Note:
-I know I said I wouldn't be updating for a while due to a holiday, but I squeezed this one in before I go away next weekend. It would have been cruel to make you all wait five or so weeks in total for the next chapter! The next chapter will have a longer wait though.
Richard munched eagerly on another piece of warm buttered toast, his third that morning. For a man who had found out the day before that the ghost of his late boyfriend had been talking to his current partner and had given them his blessing on their relationship, he felt strangely content. That didn't mean to say he had been fine. After the initial shock had worn off, Thomas had taken him upstairs, led him by the hand to their room where they had just laid on their bed and cuddled until he'd found himself calmer, until it had begun to sink in. He'd struggled to get to sleep last night, having found himself trying to stay awake in case Jack should visit him. In the end, sleep had won and the only time he'd seen Jack was in his dreams; memories of times gone by that he'd thought long forgotten. In the morning, whilst in the bathroom he'd had a private cry. Thomas never said anything, but Richard reckoned he'd noticed.
The dining table had its six spaces filled when he'd come down last to join them. Last minute arrangements had worked out and Chris, along with David, had arrived late last night. Both were a little blurry eyed due to the exhaustion from their journey last night not having fully disappeared. Despite this, the mood was cheerful.
"You know, even after we'd settled down last night, in bed with the chance to finally rest and relax before today, he was still moaning," Chris told them.
"I was only being truthful," David retorted.
"He was moaning about the city on our way here and I don't think he'll stop until we leave," Chris jibed, a cheeky smirk on his face as he continued to make fun of David's dislike of cities.
"I don't hate it all Chris." David turned to Thomas, who sat opposite him and next to Richard. "Tommy, help me out here."
Thomas took his time with his mouthful, lip twitching as he tried to appear serious. "You always preferred the country David, sorry."
David sighed dramatically, his unruly blonde hair flopping backwards. "Thanks."
"I think he could write a book on what he dislikes but to summarise it goes like this: He hates London traffic, London people, London buses, London air, oh and London pigeons."
"Well come on, that last one is true, you can't deny you agree Chris. The damn thing missed my hat by an inch. Countryside pigeons don't do that. They're more considerate," David insisted to everyone's amusement.
"He's a country boy at heart, despite all his time in Liverpool, and it shows. I've said it before, you're suited to the farm David, you'd never look smart enough to work in service," Thomas continued the act of poking fun at his old friend.
"Thank you Tommy." David rolled his eyes as he pretended to be offended.
"But despite all the awful aspects of this city," Richard intercedes, happy to join in on the jolly mood, "You're still glad you're here?"
"Yes, that much is true and despite my complaints, I will admit your home is lovely." He directed his compliment to the two women at the far end of the table from him. "And I'm looking forward to tonight, very much."
"Mr Tomlinson didn't mind your last minute departure?" Richard asked.
"No, no. In fact he practically packed my bags for me, eager to get rid of me," David joked. "But no seriously he said two things to me after I'd asked. Firstly, to stay safe and secondly to sweep this handsome creature off his feet." David gave Chris a quick kiss, who bashfully smiled back at him.
"I'd reckon you'd be dancing more than me," Chris replied. Richard could have been mistaken but he was sure he heard a note of nervousness, of self conscious insecurity in his voice that he'd been trying hard to hide.
"We'll have a good time, however it goes," Richard assured him.
"Will you be traveling back with Thomas and Richard on Monday?" Lucy asked Chris.
"Expect so, but I hope we'll have the morning. I might need it."
"This place we're going then," David began. "You couldn't go into details over the telephone obviously, but what else can we know now?" He asked them all.
"Just imagine the fanciest club you can and put it in a basement. It's nothing makeshift at all and hidden in plain sight," Izzie delighted.
"It's for anyone who doesn't fit the mold," Thomas added.
"Sounds perfect for me then," Chris replied as he looked as though he was going to say more.
Richard was curious as to what was going through his friend and colleague's mind, who had been glancing at Thomas on and off for most of breakfast. He couldn't say, but Chris hadn't been anywhere like where they were going for over five years and the last time he had, he'd had Thomas in his arms.
...
A gentle tap on the open bedroom door drew Thomas away from the mirror in the adjoining bathroom later that day. He'd not wanted to make too much of an effort with dolling himself up. Nowhere he'd been for a bit of time with other men, had ever warranted the need to look like he should make an effort. He poked his head out of the door to see Chris standing in the doorway, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
"May I come in?"
"Yeah, hang on a sec." Thomas put the comb down on the edge of the basin.
Chris looked him up and down, and then again before darting his gaze away. "You look good."
"Thanks." Thomas shuffled, feeling a bit awkward. It was so much easier between them now that Chris was with David, but whatever it was that Chris still held for him, attraction, desire, love, was still there as an ember that flared on occasion. "You alright?"
Chris rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. Sorry, you're busy and it's nothing. I'll let you get on." Chris turned to go.
"Got cold feet about tonight haven't you?" Thomas blurted out, stopping Chris in his tracks.
"That obvious huh?"
"I'm the same."
Chris stepped further into the room. "When Richard called, I jumped at the chance. Five years is a long time and I've been hiding in Downton for too long. It's about time to put myself back out there. Not in that way, but you know?"
"Yeah."
"When I saw you first in that pub, I was different. I had a reputation, and honestly I wanted you, in every way a man like us could, but it only took that short time we had together to convince me that I was not drawn to you by raw desire for— No I wanted to know you first." Chris turned away, flushed red in his face, which he promptly covered with his hand. "Oh god! I don't even know why I'm saying this. I've never told you that, I didn't know what I really came in here to say," he mumbled into his hand.
Thomas felt flushed himself. He was not a fool. Chris had given off all the right signs as to what he wanted that night before they were torn apart and he was rescued by Richard. It was obvious he wanted to love him right from the moment he showed up in Downton last year. But still, he'd never actually heard him admit it. "You're concerned you'll not enjoy this evening because you will only be able to think of the memories we share?"
"I suppose that's the short and long of it," Chris shrugged. "I'm sorry Thomas. I thought I was past all this. I love David, I really do, but sometimes...it all comes back at the most inconvenient times. I suppose I just needed to say it. Then there's the other thing..."
"You're concerned we're tempting fate?"
"Aren't you?"
"The thought of the police bursting in and ruining the evening has crossed my mind," Thomas answered dryly. "But like you, I've hidden for long enough. Richard has faced his fears, so must I." Thomas took a tentative step forward. "And as for dancing, you know people won't care if you're not the quickest or neatest on your feet. I certainly won't."
"Suppose that's not the point of it. No judgment."
Thomas nodded. "No judgment."
...
Chris let his back be cradled by the smooth leather padded corner seat he and David had found shortly after arriving with the others at Joanne's later that day. His stomach had been doing somersaults as they arrived. He kept a cheery face but he couldn't escape the worry that any moment a dozen uniformed coppers would pounce on them all and he'd be back to square one. If David had read his mind, he didn't know, but he took it upon himself to relax him as soon as they entered the space Chris could only describe as magical. He'd never been anywhere like it. Not even mainstream clubs and bars where people mixed as opposite sex couples, just as society expected them to. He'd never had the cause and even if he had, it wouldn't have been the scene for an average working class Yorkshire man such as himself. He knew he'd gawped like a child in a sweetshop. David had taken his hand, and led him to the side, bought them a couple of drinks and settled them both down in a more secluded corner as the evening started to warm up. The last time, with Thomas, he'd been the one with experience and cocky confidence, taking Thomas by the hand, leading him into a dance. Things changed since then.
David's hand, skin roughened from his outdoor job, cupped his chin, then slid to the back of his neck as they gifted each other with slow sensual kisses. Drinks had been forgotten and at some point Chris's leg had looped itself over David's lap. It wasn't the most comfortable position but they made it work, for the sake of being able to be open in their affection for each other. It was a strange but empowering feeling to be behaving in such a way, with people sitting only a table away, the sound of lively chatter, music, the smell of cigarette smoke; in other words, not being alone.
As David decided to move his lips to Chris's chin and then his neck, Chris glanced to the dance floor. The crowd had grown since he'd last looked and the music, some lively jazz number with their hostess Joanne Simpson on vocals, had brought the room alive. A man, dressed in a woman's frock and make up, pulled another man towards the crowd to dance. Beyond them, Thomas and Richard, were also taking full advantage of their newfound freedom. Thomas could still dance well, Richard too. Thomas leaned in to say something to Richard, who laughed and then kissed him, not holding back, right there in the centre of the crowd. He must have been looking for longer than he realised as David stopped worshiping him with nips and kisses.
"You alright? Was that a bit too enthusiastic of me just then?" David asked, pulling back and shuffling to get comfy under Chris's leg.
"No. You're fine. Sorry, I was a world away." Chris saw the questioning look David gave him. But instead of focusing on that, he pulled David into a smoldering kiss. It wouldn't do though. He had been meaning to talk to David, but he'd never found the moment. It would overshadow the whole evening. He pulled back. "I need to tell you something."
"Okay?"
"I told Thomas some things, earlier on. Things that I think I should have said a long time ago." Chris finished the other half of his glass, giving him time to think. "I told him how when I first met him I wanted him. How at first I wanted to possess him, but after just those few hours I found myself with a need to get to know him first. I feel guilty David, I'm not making things easy for us, what with that incident with Michael as well. I have a lot of past that insists on hanging around." Chris searched his lover's face for a reaction. David looked towards the dancing couples. "Say something. Please?"
"Fancy a dance?"
"What?" Chris gawped, taken aback. "That's all you're going to say?"
"Well it's not news to me how you feel about Thomas. I know that."
"Yes but I've never explicitly said what I wanted."
"No, but I'm not an idiot Chris, I saw that in the moment we first met and I put the pieces together in the moments after pretty quickly. As for Michael, it was a misunderstanding, lack of communication at worst. No big deal in the end. I reacted badly but it's fine now."
Chris narrowed his eyes. "Really?"
"Yep. Anyway, as you know, Thomas and I weren't exactly just good mates when I knew him." David brushed his forehead with his finger and kissed the spot below. "Don't you worry your pretty head about it." David stood up and offered out his hand. "Now dance with me?"
Thankful for the millionth time that David was so laid back and forgiving, Chris decided to leave his troubles alone and focus on the present. David's invitation though wasn't easy to accept. "I'll show you up David. I won't take any offence if you find someone else to partner with. You've been getting looks, ones that your butch farmers physique is bound to get trust me."
David looked around him, over his shoulders then back at Chris. "I don't want anyone else, and your flattery isn't getting you out of this Chris. We didn't come here to hide." David looked around again.
Chris saw a man on the other side of the room make eye contact with David just for a moment. He knew then, he couldn't have someone be around David instead of him. "Don't expect anything great from me."
David responded with a hearty laugh. "Hey me neither! You know what Tommy said about me? Two left feet, and he was being kind even then. If you show me up, I'll match you." The song came to an end before a man started to sing the next. "Anyway, I know this one." Chris took his hand, not letting go until they reached the crowd of dancers and even then, only so he could hold David around the waist.
Chris listened to the first few lines of the song. Joanne had stepped aside, and in her place a tall man with a handsome face and equally attractive curly brown hair sang the song with a voice as smooth as honey. "Me too. Mad About A Boy. Only ever heard it sung by a woman though, this...this is wonderful."
They didn't move around much, Chris perfectly content with a gentle sway, leaning his head against the side of David's, closing his eyes, still sure he was about to wake from a beautiful dream at any moment. David hummed the tune, the gentle vibration of which Chris felt in his own chest. "We should get a gramophone sometime."
"We?"
"One of us, both of us. I don't know. But I want to do this again."
"We could come here again," Chris suggested, letting out a deep pleasurable sigh. "Prison took my confidence and my dancing, I wish I'd not given in so easily."
David pulled back so they were looking into each other's eyes. "They never took either. I can list countless moments where your confidence has been incredible."
"And dancing?"
"Well you're still better than me," David smirked.
Chris chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Typical." They kissed as the song continued, lyrics illustrating the scene better than any painter could."I love you David. By god I love you so much."
…
"Hmm if I died now I would die happy," Richard hummed into Thomas's ear as they slow danced in the crowd. The male singer that had taken over from Joanne for the current song added an extra layer of magic to their time together in public. It was refreshing to hear a song, written by a man, about a man, by a man, instead of its more socially acceptable female cover. He felt Thomas smile against him.
"Don't do that love, I need you for the next dozen or so dances. No one else will do." Thomas pulled back, a smile of fake innocence painted on his face where his eyes gave away his teasing.
"Glad to hear it Mr Barrow, I'll bear that in mind." There was little to say between them as they danced, swayed, kissed to the music. Richard thought of all the times when he'd been on his own, in places like this, though nowhere near the same standard of course, but similar in every other way. He'd danced, made out and left with strangers who'd he'd forgotten the next day and who would have forgotten him. Here with Thomas, he felt new. They're relationship was hardly in its infancy, but this evening was a first for them.
"What are you thinking?" Thomas asked, caressing the area under Richard's shirt where the top two or three buttons had been undone for comfort.
"I don't know. Just that it's different all this, isn't it?"
"You like it?"
"I love it, and you. For all you've done to help me over the past several weeks, even when I didn't want it and pushed it back in your face, I love you." Richard smiled into Thomas's kiss, not their first or second for the evening so far. The first had been chaste, as though both of them couldn't get their heads around their unusual freedom in the basement club. Confidence had soon sunk in and Thomas, had led the way. They'd not stopped dancing since.
"I'm glad we invited them," Thomas commented, nodding in the direction of David and Chris who had joined with their first dance of the evening. Richard had seen them earlier, making out without a care for their surrounding company or privacy. He'd also noticed some exchange between them that had an air of tension about it. He'd not noticed the outcome, since he'd been too distracted by Thomas's attentive hands and lips, but had been happy to see them dancing.
"Chris had some reservations. We talked earlier back at Izzie's. He had some things he needed to say, you know, to get off his chest." Thomas glanced at Chris again.
Richard could read between the lines, and make an educated guess as to what he had to say, and to what his concerns were about. It was easy to forget sometimes that Thomas had danced with Chris before he'd danced with, or done anything with him. Such thoughts stirred jealousy once upon a time, but that was in the past, forgiven. He held Chris in a high regard, as a friend. On that note, there was something he wanted to suggest to Thomas tonight. He held back for now, needing more time to give it some thought.
As the song ended and the next began, Joanne back at her microphone, Jimmy looking pleased as punch doing what he was clearly born to do, Richard began the next dance with Thomas. They relaxed into a rhythm, comfortable in their surroundings. Everyone else was the same. At a glance he just saw people, but as Richard looked around Thomas and himself he saw how unique the haven Joanne had created was. Most places he'd been to before had been attended by younger men, but there really was no limit here. Over by the bar, an older couple, two men perhaps in their early sixties, shared a drink holding hands. On the dance floor men danced with men, women with women, a mix of accents merged into one, white skinned people, and people of colour. The variety of the human race right there in one room all sharing in the joy that could be had if differences, and the prejudices associated with them, could be pushed aside. How easy life could be if people just accepted their fellows for who they were. His musings, accompanied by Thomas's sweet caress of his hand against his neck, halted. His steps to a dance he knew well faltered when he saw someone at the far end of the room he was sure he recognised.
"Ah, Richard that was my toe!" Thomas laughed. "You're getting clumsy."
Richard slowed their dance to a complete stop, so in the end they were just standing holding each other in the crowd. "Of all the places..."
Thomas frowned back at him with concern. "Richard what is it? Is it Jack?"
"What? No." Richard chuckled, which only made his partner frown even more. "No Thomas. Look who else is here?"
Thomas let go of him to turn around. "Where? Who? I don't see...Oh." Thomas rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Well I suppose that was inevitable."
"Let's go and say hello shall we?"
"I'm not sure now is the time Richard. He looks...occupied," Thomas whispered, out of habit more than anything as he blushed.
"You know he won't mind. Come on." They pushed their way through the crowd of dancers to the far side of the club and towards a few neat looking leather backed seats fitted against the wall in a semi-circular shape around the tables. Thomas wasn't wrong. His old friend didn't notice them, too entangled in his lover's embrace to be aware of anyone else. Richard, and Thomas a step or so behind, slowed to a saunter as they approached their table. "Hello Larry."
Larry paused, pulled away from his partner Sebastian, as an impish smile grew on his face and turned to look up at them, eyes sparkling with a provocative flare. "At last you noticed me. I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to drop a few hints somehow."
"You've been here all evening?" Thomas asked, smirking in response to Larry's attention on him. This was nothing new to Richard. He knew Larry found Thomas attractive, and would never miss an opportunity to make it known.
"I wanted to come over the moment we saw you all," Sebastian began. "But Larry insisted on playing a little game to see how long it would take for you to notice him."
"You didn't know we'd be here?" Richard enquired.
Larry straightened up, stretched his left arm around the back of Sebastian's shoulders, resting it on the top of the seat, before slouching down again in a casual manner. He grinned up at them with a cat-like expression. "Absolutely not." Richard narrowed his eyes at him in mock disbelief. "No really Richard dear, I didn't. I like it here and come along as often as I can when word gets around that Miss Simpson is opening up the private room. I had no idea you were even in the city." Larry leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table whilst his hand propped up his chin. "Really you two, it is surely a crime not to let me know you were visiting! I would have invited you both over."
"Larry, stop it," the American chided, though his smile glowed as he did so.
"We only came on short notice and anyway, even if we did plan ahead and contact you, we had no idea you were in London," Thomas responded smartly.
"Hmm, fair enough. Your quick tongue caught me out there Thomas."
Richard shook his head as Thomas ducked his gaze away. Larry didn't even have to try. He decided to change the subject, if only to spare Thomas. "How long have you been coming here then?"
"Oh as long as it's been open don't you think Seb?" Larry adjusted his crisp white shirt sleeve, to reposition the silver cufflinks to a more comfortable position for his wrists.
"You've been coming here longer than me. But I've been coming along since you first introduced me to this place. It is marvelous don't you think?"
"This is the first time for us, but it's unbelievable," Thomas agreed.
"Finally somewhere that looks as fabulous as it feels. Miss Simpson really does have excellent style, the decor and furnishings for one, not to mention the singer she hired. He's from France I think, not French though. But I do love a man with curls," Larry ogled towards the stage at the opposite end of the room. "We'll have to see if he'd like to join us one evening Seb, what do you think?"
"For dinner?"
"Oh yes, what else could I be suggesting?" Larry's eyes twinkled with suggestive mischief. "But anyway, as you were both saying, it's refreshing to see somewhere without judgment looking so...established."
"It's had money spent on it, which helps," Thomas added.
Richard noticed the sideways glance Larry shared with Sebastian. He knew then that he was right. "Money does help."
"Oh yes. I may say it's good to see my finances being put to good use. I hate having money left lying around doing nothing."
"So it was you!" Thomas exclaimed. He playfully slapped Richard's arm. "Richard, I knew it."
Richard had never discussed his suspicions with Thomas. He'd meant too but they'd been dealing with more important matters of late and it had slipped his mind. "You're the mysterious sponsor?"
Larry smirked up at them, with a victorious smile. "Who else?"
Notes:
-This is not the end of Richard and Thomas's evening at Joanne's club. I wanted to make this part of the story special so I'm trying to write from as many points of view as I can. It would make the chapter absolutely huge if I kept it all to one chapter, so I'm using two chapters to cover this part. The next chapter will continue immediately from where we left it here.
-The song Mad About A Boy was originally written by Noel Coward and whilst it was written to be sung by female characters, Coward also wrote another unperformed version with homosexual undertones. There have been many covers of the song since it was published in 1932, but the version I listened to whilst writing this chapter was by Adam Lambert.