The One Less Traveled By

by hakunamatata134

Sandor Clegane is the fiercest warrior in all of Westeros. Men and women alike fear his name: the Hound and the face that matches his infamous reputation. Sandor cares for no one, loathes all people but there is one little bird that makes him want to care. When one unexpected event happens, will he get the opportunity to become Sandor again or will he remain the Hound forever.

15. Chapter 15

Note to readers: This chapter ended up being the longest I've written so far. At first, I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with Cara and Hermes or how Sandor and Sansa would receive them now, if at all. I'm happy with the final result and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Some of the exchanges at the end between Sandor and Sansa, and Sansa and Cara aren't my own. They are some of my favorite quotes from Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, and other books. I have some free time this weekend so hopefully the next chapter will be posted soon.

Chapter 15

When he awoke the next morning and Sansa wasn't beside him, Sandor jerked up in a panic until he looked to his right and saw her standing at the window looking out with her arms wrapped around herself. Sighing in relief, he swung his legs over the side of the bed as he threw the blanket off him then peered at her. She had already dressed, and he was pleased to see she was wearing the new tunic and britches he had purchased her two days ago that would fit her frame more comfortably. Hermes and he had been gathering supplies when they came across one tent in the sea of tents that had various tunics and britches of all sizes and colors. He was surprised to find a few that were even big enough for himself, so he purchased all they had in his size then was able to get Sansa some that looked more appropriate for her frame. He knew she would probably be uncomfortable in the heavy dresses as they traveled, and she would prefer having more freedom to move in the event something was to happen. He had gotten her two different pairs of boots as well to aid their travelling. He had suggested Hermes do the same for his wife so she would be more comfortable, but his face got blood red at the suggestion and told him there was "no way in hell" he would allow his wife to dress like a man.

As he looked at her, he could barely see the profile of her face in the dark morning light from outside but there was no mistaking the sadness that plagued her features. Though she looked sadder now than she did when the boy king took her father's head, he couldn't deny her beauty that captivated him. The sun hadn't risen yet so her pale face was glowing bright in the moonlight which made her fiery red hair look unworldly in comparison to her light features. Wisps of her red hair framed her face, and her long braid went down the middle of her back against the white tunic that was tucked into her dark brown britches that were slipped into her boots at her knees. With her attire, there wasn't much left to the imagination on how curvy and plump her body was, and to Sandor she never looked more like a woman than in this moment. If it wasn't for the sadness, he knew was consuming her, he would have risen and claimed her mouth for himself.

She didn't acknowledge him, even when he rose to dress himself. He never said a word to her as he dressed and packed up the rest of their things to go but his eyes never strayed away from her too long as he completed his tasks. They had about five bags of provisions now that included clothes, food, and other necessities for the long journey East. As he gathered the last bag and placed it on their bed, he turned to her. She hadn't moved a muscle as he had been getting their things ready and he wasn't sure what he should say or what he should do now. He knew her thoughts were consumed by reflections of her lost family and the home she would probably never see again. Though he didn't grow up in a home he would ever say he would miss, she had. She had a family that had loved her, and she had loved them in return. She had lived in a place filled with happy, safe memories with people she could trust and rely on. Sansa would never have that place or those people in her life again, and he wasn't sure how he could give her any comfort. Nothing he said or did would bring her family back or repair the devastation that had beset the Stark family in only a few short years. He couldn't imagine what she must be feeling now.

Sandor took a deep breath and slowly approached her still form. When he stepped next to her, he could see the far off, almost dazed look in her eyes and he placed his hand gently on her shoulder. She looked away from the imaginary thing out the window and raised her attention to him. Her eyes looked like a sea of sadness, but she gave him a polite, small smile anyway. "Are you ready?"

He knew, for her, the question probably meant more than if she was ready for this trip but was a question of whether she was ready for the rest of her life. She looked away from him then to stare back out into the dark sky. She didn't say anything for a while but then asked him softly with little emotion, "Do you think the Old Gods will forgive my time of happiness while my House was being destroyed?"

Sandor sighed audibly. She knew he didn't believe in her Northern Gods or the Seven. He had always believed the Northern and Southern religions had just been formulated by powerful individuals to use as a tool to gain influence over their people. He had seen it happen time and time again in his life, and he wouldn't fall under the traps of those who would use it against him. He also wouldn't believe any Gods, whether they be the Old Gods or the new, would allow such destruction and pain to remain in this world. But he knew Sansa still held strong to her Northern Gods and the comfort the faith seemed to give her during hard times. He had seen her enter the small godswood at the Keep many times and not leave its depths for hours after.

"You know I don't believe in any Gods, Sansa… but any Gods who would punish you, after everything you've endured in this life, for having a brief period of happiness can go fuck themselves."

She quirked her lips at that and nodded softly. She turned her attention to him then with furrowed brows. "Sandor, how did you receive word about my family? You said the news came from Westeros… the Red Keep. How is that possible?"

He could see the skepticism in her features as she peered at him, and he was debating on whether he should tell her about Hermes. He hated liars though, so he decided to tell her the truth. "A parchment was sent to Hermes stating the news."

He hoped he could leave it there and she wouldn't question it further, but she was a clever bird now. "Hermes? But who would send a parchment to Hermes from across the sea? Cara said it was just the two of them now that her mother was gone, and no one knew of their departure from the city."

She seemed perplexed by the news, and he knew she wouldn't like the additional news he was about to give her. "Aye, it didn't make sense to me either when he told me. I almost had to beat it out of him to tell me the source… Hermes evidently is a spy, working for the Spider."

At his news, the first genuine emotion other than sadness showed on her features and she slowly brought her hand up to her mouth in shock. He could see the wheels turning in her mind and he remained silent to allow her to process. "Hermes, a spy?! But how can that be? He and Cara have been such dear friends to us these past few months and… Oh!" She looked like she was in complete terror now and he reflexively placed his hand to his sword handle. She looked at him then with wide eyes, "Does Cara know of her husband's involvement with Lord Varys?"

He could see the hope in her eyes. The small bit of hope that her dearest friend hadn't been keeping such a secret from her. He almost decided to lie right then to give her some comfort, but a hound never lied, and they looked you straight in the face. "Aye."

She closed her eyes then in defeat and he could see the turmoil on her face then. "Oh Sandor… how can this be? I've shared so much with her… we've been so close to each other and shared so much. How could she lie to me like this?" He thought then that maybe he should have lied. Just this once. She looked as though she had lost the last friend she had left in the world. He surmised though that other than him, maybe she had. She didn't have another woman to call a friend anymore. "What are we going to do now? We cannot travel with them now, can we?"

She looked completely lost in that moment and all he wanted to do was bring her into his arms and shield her from the world. "We already have all the provisions we'll need. We need to leave this morning and get as far away from the coast as possible… I'll kill Hermes if you ask it of me. I'll run him right through, but I don't think he means us any harm. He told me he was going to send word to Varys that we were headed to Pentos, not Norvos. If what he says is true, he could lose his neck for the betrayal… He also risked revealing himself to us when he shared the contents of the letter. He didn't have to do it, but he said he did because he cared for us… You know I don't trust anybody, Sansa, but you also know I would never put you in jeopardy. I don't think we're in any danger with them and if we don't travel with them then we'll have to find another way to Norvos or find a place in another part of the Free Cities… I'm your shield so I'll do whatever you wish."

If it was at all possible, she looked even more lost at his declaration. She started ringing her hands together and biting her bottom lip as she thought of all the possibilities. Abruptly, she stilled herself while closing her eyes. She breathed in slow, deep breaths and he knew she was blanketing the calm around her that he had taught her to do when getting ready for a fight. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and looked at him with determination. "We shall travel with them, but we must ensure no one is following us as we leave the city. They have both hidden the truth from us and we cannot trust them so we must be on our guard and regard them as only travel companions from this day on until we reach the Hills of Norvos. We will decide what to do with them once they take us to our destination."

Pride swelled in his chest as she made her decision. He knew it was only practical to continue their plans with the couple, even if there was a risk. The only other option would be to roam the Free Cities blindly until they reached a safe place and that would be an even bigger risk. He nodded curtly to her once and rasped, "As you wish."

They gathered their bags and headed out the door. When they reached the bottom of the steps leading into the large dining hall, Cara and Hermes were waiting for them with their own bags at their feet while they sat at one of the tables. The pair looked incredibly anxious when they laid their eyes on Sansa and Sandor. Cara rose as if to embrace Sansa, but Sansa backed away from her and gave her a murderous glare. Cara stood in shock for a moment but had the decency to lower her gaze in shame.

"Since we don't know these lands and need a guide to the Hills, we'll be traveling with you as planned." Sandor growled to the pair. He took an aggressive step to Hermes and rasped low to him, "But if I suspect for even an instant you've sent word to the Spider on our whereabouts or that you've implored someone to follow us, I'll kill you with my bare hands… both of you."

Hermes looked at Sandor wide-eyed but nodded his understanding. Sansa and Sandor sat then to break their fast. A grumbling, older woman who didn't seem too pleased with the early rise, deposited the plates in front of them then walked away grumbling to herself. Once they were done eating, all four rose and headed for the cart and horses. The sun had still not risen, and no one appeared to be lurking around as they loaded the cart and fastened the horses. Sansa and Cara climbed on the back of the cart as Sandor and Hermes went to sit in the front to steer the beasts. As they began to leave, Sandor kept a sharp eye out for anyone who appeared to give the group too much attention but as Sandor looked around, there was no one on the streets in the early morning. He was pleased to see that Hermes was looking around as intently as he was. Once they passed the threshold of the city and stepped out into the open, dry land for about a league, Sandor stopped the cart to look for anyone who may be stalking behind them. Satisfied, Sandor turned to march the horses on. Sandor said nothing to Hermes, and he said nothing to Sandor. The women weren't speaking at all behind the men so the only sound to be heard was the horses' hooves as they touched the earth and the sound of the cart lightly jostling under them. As they continued forward into the open space of the unknown with the sun peeking out on the horizon in front of them, the group remained in complete silence.

Cara

The first five days had gone by agonizingly slow, and Cara felt completely spent with the grueling journey. Sandor had insisted on traveling as quickly as possible without risking the horses and he only permitted two rests each day: one when they ate their mid-day meal and one when they would camp down for the night. The blistering, hot sun and the relentless rate they were going was slowly taking a toll on Cara and she hated her own weakness. She knew the reason for his haste and determination to get to their destination, and that reason was sitting across from her now with a quiet demeanor. Though she had been sitting on the back of this cart with her for several days now, Sansa hadn't spoken five words to her during their journey. She would just sit across from her taking in the scenery around them and acted as if Cara wasn't even there. It broke her heart that it seemed she had lost her only friend.

Cara understood it though of course. She and her husband had kept Hermes' occupation from them both all this time and they had broken their trust. Cara had tried speaking to Sansa several times as they rode together but Sansa wouldn't even acknowledge her. She had pleaded for Sansa to listen to her and understand why she could never tell her of Lord Varys. It would have been their heads if they ever revealed to anyone who Hermes truly worked for. Cara told Sansa how much she cared for her and would never betray her trust again, but Sansa would continue looking off in the distance as if not hearing a word that came from Cara's lips. After the third day, Cara decided to give up winning back her friend and she was slowly slipping into despair that she didn't have this woman who had been her constant companion for the past two months anymore.

Sansa had been her confidant and almost like a true sister during their trip on the sea but never as much as when she was attacked by Mal and the group of men. A sudden panic rose in Cara's throat thinking of it now. That first night, Cara couldn't contain the feeling of complete fear and distress as her husband held her. She couldn't contain the overwhelming, unending emotions that swirled in her mind as she thought of the attacks. For the first few days and nights, all she could see, feel, and smell were the men who had attacked her, and she felt a sense of utter doom when she couldn't get the memories out of the forefront of her mind. Hermes was completely lost with her those first few days and she knew now that he must have felt entirely helpless when he wasn't able to comfort her or give her any peace of mind. After four days of turmoil that caused her husband to live in a constant state of anxiety, Sansa had come to her. When Cara had seen Sansa, it was as if the flood gates opened in her heart and she clung to her friend like she was her salvation. The women cried together, and Cara shared with Sansa her feeling of helplessness and doom. Cara had almost wanted to end her own life knowing she had been ruined for her husband, but Sansa had firmly told her she was being completely absurd, and that Hermes loved her no matter what. Sansa continued listening and talking with Cara for what seemed like hours after that and by the end of it, Cara felt as if a very large part of her turmoil had finally escaped from her.

As the days went by and Sansa continued to visit her, Cara slowly returned to more of herself again. Cara had also watched as Sansa's demeanor went from being the sweet, tender lady to a sterner, more confident version of herself. Sandor had been training Sansa relentlessly on how to fight their last weeks at sea and Cara felt a sense of envy knowing Sansa was receiving something Cara didn't have: unyielding confidence. When Cara heard from her husband that Sansa had bested Hamish in a duel, she had been completely shocked. Though Hamish wasn't a seasoned warrior like Sandor, he was a large, rough man who was almost twice Sansa's size. Then Cara thought if a sweet, pampered lady like Sansa Stark could become a woman who could beat a man in a one-on-one fight, then Cara could do the same. She had mentioned it to Sansa who immediately agreed with her but when she told her husband of her plans, he immediately grew angry and refused. She couldn't understand why Hermes was so against the idea after what happened to her, but she was disinclined to treat him tenderly after Sansa addressed him directly on the matter and he still wouldn't relent.

Looking over to the woman now, Cara started feeling a bitterness creep up in the depths of her mind at her friend's rejection. Yes, she knew she had betrayed Sansa's trust but after all the two women had been through together, Sansa should know she wouldn't ever cause her any harm. Hermes had talked some to Cara after her rape at calling off his work with Lord Varys after Sandor helped save her and Sansa helped bring Cara back to him. She was in disbelief at Hermes' sentiments but was relieved he had a change of heart for his dishonorable occupation. When he had received the parchment under their room at the Inn, all color had drained out of his face as he read the contents of the letter. When he told her of the news, she had almost given her own sob for her friend. She immediately told him they must tell Sandor and Sansa of the news about the Stark family, but Hermes initially refused. If he told the pair, then he may risk revealing his involvement with Lord Varys and Sandor would likely kill them both. Cara had known the risk but begged her husband to tell them. This news, though tragic, couldn't be kept from Sansa for too long. When Hermes had returned from delivering the news to Sandor, he was white as snow and looked completely petrified.

Though Sansa put on a brave, confident face on the outside, Cara could see the pain in her eyes. Cara wanted to comfort her or give her an ear to talk to, but Sansa refused to even acknowledge her anymore. She wanted to be angry at her friend for her rejection, but she knew Sansa was in a lot of pain. She had just lost her home and almost all the family she had left on this earth. Cara couldn't imagine what she must be going through. Sansa had left Winterfell an innocent, sweet girl with no worry she would see those she loved again one day, and now she would likely never see any of them or her home ever again, and she was so far away from anything she's ever known.

Cara noticed how attentive Sandor had become of her friend after the news of the fall of her family. The man had always been protective and kept a watchful eye when it came to Sansa, but he had seemed to be even more devoted to her now, if it was even possible. He would look at her for several moments each day as they traveled, as if to determine if she was growing too weary but the girl kept that calm demeanor each day and he would turn around and continue with the unrelenting pace. He would watch her intently each time they stopped for their mid-day meal or when they would eat dinner, and she never wondered too far without him looming closely behind her. She watched as they would step away from the couple and talk quietly amongst themselves, and Sandor would have a tenderness in his eyes that she had never seen before. Cara presumed though he was all she had now, and she was now the only thing he cared to devote any time to. Most nights, they would step away from their small camp to continue her training or practice on her skills with the blade. Cara would watch them from afar in longing and envy.

The only solace Cara received during their journey was the beauty surrounding them. She hadn't known what to expect while imagining it all on the vessel, but she guessed based on the accounts she's heard in the past of the Free Cities, they would mostly be on dry, sandy land. The landscape before her though was nothing of the sort. Though the climate was hot and extremely humid, trees she had never seen before shot up from the ground and she had never seen greener fields than what she saw now. It was as if they had stepped out from the pits of hell and were received into heaven. Some trees were taller than she'd ever seen with dark, broad leaves protruding from them and some were much smaller with blooms unlikely any she'd ever seen before. As they traveled further away from the city and the villages surrounding it, they soon came upon mountains that rolled across the horizon as far as the eye could see. The further into the mountains they got, the more hills and streams they came across. The group could want for nothing from the forgiving land. Cara was excited, and relieved, for what the future would bring for her and her husband. She was hoping they would finally be able to grow a family here. At the thought, Cara instinctively brought her hand up to her belly knowing there was life growing in its depths. She hadn't told Hermes the news yet afraid the journey may cause too much stress on her and force a miscarriage, but she smiled to herself thinking about how happy he would be with the news.

The group had also surprisingly, and curiously, not encountered many people during their travels. The few people they did pass would only nod at them and continue as if the group didn't appear odd to them. There was only one small group that wanted to talk and possible trade with the group, but Sandor had snarled viciously at them, and they scurried away quickly.

The cart suddenly came to a halt in the late afternoon, indicating they would make camp for the night. The group had developed a routine that seemed to suit all parties. Sansa and Cara would unload any of the bags containing the bedrolls, tents to pitch up, clothes if needed, food, and any other provisions they would need for the night. Sandor and Hermes would unburden the horses and rub them down after having them freed of their reins and have them fed and watered. Cara would take on the tasks of building the small fire for cooking each night and set out any needed cooking supplies close to the flames. Sansa would set up both tents and lay out any bedrolls within while finding a stream or collection of water nearby to fill up their canteens or to wash any grimy clothes, if needed. Sandor and Hermes would leave together to trap or hunt any small animals to eat each night as they soon learned the animals were easy to catch and in abundance in this rich land. Each man would come back with at least two animals in their hands each night and skin them. Hermes never allowed Cara to skin and prepare the animals for cooking, but Sandor would have Sansa huddle close to him to watch how to skin the animal and eventually allowed her to prepare her own after the third night. She had smiled at him when she had done it on her own and he had just looked down at her in admiration. Cara would become almost jealous of their relationship most days now. Her husband didn't encourage her independence and free spirit like Sandor did with Sansa.

Once Cara had the fire at a roaring height and had all the supplies ready for cooking dinner, she looked around and saw the tents and bedrolls had been set up. Cara sat by the fire for some time as she waited on Sansa and the others to return. After several minutes, she looked around and listened for any sign of Sansa's return. She would have usually returned by now to brood next to the cart away from Cara until the men returned but she presumed she may be washing some clothes tonight. When Cara looked over to the bags with clothes, though, none of them had been opened. She started to become worried after several more minutes went by. She went to the lining of the trees to listen for any footsteps or water running. She could hear the faint splashing of water to her left, so she headed in that direction in search of her friend. As she got closer, she could hear what sounded like Sansa crying and she quickened her pace. When she saw Sansa, she immediately stopped. Her back was to her, and she was facing the water on her knees, and Cara could see her slim shoulders shaking from her weeping. Cara looked around to ensure there wasn't any danger then she slowly approached Sansa.

Tentatively from behind her Cara addressed her. "Sansa? Ar-Are you okay?" Sansa startled, immediately jerked up and started collecting the full canteens. She rose and without a word pushed past Cara with tears streaming down her cheeks and her face was flush from crying. Cara grabbed her arm as she was about to pass and said pleadingly, "Sansa, please. Please talk to me."

Sansa immediately squirmed out of her grasp and hissed at her, "Don't touch me!"

Cara was wounded by her tone but persisted anyway. "Sansa please! Don't push me away anymore. Why were you crying?" Sansa glared at her now with contempt. Cara was hurt by her friend's hatred. "Were you thinking of your family?"

Fire was in Sansa's eyes now and she approached Cara and had her face only inches away from Cara's. "You don't get to ask me questions. I don't have to answer to you nor your husband. I thought you were my friend but you're just like everyone else; friendly when it serves your purpose."

Cara grew angry at that as well then. "When it serves my purpose? How was me and you being friends serve me other than give me another woman to talk to?"

"You were only friends with me to get information you could share with your husband. I'm sure you were both laughing each night on how you fooled us both into believing you were truly our friends!"

"We did not! And I never shared with Hermes what you and I talked about. I shared things with you I've never shared with anyone too Sansa. I would never betray your trust by telling him what I knew about you. Never."

Sansa scoffed at her. "Yeah whatever. You can lie to me; you can lie to yourself all you want Cara but I'm not some silly little girl who can't see deception when it stands right in front of me."

Cara was becoming increasingly angry and exasperated at Sansa's unwillingness to accept what Cara had to say as truth. "Look, I'm sorry that we kept Hermes being a spy a secret from you and Sandor, but we didn't have a choice Sansa. If Lord Varys found out we deceived him in any way, he would send one of his hired assassins to kill us. You know that's true! We care about you Sansa, and I wanted to tell you so many times, but I love my husband, and I couldn't risk him being discovered by Sandor." Sansa continued glaring daggers at her, and Cara suddenly felt the bitterness rise within her. "If I didn't care about you, do you really think I would have done what I did with Mal?" At that Sansa's anger dissipated some and she furrowed her brow at her. "If I had only cared about getting close to you to get information for my husband, do you really think I would have baited that man to take me instead?"

Though Sansa still appeared angry, she remained quiet, and Cara could see she was considering what she was saying. "I love you, Sansa. I loved you then and I love you now. You're like a sister to me and I knew if that man raped you, you wouldn't have survived it. You saw how… You saw how I was after." Cara hiccupped then without being able to stop herself. "I hated myself for what happened. I even hated my husband for what happened because he hadn't been there to protect me, but I was in so much pain Sansa. You know this. You're the one who pulled me out of that dark place and allowed me to come to myself again. I don't know where I would be now if it hadn't been for you." Most of the anger was leaving Sansa's face as Cara continued to talk. "Please, Sansa. I know now you're in a dark place now and I just want to be your friend again so I can help you like you helped me. There are some things that only women can talk to each other about."

Sansa suddenly looked very sad at her last statement and Cara suspected that there were only so many things she could talk to Sandor about. Only so many things he could understand. "I-I'm so angry at you Cara for lying to me all this time. All I've ever had since arriving at King's Landing is lying and deceit. It breaks my heart knowing the one of the only friends I've had in years betrayed me. The only person I've been able to trust has been Sandor and now… now I don't know how I feel about him anymore."

Sansa gave a choked sob at that, and Cara was confused about her statement. "What do you mean?"

Sansa looked exasperated and Cara could see she just wanted to break down. "I-I care about Sandor so much but I can't help to feel I've disappointed my father and my mother somehow… Sandor has been a steady constant for me for a long time and I owe him my life but while my mother and brothers were being slaughtered and my only home was being destroyed, I was in the arms of Sandor, the Hound, kissing him like some… like some whore."

Sansa choked another sob at that, and Cara put her hand on her upper arm. "Sansa, you are not a whore. You're the furthest woman from a whore I've ever met. You couldn't control what happened to your family and you deserve some happiness."

"No! No, it-it's not just that. I-I think the Gods are punishing me Cara… They've been punishing me for so long." Sansa had tears running down her cheeks anew now and she had a hopelessness in her eyes. "I deserved what happened to me in King's Landing... I deserved Joffrey's wrath. I killed my own father when I went to the Queen to tell her my father was wanting to send me and my sister away. I was so stupid! All I cared about was my blonde prince and the Gods punished me for my selfishness by having my father's head chopped off, and I probably killed my sister in the process! And now they're punishing me again for wanting Sandor, and for allowing my innocence to be tainted each day… I've kissed him and though it made my heart soar and gave me the bit of happiness I've been searching for; I knew it wasn't right. I'm a maid, and a lady. I shouldn't be kissing a man alone who I'm not betrothed to! I can't help to feel the Gods are punishing me for my actions… and my father and my mother!... What would they say if they saw me now with him and dressed like some boy and fighting like a man! My mother raised me to be a proper lady and my father wanted me to be worthy of a high House. Now I'm on this journey, with all these lustful thoughts, while my family is dead and looking down on me like I'm some whore!"

Cara grabbed Sansa then and allowed her to cry against her shoulder. Cara wasn't brought up the same way as Sansa. Her mother never taught her to be a "lady", just a decent person. Sansa seemed in complete turmoil now and she suspected she felt guilty she was having these thoughts of Sandor. It was obvious they both loved each other.

"Sansa, the Gods aren't punishing you and your family wouldn't be disappointed in you. Look at the woman you've become! You're strong, confident but still have the air of a lady. It's okay to desire Sandor and want happiness for yourself. It's okay to be happy. Don't allow your own self-loathing to keep you from being happy again Sansa. You didn't deserve any of this, it wasn't your fault."

Sansa sniffled some and raised her head to look into her eyes. "I-I love him, Cara. By the Gods, I love him. I think I've loved him for some time now, but I can't help the guilt I feel for…for being glad we might have a chance together now…Unless someone finds us, I'll never have to go back to Westeros again and reclaim the Stark home… Oh Gods, please forgive me! I shouldn't think such thoughts, but I've never wanted to rule. I wasn't born to rule like my brother Rob or even my younger sister could. My father would be so disappointed in me if he knew these words were coming out of mouth, but I don't want to go back. Not now. Not after losing them all! That place that once brought me so much joy and happiness could only bring me bitterness and pain."

Sansa was quietly sobbing again. "It's okay Sansa. It's okay to want something for yourself. It's okay to not want to do what you think others expect of you. You've been on your own now since your father died so you deserve to be with someone who's only there for you."

Sansa wiped away her tears then and looked a bit lost. "It's what I want but I'm also afraid… Sandor awakens parts within myself I never knew were there before. He makes me feel like I can do anything and that no one will ever be able to hurt me again. The strength he has given me frightens me. I hadn't known the weight of my own loneliness and despair until I felt the freedom. He granted me that freedom and has continues to grant me that freedom as the days pass us by... He understands me better than I understand myself… and I-I find I'm more like him than I am myself and he's more myself than I am... Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

Cara just stared at Sansa in uncontrolled shock. She knew Sansa loved Sandor and she knew he loved her back, but it seemed they have grown closer than ever before. Maybe the death of her family made her feelings for him grow now that there was less to keep them apart… she understood now why that would both thrill her and cause her so much grief. She wasn't sure what words she could give to bring her any comfort. "Have you not told Sandor of your thoughts?"

She chuckled almost bitterly at that. "No, I couldn't tell him any of this. He would probably think me a silly girl… besides I've become quite distant with him as far as showing any affection… other than talking and training, I haven't been able to bring myself to enjoy our time together truly. My heart is plagued with guilt at the thought."

Though Cara was relieved her friend was finally speaking to her again, she realized Sansa was in more turmoil that the exterior showed. She felt as though she was being punished by the Gods for loving Sandor and she felt guilty to Sandor for having such thoughts about him. It was obvious Sansa loved Sandor more than Cara could even fathom. She wasn't sure how she was going to pull her from her self-loathing thoughts but then she remembered a conversation she and Sansa had only weeks of knowing each other. Cara and Hermes had been trying to have a baby recently but Cara's moonblood would come each month, crushing all of her hopes. She wanted to have a family with Hermes but she believed the Gods were keeping her infertile to punish the pair for Hermes' dishonorable work with Lord Varys as a spy… What Sansa told her that day brought her comfort then so she would use the same words she used with Cara all that time ago back at her.

"Sansa, do you remember what you told me all those weeks ago when I told you I couldn't get with child?" Sansa removed her hands from her face then and furrowed her brow as if in thought. She looked at Cara then and nodded. "I told you I blamed my husband and his occupation for the reason we couldn't grow our family. I believed the Seven were punishing us both for his involvement with the Spider, but do you remember what you said to me? You said the Gods never punished anyone. You said the Gods didn't work that way, but instead the Gods would place a burden at someone's feet to test their strength and at times to challenge their faith. You told me that the Gods never placed a burden on anyone they couldn't handle; that no matter the pain or despair plaguing someone's heart, the Gods would give them the strength to endure." Sansa had a serene look on her expression then and a pool of tears were collected in her eyes as she looked like something deep within her had suddenly come to the surface. "The Gods aren't punishing you, Sansa. They are placing this burden upon you now to test your strength and you have to be the one to decide how you want to carry out that strength. You're a stronger woman now than you've ever been before and this pain and guilt you are feeling, you can handle it. You can endure."

The tears in Sansa's eyes had slowly disappeared and she seemed to be thinking intently on what Cara had told her. "Per-Perhaps you're right. I've never allowed myself to believe the Gods would be so unforgiving to punish anyone no matter what they may have done in this life, until now… Sandor has given me a strength I've never had before and-and maybe the Gods sent him to me to endure this pain."

Sansa looked to Cara more tenderly now and seemed to look at her with the affection she had only a week ago. Cara let out a sob when Sansa suddenly dropped the canteens she had been holding all this time and embraced her. The two women held each other for some time, crying into each other's necks. Cara heard the crunching of leaves and the quick approach of heavy footsteps, and she didn't need to look to see who it was. When the women parted from each other, Sandor was standing at the lining of the trees breathing heavily and staring at the pair with wide, irritated eyes.

"What the bloody hell are you two doing out here? While you two have been hugging and having you're fucking womanly exchange, Hermes and I came back with neither of you in sight! Hells I thought you'd been abducted under my fucking nose, but no! Here you are holding each other like you're the best of friends." Though he was raging at them both, his eyes never left Sansa. "I know you can protect yourself better now, Sansa but we still don't know for sure if we've been followed and we don't know who else may be lurking around these parts! Hells, I thought I've taught you to be smarter than to wonder off but no, I guess you're still some silly-"

Sandor was immediately cut off when Sansa ran to him and threw herself in his arms. She knocked him back one step as she collided with him and then she searched hungerly for his mouth. Sandor immediately wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground as his anger was forgotten and he claimed her mouth with desperation.

Cara smiled to herself and blushed at the intimate scene in front of her. She dropped to pick up the canteens then left the stream to give the couple some privacy. Cara continued smiling to herself knowing she had a hand allowing Sansa to feel for him again and let go of her pain, if only a small fraction. As she walked back, leisurely to their camp, she thought on what Sansa had said about Sandor giving her strength and confidence in herself. Cara desperately wanted to have the same feeling, but her husband was so resistant to allow her to spread her wings. When Cara broke through the clearing and saw her husband sitting by the fire with his head in his hands distressed, she decided now was the time to find her own strength within herself.

At hearing her approach, Hermes raised his head out of his hands and immediately jumped up to go to her. When he got within arm's reach, he grabbed her and looked her over as if looking for any injuries. Her heart pulled at his concern for her. "Cara! Where were you? Sandor and I returned with a few hares and when we didn't see any sign of either of you, we thought the worst."

"Sansa and I were reconciling…" Hermes rose his brows then smiled at her knowing her friend's silence and rejection had wounded her. He suddenly furrowed his brows at her then and began scolding her.

"Cara, I'm glad to hear you and Sansa have been able to become friends again, but you shouldn't have wondered off. What would have happened if you came across a group of men? I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you. You should be smarter than to-"

Cara cut him off abruptly, suddenly getting angry herself. "Hermes, I was with Sansa, so we were fine. Sansa knows how to fight and we were just on the other side of those trees…" Mustering up her courage she said to him with finality. "Hermes, I'm going to have Sandor teach me how to fight, and if Sandor will refuse now then I'll have Sansa teach me. I'm tired of feeling like some weak woman who must rely on others to keep her safe. I won't be that helpless woman I was when I was attacked by those men. I won't! I want to have the strength that Sansa has now, and I want to be able to help you defend me and our family. I don't give a damn if you refuse me again Hermes. I'll do it whether you permit it or not."

Hermes was looking at her dumbstruck. Cara had always been a dutiful wife who obeyed her husband regardless of what she truly wanted. He looked about ready to argue, but then he closed his eyes and sighed heavily in exasperation. "Cara, I'm supposed to be the one to protect you. I'm your husband. What does it say about me as a man if I have to have my own wife learn the skill of fighting to defend herself?"

Cara's heart reached out to him then knowing he was having a hard time accepting this. "It means that you love your wife more than anything else. It means you would do anything to keep your wife safe and unharmed, even if you have to allow her to do it herself."

He seemed to be thinking on that for some time before replying to her. "I know this is something you want. It's been something you've wanted for some time now… after. Cara, I love you and I never want to see you go through what you went through on that vessel ever again… I give you my consent."

Cara threw herself at her husband then kissing him passionately. She knew this wasn't easy for him but she was relieved he loved her enough to allow her small wish. When Sandor and Sansa came back to the camp, Cara could see Sansa's demeanor was almost as it was a week ago before the news of her family had reached her. She was smiling softly to herself and had a serene look on her face that Cara had missed. As she looked at Sandor, he seemed to have let go some of the tension he had built up in the last several days and there wasn't as much blackness in his eyes.

Sandor

Over a week had gone by since they departed Braavos. The first few days he and Hermes agreed amongst themselves that they would head South to be sure no one was following them. It would lengthen their journey by almost a week but Sandor would have rather had to travel longer than not take every precaution. While looking for game to catch each evening, Sandor and Hermes would split apart to look for any sign that someone had been following or watching them. He still couldn't trust Hermes completely but he didn't have a choice but to accept his word each day that he saw no sign of anyone else. After the third day and feeling assured they weren't being followed, the men turned their course back to the East in pursuit of their destination.

The men only spoke when they had to and the women rarely spoke to each other as they continued on their journey. Sansa had little to say to Cara and Sandor could see it wounded the woman but he really didn't give a shit. Sansa had long ago learned the lesson of trusting anyone and she wasn't the polite, well-mannered lady she used to be. She had grown hardened and Sandor knew it was for the best but what bothered Sandor was how hardened she had become towards him in the first days of traveling. She didn't ignore him and she continued speaking to him like he was her dearest friend but he could see there was a detachment there now. They continued with her training and he showed her how to prepare an animal after a kill to cook but she only seemed to be focused on the tasks he was showing her. There was a look of guilt reflected at him in her eyes and she seemed to purposefully move around him in a way to ensure he wouldn't touch her. At night, when they lay down on the bedrolls in their tent, she made it clear with her body language and the distance she lay next to him that she didn't want any comfort or affection from him. Sandor felt rejected the first few days and worried she was regretting this journey and being here with him but he knew she was still hurting and needed her space.

It had been on the fifth day of their journey when she finally embraced him like he had been longing for. Sandor and Hermes had just come back to the camp after catching and killing some hares for dinner. When they saw the women were nowhere in sight, both men were in a panic. A thousand thoughts went through Sandor's mind as he searched for them but when he finally found them, he was shocked at the sight of them. The women were embraced in each other's arms, quietly crying. He never thought the women would ever reconcile again after seeing Sansa's demeanor with Cara all these days but he suddenly became angry. While he was in a panic, Sansa had wondered off by this stream without giving any thought to how distraught Sandor would be when he didn't find her. He started snarling at the pair and when he saw Sansa softly smiling back at him his blood began boiling even more. Out of nowhere, Sansa charged to him and threw herself against him. He was too disoriented by her to even process in his mind she had captured his mouth against hers in a passion-filled kiss. When his surprise had dissipated, he pulled her tightly to his body and devoured her mouth into his as if he was starved. He never heard Cara leave as he continued to pull Sansa into him. He could almost feel his heart growing in his chest to finally have her back in his arms and have the Sansa that he loved with him.

When they finally pulled away from each other, they were both breathing heavily and all Sandor could do was stare at her stupidly. There was a fire behind her eyes he hadn't seen before and then he realized the look; it was lust. At the realization, he felt a stirring deep within himself and felt a tightness in his britches as his erection grew. He suddenly thought about what it would feel to have her under him, panting with her milky legs wrapped around his waist. He hadn't permitted the thought but now with her eyes piercing him with her want and seeing the flush in her cheeks, he couldn't stop the images clouding his mind.

"Sandor… I-I love you." She breathed the words so quietly and so suddenly he almost denied hearing them. He stood rigidly not knowing how to respond to her. His own lust for her suddenly disappeared and was replaced by disbelief. She loved him? He knew she had affection for him now, but love? His instinct was to immediately snarl at her and call her a silly girl but looking at her now, he knew he couldn't dismiss her like that.

"Love isn't like what it is in the books, Sansa."

She looked insistently at him then and grabbed one of his hands in hers, squeezing tightly. "I know that now Sandor. You taught me that. I don't live in those fairy tales anymore and you know that… You don't have to respond back to me, and I know this may not be easy for you to process, but you have bewitched me body and soul. I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you and it's both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply. You've given me the strength to love you as I do now. I could never love another as I love you."

Sandor's mind was swirling now. He clenched his jaw, swallowed heavily, and his breathing became more erratic. He looked in her eyes, looking for the deception but all he saw was adoration in their depths. He didn't know if he could tell her what she wanted to hear as he wasn't the type of man to speak to the depths of his heart. He did love her though. He knew he longed for her more than he's longed for anything in his life. He knew Sansa deserved this. She deserved to be loved again. "Sansa, I'm a crude man who doesn't have the words you've seen written in poems and those books you read as a girl... But if I know what love is, it's because of you. And I'd choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. I'd find you and I'd choose you… If any man loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn't ever love you as much as I do in a day."

Sansa let out a breath as if she was holding it to hear his response. She placed her small hands on his chest and leaned into him to place a soft kiss on his collarbone. He never felt closer to her now as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight to him. He leaned his head down to place a kiss at her temple. He knew then that nothing would be the same for them after this moment. Too much had been shared between them these last few months and too much had been said just now to go back to who they once were to each other. In vain he has struggled to deny the feelings he has for her. It wouldn't do. The feelings he had now could not be repressed. When they returned to camp, they were both lighter than air. The connection between them now was almost a tangible thing and even though it might have admittedly frightened him, he couldn't push it away even if he tried.

When Cara confidently made the declaration that she would be trained to fight, he had looked expectantly to Hermes. Sandor was surprised the man just nodded his head in surrender. Sandor started on Cara's training that night after dinner, needing something to distract himself from his swirling thoughts of him and Sansa. Though Cara started off awkward and clumsy, she seemed to naturally learn the skill after the first night. He continued practicing with her each day at mid-day when they stopped and each evening. Sansa and Hermes watched the exchange and soon Hermes joined in learning the skill as well. Soon Sansa became an instructor for Cara while Sandor pushed Hermes to his limits. Sandor could see the determination that hadn't at first been present in Sansa from Cara. She was attentive and never complained or whined about the physical task, and she didn't even flinch at Sandor's snarling. Hermes as well was insistent to learn from Sandor. Though the pair, including Sansa, had much to learn, he had to admire their determination and give himself some credit for his ability to teach.

It was the tenth day of their journey when they attacked. As the group was making their way down a pathway surrounded by trees, the group was attacked with no warning. Not a sound could be heard around them until an arrow wisped by Sandor's face to plunge in Hermes' chest.