A/N: I'm back! Sorry it's been awhile, but I think this is a fitting time for this chapter. Between Olivia's birthday and Valentine's Day. I wanted to give our lovebirds their Valentine's Day Weekend away. They deserve it after everything. That being said I fully intended for this chapter being nothing but fluff but the muse had other plans. Blame the crappy weather. It's still mostly fluff though, and the major angst won't be for a few more chapters. Enjoy! Trigger warnings for PTSD, brief mentions of Lewis, rape, violence, drug overdose (a story someone tells Olivia, not her) apply. Please proceed with caution. Thank you 13Starbuck42 for beta reading :)

Elliot opened the curtains in the suite once he put their suitcases on the bed. "Well," he wrapped his arm around Olivia and pulled her close, "it's not the view we had in the Bahamas, but the room is pretty nice."

"I think Valentine's Day is an indoor holiday for New York anyway." She blushed when she realized what she said. "I mean because of the weather, not sex."

He chuckled and wrapped his other arm around her, kissing her head. "You say that like we didn't do plenty of that in the Bahamas."

She rolled her eyes affectionately. "Shut up. You know what I mean."

"I do. Best part of that trip was spending a whole week in the sun with my girl."

"Well I don't think you're gonna get the sun this time, but-"

"I get my girl," he kissed her softly. "That's all that matters."

"Sweet talker," she reluctantly stepped out of his arms, picking up the hotel brochure Maureen and Kathleen had given them. "Ready to get your toes painted, Stabler?"

He groaned. "You know you're the only person on the planet I would do this for, right?"

"Oh I do, and I'm going to enjoy every second of it." She turned to explore the rest of the suite, pausing in the bathroom when she saw the hot tub.

Elliot heard her sigh and quickly went to her side. "Liv, you ok?"

"I don't know if I could… I mean maybe if we were home. I just-"

"Hey, there are no expectations, baby. I would never-"

"I know that. It's just-" she groaned in frustration.

"You're worried that sex would be more triggering away from home."

"And it pisses me off!" she huffed. "We're fun together, damnit! Remember the jacuzzi at our suite in the Bahamas? Or the private hot tub when we snuck away from your retirement party?"

He cleared his throat as the images came to mind. "Mmhmm definitely remember that."

She glared at him softly. "You're such a man."

"But I'm your man, and I'm a good one." He leaned against the doorway, torn between pulling her into his arms and giving her space; he opted for the latter. "I would never pressure you or make you feel guilty for not being comfortable with something."

"I know that, El."

"We can still have fun together without sex. We had fun times when we worked together, and we couldn't-"

"That was because you were married and because Cragen would've split us up, not because a psychopath scarred my brain."

"If it would make you feel better, I could call Kathy or Cragen and get them to tell us we can't have sex so that could be the reason and not trauma?"

"No! Elliot, you are not asking your remarried ex-wife to cockblock us on Valentine's Day weekend. How would that conversation even go?"

"I'm just trying to help."

"I know you are," she sighed. "Maybe we could try some stuff in bed later? That might be less likely to trigger something than the bathroom."

"I'll try whatever you're comfortable with. I just want to make sure you know that I love you, and I don't need sex to show you how much."

"Of course I know that," she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested against his chest, "I just wish I could turn off the PTSD and have a romantic weekend."

"If I could turn all the pain off for you, I would - in a heartbeat - but there will still be romance. I promise. I've got game. I know how to romance a woman without my dick."

Her chest shook with laughter. "Good grief, Elliot."

"What? It's true," he feigned offense.

"You got a poem for me? A love song?"

"Well no. Not yet."

"Buy me flowers?"

He grinned. "The biggest bouquet I can find."

"And chocolate?"

"Maybe I already have."

"Dance with me?"

"All night long."

"See, you say sweet things like that, and it makes me wanna do the other stuff too."

He chuckled. "Why don't we see how you feel after dinner?"

"Deal. You'll need the energy anyway if I'm in the mood. I've got game too." She pecked him on the lips and grabbed his hand. "Now let's go and see how pretty you look with blue nail polish."

"Blue? I figured I'd just get clear?"

She smirked. "Didn't you say 'whatever I'm comfortable with?'"

"I believe that was regarding physical intimacy, Detective Benson."

"I think it will look great with your eyes. Please?"

He grumbled. "The things I do for you, woman."

They walked out the door, and he walked beside her like he always would.

X

They had the choice between a couple's massage or a couple's mani-pedi. Neither of them were the type that would have their nails done, but the thought of being naked with someone other than Elliot touching her, even if it was a massage, made her shudder. He wasn't fond of that idea either, worried the masseuse may accidentally hurt or trigger her. He wanted her to be happy this weekend. She deserved it, especially after all she'd been through, and he was confident enough in his masculinity to have his feet groomed. She could tease him all she wanted as long as she was happy.

They were seated next to each other, and he reached for her hand to keep her grounded. While it wasn't likely her feet being touched would be triggering, he wanted to do whatever he could to make sure she felt safe.

"Ah! Easy," he remarked as his foot was scrubbed vigorously.

"Hold still, sir. Your skin is very rough and calloused."

The woman working on his pedicure was older and, dare he say, grumpy. He was glad the woman working on Olivia's was gentler, but he was also looking forward to the washing and scraping phase being over.

"I played football, I was in the Marines and then the NYPD. What can I say? I'm a rough and tumble guy. Plus I work out a lot."

"You should still take better care of your skin," the pedicurist scolded. "Your partner has good feet."

Olivia snorted, "Thank you." She leaned back against her chair, closing her eyes for a fleeting moment before a stranger's voice across from them caused all hell to break loose.

"She's got a nice lookin' rack, too."

Before she could do anything besides shift uncomfortably in her seat, Elliot was out of his chair, pushing the younger man up against the wall with his hands around his throat. "The fuck did you just say!?" he growled, tightening his grip.

"Elliot!"

He heard Olivia's disapproving shout, but he was seeing red.

"I'm- I'm sorry sir. I was just-"

"I don't care if you were just playing around. You realize you just threatened a cop!? Dumb move buddy."

"Jesus, El. Let him go. He's not worth it."

"I wasn't threatening her, sir. I promise."

"It's Detective to you," Elliot loosened his hold on the other man's neck, but didn't let him move an inch. "That woman over there? She's a Detective too, and if I see you anywhere near her again while we're here I will snap your neck faster than she can put handcuffs on you. You got that?"

"Wait… she's the Detective from the news. The one who was-"

"You finish that sentence, and I will knock your teeth out. You hear me? Your next move better be to get the hell out of here before I break every bone in your body and you're bleeding all over the floor. Wanna try me?" Elliot spat.

"No sir," he gulped.

"Good choice. Get out of my sight!" Elliot waited until he left to turn around. The two women who had been giving them pedicures stared at him with slacked jaws.

Olivia gave him a disapproving glare. "Cool off, Elliot."

He took a minute to catch his breath before going to the bathroom.

"Is he always like that?" Heather, the woman in front of Olivia, asked timidly.

"It's not… he's very protective of me. Especially after I was… hurt last year. We worked Special Victims for a long time. We've seen horrible things. I had horrible things done to me. He would never hurt me or any other woman or child, if that's what you're asking. He's a good man, has a tender heart, but when people he loves are hurt or threatened-"

"I get it. My daughter was raped by a classmate when she was sixteen. The charges didn't stick. Her father, God rest his soul, got into a fist fight with the boy's father that ended in gunfire. My husband was killed instantly. He just wanted to protect his little girl. That family moved away, thankfully, and the monster who hurt my baby was shot in the spine. He'll never walk again, but I sure hate that he gets to live," the older pedicurist, Susan, her nametag read, explained with a sad, sympathetic smile.

"I'm… I'm so sorry about your husband."

"It's been ten years now, but the heartache never really goes away."

"And your daughter? How is she doing?"

"She overdosed in college. I tried to get her into counseling, but the pain was just too much."

"That's… I'm so sorry." Any plan she had to yell at Elliot later seemed to dissipate. "If there's anything we can do-"

"I appreciate that, but all I really need you to do is text your partner and tell him to get back here to soak his feet so I can get those nails clipped and painted."

Olivia laughed. "Will do."

Elliot's knuckles were bruised when he walked back out to his chair, a sign that he'd probably punched the bathroom wall, but Olivia didn't comment on it. They could talk later.

"I'm sorry."

It had always amazed her how quickly he could go from loud, angry protector mode to soft and gentle. "El-"

"No, I reacted. I'm- I'm sorry for making a scene."

But not sorry for protecting you, his eyes told her.

I know. She reached for his hand again.

They sat in silence for the rest of their pedicures, only speaking again when they were left alone while their toes dried.

"Liv-"

"It was a PTSD response. I'm not mad, but Elliot, he made a dumb comment. He didn't touch me. He didn't-"

"Nick told me about some of the shit Lewis said to you in interrogation. All I could think about was-"

"I know. I get it, but El I'm a woman. I've been on this planet for forty-six years. If I had a dime for every creep that's hit on me or every date I had that was excited to learn what my job was and wanted details, we could probably buy the place we stayed at in the Bahamas. Hell, we could buy an island."

"Your point?"

"My point is that you can't assume every creep that looks at me the wrong way or makes a suggestive, sexist comment is William Lewis."

"I-"

"Was it shitty and disrespectful? Yes, but he was probably harmless. He wasn't gonna kidnap me or try to- he didn't touch me."

"How are you being so calm?"

She sighed. "Look, if I was walking home late at night and heard someone say what he did I'd probably be more panicked, but I'm with you. I know that I'm safe. Besides, we are in public in broad daylight. Most of the perps we've seen aren't that brazen."

"Olivia, that bastard was first arrested flashing tourists in the park." There was no need to ask which bastard he was referring to.

"That's why I said most. That was what unnerved Amanda about him in the first place. How… unusually brazen he was."

"I just don't want to let my guard down. I wasn't there to protect you then. I don't-"

"If that kid earlier-"

"He wasn't a kid."

"If that creep had tried to touch me, I don't have a single doubt you would've protected me. It's one of the reasons I love you, but that doesn't mean that if you hadn't reacted you wouldn't be protecting me. Besides, you forget that I can protect myself, at least to some degree."

"I know you can, but I'm your partner. I'm supposed to have your back. How do you know that guy was harmless?"

"You do have my back, and… I guess I don't know for sure that he was harmless. We've seen enough seemingly innocent people turn out to be monsters over the years, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life in fear, honey. I've spent enough of this past year that way. I don't want that for either of us."

"I hear you."

Olivia smiled and got out of her seat, curling up in his lap. "Thank you." It was more PDA than she would normally show, but the room was empty for the time being. Besides, even though the woman touching her had been gentle, having a stranger touch her still left her feeling a little anxious, so she wanted to rest in the safety of her partner's arms before they went to dinner.

"What do you think? Not a bad color on us," Elliot kissed her head, wrapping her in a protective embrace. "I think we look good."

"We do." They'd both selected the same shade of dark blue, deciding it was a fitting color for two cops.

He pulled out his phone, clicking the camera app. "Wanna send a pic to the kids?"

"Send one to Fin too," she laughed. "He hates feet."

He smirked. "Done."

They both cracked up when Elliot's phone buzzed shortly after.

Oh hell no, why am I lookin' at your stinky feet, Stabler?

X

Despite the events of the day, Olivia still insisted she was fine to go to dinner. They chose a booth at the back of the restaurant so she could see their surroundings. Elliot opened the menu and then started searching his pockets.

"Damnit."

"What? You got an engagement ring in there for me or something?"

He was suddenly flustered, wondering if she'd been expecting that, and feeling guilty for not planning something. "Uh…I-"

"El, relax. I was kidding. What's wrong?"

He sighed. "I left my reading glasses in the room."

She snorted, muttered something about him being an old man under her breath, and handed him her glasses.

"Thanks." He browsed the menu and looked at her when he finally decided what he wanted, grinning when he saw her staring at him with a smile. "What?"

"I love you so much."

He kissed her hand. "I love you too."

The waiter came over before they could say anything else, carrying a handful of roses. "Would you like a flower for your lady, sir?"

Elliot stifled a chuckle at his tough-as-nails partner being described as a lady, but took one anyway, extending it to her. "For you my darling."

"Thank you," she gave the rose a sniff before placing it inside her purse.

As expected, they ended up liking each other's dishes more than their own, so they asked for extra plates and split their food.

"Should we get dessert?"

"We could," she responded casually, "or you could have me for dessert."

He nearly choked on his water. "Jesus, Liv."

"Too forward?" She bit her lip. "I'm trying to be flirty and fun again, like pre-trauma Liv."

"Honey-"

Olivia frowned. "I know. I just miss her. The old me."

"Come here." He scooted over in the booth, stretching his arm across the back of it. "Come sit with me." She leaned into his side and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You're still you, and I love you in every form."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I would take away your pain if I could, but I wouldn't change you for the world."

"I wouldn't change you either," she kissed him softly, ignoring the garlic breath he had after their meal.

"What should we get?"

She looked back at the menu. "Ooh, turtle cheesecake is good. We got that one year for your- shit, El," she cut off suddenly.

"What is it?"

"Your birthday last year! I totally forgot about it. We didn't do anything."

"Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal. I feel horrible. I'm so sorry."

"Olivia-"

"No! You've been so loving and supportive and understanding through all I've gone through, and I missed your fucking birthday."

"Baby," he tightened his arm around her. "You had a lot on your mind. It's ok. You never have to thank me for being here for you and loving you."

She huffed. "Maybe not, but I hate that I- it wasn't your fiftieth was it? Please tell me I didn't miss your fiftieth!?"

He chuckled. "Olivia, I'm only two years older than you. I turned forty-eight."

"Still, you're important to me, and I wanna make sure you know it."

"I do know it," he assured her. "I don't need a party to know that. Birthdays, anniversaries, they're just days. Everyday I get to spend with you is special."

"Anniversaries," she groaned. "I missed that too."

"Three isn't a big number, Liv."

"I mean our partnership anniversary. Sixteen years since we met, Elliot. We should've at least gone to dinner or something."

"Maybe we will this year. Last year we were focused on your healing, just like we should've been."

She shook her head, waving the waiter over to their table. "Excuse me."

"Liv," Elliot tried to interrupt. "You don't have to."

"We'll have the turtle cheesecake, and uh, we're celebrating a few things tonight. We had a crazy year, and missed his birthday and our anniversary, so we're having one dinner for all of it."

"Her birthday was last week," Elliot interjected, unwilling to be the only person celebrated. "Our kids gave us this trip as a present."

The waiter nodded, and when his back was to them Olivia kissed Elliot's jaw, snuggling into him once more.

The cheesecake was brought to the table about ten minutes later with lit candles topping it. Olivia swallowed, realizing in her quest to make up for missing Elliot's birthday, she hadn't thought about the potential trigger.

"You ok? Want me to tell them to get rid of the candles?"

"No, I'm ok," she assured him. "I'm with you. I'm ok, I just have to not focus on the smoke or the flames or… fuck. I didn't think this through."

"It's alright. It's alright. Look at me and try to breathe-" he immediately chastised himself when he realized that was a dumb suggestion.

"Can't do that," she snapped shakily, squeezing his hand hard when they were surrounded by servers singing happy birthday.

Elliot stood up, shielding her from the smoke with his body while he blew out the candles, trying to wave it away from her as much as he could.

When they were alone again, she let a few tears escape. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's ok. You're safe. It's alright," he cradled her head against his shoulder, "it's all gone now. No more burning."

She wiped her eyes, still trembling a little. "Only a few tears that time instead of sobbing. That's progress I guess."

"I'm sorry, Liv. I wasn't thinking about-"

"I wasn't either. I was trying not to think of anything to do with him this weekend."

"I know," he scooped up some cake on the spoon, holding it up to her mouth.

"You should have the first bite. It's your birthday cake."

"It's ours," Elliot shook his head. "Eat, Benson."

"It's good," she said after taking a bite, then fed him a piece.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love."

"I didn't ruin it?" she sniffled.

"No, baby. You could never ruin anything." He picked up the napkin and gently wiped away a stray tear, and some cake from the corner of her mouth.

"Happy Valentine's Day, El."

They ate the rest of the cake and exchanged a few kisses, enjoying each other's company in silence for a while before heading back up to their room.

X

"I'm full. I think I ate a house." Elliot collapsed on the bed.

"You're so dramatic," Olivia teased, collapsing beside him.

"What do you wanna do now?"

She scooted closer to him, trailing a finger down his chest. "What I would like to do, if trauma wasn't a factor, is let you take this dress off of me, and do whatever you wanted."

"Liv-"

"But seeing as I nearly fell apart over candles on a fucking cake..."

"Olivia, stop. Look at me, stop beating yourself up."

"I-"

"You did nothing wrong. You hear me? I want you to tell me what would make you happy, what you're comfortable doing. Not what you think you should want, but what would make you feel good right now, and that's what we're gonna do, ok?"

"I wanna feel your hands on me, wanna kiss you for a while. Show you that you mean as much to me as I mean to you. Maybe give you a massage and then make love to you if we're both still awake."

"Hey! Are you calling me old? I will definitely still be awake," he laughed. "You're in control, baby. I'm up for anything you feel safe doing."

"I think I feel safe doing all of it-"

"You think?"

"I know I do. You aren't a trigger for me, El. I'm just still a little jittery from earlier."

"Wanna dance first?"

She snorted. "I have two left feet."

"So do I. We'll dance poorly together. No one will notice," he pulled her off the bed with him into his arms. "C'mere."

"There's no music."

"We don't need music," he kissed her sweetly and swayed with her in his arms, twirling her around and then wrapping her up again. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, but now I don't wanna move."

He chuckled. "We don't have to. We'll stay like this for a while."

"Sounds perfect."

She inhaled his scent and allowed his presence to calm the nerves from earlier in the night, feeling warm, loved, and protected like she always did with him.

They stayed like this for a half-hour, dancing to their own heartbeats in each other's arms.

He kissed her forehead, noticing her eyes were closed when he pulled back. "Did you fall asleep on me?"

"No, I was just resting my eyes."

He smirked. "Sure."

She kissed him deeply to shut him up. He still tasted like cheesecake, and she sucked on his tongue to savor the remnants of their dessert. Her moan of appreciation sent his blood rushing south. He tried to stifle his body's reaction to her in case she wasn't comfortable with things going further, but she deepened the kiss and rocked her hips against his.

"You keep doing that and this will be over before it starts, Benson."

She giggled seductively. "We've got time, don't we?" she trailed kisses down his neck, pushing off his suit jacket. He stopped her when she reached for the button on his slacks.

"You sure?"

"Make love to me, Elliot."

"Gladly."

They moved slowly. Their kisses were languid and long as they shut out everything except for each other. She slipped out of her dress with ease, guiding him to lay back on the bed. His hands caressed her body soothingly as she sank down onto him, rocking rhythmically, kissing down his chest as he lifted his hips to meet hers.

"This ok?" he slipped a little deeper inside her, stopping when her mouth dropped open.

"Feels so good."

Her walls clenched around him, and he swallowed her cry with a kiss when he hit her g-spot, shifting so he would continue to hit it with each thrust.

"Fuck, El. Faster."

"You sure?"

"Damnit, will you stop asking me that?" she huffed in frustration.

"No," he smiled. "I won't." He obliged anyway, his hand instinctively moving up her thigh, wanting to reach her clit, but he stopped himself. He hadn't touched her like that since before her abduction. She used to love it when he would stimulate her clit with his thumb while he was inside her, or get her close to the edge with his fingers to the point where she was yelling at him to 'get the fuck inside me before I shoot you.' Now, he feared it would be triggering, so they hadn't used much foreplay in their sexual encounters since.

"Do it."

"Olivia-"

"Please, Elliot. I wanna feel normal. Please."

"I just don't wanna hurt you."

"You won't."

"Why are you pushing yourself so hard this weekend? What's going on?"

"The better question is, why the hell do you want to talk while your dick is inside me."

"Liv."

"I don't know!" she felt angry tears prick her eyes. "I don't know why. I just-"

"There's nothing wrong with avoiding things we know are triggering for you. There's no reason we need to-"

"I don't want it to be triggering for me!" she sniffled. "It's stupid. I guess I just thought this trip would help me get that part of my life back, you know? The romantic, sexy side."

"First of all, you are the sexiest woman in the world to me. Second, there are a lot of different ways to have sex, and it's only fun when it's what both partners are comfortable with. I want you to enjoy it, not force yourself. It should be one of the best parts of life, not the worst."

"I used to enjoy it. I wanna enjoy it again."

"I know, honey. I'm sorry," he'd started to soften inside of her and moved to pull out, but she stopped him.

"Can we… Can we maybe compromise? Try something, but not too much."

"Whatever you wanna do."

"I want you to touch me, but maybe… maybe before I come move your hand away so it doesn't feel like that's what caused the orgasm." She shuddered at the memory of Lewis's fingers inside her.

Elliot placed the pad of his thumb on her clit. "Like this? This is ok?"

"Yes."

He resumed his thrusts and rubbed her clit slowly at first until she told him to go a little faster, a little harder.

Her walls tightened around him again and they both felt her getting close. "Ok, move your hand! Move your hand."

He quickly did so, holding onto her hips instead as the orgasm ripped through her in waves andshe collapsed onto him in a mix of pleasure and relief.

"How was that?"

She closed her eyes, catching her breath. "Amazing."

He grinned. "Glad to hear I've still got it."

"Ugh, your ego did not need that boost," she teased as the tremors continued. She couldn't remember the last time her peak lasted this long. "Holy shit."

"Must've been a good one."

"Mmhmm."

"Do you want me to-"

"Inside me. Come inside me."

"Yes ma'am." He lasted a few more thrusts before spilling inside her, coating her walls with a loud grunt. "God, you feel so good, baby. So sexy."

"Can we do that again?" She felt more like herself than she had in a long time.

"You're not worn out?"

"Give me a minute," she yawned. "Then I'll be ready."

He pulled the blanket up over them, knowing full well they would be pausing their activities for tonight, but could resume in the morning. "Night, Liv."

"Night," she felt him start to move and stopped him again. "What are you doing?"

"Was just gonna clean us up and-"

"No, stay like this. I feel safe like this."

His heart swelled with affection, but he had a feeling that she may not feel the same in the morning if she woke up to a man still inside of her, even if it was him. "I think I should pull out, honey."

"Fine," she sighed, too tired to argue with his protectiveness.

He kissed her deeply one last time before slipping out and tightened his arms around her. "Love you, Livia."

Her response was muffled against his chest and he kissed her head, drifting off to sleep himself, thanking whoever was listening that the universe hadn't taken her from him, that he could still love her in every way there was, and always would.

A/N: Thanks for reading! And since I am updating this on the day of the Super Bowl…GO CHIEFS!

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