Ember POV:
I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and braided it down. Once I secured the end with a tie, I grabbed the hemline of my pajama pants. It was time to get dressed and I hadn't looked at my legs yet. I pulled the pants down like one would rip a band-aid off. Quickly and holding my breath. I looked over the area and noticed it looked like I had burned myself. The tissue was an angry red and slightly bubbled. I ran a finger over it, and then nearly jumped out of my skin when someone knocked on my door. I had been shielding myself mentally so Edward wouldn't hear anything but that wouldn't stop someone from seeing it. I pulled my pants back up and said, "Come in." In a normal tone as whoever it was would hear fine.
"I just wanted to check on you and ask if you slept any better last night." My mom said after entering my room.
"Yeah, I slept really well actually. Maybe I just needed a rest day." I responded quickly, playing with the ties on my pants.
"Good. I am so glad to hear it. You know we let you stay home when you aren't feeling well but if you are ever feeling like you need a bit more rest, that's okay too. We don't mind letting you have a rest day every once in a while, especially with how busy you are." She spoke sincerely and it made my heart warm.
"Thank you , Mom. I will let you know but I think I am good now."
"Right. Well I will let you finish getting ready." She left, shutting my door behind her. I waited ten second before going over and locking it as quietly as I could. Once I did, I dressed quickly. I threw on leggings, an oversized forest green sweater, and my doc Martins. After begging Alice to take my tastes into consideration, I had a wardrobe I actually adored. It was a mixture of sleek athletic for dancing and simple "goes with everything" items for my school attire. I remembered to swap out the tights in my dance bag with the package of extremely opaque tights I had bought by accident one time. I'd have to remember to buy more.
I still had about fifteen minutes and I glanced in the mirror once again. I couldn't stop. It wasn't like I was admiring myself, just the opposite actually. I guess I never had much time to care about what I looked like before but for whatever reason I was feeling extremely self conscious lately. I had gained weight since moving here and actually eating regularly. This was something I had been happy about but now looking in the mirror I was thinking maybe I should have been more mindful. I already didn't have the ballerina body. Gosh my thighs! I turned to the side and then the other. I then looked at my face and shook my head. My face had filled out. I glared at the reflection and then marched to my bathroom. I knew how to do my make up, competition dance prepared me, but I didn't use it regularly. I just felt like covering up as much of myself as I possibly could. I didn't want to recognize myself. I put on my foundation, concealer, blush, bronzer. I looked intently at my face. I leaned closer to the mirror scrutinizing my face. I then put on some light brown eye shadow, mascara, a bit of brow pencil, and finally a nude-pink lipgloss. I sat back. I looked. I glared. I pulled my hair out of its braid, shaking my head so it fell around my face. I normally had my hair up as it was required for dance anyway but I felt It would hide me a bit more. I remembered the other reason I wore it up four seconds after I left the bathroom and went to put on my backpack.
My hair got caught under the strap as I put it on and as I went to pull it out from under, it tugged and became snagged in the adjustable bit. I grumbled and dropped the backpack onto the bed, hair still attached. I pulled and wiggled until I was free. My hair was seriously long and irritating. It reached down to my lower back as I had only ever trimmed it. I am not sure why as it was always up, but I liked having it long. I gathered my hair into one hand, put one strap on my shoulder, switched my hair to my other hand, and put the other strap on. I grabbed my dance bag and keys then headed out of my room.
Entering the kitchen, both of my parents stopped talking and looked at me. I felt awkward and paused on my way to the door. "What?" I asked.
"Do you have a presentation today?" Dad asked.
"….No. I just felt like it." I gestured to the make up.
"Next time do leave enough time to have a proper meal, even if you are getting fully ready." My mom said.
I blushed, feeling embarrassed and extremely self-conscious.
"I'm really not a breakfast person." I said softly once I couldn't come up with anything else. I could see they were going to protest. "It makes me feel a little nauseous when I eat so early. I actually meant to ask about that. Can I start taking a breakfast with me to eat at morning break? A simple breakfast bar and some fruit or something would be fine."
"When is your break?" Mom asked. I could tell she was fighting against wanting to feed me and wanting to be understanding.
"10:15. My stomach is … more awake by then." I responded.
My mom put some strawberries and a breakfast protein bar in a small container and handed it to me with a bottle of orange juice. The entire process took her five seconds. "Okay, sweetheart. That is fine. Take these."
"Thank you." I responded as she kissed my cheek. I waved goodbye and got in my car.
—-
Upon entering the school I opened the container, planning on dumping the food. I hesitated. Years I had been deprived and forced to not eat. Now it was me forcing it? Well It isn't like I'd starve. I always had to eat dinner because they would notice if I didn't. I could eat this small breakfast for lunch instead of getting a full school lunch. I settled on that and shoved the container in my bag. I was feeling much more in control today. It was a feeling I didn't know how much I missed. I was in control of my body, pain, and hunger.
—-
After three weeks, I was maintaining my image of perfection much easier. My clothes hung off me a little now and to me it felt like a success. When people at school complemented my make up or my peers at dance congratulated me on dropping a few pounds, I felt elated. This was something easy I could be perfect at. The rest was a little harder at first. I was finding concentrating in class exceptionally difficult because my stomach twisted in protest of my fast. I was lethargic at dance. However, my stomach must have shrunk or something because after the first week I was used to it and back at the top. The only calories I was really intaking these days was some fruit at lunch, about 40oz of black coffee throughout the day, and dinner. I was noticing differences in myself and I also found that the scars I gave myself with ice felt more like trophies than shameful displays of disappointment like the ones my father had given me.
My thighs were littered with red fresh burns as well as old faded marks. I would run my fingers over them when I felt overwhelmed. The sting that accompanied it didn't hurt much but it did enough to calm me throughout the day until I could be alone at night to add to them.
—-
"So the Sadie Hawkins dance is this Friday and I was wondering if you were going to ask me." Alex was turned completely around in his chair talking to me. He had joined a group project with me and Sam a few weeks back and since then he had been sitting with us at lunch. He was smart, funny, and over all extremely decent when compared to other teenage boys. I actually enjoyed conversing with him.
I blinked. "It's girls choice." I said simply.
"Yeah so are you going to ask me?" He spoke again, smiling at me.
"I think you asking me to ask you sort of defeats the purpose." I responded.
He sighed. "Well I want you to ask me." He looked at me seriously then and I felt …what did I feel? Pleased?
"Will you go with me to the dance on Friday?" I asked before I really knew that I was.
He actually looked surprised. "I thought you'd never ask." He responded sarcastically.
I rolled my eyes. "I might not have." I then gestured for him to turn around because Mr. Howard was walking back toward the front.
I looked over at Sam who had the expression of "Score!" On her face for me, which made me giggle.
—-
"What are you going to wear? You have to wear a dress. Have you ever worn a dress?" Sam was ecstatic.
"I have worn a dress. I don't know yet. I will probably ask Alice to help me." I responded, setting aside ten blueberries and half of my protein bar before putting the rest back in the container.
Sam never noticed my strange eating habits, but Alex did.
"Careful you wouldn't want to actually feel full." He commented, sarcasm covering a hint of worry.
"Bite me." I said.
We had been jokingly taunting of each other since the beginning of the friendship and it felt fun. This exchange was a little tense and I noted mentally to be better about hiding my habits from him.
He snapped his mouth in my direction, causing me to roll my eyes. The tenseness eased.
"Red! You have to wear red. You are blonde. Blondes look HOT in red." Sam continued.
"I'll make a note of that." I said to her, laughing slightly.
"Please do." Said Alex.
I flushed.
—-
"This is some of my best work." Alice stated, standing back to take in what she had done to my face. My eyelids were gold while the crease was smokey with black eyeshadow. She had attached some very real looking false lashes and given me a bold red lip. Rosalie had done my hair.
"You know, red is my color. I am willing to share because I like you, but just so you know." Rosalie had told me as finished the last curl. My hair was loosely curled, hanging behind me. The front portion on one side was clipped back so you could see my ruby earrings. Alice had been over the moon at getting to take me shopping for the dance. Mom and Dad were surprised I was going, but happy that I was.
I think the happiness was short lived for Dad when He saw the dress Alice had put me in. I had been practicing my magic a little, wanting to know the extent of how much I could hide myself and found that I could glamour my scars. Both the ones my father had given me and the ones I inflicted. This was extremely helpful because Alice has no sense of personal space or privacy in a fitting room. You'd think she was seven and I was her Barbie.
I walked into the hall with my sisters, all of whom were going to the dance as well with my brothers. Alice wore a woodsy green short dress. It was off the shoulder with billowy sleeves and a loose flouncy skirt. She wore baby's breath in a crown shape on her head. resembling an earthy pixie, which was fitting. She looked ethereal. Rosalie was in a bright cherry red sparkly dress that nearly touched the floor. It shimmered subtly and made her look every bit the tall model I always pictured her as. Bella was dressed in a sapphire blue smooth dress. It was the most modest looking as it had a straight neck across and went three inches above her knee. She looked elegant. The dress I wore was a deeper red than Rosalies and made of a silky material. It was thin strapped at the shoulders, backless, and went down to about mid thigh. It was ruched at the waist, falling down over my hips in looser ruching. I wore red strappy heels to match which gave me three more inches in height.
The problem that was currently causing my dad to look like he was going to block the exits for all of us except Bella were the neck lines on mine and Rosalies dress as well as our slits up the leg. Rosalie's had two slits on either side along up all the way nearly to the top of her thighs. Mine had one and it wasn't quite as high, but the gap between the fabric was significantly wider. Rosalies was only apparent when she walked. Mine was staring you in the face. I blushed.
"Alice-" My Dad's voice was strained.
"Daddy its the style! And we all can take care of ourselves." Alice spoke, protective over her creations.
"Alice. Ember is seventeen. Not permanently. Just turned seventeen. She does not need to look twenty-one." He looked like he was on the verge of an aneurysm.
"Don't you all look stunning!" Mom gasped, waving us together so she could get a picture.
"Esme!" Dad protested, gesturing to my dress.
"Enough, Carlisle. She is within the dress code the school set and her siblings would ravage anyone who even got close to her with ill-intentions." Mom was now rapidly snapping pictures and my dad looked like his head was going to explode. This made all the pictures turn out great because we were all giggling and smiling. The boys had looked very appreciative of their respective mates.
"You're a Vision, Darling. It's like I am looking at a piece of heaven." Jasper's charming southern drawl came out full force, making Alice giggle with delight.
"Oh Major, Whitlock!" She responded and passionately kissed him for an uncomfortable amount of time.
I made a fake gagging face, which made the rest of my siblings snort with laughter. They broke apart and Alice stuck her tongue out at me, knowing exactly what I did.
We headed downstairs and had just reached it when the door bell rang. I answered it, knowing it was Alex coming to join us in the ridiculous limo Alice insisted we rent. This school definitely treated every dance like it was prom.
Alex's jaw dropped as he looked me up and down. I flushed, extremely self-conscious of how much skin I was showing. Maybe Dad was right.
"Ember you you you ….look…you" He sputtered before my dad stepped in front of me. Alex's eyes immediately snapped away from my dress, or more specifically, my chest area.
"Mr. Cullen, Hi. It's very nice to meet you, Ember has told me so much." He said politely.
"Did she tell you I have access to all medical tools necessary for an untraceable murde-"
My mom led Alex to the living room, who looked rightfully petrified, and turned back whispering something to my dad too low to hear. It must have been a threat, though, because he sighed defeated and followed without protest.
My mom got pictures of us all with our dates. Alex, after noticing my Dad's watchful eye, all but hovered his hand over my waist. His grasp left immediately after each photo. I think he was sufficiently scared by the time we were all piling into the limo.
As we drove and I smiled and realized I was already having a really great time. I just had to be extra aware of keeping my shield up with a dress like this on. Alex, for the most part, quietly enjoyed the ride listening to my siblings chat. He was introverted like me, but really seemed to be enjoying being around my big family. It might have something to do with the fact that Jasper was amplifying everyone jovial mood. It might also have something to do with the fact that we were sitting in close proximity and we kept making shy, flirty eye contact.
I had never felt any type of romantic emotion before. It made me want to giggle as much as it made me want to throw up. I texted Sam about where to meet up a few minutes before we arrived. When Alex and I walked up to her, She looked like she was going to scream with excitement.
"LOOK AT YOU! I TOLD YOU RED WOULD MAKE YOU LOOK HOT!" She started yelling before we were even within ten feet of her. I blushed deeply and Alex quietly added into my ear.
"I won't use those exact words in fear of your Dad showing up out of a dark corner with a syringe of general anesthesia, but I couldn't agree with Sam more."
I laughed out and then responded. "You don't look too shabby yourself. Let's have a great night tonight."
"Lets." He said simply.
A/N: Some angst, some overprotective Carlisle, some depression, some young love. This chapter has it all. Leave me a review if you enjoyed. What do you think will happen?
Thank you readers! 3