing his actions but before he couldn't think twice, Severus began to walk out of his quarters and approach the portrait of the guarding basilisk. He slurred the damn word that started all this and the portrait opened for him. The boy was obviously asleep but he didn't care, he had every right to get answers. He past the small living space and opened the door to the boys room and before he cast 'Lumos' he saw the boy asleep on his bed only something was different about the boy. The flame of his candle gave enough light for Severus to look at the boy and Snape was confused as to who he was looking at. The sleeping face is Harry's there is no doubt but where did the long hair come from? Severus felt himself sober at the sight he was witnessing before him. He felt the blood drain from his face and his eyes grow.
"Harry?"
Harry opened his eyes to his name being called out and put his glasses on. He saw that Severus was standing at his doorway, looking at him as if he were looking at a ghost. Harry felt bad for the man, he looked so tired.
"Sir, Sev'rus? You okay?"
Severus couldn't get the words past his lips, his mouth was dry. Before him was Harry Potter, his student, friend and former bane of his existence in a green dress with long hair? It made no sense; he had never seen anyone or anything like this before. Harry, still waking up, continued to look at Snape worryingly.
"Severus? Are you okay?" Harry asked again, louder with concern. Severus finally blinked, and then again. He took a small step forward and then took his eyes off the…boy…and looked around the room slowly, taking in what he was seeing. An open book beside his dresser with what appeared to be instructions on braids on the page, a magazine clearly meant for adolescent woman. A large hair brush which had been presumably used on Harry's long hair. He saw on the end of the bed were green underwear, clearly meant for a girl. Harry followed Snapes eyes onto the underwear and then as Snape looked at Harry again still not saying a word, Harry looked down at himself.
"Shit!" Harry cursed loudly.
Harry was in his dress, he must have fallen asleep in his dress and now Snape was here, in the middle of the night seeing him…like this!
"Harry? What's…" Severus couldn't get the question out. Looking at Harry in the eyes, he saw them begin to water. He had never seen such shame and self-disgust on a person beside himself before.
"Please…" Harry began to plead quietly. Snape didn't know what to do or say. He couldn't even remember why he had come here anymore.
"Please…Please don't tell!" Harry cried, jumping out of his bed and locking himself in the bathroom. On the other side of the door, Severus could hear loud sobbing and felt absolutely helpless. He didn't know what to do. The teacher had caught boys stealing female classmates' delicates before as trophies or pranks. He's caught students in explicit sexual acts many times and knew what to do in those situations. He knew how to confront, bully and punish students for breaking rules and making sure that they forever remember the time that Snape caught them having sex but he had no experience in this matter. He's heard of kinks relating to this subject but that's all he knows.
Still whimpering, Severus placed his hand on the door knob, about to open it but then what? What could he do? He let go of the knob and softly called out before leaving.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you, Harry."
The sobs of shame could be heard even when the man stood in the hallway.