Reversal of Fortune: Chapter 32: No Sleuth, Just Consequences
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 11; 8:55 AM
1ST FLOOR HALLWAY
ROYAL WOODS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
As Lisa, Lola, Lana, and Lucy walked through the hallways to get to class, all seemed normal.
But when they heard Janie, one of Lola's former beauty pageant rivals, gush, "O-M-Gosh… that comic was amazing!", to her friends, they gasped.
Lola stuttered, "J-J-Janie l-likes c-c-comics?"
The elementary school-aged Loud sisters would be even more stunned when they heard Roxanne claim, "Yeah, Lincoln's totally gonna win that comic contest!"
Lisa, Lola, Lana, and Lucy's jaws dropped as they walked past Lola's friends. When they heard Janie and Roxanne's friends agree with them, Lana snickered, "Hey, Lols… looks like your 'friends' suddenly became comic geeks without you around."
Lola glared at Lana while Lisa mused, "Hmm… interesting, if preposterous and infantile behavior changes. Especially for ladies of their standing." She then offered, "Lola, would you be interested in inviting these girls over for brain scans?"
Lola scoffed, "Puh-lease. If they want to like guys who wear their underwear on the outside, that just opens up a path for me to get back to the top. Speaking of which, did you hear something about Lincoln?"
Lisa hypothesized, "Must be another Lincoln. The Lincoln we know is scientifically incapable of producing anything of value to the world."
Lisa, Lola, and Lana shared loud laughter at Lisa's remark as they and Lucy walked away from Lola's friends.
But as Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lucy rounded the corner of the hallways, they were stunned to find Mollie gushing to her friends, "Did you see the drawings in Lincoln's comics?! They look professional!"
Kat added, "And the story? Good god! Makes me wish it could end like that in real life!"
Girl Jordan claimed, "Lincoln's totally got this. I already told Paige to send me an autograph when the two of them meet Bill Buck!"
Cristina laughed, "Jordan, you're such a dork! But for this… I'll make an exception."
Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lucy gasped, while Lola muttered, "A-an a-autograph?" She then screamed, "THAT SHOULD BE ME!", drawing the attention of everyone in the hallways to the Loud sisters.
The Cannonball Gang looked at the Loud sisters in bewilderment. Sadie asked Lola, "Uh… little girl… are you feeling OK?!"
Lola lied, "Yeah, I'm fine," before telling her sisters, "Come on, let's go."
As Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lucy walked away, Lola mocked, "The popular fifth grade girls liking comics drawn by Lincoln?! Now, I've seen everything!"
Lisa snarked, "Well, that's two signs of the apocalypse right there."
Lola asked, "Where is that nerd, anyway? Been missing his good luck!"
Lisa mused, "It's interesting. I haven't been able to-", before gasping when she heard Haiku and the rest of the Morticians Club praise Lincoln's comic.
Persephone praised, "Lincoln's comic is so dark, but that's what makes it so beautiful."
Boris concurred, "Yes, Persephone. May the spirits, both light and dark, guide him to achieve his dreams."
When the Morticians Club saw Lucy walking with her sisters through the hallways, they immediately greeted her, "Good morning, Lucy."
Lana spoke for the rest of her present sisters, "Uh… yeah… can't stand all this spooky stuff, so we're gonna go meet up with our own friends! Toodles!"
Lucy waved goodbye to her sisters before greeting her friends, "Hey, guys."
A concerned Bertrand asked, "What's wrong, Luce? You don't look so good."
Lucy explained, "Sigh. Just let me get to my locker."
The Morticians Club traded glances before Dante shrugged his shoulders, "OK." The Morticians Club then moved out of the way, revealing that Lucy's locker had been painted in pink, with rainbow and pony stickers all over it.
Lucy gasped in realization before growling, "You guys know pink is my least favorite color. And those rainbow and pony sisters… ugh. Repaint. My. Stuff."
Haiku lied, "We just got here. This is why we were standing at your locker: we didn't want you to see it."
Seeing Lucy's arms remain crossed, Haiku offered, "Look, we'll repaint it after school. We've just got to get in touch with the janitor and Principal Huggins, tell them what happened, and we'll be good."
Lucy groaned, "You'd better," before opening her locker.
When Lucy opened her locker, Princess Pony flyers, posters, books, and bobbleheads, among numerous other pieces of Princess Pony merchandise, flew out of Lucy's locker. The locker even had a speaker playing a low-res version of the Princess Pony theme song. What was inside Lucy's locker stunned her even more: it was decked out in pink paint and Princess Pony stickers and posters that had been glued to the locker. The rest of the students in the hallway gasped at the sight, including the Morticians Club members themselves.
The sheer mess of Princess Pony merchandise flying out of Lucy's locker also attracted the attention of the Loud sisters, who turned around and gasped in shock. They immediately ran over to the merchandise's landing site, hoping to ruthlessly make fun of and gossip about the poor soul who had these flyers in their locker.
But, when Lisa, Lola, and Lana looked up from the papers they had desperately tried not to step on, they gasped in astonishment at the sight of Lucy's pink, Princess Pony-clad lockers.
While Lola and Lisa suppressed snickers, and the rest of the students started pulling out their phones and taking pictures and videos of the situation, Lana stammered, "L-L-L-Lucy?"
Lola immediately yelled, "I'm calling shenanigans. I bet someone planted that there. There's no way the Princess of Darkness would ever read Princess Pony. Besides, isn't that Lincoln's thing?"
Everyone who heard Lola's joke immediately laughed loudly at it, except for the members of the Morticians Club.
Lana laughed, "Yeah, I bet Lincoln planted that there because he couldn't take our teasing anymore!", causing even more raucous laughter amongst the students present. Everyone at the site of Lucy's locker began to sing:
Linc's Princess Pony, Linc's Princess Pony
What is friendship all about?
Linc's Princess Pony, Linc's Princess Pony
A favorite sibling is magic
As most of the students present laughed at Lincoln, Lisa offered through chuckles, "Twin sibling units, your hypotheses might be correct. It is indeed likely that our brother unit planted those there to redirect the rightful mockery and teasing he receives to Lucy. However, I can hack into the school's security cameras and investigate the true culprit for you, if you're interested."
Lana and Lola insisted, "We know Lincoln did it! We know he did!"
As Lucy heard the merciless, loud laughter towards Lincoln, she initially considered staying silent. But when she heard the venom with which the other students were laughing at Lincoln, she remembered Lincoln's rant in her nightmare. So, she sighed and quietly muttered, "G-g-guys… it was me."
However, Lola, Lana, and Lisa kept laughing at Lucy.
Lucy growled and spoke up, "Guys! I'm telling you, it was me!"
Lola, Lana, and Lisa paused before laughing at Lucy. Lola chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, it was you. We believe you, sweetheart."
Lisa offered, "Look, grayscale sororal unit, we know that lately, you have tended to cover for our absent good luck charm. You don't have to cover for him here."
When Lola, Lana, and Lisa saw Lucy's facial expression remain unchanged, they stopped laughing. Lola asked Lucy, "Wait… you were serious?"
Lana asked, "What's going on here?"
Lisa concurred, "Yes. Explain yourself, grayscale sororal unit."
With dozens of students eagerly watching her, Lucy replied, "Sigh." She then explained, "Remember when Lincoln clogged the toilet with a Princess Pony book?"
The whole school laughed, but Lola, Lana, and Lisa laughed the loudest. Lana chuckled, "Oh yeah! What a Lame-O!"
Lucy admitted, "That night, I was actually reading the Princess Pony book. I read it in the bathroom."
The rest of the students gasped as Lucy explained, "When I heard Lincoln coming in, I panicked. I threw the book in the toilet by accident and hid in the bathtub. Lincoln was in such a rush that he didn't see it, and flushed it, clogging the toilet. The next morning, Lincoln told you about the Princess Pony book that clogged the toilet, and he heard you guys threaten to make whoever owned it the laughingstock of this house for the rest of their life. So, he took the blame for me. I know, it was a terrible thing for me to do, but even I need a break from the darkness every now and then."
The rest of the students present traded glances in disbelief. Lisa gasped, "Inconceivable! I must check the security footage on the cloud!", before walking away and pulling out her phone to do just that.
After a few seconds, Lola pointed at Lucy and yelled, "LUCY LIKES PRINCESS PONY!", causing the other students present to hysterically laugh at her.
One student mocked, "The Queen of Darkness! A PRINCESS PONY LOVER!"
Connor taunted, "What a fake!"
Trent ridiculed Lucy, "She's even worse than Lincoln! And he wears his underwear on the outside!"
Chandler then sneered, "Hey, Lucy Lame!", before giving Lucy a wedgie that revealed her Princess Pony undies, sending the student body into even more hysterical laughter. Chandler then assured Trent, "Now they're even!"
Lana then asked, "Hey, hey, how does that song go again?" She then led Royal Woods Elementary School's student body in a rousing rendition of:
Lucy's Princess Pony, Lucy's Princess Pony
What is friendship all about?
Lucy's Princess Pony, Lucy's Princess Pony
A favorite sibling is magic
Surrounded by laughing students, Lucy began to cry.
As Lola saw Lucy begin to cry, she mocked, "Oh, what's the matter, spooky? You gonna cwy now?"
Lana babbled, "Cwy like a widduh baby Wucy!"
The rest of the students began to point at her and repeatedly chant, "WIDDUH BABY WUCY!"
Horrified by the cruelty of her fellow students, Lucy quickly grabbed her things from her locker, stuffed them into her bag, and attempted to run to the bathroom to cry. However, as she did, Lance tripped her, causing her to faceplant onto a wet floor sign. Lucy attempted to pick herself up, but didn't see the wet floor sign, and quickly slipped, fell, and landed on her butt.
As Lucy groaned and wailed in pain, the volume of the other students' laughter only increased. But, as Lucy struggled to pick herself up, Principal Huggins walked through the hallway and grumbled, "Alright, what is this commotion about?"
Lola shrieked, "LUCY LOUD, THE PRINCESS OF DARKNESS, LIKES PRINCESS PONY! IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST HILARIOUS THING EVER!"
Lana added, "Yeah, and Lincoln planted that stuff in her locker to distract from the fact that he's trying to win a comic contest!"
Principal Huggins shook his head. He tried to start addressing the students, "Alright," but couldn't make himself heard over the students' raucous laughter.
A frustrated Principal Huggins shouted, "STUDENTS! IT'S 8:59 AM! THIS STUDENT IS OBVIOUSLY SEVERELY HURT, AND YOU KEEP MAKING FUN OF HER?! GET TO CLASS, OR I'M GIVING THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!"
The rest of the students gasped at Principal Huggins' threat before scattering to their classes. As the bell rung, Principal Huggins then walked up to Lucy and asked her, "Hey, kid, you OK?"
Lucy sniffled, "No."
Principal Huggins then held his hand out to Lucy and offered, "Come on, let's get you to the nurse's office."
Lucy sniffled, "OK," before walking with Principal Huggins to the nurse's office. As they walked, Principal Huggins asked, "So, what were you saying about Lincoln? You know, winning a comic contest and all?"
Lucy started, "Sigh. Lincoln loves Ace Savvy. As a matter of fact, he was supposed to attend an Ace Savvy convention a couple of months ago."
Principal Huggins recalled, "Oh yeah, that was fun."
Lucy gasped, "You're an Ace Savvy fan, Principal Huggins?!"
Principal Huggins affirmed, "I sure am! Those comics got me through a lonely childhood!"
Lucy suggested, "Why don't you collaborate with Lincoln on some comics? He's an amazing artist, and I bet being a school principal, you could help him write great stories!"
Principal Huggins outwardly sighed, "The life of a principal is a busy one. Between work, golf, and my own personal life, I just don't have the time to get to know each of my students like that."
Lucy countered, "Maybe you should."
Principal Huggins thought aloud, "Maybe I should," before opening the door to the nurse's office. When he did, he told Lucy, "Alright, go inside. The nurse should fix you up."
Lucy sighed, "Thanks, Principal Huggins."
Principal Huggins chuckled, "Don't mention it. Seriously, don't mention it." As the nurse met Lucy, Principal Huggins walked away from the nurse's office with a scowl on his face.
(Time Skip: 9:05 AM, Mrs. Johnson's Classroom)
Girl Jordan read an excerpt from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, "A few mornings later, Peter and Edmund were looking at the suit of armour and wondering if they could take it to bits when the two girls rushed into the room and said, 'Look out! Here comes the Macready and a whole gang with her!' 'Sharp's the word,' said Peter, as all four-", before being cut off by a knock on the door.
Mrs. Johnson told her class, "I'll get it. Paige, keep reading."
As Girl Jordan continued to read, Lincoln was putting the finishing touches on his comic book for the contest, not paying any attention to what Girl Jordan was reading.
Mrs. Johnson then opened the door for Principal Huggins. Upon seeing him, Mrs. Johnson gasped, "Principal Huggins! This is a surprise! How are you?!" The rest of the class gasped as Principal Huggins walked past Mrs. Johnson and straight towards Lincoln's desk.
As Clyde saw Principal Huggins approach them, he whispered to Lincoln, "Yo, pree Principal Huggins! Man might snatch ya comic, styll!"
However, Lincoln was so focused on drawing that he didn't even pay attention to Clyde. Clyde groaned before tapping Lincoln on the shoulder and loudly whispering, "Yo! Yo-", before gulping as Principal Huggins towered over Lincoln and Clyde, glaring at them.
Principal Huggins then snatched Lincoln's comic book off his desk. He then scolded, "Loud, McBride, school time is meant for learning, not for doodling degenerate fantasies! This trash belongs to me now!"
Lincoln begged, "But Principal Huggins, you can't take our comic!"
Principal Huggins snarled, "Oh, and now you're giving me sass? That's detention! Today! Till 6:00!"
Clyde told Principal Huggins, "But we have to get to the post office by 5:00. That's the contest deadline."
Principal Huggins sarcastically replied, "Oh, I didn't realize. I'll just give it back to you," before yelling, "NOT!"
As Principal Huggins walked away with Lincoln's comic, Clyde, Lincoln, Girl Jordan, Mollie, Joy, Paige, and Cookie harshly glared in his direction. While Lincoln stared Principal Huggins down, his friends and allies gritted their teeth and clenched their fists, with Girl Jordan, Paige, and Clyde even giving Principal Huggins low, but audible growls.
When Principal Huggins finally slammed the door shut, Mrs. Johnson uttered to her class, "Well… that was, uh, something. Uh, let's see… Paige, why don't you continue where we left off?"
Paige shook off her rage and replied, "Uh, sure thing, Mrs. Johnson!", before continuing to read the book to the class.
Meanwhile, outside Mrs. Johnson's classroom, Principal Huggins snarled to himself, "Now, with that out of the way, let's see if this kid's comic deserves the hype it's getting." He then took a look at the cover and loudly gasped.
After looking at the cover, Principal Huggins stammered, "M-m-my god. T-the cover alone could win the contest!" He then scanned the hallway to see if anyone was watching him before sprinting down the hallway to get to his office.
(Time Skip: 1 hour later, Principal Huggins' Office)
Principal Huggins leaned back in his chair in astonishment. He gasped to himself, "T-t-this c-comic i-is incredible!" He then surveyed the office. Everyone around him seemed to be too occupied with their own things to notice what Principal Huggins had planned.
When Principal Huggins saw everyone looking distracted, he uttered to himself, "Sorry, Lincoln, but I'm making some changes to the script."
Principal Huggins then snuck off to the photocopier room and proceeded to Xerox two extra copies of Lincoln's entire comic. Once he did that, he took the three versions of Lincoln's comic to his office. Principal Huggins then hid the copies of the comic in one of his drawers as he thought aloud, "I'll give these back to that brat after his detention." Now alone with the original copy of Lincoln's comic, Principal Huggins opened his drawer of markers and colored over the segment that read, "By Lincoln Loud," to take away Lincoln's credit from the comic's original copy. He then proceeded to grab a white marker and write, "By Wilbur T. Huggins," and his home address, a little up and to the right from where Lincoln had originally written his own name and the home address of the Sweetwaters.
After Principal Huggins wrote his name on Lincoln's comic, he hid it in his brown tote bag, closed it, and walked out of his office while whistling.
Cheryl asked Principal Huggins, "Where you off to?"
Principal Huggins stammered, "Oh, I, uh… have some stuff to take care of out of office. Will be back in an hour or two. Tell everyone I'm gone, OK?"
Cheryl chirped, "I will!", before waving, "Bye," to Principal Huggins.
Principal Huggins gave a nervous smile to Cheryl as he walked out of the office. He then ran to his reserved parking space, started his white four-door sedan, and sped away from the school.
(Time Skip: 10:55 AM, Lucy's Classroom)
A fair-skinned woman with long, wavy, dark brunette hair, two pairs of eyelashes, red lipstick, matching hoop earrings, an orange blouse with a white collar, khaki pants, and white dress shoes, approached the blackboard as her students took their seats after putting their snack bags away. The blackboard indicated her name was Ms. Van Slyke. Ms. Van Slyke started, "OK, students, now everybody, pull out your language arts notebooks. Today, we're going to read the poems you have written to the rest of the class. Now, who wants to get started?"
Hands shot up, prompting Ms. Van Slyke to chuckle, "Ahh… we have a lot of hands up today." She then pointed to a fair-skinned girl with a pink bow on her blonde ponytail, a hot pink flower shirt, a light blue kilt, and white flats, "Brittany, why don't you start us off?"
Brittany Kellinger took Lucy's English notebook from her desk, stood up and politely replied, "Thanks, Ms. Van Slyke," before walking to the front of the class. As Brittany walked to the front of the class, she taunted Lucy by evilly smirking at her and showing Lucy her own English notebook. Lucy clenched her fists, growled at Brittany, and started, "Ms.-", but Ms. Van Slyke quickly interrupted her, "Up-up-up. Brittany is presenting now. We know how much you love poetry and other, erm, sensitive subject matter, but you're going to have to wait your turn."
The rest of the class laughed hysterically at Ms. Van Slyke's joke, causing Lucy to seethe in her seat.
When Brittany reached the front of the class, she smiled, "Thanks, Ms. Van Slyke." She then started, "Originally, I had another poem I was going to show you guys. However, because of recent events, I have decided to, with the help of a fellow student, write an improvised poem coming strictly from the heart," as she showed the rest of the class Lucy's black notebook.
Lucy gasped to herself, "She wouldn't."
Brittany introduced her poem, "So, with words by Lucy Loud and performance by me, enjoy." She cleared her throat before reading:
Oh, Princess Pony
You make me feel so free
Not indulging in darkness all the time
Fills me with glee
A loud round of laughter erupted through the classroom as Lucy put her head in her arms and gritted her teeth at Brittany. Brittany smirked at Lucy before clearing her throat again. She then barely stifled laughs while reading:
Your horse sense highly attuned
Over your magical friendship, I swoon
My sisters would never dare to think
That my favorite color is actually pink
Everyone in the class except for Lucy laughed hysterically at these lines as Lucy's head sunk further into her arms. When the class calmed down, Brittany read:
My brother takes me to your booths
Since I have to hide the truth
Princess Pony says, "My heart will never be free"
Considering what he goes through, that couldn't be me
Lucy gasped and clenched her fists as Brittany continued:
I have a stash of your toys in my house
That I pray to every night, no doubt
When you gallop across my screen guilt-free
It reminds me of my brother's love for me
The rest of the class laughed and taunted Lucy in a sing-songy voice: "Lucy loves her brother! Lucy loves her brother!"
Lucy began to cry as she heard her classmates taunting her. However, Brittany's next lines would turn her sadness into full-blown rage:
When I threw you in the toilet, I cried that night
The world discovering my bright side is my greatest fright
On the outside, I may look black
Because the thick skin I need, I so desperately lack
As the rest of the class laughed loudly at Lucy, she gritted her teeth in anger, ran to the front of the class, lunged at Brittany and taking her down to the ground. The rest of Lucy's classmates immediately surrounded her and yelled, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
However, Ms. Van Slyke quickly rushed over to the fighting girls and pulled them apart, yelling, "HEY! HEY! BREAK IT UP!"
The rest of the class continued to laugh, but unfortunately for them, Principal Huggins knocked on the classroom door. Ms. Van Slyke told her giggling classmates, "I'll get it," before warning Lucy, "Stay right there."
As Ms. Van Slyke walked to the door, Brittany smirked at her friends before sarcastically taunting, "Hey, Lucy. You know… you're always welcome to join our club. Give or take… about 500 years!"
The rest of the class laughed before Lucy lunged at Brittany again, pulling her down to the ground and landing punch after punch on her face and chest, much to Principal Huggins' and Ms. Van Slyke's horror.
They quickly pulled Lucy off Brittany while yelling, "BREAK IT UP!"
Lucy, with her fists clenched, growled at Brittany as Principal Huggins held her back. Sensing her opportunity, Brittany flashed a smug look at Lucy before turning to Principal Huggins and sniffling, "S-she h-hurt me, Principal Huggins. A-a-after s-she h-helped me write a nice poem."
Lucy growled, "Stop. Lying. You stole my notebook. And don't forget, I have sisters. And they're not going to be happy when they found out what you did."
Mrs. Van Slyke and Principal Huggins gasped before Principal Huggins asked, "Brittany, is this true?"
Brittany stuttered, "Um, uh, no! I saw her drop her notebook! And I was going to give it back to her, I swear!" Brittany continued to sniffle, "I-I-I'm sorry, Lucy," before walking up to Lucy and whimpering, "Here. You can have my notebook if you want," before starting to cry again.
As the rest of the class comforted Brittany, Principal Huggins glared at Lucy, and spat, "My Office. NOW."
As Lucy walked out of the classroom with Principal Huggins, Brittany and the rest of Lucy's class sent her off by taunting, "What sisters are going to be there for you, now? Baldie, mud, and Lori BrownPants?!" The rest of the class, including Ms. Van Slyke, laughed hysterically as they began singing, "LUCY BROWNPANTS! LUCY BROWNPANTS! LUCY BROWNPANTS! LU-CY BROWN-PANTS!"
(Time Skip: 12:05 PM, Cafeteria)
As Royal Woods Elementary School's students settled into their seats to eat lunch, crossed conversations dominated the cafeteria.
First, as Lola walked through the cafeteria, she tried to smile and wave to her fellow beauty pageant competitors, only for them to glare at her. Lola immediately yelled at them, "I WORKED ON THESE CURLS ALL DAY!"
Winston, however, stepped in, and told the beauty princesses, "Excuse me, ladies."
The rest of the beauty princesses gave Winston polite smiles, which he returned. Lola stammered, "Buh… buh… W-Winston… what are you doing here?"
Winston replied, "Just wanted to take you away from this tacky cafeteria. My limo's out back, why don't we go get some good food? You know, you and me."
Lola gasped and shrieked, "A LIMO?!", before tightly gripping Winston's arm and pulling him away from the cafeteria as she urged Winston, "COME ON, LET'S GO!"
Winston chuckled, "Splendid!", before telling Lola, "But, you've got to calm down, first."
Lola beamed, "OK!"
As Lola walked arm-in-arm with Winston out of the cafeteria, she turned back to the rest of the beauty princesses and gave them a smug, toothy grin. The beauty princesses glared at Lola and Winston as they watched the couple walk out of the cafeteria.
As soon as Lola and Winston were out of sight, Janie whispered, "OK, good, she's gone."
The rest of the beauty princesses murmured and nodded in agreement. One of them, Roxanne, asked, "What about Lana?"
Julia pointed in Lana's direction and told Roxanne and the rest of her friends, "Turn around."
Lana was talking with her muddy friends when Skippy approached her, smiled, and waved, "Hey, Lana!"
Lana blushed before waving back, "Hi, Skippy!"
Skippy asked, "Listen, uh, you wanna talk… outside?"
Lana laughed, "You had me at outside! I'm in!"
Skippy chuckled, "Great!" As he led Lana away from the cafeteria, Lana asked Skippy, "So, where are we going? The playground? Ooh, I can't wait to try out that new mud pit!"
Skippy revealed, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the deaths of your pets." Lana frowned before Skippy started, "Look, I'm so, so sorry your pets had to die the way they did. That was awful."
Lana sniffled, "Yeah." She then cried, "But don't worry! Lisa and I have a plan to destroy Marcus Quick for everything he did to us?"
Skippy fake-gasped, "Marcus Quick did that to you?"
Lana growled, "Yeah. Ooh, that two-timing football star! I swear to God, if I get my hands on him…", before Skippy urged Lana, "Chill!"
Skippy then took a deep breath before revealing to Lana, "Look, that's the real reason I wanted to bring you to the principal's office. I thought about it, and I want to help you. And I know there'll be a lot of other people at this school willing to help you."
Lana sniffled, "Really?"
Skippy suggested, "Have you ever thought about starting an Anti-Marcus Quick club?"
Lana gasped, "An Anti-Marcus Quick club?!"
Skippy replied, "Yeah!", before asking Lana, "You know how you told me about you and Lisa doing everything you could to find Marcus Quick?"
Lana responded, "Yeah, what about it?"
Skippy pointed out, "If you guys got more people to help you, then maybe they could help you find Marcus Quick faster!"
Lana gasped in realization, "Wow! You're right, Skippy! And maybe I should ask the jocks! They practically worship Lynn, so if I tell them the story of how our pets got killed by Marcus Quick, they'd have to come around! Maybe they know his address, his schedule, the best times to find him and poison him!" She then hugged Skippy and cried, "Thanks, Skippy! You don't know how much this means to me!"
Skippy uncomfortably accepted Lana's hug and chuckled, "Heh-heh… let's go talk to Principal Huggins and tell him our idea."
Lana chirped, "Great!", before walking to Principal Huggins' office with Skippy to propose the Anti-Marcus Quick club idea.
Meanwhile, back in the cafeteria, Haiku told the rest of the Morticians Club, "Hmm… let's see. Lucy's getting lunch and after-school detention, she's the laughingstock of this school, and Lincoln appears to be safe. I think we did well."
The rest of the Morticians Club nodded in agreement before Boris asked, "Speaking of which, where is Lincoln? Usually, we see him around here with Clyde and the rest of their friends."
Haiku explained, "It's literally not safe for Clyde to be in the cafeteria. You know what'll happen: if he comes in here, every girl in the school will mob him, and we'll break another lunch table."
Persephone and Haiku dreamily sighed, "Wicked," as the boys of the Morticians Club groaned to themselves, "Great."
Haiku then informed the Morticians Club, "Now, I'm going to go meet with Principal Huggins and set the third phase of our plan into motion. Remember, if Lucy sees us, act normal."
The rest of the Morticians Club sighed in response before Morpheus sighed to Bertrand, "Do you really think Lucy deserves all this? I mean, she broke down crying when her Princess Pony secret was revealed."
Bertrand sighed, "This is what Lucy needed to bring her ego back down to earth. Look, we're doing this for her own good. Now, the rest is up to her."
The rest of the Morticians Club blankly replied, "Sigh."
As the rest of the students talked amongst themselves, Rusty pushed a door at the corner of the cafeteria open. Rusty walked into the cafeteria with a black eye, and he was holding an icepack over his jaw with his left hand. As Rusty attempted to keep his head up and walk through the cafeteria with whatever shreds of confidence he had left, many students suddenly stopped talking to glare at him. Many more exchanged hushed whispers amongst themselves.
As Rusty walked past the Cannonball Gang's table, he tried to smile and wave at them, only to be fulminated by their harsh glares.
When Girl Jordan saw Rusty, she whispered to Mollie, "Umm… I think I have to go to the bathroom."
Mollie nervously replied, "Uh… yeah… me, too."
Girl Jordan and Mollie jumped out of their seats and briskly walked away from the cafeteria.
Rusty tried to ask the Cannonball Gang, "What was that about?", only for Kat to smack her right fist against her left palm while Joy gave Rusty a throat-slitting gesture. Rusty gulped at the fury of the girls and quickly shuffled away from their table.
As Rusty continued to walk through the cafeteria, he gulped as he noticed many of the students' furious glares at him. Looking for a friendly face, Rusty spotted his old biker friends, Papa Wheelie and Flat Tire, and walked towards their table.
When Rusty tried to greet his biker friends, "Yo, what up, dawgs?", Flat Tire and Papa Wheelie crossed their arms and glared at the boy.
Rusty quickly sighed, "Fine," before scanning the room for Liam and Zach. But when Rusty noticed Liam and Zach sitting at a table filled with discarded foodstuffs, Rusty approached them and asked, "Umm… why are you guys sitting at the Sticky Table?"
Liam spat, "Why do ya think, doofus?!"
Zach concurred, "Yeah!"
Liam growled at Rusty, "And you don't sit here."
Rusty stammered, "Uh, okay. Where am I supposed to chill, though?"
Liam and Zach scowled at Rusty while pointing to the stickiest seat of the Sticky Table, on the other side of the Sticky Table from where they sat. That portion of the Sticky Table was filled with spilled soda, milk, and drink stains on both the desk and the seat and half-eaten gum. Candy wrappers, aluminum foil, and paper bags littered the floor as ants crawled underneath it in search of crumbs to eat for themselves.
Rusty, accepting his fate, sighed, "Fine," before walking away from Rusty and sitting down on the Sticky Table's stickiest seat. Unfortunately, when Rusty tried to lift his hand off his seat to open his backpack, he failed to do so, owing to the sheer stickiness of the seat. He grimaced before asking the cafeteria, "Uh… can somebody help me out over here? Please? Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"
The rest of the cafeteria maintained their glares at Rusty, with the Cannonball Gang even smugly smirking at him.
A bored Rusty nervously asked Liam and Zach, "So… dawgs… who's ready to pull up to Chandler's party?!"
Liam, Zach, and many of the other students at the cafeteria gave Rusty hard glares in response.
(Scene Change: First Floor Hallway)
Chandler was talking to his cronies, Todd and Matthew, when Girl Jordan and Mollie approached him.
Chandler suavely greeted them, "Hey, ladies, what's up?"
Mollie asked Chandler, "Ready to hand out the invitations?!"
Chandler smiled, "You bet! Just gotta give my boy, Todd, some time to set everything up. After that, we should be good to go!"
Girl Jordan chirped, "Great!" She and Mollie then stood a little away from Chandler before Girl Jordan texted Lindsay in the "It Wasn't Us" groupchat, "We're with Chandler. Should be ready in a couple of minutes. Ready when you are".
(Scene Change: Office)
When Lindsay received Girl Jordan's text, she replied, "Alright I'll set everything up".
Lindsay then texted Paige, "Make sure you have the lighting ready sis".
Paige replied, "I do".
Lindsay replied, "Great will set up the sound system".
Lindsay then hooked the AUX cord of the school's PA system to her phone. Thankfully for everyone involved, Lindsay had quick enough reflexes to press pause before the song she had chosen started autoplaying on the PA system.
As Lindsay turned off the PA system, she saw, out of the corner of her eye, Principal Huggins praising Lucy, "Thank you for helping me out this morning." He then told Lucy, "As a token of my appreciation, here's a signed copy of my comic."
When Principal Huggins handed a copy of Lincoln's comic to Lucy, she gasped in astonishment. Lucy stammered, "I-i-it's incredible."
Prinicpal Huggins smirked, "I know. I gave it to Bill Buck for the Ace Savvy contest. It'll be made into a real comic, I'll get to meet Bill Buck, and I'll finally live out my childhood dream!" He then squealed before ruffling Lucy's hair and telling her, "I knew I could count on you. You know, I was going to suspend you for that fight you had with Brittany Kellinger, but you did a big favor for me today. In return, I'll only give you after-school detention, and I won't notify your parents."
Lucy gasped, "Sigh. Thanks-", before Principal Huggins cut her off, "But, if I ever catch you fighting again, bullying or not, I will suspend you."
Lucy responded, "Sigh. I knew that was coming."
Cheryl then stepped into the room and chirped, "Principal Huggins, Hildegard Matthews is here to see you!"
Principal Huggins softly groaned before gently telling Lucy, "Now, run along."
As Principal Huggins walked to his office to meet with Haiku, Lucy looked at the cover of Lincoln's comic and gasped at what she saw. She and her sisters were depicted as a ten-headed beast, while Lincoln, Clyde, and some of the Loud sisters' friends had formed a sort of superheroes' alliance fighting against them.
As Lucy saw the depictions of her, her sisters, and their friends in Lincoln's comic, she sighed to herself, "If only we could fight alongside Lincoln, too." She then asked herself, "But why would Principal Huggins draw us as villains and Lincoln as a hero? Most of his allies look like Lori and Leni's friends. Sigh, guess I'll have to figure that one out," before leaving the office.
Lindsay, who saw the interaction between Lucy and Principal Huggins but couldn't hear all of it, seethed at Lucy. Lindsay's rage at Lucy motivated her to text Lincoln and Clyde, "U ready boys?"
(Scene Change: First Floor Boys' Bathroom)
Lincoln and Clyde texted Lindsay back, "Yup", to which Lindsay replied, "Perfect".
Lincoln, now clad in his traditional "cool kid" look of slicked back hair, black shades with a red trim, an open black leather jacket over a yellow shirt, and ripped blue jeans, then pulled out his microphone out of his backpack, turned it on, and asked Clyde, "Yo, you ready, Mistah Boombastic?"
Clyde, who was wearing a Toronto Blue Jays fitted hat, a black Toronto Raptors starter jacket with purple and red trim over a white T-shirt with a gold necklace, black Roots sweat pants, and black Yeezy 350 shoes, replied into his microphone, "Ya dunnoe, fam."
Lincoln then received a text from Girl Jordan that read, "Chandler and his boys are set up. We're ready when you are."
Lincoln showed the text to Clyde, who chuckled, "Jheez! Sayin mans comin thru!"
Lincoln laughed as he and Clyde set course for the cafeteria. As they walked away from the bathroom, they made sure to keep their microphones off until they arrived in the cafeteria.
(Scene Change: First Floor Hallway)
Girl Jordan and Mollie were leading Chandler, Todd, and Matthew to the Royal Woods cafeteria.
Girl Jordan smiled, "Thanks for giving us the first invitations, Chandler!"
Mollie concurred, "Yeah!"
Chandler assured the girls, "Hey, what are friends for? You scratch my back, I scratch yours!"
Girl Jordan and Mollie chirped, "Definitely!"
Girl Jordan then texted Lincoln and Clyde, "Almost at cafeteria".
(Scene Change: Near Back Entrance of Cafeteria)
On the other side of Royal Woods Elementary School's first floor hallway, Lincoln replied, "Alright, we're almost there, too. Just on the other side of the cafeteria from you guys."
Lincoln and Clyde looked through the door. When they saw Girl Jordan, Mollie, and Chandler's cronies on the other side, Lincoln gave Girl Jordan and Mollie a thumbs-up, and Girl Jordan and Mollie responded in kind.
Lincoln and Clyde then quickly hid against the wall immediately adjacent to the cafeteria door so as to not be seen, and did one last mic check.
Lincoln said into his microphone, "Testing," which could be heard clearly.
Clyde then said, "Testing," into his microphone, which could also be heard clearly.
Lincoln took a deep breath before assuring Clyde, "Alright, we're ready."
Clyde smiled, "Say less, fam."
After Lincoln and Clyde did their mic checks, Girl Jordan and Mollie walked into the cafeteria and turned out the lights. As Todd and Matthew walked into the cafeteria, Mollie texted Lindsay, Paige, Girl Jordan, Lincoln, Clyde, and Skippy in the "It Wasn't Us" groupchat, "Now".
When Lincoln and Clyde saw Mollie's text, they nodded.
Todd, carrying an enormous boombox over his shoulder, pressed play, only to notice no sound coming out of the radio. He uttered to Matthew, "Uh… dude… the radio's not working."
Matthew gasped, "The radio's not working?! What do you mean, the radio's not working?"
Todd begged Matthew, "I don't know. I'll try to fix it," but at that very moment, Chandler slammed the cafeteria doors open and proclaimed, "Put on your-", before being interrupted by a Caribbean-sounding electric guitar blasting through the PA system.
The rest of the students looked up at the PA system in confusion. Matthew groaned, "Ugh, finally."
Todd told Matt, "Uhh… that wasn't me."
Meanwhile, outside the cafeteria, Lincoln and Clyde began the opening conversation that went with the song's instrumental.
Lincoln fearfully said into his microphone, "Yo, man."
Clyde said into his microphone, "Yo."
Lincoln cried, "Open up, man!"
Clyde asked Lincoln, "Yo, what you want man?"
Lincoln told Clyde, "My girl just caught me," causing the rest of the cafeteria to gasp.
Clyde's response, "You let her catch you?!", shocked the rest of the cafeteria.
By the time Lincoln regretfully told Clyde, "I don't know how I let this happen!", the rest of the students in the cafeteria had their jaws dropped at the apparent conversation going on between Lincoln and Clyde.
Clyde asked, "With who?!"
Lincoln replied, "The girl next door, you know."
Clyde sighed, "Man," to which Lincoln fretted, "I don't know what to do!"
Clyde suggested, "Say it wasn't you."
Lincoln then slammed the door open and sang into his microphone, "Alright." As the beat dropped, the spotlight's shine suddenly turned to Lincoln as he sang the first lines of the first rendition of the song's chorus:
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creepin' with the girl next door
As Lincoln continued to sing, the jaws of every student in the cafeteria dropped:
Picture this, we were both butt naked
Bangin' on the bathroom floor
An overwhelmed Liam sniffled to Zach, "Did you know he had the voice of an angel?", as he listened to Lincoln sing the chorus:
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key?
Some students started to cheer, "Wow!", or, "Unbelievable!", as Lincoln continued to sing.
All this time she was standin' there
She never took her eyes off me
By now, some of the girls began to scream, "WOO!"
A stunned Chandler tried to ask Todd, Matthew, Girl Jordan, and Mollie, "What is happening?"
However, when Clyde entered the cafeteria and began to approach Lincoln, he was drowned out by the loud squealing and shrieking of every girl in school as he began to sing his first verse:
How ya fi give the woman access to your villa?
Trespasser and a witness, all the hacklin' a yuh pillow
Every girl in the cafeteria ran towards Lincoln and Clyde while screaming at the top of their lungs, leaving Royal Woods Elementary School's bewildered boys in both figurative and literal dust. Clyde, however, paid no mind to the crowd, even as they drowned him out while he sang the rest of the first verse:
You betta watch your back before she turn into a killa
Best review the situation that you caught up inna
To be a true player, you haffi know how fi play
If she say, "A night," convince her, say, "A day"
Never admit to a word weh she say
And if she claim a yuh, tell her, "Baby, no way!"
By the end of Clyde's first verse, all of the girls, and most of the boys, were giddily clapping along to Lincoln and Clyde's song. The vast majority of Royal Woods Elementary School's students, including Girl Jordan and Mollie, had surrounded Lincoln and Clyde, and were hanging on their every word as they alternated singing the pre-chorus. For every excuse Lincoln sang, Clyde replied, "Wasn't me":
But she caught me on the counter (Wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (Wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (Wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (Wasn't me)
Halfway into the first rendition of the pre-chorus, some of the students began chanting, "Wasn't me" alongside Clyde as Lincoln and Clyde continued to sing:
She saw the marks on my shoulder (Wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (Wasn't me)
Heard the screams gettin' louder (Wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over
The girls then began to cry tears of joy, squeal, shriek, swoon, and fan themselves as Lincoln sang the second rendition of the chorus:
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creepin' with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked
Bangin' on the bathroom floor
As Rusty watched the girls swoon over Lincoln and Clyde's performance, he crossed his arms, and huffed in envy:
I had tried to keep her from what
She was about to see
Why should she believe me
When I told her it wasn't me?
The cafeteria erupted in deafening cheers when Clyde sang the first two lines of the second verse:
Mek she know say that she really no have right fi vex
A never you she see yah make the gigolo flex
As Rusty seethed at Lincoln and Clyde, he smirked evilly as a wicked idea came to his head. As Clyde finished singing the second verse of the song, Rusty struggled to pull himself off his gum and soda stain-encrusted seat. When Rusty finally managed to stand up, he walked to Chandler, Matthew, and Todd, and told them, "Come on. Let's go":
A smaddy else weh favor you inna di complex
Seein' is believin', so you betta change your specs
You know she a go bring a whole heap a tings up from the past
All the likkle evidence, you betta know fi mask
Quick 'pon yuh answer, know how fi talk
But if she pack a gun, you know you betta run fast
As Lincoln started to sing the second rendition of the pre-chorus, Chandler scoffed at Rusty, "As if, Fraud Marley. Why would I follow you?":
But she caught me on the counter (Wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (Wasn't me)
When Chandler, Rusty, Matthew, and Todd heard the girls screaming at the top of their lungs, "Wasn't Me!", whenever Clyde cued for them to do so, Rusty yelled, "Listen to them!":
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (Wa-wasn't me)
After turning around and watching all the cafeteria's students, including Girl Jordan and Mollie, excitedly dance to Lincoln Lame and Rasta Clyde's song, Chandler sighed to Rusty, "Fine, you win. What are we going to do?":
She saw the marks on my shoulder (Wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (Wasn't me)
Heard the screams gettin' louder (Wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over
Rusty promised Chandler, "I have a plan."
In response, Chandler nodded to his goons. When Chandler's goons nodded back, Rusty urged them, "Come on!"
With that, they followed Rusty out of the nearest cafeteria door as Lincoln sang another rendition of the song's chorus:
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creepin' with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked
Bangin' on the bathroom floor
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key?
Back in the corner of the cafeteria, Royal Woods Elementary School's student body was happily clapping along to Lincoln's singing:
All this time she was standin' there
She never took her eyes off me
As Lincoln started to sing the bridge, he took Paige's hand and pulled her towards him to make it look like he was personally singing to her.: In response, Paige's pupils dilated and her eyes watered as she swooned before blissfully fainting into Cristina, Kat, and Lindsay's arms. The rest of the girls screamed Lincoln's name ballistically as he sang the bridge:
Gonna tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused
I've been listenin' to your reasonin', it makes no sense at all
Need to tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player, but you're completely lost
That's why I sing
As Lincoln sang the opening lines of the chorus' final rendition, Principal Huggins slammed the door open with a scowl on his face as he stomped towards Lincoln and Clyde:
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creepin' with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked
Bangin' on the bathroom floor
The crowd, who now saw Principal Huggins moving towards them, gasped in shock and noticeably quieted and tensed up as Lincoln finished singing the chorus:
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key?
All this time she was standin' there
She never took her eyes off me
After Lincoln sang the song's last "me," Principal Huggins shoved his way through the crowd of now-nervous elementary school students. Clyde yelled, "Jah, mon! We ah do this ting every day, ya dunnoe-", before being cut off when Principal Huggins smacked Clyde's microphone out of his hands. After swatting Lincoln's microphone out of his hands and onto the floor, the rest of Royal Woods Elementary School's students let out another horrified gasp.
Principal Huggins then pointed at his secretary, Cheryl, to turn on the lights, revealing his enraged face to Lincoln and Clyde. Principal Huggins, now standing over them, yelled at them, "MY OFFICE! NOW!"
The rest of the students in the cafeteria groaned and glared harshly at Principal Huggins. Girl Jordan started chanting, "Free Lincoln! Free Clyde! Free Lincoln! Free Clyde!"
Mollie joined in, followed by Joy, Sadie, and Irene. Haiku and the Morticians' Club joined in next, only to be followed up by Giggles, Tabby, Polly Pain, and their friends. Before long, the entire school loudly chanted, "FREE LINCOLN! FREE CLYDE! FREE LINCOLN! FREE CLYDE!"
As Principal Huggins led Lincoln and Clyde away and heard his students' protests, he turned around and threatened them, "If I or any of your teachers hear one more mention of Lincoln Loud or Clyde McBride in this cafeteria, RECESS WILL BE CANCELLED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!"
The rest of the students gasped at Principal Huggins' threat and quickly stopped chanting Lincoln and Clyde's names.
When Principal Huggins finally led Lincoln and Clyde away from the cafeteria, he snarled at them, "You two are in big trouble."
As Principal Huggins led Lincoln and Clyde to his office, neither Lincoln or Clyde noticed Rusty, Chandler, Matthew, and Todd crossing their arms and smirking at them. Once Lincoln and Clyde were out of earshot, Rusty smirked, "Yeah. Big trouble."
Chandler snarled, "Another detention for Larry Lame and his butt-buddy!" He then motioned to Rusty, Matthew, and Todd to huddle. Once the four boys huddled together, Matthew asked, "So, what are we going to do now?"
Chandler explained, "Simple. With Larry Lame and Chode McSuperDork out of the way, we just do this again tomorrow."
Todd asked Chandler, "Are you sure? I mean, I had to beg my mom to borrow her boombox today, and I'd be lucky to get it again tomorrow."
Chandler reassured Todd, "Chill, dude. Look, we'll talk to your mom again tonight, tell them what happened, and she'll be sure to let us have it for one more day!"
Todd replied, "I-I don't know, Chandler. I mean, that boombox is precious to her, and-", before Chandler cut him off, "Do you want to throw an epic sewage party or not?"
Todd sighed, "Fine, Chandler, you win."
Chandler smirked, "Glad you see it my way." He then commanded, "Rusty, go keep a lookout on those two gay losers."
Rusty started, "But-", before Chandler cut him off by scowling, "You don't have any right to talk after what you did, red. You're lucky I'm even talking to you at this point. Now, go and keep an eye on those faggots. Unless you want half the school to jump you again. Not that we don't mind, but-", making Rusty beg Chandler, "OK, OK! I'll do it! Jeez!"
Chandler smirked at Rusty, "Pleasure doing business with ya," before he, Matthew, and Todd walked off. In response, Rusty sighed before scurrying towards Principal Huggins' office, trying to remain as unseen as possible.
Closing A/N: I know it took me long to get this next chapter out, but I had some minor tweaks I wanted to make to this fic, I was going back and forth, and I had some life stuff going on. So, basically, I cleaned up Chapters 1 and 4. In Chapter 1, I decided to have Lucy try to bring up the tracking chip on the ride home from Huron Beach, only to be shot down by her family, who thinks she just wants to talk about how Vanzilla will break down. I also wanted to clear up the discrepancy between the Sweetwaters' van and Vanzilla returning to Royal Woods by showing a scene where Vanzilla actually breaks down. As for Chapter 4, I decided to have the sisters also visibly tease Lincoln before being cut off by the first appearance of Cool Clyde. They don't try to stuff him in the squirrel suit because at that time, they don't have a backup squirrel suit.
A/N 2: The song Lincoln and Clyde sang was the Shaggy classic, "It Wasn't Me." I figured it would be perfect to establish both Clyde's character and Lincoln's angelic singing voice, which is featured in the canon episode, "Flying Solo." Lincoln sings RikRok's parts, and Clyde sings Shaggy's parts.
A/N 3: So what happened here was that Saccharine suggested that I do a sort of "Pulp Friction" plot with Lincoln's comic. This chapter, as well as the next one, will basically be a combination of this AU's "Pulp Friction" and Lucy's humiliation.
A/N 4: Lucy's humiliation seems unoriginal, but it was the most obvious one I could come up with, and the simplest to do, as her being a Princess Pony fan totally contradicts her gothic persona.
A/N 5: Ms. Van Slyke is meant to be Tarreyn Van Slyke from the "Rocket Men" episode.
A/N 6: Brittany's reading of Lucy's poetry book was inspired by the Total Drama Island scene where Heather read Gwen's diary out loud to the entire world in the talent show episode.
A/N 7: For Lincoln and Clyde's "It Wasn't Me" duet, I was inspired by Max's performance of "Stand Out" from A Goofy Movie. Plus, I'd kind of always pictured the two singing, "It Wasn't Me," and that image was funny in my mind, so I decided to put it here as how they get in trouble. I know it seems like a fun little diversion, but don't worry, this will be important.
A/N 8: I decided to have Rusty and Chandler work together to snitch on Lincoln out of spite. Sometimes, if you and your enemy have a common enemy, you can work together to hurt that common enemy, and I wanted to show that here.
A/N 9: Hildegard Matthews is Haiku's real name in "A Day in the Life of the Gal Pals." Decided to use it here.
What will happen to Lincoln and Clyde now that they're in hot water with Principal Huggins? Will Rusty's reputation ever recover? And what will become of Lucy? Find out next chapter on… REVERSAL! OF! FORTUNE!