Silhouette

Part 1 - Control

Chapter 1 - Accident

Author Notes:

-This is going to be long. Are you in for a ride? There are some things we need to go over real quick before you dig into it, though:
-This is probably going to be my darkest fic for DragonBall. It's not light-hearted. It's scary. It's kinky (a little, at times). It's sad. It's bittersweet. It completely fucks over Goku's character because of what happens. This is also really, really rough on Chi-Chi. It hurts. A lot. Still here? Do you trust me?
-This is split into 3 parts. I have worked out the 1st part to be 20 chapters. Then there's a time skip and I don't know beyond that. I'm still working on the exact details of when and how everything falls into place. But I figured I was holding this part back from readers for long enough.
-I HAVE done research into D.I.D. but I am not an expert by any means and some things I decided to play up or mess with for the sake of the story. Don't rely on me for accuracy in this field, just know I've tried.

Ao3-type Tags: Author Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings; GoChi; heavy angst; drama; dark; psychology (some fact, some fiction); Dissociative Identity Disorder; Kakarot; Temporary Character Death (b/c dragon balls); eventual smut (some sweet, some lite!bdsm w/ collars and stuff kinky); dealing with trauma; identity issues; background relationships - Gohan/Videl, Krillin/18, Vegeta/Bulma, Goten/Marron, Kakarot/Chi-Chi (yes, it's complicated)

~!~

Saiyans are a warrior race. We were raised, programmed to kill from the moment we were born.

"Wake up, Kakarot."

Judged by power level, sent out as babies to destroy planets, heralded as being one of the best races in the business.

"Wake up, Kakarot. Destroy all life forms."

If not for an accident as a baby, my story would have been very different. We never really thought about it, though. What harm could a 'what if' cause us?

"Wake up, Kakarot. Destroy..."

~!~

Training under Whis with Vegeta excited Goku beyond belief. He had so many things to learn and he couldn't get enough. Not to mention, sparring so often with Vegeta gave him a rush all on its own. If they had trained like this years ago, Goku could only imagine what his power would be by now. Vegeta had been so stubborn about not doing such things together, and Chi-Chi had demanded Goku help work the farm, but right now he enjoyed the experience of his dreams.

Rushing, dodging, blocking, attacking…

Take a breath, then instant transmission to catch Vegeta off guard. Swing. Miss. Freak out when the attack is noticed too late. Barely move away in time as Vegeta continues to come at him.

It felt like a never-ending bout. They flew through the planet of the God of Destruction, each connected blow causing the world to shake. Lost in the battle, lost in the moment.

Grins, smirks, eyes lighting up.

Even if he wasn't a Saiyan and this wasn't in his blood, Goku was sure he'd enjoy this kind of sparring match. Fighting was his life.

Ever since he could talk, he'd been swinging and fighting. Ever since he learned martial arts, he'd been pushing to overcome his own limits. This was just another step on that path, that never-ending journey.

Fly backwards to try for a better position, racing around the sky above the lake. Grit his teeth as the wind pressure fights him, as he glares at Vegeta who is coming up close. Spring higher into the sky.

Out of the corner of his eye, Goku noticed a certain cat like God of Destruction ambling along the ground. Hm. Beerus was awake. No wonder Whis had called off the immediate training and left the two Saiyans to their own sparring.

Pain in his jaw as a fist connects with his face. He spins away and rubs his cheek. Instant transmission around Vegeta. Clock the other Saiyan in the back of the head. Earn a curse and a swing kick for his efforts. Dodge. Blink. Instant transmission again.

"Kakarot," Vegeta scowled. "You piece of shit."

Smirk. Instant transmission again. And again. And again. Bouncing around to different places around Vegeta's ki signature. Piss him off. Then rush away. Gather energy.

"Ka...me….ha...me…."

"You-!" Vegeta growled, then pulled back to gather his own energy.

"Ha!"

Energy explodes into being. Blue lights rush through the planet toward Vegeta. Blue and white colors in his vision. It collides with another beam. He pushes for control. More force. Screams as he adds more.

The transformation lit the sky yellow, then blue, as Goku exploded first through the Super Saiyan feelings, then to the explosion of god ki. Below, he noticed Beerus grumbling something to Whis. A yawn. Whis caught his gaze.

Oh, shit, he'd broken the rule and Whis was pissed. Or as pissed as the neutral watcher could be. Vegeta, though, Vegeta was angry for sure. The rule said no transformations. Work on your attacks in base form only and all that.

With a sheepish smile, Goku pulled away from the blast and let it go off into the middle of nowhere on this planet. Not paying attention to Vegeta, he dropped his transformation and landed on the ground in front of Whis and Beerus.

"Sorry," he said with a grin. "Guess I got a little carried away."

"Indeed you did," Whis said. "But I suppose that means you've learned nothing. Still letting your instincts run wild, I see."

Goku shrugged. "Harder to break habits than you'd think."

"Idiot," Vegeta growled as he came up behind Goku and smacked him on the head. "If you hadn't pulled that shit, I would've had you, Kakarot!"

Rubbing his head, Goku barked a laugh. "Yeah, right. I just got excited, that's all."

"Hmph."

Before more could be said, Beerus stepped up and yawned, swaying from side to side. The God of Destruction rubbed at his eyes, then glared at both of the Saiyans. Goku tried a smile. Fighting Beerus could be fun in its own right, but now wasn't the time.

"You two," Beerus scowled. "Had better not destroy anything on my planet."

Whis chuckled. "As if you don't do anything on your own, my lord."

"That's different, Whis," Beerus said, whirling on his companion. "It's my place so why would I not cause destruction at my leisure? These two are just here for training and their destruction is simply caused by carelessness. I'd rather they not, especially when I'm trying to nap."

Hands on his hips, Goku grinned at the God of Destruction, all while Vegeta scoffed behind him. He enjoyed the relationship he had built with these two, all in the name of saving Earth and managing that much by the skin of his teeth. Now that they'd fallen in for all the wonderful food on Earth, Goku felt there was no reason to worry about them destroying the planet he called home.

So of course he relaxed around them. Turning around to face Vegeta, he chuckled. The tightly wound Prince of all Saiyans thought of the relationship differently. He'd known who Beerus was and been intimidated, only now finally simmering down enough to feel comfortable up here. All for the sake of training and passing him in strength.

Like that would ever happen. Goku wouldn't give Vegeta the chance to catch up. And he was so lucky cause Chi-Chi understood where his passion landed him, only griping if he was gone for too long.

"Why are they still here anyway?" Beerus asked, now behind Goku. "Did they bring more delectable dishes?"

"Oh yes," Whis responded. "This time a nice plate of tasty desserts."

Goku grinned at the words, already feeling pride in his chest. The food had come from more than Bulma this time. Chi-Chi had sent him here with a plate of her own tasty treats. Of course, it wouldn't be likely for Beerus and Whis to share, but it was still nice to imagine how much they would enjoy his wife's dishes. Nothing in the universe, or multiverse, or anything, ever, could beat Chi-Chi's cooking.

"Kakarot!"

At Vegeta's explanation, Goku frowned at the other Saiyan. What was he freaking out over? And why jump to stand way over there? The words sat on the tip of his tongue.

They sat there and never left. A crack of pain slammed into the back of his head. Harder than anything he'd ever felt before, at some place that was already sensitive, like the same area where he was knocked on his head as a child. Maybe. It actually brought him back to thinking of that old twinge, that scar…

Not to mention it hurt. And he was flying through the air. And then in the water of the nearby lake. And then. And then…losing…focus…

~!~

What? Where am I? What's going on? Why does my head hurt? Why do I feel so...am I drowning?! Wait! These memories…

…

Oh. I see. Some motherfucker stole my life. They're going to pay for this.

~!~

"Oh my, Beerus, seems you managed a hit on the Super Saiyan God."

Beerus' eyes narrowed as he joined Whis in watching the tailless, light-hearted Saiyan get flung across the ground into the large lake of the planet. Whis pursed his lips. Judging by the strength of the blow, Goku would be hitting the bottom of the lake with considerable force. It would be interesting to see if the Saiyan managed to bounce back in time to not drown. Well, he had three minutes to spare. If he did drown, Whis could still rewind time to fix the problem.

"Serves him right," Beerus muttered beside him. "You did tell him about not being too relaxed, didn't you?"

"Yes, but somehow I doubt this will help him learn better," Whis sighed. "He seems pretty determined to remain the way he is only stronger."

While waiting to see if Goku would surface, Whis cast a curious eye over to Vegeta. The Saiyan Prince was standing in pretty much his same position as earlier, though he, too, was turned slightly to face the lake where his rival had disappeared. The prince may not have been the greatest at showing concern, but he did have the decency to at least frown at how long it was taking Goku to surface. His posture indicated a slight semblance of worry. After all, Vegeta had admitted several times that if not for Goku pushing ahead all the time he wouldn't have gained or unlocked as much power as he had over the years. An interesting friendly rivalry, though Vegeta did mouth the word "idiot," and only seconds before Goku finally sprang away from the lake's surface with a rather unsettling splash.

Hovering in the sky above the lake, Goku gasped for breath. Noting that Goku was covered in water but no blood, Whis hummed in interest. A blow to the back of the head from the God of Destruction and somehow Goku had managed to break away unscathed. Pretty impressive for a Saiyan, if you asked him.

"Oh man – I was knocked out for a while there!" Goku exclaimed as he gasped for breath, blinked a few times, and then brought his hands to his head to rub his scalp in quick motions. "Ow! Owowowowowowow – jeez – that really, really hurt! What even was that?"

Ah, so not entirely unscathed then.

Before he could lecture the Saiyan on his poor choice of stubborn relaxation, Beerus stood up straighter and beat him to the punch. "You might want to actually be on guard whenever I'm awake, you know. If a simple sneeze of mine can take you out, there's really no point in all the strength you're gaining."

Grumbling a bit under his breath, Goku continued to rub at his head. "Yeah, I guess I really should start paying more attention, huh?"

"Indeed," Beerus hummed as he turned to Whis, dismissing the Saiyan outright. "Now, Whis, about these dessert items."

"Man," Goku muttered as he slowly landed next to Vegeta, this time heeding the warning about ignoring Beerus' presence. "It just keeps stinging."

Sending a glance to Goku at his comment, Whis logged the information and decided to focus on the easily irritable god in front of him. "Ah yes, Ladies Bulma and Chi-Chi both had a plate of little cakes they made themselves."

"Huh? Chi-Chi made something, too?"

Ignoring the Saiyan's comments, Whis instead watched Beerus' eyes light up at the mention of cake. "Well, I hope you share, Whis. I'm not exactly pleased at being woken up so early."

"Of course, Lord Beerus," Whis said with a smile.

In one smooth gesture, he released the plate of desserts from his staff and watched Beerus salivate at their appearance. He really did remind him of an easily irritable cat at times, especially when he rubbed his long ears like that. Or when his eyes grew pleased at the prospect of food. Of course, he would never dare to compare the God of Destruction to a house cat. Whis smirked. Not out loud at least.

Although he was mostly focused on pleasing Lord Beerus, Whis did manage to catch a bit of the Saiyan conversation happening just a few feet beyond them. Normally he didn't care, didn't pay attention. But there was something different in Goku's mannerisms. Had hitting his head caused some strange phenomena?

He had to keep an eye on this Saiyan for sure now.

"Kakarot."

"What? You annoyed or somethin'?"

"What do you think? Why are you still acting like that blow actually hurt?"

"I'm not acting. It really did hurt, you know. And like I said, it just keeps stinging for some reason."

"Well get over it. You're inflating his ego."

"Shut up. You're getting annoying."

Whis blinked. That was certainly an interesting attitude to hear from Goku of all people. Though the comment had managed to appease Beerus. The God of Destruction did not like to hear others mocking his ego, but since Goku had already snapped at Vegeta, Lord Beerus seemed less inclined to jump into the middle of that mess.

"These have quite the delicious flavor, Whis."

"Indeed," Whis said, snatching a cake for himself. "I do believe Lady Chi-Chi is the better cook of the two. I almost feel cheated by Bulma."

Apparently, bringing up the cooking ability of the Saiyan wives was enough to get them to interject into the conversation, dropping their own banter. "Kakarot's harpy may be the better cook, but it's always the same things with her. Bulma at least has a variety of options for you."

"Mmm, yes, possibly," Beerus mumbled around the food in his mouth. "But I don't think I would mind eating these for the rest of eternity. They're very good."

Before Whis could add his own commentary on the Saiyan wives, Goku decided to growl and send a glare to his rival. Since growling from Goku was definitely a new development, Whis decided to hang back and see what might happen.

"Don't call her a harpy."

Oh, yes, definitely an attitude. While this kind of banter was typical between these two, Goku's reaction was a little more overboard than usual. Whis decided to prod further.

"Oh, it looks like you've struck some kind of nerve with him, Vegeta."

Vegeta responded in his typical fashion, shrugging through the warning by tacking on more insults. "Tch. Whatever. Seems like all she's good for is food and sex anyway. Which is just perfect for a low class warrior, you know."

Whis sighed. Just another typical dance for the two of them,then. Vegeta pretending to rile Goku up with over-the-top insults about his class or family. Goku pretending to take them seriously. All in order to get a fight started between them. Nothing new to see after -

Energy formed and was shot directly toward Vegeta's face – an attack the prince dodged with just as much shock present in his moves as what Whis felt watching the action take place. Goku was still glaring. "Don't talk about Chi-Chi, Vegeta."

"What the hell?" Vegeta exclaimed, arms no longer crossed. "Since when do you react like that?"

Holding his glare, Goku brought his hand into a fist. "Since you started insulting my wife. All because your relationship with Bulma is nothing but sex, doesn't mean mine is with Chi-Chi."

Whis hummed at the new development. "The plot thickens."

"I didn't say mine was," Vegeta growled. "I very clearly stated how yours so obviously is because there's no other reason you'd put up with the bitch and it's all right if that's all she gives you 'cause what else can you expect from a low class such as yourself."

Goku's glare didn't falter in the least. In fact, it seemed to grow. "Stop saying I'm a low class warrior. Especially if you're the only thing to compare to. My son was stronger than you once."

Maybe it was the smirk on Goku's face. Maybe it was the words. For whatever reason, the prideful Saiyan Prince dropped into an aggressive stance, as if saying the game was over. The playfulness was gone and in its place – a building, heavily accented hatred.

"Once," Vegeta said. "He's fallen into true low class roots now, giving up on training just as one could expect being raised by your weakling of a wife."

Whis sucked in a breath at the insult, and with good reason. As he suspected, Goku did not respond well to those words, jumping quickly to his Super Saiyan status and springing toward Vegeta with all the rage expected from their kind. Of course, Vegeta quickly matched his rival's power boost and suddenly the two were entangled in quick jabs full of thunderous clashes and sparking motions. Fury at its finest, purest form.

Well, for the most part.

"Saiyans," Beerus muttered.

Although the God of Destruction showed little interest in watching the fight, Whis hummed as he noticed one strange little detail. "That's new. Goku's form has changed slightly. He's become more aggressive."

Beerus simply shrugged beside him. "Probably just the rage. He seems the least likely to know how to control himself since he's so relaxed and impulsive all the time."

"That may be, but unlike before this does seem more controlled. He's calculating his moves more carefully now."

"Really now? Hm. That certainly is new," Beerus said, leaning forward as his interest in the Saiyan fight suddenly peaked. "Vegeta seems confused by it, too. The flow in their usual sparring is more disjointed. Perhaps Goku has finally decided to listen and take your advice seriously."

"Perhaps I pegged him wrong. I thought he was too stubborn to let a little blow to the head make him change his mind."

Tilting his head, Beerus hummed. "If Frieza's ray gun didn't change his mind, then I doubt my attack had much to do with it either. Unless of course the amount of times he's been injured because of his over-relaxed state have finally outweighed his stubbornness."

"Maybe," Whis muttered, still watching the Saiyans bounce around the planet as their fight grew more and more aggressive. "Or maybe Vegeta has just pushed him over the edge. I never thought I would see Saiyans pushed to fight over insults about their family."

"That's a good point. They're not supposed to be a very family centered race. Too caught up in their own blood lust half the time," Beerus said as he scratched at his ear. "Though both of them have shown to be very different from the average Saiyan. Goku most of all."

"Yes," Whis nodded. "Starting with how he refuses to go by his Saiyan name. Well, I suppose 'refuse' isn't the right term, since he responds to Vegeta using it."

"Another interesting point. These two are strange to begin with." Beerus paused and Whis could feel the god's eyes on him. "Is that why you agreed to train them? Because they are both enigmas? I know you wouldn't give in to something so exhausting just for food, even if it's delicious Earth food."

Whis held up his hands in mock surrender. "Looks like I've been caught. Do you want me to end my deal with them and send them home – never to receive their delicious food ever again?"

"Oh no, nothing so rash," Beerus said rather quickly, waving his hand in the air. "Nice to know you aren't so easily bought, though it is clever of you to get food out of the bargain. I assume you would have trained them either way, if just to study them more."

Frowning, Whis focused his attention back on the Saiyans. Their fight was still just as heated as earlier. If they didn't calm down soon, he might have to intervene. A friendly spar was all well and good but at the way their powers kept fluctuating…

"I might not have trained them if it weren't for the food," he admitted to Beerus. "But I would be monitoring them."

"Hm," Beerus sighed. "All right then, Whis. Tell me. What new developments have you discovered about your little monkey experiment? What makes them so different and why?"

"I've learned that Goku was sent to Earth as a child to destroy it but some sort of accident stopped that. From my understanding, he would have been much stronger if not for that moment."

"Much stronger, huh?" Beerus repeated, his attention going back to the fight just in time to watch Vegeta get knocked down from the aerial battle. Whis sighed at the timing. "Now that certainly is an interesting development. Some sort of accident and the Earth is saved because the Saiyan known as Kakarot is no longer as bloodthirsty as the rest of his race."

"Could make a good book series, if you asked me," Whis muttered, eyes shifting from a smirking Goku to a raging Saiyan Prince. "The question remains of what turned Vegeta. That's one puzzle I have yet to solve."

"Mmm. Indeed. I never imagined I would find the Saiyan Prince living so peacefully on a backwater planet."

"I don't believe he did either," Whis muttered back, hardly paying attention to the conversation any longer. "Who knows how long it took him to accept that he was."

All conversation momentarily halted as energy began to rise, focused at one specific point: Goku. Even more specifically: Goku's hands. The Saiyan was bending down with his hands at his side, chanting the syllables for one of his iconic energy beams. Whis narrowed his eyes as he felt the energy rise. The Kamehamaha was not something easily brushed aside and by the looks of it, Vegeta was preparing one of his own iconic energy waves in response.

When the two beams fired and clashed, Beerus actually stepped forward, as if curious to see who might win. And then Goku pushed into the blue Super Saiyan mode, causing Vegeta to scramble to meet him at his own game. All while precious ki energy seeped from the both of them.

Whis sighed. "They never learn."

This dance wasn't all too different from before, right down to the beam clash. So much wasted ki trailing around the two, crackling out as far as where Beerus and Whis stood to watch. What was the point of training them and instructing them if they wouldn't learn?

Then again, he still wanted to keep an eye on them. On Goku especially. That blow to his head coupled with his changed fighting style and new attitude. Hm. Something interesting was bound to happen in the future. Maybe he should send them home and see what came of it.