14th February 2017 – Santana
I'm dead inside and just want to go home. It's early in the morning and a little quiet has just set in at the diner. I've been here since midnight and all I really want is sleep. My gaze wanders through the almost empty diner when the bell above the front door rings and I see my girlfriend walking towards me, grinning widely and holding a bouquet of flowers.
"Good morning.", she greets me happily while I frown.
"It's way too early to say good morning to anyone, don't you think?"
"I love how you're a morning grouch and work at a diner with the most flexible hours in the world."
Sometimes I wonder why I'm doing this, but then I count my tips and I know why.
"Who are the flowers for?", I nod to the roses in her hand.
"Hm, who are the flowers for?", Brittany taps her nose with her free hand and turns around once before she looks at me again.
"Of course they are for you.", she hands me the flowers over the counter, "and yes, they're roses. Billions of people get them today and I would normally give you others, but I think they're suitable for Valentine's Day."
"Even if you don't want to hear that, you're sweet as candy.", I smell the roses, discovering the card hidden at the top of the bouquet.
"What's the progression of saccharine? I'm pretty sure you'll need it."
"Someone is very self-confident there," I raise an eyebrow, picking up the card.
"Rightly so, of course, what do you think of me?"
"All the best, don't worry.", I assure her, turning the card over so I can finally read her message. However, there is nothing on it.
"There is nothing written down?" I show her the blank card and she nods, grinning broadly, reaches into the inside pocket of her coat.
"You've got to earn the label.", she waves a stack of white cards in front of me.
"And how?"
"Wait in the loft at 8 p.m. fully dressed, ready for a date with me."
"What are we doing?"
"It's a surprise. But I have to go now, so see you tonight.", she kisses me lightly on the lips and then she's gone, leaving me flabbergasted.
This is the first time she's kissed me in public since Dani. She didn't even look around beforehand to see if anyone was looking at us, which was certainly the case, because this huge bouquet of flowers has its effect. In general, Brittany has been somehow differently happy for days. I don't even know how to describe it, but apparently going to church every Sunday does her good. Or the contact with Finn. Or a mix of both. Whatever it is, I'm glad she is and seems to be getting more and more comfortable with us.
"Santana, we have guests.", I get a glare from my boss and normally I would be annoyed, but one look at the roses and I can only grin stupidly.
/
The goofy grin comes straight back as I wake up and look at my dresser. That's where I placed the flowers before I finally went to sleep. I take my cell phone from the bedside table to check the time and realize that it is already 4:30 p.m. I know I'm going to spend ages trying to find the perfect outfit again, so I quickly get out of bed and head straight for the bathroom.
Half an hour later I am relatively fresh and awake and able to open my eyes properly. Before I take care of the outfit, I make my way to the kitchen, where I at least treat myself to a small snack. I don't know if Britt and I are going to eat today, otherwise we'll have to pull over to the drive-thru somewhere.
"Oh, you're already awake, I thought you'd be sleeping through the whole day.", Rachel appears behind me while I'm preparing a sandwich.
"My body is overwhelmed when I have to work at night, if it weren't for Britt, I would just keep sleeping."
"Speaking of Britt, she brought something for you, it's on the table in the living room."
"What is it?"
"I don't know, it's in a box. What are you doing tonight?"
"I don't know, she just said she'll pick me up at 8 p.m.", I shrug, putting the groceries away again and taking the sandwich on a plate into the living room. Rach follows me because she's usually more curious than me. I put my food down and open the box, pulling out the piece of fabric inside.
"A dress.", I murmur, taking a closer look at the garment. It's red, floor-length, sleeveless, and has a low-cut back. In addition, it glitters slightly. Brittany knows me too well because she meets my taste 100%.
"Here, the note was on the bottom of the box.", Rachel hands me a note that I read straight through.
I saw it and immediately thought of you. I hope you like it. 3
"Remember, when she had to be drunk to say something like that?"
"Yes, even when we were alone, she always struggled with that."
Brit has always struggled when it comes to expressing her feelings, but even that is getting better and better.
"Now she's the cheesiest person I know. If I didn't love you so much, I would find you disgusting."
"You and Finn are pretty much one person, so if anyone's gross, it's you."
"It's winter and cozy weather.", Rachel justifies herself and at the same time we both start laughing. We're both equally terrible at that.
"The dress looks damn expensive."
"How much do you think it was? I don't want her to spend that much money on me."
"Don't worry about it. Britt would never tell you the price and she wouldn't take the money either. So I would suggest you eat up and then we'll do your hair and make-up."
"Don't you have a date with Finn tonight?"
"Yeah, but we're staying here, so I can relax. Come on, eat up so we can get started."
/
"It feels like seeing my daughter off to her prom.", Rachel jokes as we wait for Brittany in the living room. Rach still has some time because Finn will be here a little later.
"Yeah, let's see if I come back tonight."
"I don't think so, Britt must have bought you that dress so she could take it off of you too, preferably at her house so I can't barge in again or make fun of your loudness."
"Stupid bitch.". I wheeze in mock insult.
"Yeah, I love you too. And now let's see where your beloved is.", R goes to the window, from where you can see the parking lot.
"So her car is standing-", her sentence is interrupted by a knock on the door.
"-outside, so that should be her.", Rachel finishes as I head for the door.
"Hey, I didn't give you the key for decoration.", I greet her rather absently while checking out her outfit. This woman is a feast for the eyes, from head to toe. With her gray winter coat and black jeans, matching boots, and that gorgeous face. Her cheeks are a little red from the cold outside, combined with her blue eyes and that toothpaste smile, I could kiss her right away.
"San, are you even listening to me?", her hand waving in front of my face brings me back to reality.
"No, sorry, again?"
"I said it would have been weird walking in the door to pick you up for our date, traditionally they pick you up outside the door."
"What if we live together? Will we just stop having dates or will someone get ready at the hotel?", I joke.
"No, you can get ready together, but somehow it's part of the charm, don't you think? So I was really looking forward to seeing you in this dress."
"So? Do I live up to your expectations?" I turn so she can see the dress from every angle.
"You surpass them, but you do that every day."
Behind us, Rachel makes gagging noises, so I just give her the middle finger and finally kiss my blonde.
"You've got everything you need?"
"Yes, just my jacket.", I reach to the wardrobe on the left and take the jacket off the hook. As soon as I take it off, Britt takes it from me and gestures with her hand for me to turn around. So while I exchange a grin with Rachel, Britt helps me into my jacket.
"Mom, we're going now.", I pick up the mother joke about Rachel again.
"Take care of her, she's my everything.", Rachel threatens Britt.
"Miss Berry, I won't bring Santana home tonight, I hope that's okay?", Britt immediately joins in.
"Yes, please keep her forever, I can't get rid of her, she's a tough case.", she completely changes her 'opinion' about me.
"Fuck you.", I snort contemptuously and then take my girlfriend's hand and pull her out of the apartment.
"What are we actually doing and the most important question: is there food? My stomach is longing for it."
"Of course there is food, I know you."
"Right now I love you a little more than I already have."
"That's nice to hear. How was your day so far?"
We start small talk about her workday and mine as we get in the car downstairs and drive off. I have no idea where to go. Since it's darker, I quickly lose my bearings anyway and Britt doesn't want to tell me where I'm going. We must have been on the road for 40 minutes and again I confirm that I have no idea where we are. We then stop in an empty parking lot because we have reached our destination. We get out and the cold February air immediately surrounds us.
"Please tell me we're going into a warmer place, or you should have gotten me a snowsuit.", I shiver as Britt walks around the car, coming to my side and hugging me.
"Don't worry, we'll go inside to be warm, we just have to cross the street behind me."
I look past her arm to the right and now I recognize the sign. The corners of my mouth turn up and because of my high heels I don't have that much trouble pulling her down for a kiss. Britt kisses me back for a few seconds before pressing another on my forehead and then grinning at me.
"May I ask?", she holds out her arm and I link my arm before we walk across the street to the entrance of the observatory. She unlocks it and closes it behind us again after turning on the light.
"How did you do that? It's legal, isn't it?", I frown and she smiles.
"If you have a key, it's not burglary, babe, but thanks for always thinking I'm a criminal.", she unzips her coat and I finally see what she's wearing underneath. A dark blue blouse with a neckline that seems to reach the navel, but if anyone can wear it, it's her.
"By the way, here are your first cards.", she hands me three small pieces of paper from her jacket pocket.
"So you meant it seriously."
"Yes, of course, as if I were joking.", she is almost indignant when I read a word on each of the small white sheets.
I love you.
"I love you and your crazy ideas too.", I reply to the little message and hand in hand we start a little tour of the premises. Brittany can explain so much about everything here, which is why I can only look at her proudly. Beautiful and smart...she has perfected these qualities.
I'm hanging on her every word like she's telling me about the most interesting thing in the world. Well, she could just read me her shopping list and I would react the same way as now.
As we walk through this huge building, Britt keeps slipping me little notes and I'm happy about each one like a little child. At the end of our tour, she unlocks a large metal door and after getting used to the flickering light, I see the large blanket with the picnic basket on it, just below the glass dome. The LED candles light our way from the door to the blanket in the middle of the room. There are roses scattered everywhere.
"May I ask what I did to deserve this?"
"Hmm, I could only project a fake starry sky into your room back then, so I owed you the real ones here in New York."
"You'll never owe me anything, but I still appreciate it so thank you."
"For you, always.", she takes my hand again and leads me up to the blanket.
"Who actually helped you here?", I'm curious, since I'm sure that she couldn't do it alone, considering the time, unless she's away from work much earlier.
"Well, that will be my secret.", she shrugs with a grin and we sit down on the floor together.
My first look is upwards, where stars are actually already visible in the sky. We got the perfect weather. The blonde next to me unpacks the basket and I think more and more about our first date.
"Did you think we'd do something like this, years after our first date?"
"I didn't even think you'd let me back into your life until a few months ago."
"I mean back then, say after the first date."
"No, never. I died a thousand deaths before the date, and I still had these doubts afterwards. To be honest, I'll probably have these doubts forever, I can't get out of my skin."
"I know but thank you for your honesty and I try my best to clear your doubts every day."
"That's why I love you so much.", she pours the champagne into the two glasses, then puts it aside and gives me a glass.
"To us.", she lifts her glass and hands me another note with her free hand.
"My Valentine's Day sweetheart.", I read out loud and we toast with a grin.
"I love this romantic streak you've discovered."
Back then I was more romantic than her, but now the blonde beats me by far.
"I discovered this because of you, you're a big part of it, so thank you.", she takes a long sip from her glass and then kisses me.
/
Lying on our backs, we both watch the stars. We have eaten most of the food and now we look at the starry sky. I love talking to Britt, but even being silent with her is so comfortable.
"I still have the last cards for you, you've earned them.", she puts a stack of the small Post-It notes on my stomach and I raise my eyebrow while looking at her.
"They're the last ones, I promise.", she puts up her hands defensively. I got so many from her throughout the evening, I wonder how much time she put into it. I pick up the notes and start reading. Like the others, I read this one out loud.
"My dream. That's my first thought when I hear your name or see you. Perfect. That's how I would describe you in one word. Everything bad in the world is only half as bad if I can share it with you. And everything beautiful in the world is twice as beautiful when I can share it with you. If I could plan my future, sooner or later you would be my wife. For starters, I'd be honored if you said 'yes'."
Frowning, my gaze goes to Britt, who is holding out a ring with shining eyes. A ring I know very well.
/
5th February 2017 - Brittany
After the service and chatting with Holly again, Finn and I are now sitting in a coffee shop. I like Finn and I like hanging out with him, he's the complete opposite of Rachel so very much like me. His opinion is important to me as well and somehow it just so happened that he's the first person to see the ring.
"Do you think I should do it?", I slide the box across the table to Finn, who opens it and looks at the ring.
"Wow, the ring is fierce."
"Her mum's engagement ring, she sent it to me for my birthday along with a letter saying I got her parents' blessing."
"Do you need more, Britt? You just have to dare."
We've been talking about my thoughts on proposing to Santana for days. These came to me absolutely spontaneously when I got home from work and the Latina cooked for me in my kitchen. The feeling of home was overwhelming and since then it hasn't let go of me.
"Yes, that's the problem, I just don't trust myself."
I was on the verge of proposing to her yesterday when we were just watching a movie, but I'm always backing out.
"But why not? You've loved each other for ages, and you want a future together, or rather a life together. Nobody says you have to get married right away, I mean you can be engaged for years, but this ring has a much deeper meaning for you both then."
"You're right.", I murmur, taking the closed box back.
"But?"
"There are no buts, except that it has to be perfect."
"Then we have a goal for the near future, Pierce."
"Nice to welcome you on board, Hudson.", I clasp his hand, starting to think about some ways to propose.
February 8, 2017
"Of course I'll go shopping with you, what a question is that?!"
Yes, what a stupid question. Rachel is the first to jump up and cheer when it comes to shopping.
"What do you need? For what occasion? Or just because?"
"I'll tell you when we get to the mall. When does your improv class end?"
"In half an hour, just be there at 5 p.m., that's enough."
"All right, see you later.", I hang up, then try to reach someone in the observatory again. I've tried several, but my request was immediately denied. So now I'm grasping at the last straw, otherwise we'll have to go to another city. It could have been anywhere, of course, but I want this evening to be memorable for Santana, and for that it needs a memorable location. I keep trying until I have to go so I don't get to the campus too late to pick up Rach. The observatory is my lynchpin. If that doesn't work, then I'll have to completely rethink.
But I'd rather deal with that later, first I'll pick Rachel up and we'll go to the mall together. Of course, I could have gone alone, but R has great fashion sense and with so many people around I feel more comfortable around someone I trust.
"So, for what occasion do you need an outfit? Like for Valentine's Day, you old romantic?", Rachel begins to ask immediately when we have parked and standing in front of my car. This is the perfect day! Actually, I was going to do it the following weekend, but if there's one day that's perfect, it's Valentine's Day.
"Oh my god, Rachel, you're a genius!", I pick her up, spinning her in a circle.
"Thanks, I know, but I still need some info because I'm pretty confused right now."
I put Rachel down and take the box with the ring out of my coat.
"No, really?", she shakes her head in disbelief, then opens the box so the ring beams at her.
"Okay, you're very serious. Oh my god, how much did that cost? It's beautiful. Wouldn't you rather marry me? Okay, no, just kidding, but honestly, how much?"
"It's her mum's engagement ring, she sent it to me for my birthday, with their blessings."
"That's super cute, but didn't you freak out because you were afraid Santana would propose to you?"
"Yes, but I've thought it through again. Even 4 years without contact I couldn't break away from her, my family couldn't and therefore there will never be anything that separates us. It took me so long not to resist any more and so she should know that I belong to her and she to me."
"God you've gotten cheesy if only your younger self could hear you."
"Yeah, enough with the sentimentality, shall we go shopping now?"
"And now that we're going shopping, I hope you don't have anything else to do today.", Rachel links my arm and together we go to the mall, roam through all the clothing stores. A red dress catches my eye at some point, and I immediately see Santana in it. It would suit her perfectly.
"I'd rather see you as black or dark blue, but fine if you like red that much."
"It wouldn't be for me either, it would be for San. Do you think she would wear it?"
"Definitely, she would love it."
"Okay, I'll buy that then. I know how stressed she is most of the time trying to find the right outfit."
"You plan it all out perfectly, don't you?"
"It has to be more than perfect."
"Let's be honest, S would say yes if you just gave her the ring before bed."
"But I want to offer her more."
She deserves so much more than a simple proposal.
"Come on then, buy the dress and then we'll find something for you."
Two hours later, tired and annoyed, I go to the changing room again, this time in black jeans and a dark blue blouse. First, I look at myself in the mirror. Yes, that actually looks pretty good.
"Rachel, that's the last outfit, I'm hot and I'm tired.", I step out of the dressing room, turning around to show the clothes.
"If I wasn't straight and taken, I would pull you into the dressing room.", she comments on the clothes while I laugh and take another look in the mirror.
"I couldn't blame you, but you would have to clarify that with my girlfriend first, I think she would like to have a say."
"I think she'll like the outfit too."
"I was talking more about you wanting to pull me into the dressing room, but thanks."
"For you and Santana, I'm happy to be a bit bi, but don't worry, I'm not intruding, I'm kind of your kid."
"R, the conversation is taking a weird turn, but thanks again for the compliment?"
"No problem and now go change your clothes, your beloved is already waiting for me with food."
"Of course, boss, so I'll take the clothes?", I ask to be on the safe side and Rachel gives me a thumbs up. I change back into my clothes and take the final selection to the checkout to pay. The right outfit has thus also been found.
February 11, 2017
"Good morning.", I am greeted effusively by Quinn at work. At a Saturday. 8 o'clock. I'm also a morning person, but on a Saturday it's different. Also, I'm super stressed because those stupid guys from the observatory still haven't called. Is it that hard to call back or reply to an email? New Yorkers are so rude!
"Hey, what can I do for you?"
"You can sign this.", she puts her bag on the counter and then pulls out a few sheets of paper.
"What's that?", I mumble before I can read what it says.
"The people from the observatory need this, so you can have the keys on Tuesday."
"What?"
"I told you I'm pretty persuasive.", she shrugs, grinning.
I complained to her yesterday when she spontaneously came into the store, and she was immediately hooked on my idea and promised me any support. And now she has done what I have been trying unsuccessfully for days.
"Oh my god, thank you, thank you, thank you!", I practically leap for joy behind the counter before rushing forward and pulling Quinn into a hug.
"I owe you one, no matter what."
"I've known Santana since my first month in New York and we've been through quite a bit, so it's an honor to be able to contribute."
"Thank you, can I at least get you something to eat? So I don't feel so stupid?"
"Mhhh, I'll take a cupcake from here, what's in there?"
"It's a strawberry mascarpone cupcake."
"That sounds great, these look great, I'll have one.", she rubs her hands as I go back behind the counter and get a plate before pulling the cupcake out of the fridge and setting it on top to hand it to Quinn. As soon as the blonde has the plate, it starts to vibrate in my pocket. A number that I haven't saved calls me.
"I'll be right back.", I apologize to Quinn and then go back to the bakery where I take the call.
"Hello?"
"Good morning love, this is Dana. I just read your message and I wanted to get in touch right away. Are you alright?"
I texted Dana on Facebook this morning that I would like to talk to her and left her my number. Yes, I'm the kind of friend who is friends with her friend's mom on Facebook.
"Yes, everything is fine, I hope you aren't worried now."
"No, I'm just curious. Can you talk right now or is Santana around?"
"I'm at work but there's nothing going on right now, so I've got a few minutes."
"Well then, I'm all ears."
"First of all I wanted to say thank you for the presents on my birthday and I apologize for not getting in touch sooner."
"You don't need to say thank you or apologize for that."
"Dana.", I murmur sheepishly.
"Come on dear, that's certainly not the thing you wanted to discuss with me, is it? Well, I'm happy about any contact, but you get in touch so early in the morning on a Saturday, there's definitely more to it than that."
Even Dana knows me inside and out.
"I want to propose to Santana on Tuesday, and I know you sent me the ring and the letter that went with it, but I wanted to double-check that it's okay with you and Felipe."
"Of course, Brittany. We can't think of anyone better for Santana. And you asking again shows how right we were to give you this ring."
"Thank you very much."
"Not for that. So we can expect a call or text from Santana on Wednesday then, yes?"
"I hope so."
"Don't freak out, we all know she's going to say yes.", Dana encourages me as I hear the doorbell ringing, the sign that someone has entered or exited the store.
"It's so easy to say.", I reply, walking forward to the sales area.
"It's so easy, believe me.", I hear Dana smile at the end of the line.
"I have to hang up, I have customers. But thanks for the kind words, Dana."
"You can call me anytime, dear, and don't put yourself under so much pressure."
We say goodbye and then I serve the customer. Talking to Dana really helped, I'm much more relaxed now. Dana knows her daughter and if she says Santana says yes, then it must be true.
February 14, 2017
Luckily today is my day off. I don't think I would have gotten everything organized otherwise. I've been working all night on the little cards for Santana to read tonight. Accordingly, I still haven't been to bed. On the contrary, I'm picking up the flowers that I ordered. Thank goodness we live in New York, so it seems normal to want to buy flowers at 4am.
With the bouquet of roses, I head into town for dinner. It's totally cliche to walk around with roses on Valentine's Day, but today I'm pulling out all the stops to make sure San never forgets the day. I park the car around the corner and then enter the diner, which looks pretty empty. The bell above me rings and grinning, I make my way to the counter where my girlfriend is standing.
I wish her a "good morning" while she looks at me rather confused.
"It's way too early to say good morning to anyone, isn't it?", she mutters, which makes me laugh.
"I love how you're a morning grouch and work at a diner with the most flexible hours in the world."
It's definitely not her time.
"Who are the flowers for?", she nods to the roses in my hand.
"Hm, who are the flowers for?", I tap my nose with my free hand and turn around once before I look at her again.
"Of course they are for you.", I hand her the flowers over the counter, "and yes, they're roses. Billions of people get them today and I would normally give you others, but I think they're suitable for Valentine's Day."
"Even if you don't want to hear that, you're sweet as candy.", she smells the roses, discovering the card hidden at the top of the bouquet.
"What's the progression of saccharine? I'm pretty sure you'll need it."
"Someone is very self-confident there," she raises an eyebrow, picking up the card.
"Rightly so, of course, what do you think of me?"
"All the best, don't worry.", she assures me, turning the card over, trying to read the message, although I didn't write anything down.
"There is nothing written down?", she shows me the blank card and I nod, grinning broadly, reaching into the inside pocket of my coat.
"You've got to earn the label.", I wave a stack of white cards in front of her.
"And how?"
"Wait in the loft at 8 p.m. fully dressed, ready for a date with me."
"What are we doing?"
"It's a surprise. But I have to go now, so see you tonight.", I kiss her on the lips, before leaving. In the car do I realize that I just kissed her like that. Without looking around and thinking about the consequences... yes, today is a good day.
/
"Brittany, right? Come on, sit down," I'm offered a seat, across from Dr. Sylvester.
"So Brittany, how can I help you?"
"I'm uncomfortable in big, noisy groups or crowds. I know it's related to my time in the army, I still dream about it sometimes and I don't know how to cope, it drives me crazy, I get real panic attacks."
"Oh okay, PTSD I suppose, yes? What exactly happened, what are you dreaming about?"
I tell her about my last mission, which has haunted me ever since. It's still hard for me to talk about, but I have to get through this now...for me and for Santana My first session lasts 90 minutes, in which I mainly talked about what was happening and Dr. Sylvester took notes. We also talked about the form of therapy that she would like to use on me, the so-called prolonged exposure therapy. I am supposed to put myself back into the situation during the session and experience everything over and over again. Everything is being recorded and then I'm supposed to listen to it every day and so the PTSD is supposed to subside and no longer control me as it is now. Every Tuesday and Friday I will now go to therapy and hope that it will help me in some way.
Relief spreads through me when I leave the practice later. I need help and I'm glad I accept that now. On the way back I'll drop the box with the dress off at the Loft so Rach can give it to Santana this afternoon. I'm also on the phone with Finn, who's taking care of things in the observatory today. I can catch up on a few more hours of sleep and prepare myself mentally for tonight.
I'm super nervous, even though it'll be hours before we even see each other.
/
Outfit? Check.
Make up? Check.
Cards? Check.
Engagement ring? Check.
Keys? Check.
OK, I have everything. Take a deep breath, everything will be fine.
I turn off the light behind me and lock the door before heading downstairs to my car. During the drive, I check with Finn again to make sure everything is ready. He assures me that everything is perfect and only the two of us are missing. He also wishes me luck and tells me to relax.
Yes, that's easy to say if you don't have a proposal in front of you. After we have settled everything, I park and unlock the door downstairs, go up the stairwell and after two deep breaths knock on the door. Shortly thereafter, Santana opens the door for me.
"Hey, I didn't give you the key for decoration.", she greets me, her eyes wandering over my body.
"I know, but I wanted to be traditional and otherwise it would have been really weird, don't you think?", I ask, but Santana doesn't seem to listen.
"San, are you even listening to me?", I wave my hand in front of her face.
"No, sorry, again?"
"I said it would have been weird walking in the door to pick you up for our date, traditionally they pick you up outside the door."
"What if we live together? Will we just stop having dates or will someone get ready at the hotel?", she asks with a smile while my eyes slip to the dress.
"No, you can get ready together, but somehow it's part of the charm, don't you think? So I was really looking forward to seeing you in this dress."
"So? Do I live up to your expectations?", she turns around, so I can examine the dress closely. She can wear anything, but this dress is already making me weak.
"You surpass them, but you do that every day."
Behind us, Rachel makes gagging noises, but we don't care. Instead, Santana kisses me on the lips.
"You've got everything you need?"
"Yes, just my jacket.", she reaches for the wardrobe and takes her jacket, which I grab shortly afterwards. She turns around and then I help her into her jacket.
"Mom, we're going now."
"Take care of her, she's my everything.", Rachel threatens me and immediately my mind goes back to the conversation we had, when we went shopping.
"Miss Berry, I won't bring Santana home tonight, I hope that's okay?", I play along.
"Yes, please keep her forever, I can't get rid of her, she's a tough case."
"Fuck you.", Santana snorts contemptuously and then take my hand to leave the loft.
"What are we actually doing and the most important question: is there food? My stomach is longing for it."
"Of course there is food, I know you."
"Right now I love you a little more than I already have."
"That's nice to hear. How was your day so far?"
We start small talk about her workday and mine as we get in the car downstairs and drive off. I don't like lying to her, but it's just a white lie for a very, very good cause. We must have been on the road for 40 minutes and San has accepted that I won't tell her where we go.
I then stop in the parking lot of the observatory. I was here with Finn yesterday. We saw everything and I learned a lot about the stuff inside, so I can show off my knowledge. I also gave Finn instructions on how to decorate the room.
"Please tell me we're going into a warmer place, or you should have gotten me a snowsuit.", she says, as soon as she opens her car door. I get out, walk around the car and pull Santana into my arms.
"Don't worry, we'll go inside to be warm, we just have to cross the street behind me."
Her gaze briefly misses me and then I see the big grin on her face. So she seems to have read where we're going because she stretches a little for a kiss. Because of my flat boots and her high heels, we don't have that much trouble reaching each other in terms of size. I return the kiss briefly, then press one on her forehead before I grin at her.
"May I ask?", I offer her my arm before we walk across the street to the entrance of the observatory. I unlock it and as soon as we're inside and I've turned on the light, I lock it.
"How did you do that? It's legal, isn't it?"
"If you have a key, it's not burglary, babe, but thanks for always thinking I'm a criminal.", I open my coat with a smile, put the key in my pocket and take the first few cards out of it.
"By the way, here are your first cards."
"So you meant it seriously."
"Yes, of course, as if I were joking.", I reply, and she starts reading the three small pieces of paper.
"I love you and your crazy ideas too.", she replies to the little message and hand in hand we start a little tour of the premises. I shine with the knowledge I acquired yesterday. I don't know if Santana is really listening, but her grin is enough for me. This is getting bigger and bigger; the more cards I slip her.
At the end of our tour, I unlock a large metal door and after getting used to the flickering light, I see the large blanket with the picnic basket on it. The LED candles light our way from the door to the blanket in the middle of the room. There are roses scattered everywhere.
Finn followed my instructions exactly, for which he deserves a huge thank you!
"May I ask what I did to deserve this?"
"Hmm, I could only project a fake starry sky into your room back then, so I owed you the real ones here in New York."
"You'll never owe me anything, but I still appreciate it so thank you."
"For you, always.", I take her hand and lead her to the blanket.
"Who actually helped you here?"
"Well, that will be my secret.", we sit down on the blanket and while Santana takes a look around, I unpack the full basket.
"Did you think we'd do something like this, years after our first date?", she makes eye contact with me and I shake my head.
"I didn't even think you'd let me back into your life until a few months ago."
"I mean back then, say after the first date."
"No, never. I died a thousand deaths before the date, and I still had these doubts afterwards. To be honest, I'll probably have these doubts forever, I can't get out of my skin."
But I do everything I can to ensure that these doubts no longer rule my life.
"I know but thank you for your honesty and I try my best to clear your doubts every day."
"That's why I love you so much.", I pour the champagne into the two glasses, then put the bottle aside and give her a glass.
"To us.", I lift my glass and hand her another note with my free hand.
"My Valentine's Day sweetheart.", she reads out loud and we clink glasses with a grin.
"I love this romantic streak you've discovered."
That used to be a big problem for me, I was never good at putting my feelings into words. Christ, it took me far too long to realize that San is more than my best friend.
"I discovered this because of you, you're a big part of it, so thank you.", I take a big sip of champagne and then I kiss her. I have to drink a little bit more or my nervousness will get the best of me.
/
Lying on our backs, we both watch the stars. We have eaten most of the food and now we look at the starry sky. The alcohol took away my nervousness...most of it. I know so many things can go wrong, she could just run away and leave me here, but I'm thinking positively. She loves Me. Despite the circumstances, we found each other again. Why would she say no?
"I still have the last cards for you, you've earned them," I summon up all my courage and put the last stack of notes on her stomach. For that I get her typical 'Are you serious - look'.
"They're the last ones, I promise.", I hold up my hands defensively and watch her pick up the notes and read them out loud.
Meanwhile, I take the ring out of my pocket and hold it out to her.
"My dream. That's my first thought when I hear your name or see you. Perfect. That's how I would describe you in one word. Everything bad in the world is only half as bad if I can share it with you. And everything beautiful in the world is twice as beautiful when I can share it with you. If I could plan my future, sooner or later you would be my wife. For starters, I'd be honored if you said 'yes'."
Her eyes slide to me, then to the ring, and then back to me again.
My heart is beating in my throat, it seems like forever.
It was too much. I caught her off guard.
"I fucked up, right?", I ask in a whisper when she still hasn't made a sound after what must have been a minute. Everyone was wrong. Of course she doesn't want to marry me. We've been together for a few months and then I came up with this crazy idea.
"We can just forget about it, I'll put the ring away and we'll never talk about it again," I suggest, closing the box with the ring and putting it back in my pocket, when Santana finally speaks up.
Longer chapter than usual, what do you think? Will Santana say yes? Will she run away? :D