Early release of the next chapter because I have no self control :) Hope you enjoy! Leave some comments and let me know what you think!

A/N: TRIGGERS: Suicidal thoughts, almost suicide, starvation, self harm but in the form of burning instead of the usual flavor. (ALSO ALL MIGHT IS AN ASSHOLE)I know it's probably a little confusing in this chapter, but Izuku is tiptoeing the line between heroics and villainy. He can't stop the suicidal/depressive thoughts, but he also wants to be a hero more than anything. It will be a constant battle throughout this story, because like it says in the summary, the road to heroics could easily turn into the path to villainy with the right circumstances.

--

"You wanna be a hero so bad? I've got an idea for you. Pray for a quirk in your next life and go take a swan dive off the roof!"

Bakugou's heinous cackle filled the air as Izuku sat on the floor of the classroom clutching the charred skin of his shoulder. Rage coursed through his veins, hot and heavy. Izuku wanted nothing more in that moment than to watch how the toxic green liquid would slide down his tormentors face. To watch as his face went numb, and see how Bakugou would tremble as the muscles in his face go slack, unable to move. But-but no.

Izuku couldn't.

He wouldn't.

Despite everything in his life ripping at the seams. Despite it cracking under a fragile foundation of hope. A foundation molded from the faraway ambitions of a bright eyed five year old who had nothing to fear and nothing to lose. Despite everyone telling him otherwise, Izuku was not a villain. He was not evil. He watched as Katsuki and his goons left the classroom. The sickly sweet scent of caramel lingering in the air, clogging his lungs and sticking to his throat. In his heart, he knew that everything that his childhood friend had turned into, was because of his own insecurities.

But that never stopped the lingering thought that Hisashi never let Izuku forget. Izuku was toxic. He brought the worst out of everyone around him. Maybe he deserved this cruelty. This anguish. The absolute hellscape that was Izuku's life. Maybe he brought this on himself. Izuku sighed as he grabbed his bright yellow backpack and trudged to the school gates. He watched the world go by as he made his way to a nearby building. It was abandoned, and while not the tallest building in the city, it was enough.

Izuku made his way up six flights of dilapidated stairs, avoiding holes and missing pieces of concrete. Breathing heavily, he finally reaches the door to the roof. Pushing through it, the sunlight pierces through the clouds. He drops his backpack at the door and toes off his shoes. Slowly, he makes his way to the edge where he can see the roads and people below. The feeling hits Izuku like a ton of bricks. It settles over his shoulders like a scratchy blanket, leaving him breathless and heaving as the weight settles in. He could do it. Looking down six stories, Izuku imagines taking the step off that would rip the uncomfortable weight from his being and send him into sweet bliss. Sweet nothing. He couldn't imagine anything better. Except-

He could.

He could see himself in the future. A hero. But what a distant future that was. Izuku was a determined kid, but how many more times could he be knocked down, only to get back up and be forced to suffer again. He wanted to be a hero, but how could he? His mother was gone. His father hated him, and rightfully so. His quirk belonged to a villain. He couldn't have a son with such an awful quirk. Bakugou hated him because he assumed Izuku was "quirkless." His school wouldn't let the "quirkless" boy pass classes. That would prove he was smart. That he wasn't useless. That he wasn't a deku. Izuku stepped closer to the edge, his toes hanging over as he mulled over his decision. He had nothing left keeping him here.

CRASH

Izuku jumped in alarm as the roof quaked behind him. He staggered off the edge and turned to find-

All Might?

Suddenly, All Might's body began to smoke, and in a poof, a smaller form stood on his place. He crashed to his butt, sitting against the door Izuku had come from earlier.

"A-All Might? Are-are you okay?" Izuku whispered softly, carefully approaching his idol.

The older man looked up in alarm before rolling his beady eyes in annoyance.

"Young man, I ask that you not mention this to any of your…friends." He paused before explaining a past injury that prevented him from doing hero work like he used to. As he ended the long winded story, Izuku wrung his hands together nervously.

"I-I have a question, All Might." He spoke quietly, suddenly feeling like his old, anxious self in front of his idol.

"Ahh…I really must be going young man. I have hero matters to attend to." All Might stated as he got up and made his way to the very edge that Izuku had found himself looking over moments prior.

"Please, it'll only take a second, I promise!" Izuku followed him to the edge, frantic in his chase to hear those words. He has to know.

"All Might, can I be a hero, even without a quirk?" Izuku yells accidentally, covering his mouth immediately as his hero turned to face him, mouth open.

"I think… that a quirkless hero would be nothing but a liability. You would put fellow heroes at risk. Try being a police officer. Not much credit, but a somewhat noble profession. Just… be more realistic young man. Now, I must go!" All Might took off over the edge, jumping to some unknown location.

Izuku took a deep breath and put his shoes back on. He grabbed his backpack and ignored his growling stomach as he made his way back home, spirit effectively crushed.

I'll do it tomorrow.

A loud ring of explosions cut off any further thought.

—

Katsuki always knew he would be the best. The best hero. Number one. He always knew he'd do anything to get there. Katsuki could also say that today had effectively taken him down a few pegs. As he struggled in a dirty space between two ancient buildings. The villain had come out of nowhere. The gross, greenish-brown sludge monster had caught him off guard and Katsuki couldn't get free. Not for a lack of trying. He had thrown his palms back, setting off large explosions to get the villain to back off. Now all he could manage were smaller, constant explosions, but the sludge villain had cut off his airway. The thing shoved its slime far down Katsuki's throat and bound his arms in its body. He couldn't breathe. His vision was going blurry and dark around the edges. Katsuki would die before this thing made him look weak!

All of these heroes are just standing by and watching as he dies.

Before Katsuki could do anything to save himself, a familiar tuft of green hair ran towards him full speed.

"KACCHAN!"

The stupid fucking nerd threw his gross, yellow backpack into what Katsuki assumed was the villains eyes, because it finally, finally flinched away, allowing Katsuki to gasp and suck as much air in as possible.

Why are you here? Why is it YOU?

"I couldn't just watch you die." Izuku looks at him, tears welling up in his overly large green eyes.

"I AM HERE!" All Might fell from the sky, smashing the sludge villain to pieces. Katsuki crashed to the ground, clutching at his throat and trying to cough up the excess gunk still sitting in his lungs. He could do nothing but watch as Deku is mercilessly scolded by the pro heroes for stepping in. His thoughts falter as Deku wipes his… tears?

Why are they green?

The other boy wipes at his face quickly with the tissues handed to him. And like that, there is no evidence of the strange sickly colored tears dripping from his eyes. Katsuki shook his head as he felt for obvious wounds there.

I must have hit my head pretty hard. Or the lack of oxygen is making me hallucinate.

"Oi! Deku!" Katsuki stood too quickly and stumbled a bit to the side. The green-haired boy looks his way. Katsuki gets into his face, anger coursing through his veins like lightning.

"This doesn't mean anything, shitty Deku. I didn't need your fucking help and I don't owe you anything." Izuku's face fell slightly and he scoffed. Turning back towards the scene, the pro's complimented his quirk and inform him that he could be their sidekicks any day.

He never noticed green eyes watching him apathetically. Or the dark eyes watching his childhood friend from afar.

—

Izuku went to sleep hungry again. That's day four. He'd have to find something tomorrow. He already felt weak down to the bone, weary from the day's events. All Might said he could never be a hero. He would always be useless. Izuku sat up suddenly. In a fit of rage he grabbed the few items of All Might merchandise he had. He threw the figurine into the wall, feeling the tears welling up. He took the poster and ripped it to shreds. The tears fell. Izuku shoved the shreds of paper and pieces plastic under his mattress. He took the small lighter he kept tucked away in a small rip of the mattress and ran to the bathroom. He was lucky to come home and find Hisashi missing. With the click of the bathroom door, Izuku looked into the mirror. His reflection was disheveled at best. Puffy, bleeding lips from biting them. Red cheeks from crying, and deep circles the color of the bruises littering his torso to match. The most noticeable thing:

The bright, green liquid spilling from his eyes. Tracking down his face, leaving a gross, green path lingering on his face. He got too angry. He can't do that.

Don't cry

Stop crying

You can't cry

TOXIC

Izuku's voice began to mix with Hisashi's in his head. The words ringing in his ears painfully. For every word that sings out in his father's voice, Izuku takes the lighter and hovers it over his skin. His wrists and forearms are littered with blisters and old scars already, so he moves to his thighs. They have their own scars, but there are fewer.

He burned himself over and over and over and over again, until finally, the tears morphed from the toxic green, into the normal clear, watery consistency. He watched the skin melt away, forming red craters, littered with small specks of blood. The deeper of the burns begin to blister immediately. After what felt like hours he finally wrapped all the wounds and went to bed.

He wore no pajamas so the injuries wouldn't be rubbed while he slept. It was Friday, so he had the weekend to heal.

This is how he would become a hero. He would cope. He would survive. After all pain meant he was alive. Pain meant he was surviving. Without pain he would be nothing. It never erased all of the feelings of being unworthy, useless or worse…poison. He would talk himself off the ledge every time.

Because through his own pain, a hero would be born.