Disclaimer: I do not own anything you may recognize

Thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed or reviewed this fic so far.

Been a while since we were here, people, but I finally got an idea for a chapter here after rewatching Buffyverse stuff and fuelling myself with Buffyverse angst that I was full of from mid-2020 to the start of 2022, and now I'm full of it again.

Consider this my Valentine's Day Special, as its 2 days from now. Nothing happens for me on Valentine's Day, though I do get slapped the next day every time, LMAO!

This was inspired by 3 Spuffy videos- 'Spike and Buffy | The Story' by 'GossipVal1' and then 'Buffy and Spike - Dark Paradise (Life after Spike's death)' and 'Buffy and Spike: Hymn For The Missing One (The Return of Spike)' by 'a Slayerett - always and forever'.

Enjoy.

Kwisatz Haderach: Thanks for the review. Very funny indeed. What's funnier is the show was one of the worst things created by the MCU so they wasted Josh's talent in that garbage.

Chapter 67- I'm never ready for you to not be here

Earth-92

Buffy with her friends stared at the crater that used to be Sunnydale, a smile across her face due to Dawn's question of what they were gonna do now.

And, she had no idea. The smile was to give off a façade of strength to her friends, who always looked to her in situations like these.

What would she do now? She had lost Spike. He had sacrificed himself to save the world. That was never something she thought would happen, but it had.

She still couldn't believe it. He was a dangerous Vampire who had killed 2 Slayers, and had come to town to kill her. Then, he had teamed up with her to stop the even worse Angelus, before leaving with Drusilla, promising never to return.

He hadn't kept that promise of course, as he'd returned after Drusilla had dumped him, but he'd managed to find his swagger again and had gone off to proposition her.

Only, he'd come back again as a recurring enemy, then gotten chipped. The chip prevented him from hurting humans, which was why he had become their 'ally', which was a loose term, but he was one. He still wanted them dead at the time, but he helped them every now and then so he could fight.

That had all changed when he had fallen in love with her. She felt nothing but disgust over this fact back then. Every good thing he did then, was to impress her. And there was the bot.

But then, he had not told Glory about Dawn in spite of all the torture she had inflicted upon him. That was when she had realized, he could be more. And she could feel for him too.

So she had trusted him to look out for Dawn in the final battle against Glory, and then she had returned. At first, he had tried to help her, but when they had kissed, he had reverted to his baser instincts, now trying to draw her into the shadows with him by taking advantage of her bad mental condition.

The two of them were nothing but toxic and abusive to each other, fighting and barely consenting before making love. While it was physically satisfying, emotionally, neither one had ever been satisfied.

Getting her wakeup call, she had broken up with him, but then there was what he had almost done in the bathroom. He had thought this was no different from what they used to do before, and so he had forced himself upon her, until she had kicked him away.

She never thought she could love him after that. She didn't even think she'd want to see his face again.

But then, he had returned all those months later, and after being wary of him at first, she had followed him to the church, where the truth was revealed at last.

"The spark. The missing... the piece that fit. That would make me fit. Because you didn't want..."

"I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak, thinking of you, holding myself, and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending? Angel—he should've warned me."

"The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve, and I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn."

"Your soul."

"Bit worse for lack of use."

"She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved."

"So everything's okay, right?"

"Can—can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?"

After that, while she was still wary of him for good reason, she couldn't bear to see him suffer. He had gotten his soul back for her.

And after getting it back, he had genuinely started to become a better man. Spending time with him, she had seen the real him now. Not Spike. She now saw William.

That was the man she did fall in love with over the course of this year.

He was the one who had comforted her after she had been kicked out. What he had said, only someone who truly loved her could say that.

And then he had sacrificed himself to save the world. He was gone now.

"I'm not ready for you to not be here", Buffy had said to him. And she still wasn't.

Willow had lost Tara. Xander had lost Anya. Giles had lost Jenny. And now she had lost Spike.

Could none of them ever be happy?

Later, Hyperion Hotel

Buffy sat at the table, looking ahead numbly. Willow was sitting in the garden outside, avoiding Kennedy. Buffy couldn't blame her. She had only gotten into this relationship to fill the hole in her heart that would never be filled. She didn't truly have any feelings for Kennedy. She'd realize it soon enough, and they would break up.

Xander was locked in his room and not coming out, breaking down over Anya of course.

Hearing something, she looked up to see Angel sitting in front of her.

"Hey."

"Hey."

There was silence for a bit.

"I'm sorry about Spike", Angel finally told her.

"You hated him", Buffy reminded him.

"But you didn't", Angel pointed out. She nodded in appreciation.

"I'm sorry about Cordy too", Buffy told him, having heard of her coma from the rest of them.

"Thank you."

"Tell me you killed the thing that did this to her."

"Its dead."

"Good", Buffy then asked the big question. "And now you're running Wolfram and Hart. I'm not sure I'm convinced of this plan."

"Me neither", Angel shook his head. "But please, just trust me enough to know what I'm doing."

"I do trust you Angel", Buffy assured him, before getting up and walking away. "I want to be alone right now."

Angel moved to the other side, respecting her wishes.

Buffy lay in her room, holding a pillow to her chest. She remembered the last two times she had been on a bed, with Spike's arms holding her to provide comfort.

"I'm not ready for you to not be here."

And she never would be. Clutching the pillow tighter, she burst into tears. She didn't stop until someone knocked on the door.

Months later

Buffy looked ahead at the wall in front of her. How could he not tell her? She had mourned him. She still was.

And he had come back, and never told her. Why?

Clutching her fists, she punched the wall in front of her with a roar, shattering it before she fell to her knees in tears.

She immediately felt arms wrap around her. It was Willow, who had returned from Rio after dumping Kennedy finally.

Andrew had returned from Los Angeles with Dana, and had told them Spike was alive. However, he had gotten a tongue lashing over telling Team Angel that Buffy didn't trust them anymore. How dare he put words in her mouth?

"Buffy…" Willow trailed off, holding her friend to offer comfort.

"Am I not good enough?" Buffy asked, not particularly to Willow, but herself. "Why did he not come to me?"

"I'm sorry Buffy", Willow simply hugged her. "Maybe we'll find out in time."

Buffy didn't say anything, and leaned into Willow's shoulder, the Witch allowing her friend to weep.

Weeks later

At long last, Buffy and Spike were reunited during the final battle against the Senior Partners. Spike had finally told her why he hadn't returned to her. He had been unable to forgive himself for what he had almost done to her.

But now, she had forgiven him for it. And, during this whole time period, they had grown closer once more, finally becoming a couple again.

Buffy sat on her bed now, Spike standing before her.

"Will you just hold me again?" Buffy asked, looking into his eyes. Spike didn't protest. He sat next to her, and held her, like he had back then.

"I'm sorry", he told her.

"It doesn't matter anymore", she whispered to him. "You're back, that's all that matters."

"I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too, Spike", Buffy then looked into his eyes. "And I'm never ready for you to not be here."

"I'm never going anywhere again, luv", Spike assured her.

The two then fell asleep, happy to be with each other again. And this time, their happiness would last.

And that's the end of it. I've written a lot of stuff focusing on Tillow and Cangel, so I decided Spuffy deserved some focus from me too.

Anyway, hope all enjoyed and see you all next time with another chapter.