God she hated feeling like this.

She looked out of their bedroom window. Rick walked by with a basket full of tools and different household items. She knew exactly where he was going, but still had to watch even when their baby inside her stomach kicked away reminding her that this was something they had created together, and she was ridiculous for even allowing herself to doubt this man.

From their bedroom window there was a clear view into the house opposite them. It was a bit more to the left, but Michonne could see the front door so nothing else mattered. Rick was there, charming as always. Carrying the big basket, all sweaty in his cotton off white shirt, hair back and gunbelt hanging from his waist. Why on earth did she have to marry someone who was basically sex on legs.

The door opened, a small brunette woman came outside, with her stupid flannel basic betty shirt on. It made Michonne swallow nervously, to see them interact with smiles and ease. She just wanted to open the window and yell out how he was hers and all the dirty things he did to her the night before. So many emotions that she didn't know how to deal with stirred inside of her, usually she was good at keeping it calm and collected. She was not some jealous witch. She knew her worth and had always been confident. She always carried herself with pride and never allowed anyone to make her feel small or less. No man had that hold on her. Untill now. Somehow this pregnancy made her feel like shit. About the way she looked and the way she felt. She felt out of place.

Rick, devoted as he was made her feel loved, it wasn't like he avoided her or made her feel unattractive. Quite the opposite. He treated her like a goddess from sunrise to sunset. Every single night he came home to hold her, he whispered stupid cheesy stuff in her ear and hoped it would bring him some action. She would have to cackle in her pillow so that she didn't wake up the kids. Usually though he got exactly what he wanted. Or that was how she wanted him to think.

So Rick wasn't giving her any reason to doubt their marriage or how he felt about her. It was simply her own thoughts and insecurities. For Michonne it was infuriaiting that her mind was playing tricks on her. Somehow the new single mom next door got under her skin. She and her three children were rescued by the crew a week ago. While she was puking her guts out her husband made sure the new family settled in. Usually she was the one who handled the people stuff. That wasn't really his strenght. She would listen, help, and make sure they were trustworthy. He didn't have the patience and he trusted her judgment more than his own.

She was one of those plain jane types. Kind of like his deceased wife and another neighbor who he had a breef liking to. She didn't even remember her name right now. Jenny... Wait no, Jessie. Michonne smiled to herself. Her brain seemed to be intact after all. The way Carl had talked about Lori it seemed like this new woman was cut from the same tree. It was even more annoying that she was nice and tried to get to know her. When she was with Judith on the porch she would come and say hi. Her son was almost her age so it shouldn't bother her. Quite the opposite. Judith didn't have tons of kids to play with so this was a jackpot, a kid next door. Why did it seem like the end of the world though?

The door closed downstairs. His boots made the floor creak. She assumed he probably hurried to the refrigator to grab something to eat or drink before running out of the door again. He was always busy during the days. This time instead he ran upstairs to find her.

"Hey," He smiled warmly from the doorway and kicked his boots off, "you alright?"

She shrugged and smiled back, something about her presence was off to him, "I ate a mango and I didn't get sick. Does that count as alright?"

Rick laughed at that, walking up to her, "Where the hell did you get a mango?"

"The King sends his regards.. I guess people are gossiping about me." She crossed her arms over her chest, like she was protecting herself from him, "Everything alright in there?" Michonne changed the subject, pointing at the house next door.

He watched her carefully. His hands lightly touched her shoulders, holding her body still. He always found a way to touch her. It was like a magnet between them. Even before they were more than friends, he had to remind himself that she probably didn't appriciate him crossing boundaries, so he kept his hands to himself. Then little by little, those touches grew. From a light touch to something more meaningful.

"What's wrong?" He ignored her question. Something was up, "is the baby okay?"

"Nothing." Her answer was empty, "the baby is fine."

"No," He pressed, "somethan' is wrong, talk to me."

Michonne groaned. She hated how he had learned to read her.

"I love you." The words rushed out of him, like he was somehow afraid of what she was thinking about. Maybe all of a sudden she didn't want him.

She relaxed then, her body leaning forward to be closer to his, "I Love you too, you know that."

"Then what is it?" He was puzzled.

She breathed in deeply, preparing herself, "Would you have ever been interested in me? Before... All of this."

Rick looked at her, too stunned to speak. He blinked rapidly, the words still not really making sense, "What?"

"I feel like I wouldn't have been your first pick." She blurted out, her gaze turning to the window and the house next door. It sounded ridiculous when she said it outloud.

He was still stunned, then he looked at her and then towards the neighbors house. It felt like she was speaking chinese. What on earth was she even saying?

"Chonne'" Rick laughed nervously, "Are you serious right now? I can't tell."

"I'm very serious." Now she was annoyed.

They stared at each other in silence.

"let me get this straight..." His voice was quiet, "you- think that I chose you just at random? Really?"

He watched as a waveof guilt washed over her face. Her beautiful face. Her round stomach was very visible under her tank top as the sun glistened against her skin. She was everything to him and it made him sad that she would question that.

"I know," Michonne rubbed her temples, visibly agitated, "It's stupid. I don't know what's wrong with me."

He took her hands firmly and led her on their bed. This was their safe haven, this bed which creaked sometimes a little bit too loudly for his liking when he got carried away. Still, this bed was their home. They made plans, made difficult decisions, probably made their baby, and where the grieved for the ones they had lost.

Rick exhaled, "Nothin' is wrong with you." He moved her hair from her face and looked at her with passion, "You are the greatest mother to our children, you are my best friend, my partner, my world- don't you ever question that." He said every word with steely determination, " You are a warrior and I can sleep in this house because of that. Because I know you will tear anybody apart who is a threat to this family inside these walls. And I would choose you over and over again if I had the chance."

Michonne sat silent, her mind processing his words. She sighed, folding her arms around her legs as she moved her knees to her chest.

"You nervous about the ultrasound?" he asked catiously as he moved to sit next her.

"That's today?" Her eyes widened, "I forgot."

He raised his eyebrows, moving his hand to rest on her left knee while giving it a gentle squeeze, "That's today."

"Shit," She blurted out and moved her gaze towards the window, "I was worried about Basic Betty over there and forgot."

"Who the hell is Betty?" He looked very confused.

Michonne burst out laughing, it was so ridiculous. What the hell was wrong with her? These damn hormones.

Rick was still confused and watched her with slight worry. He did not want to piss off his pregnant wife, but this converstation was turning strange.

"I think I owe you an explanation," She relaxed her legs and took his worn out hands in her own, "I got worried. About... The neighbor."

"Laura?" He tried to understand where all of this was coming from, "You think we can't trust her?"

"No-Not that," She quickly corrected because she knew he would be running out of the door if he thought there was a reason to protect his people. After Negan he didn't take chances, "I saw you with her and it reminded me of the beginning. When we came here and you weirdly just went back into what was familiar to you. I don't know... It bothered me to see you with her."

"You're jealous?"

He wanted to drop on the floor because how on earth was it even possible for her to be jealous.

She grimaced at the word jealous, "I mean... I... well yeah I guess so."

"That is the stupidest thang I've ever heard in my life."

"Rick..."

"No," He wasn't having it, "Chonne' seriosly, have you seen yourself? If someone should be worried it should be me! You are just too good to be true. Loyal, strong, beautiful, emphatetic, smart, just fucking amazing at everything. Why the fuck would I risk it all for a stranger who I've known for two seconds."

She felt flustered. With swift movement he lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes,"Years ago when we came to Alexandria I screwed' up. I know that. I wasted my time when you were always there."

"Well back then I probably would have been out of the door if you came onto me." She shifted the conversation, her eyes teasing.

"Oh please," He teased back, "You would have been on me-"

"Hush," she stopped his mind from wandering and turned serious, "I know you love me. I do... I've felt out of place for weeks now. I'm going crazy inside this house. I miss doing things that matter."

"You need to be kinder to yourself," Rick looked at her with his piercing blue eyes and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, "I know with what you went through... In the beginning.. You think the world will fall apart if you are not in control. I know, it's hard to trust."

Rick was right. She knew deep down her spiraling thoughts about the new neighbour were just a smokescreen that she created so that she didn't have to think about all those scenarios that could happen without her precence. It was tough to just sit back and trust the process.

"I'm sorry." Michonne leaned into him and curled both arms around his neck, "by the way, I promise not to tell Daryl you called me your bestfriend."

He snorted and leaned close enough to smell her vanilla scented bodywash on her skin, "He'll live if he hears."

"You do know Carl still owns that title In my books?" A smirk lit up her face.

"Oh is that so?" He made sure to be gentle when he pushed her against the mattress so that he was towering over her, "I don't care if national treasure Dolly Parton walked through those gates, I would still choose you as my best friend. So I hope that makes you feel some type of way."

"Dolly Parton?" She laughed.

"You know," he hovered over her with a smirk and sang with his southern raspy voice, "Jolene... Jolene... Jolene"

"I knew your taste in music was very different from mine, but Dolly Parton?" She wondered as he moved to kiss her neck.

He lifted his gaze to share a memory and smiled, "Ma' loved Dolly. We would sing her songs in the kitchen when I helped her do the dishes. My dad would blast the tv to cover our voices, but we would sing even louder."

Michonne noticed his mind going somewhere, and his playful tone turning more serious. They didn't talk alot about their parents, because the happy memories were followed by dark clouds. She reached his cheek with her hand and he automatically leaned into it for comfort.

"She would have adored you," Rick smiled down at her and caressed her bump with his hand, "She would have loved this one."

"I know."

"No, you are not bringing a gun. "

"I might need-"

"You promised Carl," She held her hand out to him, palm open, "He vouched for him, and Siddiq has already helped alot of people here. So you do not need a gun. People are guarding the gates, if there was an emergency it would take you like thirty seconds to run into our house and retreat it."

He muttered something under his breath and handed her his colt.

"We need to show him that we trust him," She put his colt in the safety box they had hidden in their living room, "Because we are going to need him and he deserves to feel welcomed here after helping our people."

Rick exhaled, "You are right."

"I know I am." Michonne walked past him towards the front door.

"Oh shut up." He laughed then, giving a gentle smack on her bottom before following her outside.

They walked hand in hand. Palms sweating, and emotions running high. She never wanted a sonogram in the beginning, she trusted her body and the signs. Plus traveling to Hilltop while she was sick as a dog for the first few months was out of the question. After Carl came home with Siddiq, Rick made his mission to find everything he needed for their new doctor. That included a portable ultrasound. She wanted to wait until her pregnancy had reached twenty weeks or so. She had tried to count the weeks and hoped she got them right.

"You got this." Rick squeezed her hand.

Michonne squeezed his hand back, "We got this."

People would always smile at them and greet them while they walked the streets of Alexandria. Their home was thriving. New people mixed well with their core group.

As they walked up to the infirmary, they passed their new neighbor Laura chatting away with Tara on the steps. There seemed to be a deep converstation going on. Rick looked at them and then whispered back at his wife, "See. I should be the one worried, not you."

She rolled her eyes at him and pulled him along as they finally reached the infirmary. Siddiq was fiddling with the ultrasound machine, his back turned to the couple by the door.

Rick coughed drawing attention of the doctor who smiled widely at his guests. He stepped towards them and held out his hand for Rick.

He took his hand and shook it, "You know what to do with that thang?"

"Carson taught me the basics when he came by last week," Siddiq explained and turned to Michonne, "I'm going to do my best."

"You better. " Rick grumbled and shifted his stance.

She jabbed him in his side with her elbow, and smiled at the kind doctor, "We know."

He smiled back at them and instructed her to hop on the examination chair. While he pulled his gloves on, Rick kissed her temple and whispered in her ear, "He is alright."

She didn't say anything. She felt odd. At the same time the whole situation was incredibly sad because her first born was gone, but she was also over the moon. This was the definition of bittersweet.

Michonne carefully lifted her purple tank top, exposing her round growing belly. Rick loved that round bump on her, the life they had created, it made him so proud.

Siddiq squeezed the cold gel on her stomach. For him this was almost equally nervewracking. These people opened their home for him, and they were good people. He wanted to be the one to give them the good news.

"So you felt the baby kick yet?" he asked her before starting.

"He started last week." She confirmed.

"Well then, lets see." He turned the machine on and moved the transducer around.

There it was. A loud steady heartbeat filled the room. Michonne felt the tears she had been holding in fall freely. Rick's eyes stayed glued to the monitor. That was his child. Their child. It was so surreall after all of the pain and loss- there he was staring back at something so pure and precious. He kissed her cheek and wiped away her tears of happiness.

Siddiq continued his examination, "That's a very strong healthy heart and by the measurements I'm getting here I would say you are twenty four weeks along."

The power couple was just In awe of this tiny being on the screen and listened to Siddiq explain how the baby was developing. Everything seemed to be just like it was supposed to be.

"You want to know the sex?"

Michonne looked at Rick and then together they could only nod, too speechless to respond.

"Looks like Carl and Judith are having a little sister."

"A girl?" He was shocked. They had been talking about 'him' all this time and he hadn't even thought about the baby being a girl. He looked at her and saw her eyes sparkle with tears again. She looked relieved. He understood why.

"We are having a girl." Michonne smiled without any hesitation.

They looked at each other and Rick laughed, "Judith is gonna hate us."

Siddiq managed to print a picture for them, the ink was a little light, but you could tell there Indeed was baby In that picture. He handed it to Michonne, "Congrats."

"Thank you."

While Siddiq turned away to clean everything, Rick looked at the picture resting in her hands and scoffed, "So I guess RJ is off the table"

"Yeah I guess it is," She looked at him and felt her heart swell, "Since Carl came up with Judith I think it's your turn."

He kissed her wife lightly and all of a sudden pulled away as he grinned to himself from ear to ear.

"What?" she noticed him smirking.

"How about," He looked at her with pure happiness, "Jolene."

"Carl, Judith and Jolene." She had to smile at that, "I love that."