AN: Heyo! A little chat before we get down to business. This fanfic was inspired by two things. The first being a chapter from Motto Love Love Sakusen Desu, specifically Chapter 38: It's tracking Darjeeling-sama to be exact. I know the canonicity of the manga as a whole is hotly debated but I find it funny nonetheless. The next one is a short Girls und Panzer fanbook from Danbooru, Greener Grasses, which features an AssHip love story too. This story isn't necessarily a recreation of any of the two but uses them as a benchmark to sail the AssHip ship into the sunset. Well, that's enough rambling from me and see ya again at the end of this chapter.
AN 2.0: Rewrote the first part of the story, since I always felt it was lacking and there was that particularly embarrassing mistake that had sat there unnoticed for a long time! This would have been published earlier had I not been down with sickness for a few days, but that's beside the point! Be sure to enjoy!
Prologue
Alumni Homecoming
Tokyo, Japan
"Good morning, this is your captain speaking. We have just landed at Haneda Airport in the city of Tokyo. Today is the 20th of April and the local time is 9:30 in the morning, Japanese Standard Time. The temperature outside is a mild 16 degrees Celsius with clear skies and a low chance of rain in the evening. You may begin to leave the plane once the flight crew says so and again, thank you for flying British Airways and we hope you enjoyed your trip," the aeroplane's intercom system announced.
A young blonde lady in an aisle seat stood up once the announcement finished and took her hand luggage and umbrella from the overhead compartment. It had been a boring 13-hour non-stop flight from London, with no one to accompany her except old Chaucer and his masterpiece. Except for small talk with the little girl, who sat next to her, and the flight attendants, she had little to no human interaction onboard the flight, which gave her more than ample amount of time to wrap her head around the prose and poetry of the stories.
Walking down the exit stairs, she was delighted to finally set foot on land again and decided to stop for a bit alongside the 'plane. With a long journey still ahead of her, she stretched her limbs and took note of her surroundings. The wind howled all around her, and the noise the aeroplane's idling engines were making, created an immense orchestra for her just recently-popped ears; a result of the rapid change in pressure. Joining these were the background noises of other 'planes taking off and landing in the distance, reminding her of the last time she was there.
It was morning back then as well, and she recalled the tall control tower that loomed over the grounds as she clambered onboard a large aeroplane. It was her first time flying and it happened to be her first overseas trip as well.
She remembered the struggle she had pulling her luggage due to packing it to the brim beforehand in anticipation of her journey. Back in the main terminal, a small knot of people had gathered behind a wall of glass. All of them were dressed in the uniform of their school, holding up banners that bade her farewell.
It was a memory that she treasured all the way to her destination; England.
Although the England she had expected had long been gone, what stood in its place was something even better. The tea flowed as she had envisioned but it ran alongside streams of beer and ale, both of which were plentiful. The curries served in the dining halls and pubs were spicier than they were back home, but it suited her palette quite well. The language barrier was nonexistent since she spoke English like a native, but she did have trouble understanding accents at times.
The last of the passengers went down the stairs and she brought herself out of memory lane to join the tail end of the crowd. It was going to be a long commute to her port city, unless they sent someone over to pick her up. But first, she needed to get her main luggage, which she estimated was now going on a spin around the carousel.
She was about to enter the main terminal when she caught sight of a girl dressed in the familiar uniform of her youth. The two of them locked eyes with one another, with her staring into the girl's bright green eyes. It was enough of a signal and the green-eyed girl made a tangent towards her, while she, herself, hastened her step to meet her.
With the newcomer fast approaching, she was able to see her brown ponytail bouncing behind her with every step and soon enough, the look of mousy anxiety was revealed as the two of them halted in front of each other.
"Su...su...success is not final, failure is not fatal-" the brunette timidly said, uttered with a wild mix of panic and anxiety.
Those green eyes stared at her intently, anxiously waiting for a response, which she swiftly gave, "-it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill, right?"
The new arrival bowed before her and said, "Ma'am, welcome back to Japan, I hope you had a pleasant trip. May I request that you please follow me?"
"What about my other luggage?" she asked, worried that the bag was now having too much fun on the carousel.
"Don't worry, Ma'am, that's already taken care of. Can I help you with that one?" the girl asked, pointing at her carry-on.
"Yes, you may, thank you very much," she replied and the girl, with her luggage, turned around and started off, with her gingerly following closely behind.
The jet lag she had sustained from the non-stop flight made her head spin like a top, causing her to have trouble keeping track of her guide and it was only the girl's bobbing ponytail that enabled her to keep pace. In front of her, her chaperone briskly turned a corner, and she followed suit, pleasantly surprised at what she saw parked in all its glory.
She was expecting one of the school cars to fetch her, at the very least, or one of the Westland Lysander liaison aircraft, if they still had those. But there was no way she'd have thought that they would send a full-fledged tank.
And not just any tank, it was her tank. Her steed, her mount, her Black Beauty. Its olive green paint job gleamed in the morning sun and its 75mm gun looked as deadly as ever, protruding from the flat riveted mantlet of the turret
"What-who-how is this possible?!" she exclaimed. "I thought the Alumni association sold it off after I left!" She scrutinised the entire length of the tank, taking it all in, lest it was just a dream and she would wake up rudely back in the 'plane.
"They did, except we bought it back, Ma'am," her guide replied, a smile on her lips, probably surprised at the sudden change in the demeanour of the personality of the girl she was chauffeuring.
The blonde quickly climbed the tank, with the efficiency only a veteran could possess. "I assume you're my driver for today?" she asked, opening the commander's hatch and hopping down inside. "Sorry, I didn't happen to catch your name?"
"That's because I didn't throw it," the brunette said with a sly smile. "Ruhuna, ma'am... My name is Ruhuna," she finished as she climbed and entered her own hatch.
The blonde raised her eyebrows. Darjeeling's personal driver eh? The Rolls-Royce Meteor purred to life and she inhaled the smell of the motor oil and grease, two scents that would forever put her at ease.
The tank slowly inched forward, unable to fully spread its wings, for fear of cracking the sensitive airport asphalt it drove on. However, once they had left the premises behind, Ruhuna sped up a bit and entered the city proper.
From her elevated position, the blonde was able to watch the street scene as they passed it. People going about their daily lives couldn't help but look at the rare sight of a tank driving on the streets. Even motorists had to do double-takes in their rearview mirrors just to make sure that there was indeed an armoured fighting vehicle barreling down behind them.
They went by Shinto shrines, convenience stores that she had long since forgotten, across bridges and pass toll gates, where perplexed toll booth attendants handled their transaction for their overweight and oversized "car", something that certainly made cyclists hesitant to ride alongside them.
They even passed a nursery, stopping in front of a school crossing, giving way to school children with their yellow hats and randoserus as they waddled across, gawking at the metal beast in front of them. She waved at a bunch of them and the kids happily waved back as they finished crossing and the tank was allowed to continue went on its way.
The Japanese spring wind blew at her face, driving off the last verges of the exhaustion still inside her. Her long blonde hair flew elegantly behind her as traffic cleared up in front of them and the tank began to pick up speed. She momentarily closed her eyes, fully immersing herself in the hustle and bustle of the metropolis, and only opened them after hearing some familiar additions to the symphony of engines around her.
Trailing them were four BSA M20 motorcycles which sped up to take positions on each side of the tank, serving as convoy escorts. The BSA M20, she remembered, was one of the longest-serving models of motorcycles in the British Army, being used for anything from liaison duties to courier work, becoming a staple for Gloriana despatch riders, whose vivid pink helmets were as eye-catching as the bikes they were on.
At this, she raised her eyebrows again. Darjeeling, being her flamboyant self, spared no expense on her homecoming.
Soon, the motorcycles proved themselves useful when passing through intersections, where they took up positions in other lanes, blocking incoming traffic. This allowed the convoy to make its way across the city in record time.
After a bit, the sight of skyscrapers and apartment blocks bored her to death, so she closed the hatch and went about re-examining the inner workings of the vehicle, from its ever-so-useful periscopes to the exhaust vent, which helped keep its crew members safe from the toxic fumes made by firing the gun.
She was surprised to find that the ammo stowage she was sitting on was filled to the brim with a mix of AP and HE-shells, although the latter wasn't used much in tank combat, at least during her command. She was pretty sure those who worked hard to include the HE capability in this tank's gun would be disappointed by her.
Moving herself to the gunner's seat, she spent a good while practising mock drills with the cannon, re-familiarizing herself with the ballistics and sightings of the particular weapon once again. She placed various automobiles on her sights, making sure not to depress the trigger as she moved on to the next one, pretending to blow them out of the street.
The wireless behind her crackled and she turned her attention towards addressing it, grabbing a hold of the radio receiver and holding down the transmit button. "Ruhuna-chan, do you need to tell me something?"
"Hai, Ma'am, we just reached the outskirts of Yokohama. We need to refuel at the Red Brick Warehouse first before the final leg to the carrier, would that be fine with you?"
Once used as customs buildings for the port city, the Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse was now a cultural centre complete with shops, cafes and a banquet hall. With their power and influence, Saint Gloriana was able to permanently lease some space at one of the buildings, turning it into a logistics hub back on the mainland.
"That would be splendid, perhaps I could pass the time at the gift shop?" she replied. To generate some additional revenue, a gift shop was set up alongside the garage, selling merchandise for fans to spend their money on.
"Roger that, I'll just fetch you once when the process is finished."
Wanting to see everything herself, the blonde once again emerged from inside just as their tank made its way across a bridge and the cityscape of Yokohama appeared, arrogantly reaching up to the sky in their vain attempts to touch the clouds. One tower loomed over the bunch, however; the Yokohama Landmark Tower. Standing at around a thousand feet tall, it was the second-tallest building in all of Japan.
Soon though, something greater caught her attention as the armoured vehicle navigated the urban jungle, bringing them closer to their destination. She could feel it and minutes later, the sight and smell of it invigorated her, bringing back heady days of living as a carefree high schooler and it was none other than the ocean itself.
Called the peaceful sea by the great explorer Magellan, the Pacific Ocean was once anything but. It served as a playground for warships, where decades prior her ancestors battled across its great expanse onboard magnificent hulls of metal. Now, students from all over the country travel on ships many times larger, not under the banner of war, but of education.
Two long red structures emerged against the backdrop of the sea, each one constructed with bright red bricks that gave the buildings their unique facade, looking timeless next to the steel and glass towers further inland. Even in the early hours of the day, a number of people were already strolling in and around the warehouses, enjoying the sea breeze or eating out in one of the many outdoor booths the buildings had in place.
Ruhuna eased the tank across the parking lot and into the waterfront side of Warehouse No. 1, which gave her sight of the Port of Yokohama, where small fishing trawlers mingled with cargo ships and even the occasional American warship flying the American Stars and Stripes. All of it was nothing, however, compared to the enormous floating structure way beyond the harbour; its length immeasurable and its hull standing taller than even the Landmark Tower. It was none other than the HMS Ark Royal.
Even from so far away, the blonde could recognize its large size and remembered with a smile her great effort to explore every inch of it; every shop and restaurant, every compartment below deck. It took her most of her three-year tenure as a student to be able to accomplish that gargantuan effort.
On their drive, they came across an open garage and a young man in overalls beckoned to them and Ruhuna, a clear testament to her skill, flawlessly piloted Black Beauty inside, with little to no guidance from the mechanic, who stood at the ready with the fuel hose.
Inside the garage were plenty of tools and equipment needed to service tanks, from a lift that made repairs underneath the chassis easier to track tensioning tools, useful for adjusting the tank threads. With nothing else to do, the blonde hopped out of the tank and excused herself from the two, who immediately went to work on the vehicle as she made her way to the shop next door.
Large glass windows gave her a small taste of what Gloriana's very own gift shop had to offer as various trinkets were displayed for all to see. Even from the outside, she could make out the store's elegant teal wallpaper and oak plank floorboards, decorated by red, white and blue flaglets held together by a string.
The unforgettable aroma of tea quickly found its way up her system as a small golden bell sallied her arrival inside. The tune of the British Grenadiers was being played on repeat from loudspeakers, perhaps to drown out the noises of the garage next door. The clerk behind the counter was quick to register her presence and jumped up in surprise, recognizing the girl in front of her.
With a smile, she gestured to the girl to stand down and the employee, despite her giddiness, piped down and left her alone to browse through the store, sharing it with only a handful of people due to the time of the day.
Shelves upon shelves holding a wide variety of products filled up the store, enough to overwhelm any first time visitor. Teapots, teacups, tea cosies, you name it, all of them were present, each one up to Tea Garden standards and thus came with the price tag one should expect of a high-quality product. Alongside these were printed mugs for those with less money in their pockets, still a passable vessel for their steaming hot morning beverage of choice.
An entire aisle was dedicated to tins and boxes of the tea themselves and she humorously noted that her tea name had already run out, not surprising since it was the most popular tea blend, with just a single dingy tin occupying the shelf. She walked past aisles filled with T-shirts printed with the school's emblem and messages expressing support and even replicas of the very Senshadou uniform they wore.
On the back were additional merchandise for the more diehard fans. Miniature models of the tanks used by the team including hers which one could buy and assemble for one's enjoyment. Further on, there was the stuff modelled after the girls themselves, figurines, nesoberies and of course, there were the more suggestive wares; calendars, body pillows, boob mousepads, things that a girl like her wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.
The Gloriana Gift Shop also had a corner dedicated to their highly popular "Tank Muse" series, a slice of life manga that had even made its way as far as England. Beside it was other regular literature, imported copies of books about tanks also sold at Bovington, which she had visited quite often, today's copy of the Gloriana Times, the latest issue of Gekkan Senshadou Magazine and autobiographies of former commanders of the team (she's too busy with college to work on her very own).
Knocking on glass brought her out of her reverie and she saw Ruhuna outside and knew it was time for them to leave. Although she didn't buy anything from the shop, she still threw a smile at the store attendant, who melted away immediately.
The two walked the short distance towards the garage, with the Meteor engine already up and running as they boarded the topped-off tank. The lone mechanic, who was busy wiping his hands on a dirty rag called out to them as they slipped out of the building.
"You were lucky the tracks didn't throw themselves on your drive here. You two best hurry up now as well; Leander leaves in less than ten minutes and the next ferry would certainly take its sweet time."
Heeding his advice, the pair set off again in a hurry, quickly leaving behind the brick warehouses as they zoomed past gardens and bay walks in their bid to catch the ferry to their final destination. The BSA motorcycles, which had disappeared the moment they had entered the establishment, made a comeback as they caught up with them in no time.
They reached the terminal just as the ferry was blowing its fog horns and the last of its mooring ropes were being untied by sailors, who let the tank and their motorcycle escorts onboard with great annoyance just before they raised the ramp.
All of them stepped off of their vehicles as the Leander departed its berthing to go on the relatively short trip towards the gargantuan ship nearby. The six climbed towards the main deck, where other people who had evacuated their cars and lorries for the cool sea breeze were gathered.
Among the crowd were residents who went back to the mainland to buy goods that were short in supply and therefore expensive onboard, as well as friends and family members of those on board on their way to surprise students having their classes at the moment.
As the ship ploughed through the waves, the blonde woman ran up to the railing and took a sniff of the salty air. Ruhuna, on the other hand, excused herself to make a phone call, probably informing Darjeeling of their imminent arrival.
Other than a brief visit to the Cliffs of Dover, she had been deprived of the salt-filled wind that had once filled her lungs on a daily basis and it was something she had long-coveted during her stay abroad.
When she was satisfied with her rail-side ritual, she got acquainted with the motorcyclists alongside her, who held their pink-coloured WW2 pudding bowl-style motorcycle helmets under their arms and introduced themselves as Don Rs; Don Restigouche, Don Royal, Don Redoubt and Don Raider.
The blonde played along and introduced herself using her well-known tea name, not that she needed to, based on the anticipation on their faces. She found out that all four were part of the school's motorcycle club and once the foghorns signalled that their arrival was near, they shook hands, with the four first taking off their leather gauntlets before then.
The entire ferry was plunged into darkness as they entered the ship's shadow, and they saw a large hole on the carrier's side that allowed for a small harbour, capable of serving two ferry boats at once. A third wharf was left unoccupied and was reserved for emergencies or unscheduled dockings.
While theoretically speaking, the Ark Royal could travel across the ocean with this huge space open out to the sea, it was standard procedure to close it up with two enormous steel panels that slowly slid into place.
Ruhuna returned and they all piled back on their vehicles and knowing the claustrophobic nature of the corridors of the carrier, the blonde retreated back inside the tank and settled in. She felt the entire world lower a bit as the dock gate closed and seawater started getting pumped out of the small sheltered berth to level it with the wharf.
Being the last vehicles to enter, they found themselves shadowing a ragtag convoy of motorised vehicles and from the commander's viewports, she watched as the armoured vehicle made its way up the ferry's gangway, where its speed and manoeuvrability made their ascend fast and easy, not needing the carrier's built-in tow hooks usually required by their team's heavier tanks.
While the passengers of the ferry boarded the train that went up to the main deck, the vehicles proceeded to specially designed corridors, where they must have driven around for circles for a few minutes, ever-ascending so slowly before the flooding of light back inside the tank signalled that the worst had gone by.
She knew they had emerged near the front of the ship, where most students onboard lived and they snaked their way through the narrow streets of the so-called East End, named as such for its proximity to the docks; reminiscent of its London counterpart.
These streets, she recalled, were mostly flanked on both sides by rows and rows of cookie-cutter houses, terraced homes with the same low brick-walled front gardens and two-storied design. She, herself, had slept and lived in one and so remembered them fondly, hoping for the far off chance that she could spot the exact one.
Traffic was fairly light and the flashes of red from her cupola along with its unmistakable noise indicated a double-decker driving by, a common sight on board, especially on this side of the carrier. The honking of horns was not as common practice here as back in England, something her ears were quite thankful for.
The sudden surge in auditory input both made by man and machine made her realize that they were now traversing Broadway Market, not to be confused with its theatre-toting brethren over in New York. This one, like its namesake in London, was a bustling street market most famous for its fresh fruits and vegetables, all freshly picked belowdecks.
They were joined by busy stalls selling other products like eggs, hats and everything in between. There was even a little family-run bakery she frequented as a student on her way to school that made the best hot cross buns she ever had, which were as fragrant as the flowers they tended to in front of their shop.
These shops and stalls were the lifeblood of the carrier, with the vibrant and colourful environment being a source of respite from the hassles of studying. They reminded her of spending her weekends frolicking around, all worries about homework reserved for Monday itself as she picked apart the market's street food selection.
Soon, all of these noises were all but replaced by the faint but discernible siren of ambulances indicating that they were in the vicinity of Florence Nightingale, the school's onboard hospital. That only meant one thing; they were nearing the campus.
Modelled after one of England's red brick universities, the Saint Gloriana campus was a testament to the architectural prowess of the school's builders. Great glass windows dotted the building, each one contained in its own elegantly carved casing, a hallmark of the Gothic Revival style that was particularly popular during the Victorian era. On the right-wing side of the building was a tall four-faced clock tower, affectionately called Tiny Ben by the students, which chimed every quarter of an hour; an easy way to mark the passage of time during classes.
Flanking the building to the left was Hydette Park, a tad bit smaller than the original back in London. This was a popular breaktime destination and an after-school hang out location, with its plentiful trees and a scenic lake. Flowing from it and onto the campus' right side was the Tiny Thames, a river that cut its way across the Ark Royal, playing host to a wide variety of small crafts and the occasional yacht.
A while went by and the sound of rushing water, along with the gentle creak of metal, determined that they were crossing Tower Bridge, one of the vital links that crossed the divide between East and Center. And if she remembered correctly, this one, just like the one over the real Thames, had a moving span, meaning it splits into two and swings upward to allow the passage of bigger boats.
Ruhuna abruptly slowed the tank to a snail's pace and the blonde was about to inquire about this when a loud bang from outside caught her attention. Without a hitch, she had already stepped up from her seat and opened the hatch.
What greeted her could only be described as a great wave of clapping, cheering and flashes as hundreds of people lined the streets in front of the campus' great red brick facade, celebrating as they saw the great Gale, with some even holding out banners welcoming her. The flash of cameras, both from what she assumed were the school's photojournalism club and those paparazzi that just wanted pics of her, blinked every second, snapping figments of her that would be forever frozen in time.
Another shot rang out and this brought her eyes upon four Crusader Mk III tanks out on the green space in front of the school, all freshly painted in their signature blue-grey paint job, their mighty six-pounders aimed up high just as another one of their numbers let off a round.
With her own tank inching ever so closer to the crowds, she saw some familiar faces; schoolmates, former teammates and even old teachers, all clad in Gloriana colours as they merrily waved Union Jacks at her convoy. While all of this was happening, the Crusader tanks continued firing their main guns, ever so present at the back of her head as she mentally tallied each shot.
After a long lull, their convoy began to pick up speed once again, leaving everyone behind in a trail of dust. In total, she counted 13 shots; the standard gun salute given to generals and admirals and she felt a bit brushed-offed by that. She expected two more, for Gloriana's sake, which was the one given to Commanders-in-Chief, which was what she was, albeit a former one.
Perhaps there was a miscommunication between Darjeeling and whoever was supervising the salute. Whatever the reason, it left a sour taste on her mouth as it had been one of the things she had been looking forward to. She knew better, however, than to make a fuss about the matter, since she didn't really want to make a big deal out of it.
Engine noises from her rear made her pivot on her post and she saw one of the Crusaders break off from its formation. The cruiser tank made a beeline for their convoy and was able to tailgate them in no time.
She watched as the tank expertly manoeuvred to the next lane, avoiding the motorcycle escorts, as it attempted an overtake. For whatever reason, however, it shortly veered off to the right, mounting the pavement and entering the park, disappearing from her sight.
How peculiar...
They continued driving alongside the campus building, where windows opened at random and students gawked and waved as they drove past. Ruhuna continued guiding the tank through the street until they finally reached the tail end of the long campus, where their destination came into full view.
Beyond a small green space sprinkled with cast-iron outdoor table sets and bushes was another brick building, much smaller than the campus and was clearly designed with a different style in mind. It was none other than the Marlborough House, home of the prestigious Tea Garden.
Peculiarly shaped like the letter U, the house's bricked wall surface was highlighted by pearly white cornerstones, something that enhanced the brick's colour and provided much-needed contrast to the place. Every side of the building, including its two wings, were dotted with tall rectangular windows, giving anyone inside a good view of the wonderful scenery all around.
Originally a two-storey building, another smaller story was added, thanks in part to an effort by her predecessor. This allowed easier access to the rooftop, where she recollected spending hours messing about and skirting around her duties.
Ruhuna stopped the tank in front of the columned portico and the blonde quickly hopped out of the tank, still carrying her hand luggage and her trusty umbrella. She took a minute to look down at her clothes, a bespoke black suit and pants, tailor-made to her measurements back in England.
Decorating it was a glamorous silk tie, featuring a delightful blend of red, white and blue. On her lapel, was a bright red rose, which had miraculously survived the journey, only needing a bit of readjustment. She checked if there were any wrinkles on her suit and tossed her hair around to remove any other traces of her long voyage, not caring that she was gathering strange looks from the redcoat series posted at the entrance.
She looked behind one last time, as her Cromwell and its motorcycle escorts carried on to the tank sheds around the corner. She finally turned her head back to the building, glancing up to the magnificent flag of Gloriana, flying high above on top of a flagpole.
After years of not seeing it, she smiled to herself and before she was overwhelmed by her emotions she started walking towards the entrance, her Oxford shoes clicking against the cobblestone path, trying her best not to break into a run.
Take it slowly, she said to herself.
After all, after so many years, she, Earl Grey, had finally returned home.
AN: That's the end of the chapter, hope y'all like this and if you do, don't be shy to follow this story. Criticism is welcomed and is a sought after resource. Well, till next time.
Edit: (05/22/20) Fixed up some grammatical errors and patched up a few sentences
Edit: (06/28/20) Massive proofreading session, weeding out the usual errors and fixed up some continuity errors.
Edit: (07/29/21) Rewrote the entire bloody thing, so enjoy and leave any comments telling me what you guys think! Special thanks to Sharky and Saloci for the massive help they gave.