After a whole year, existence had finally been rebuilt and Gwenpool was now flying around in space using a shopping cart.

"This sure is the life" said Gwenpool

Suddenly, her best friend Captain Crunch popped out of her vagina and said "Gwen, the multiverse is in trouble!"

"Really? Who's threatening it?" Asked Gwenpool

"Your worst enemy, Ed Wood!" said Captain Crunch.

"Ed Wood? So he's finally returned" said Gwen somberly.

Last time she'd fought Ed Wood, he'd been commanding an army of Tom Cruises that spanned across the galaxy.

Gwen's vag-saw just wasn't enough to take him down, she had to sacrifice her best acquaintance, GG Allen, to the god-gods (gods who have created other gods) in order to get the necessary power to vanquish Ed Wood and his army once and for all.

Now it seemed that he had returned and was looking for vengeance and Gwenpool shuddered at what that could mean.

"Let's go kill that monster" said Gwenpool in her trademark Middle Eastern accent.

Gwenpool and Captain Crunch then flew away on a giant stick of butter made out of used copies of the SNES game, Primal Rage.

…

Meanwhile, Ed Wood sat on a beanbag chair made from rusty chainsaws and plotted his next move to get revenge on Gwenpool.

"So, it would appear that her and her friend Captain Crunch have left to go and train in order to kill me. The fools, the power I possess is greater than any power in the galaxy."

As Ed Wood thought to himself, his second in command, Ronald Reagan entered the room on a skateboard made of Fruit Roll Ups and said "sir, I've brought you the weapon you requested."

Ed Wood stopped plotting and said "excellent, bring it to me."

Ronald did as he was instructed and handed Ed Wood the greatest, most destructive weapon in the universe, a box of Kleenex tissues.

Each tissue contained entire omniverses in them and if one were to blow their nose with one of them, it would single handedly wipe a whole universe from existence.

"Thank you for this Reagan." Said Ed Wood.

"You are quite welcome sir" said Ronald Reagan

…

Back to our heroes, Gwenpool and Captain Crunch had been training their asses off on the pretzel planet in order to get ready for the big fight with Ed Wood.

They had been using a training method that had been forbidden since the dawn of time due to how death was certain if one failed to go all the way in this ordeal.

The training method consisted of eating 300 Lunchables Pizzas in a row without stopping.

If one were to become full from eating too much pizza or they were to lose count of how many pizzas they'd eaten, then the Cenobites would rise from the underworld and they would tear your soul apart.

"These pizzas taste so good" said Captain Crunch

"It's as if my taste buds are having sumo wrestling matches with each other as we speak" agreed Gwenpool

Gwen and Captain Crunch had managed to eat 288 pizzas so far. Most warriors faltered after the first 50 pizzas, but did Gwen and Captain Crunch seem like average warriors to you?

It was said that if one were to eat all 300 pizzas, then they would be blessed with a power that no one could even fathom.

Gwen and Captain Crunch had continued eating pizzas until there was only one pizza left for them to consume.

As Gwen reached over to take it, one of the cenobites rose from the underworld and said "no one is supposed to eat all 300 pizzas, it is forbidden"

Gwen responded with "yeah, but why should I care?"

The cenobite then revealed its true form, the form of Ken Watanabe, and said "if you do not heed my words, then I will show you tortures that have never even been fathomed by the human race"

Unfortunately, Gwen had already eaten the pizza while he was talking.

"HERETICS!" yelled Ken

Ken grew to planet size and attempted to stomp on our heroine, but Gwen felt the power of Lunchables coursing through her body. It was as if her soul burned with the fire of a thousand suns and her heart flooded with the all the grace of the fountain of youth.

Gwen reached in between her legs, but instead of pulling out her trademark vag-saw, she pulled out a new weapon, the vag-axe!

Gwen immediately leaped towards Ken Watanabe and cleaved the cenobite in two with her vag-axe, causing the cenobite to explode into a pile of pink frosted sugar cookies.

Gwen landed on her feet before taking a bite out of one of the cookies.

"Tastes like victory and justice" said Gwen

Captain Crunch nodded his head, and the two of them flew off in a giant oven mitt with the intent to destroy Ed Wood once and for all.

…

Gwenpool and Captain Crunch landed their oven mitt on Ed Wood's battleworld and they both saw the fearsome war lord standing before them, grinning at their arrival.

"It's about time you showed up. I worried that our game was over before it even started" said Ed Wood while gargling golf balls.

Gwenpool began breakdancing and said "it ends now Ed."

Captain Crunch took a bite out of Jimmy Stewart's brains and said "I agree, your reign of terror is about to end."

Ed Wood laughed and said "is that so? Then why don't you demonstrate for me?" before snapping his fingers and summoning an army of George Orwells to fight against our heroes.

Gwenpool pulled out her vag-axe while Captain Crunch pulled out his nipple-sword and the both of them rushed towards the George Orwell army with intent to kill.

Gwenpool used her vag-axe to cleave through a dozen Orwell heads at once. Blood, tears, and Dunkaroo dip littered the battlefield as Gwen chopped and sliced her way through the Orwells.

Captain Crunch was doing equally as well as his nipple-sword glistened in night as he sliced off numerous Orwell heads. There was not a single swing wasted, if an Orwell didn't lose their head, then another body part was bound to come off.

Ed Wood sat and watched the battle, grin still not leaving his face as he watched his soldiers getting thrashed left and right.

"It's all going according to plan" said Ed Wood.

Soon, all of the Orwells had been killed, leaving Gwenpool and Captain Crunch standing there covered in blood and a little bit of honey mustard sauce for some reason.

"Is that all you've got" asked Gwenpool mockingly.

Ed Wood shook his head before saying "Reagan, come and take care of these two."

Ronald Reagan jumped out of the shadows and did as he was told, pulling out his pube-saber and gesturing for Gwenpool and Captain Crunch to come to him.

Gwen and Crunch accepted his challenge and immediately started clashing their weapons against his.

Gwenpool swung her vag-axe with finesse and grace while Captain Crunch swung his nipple sword with speed and precision.

Ronald Reagan however, managed to block every single strike they threw at him with lots of parries and counters.

Gwen swung her vag-axe at Ronald a dozen times with the intent to chop Ronald's head off, but Ronald blocked every swing before slapping her across the face.

"Pitiful, your technique is sloppy" said Reagan

Captain Crunch tried slicing up Reagan with his nipple sword but Reagan parried that too, and kicked the captain across the room.

"Absolutely useless" said Reagan

Reagan then approached Gwenpool and used his superb swordplay to slice her shirt off, revealing her bust to the world.

"You shouldn't have done that" said Gwenpool

"Oh really, and why is that?" said Reagan

"Because, you've just given me the opportunity to do THIS!" said Gwenpool before pushing a secret button located on her right nipple, which caused her right boob to turn into the Spartan laser.

"Oh" said Reagan pitifully before Gwen shot a bright red laser at Reagan, hitting him dead-center and causing Ed Wood's right-hand man to melt into a pile of goo.

Captain Crunch smiled at his friend's victory, but Ed Wood's grin disappeared as soon as he saw Ronald Reagan die.

"Now you've made me mad" said Ed Wood.

Ed Wood pulled out his box of Kleenex tissues and Captain Crucnh exclaimed "it can't be, I thought those were only a legend!

Ed Wood laughed before saying "just one of these tissues is enough to wipe away a whole universe, but let's see what happens when I blow my nose into all of them at once!"

Gwen and Crunch ice skated towards Ed Wood in an attempt to snatch those tissues from his hand, but it was too late.

Ed Wood pulled all the tissues out and blew his nose into them all at the exact same time, causing a cosmic explosion that slowly consumed everything in its path.

Gwenpool closed her eyes and braced herself for the end, but suddenly she remembered what her mentor, the Combat Mecha Xabungle opening told her before he committed suicide by eating too many raisins.

"Gwenpool, when all is lost, just say no" said the Combat Mecha Xabungle opening.

Gwen then came back to reality, looked towards the explosion and said "no."

The cosmic explosion then stopped in its tracks before saying "well, fine if that's how you feel" before retreating back into the box of Kleenex Tissues, never to be seen again.

Ed Wood then said "wow, this sucks."

Captain Crunch and Gwenpool then hop scotched towards Ed Wood and began slicing up the war lord with their trademark weapons until eventually he was nothing more than 276362838438648 fragmented bite-sized pieces.

Gwen and Crunch then looked towards each other and grinned, before snorting Ed Wood's pieces like cocaine and were immediately blessed with the holy power of Ed Wood.

The two of them then flew across the galaxy to have more adventures and you gave me the deed to your house as a reward for enjoying this fic.