This chapter is a bit of a roller coaster ride and I'm sure some of you will need some tissues. Just a little warning before you begin.
***This has been tough to read for some...so I'm adding a stronger warning to this chapter.***
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Reluctantly, I returned to work that Monday and had lunch planned with Rosemary. She jumped to her feet as I crossed the restaurant, and we embraced like two long-lost friends.
"Look at you," she stated, holding my arms out. "You're so tan."
"We spent a lot of time in the sun."
"And in your room, I suspect," she grinned as we took our seats.
"Well, yes," I informed her as a flash of crimson spread through my cheeks.
"So, tell me all about it."
And that's how we spent our hour. I described the ship and its shows, told her about our snorkeling, zip-lining, time on the beach, and how gorgeous the landscape had been.
"So, when will you be planning yours?" I asked her. "You did, however catch the bouquet."
"Yes, I most definitely did. And I was afraid to see Lee's expression when I turned around, but you know what...he was grinning."
"Really?" I asked her and rested my elbows on the table. "You two seem to have gotten pretty hot and heavy...and quickly."
"Yes, it's been intense. I thought Rhett was the one. I thought we'd had the fairytale courtship and marriage, but after spending time with Lee, it was as if I've been asleep all these years."
"That's wonderful, Rosie. Not that you've missed out, but about you and Lee."
"Yes, it's been eye-opening, to say the least. He's amazing, Beth. He constantly asks for my opinion, wants to know what I want, and takes care of my needs...if you know what I mean."
"Oh, I know exactly what you mean."
We laughed, drawing the attention of many tables around us, but continued with our conversation. It was wonderful to have a friend like Rosie. We had shared so much life together through the years and would do anything for each other. She was truly the best friend I had ever had in my life.
"Well, I guess it's time to get back to work," she said as she checked the time on her phone. "We're already five minutes late."
"Oh, yes. I need to get back. Let's meet again tomorrow."
"Sounds perfect."
We paid our checks, hugged goodbye, then returned to life as usual. This was not easy to do after being spoiled on the ship. Drinks were brought to wherever we sat, room service any time of day, the sun warming our skin, and being able to make love to my husband at any moment. These were only a few of the things I was already missing.
...
The week following our return, Jack and I stood at the sink in the bathroom…staring…waiting. He checked the time on his watch once more – only thirty seconds had passed since the last time he looked. I let out a harsh breath, then Jack put his arms around me and turned us away from the sink.
"Staring at it isn't going to make it work any faster," he whispered into my ear, then kissed my neck.
We held each other as I pressed my forehead to his chest and slowly swayed back and forth as if music was playing around us. His cologne filled my senses as I closed my eyes, wishing, hoping, and praying for the results we both yearned for.
Before I get to what happened next, let me back up a bit. It was a few weeks before our wedding, and I began to feel bad after dinner one evening. At the end of the day, once the kids finally settled down and went to bed and Keesha had been let out for the last time, Jack came into the bedroom to find me curled up with the comforter pulled up to my chin. He sat on the edge of the mattress and tenderly brushed the hair back from my face.
"Beth, you're burning up," he exclaimed, laying his hand on my cheek. "What's going on?"
"I don't know. My throat suddenly started to hurt, and I keep getting chills."
"If you're not better in the morning, I'm taking you to urgent care."
I simply nodded and pulled the comforter closer.
"I'm getting you a cool cloth. I'll be right back."
Jack took care of me most of the night until he finally fell asleep sometime around 3 a.m. He was back up at seven as promised, loaded all of us into the Jeep, dropped the kids and Keesha off at my parent's house, and drove me to urgent care. Three hours later, we were headed home with a bottle of antibiotics and a strep throat diagnosis.
I was miserable all weekend, but Jack waited on me hand and foot and took care of everything. He made every meal for the kids, always with a side of soup for me, washed the laundry, cleaned every dirty dish, and tended to anything else that needed attention. Feeling much better but still a bit under the weather on Monday morning, I decided to take the day off before returning to work on Tuesday. The kids had plans with Grandma and Grandpa Thornton after school, and by the time Jack picked them up, and they arrived home, I was feeling like my old self and had supper waiting on the table. As had become our evening ritual, we sat around the table and ate while Alex and Max told us all about their day and everything they had learned.
As soon as I started feeling bad, I tried to stay away from everyone, and we were very fortunate that Jack and the kids hadn't gotten sick. It was great having life back to normal, taking care of my family, and staying out of bed longer than thirty minutes. Jack, the kids, and I played board games all evening, sprinkled with time with Keesha. And Jack was pleasantly surprised when I came to bed that evening wearing nothing but a smile.
So, this brings us back to us standing in the bathroom and holding each other.
"How much longer now?" I asked him, my face still buried in his chest.
"It's time," he answered after checking his watch once more.
We slowly turned and looked at the plastic stick. How can such a little thing change someone's life so much? Jack looked at it, then at me to see my reaction.
"What's it mean?" he asked.
The smile on my face told him exactly what it meant.
"Really? You are?" he asked, gripping my arms and turning me to face him.
"Yes, we are."
He wrapped his arms around me, spinning in circles, then set me down and looked at the test again. He stared at it as if he couldn't believe it was true.
"So, two lines means you're pregnant?"
"Yes, Jack," I laughed.
He picked up the stick, stared at the results window, then looked at me with a grin that spread across his entire face.
"Are you okay?" I asked him as he stared at the stick again.
"I'm more than okay," he answered and set it down. "Come here," he said, taking my hand and leading me into the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed, and I eased down beside him. He turned, with one leg bent on the mattress and the other foot on the floor, and took my hands in his. "I want a baby with you, Beth. Babies if we are blessed with more than one. I have never wanted a family with someone as much as I want one with you." He leaned down, moved his arms around my waist, and lowered his face to my belly. "Hello, little Babino. You stay safe in there until it's your time to come out. Okay? Then you'll be so loved and spoiled." He kissed my stomach as I raked my fingers through his hair. As he brought his head up, he kissed me and engulfed me in his embrace.
"Do you want to tell anyone?" I asked him as he laid back on the bed.
He thought about it, clearly remembering what happened last time because that's exactly what I was going through my mind. "I don't know," he finally answered. "I think we should at least tell our parents."
"That's what I was thinking," I agreed.
"How are you feeling about this?" Jack asked as he rubbed the top of my leg.
I lay down alongside him, and he put his arm around me. "Very happy," I answered him with a smile. "Surprised."
"Guess your body was telling us you were ready," he grinned.
"I guess so."
"So, antibiotics will do that?" he asked again.
"That's what they say."
"I'm sorry you got sick, but I'm so happy you got sick," he winked at me.
"Me, too," I agreed.
The weeks began to pass quickly, and before I knew it, a small baby bump began to form beneath my clothes. Jack was mesmerized by this, and most evenings, he would lay with his hand on my belly, gently stroking it and staring. He was so excited to become a father again.
As the twelfth week approached, our nerves were on edge as we waited to see if there would be a repeat of the last time. But, the week passed, the thirteenth came and went, and so on. At sixteen weeks pregnant and reaching the point of being unable to hide it any longer, we sat down with the kids to tell them the good news.
"I'm going to be a big brother again?" Max asked, his eyes as wide as saucers. The excitement flickered in his expression as if sparkling lights had been turned on.
"Really?" Alex asked, her expression matching Max's.
"Yes, kids, Mom is really having a baby," Jack answered, grinning ear to ear.
"When?" Alex asked.
"May," I told her.
"That's awesome!" Max shouted and jumped into my arms.
"Be careful," Jack stated and reached for him.
"He's fine," I assured Jack as I wrapped my arms around my son.
Alex moved onto Jack's lap and put her arm around his neck, watching me and grinning.
"What are you smiling at?" I asked her and laughed.
"You and Dad are having a baby together," she said as her smile grew.
"And that makes you happy?" Jack asked her.
"Yes. That means you love each other," she replied.
Jack chuckled and held his daughter close as he looked at me. "Yes, baby girl, we love each other very much.
"And this is the best Christmas present ever!" Max shouted.
...
As I stood in line at the bank, Helen, one of our neighbors, approached me to say hello. As we slowly moved forward toward the tellers, visiting about the first eighteen weeks of my pregnancy, a man suddenly began to yell and waved a gun in the air. My heart stopped as I dropped to the floor. I reached out and grabbed Helen's hand and gripped it tightly. Two others joined the man as they moved through the bank, forcing everyone to the floor.
They pushed us around as they continued barking out commands. Two ordered the tellers to put money into their bags, while the third made us move along a wall facing the front of the bank. One started toward the vault when he heard the leader scream at one of the tellers. She had pushed the silent alarm, and he'd seen it. I heard a loud smack, then what I could only assume was the woman falling to the floor in a heap. Minutes – that felt like hours – passed as we sat and waited, constantly being yelled at. The men had gone around collecting cell phones from everyone. When they reached me, I had already hidden mine in my pants and informed them it was in my car charging. It took some convincing, but they eventually believed me and moved on to the next person. I was thankful for that, because I was on the verge of giving in and handing over my phone.
I sat with my back against the cold tile, my arm cradling my stomach, and stared out the window at the multitude of police vehicles that had begun to arrive. I scanned the faces, looking for my husband when he suddenly appeared. He was giving his men orders when I saw him notice my car. The change of expression on his face was clearly noticeable, even from my vantage point, as the realization of me being inside washed over Jack. I could see him yell, though I couldn't hear him, and he started running toward the building. It took three of his fellow officers, including Lee, to stop him and pull back to the safety of their patrol units.
I saw him pull his phone from his pocket, and I quickly took mine from my waistband and muted it, something Jack had taught me during one of our evening talks. I held it at my side and glanced down to see a text light up my screen. I looked up to ensure the men were not watching me, then opened the message app.
Are you in the bank?
Yes.
Are you okay?
Yes.
How many are there?
Three with guns. Eleven hostages.
Please put your phone away now before you get caught. I love you, Baby.
Okay. I love you, too.
I looked out the window and saw Jack staring at the building as I hid my phone in my pants again. The tinted windows made it difficult to see inside, but I swear Jack was looking directly at me. His texts had been short and straight to the point. He was definitely doing his job, as well as trying to keep me calm so they wouldn't see me react to a message and hurt me – or worse.
I brushed my hand across my slightly swollen belly and closed my eyes. I didn't pray as often as I should, but I was praying then. When I opened my eyes, Jack was not in sight, and my gaze began darting around, trying to find him. This hadn't gone unnoticed by one of the masked men, and he ran toward me.
"What are you looking at?"
"Nothing." My heart instantly began to race.
"It looked like you were looking for someone."
"No, sir."
"You're lying. Who the fuck were you looking for?"
He raised his voice to the point he was scaring me. "I was just looking at all the officers. No one in particular."
"Why? Do you think they're gonna run in here and save you?"
"No, sir," I answered and dropped my eyes to the floor.
I felt the gun barrel press into my shoulder as he forced me against the wall. I called out in pain and looked him in the eyes. He had a mask across his face, covering his nose and mouth, but his ice-blue eyes looked so cold and evil, and I could tell he was grinning.
"Don't get any ideas," he added before finally walking away.
I took several deep breaths once he was a few feet away and laid my hand on my shoulder. Tears were falling now as I wondered if any of us would make it out alive. Without moving my head, I glanced to see where the men were, then began looking for Jack again. It only took me a brief moment to find him this time. He was behind a car, his hands resting on the trunk and his eyes on the ground. It was obviously taking everything he had not to run into the bank. Lee was by his side; I assumed to make certain Jack didn't make any reckless decisions.
Unbeknownst to me, the same masked man had been watching me closely and caught me looking at Jack. He glanced out the window to see Jack leaning on the car as Lee laid his hand on Jack's shoulder, then the man looked at me once more.
"Hey, I think we've got a cop's wife in here!" the man shouted.
My eyes darted to him, and the fear I felt curtain across my face was seen by everyone.
"Is that right?" the group leader asked, moving in my direction.
"No, that isn't right," I said sternly.
"Then why does that cop out there look like he could tear that car in half?"
"I don't know. Maybe...maybe he's worried about all the hostages in here," I said in my most convincing voice.
"Nope. No, ma'am. That," he said as he pointed in Jack's direction, "is not a man worried about strangers."
He grabbed my arm, squeezing it so tightly I thought it might break, and jerked me to my feet. I called out in pain, but that did not stop him. He dragged me to the window and shoved me against the glass, pressing the gun to my head.
I could see the color drain from Lee's face when he saw me, and he smacked Jack on the shoulder. The look on Jack's face was one I had never seen before. Pure anger was taking over him, and I could see him sawing his jaw back and forth as he clenched his hands. Lee held Jack's arms, trying his best to hold him back. I saw Lee call out, and I assumed for more guys to assist.
"See that," the gunman said as he leaned next to my ear. "That is a man with someone special in here. Could that someone be you?"
I was crying now, trying to get my hand between my stomach and the window to protect my baby, but the man had me pressed so hard against the glass that I couldn't move. Jack's eyes were locked on mine as we looked at each other. I thought for sure he would rush the bank in an attempt to save me and end up getting shot himself. I shook my head ever so slightly, trying to tell him no.
"Yep, I think that someone is you," he said as he twisted the gun barrel against my temple. He smelled my neck, then pressed his mouth to my ear. "I wonder what a sweet thing like you tastes like."
The stench of his breath burned into my nostrils, and the heat from his words sent the worst kind of chills through my spine. He was sweating, and his body odor made me want to vomit. I longed to smell Jack's cologne and hear his voice in my ear, but the gun pressing into my head reminded me that I might never feel Jack again.
"What are you doing, Bobby?" one of the masked men asked.
"Damn it, Jones. I told you not to use my name. You stupid asshole! You keep doing that, and I've had it!" Bobby turned the gun on the other man and pulled the trigger.
"What the hell, dude?!" the third gunman yelled.
The noise was deafening as I clutched my ears and dropped to the floor. I kept my eyes on Jack, and he was running at full speed toward the bank. No, Jack. I'm okay. He didn't shoot me. I wanted to scream out to him, to stop him from running into his potential death, but I didn't want to alert the men of Jack approaching. Bobby was fussing over the man he'd just shot, yelling at him and cussing him out. I thought briefly of taking advantage of this and running to the front door, but I was too scared to move.
Lee was on Jack's heels, as were Bill, Ethan, and a few others I didn't recognize. Their guns were drawn, and everyone except Jack was crouched toward the ground as they ran. Jack, however, was not. He was running straight into danger to save me.
Just as Jack reached the door, the gunman returned to me, grabbed my arm, and jerked me to my feet. His arm was around me, my back to his chest, and his gun to my head once more. My nose burned from the smell of the smoking gunpowder, and the heated barrel burned my skin.
Jack burst in, keeping his gun trained on the man, with no thought of his own safety. As soon as he saw me standing and no apparent blood visible anywhere, I could see the relief wash over him.
"I'll shoot her," Bobby yelled, pushing the barrel into my temple.
"Okay, okay," Jack said as he held his hands in the air, his gun still in his grasp. "Don't do anything stupid."
Too late for that. I kept my eyes on Jack and tried not to focus on the pain that was resonating through my head. My hand drifted to my belly again, in a feeble attempt to protect my baby.
"What do you want, man?" Jack asked as he took a step forward.
"Stop moving!" Bobby shouted and shoved the gun so firmly to my temple that my head practically touched my shoulder.
"Okay, okay," Jack said and stepped back.
I could see Lee and the others just outside the door, waiting for any sign to rush in. Jack held a hand down, telling them to stand firm.
"How can we help you?" Jack asked.
"Get your ass out of this building to start with," Bobby demanded. "Then you can take all your men and leave."
"I'm sorry, but that is not going to happen," Jack said firmly.
"Then I guess I can just kill this pretty little thing right now and get it over with," Bobby said and brushed his fingers along my neck. I wanted to vomit.
"I don't recommend doing that," Jack said as he straightened and stood tall. "I don't recommend that at all."
"Oh, why's that? Is this little lady yours?"
Jack didn't answer but locked his eyes on me. His breathing was becoming rapid again, his chest heaving, and his eyes filled with that anger once more. I could see him tighten his grip on his gun as his finger slid to the trigger.
"I'm sure there is something we can do for you," Jack started again, slightly relaxing his hand.
"We want a van."
"Okay, a van. I think I can arrange that. But what do we get in return?"
"She gets to live," he said as he pressed the gun to my skin again.
"How about we let her go? And a couple of others," Jack added, motioning to the hostages lined along the wall.
"Hmm...I'm not so sure about that. How about we see that van first? Then we can talk."
"Okay," Jack said and looked at Lee. The bank door was open, and Jack shared the demand. "Get a van here ASAP," he told him.
Lee nodded, then spoke into the mic on his shoulder.
"Okay, we've ordered a van. How about you show us a little faith."
Bobby motioned toward a little girl curled on her mother's lap. "You can have her."
"Come here, sweetheart," Jack said and knelt, holding his arms out. The mother pushed her daughter to her feet and told her to run. Jack scooped her up and passed the little girl through the door and into Lee's arms. "Very good. Thank you. How about one more?"
"One demand, one kid. Fair is fair," Bobby said. "Now, how about you wait outside until that van shows up? Maybe you can convince them to hurry it along."
"That's not going to happen," Jack assured him. "And...they'll hurry."
I saw Jack lower his hand and give Lee some sort of signal, then Lee spoke into the mic again.
"Can we at least allow the lady to join the others on the floor?" Jack asked, trying everything he could to get me out of the arms of Bobby.
"What? You don't want me using your wife against you."
The look on Jack's face gave him away. He was ill-prepared to keep up his defenses when I was involved.
"That's what I thought," Bobby said. "Hey, this sweet thing is this officer's little wife."
"Sounds like we've got all the leverage," the second gunman said.
With all the stress of the gun at my head and Jack running into danger, I had forgotten all about the other gunmen. One lay dead on the floor, but the other had been pacing back and forth in front of the hostages.
"Fine. So, you figured it out. She's my wife. There's no point in hiding what you already know. You know who she is. Now tell me who that is," Jack said, pointing to the man lying in a pool of blood.
"Oh, Jones over there? He's one less asshole and one less person to take a share of our money."
"I guess that's one way to look at it," Jack said, locking eyes with me again. I was certain he was keeping the man talking to pass the time and to keep me alive. "So, once the van is here, then what? What will you do next?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business. We'll be out of your hair, and you can return to your perfect little life."
"Sounds like you have it all planned out."
"I'd like to think so," Bobby answered.
"Okay. Then, as soon as the van arrives, you and your buddy here can take your money and take off."
"We might need a little insurance," Bobby added and tightened his hold on my arm. My twisted expression set Jack off, and he lifted his gun. Instinctively, Bobby, having eased the pressure of the gun at my head, pressed it into my flesh once more. "Lower your gun, or the little missus here gets it."
The anger that flashed in Jack's eyes almost scared me as he shifted his hold on his gun. Finally giving in, he lowered it and returned it to the holster.
"Very good," Bobby patronizingly stated. "Now, why don't you step outside with your buddies."
"As I said, that's not going to happen," Jack informed him.
Lee called something out to Jack, and we turned our attention outside. A large white cargo van pulled up and parked just outside the entrance, and then someone slid the side door open.
"Your ride has arrived," Jack said, resting his hand on his gun. "Now, you don't need her, just take your money and go. I'll personally guarantee that no one here will follow you."
"Somehow, I don't trust you," Bobby remarked. "I still think we need a little insurance, so we'll be taking her with us."
"Take me," Jack said and stepped forward. He pulled his gun and tossed it aside. "You don't need her. Take me."
"Hmm, as tempting as that sounds, no thanks. I think her life is worth a bit more."
"Don't you think a cop's life will be worth more than this woman's?"
"But this isn't just a woman," Bobby stated and brushed his hand across my neck. I thought I might be sick. "This is a cop's woman."
"Come on, man. Just let her go," Jack pleaded.
"Move your ass out of my way."
"I'm not moving."
Bobby removed the gun from my head and pointed it toward Jack. "Then I'll move you."
"Nooo!" I shouted and pushed the man away.
Jack reached to his back, pulled out another gun, and had it on Bobby before the man could react. A shot echoed through the bank, but I was on the floor and could not see if anyone had been hit. A hand grabbed me, jerking me up again, and as I was dragged toward the door, I could tell by the stench that it was Bobby. I fought against him, kicking and refusing to stand. This just aggravated him even more. He grabbed my hair, forced me to my feet, and shoved me into the door frame. A sharp pain shot through my abdomen as I crumpled to the floor in a heap. As my vision slowly went dark, I saw Jack and a flash of red leap through the air, taking down the masked gunman.
The rest of the day was a blur as I went in and out of consciousness. I opened my eyes to find Jack hovering over me, talking to me, caressing my cheek. Then darkness closed in again. The next time my eyes opened, I was being loaded into an ambulance, and Jack was gripping my hand, stepping inside with me. I thought I heard voices telling him they needed to check him out, but darkness only pulled me away once more.
A bright light was over me as I searched for Jack, but he was nowhere around. Nurses and doctors circled my bed, and a mask was placed over my nose and mouth. Someone was talking to me softly, telling me that everything would be over soon. Just before the blackness engulfed the last bit of light, I heard her say, "She's ready."
When I finally woke, I was told I'd been in the hospital for two days. The impact of my body meeting the doorframe had ruptured my spleen, and they had done emergency surgery. But that's not all that happened. Jack was with me, my hand in his against his chest, his head hung low as he held it in his free hand. The news that had come out of his mouth was not registering with me at first, but then reality began to set in.
We had lost our son. Our son. We hadn't found out the sex before this day, but once the doctor delivered my stillborn child during my surgery, they informed Jack that he'd had a son. Between the stress of the bank robbery and everything it had entailed, coupled with Bobby throwing me against the metal, I'd lost the baby.
Jack was crying as he held my hand to his lips. I could feel his tears as they fell onto my fingers and ran down the back of my hand. I was currently in too much shock to cry, but it would definitely come soon. Jack moved his arm around me, being careful to avoid my incision. I held him as his body shook with emotions – a mixture of despair for losing his child and relief that I would be okay. I laid my hand on his head, and he reached up and gripped it, holding it against him as proof that I was alive.
Everyone had left the room, giving us the time and space we needed to begin our grieving. Jack's head was lying on my chest as he continued to cry. My breathing quickened as I lay my hand on my abdomen, feeling the obvious absence of where my child once was. My throat felt like it would close up, my eyes began to well, and the burning tears spilled over. I had lost another baby. Another child that Jack and I had created. Another life we will never hold. It was becoming more than I could take, and the dam broke free as I convulsed into uncontrollable sobs. Jack moved onto the bed alongside me and wrapped me in his arms. The incision area throbbed a bit, but I didn't care. I wanted to be in my husband's embrace and feel the security of his arms around me and his enveloping love. I wanted our baby back, to feel him move in my womb. I wanted to hear his heartbeat at the next scheduled ultrasound. I wanted to hear his voice as he cried out when he entered the world. None of these things would ever happen, and I longed to curl up into a tiny ball and stay away from the evil world that lurked outside those stark, cold hospital walls.