I'd Do It All Again

by WitchKnight

Garrett Hawke has always alienated himself from normal civilization after fifteen long years. Trained as a killer by an underground mob boss, Garrett soon discovers that there is more to his life than just killing. New people in his life, new friends and challenges. Will he be able to meet the expectations? Or will his sinister nature take control of his world?

10. New Years' Gathering

"You think you'll be ready, Garrett?" Isabela asked, resting her hand on mine as we headed back towards Aveline's flat. I wanted to properly get ready, as well as feed Odin before we'd go out. I know I had to bring Odin with me, but I felt so guilty having to drag him along everywhere, and he seemed beyond exhausted. I looked at Isabela as if she could give me helpful advice, and she gestured towards Odin again.

"Garrett, you need to bring Odin. After what happened today I don't think it's a good idea to leave him behind."

"I know you're right, but it's cruel to constantly have to drag him around with me, especially in the cold like this." The giant mabari sidles up to me and rubs his head against my hand. His giant brown eyes definitely showed a bit of exhaustion, but still a stout resolve to see things through.

I knelt down and wrapped my arms around him. "Alright. I'll bring you along, but you can nap on the drive there.. You won't be much help if you're too tired to notice the signs" I looked back up at Isabela.

"Would you be willing to be my anchor for the evening? Just in case Odin can't catch it soon … Is that alright with you?" As I stood up, Isabela smiled.

"Normally I wouldn't agree to holding someone down… but… I just so happen to enjoy the company of such a man." She playfully punched my arm and laughed. "And I won't mention any of the incidents to Aveline. Last thing you need is mother dearest keeping an even closer eye on you."

"I mean, you're not wrong. And I don't need to be monitored like a criminal. Nor does she need to be aware of anything else." I decided to change into some new clothes, fix my hair up and put on a bit of cologne. I feel like I'm going on a date.

"You look marvelous." Isabela handed me my jacket and, once I pulled it on, decided to tidy up the front and fix it. Kind of like what you see in the movies. I think.

I let Odin out, and that took a bit before he was harnessed up and leashed. I'll have to get him some sort of coat for the winter. Locking up behind me, I offered Isabela my arm and she took it so together we headed down to her car. Already I felt a small wave of anxiety peck at my heart as we settled in the car.. She put on the usual tunes before we pulled out onto the road. Odin sat happily in the back. Not even a few minutes into the drive I heard the exhausted hound snoring.

My phone buzzed angrily in my pocket. As I get it out, Aveline's name appears in bright letters on the screen..

Aveline (6:20pm): Hope you and Isabela were having fun. You better show up tonight.

Aveline (6:56pm): Don't you dare ignore me Garrett.

One missed call.

Aveline (7:25pm): Are you two on your way or am I going to have to get you both myself?

Aveline (7:30pm): Let me know when you arrive.

I let out an annoyed sigh and glanced over at Isabela, she ignored me so I sent a response.

Hawke (7:40pm): We are on our way. Just had to get changed and let Odin out. He's coming with us.

Aveline (7:41pm): Good. See you soon. Drive safe.

Hawke (7:41pm): Thanks mom.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and, again, give an annoyed groan.

"Who does she think she is? I'm almost thirty, I don't need babysitting."

"She's just like that. Was like that with me and Merrill too when we first met. She'll lay off in time." She patted my thigh without taking her eyes off the road..

I let myself drift off into a sort of half daydream as we drive. Staring ardently at the city lights as it all passed by. The roads glittered rather beautifully with the snow along the roadway and on the sidewalks. The trees here and there were still decorated with holiday lights, even the streetlights and lamps were in similar fashion along with garlands stringing some of them together. There were so many people out and about, and traffic had been redirected since the city Square was filled with revelers preparing for whatever New Year's brought about. I was pretty glad that we weren't going to be hanging out there.

Absently, I reached over to Isabela and gently grabbed her wrist. She let her hand drop from the wheel and rested it on mine. I continued to stare out the window but gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Nervous?" she already knew the answer, but I think she just needed to prompt me to respond, so I just mumbled "uh huh".

"It might be a bit busy in the Pub, but we should be fine."

"I believe in you." She squeezed my hand again in return.

Thank you…

The sun had near finished its descent past the horizon and though we were far from a rural area, you could sort of make out where the moon was in the sky. And it was pretty clear out. Unfortunately, the city lights made it quite difficult to see any sort of stars. It was far different than living in Ferelden. At least near the Brecilian forest… I remembered the night I escaped and got hopelessly lost in the forest.. It hadn't been so long ago that it happened, so the scars still were fresh. But I remembered the night sky, and the stars. I remembered the moon…

And I remembered him.

"Isabela…" I said softly, as I looked over at her.

"Yes?"

"..." I shrugged and gave her hand another squeeze. "You're quite beautiful. And I do mean it."

"Absolute charmer, you." She squeezed my hand in return with a giggle.

A loud buzzing sound startled the ever loving shit out of me and I flinched in my seat. It isn't my phone ringing…

"Can you get that?" She asked, gesturing towards her phone. I looked at the name and it read "Mary", I raised a brow in question. "Probably asking why we're running late, so just answer it."

"Very well." It took me a second to figure her phone out, I was still a bit inept with my fat fingers on these damn touch screens, but I hit the button and answered.

"Hello?"

"Oh, uh, sorry is this the right number?" A woman's voice was on the other end, one I haven't heard before. She seemed to pull away from the phone to ask someone a question.

"Should be, it's the same one in my phone." I could barely make out the other person's voice, but I sort of recognized it as Varric.

"Sorry, uh–" the woman returned to the phone. "Is Isabela there?"

I looked towards Isabela, but I think she was deliberately ignoring me to make me answer it for her. There's a little smirk on her face.

"Yes, she's in the car with me, the one driving anyway, er."

"Oh! I didn't know she was bringing someone with her– are you her boyfriend or something?"

"What–I uh, n-no I'm not. I'm just a friend."

"Uh-huh, that's what they all say– anyway can I talk to her really quick?"

I blushed and Isabela snickered next to me and gestured to the phone. "Alright, put her on speaker."

I glanced down at the phone and pushed the little icon and held it out towards Isabela.

"Hey, darling~ We're almost there, just had to make a stop so he could take his dog out– and I mean actual dog, before you get any ideas in that head of yours. We'll be there in about ten minutes or so~." She winked at me. "I can't wait to introduce my new boy toy to you~"

"Isabela!" I blushed again and she cackled.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding, but anyway Mary, I think you'll really like him."

I heard someone giggling on the other end after she called me a 'boy toy' and I rolled my eyes. There were several other voices I could hear among the dull roar of the, probably incredibly busy, pub. One of which stood out among the others; a deep baritone voice that gave out a boisterous bark of a laugh, followed by a few others that I didn't recognize. Avvar seems to already be there.

Sigh… yet more people to subject myself to. Maker, please let me maintain my composure tonight.

"I look forward to meeting him– and seeing you after so long! Anyway, focus on driving, missy, we'll be waiting~" With that, the line goes dead and I set her phone back down.

"Boy toy?" I glared at her. I will remember this…

"It's just a joke, I promise." She patted my arm but I pulled away from her "I told you, I have a reputation to maintain." We stop at a red light and she looks at me with a softness in her eyes. "It sounds like there's going to be more people around than I thought. Do you think you'll be alright?"

I shrugged then turned my attention back to the window and the buildings that we pass.

"With Odin being here, it shouldn't be too hard. So I'll certainly have to try. Just promise you'll be a little more tame if you insist on throwing yourself on me?" I hesitated, but soon rested my hand on the center console, palm up. She rested hers in mine and smiled. I didn't know what it is about her that brought me comfort, but I trusted her well enough, and I didn't think I could handle being all by myself in an unfamiliar place..

I still didn't believe any of this was even real. That an officer, the captain no less, was willing to harbor me while being aware of what my situation was and even more willing to… try to help me be better? It seemed far too good to be true, and I prayed to the Maker and His Bride that this arrangement wouldn't bite me in the ass. Isabela had been unusually good for my mind too, despite the short time we've been together, I'd even thought physical intimacy would cause me nothing but discomfort but even then, I didn't feel unclean or taken advantage of… at least until the 'boy toy' comment.

Everyone had been so kind to me even though I was just some bloke that came off the streets. They didn't know me, yet they wanted to help me…

I'm not sure I deserved this level of kindness.

Isabela squeezed my hand. "I promise to go easy on you, tiger."

I hummed in response and let my gaze drop, but gave her hand another gentle squeeze. She'll be my anchor for tonight alongside Odin, and afterwards I shouldn't continue to impose on her like this. The rest of the drive passed in a nervous silence, still holding one another's' hand until we had driven down a longer roadway. The buildings along the road were just as decorated as the rest of the city, but even more so with smaller buildings and shapes of varying things like reindeer, sleighs, snowflakes, even a snowman or two. There had to have been at least three christmas trees glowing in shop windows along the way.

"That was Marian, by the way." Isabela said after we passed another intersection.. "I think you'll like her."

I don't acknowledge what she says, but I was getting nervous. A bit more than nervous. Okay, a lot more nervous. If I remembered correctly, then Marian was the woman in those photos Isabela showed me from that wedding… my thoughts fell back to the images of the older man that looked almost exactly as I did.

What if they're right…? My heart raced at the very idea. What if Dan had been lying to me this entire time…? No, that's impossible. I shook my head and stared at the window with more intent to distract myself, staring at whatever building light caught my eyes.

My family is dead. It has to be a coincidence… It has to be…

"Garrett?" Isabela's voice. Her warm lips to my knuckles. "Hey." A hand turns my head to face her, and she smiles. I hadn't realized that we were parked. But she had waited for me. My eyes flick down to her lips, and I give her a weak smile in return. It had started to snow. She releases my face and we get out of the car. I look around. The outside of this place was rather well decorated too. String lights all around of varying colours, the pubs' sign itself was of a man hung upside-down by his ankle with a flagon of ale upright in his hand.

The Hanged Man. I wonder why it was called that.

"It's gonna be cold." Isabela said gently, releasing my face and undoing her seatbelt. I do the same while mentally preparing myself for the inevitable large crowds that probably take up these sort of places. Exiting the vehicle, I damn near slipped on a patch of ice just as my heel caught it.

"Oh Maker, be careful." I warned her, now conscious that I could very well eat asphalt if I slipped proper. Waking Odin was an absolute pain in the butt. But he, too, bumbled out of the car into the cold. There were a few groups of people outside, several of which were smoking. I grabbed Isabela's wrist and gently pulled her back towards me. "Izzy." I said quietly. "I-If things do go wrong, I may just hide outside for a bit, maybe hang out near your car or something if I have to." She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed then, when releasing me, grabbed my face with both of her hands.

"A kiss for good luck? So the nerves are soothed and the night keeps merry." I leaned down and kissed her rather firmly., wrapping an arm around her. She giggled when she pulled away, but pulled me down into another, more intent kiss, and booped my nose as she pulled away. She rested her hands on my chest and smiled warmly up at me. Kissing her was nice… Warm and inviting… Why do I keep allowing myself to do this?

"For good luck." I repeated, leaning in and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I don't think there are enough ways that I can thank you for all of this you've done."

"Don't thank me just yet, it's only been a few days," she patted my face. "But I'll do what I can to help you out, I promise you that. Now enough dilly-dallying. We got some new friends to meeeet~" Her voice vibrated in song as she pulled away, yanking my wrist along with her. She was very very eager.

"Wait wait wait, Isabela." I pulled out of her grip and glanced up at the pub anxiously. "D'you mind if I linger here to have a smoke before I go in? I… I'll be in after a bit, promise."

She didn't say anything but reached up and patted my face again. A wink, and she headed on in.

I pulled out the aforementioned package and took a cigarette out. I spared a moment to look around again before I lit it, then moved into a position nearer the door where, thankfully, no one was lingering. As Isabela shoved the doors open, I heard her shout in possibly the loudest I've heard her yet.

"WHAT'S UP BITCHES!? THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED!" A chorus of cheers rang out just before the door closed and I rolled my eyes. She sure has that sort of personality. I found myself absently smiling as I took a long pull from the cigarette. Odin relaxed against my leg, and playfully rubbed his face against my thigh. Towards the sky, my gaze fell once more and to the moon, the smile remained. I didn't even feel the cold anymore. Just calm. The voices to my left and right seemed to fade away into the cold December night as the wind carried lost smoke away. Absently, I reached for the cord around my neck and pulled free the amulet. The metallic dragon's head felt unnaturally warm beneath my fingers, so I clasped it in my hand and held it close to my chest. I could feel her presence.

Watching me. Would she be proud of me if I succeeded?

Please, goddess, hear my prayer… Please let the world be kind for now. I know my mission, but I cannot make the first step without first finding my footing. Soon, I will fulfill my promise to you.

I took a long drag from the cigarette, the hot smoke filling my lungs. For once it didn't burn, but felt unusually warm and forgiving before it was released back into the wind. I went for another drag but the damn thing was already gone. Frustrated, I drop the butt to the ground and snuff it with my boot.

"Hey!" Isabela's head popped out of the doorway, I jumped in fright and let out a very unmanly sound.

"Maker's breath don't do that!" I pressed my back against the wall and clutched my chest. "Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack." I stowed the amulet back beneath my shirt as she poked her entire upper body out further, her coat missing and an eager look in her eyes.

"Not sorry, hurry up Mary really wants to meet you, and she brought a very sexy man with her~"

"Anders isn't that attractive." I said automatically.

"No no, not him, just come inside and meet him!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside the building.

"Alright alright! I'm comin'." like a flame, the warmth from inside the Pub hit me, and all around I certainly saw why people liked this place so much. High ceilings and a second story balcony, hanging candelabra made from antlers with faux candles. Booths, a roaring hearth, and otherwise an atmosphere that made me think of an old medieval tavern but with a modern flair. I felt eyes on me from patrons as I nearly trip over one or two of them just short after ducking under the doorway.

My wandering gaze went to each booth covered in a nice green leather– and honestly this establishment seemed almost too high tier to be in the location it was in. Perhaps the food and drink here was more accessible to the common person, but still good enough that it kept people coming back. That or the atmosphere was wonderfully calming. Who knows?

"Isabela, easy!" I pulled out of her grasp again and gave a rather nervous sound.

"Well look who's here!" Varric leaped up onto the table with a flagon raised. "Finally decided to show up, did we?" The other patrons at the table had quickly pulled their plates and drinks away as the dwarf stood aloft.

I decided to have a bit of fun. "I'd have gotten lost on the way if Isabela hadn't been the one driving." I smirked with my hands in my coat pockets. Odin wandered in and shook himself free of snowflakes, relieved with the warmth.

Maker, it was already super hot in here.

"Sorry, are dogs allowed?" I asked immediately.

"Service dogs, yes." Varric responds. "You're good, Hawke."

Among the table was the rest of the crew. Aveline, with a surprisingly delighted look on her face. Glad she wasn't pissed at me for staying out of the house. Merrill was deep into a cup of tea, by the looks of it. I didn't think she was old enough to drink. Certainly didn't look like it. Varric finally hopped back down rather dramatically and gracefully into his chair without spilling a drop of his precariously filled flagon. Next to Merrill was Eris, who was also nursing a flagon, but by the gentle sway of her body, it had to be ale. As soon as Merrill saw me, she hopped up from her chair and tapped Eris on the shoulder, the tipsy elf stood up and they both hurried over to me.

"Glad you could make it, Hawke." Merrill beamed, and Eris nodded in agreement. Both women grabbed my arms and dragged me towards the tables where the others were chatting.

Isabela slipped away from my side and wrapped her arms around a young dwarven woman's shoulders with a kiss to her temple.

Next to her was Anders, who looked up at me and scowled..

"Well now, Anders. How's your nose?" I smirked as I approached the group

"Healed up well, no thanks to you." The doctor rubbed his face.

"At least it was a clean break." I shrugged. "Sorry about that, though."

Anders waved me off and resumed conversing with some other man in the booth behind him.

A loud, boisterous laugh startled me along with the two elves as a huge Qunari appeared from out of fucking nowhere and grabbed Isabela up into his arms in a hug. It was the same one from earlier at the cafe…

Avvar.

She squealed in delight and playfully kicked her legs with a laugh. He towered over her, and pretty much everyone else in the Pub. Grey skin, large curved horns kind of like an ox (though I know better than to ever call a Qunari as such), alongside long white hair he had tied and braided. Avvar grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips, and she grabbed his face to return it.

Well, I guess her reputation precedes her. I thought bitterly. Perhaps a bit jealous, I was. Perhaps. Okay, maybe quite a bit jealous. Maybe I really was just another body to her count… The idea of it hurt my heart, and it sank just a little.

Isabela then waves me over.

"Isabela has been talking you up quite a bit." Eris said.

"I hope she didn't say anything too rude."

Avvar set Isabela down and looked me over, a wide grin plastered to his face. "I know we already met before but damn you are a fine specimen of a man if I ever saw one."

My face went hot immediately and I quickly glanced around the room nervously. The Qunari laughed and approached with a hand extended.

Holy shit he has claws.

I hesitated, my heart raced, then I took his hand with a very firm grip.

"It's good to properly meet you, Avvar. Didn't have much of a chance to speak at the cafe. Hope she didn't make up too much bullshit about me."

I could see a light in his eyes as he looked at me over again. He was even taller than I was. And I'm pretty damn tall. When he let my hand go, he took a seat after glancing back towards another part of the Pub.

"Where's Mary?" Isabela asked. "Did she go to the bathroom?"

"That and said she was gonna get a drink or two. Y'know that whole thing she does every year."

Isabela's smile faded a little at that, and turned around to follow his gaze.

"What? Is she an alcoholic or something?" I asked innocently. Avvar gave me a look of disapproval and shook his head.

"We don't really talk about it, but she always has a few too many drinks when we go out, like she's trying to drink for more than just herself.

Well that's a little pathetic. I nodded. "Poor thing."

"Well I hope she doesn't take it too far. That can't be-" I stopped short as a weird sensation took hold of my mind. A familiar tingling sensation in the back of my mind and a sudden sense of sorrow emanated from where the two had been looking. I blinked nervously and followed their gaze.

"Hawke, are you alright?"

"Huh? Yeah. I'm fine."

"Well then take your coat off and have a seat. We got some celebrating to do!" Avvar grabbed a large stein from the table and held it up for a toast. I saw the others do the same as I shimmied my jacket off and hung it over the back of an empty seat. I had a clear view of the bar where I could vaguely make out the flash of white hair before my attention was stolen back to the group as a drink was shoved in my hand.

I had been about to sit down when a glass dropped and our attention fell towards the bar as a tall woman with sun-kissed skin, raven black hair and icy blue eyes stood at the threshold between the bar and main room with a puddle at her feet alongside a broken glass. Her eyes were locked on me, her mouth open ever slightly. Wide eyed as if she had seen a ghost. As our eyes met, I felt that same familiar tingling sensation, this time far more powerful and disturbingly comfortable. Like a long awaited embrace from ages past. Her hand dropped to her side and she just stood there for some time.

"Marian? Are you alright, beloved?" Anders hurried to his feet to check on her, but as he approached her, she shouldered past him and hurried towards me. Odin, sensing something wrong with me, immediately got to his feet and snarled at her. A deep and low growl that even made others glance in our direction. The woman halted in her tracks and took a step back, her eyes flicked between myself and my dog.

"Odin! Não, para baixo!" (Odin! No, down!) I commanded the hound. "Ela não parece ser uma pessoa má." (She doesn't seem like a bad person.) Odin huffed at her with annoyance and relented, slowly turning back towards me and settled at my feet. He was in full guard dog mode and his whole demeanor gave off that scary warhound feeling. Now, she approached, more warily, but all the same, she stopped in front of me

"It can't be…" she said under a whispered breath. She reached up towards me and, without really thinking, let her cup my face in both hands.. Tears trailed down her cheeks before she pulled away.

"Garrett…? Is it really you?"

I blinked in extreme confusion and looked up nervously at everyone else

Her voice grew louder now, "Thank the Maker, you're actually alive! Where have you been all this time?! What happened?" I took a step back and Odin perked up once again, his eyes locked onto her.

"Odin. Eu disse não'." (Odin, I said 'no'.) This time, Odin was far more hesitant to relent, but did so anyway.

"How do you know my name?" I asked, fully on guard.

"I'm Marian. Your twin sister. Don't you remember me?"

My eyes widened in slowly mounted horror as the realization hit me.

I have a sister?

No… No that can't be…

I pulled away from her again and shook my head. "I-I'm sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else. I-I'm afraid I don't know you."

Her smile faded, saddened as she lowered her hands to her chest. After a moment, her gaze turned back up towards mine, and our eyes met.

"But what about when dragons fly?" she asked.

When… dragons… fly?

Ugh… my head… I swayed a bit on my feet and grabbed at the chair at my side, holding my head with one hand, a sudden dizzy spell as something shot through my mind.

"Mary, what if we ever get separated?" A younger version of myself asks, a rather small child probably no older than 9 or so, holding the hand of a girl of similar size and age. "I'm scared I'll be alone."

"We should have a password!" the girl said, grinning.

"P-password? Like what?" I asked, pulling her tight into a hug.

"Like…" She hummed in thought.

"Like…." Her head tipped upwards and she let out a gasp as the sound of wingbeats flew overhead. I looked up in turn and also gasped, wide eyed and grinning wide.

"What about when dragons fly?" She asked.

I…

"Then one day I wish to fly among them." I said automatically, finally able to steady myself. I shook my head to shoo the headache away, and looked at her. So it was her… A smile crept over my face, and I gently pulled her into a hug. I still… barely remembered anything, but she was familiar enough. Her eyes lit up and she squeezed me tight, burying her face against my chest and sobbing.

"You remembered…"

A pained look crossed my face as I squeezeed her in turn.

"Mary…"

"So you are related!" Isabela stood up and pointed at us both.

"W-well I, er…" I rubbed the back of my head nervously as Marian let go. "I… It's news to me."

Marian gave me another hug then pulled up a chair next to mine and sat down just as I did. I gave her a weak smile and took her hand. The others resumed their conversations, including myself and Marian, delighted to see the newly reunited siblings.

I've had dreams of her before, I know I have. I remembered seeing her in tears when I spoke to Flemeth that one time.

"Mother and Father will be overjoyed to see you again. It's been twelve years…What happened? Where did you go?" She asked so many questions, yet I didn't want to answer them here. It was a bit too loud and there were far too many eyes and ears.

"Você fala Rivaini?" She asked.

(You speak Rivaini?)

I relaxed in my chair and nodded.

"Claro que eu faço."

(Of course I do.)

"Você parecia nervoso, mas, por favor, fale comigo."

(You just seemed nervous, but please, speak to me.)

I shifted and looked around the tavern again, I can't give too much information here.

"Não posso confiar em muitas pessoas e não sei em quem posso confiar. Eu... eu não vou falar do que aconteceu aqui. Existe algum lugar onde possamos ir sem sermos ouvidos?"

(I cannot trust too many people, and I don't know who I can trust. I... I will not speak of what happened here. Is there anywhere we can go so that we won't be overheard?)

"Muito bem. Eu estava planejando que o resto de nós voltasse para a propriedade para a celebração do Ano Novo, então talvez possamos discutir as coisas lá?"

(Very well. I was planning on the rest of us all returning to the estate for the New Years' celebration, so perhaps we can discuss things there?)

Isabela popped between us both and threw an arm around our shoulders, then pulled us close against her in an awkwardly angled hug. I immediately draped my arm around her waist, and I felt Marian do the same as her hand jabs into my side.

I know Isabela knew what we were saying, it was just a matter of how much she had heard. She looked at me from the corner of her eye and winked before pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Are we going to head back to your parents' house later, Mary?" She inquired. "I think it'll be a nice change of pace for your parents."

"Oh, of course! Mother wanted me to invite the whole crew over for New Years anyway so we'll head out in maybe an hour or so? My grandparents are away on a trip and won't be home until tomorrow, and Carver and Bethany will be coming home tonight as well."

"Sounds like a plan!" Isabela kissed Marian's cheek then abruptly stood, turned to the rest of the group and said, "Alright you lot! Start sobering up cuz we're gonna be headed to the estate to make it the best new years party ever. You got that!?"

Every person in said group raised a mug and cheered. I suppose the invitation was unanimously accepted. Although I was hesitant to agree. She left us to ourselves and went about mingling with other folk in the Pub. She raced over to the bar and draped herself over the bar to get the bartender's attention. I vaguely made out the flash of white hair once again, and a hand rested on Isabela's head as she started talking to them with their hand in hers. She bounced in place a few times then let go and hurried back over to the table.

My heart began to race all over again as a fresh wave of panic started to take hold. Like a weight on my very being, something wrapped firmly around me, tightening and the air became thick. Every breath was more difficult than the last and the world around me started to haze over. Voices melded together and faded away into static, and my hands before me seemed to not be my own.

I needed to get out of there. There was pressure on my thigh but it didn't bring me back.

A firm tug snapped me out of my haze as my head was forcibly made to look into Marian's eyes. Her breathing was steady, and worry hung in her eyes.

"Breathe with me, and don't look away."

I rested my hand on one of hers, though my gaze flicked about to the others. A few people were looking our way but–

"Garrett." Marian said firmly. "Focus on me and breathe." I slowly nodded and focused on her. Watching her for a moment before I slowes my breathing to match hers. She smiled with relief, and after my heart finally got the fucking hint to calm down, I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry." When I settled back properly in my seat, she reached up and playfully ruffled my hair. Odin immediately forces his head up under my hand, and I absently rubbed his head with gentle praises in Tevene.

"What for?" She asked.

"Well, for that and… I… genuinely don't remember you. Or anyone in the family for that matter. Everything is just a haze that I get lost in whenever I try to remember."

"But you remembered our little adage." Marian leaned on the table, propping her head up in her palm.

"Now and then, something will spark a memory, like I'm unlocking a key point in my life, yet there lies far more beyond the fog that I just can't seem to access." I held my hand up to her and showed her the ring.

She took my hand and looked it over, and it was then that I noticed she wore a similar one.

"This was fathers' ring. So you were the one who took it."

"Was it, now?" I examined hers as closely as she did mine.

"Mhmm. His ring vanished the same time you did. And so did our familys' heirloom staff. You didn't happen to take that too, did you?" She looked at me as if expecting me to carry one with me.

"Depends. Was it made of a dark wood with a blade on one end and a red orb at the top?"

"That sounds like it. We have a few photos back home of father wielding it… so if you have it then I can assume it kept you safe. But where is it? You're a caster, so why don't you carry one?"

As she spoke, the marks on my wrist started to glow, and a sharp spark of electricity shot through my entire system. Every ounce of restraint was at the forefront so I wouldn't cry out despite the sheer agony I was in. My entire body wracked with this pain, violently trembling and gritting my teeth as I buried my head in my arms against the table.

Why now?!

"Garrett?!" Marian had been pushed back without my knowledge, but all I assumed was that I had done so that she wouldn't be affected. I don't even know if she could.

"Garrett are you okay? What the hell just happened?"

"I'm f-f-f-fine. J-jus-s-st…" I lifted my head up rather dramatically and slammed both my hands on the table. "I'm just fuckin' peachy." I glared at my wrists as the glowing subsided, then flexed my fingers a few times.

"Perhaps I have little choice in this matter…" I sighed, quickly looking about to see just how many people had witnessed that little seizure. Thankfully, it didn't seem like anyone had paid me any mind. That was good, but I felt absolutely drained of energy and I didn't think I'd be able to continue being in the area for much longer.

"What do you mean?" She rested her hand on my arm again, then pulled it towards her to examine my wrist. Her fingers trailed up along the raised skin of scars then rested over the brand.

"This? What is it?"

"Yes. That… I will not speak of what it is here. What matters is that I need to… see… Malcolm…?"

"Our father."

I remained silent but stared down at her hand on my arm before gently removing it.

"I don't truly know if you're telling me the truth." I shook my head and pulled away from her. "I have no memories of you or anyone else. Yet I felt a connection with you."

"They say that twins can sense one another when they are nearby. Did you feel a warm tingling sensation in the back of your mind when you came in the room?"

My head snapped towards her and I squinted. "I did."

"As did I." I glared at her now.

"You're not just saying that, are you?"

"No! Garrett, I know people keep mentioning that stupid drinking thing I did. Who the hell did you think it was for? You and I always wanted to have drinks together when we got old enough… but you left before we could do any of that."

The weight of guilt pooled in my stomach like a solid rock and I looked down towards the wooden tabletop, focused on the lightly stained lacquer that suffered some small rings of water damage here and there.

"When we get to the manor, why not you and I share the first drink? That sound good?" Marian shook my shoulder to get my attention again.

"I-I mean… I'm… not really one to drink." That was an absolute lie. I loved a good ale, but not around these people. The look in her eyes though… Absolute puppy dog eyes.

"But for you, I'll partake." I took her hand gently and rubbed the back of it with my thumb. I need to pry, though. I needed to see if her mind spoke the same as her voice.

She looked into my eyes, and I could feel a small twinge of fear as she stared rather intensely back. Like she was trying to detect something. But as she stared I sensed the thread of her mind, took the pull, and delved.

There's a wall in her mind, a full blockade and yet… I am able to get in… The further I pry, the simpler it seems to get for me to wander past. A section seems to fade away and I delve further without hesitation…

Visions and memories flooded around me… She was there, fifteen years old, leaning at the windowsill with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her hand pressed against the cold window and left a little imprint in the frosted glass as she pulled away.

"Marian." A man's voice said, as aarfe hand rested on her shoulder. She turned slowly towards him with tear-stained cheeks and shook her head. "We still can't find him…" The man said, "I know it's hard but you need to stop worrying so much. He'll be okay. He's too stubborn to let anything go wrong, and you know this. We'll find him. No matter how long it takes. I promise."

Marian shook her head again then embraced him and sobbed into his chest..

The memories faded further back, to her again playing with someone… someone that I did recognize. She laughed so happily as she dragged him along with her through a stream, splashing him along the way.

"Mary!" The young boy cried out as he got a faceful of water. "Pfffft stop! It's cold!"

I recognized him… Was… was that me…?

The memory cleared further and I finally saw his face. He has the same scar across the bridge of his nose that I had.

It… it can't be…

"C'mon, big brother, fight back!" She splashes the younger me again, and this time, I splashed right back. "WATER FIIIIIIGHT!"

—

I snapped back into reality with Marian staring at me with a grin. I shook my head and gave her a wide grin in return. I reached for her and yanked her arm to pull her into an incredibly tight embrace. She squeaked in surprise and gave an equally tight hug right back. She rested her head against my neck and I didn't think anything of it until she whispered in my ear.

"Você se lembrou de alguma coisa...? Com aquela pequena intromissão que você fez?"

("Did you remember anything...? With that little prying you did?")

My heart skipped in panic and a sinking feeling in my gut, but she pulled away and held both of my arms with tears trailing down her smiling face.

"Eu não vou contar. Eu prometo."

("I won't tell. I promise.")

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I nodded slowly.

"Sim... Sim, eu fiz... Afinal, você realmente é minha irmã."

("Yeah… Yeah I did… You really are my sister after all.") I squeezed her hand again and took a slow breath, my smile fading a bit.

"Eu... percebo agora que tenho muito que explicar. Você já sabe o que eu fiz, não é?"

("I... realize now that I have a lot of explaining to do. You already know what I did, didn't you?")

Marian nodded but didn't stop smiling.

"Eu vi suas cicatrizes. Papai me ensinou os sinais, e como sentir quando alguém está... em sua mente. Ele não vai ficar feliz com isso."

("I saw your scars. Father taught me the signs, and how to sense when one is... in your mind. He won't be happy about this.")

"Podemos conversar mais sobre isso no caminho para a propriedade... já que eu vou ser arrastado de qualquer maneira?"

("Can we talk more on this on the way to the estate... since I'm going to be dragged along anyway?")

Marian, once again, pulled away from me and nodded.

"Would you like me to kick my husband out of the car so it's just you and me?" She winked then glanced over her shoulder towards her husband, who was busy chatting with the man at the other booth.

"I would hate to make him angry, though." She waved me off again as if it wasn't that big of a deal. I felt like it would be an issue with Anders for me to steal his wife from him for the ride back.

"I'll be right back." She got up and wandered over to Anders, leaned down and pulled him into a kiss then said something with her hands behind her back. She batted her eyelashes at him and acted all cute. I felt like I've seen Isabela do that before… probably at me… At that thought, I looked back towards Isabela and saw her sitting in Avvar's lap. Am I actually jealous? I'm gay, I shouldn't be jealous over a woman.

He called me hot too… Was I really that appealing to look at?

"You could do with losing a few pounds, pet…." Dan's voice played in my head, and I absently rested my hand on my stomach. I'm not… that big… am I?

Marian returned with a delighted look, and two glasses in hand. She set one in front of me and the other in her spot.

"It's just Coke, don't worry. I didn't spike it with anything."

"You make it sound like you're trying to convince me that you didn't spike it." I deadpanned. She shook her head. " Also holy shit you're fast. I didn't even see you go to the bar."

"Well, I didn't want to waste time when I could be talking with you. And you looked like you were off in your own little world anyway. Anyways, Anders said he'll drive with Karl– that's the guy he's been chattin' up all night." She rolls her eyes. "His best friend. I like to tease him because they dated before he met me."

"So, who all will be coming to the estate tonight? The whole lot of them?" We both turnes in our seats towards the group proper and I kept note of everyone there. I didn't realize there were so many people in what, if I remember correctly, Isabela had referred to this merry band of misfits as "The Kirkwall Crew". I wondered if they have a reputation or something.

"Yep. Pretty much everyone here at the table. Everyone carpooled here, I imagine Avvar's gonna be driving some bunch of them back since he's too big to fit in any of our cars. Have you ever seen a Qunari try to fit in a tiny little Toyota? It's damn impossible."

I vaguely recalled seeing a large truck in the parking lot, so I could assume that it was his. I took a sip of the coke and winced at the taste.Oof, I haven't had one of these in a bit.

"What's wrong?" Marian took a good mouthful of hers and burped. "Still not a fan of sweets?"

"That, and I haven't had a soda in like six years." I said, hesitantly taking another fizzy sip and wincing as I burped with my mouth closed. I put the glass down abruptly and covered my nose. "Ach fuck it feels so weird!" Marian laughed, and I heard a few others join in that little chorus of laughter.

Suddenly my chair was pulled away from the table with me still on it as if I weighed nothing. I turned my head to see Avvar smirking and set me next to him and Isabela.

"C'moooon, Hawke, join in the fun." His deep voice was like a melody to my ears and I rested my hands on either side of me, grabbing the seat rather tight. I was nervous as I looked up at him, and quickly averted my gaze from his as our eyes met.

"Stole your brother, sorry not sorry, Mary." The Qunari called before he glanced down at me with a grin.

Is it getting hotter in here…? Am I staring? Oh Maker, look away, Garrett, look away. Oh no…

He laughed as Marian flipped him off, and he roughly clapped his giant on my shoulder. I very visibly flinched and forced my eyes down towards the floor. The conversation at the table quieted just a bit. I think they noticed. I made a very weak sound and reached up towards my shoulder. I'd forgotten just how fresh those wounds still were, and I certainly felt the numb pain rile up again.

"Hawke, are you alright?" Avvar asked, the worry in his voice startling my attention towards him. I snapped my head up towards the lot of them with a nervous grin and laughed it off.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just–just startled me is all. I'm fine, promise!" I gently turned my chair so I faced the group and rubbed my shoulder where he hit.

Fuck, that hurts.

"Are you sure I did not hurt you?" Avvar asked as he rested his elbow on the table.

"Nah, my shoulders' just a bit sore. Took a hard fall the other day, but I'll be alright."

Not like I'm still recovering from being whipped or anything. Sure, it's been about a month since I escaped, but still… The scars will linger for a while… just as they always have…

I sighed inwardly and motioned for Marian to rejoin us. She grabbed my glass and handed it to me then scooted her chair over to join. The mood picked back up again and Isabela decided that my lap was the new comfortable spot to sit. She plonked herself in my lap and pressed her back against my chest. I rolled my eyes but draped an arm around her middle and rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Well now, aren't you two so cozy with one another?" Varric jeered from his seat with a brow raised.

"I didn't think you'd get along with anyone so quickly there, Hawke."

I shrugged. Hell I already fucked her, so I won't complain about a lack of knowing.

"Varric, you're not one to talk. You weren't the one who wanted to hang out with him first. Mister 'I gotta finish these next few chapters'." Isabela said with a huff and a scowl. She actually seemed angry about that, and wrapped her arms around my neck protectively. I couldn't tell if she was being playful or actually mad, but either way I winced at the mere thought of her potentially trying to snap my neck. "He's a new friend so you need to hang out with him too! Everyone will need to at one point or another."

I lookes up as much as I could without getting a faceful of her boob to see her grinning back at the dwarf. She started laughing and released me from a potential stranglehold but remained in my lap.

Honestly, if we weren't in public, I'd probably end up misbehaving a bit with her.

Keep it to yourself, Garrett, it was just a fluke the first two times. She only sees you as yet another body.

The bitter thought stung, but I didn't let her go. Just the brief thoughts of her riding me were a bit better to calm me with, though it took a bit more willpower to not get too riled up.. I felt Avvar's eyes on me then on her. The two exchanged a look and they both grinned. I didn't like the implications of this.

"Leto!" Marian called out towards the bar. "Leto you had better get your ass over here. Your shift has been over for ten minutes. Let Tyler and James take over already!"

Leto?

"Just give me a second, Marian!" A rough voice responded. My attention turned towards where Marian called to, and saw the flash of white once again before it disappeared. A few minutes later, someone gets an apron thrown at them from behind the counter, and a well-dressed elf wandered out from behind the bar wall.

I recognized that hair… that… voice…

I think I just tazed a hobo.

I absently grabbed at my side and rubbed at the spot where the taser hit me. As the elf approached, this gorgeous white-haired elven man, I stood up abruptly despite Isabela seated there and ejected her into Avvar's lap. She let out a short noise of fright as Avvar successfully rescued her. She glared at me and Odin barked in worry.

I hushed Odin quickly then pointed at the elf, accusingly slamming a hand on the table.

"You!" I said, rather loudly.

The elf paused just short of the table, his eyes wide in shock.

"You're the fucker that tazed me!"

The table went silent before Varric burst out laughing.

"I take it you two have met!" He didn't sound disappointed or surprised in the slightest, in fact, he sounded like he was about to start prying further.

The elf didn't move for a moment, but a small smirk crept on his annoyingly handsome face. "Well you certainly don't look like a hobo anymore."

"I-" I stopped in my place and stopped pointing. I let the arm drop to my side. "Well. I guess I should say thanks to you. If you hadn't sent me to Anders' clinic… I don't think I would've survived too much longer."

I took a breath as I calmed then stood up.

"Sorry, Isabela. Are you alright?" I immediately turned to the woman I near completely flung out of my lap.

She waved me off and laughed. "If I wanted to be tossed around like that I would be getting a room."

"That can be arranged." Avvar chimed in mischievously.

"Room for three?" Isabela wrapped her arms around his neck and eyed me over.

I nervously rubbed my neck then moved out of my seat as Leto approached the group. He came directly to me with a hand outstretched.

"Leto Koios." He said with that same rough voice.

Maker, it's nice…

I took his hand with a firm shake.

"Garrett Hawke."

"A fourth Hawke, now?" Leto turned towards Marian after we disengaged and put a hand on his hip.

"Where did this one come from, Marian?"

Marian beamed as she got up and pulled Leto into a hug. Anders' face turned a bit red.

Oh, right, I guess Anders doesn't like him.

"He… Garrett's my twin brother. The older twin, at that." She had Leto at arms length before Anders cleared his throat.

"Yes, I should thank you for sending the bastard that broke my nose to my clinic." Anders rubbed his face in annoyance.

"At least it was a clean break." Leto deadpanned.

The table erupted into laughter, much to Anders' dismay.

I laughed along with them. Leto and I both took our respective seats and Isabela rightly plonked herself back in my lap with an arm thrown around my neck.

"You're going to pay for that later, Garrett Hawke." Isabela whispered threateningly.

"Oh, am I?" I whispered back with a wicked smirk.

I caught Aveline giving me that look like she could tell why Isabela was so comfortable with me. I gave her a look in response and draped an arm around Isabela again.. Odin sat obediently at my side, his little tail wagging happily with the merriment that ensued at the table. He seemed relieved of my own calm as well. For once, I did indeed feel a sense of calm. My heart wasn't about to leap from my chest except maybe when either Leto or Avvar gave me a look. Leto took a seat and stole one of the appetizers from someone's plate.

Maker, don't tell me that there are people actually interested in me like that… I have the personality of a rock and the body of a… I don't know. Not an appealing person. I don't care what Isabela said. I don't believe her.

We spend the next hour and a half or so just chatting, laughing and half of the party sobering up. After the uncomfortable feeling of soda fizz up my nose, I had no desire to finish the drink and went for water instead. Marian finished my drink off for me. Soft drinks were not exactly a favourite of mine anyway. Way too sweet. Marian had announced that the family would be hosting a dinner for us all, so we mostly munched on a few appetizers. I quite enjoyed mozzarella sticks. Who knew deep fried cheese was so good?

"Izzy, I'm gonna drive with Marian. I think we've got a lot of catching up to do." I said as I got out of my seat.

"Not a problem, love." Isabela grabbed my shirt collar and pulled me down so she could press a kiss to my cheek.

"Drive safe or I'll kick your ass." She giggled then patted my other cheek.

"No promises."

I followed Marian towards her car after completely forgetting that I was driving with her and had headed towards Isabela's car. Marian grabbed my arm and dragged me over to hers. It was a rather nice looking Jeep. I let Odin in the backseat first and he immediately curled up and was asleep within minutes. I had to squeeze my giant ass into the passenger seat and adjusted the it all the way back. Marian laughed when I grunted in discomfort.

"You really grew up." She playfully punched my arm and I shooed her away.

"I suppose so. You're also quite tall." I commented, also noting how much farther back her chair was in comparison to Isabela's.

"Yep. I'm six foot two. You?" She flashed the peace sign at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Six foot six." I replied. "I can see why Anders likes you. A tall and intimidating woman could probably woo anyone she wanted. So how the hell did you end up with a shrimp like Anders?"

She laughed as we pulled out of the parking lot. "It's… a long story that can wait until later. You promised me some explanations, brother."

"So I did. Alright then. Where should I begin?" I leaned back in the seat and rested my head back, just enjoying the music on the radio.

"Well, first off, what happened and where did you go?"

I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath.

"Before I tell you. I need you to swear not to breathe a word of it to anyone. I will explain this demand of secrecy as well. Do I have your word that this remains between us?" My gaze locked onto her as we stopped at a light and she raised her right hand.

"I solemnly swear upon the Maker and His Bride that this conversation remains between us." I raised a brow in confusion, but smiled gently all the same. I finally caught my breath as she let her hand drop to the wheel.

"It's about a 40 minute drive, so we have time to talk." She said, looking ahead at the road.

"Very well…" I let out another breath and rubbed my hands together. Odin's head was at the center console, his large eyes staring at me. I rubbed his head with a gentle praise in Tevene once again.

"As I've said, I don't remember too much past a certain point… but where do I even begin?"

"I can give you a start. You ran away from home after you had a very nasty argument with our father. You told me that same night that you couldn't stand being there anymore and wanted to get out in the world to make your own story… and by the time I woke up, you were gone, and so was fathers' ring and his staff."

I anxiously twisted the ring on my finger and looked down at it. So that was how I got it… it wasn't a gift after all. That also explains where I got my staff from.

"I'll you what I remember. It was sometime in June that I was… purchased. I barely remember the faces of the men in black that held the key to my cage, but I remember…" I trail off as my mind tries to piece things together.

"Remember…?"

"Danarius."

"Danarius?"

I nodded.

"The man who purchased me."

"Purchased!?" Marian shouts, causing me to flinch and my heart race. "They sold you?"

"Marian, please."

She bristled with rage, but calmed down after a few moments. Though I saw her hands still trembling.

"Yes. Purchased. I was sold into slavery to a Magister named Danarius. I was fifteen when it happened." I rubbed Odin's head a bit more avidly and gave him gentle scritches.

"As for where I was? At first, I was still in Ferelden. For some time as I was… trained into behaving for my new Master." I pulled away from Odin and let out a weary sigh. "It was.. grueling and agonizing to say the least. Every time I spoke out of turn or disobeyed, I was beaten. I was denied meals and drink, they even went as far as throwing me into mud pools and refusing to allow me to bathe. I was obedient on and off, thinking that I could fight my way to freedom… so as you probably realize, I got pretty tired of it after a few weeks on and off… and one day I just… gave up. I devoted my total obedience to my Master… and… when I did, I was rewarded with praise and attention that I so desperately craved. Mother never gave it to me. She hated me…" I stopped in place, realizing that I did remember something else, though it was nothing too pleasant. "Mother… hated me…" I repeated, solemnly. I look down again sadly.

"Danarius gave me love and affection. He gave me gifts and praised me and… He was very supportive of me as I was growing up… but…" I looked out the windowfeeling my heart start to race again in mounting panic. "He… started being more than just affectionate with me." I heard my sister catch a breath, and felt her eyes on me.

"Did… he…?"

"He molested me. I didn't think anything of it at first. I thought it was relatively normal, or rather… he told me it was. For a Master to touch his servant in these ways when they were alone together. But told me to keep it a secret. I complied. Who was I to tell him no? Then… I started to wake up in his bed. Sore and… with a disgusting feeling, like I was unclean. After a while it just happened in such frequency that I became numb to these feelings. And… I ended up enjoying when I would wake up with him… even when he forced himself on me when I didn't want him to."

"He raped you?"

"Yes. Numerous times. When I was younger, he even let other nobles have their way with me, men and women both, but mostly older men." I leave back in the seat with my hands folded in my lap. "And… It was when I turned sixteen that things started to get worse. Not even a full year of servitude, and he started to show me how to cast spells. I learned so quickly from him, and he called it a natural talent. I was thrilled to make him proud. He always rewarded me…" I feared I was delving too deep into it, My heart raced angrily at the memories of his hands all over me…

"I… moving on from that… I was taught a number of spells and incantations. But I was so weak in casting the spells. After I had failed a third entrance exam…" I trailed off again, remembering.

"Where I was dragged after Ferelden… I was in Tevinter."

"Tevinter!? All the way out there!?" I just nodded to her angry question.

"Danarius is a powerful Magister there. And he wanted me to join him on council one day… but as I kept failing my exams due to a weak magical aptitude, despite learning the spells and committing them to memory… I was unable to cast." I stared down at my hands in disgust. "The third failure caused him to lose faith in me, and so he… threw me into slave pits to battle other slaves. And that… that is where I learned… Marian, can we stop really quickly?"

She didn't answer, but we pulled off into another parking lot and parked. Thankfully we didn't have to turn the light on as a streetlight was enough to illuminate it, as I pulled my sleeves back and showed her the arm with a wide array of scars.

"It was where I learned how to use Blood Magic. But you already figured that I was a Maleficarum, didn't you?" I met her gaze as she ran her fingers along my arm.

"I… Didn't think you were." She admitted. "Father told me that any mage could learn to pry if they trained at it long enough but-"

"Maleficarum can do it merely with eye contact." I said as I pulled my sleeve back down. "That was the sensation you felt when we were having a staring contest back at the pub… and that was how I was able to remember."

She stared hard at me in horror and pulled back from me. I feared she would flee, but instead rested her arms and head against the steering wheel with a very exaggerated groan.

"Garrett, of all the stupid things you could have done…"

"I had no other choice!" I yelled. "I had no way of defending myself when I was thrown into the pit. And… and… I-I-I…"

Tears welled in my eyes and rolled down my face, my voice cracked. "I had several full grown men thrown at me over and over… all of them trying to kill me. It was in the first round that I was thrown in there that I… I lost control. I blacked out and when I woke, I was covered in blood that was not my own, and they were nothing but bits and pieces scattered about the arena. After that battle… my Master took far greater interest in me."

She started the car again and we pulled out onto the road again.

"I was eighteen when I was allowed to get my first tattoo." I said, trying to lighten the mood before more heavy shit would kill the good mood. "I'll show you them later… but after he had taken greater interest in me, he started doing… different things to me. He started treating me well again, and even decided I was worth becoming a bodyguard of his. Two years later, things were changing. I was forced to get more tattoos. The black work you see on my neck and it's pretty much down my entire left side… I didn't ask for them, but I was forced to endure them as a test of pain tolerance. It didn't stop there. He… was someone who I was in love with. By this point, I hadn't been able to see him as anything except someone that I couldn't be without. And he used that to his advantage…" I ball my fists and grit my teeth.

It was so terrible to speak poorly of him. He could find out and would be so pissed with me… especially with everything I'm telling her. "I did whatever I was told… I protected him, I loved him… I killed for him."

"Killed…?"

"Yes. Killed." I don't look at her. "He's the reason that I have scars on my face. He carved the one down my face over my eye and and lip." As I say so, I run my finger down my face along the scar. "And… yes. I've killed people." She didn't look at me and I felt like she would turn me in to the authorities or even kick me out of the car.

"So you're a murderer." She said softly, barely a stage whisper.

"…Yes…"

"…" The energy of the vehicle tensed and I felt her rage building.

"He had you kill people?"

"Yes." I said, just as quietly.

"How many people have died because of you?"

"I…" I didn't look at her, the welled up tears ran down my face. "Too many."

She punched the steering wheel and let out a terrifying roar of anger.

"I WILL FUCKING MURDER THAT SON OF A BITCH!" She glared over at me with tears in her eyes. "You were such a gentle child. You were the biggest coward, I'm sorry but you were scared of everything. You couldn't even hurt a fly or you started crying. He turned you into this… this…"

"Monster. And… as of today. I've only been out of his reach for about a month."

"What…?"

"You… heard about what happened in Denerim… correct?"

"Yes… fifteen people died from a random firefight that broke out. No one knows why it started… Eris lost her sister and future brother-in-law in that tragedy…"

I went silent for a moment, then took a deep breath. "They were trying to kill me."

The car swerved and I hit the window. "Ow…"

"What do you mean!?"

"They were trying to kill me." I repeated calmly.

"The fuck do you mean? Who?"

"A group of individuals who had a problem with my career of choice. I was captured shortly after the firefight and was imprisoned… At some point I was rescued."

"Rescued? By who?"

"Grey Wardens. Before you say anything; they normally don't deal with normal people like me, but these two are my friends and… they were following me and were able to save my sorry hide. And… that's how I came to Kirkwall. They shipped me and Odin off as a means to get me away from Dan and his cronies…"

"But why were you in Denerim?"

"I was sent on a mission to hunt someone down or retrieve something. I don't remember really, it gives me a bit of a headache when I think about it." Poor humour for the man who got a bullet between the eyes. "But, essentially, it was a trap set up for me, with intent on getting rid of me. I became too dangerous for Dan to keep alive and sought my death to wash his hands of my existence. The entire reason I demand your secrecy is because if he finds out where I am, he will come to Kirkwall to retrieve his property by any means necessary. People will die if it comes down to that and I can't bear the thought of that happening."

She went silent again.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I've already told you far more than I ever should have." I didn't realize how much I had been petting Odin, but he whined to get my attention. "Sorry, boy…"

We drove in silence for some time. She wasn't too happy. My nerves are a riot and I felt my entire body begin to start war with my brain. My legs tensed and I reached for a gun that wasn't there. I didn't want to meet this apparent family that I had or continue being with this sister that I barely remembered.

"Why did you convulse like that?" Marian asked quietly as we passed bright lights through the dark city, colours of red, blue, gold and silver, even violet, passed over the vehicle. I saw her grip on the wheel tightened even further as her knuckles went white.

"I'm sorry?" I rested my hand on Odin's head flatly.

"Why did you convulse like that back at the pub?"

"Oh… that…" I rubbed my wrist absently. "He branded me specifically with magical inhibitors after I started to exhibit far more potent magical aptitude. The marks prevent me from casting and whenever my mana pool appears to start replenishing itself, the brands activate and shock me, thus draining me of mana and rendering me both complacent, and harmless. And that was the other reason why I still turn to blood magic." She looked at the clock on the dashboard and tapped on it a few times. It seemed that I wasn't the only one getting restless..

"It doesn't affect blood magic though, does it?" She seemed to have an understanding of what I'm getting at..

"No. Magic has this… melody that every spell sings, in a sense. They all sing a similar one based on what source of energy they derive from. These brands counter those melodies and nullify them. They're linear, unlike blood magic. Blood is always changing and altering constantly with every beat of the heart. Anything can change the song of blood… These brands fail to pinpoint the pitch, therefore, it cannot counter what it cannot hear. My Master had experimented on me, so with every alteration he made, my blood's melody did as well. This time, he had thought he had the right answer, but failed once again. It's the reason I've been able to defend myself… yet I have never once felt the pull or a connection to demons of the Fade. None ever approached me, so you don't have to worry about me being possessed."

Again, she went silent, but now her hand rested on top of mine.

"You've really been through a lot… is that why you have Odin?"

I nodded.

"Dan had given Odin to me as a puppy when I was 22, after I started exhibiting mental instability due to the traumas and stressors I was forced to endure. I trained Odin myself, so he understands my body language and recognizes my ticks and when I'm about to have a panic attack.

Even as I said this, I felt my anxious heart race the closer we got to the estate. Every beat was met with unsteady breaths and frequent glances out the windows instead of at her than at her. "The brands activate every now and then because they were also meant as disciplinary actors. But being so far away from him, they don't seem to activate in as high of a frequency as they did when I was imprisoned."

It was getting worse. I heard my heart in my ears. We're getting closer. I can sense something up ahead, though I can't quite place just what it was. I don't know how much longer I can take this. Talking about this was a terrible idea. A terrible, horrible idea.

"Garrett." Marian said softly.

"What?" I feigned a calm demeanor.

"I won't tell anyone." She said. That honestly surprised me. Her entire attitude and how she responded felt like she would do something about it or toss me out.

"You… you won't?" I pressed against the door a bit more but kept away from her.

"I swore an oath not to. As a lawyer, I am not one to break an oath. So as far as I'm concerned, you didn't tell me any of this, we never had this depressing discussion, and we were just catching up on some things. If anyone asks about your job, you're a mercenary with the Red Iron. That will easily explain your scars and demeanor.. Got it?" Oh fuck, she's with the law too!? Just my luck…

She spoke with such authority that I shrank in my seat a bit more. "Got it." I responded a bit meekly. Maker, this is going to be difficult…

"Good." She leaned forward in her seat a bit and squinted out the windshield. Pointing towards a larger building just ahead. I had barely noticed we were a bit further out of the city until I saw a general lack of clustered buildings. We paused at the foot of a gated space before a snow covered yard, and a bit further within was a rather large manor with all lights on and decorated for the holiday season.

Talk about an electric bill…

The gate was left open and I could see several cars parked here and there… quite… quite a lot more cars than I was expecting.

My entire body trembled and I felt my pulse race. The heartbeats grew louder in my mind, in my ears, and my vision began to darken.

A hand on my arm made me nearly jump out of my skin.

"Are you going to be okay?" Marian asked, gently rubbing my arm. "You got your good boy with you…" we pull in through the open gate and I see a number of figures up ahead. As we approach, again, the panic rises in my chest and I stare ahead. Odin shoves his head under my hand again and I continue to pet him. He huffs at me and I can already tell that he's very tired. Poor thing…

The estate seemed to be a lot larger than I was expecting. Marian is deliberately avoiding driving over the open space and pulling into the larger driveway. Huh. I guess it makes sense for people of wealth to have their own gardens and all that jazz. It did take us a bit further up into the wealthier side of Hightown. So I guess I can see that…

The crowd of people waiting outside seem to turn their attention towards the vehicle and flag us down. As our vehicle pulls up to join the rest of the army of cars, I see that Avvar and Isabela are waving their arms towards us. There's a bright light just short of the house, and the sky seems to have cleared for the night. I can see the moon and the bright sky from where I was sitting. It was beautiful… lights off the snow, the blue of the night making the snow shimmer beautifully… how romantic… Isabela still looks beautiful. Avvar too, for that matter.

Marian looks at me and I return the look. I don't think I can do this. I genuinely don't. Not anymore. I can't handle the amount of pressure I feel about this entire thing. What if it's all just been a lie? What if they just hate me? What if they're all just trying to trick me and send me back to Dan?

I-I can't… I can't go back. I can't. Not to Dan. He'll kill me if I go back to him…!

Everyone was so excited about us arriving for some reason, and I saw Anders go knock on the door, followed by Isabela pushing him out of the way with her hip and started knocking a little beat on the door and cheering. The doors swung open as Marian stepped out of the car.

"Hey guys! I brought the whole crew with us! And a new addition!"

In the doorway, I saw the shape of a man with glowing eyes. He was a mage too. I could sense his aura. Pure. Holy, even. My body trembled as I reached for the door. A woman appeared at his side, greeting everyone and letting them into the building.

This is it…

I felt as if all forms of doubt weighed down on my very soul. I saw members of the crew head inside the manor though Avvar remained outside, watching us expectantly. Marian motions for me to hurry up. I swallowed the lump in my throat and pushed the door open. Another deep breath, I pull myself out of the seat, and into the cold winter night. For a moment, I kept my head lowered, but as I straightened up, I slowly turned towards the house and then I saw him in full view.

He's me.

But older.

The mans' eyes went wide and he stared at me. He took a step forward and rubbed his eyes.

"Dear? What's wrong?" A woman approached the doorway again. I could barely see her from where I was but I could

"Garrett? Is that really you?! By the Maker, you're alive!?" The man took another step forward and, in the light of the house, I could see his eyes narrow. Or squint. One of those two, and a smile creeps over his face.

"Garrett?" The woman echoed as she peeked around him.

Avvar had his eyes trained on me as Marian opened the door for Odin. The Mabari hopped out and shook himself off, and licked Marian's hand. I took a step back and shook my head quickly.

"No… no no no this is all wrong… This… this doesn't make any sense!" I took another step back, my eyes wide with horror. I must be seeing ghosts. This isn't real. None of this is real. I took a few steps back again and heard the two at the door call my name. my mind went blank and I turned to run. I called out a single command towards the dog.

"Rimanere!" (stay there!)

Snow crunched beneath my boots as my vision blacked. The sound of the wind rushed past my ears and the biting cold clawed at my face. My breaths grew heavy, freezing tears streamed down my face and I couldn't stop. I kept running. Faster and faster.

Go go go go. They can't get you now! A voice in the back of my mind kept shouting.

You better keep running when you see ghosts! They'll take you over and make you nothing but their puppet!

I skid to a halt and nearly slipped on a patch of ice. Cussing under my breath, I ducked into an alleyway and pressed my back firm to the wall, I slid down to the cold ground with my hands clutched about my throat. The cold air stung my lungs and breathing was even harder than before. Like knives buried in my flesh. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. There's no hiding the terror I felt.

Like looking in a mirror… seeing his face. Hearing his voice. Him speaking my name…

As I look around, I noticed that Odin was not with me. Where… Where is he?

"Odin!" I shouted into the night, and frantically scrambled to my knees in the snow, I called out his name again.

"He's… he's not coming…? Odin– where?" My voice cracked as I continued to try to call for my dog, but after a few minutes of calling out, I realized that he wasn't coming. So I sat back on the cold ground, pulled my legs up against my chest, and wrapped my arms around my knees. I was so cold. I buried my face in my arms and let the built up panic free as the utmost pitiable sobs.

I was so confused.

How were they still alive? I didn't even believe that Marian was my sister, let alone my twin sister.

And that… that was my father. Why was it so weird to see someone who looked like me!? Why is this even real!? HOW ARE THEY ALIVE!? Here, I almost expected to see sentient charred corpses but NOPE. Living human beings!

My heart won't stop pounding in my chest and the space around me started to spin. I felt like I was close to passing out. Everything felt so… I felt weightless.

Heavy footsteps sounded from around the corner, and I snapped back to reality in a panic. A huge silhouette stood in front of the alley, and my eyes snapped towards them and I immediately tried to scramble away. Every muscle in my body tensed in preparation to flee, but there was a disconnect that halted my escape. I was frozen in place in absolute terror. A deep, familiar voice came from the figure.

"Oh, there you are. I was worried you had gotten so much further away." My body thawed an inch as I recognized the voice.

"A-Avvar…?" I asked the figure as he approached

"Yes." Wasall he said as he held his hand out towards me. "Come now, we need to get you back to the estate." I stared at his giant hand and slowly, timidly, reached out to take it. When he pulled me to my feet, I wrapped my arms around him, shoved my face against his chest and sobbed. I expected him to push me away, but instead I felt warm arms wrap around me and the gentle feeling of nails through my hair.

"It is okay… You will be okay, I promise." He swayed back and forth with me still against his chest.

"Why are you being so nice… What did I do to deserve that?" I turned my head up to get a better look at him, and his kind eyes smiled down at me. Those claws kneaded through my hair rather… comfortably. I really enjoyed it.

"Why do you think you have to 'deserve' kindness? It is just something you should have regardless. Is that… something you are unaccustomed to?"

Despite the sobs still wracking my body, I fell silent against him. The cold tore through my clothes and I shivered rather violently.

He probably took my silence as my answer, because he squeezed me a bit tighter.

"Well, whoever told you otherwise was incorrect. You are just as deserving as anyone else, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise."

I pushed away from him and wiped at my eyes, a glare met to his own gaze. "Why the hell do you think I deserve any kindness? You have no idea what I've been through– no idea the things that I've done!"

I do not even deserve any of what I've been given so far and even still, if I deny any of this kindness then I feel like nothing short of an ingrate, yet if I so willingly accept it then I feel like I'm taking advantage of people. Both of these feelings make me more than disgusted with myself and I just… I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I shouldn't be here.

"I… I shouldn't even be alive right now." I dropped my hands to my side and stared up at the skies as I let my entire body relax.

"I just don't get it." I saw the Qunari reach towards me, and I instinctively flinched away from him.

His ears drooped a little and his hand dropped to his side.

"I do know what you have been through, Garrett." I glared at him. "I know trauma, and I know the darkness that can haunt one's mind long after the immediate threat is gone." The tension faded and I stood upright properly, looking him over to size him up.

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a step closer to him.

"Do you have any idea how many people I've killed in my line of work?" He turned his head and glanced either side from the alley. Confirming that no one was around, he turned back towards me. "Hundreds. Garrett. The irony of this career is that I hate hurting people. But murder is my entire job. I have had to witness the light fade from men and womens' eyes so many times as they die and you think that you are the only one who has to live with that?"

"Wh- what makes you think that I'm like you?"

"I know the eyes of a murderer when I see one. You cannot fool me. You hold yourself like someone with authority over others and use your size to intimidate people. Do not think that I did not see how you try to shrink yourself to be less frightening or act meek. You know how to play the wolf in sheep's clothing. Normal people do not recognize it, but I do." His expression was soft, unlike his words. He actually smiled a little as he spoke, but that faded just as quickly as it came and the stone-faced expression returned.

"I know what you are going through, and I will gladly help you. So please, I need you to trust me and come back to the estate with me before you freeze to death. I will even remain at your side during the gathering if you need someone to help keep you grounded."

I didn't know if I could trust him… So I stared up at him and met his gaze, but there was no way to get into his mind. It was far more barricaded than Marian's was, and far more than any of my previous victims. This man had a lot to hide and knew how to prevent unwanted snooping. So I just blinked and averted my gaze, but he had me pretty much figured out. At least… the murderer part.

"Please don't tell my family, or the rest of the party. Everyone seems to be figuring me out and it's starting to scare me."

"How many know your truth?"

"Aveline, because I live with her currently, but she doesn't know everything and I intend to keep it that way. Isabela, because she sussed it out of me but still doesn't know that I've killed people… and Marian, because I felt compelled to spill everything to her on the way here. That… that conversation took a lot more out of me than I was expecting it to and… Seeing my… my parents after thinking they were dead for so long… It-it-it was just too much."

"So that is why you ran?"

"Yes… It was so stupid to do, I even told my bloody service dog to stay behind… I'm…"

"Coming back with me." Avvar said again as he extended his hand. "I will keep you grounded, as I have said."

"Promise you won't tell anyone."

"So long as you don't tell anyone what I have told you."

I took his hand and nodded.

"Our secrets kept between one another…" He pulled me against his body and linked our fingers together. My face heated up and a stupid grin crossed my face. I looked up at him to see he already smiled down at me.

"You are quite cute. I can see why Izzy likes you."

"I–pffft what? Where did that come from?" I laughed and wiped the remainder of dry tears from my eyes. "You're a fuckin' lunatic for thinking that my scarred up mug is cute."

"It adds character." He gave my hand a squeeze and we walked back together through the cold.

People really enjoy holding my hand. I… I appreciate it. It's been helping me stay grounded with each interaction.

After the first block, Avvar got his phone out and dialed someone.

"Avvar!" I heard Marian's frantic voice on the other end of the line. "Did you find him?!"

"I found him. He is fine now. We are coming back, so just… be gentle with him. Tell your mother not to interrogate him unless she wants him to bolt again." I haven't seen an angry Qunari before, and that scowl was anything but charming. Downright terrifying if anything…

And hot.

Painfully hot.

"I would suggest you tell her now instead of when we get back."

"He's saying not to interrogate Garrett when they get back…– No, mother, you're not going to be interrogating him or demanding answers from him when he gets back. If you want him to just leave again, then by all means."

Oh, great, people were already arguing because of me.

"Tell them to stop fighting otherwise I might as well go back to Aveline's." I said firmly.

Avvar repeated my little threat and I heard an annoyed sigh and then Marian said something else in a language I didn't understand, but Avvar apparently does and responded as such. I just liked hearing his voice. It was sort of grounding for me. I fely at ease a lot more now than I did when he first found me. Odin's frantic barking in the background startled me, and I stared up at Avvar's phone. Oh… I left him behind. How stupid of me.

Avvar hung up then unlinked our hands, much to my disappointment, but then he pulled me against his side and I draped my arm around his waist. He was very warm… and smelled really good too. Hot damn why didn't Isabela tell me about this guy sooner?

"What are you smiling at?" Avvar gave me another squeeze. I didn't realize I was smiling..

"Oh uh… n-nothing. I'm just… happy now? I suppose?"

"What? That I am holding you?"

"Yes–I mean– no. I mean–" I looked literally anywhere else but he laughed at that.

"Well, then the feeling is mutual." The smile crept up on my face again and I laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. Y'all are good at flustering me, I'll tell you that much." I saw him smirk again and give me a look. He didn't answer or say anything further as we continued the walk back. The fact that I had run so far away without even realizing it genuinely shocked me… and worried me. It's really freaking cold out, so I guess I can see why he got me close to him like this. I almost want to ask how he knows Isabela, but I can imagine that they've probably been fucking. You don't just kiss someone like that unless you have been.

I'm a bit jealous. I think to myself as I'm pressed against his side and was just holding his hand.

It took a bit to get back, but eventually, the lights of the manor came back into view and I saw someone standing at the gates with their arms huddled around themself. I uncurled myself from Avvar and hurried over to them. It was Marian, and she shivered like mad. She saw me and rushed towards me, throwing her arms around me as she ran into me. She trembled and was probably freezing. I wrapped my arms around her tight and turned to shield her from the wind.

"Mary… Mary I'm so sorry, are you okay?" I ask. She glared up at me.

"You idiot! You–!" She grabbed my face, and I grabbed hers and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry, sister. I'm sorry." I looked back at Avvar, then pulled her back into a hug. "Let's get inside… I'll… I'll be okay." Avvar's at our backs, guiding us both towards the manor where I see my… My father is waiting in the doorway. He saw me with Marian and he hurried out towards us.

"Come in, come in." He smiled when our eyes met, but I quickly averted them from his to the ground and we all headed inside the house.

The scent of the holidays slammed into me with full intensity and warmth. I stopped where I was as Avvar walked into me, then gently nudged me to continue on forward. So I did. He closed the door behind us, and a weak moment of panic shot through my heart. Without thinking, I put my fingers to my mouth and let out a sharp whistle. The sound of claws frantically scrabbling against a wooden floor and loud, excited barking was followed by a panicked shriek as Odin barreled in through the doorway.. I positioned myself and stances with arms wide open as the massive 200lb hound leaped into my arms. I staggered back just a little but held him over my shoulder all the same. He rubbed his face against mine and whimpered so happily to see me again.

"Mio bravo ragazzo... mi dispiace tanto di averti lasciato indietro…." I hug him tight and gently sway side to side. (My good boy... I'm so sorry I left you behind.)

"Non ti lascerò più indietro. È stato così spaventoso senza di te."

(I won't leave you behind again. It was so frightening without you.)

I gently bounced him in my arms then set him down on the ground. Odin barked up at me and wagged his entire ass as he bounced around and put his paws up against my belly.

"Facile facile… Odin" (Easy… easy… Odin) I pet his head and he finally settled back down. He continued to wiggle eagerly as I stood up to my fullest and turned back towards the front door as someone cleared their throat. Father stood there, staring me down with a head tipped to the side.

"Damn, you really are the spitting image of me." His arms crossed over his chest, and he smiled at me. I stared at him a bit awkwardly and flinched as Avvar's giant hand grabbed my coat sleeve.

"Maker, don't do that." Avvar laughed and helped me get my coat off, then I helped Marian get hers off. I ignored my 'father' for the moment to unlace my boots, since it seemed everyone else had done the same and left snow-covered shoes and the like by the front door.

Finally, I took a breath and turned back towards him. He was just a little shorter than I am, but not by much. I turned to Marian for confirmation, and she simply nodded..

"Go on." She urged softly.

"You look like you lost a fight with a cave bear." He said, which caught me off guard.

"Well, I certainly felt like I did when I got these." I rubbed my face where the scars were. At that same moment, I looked at my finger to see the ring shimmer. I took it off and cupped it in my palm, then held it out to him.

"I… think this belongs to you." Father took the ring carefully from my hand and examined it. His eyes welled up with tears as he held it tight in his hand.

"You kept it all this time?" He asked, holding his fist to his heart.

"Yes. I felt compelled to keep it… I was told it was a gift from you before… you…"

"Before what?"

"I was told that you gave this to me before you passed away. It's… there's a lot I need to explain but I'm far too emotionally drained to handle more of that tonight." I rub the back of my head and sigh.

"I understand." He held the ring out to me with a loving smile.

"Keep it." He smiled. I held my hand back out to receive it, and as our fingers touched, I felt a shock pass between us both. He flinched at the exchange, but it didn't even faze me. Father held a rather horrified look on his face as I replaced the ring on my finger.

"Garrett… Why is the flow of mana so weak in your hands?" He took one of my hands and examined it over warily.

"So, I will actually need to talk to you about that. But at a later time. Or when we have a chance to be alone… I don't want the others to hear about this…" I looked back at Marian, then to Avvar, and finally back to my father.

"Aside from that, it's… it's nice to see you again, father." He dropped my hand then embraced me tight, and I returned the gesture albeit weaker. I still don't remember much about him… or anything, really. Marian patted my shoulder before she headed off into the next room. Avvar waited for a moment, then followed after her.

Father released me from the embrace and patted my arms, before giving me a once over.

"Look at you… All grown up. It'll be so nice to catch up after all this time. Come, now, shall we reintroduce you to the family?"

"I… I suppose we shall." Avvar departed the room shortly before I did, but the nerves were still strong even with Odin pressed firmly against my thigh. My eyes wandered about the room, taking in the truly magnificent decoration and atmosphere this place gave. The walls in the foyer were a slight tint of a sort of off-white, but it didn't look garish like it usually does, lined with deep brown wooden columns and trim. Crimson curtains on the Windows with gold trim along the bottoms and some tapestries hung on the walls among paintings of people, probably relatives long deceased. The tapestries were a brilliant white with the same sigil on my ring embroidered onto it. Two crimson hawks with talons intertwined. It was quite beautiful. There were vases with flowers here and there and I could see the banister and railing of a stairwell leading to a secondary floor.

"So," Father began as we walked into the hall. "You have a mabari?" He smiled down at Odin, and I can tell he saw the harness. "Is that…?"

"He's a registered service dog, yes." I said automatically, having been asked about this a number of times. "I've been through a bit that warranted me needing one." That's all I would tell him. "If you couldn't tell by me running away the moment I saw you." I sighed as we passed the threshold into the living room, and there were a shit ton of people in the room. My body locked up as soon as I saw everyone and I reached down for Odin. He rubbed his face against my hand and wagged his butt excitedly.

I bet he was thinking Oh boy, more friends! As a playful pup would. As we entered the hallway connecting to the living room, the walls had turned a lovely reddish tone with some darker red accents in some pattern that I forgot the name of. It was pretty fancy. In the corner of the room stood a giant christmas tree fully decorated and shining bright. A lit fireplace roared beneath a rather large television mounted to the wall, and there were still more smaller portraits on the walls around that.

Collected around the fireplace were quite a number of people, at least twenty or thirty. I recognized some of them as my new friends from the crew, but the rest were unfamiliar to me. Several women were drinking from tea cups or had wine or champagne, and a few men were here and there with either a wine glass or a beer can in hand. Classy. Everyone's attention was on the TV as something, probably some movie, kept their eyes elsewhere.

As my father entered the room, he had me hang back in the hall behind him, then he clapped his hands together and spoke in a loud tone.

"Everyone!" His voice startled quite a few of them but now their attention was on him. "I thank you all for coming to this wonderful celebration once again, and now with even more new faces." He gestures towards some of the folk from the crew, so I would assume he was talking about Eris and Avvar (who was getting some looks from a few of the other visitors). "And on this night, when normally we remember those that we've lost." He gestures towards the fireplace again, where I see older photos of the four kids all together. My younger face was there in quite a number of them. A portrait stood on the mantle with a vase of flowers next to it on the right and a candle on the left In memoriam.

"We no longer need mourn the loss of our eldest…" Confused murmurs fill the room. "Through some miracle, and after twelve long years… he has finally been returned to us." Father turned towards me and motions for me to come into the room.

"Come in, Garrett. It's alright."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and rubbed Odin's head as I moved into the room with a very nervous smile.

"GARRETT!" An older woman cried out as she jumped to her feet and rushed over to me. I barely have time to prepare myself as she wraps her arms around me in a tight embrace.

"Wait, that's Garrett?" another woman's voice asked. All around the room there were quite a large number of people.

I stood there in confusion as whispers and my name were thrown about. A few folks came up to me and greeted me like I was their long-lost relative.. Who are these people…? The blank stare I had given them might have dissuade them from interacting from too long, but either way, I was polite. I had to be, anyway.

"Oh, my darling boy, Is it really and truly you?" The older woman cries as she stares up at me then grabs both of my arms and holds me at length. This… This must be my mother?

"I-I'm sorry, I…" I quietly pull out of her grasp and take a nervous step back. Father appears at my side and rests a hand on my back.

"Be gentle with him, dearest." He went over to her and kissed her, then beamed up at me. "It's just so good that you've returned to us, son." All I felt was some form of disdain for my mother. As I glanced down at her, I couldn't read those grey eyes of hers. There were more excited murmurs from the peanut gallery as others started to stand and come to say hello or talk to me. Of course, Odin stood vigilant next to me, which definitely kept some of the more nervous people at length even after I told him to sit. I'd honestly forgotten that Mabari, being one of the largest breeds, were actually intimidating. A 200 pound dog does tend to do that.

Slowly I learned the names of each person who came to greet me. My great-aunt Revka stared at me anxiously as we exchanged kind words, and I sensed an innate sort of fear emanating from her, even the wisps that floated around her became nervous the longer they stood near me. I also noted that she kept staring at my face, and not in a curious way. She seemed more disgusted with me than anything, but she was pretty good at hiding it from the less observant. I still remained polite with her before she returned to her position on the sofa with some others who hadn't bothered to break conversation.

I was pulled further into the room to meet a few more of my cousins and reintroduced to my Uncle Gamlen and his daughter Charade. He didn't seem too pleased to see me either. A few kids were there too. The oldest was a young girl, probably about ten or so, who avidly tried to avoid being around me. She deliberately gave me a wide berth as she and the young boys ran about the house. There were a few more kids that ran about that I could only assume were relatives of mine. One of them ran straight into my leg and bounced off to the ground, and another one tried to pet Odin but he offered a stern growl and they ran off rather quickly.

That earned me a very angry glare from one of my aunts. I pet Odin's head and praised him once again.

Following after the other kids was a Qunari girl. A bit smaller than the human girl but just as fast with an excited giggle. I see Avvar grin at the little girl and then call her over to him. She stopped dead in her tracks and rushed over to him so he could pick her up. He hugged her and kissed her face several times. A second Qunari girl followed after, and clung to his leg.

"Garrett," he said as he stood with the child in his arms. "These are my daughters, Kii'rana," he bounced the one in his arms, " and Daevi." He rested his other hand on the young girl at his leg. "Your parents have been kind enough to watch them for me when I am out on business." I want to pry and ask why there is no mother figure. Genuinely. But that might be too rude to ask so soon.

"Think nothing of it, Avvar, you're a friend and it's the least we can do for what you've done for us."

I wasn't about to pry, but damn did I want to.

Instead, I smiled at the small child as she reached out towards me. Avvar inched a bit closer to me and Kii'rana grabbed onto my shirt. I've never held a child before, but still I accepted her from her fathers' arms. She squealed in absolute delight and rested her head against my shoulder.

"She seems to have taken quite a shine to you, my friend." Avvar beamed at me, and I felt a nervous twinge in my gut as he smiled. Why does he have to be so charming?

I bounced the child in my arms a little and she wrapped her little arms around my neck and tucks her head to the crook of it.

I have the sudden desire to protect this child with every fiber of my being. I have known her only minutes but If anything were to happen to her I would kill everyone in the room and then myself.

"I did not think you liked kids." Avvar said, to which I blinked in confusion. "You are smiling quite like a father." Avvar went to pick up the little one called Daevi, but she seemed content being on the ground.

"A-am I?" My face heated up and I cleared my throat. He beamed.

"I….I like your kids." I saw the light in his eyes grow ever slightly and he gently removed her from my arms. She disapproved with a whine but accepted being hugged by her father once again. Eyes were on me, which was very obvious since I was the technical foreigner here. Father came to introduce some family friends to me.

"Lord and Lady deParle." He said as two very well dressed people approached me. The man with a hand outstretched. I took it with a firm grip out of habit, and his wife did a little curtsy to me in return. Lord deParle is a bit of a scrawny looking man with a rather well kept beard and mustache and a prominent widow's peak. A nose that looked like it had been broken several times and has not healed correctly at least one of those times. He was quite well dressed as well. As I looked at his wife, she is, for a lack of a better word, a well rounded woman. She was quite plump but she carried herself with such confidence that it was hard not to respect her. She was also extremely polite and, even though I know she stared at my scarred face for a bit too long, she was gentle with her smile.

"No matter what, young man," She said, "Things will get better for you." With a wink, she and her husband returned to the gathered 'adults' with a wine glass in hand.

I didn't notice until now that there were several people running about giving out food and drink… Were they slaves…?

I stared a bit too long at one of the young elven women that rushed past me, and father clapped a hand on my shoulder.

"That's Orana. She's one of our servants, and a very good one at that. She makes amazing stew, I'll have to have her make some for you." I felt like he tried to comfort me with that… But if they're servants and not slaves then… I suppose that was okay. There were quite a few of them, actually; at least four elves, a dwarf, and a few humans. They couldn't all be working for the family. As I watched them come and go, I did see that certain individuals catered to specific parties.

So those must belong to the others then. I wondered which servants belonged to my parents.

Another young woman approached me as the deParle's returned to the seating area and took my hands.

"Garrett I'm so glad you're okay!" She said, beaming as she threw her arms around me. "I never thought I would see you again!"

I looked towards Marian in a panic, but she was little help aside from a mildly disgusted expression combined with discomfort. I don't think she liked this woman. Upon first impressions, I sure as shit don't either.

Odin started growling at her as she ran at me and barked at her a few times until I told him to hush. I then, very weakly, pulled the woman off of me and took a step back. "I-I'm sorry, uh… who are you?"

The young woman stared up at me in horror as if I just insulted her entire ancestry.

"Y-you don't remember who I am?" She held her hands over her heart with tears welling in her eyes. "My name is Dana! You forgot about me even after the promise you made to me all those years ago?"

She took another step towards me, and I took another step back. I held my hands at chest height as I took yet another step back, but thankfully she remained where she was. "Well?" She's rather demanding, this one.

"No." I said as I crossed my arms and scowled. "Not that it matters to you, I barely even remember my own bloody parents let alone you."

"What do you mean you don't remember?" Dana yet again stepped forward, albeit now a bit angrily.

"It's a delightful little condition called amnesia. I got into a really bad accident and still barely remember anything even of myself. The only reason I'm even here is because I happened to run into some folks who eventually led me back here."

Now she seemed absolutely pissed, her hands balled into fists and trembling.

Is this woman for real? Why is she getting so mad at me? What the fuck did I do?!

"You promised me that we would get married when we grew up and I've been waiting for you ever since then!"

"Did I?" I turned back to my parents questioningly. "Did I ever make a promise like that?"

Father, on the other hand, also seemed quite irritated whether by her behaviour or my own lack thereof. "I wouldn't know." He said. "You never told me anything when you were young."

Gee, I wonder why.

My attention snapped back towards Dana as she started towards me. Am I going to be bullied into something I don't even remember by this random broad? Apparently.

A very deep, guttural growl rose from behind me as Odin had his teeth bared, and he stepped in front of me protectively. His ears were pinned back and his eyes locked on her, his position defensive and prepared to lunge if I needed him to. However, I had no intention of letting him bite her, lest these people demand he be euthanized.

"Rilassati… Odin." (Relax, Odin.) I tried to calm him as his growling intensified, and now the entire room stared at us.

"Is that your excuse? 'Amnesia'? Oh, please, you're lying." Dana approached and drew uncomfortably close to Odin. The fur on his back bristled and this woman did not seem to fear him. Which is a very bad sign.

"Dana! Get away from him and the dog!" An older man shouted. "This is most disrespectful to our hosts!"

She didn't seem to care about listening and shouted at me with a finger jabbed in my direction. The brazen accusations of me somehow being unfaithful and abandoning her all those years ago really started to piss me off. She was even crying as if I had broken her frail little heart. Even if I had remembered, I had no interest in women and especially not a bitch like this one. Spoiled rotten she is.

Odin had enough of her and engaged attack mode. He lunged at her and I rushed forward and grabbed his harness as his hulking form almost yanked me forward. His ungodly loud barking filled the entire room with his rage.

"Odin! Ritirarsi!" (Odin! Stand down!") He wasn't listening either. Oh for fucks' sake this is not how I was hoping tonight would go.

I've had enough.

"Ho detto di stare giù!" (I said: stay down!") And I yanked firmly on his harness and dragged him to my side with a very displeased glare at him

"Dicebam tibi non ire post eam, sed non obedis. O nequam canis!" ("I told you not to go after her, yet you disobey. Naughty hound!")

Now my glare turned back to Dana. It took every ounce of strength I had not to throw her mind into a black abyss.

"As for you. I have no interest in ever marrying the likes of you, even if I had back then, I never will now. You have the audacity to accuse me of lying when I have been struggling to deal with my own damn mental issues for the past ten years!" The man that I assumed was her father rushed forward and dragged his sobbing daughter away from me. The accusations were still thrown at me with everything she had. Some pathetic apology was thrown in my direction, but I'd rather forgive the Darkspawn for destroying my own damn home.

Odin gave a weak, angry growl, but shut up just as quickly as I glared down at him. He turned his gaze towards the ground and whimpered. Varied muttering rises from the older folk, and even a few from the new group of 'friends' I've made. Marian looked utterly horrified and had one of her children behind her.

"Dovresti saperlo meglio di così." (You should know better than this.") I pinched the bridge of my nose then turned and rushed back into the hallway.

Father hurried after me just as I got to the door and started lacing up my boots.

"Garrett, where are you going?" I don't respond to him and grab my jacket. "Garrett!"

"If I wanted to be yelled at for no fucking reason then I would've just stayed in Tevinter!" I grabbed the doorknob tight with full intent to just leave… but slowly my grip slackened, and my shoulders dropped. I rested my head against the door and sighed.

"I just wanted to be welcomed somewhere without there being conflict. It's not my fault that I can't remember anything. It's not my fault I was in a wreck that stole so much from me. But everyone just keeps putting that blame on me and I'm so tired of it." I looked over my shoulder at him and turned the knob. "I just want to be able to be happy." I opened the door and walked out into the snowy night. Several voices came from the living room, some of which belonged to my new friends followed by several kids crying from the adults getting into an argument as I left the house.

I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed the door behind me and headed out just a ways before stopping in the snow. Cold flakes fell from the heavens, and I raised my head skyward and closed my eyes. The cold felt so good… it was just a shame it had to come down to this. I opened my eyes very slowly as tears trailed down my cheeks..

"It wasn't even that big of a deal… Why did she feel the need to escalate it? It's not even my fault…"

"No, it wasn't your fault." Father's voice startles me and I whip around to see him standing there, his hands behind his back. "I'm so sorry that this happened, son." He took a step forward, then hesitated. "May I come to you?"

"What?"

"I don't know what has happened, but I don't want to push your boundaries any further than they have been today. So, I will ask again, may I come to you?"

I turned and stared down the driveway towards the gates, and watched my breath float away from me.

"...Yes." His footsteps crunched through the snow and I felt his warm hand on my shoulder. He turned me to face him and had such a gentle and saddened smile on his face… I honestly didn't know how to feel about him or the entire ordeal. He was clearly my father even by looks alone. I rested my hand on his shoulder in solidarity and leaned forward to rest my head against his.

"I just want a day where I don't have any drama. I–" A sharp sensation raced through my entire body. I let out a sharp cry as a powerful shock set my runes within my tattoos alight, that shone even through my coat. I dropped to my knees in the snow, clutching at my wrists as an even greater shock forced agonized screams out of me. The blue magic of the binding runes visible about the outside of my body as I felt every ounce of power I had slip away into nothing.

"Garrett!" Father cried out..

"Do not come near me!" I spat in his direction and pressed my head into the snow with another agonized cry. "It'll… hurt you… too!" I didn't hear him move. Only the agonized, pitiable sound of my own whimpers as it faded away. The mind numbing pain lingered a bit longer, and once it finally became bearable, I settled back onto my legs and lifted my head. I looked behind me, but my father was gone. Did he… leave me out here?

My heart sank as I stared towards the door, but as I turned around he was there in front of me. Knelt in the snow with his hands outstretched.

"Was this what you needed to talk to me about?" He asked as he grabbed my arms and yanked me to my feet. He was a lot stronger than I took him for.

"Y-y-yes…" I stammered behind a weak breath. My legs trembled when I stood and I slumped forward against him. "It… hasn't been… this bad in so long…"

"We're going inside, and that's final." Father commanded.

"Yes, sir." He draped my arm around his shoulder and together we walked back inside, albeit at a much slower pace since I felt like I was about to pass the fuck out at any second.

"Get you inside before you catch your death, you foolish man." Father grumbled as he opened the front door. Mothers' voice was loudest in the living room. She gave some sort of speech or pep-talk to the rest of the crowd, and an apology for the 'bear of the hound' that I assumed was Odin. It didn't seem like he attacked anyone, so that was a good sign… Silence filled the house until a few of the kids started giggling again. I glanced back at my father, who simply motioned with his head towards the stairwell.

"Don't worry about the carpets, Orana will clean it up later. We need to get you to my office." He silenced me with a whisper and I nodded. He dragged me up the long flight of stairs with some difficulty as another bout of shocks raced through my system. He seemed entirely unaffected by the binding spell, but I felt ever more drained as several more volleys attacked my very being. I collapsed at the top of the stairs as a dizzy spell struck me. The room spun wildly and I flopped over onto my side with the remnants of seizure-like convulsions. I blacked out momentarily, and when I came to, father was still there. My head rested on his leg and as I opened my eyes he let out a sigh.

"Maker, I'm glad you're okay. I was so worried you were seizing up."

I trembled still, but managed to prop myself up on my elbow.

"Thank you… f-f-for not… l-l-l-leaving…" The tremors still remained and speaking was very difficult.

"Easy there, son, just take it easy. It's no rush and I can't have you injuring yourself.."

"Yes, father." The sickly feeling of obedience once again took hold, though I was able to wave it off like it was nothing more than an irritating fly. We waited together for a moment, and I felt I could move again. He helped me to my feet but I still had a bit of difficulty staying up. He continued to let me use him as a crutch as we headed to his office. I didn't pay attention to what was around me until we stopped in front of a door and father pushed it open and pulled me inside.

"Sit." He said as he guided me towards a chair.

"Chair?" I didn't really understand what was going on, but I still sat where I was told. He flicked the light on and locked the door behind us, even closed the blinds to the room.

He waited a few more minutes before he stood in front of me "Show me your arms." Father went about the office collecting some things, probably magical things. "Go on." He returned to my side. Without really thinking, I rolled both of my sleeves back and showed him my wrists. His grip was annoyingly tight as he grabbed my left arm and twisted it to turn the underside up. His fingers ran over the multitude of scars, as so many people seemed so keen on doing lately, then rested on the brand at my wrist. He tutted as he took my other arm and did the same. I kept my gaze to the floor, but I could feel some form of anger bubbling inside of him, and disappointment.

"Who did this to you?" He demanded, letting my arms rest on my legs.

"Who did what?"

"Branded you. Garrett, you know what these are, don't you?" He grabbed my wrist and pointed at the brand.

"They're little pretty things that shine whenever I want to cast spells—Of course I fucking know what they are." I sighed in defeat. I can't keep giving this information out to everyone. It's none of his business either. "They're…" I hesitated and took a deep breath before continuing. "They're slave markings. These… were specifically created to control dangerous magi and inhibit their spellcasting abilities."

"Slave markings…" Father tipped my head up to meet his gaze, and I gave him a tired smile.

"Yes. Slave brands. Father."

He sucked in a breath and I could feel the anger of twelve years passed bubbling inside of him. "I was–I am–someone's slave. For the past twelve years, my life has been owned by someone else. For twelve years I've been treated like a guard dog and obediently did as I was told." I laughed humourlessly at the entire thing. Fucking stupid, all of it.

"Garrett, this isn't funny." Father growled. "Why aren't you taking this seriously? What are–"

"Father, what part of my entire visage even mentions that I lie? I was abducted when I was fifteen and sold into slavery. Why the fuck would I make that up?" Father balked and dropped my arm.

He took another deep breath and stood me up. "There is something bothering me about your mana's pathways." The look in his eyes had me worried.

"What do you mean?"

"Your teacher would have told you that every mage has points in their bodies where mana coalesces. Sort of like pressure are parts of your mana pool that are restricted in certain parts of your body, so these two are not the only ones you have on your body. One of them is in the middle of your back."

"Bullshit. I don't remember him ever putting a brand on my back!"

"You may not remember but it is there. Now let me see so I can help remove the third one.."

I sighed and relented. "Well, that certainly explains the back pain… Unfortunately I will have a lot of explaining to do. The awkward silence that followed made me wish that I was still unconscious.

"What do you mean?" Father gestured for me to hurry up so he could get it over with..

"You'll… you'll see. I'm not mentally well enough to deal with more of this so let's make it quick."

I took my jacket off and tossed it onto the chair then, again with hesitance, removed my shirt and dropped it in the same spot. Fathers' eyes narrowed like he was about to judge me far more about everything, but instead he just made this weird noise. One that was mixed with confusion and disappointment, and yet… something else.

"I see what you mean." He pressed his index finger directly to the center of my chest where the largest scar was. His eyes wandered over my entire body, starting from the scar over my eyes that trailed all the way down to my waist.

"Did he do this to you?" He asked as his finger hovered mere inches over it.

"No." I lied. "I got into a fight and lost. This was the punishment they gave me." Father said nothing as he grabbed my arms and twisted them about to force me to turn around.

I felt his fingers trail over every scar on my back, but I said nothing in regards to it. He didn't need to know anything. His hand went lower to the middle of my back and a single finger pressed firmly in that spot. I let out a pained sound as something akin to static shock coursed up through my arms and hands. I grunted in discomfort and glared back over my shoulder.

"You cut yourself.." I turned my head away from him, but I guessed that he saw the scars up along my arms. He didn't say anything, but I think he knew… either that or I prayed that he assumed I just harmed myself to feel something.

"Yes. It was a very rough twelve years." I stood up straight and gestured to the one around my neck, even visible past the black ink work. Father twisted my arm again and coerced a pained noise from me.

"Did your master cast some spells upon your mind to seal everything away to make you complacent."

I shrugged.

"I will make you a deal." Father pushed me back in the chair and hurried over to his shelves. He rifled here and there between books and opened drawers upon drawers. For a few minutes of this, I sat there watching him in amusement until he withdrew a stone from a drawer a bit higher up.

"What's that, then?" I slotted my fingers together and stared hard at him.

"With your magic sealed away for Maker knows how long,, I can almost guarantee you that you will not have that same control as you did before, and chances are that your mana pools have been damaged and will need proper time and training before they can recover."

The chair squeaked as I leaned back in disbelief. "Oh, that's all you're asking of me? No hidden motives or excuses to just have me stick around longer?"

"Yes. It's as simple as that. You will train with me and that's all there is to it." Father returned with a stone in hand. My entire body went rigid and I bolted back out of the chair only to trip over it and knock both it, and myself, to the ground. I scrambled to my feet and pressed myself back against the office wall. I recognized that stone, that damned shape.

"Do you really expect me to trust you after all these years? You're still a mage, and a powerful one at that. How the hell can I trust you?" The runes on my arms started to glow as I tried to cast a spell in defense, but that only triggered the brands once again. The draining spell dropped me to my knees and I actually tasted metal. Warmth dripped down my nose and from my mouth to the floor. Lifting my hand, I caught whatever it was–oh no– So, apparently I was bleeding. I sat back on my legs and crawled back to rest against the wall, my gaze now firmly locked onto my father as tremors wracked my entire form.

"Is this what you intend to do to me?" I accused him angrily, only able to take another breath before another volley of shocks sent me into another fit of tremors. "Y-y-you int-t-tend to br-r-r-rand me all over again s-s-s-so I'm un-under your control? Is that it?" The brands refused to cease. Their vibrant blue glow sent the rune markings within my tattoos alight all the way up to my neck. His eyes widened in sheer horror at the sight of them all.

"What has happened to you?" He nearly dropped the stone, and instead set it on the desk. He knelt next to me in a panic. "Don't move."

"T-t-t-trust me, I don't think I can." Yet another shock wracked my system, but I couldn't move. I was paralyzed where I sat with metal filling my mouth and the warmth dripping down my face still. Am I dying…? My vision started to go dark, and I forced myself to stay upright, though my body wanted to collapse and rest.

"Garrett, stay with me son. Don't fall asleep." He lightly slapped my face as I closed my eyes again, bringing me to consciousness briefly again.

"I don't want to die again…" I whispered weakly as I slumped against him. It was getting harder to breathe, and I was starting to choke on it since I couldn't move.

Father took a deep breath and uttered a string of words as his hands shifted about in the air. He pushed me back against the wall and held his palm flat against my chest over my heart. With another string of words, warmth emanated from his palm and washed over me like a loving embrace, the agony that I felt slowly melted away and an air of calm flooded my system. He snapped his fingers and something zipped over to him. My arm twitched, and I slowly curled my fingers. I could move. In his hand, he held a garbage pail up to me.

"Don't swallow all that blood, spit it here." I obeyed and weakly reached up to take hold of it and retched out quite a lot more blood than I had hoped. I slammed the pail on the ground and bent over, heaving into it and blowing blood out of my nose.

He reached up to grab the stone from the desk, and I would have made some sort of noise at him had I not heaved yet again.

"Do you want to see what the rune says before you go making an arse of yourself further?"

"Wha-I –fuck you." I hissed quietly and glared up at him. His hands glowed blue and rested on my back. Another bout of warmth covered my entire body, and the metallic taste finally stopped filling my mouth. I felt a bit better about that at least. He did it once more, then snapped his fingers once or twice in front of me. Every drop of blood on me seemed to just… pull away from my skin and disappear into the aether. I stared at him in disbelief.

"How did you do that?" My hands no longer bore crimson, nor did any other part of myself that had not even a few moments ago. I shuddered in disbelief and stared at the bloodied trash bag.

"Sorry about that…" I apologized, but inside, I felt more dead than before. What the fuck even happened to me…?

Father held the rune in front of my face now, and I pulled back just enough to be able to make out what it said. It was familiar to me, but I didn't want to wait any longer for another shock to potentially kill me. I knelt back and slowly got to my feet.

"Make it quick. I'm tired of being in pain because of these fucking things." Without another word, he grabbed my arm, twisted me around and pressed the stone to the middle of my back. Suddenly a loud pop cracked my ears and everything started spinning. Like some weird relief of a knot in your spine that you finally get rid of or some irritant just… gone. I bit my tongue in the process of not trying to yell out in pain. Let me just say; it hurts almost as bad as being rebranded. Once he pulled the stone away from my skin, I whipped around and threw a punch, only to stop my fist just short of his face then lowered it with a smirk.

He was unamused, and I was incredibly dizzy. Now I flopped down into the chair and held my head in my hands.

"Feel better?" He asked, grabbing my right arm to press the stone to that brand.

"Yes-s-s-s-sonuvabitch!" It was pressed too hard against the brand, and it felt like a laser constantly stabbing my flesh over and over and over… Like it was removing the ink of super old tattoos. As he pulled the stone away, I watched as a pale blue string-like essence clung to the rune on the stone itself before being absorbed into it. Quickly after that, he grabbed my other arm and did the same thing. I was prepared enough this time not to make a sound, but damn. The same sensation now filled my entire body. A whole new surge of this absolute power that I hadn't felt in years.

In that moment, my eyes went alight, and along my black bar tattoos did runes glow brightly, carved into my skin by my Master during every experiment done. Each a different word, each a different sort of incantation or meaning, most of which I've forgotten. But still, they shone ever so bright, and my father just stared at them until they finally went dull once more.

I stared at my hands in absolute disbelief.

He turned the stone over and showed me the rune on it again. It… was not like the one my Master used on me at all.

"Interitus…" I said quietly. "You made it decay."

Father nodded sagely.

"You need your staff." He said.

"My what?" I asked, blinking.

"Your. Staff. You dingus. Surely out of everything you stole from me, you still have my old staff?" I thought back to Aveline's flat and nodded.

"I'm unfortunately too weak to retrieve it, even by magical means." I dropped my hands on my thighs and leaned back in the chair, breathing rather heavily as the feelings took over me once again.

"It's at Aveline's place…" I smirked at him weakly "I know how to get it… I just… don't think I can handle forcing that much energy to restore itself so quickly. I suppose I'll be needing it for the time being, until I get accustomed to casting… I hope."

"Take my hand." He said, offering his hand. I pulled my hand back, then took his hand.

"Now cast your spell. You can use my reserves to fuel it. I have plenty to spare."

"Are you sure?" I asked as he pulled me properly to my feet. Father simply nodded and gestured for me to begin.

His silence annoyed me, but I had to trust him. "Very well."

Without looking where my hand went, I closed my eyes and stretched my arm out to my left, letting the renewed, albeit weakened, flow of magic rush to the tips of my fingers as a new warmth cascaded forth. Aveline's room back at her flat came to my mind, and where my staff had been was the primary location. I ripped my hand into the air like a beast slashing into the aether, and as I opened my eyes, a portal had opened. Weak and rather small, but it was enough for me to reach my arm in and grab hold of the staff itself. I looked up to meet fathers' eyes and smirked with his heavily intrigued expression as I pulled my staff through the portal and into our space.

The portal closed as the blade of my staff finally came through in the end. I twirled it effortlessly in my hand and pressed the tip of the metal blade against the flooring. Father eyed me carefully then motioned towards my shirt. I set the staff in place, letting it remain stationary with a minute spell as I redressed. It felt almost foreign to have this sensation of magic course through my entire body. But it felt so natural that I wasn't about to complain. As I returned to the staff, father had kept his eyes on me.

"Clearly you are no amateur, Garrett." He nodded in approval. "However… The spell you cast to retrieve this is quite advanced." He tapped a finger on the staff and the orb at the top glowed faintly. "Who trained you? I recall you saying something about Tevinter? How in the Makers' name did you get there?" He didn't seem mad, but rather confused.

"Master Danarius was the one who trained me, as was he the one who carted me all the way to the Tevinter Imperium. You, and everyone present, got to witness my Tevene firsthand. I'm fluent in both old and new Tevene thanks to my Master. He… he was an excellent teacher when we first were together. He… he was never cruel to me until a few years ago… Something changed him. He was a kind man who wanted to see me succeed in every aspect of magic I could. I know so many spells that most would deem advanced for the age that I was. I learned that rift spell when I was seventeen. I learned how to teleport at the same age… among others as well." I rubbed my wrists absently. "I don't know why he truly branded me with these runes. The inhibitors were put in place about… five years ago?"

"Why?" Father took my hand again and looked over where the brand once was.

"I don't know." I said weakly. "It was around that time that Master Danarius started to… change… he started demanding things of me that he never had before. And he started experimenting on me more and more. He threw me into the fade, forced me to start fighting, and… other things I really don't want to talk about." I dropped my gaze towards the door, and he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Then I won't pry. You can tell me when you're ready. Okay? Also, I do recommend that you don't show your scars to your mother. You'll never hear the end of it."

"I had no intention of showing her anyway." I admitted rather coldly. I glanced at the orb at the top of my staff and let my hand ghost over it. Magic pulled and pushed between my palm and the orb and soon it glowed a warm crimson colour. The warm light filled the room and I found myself smiling at it. I glanced towards my father to see him also smiling.

"Do you think you're ready to face the guests once again?" He asked as he headed towards the door. "Are you feeling… better? You lost a lot of blood." Father watched me sway rather precariously, then helped me sit back down. "Do you need me to stay with you, just in case?"

I nod.

Together we waited for about ten or so minutes and, as the dizzy feeling finally left, I got to my feet and nod.

"I think I'm ready."

I paused short of the door as he began to lead again.

"I'm sorry for yelling… and panicking. I genuinely don't know who that woman is and based on her behaviour, I have zero intention of ever getting to know her."

"Between you and me; I don't really think anyone liked having her around. She was obsessed with you and kept asking about you even though she knew you were gone up until now.. Now, let us rejoin the merriment and for you to meet the rest of the family. I assure you that they're not as awful as your uncle Gamlen or Aunt Inani." He laughed as he unlocked the door and headed out into the hall. I followed with a hollow chuckle. Now I could look about the hallway, and note that it was decorated a bit differently than the first floor. A bit more modestly, but still fit to exist in a manor of this size. A few flower filled vases here and there, there was even a full suit of armor standing vigilant at the corner where the top of the stairs met the landing. How interesting. More portraits of animals or landscapes lined the walls between other various paintings. At the top of the stairwell was a family portrait. My mother, father, two people I would assume were my Grandparents, my twin sister and myself, and then I could assume the smaller duo were my younger siblings…

I rested my hand on the painting and looked up at it. We looked so happy together. I wish I could remember…

Father must have seen me staring at it and stopped on the first step leading down.

"You were so excited to have your portrait done. Probably the most out of the four of you, and not even just that but you made damn sure your siblings were in top condition for it. Carver certainly hated it but… I miss those days. Before everything fell apart." He turned his head towards the bottom of the stairs as I joined him and looked down to see a few people gathered around the base.

"What's all this then?" Father called down with a laugh. "Don't look so sullen, just make Merry and enjoy."

"Oh, there he is!" Marian chimed from the small gathering, pointing up at me with apparent relief. "We were just about to go looking for you again."

"No need." I said. "I didn't get too far before he brought me back in. Just needed to collect myself before I came back." Thankfully no one seemed to have heard me screaming.

There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief as the group disbanded and headed back to the living room. One person remained at the foot of the stairwell, and it was an elven man with short white hair.

"Leto!" I said, rather eagerly, and gently moved past my father down the stairs to meet the handsome elf. "It's, ah, good to see you!"

Leto smiled and tilted his head. "You seem to cause quite a stir wherever you go, Garrett."

That got a chuckle out of me, but all the same, father shouldered past me and headed into the kitchen.

"I was helping Leandra, Lady Bethann, Solara, and Orana in the kitchen with dinner preparations. I was told that you were here so I… Was hoping to get to talk to you." I felt my face heat up a bit and cleared my throat.

"Well, I'm here now." I said, now heading towards the foyer to remove my boots. I left my coat upstairs. Oops. "Who are Solara and Orana?" I asked.

"Solara and Orana are two elven servants your family has in their employ. They're very kind and are remarkably wonderful cooks.- Anyway, why were you up there?" Leto questioned quietly. God I love his voice…

"Ah… father was… helping me calm down a bit. I needed a bit of a pep talk before coming back down." I noticed his gaze fixed on the staff balanced against my shoulder.

"I didn't realize you were a mage." I saw a twinge of disapproval in his eyes as he looked it over, but it disappeared as he met my gaze. I should have put it back…

"Oh, uh, yes. I've just been keeping a low profile on that since I didn't know how the rest of you would react to it."

He shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Well, Bethany, Merrill, Anders, and Eris are all mages so I am fairly certain that the rest will be alright with your being of a magical persuasion." He playfully bumped me with his shoulder and gestured towards the living room with his head.

"Want to get a drink with me?" Is he coming on to me? My face warmed again and I grinned. I did promise Marian I would drink with her as well. As far as I remembered, I was a super affectionate drunk.

"I promised Mary I'd have my first drink with her, but… Yeah, I'd like to." We walked together to the living room where I was greeted rather warmly and welcomed back by the rest. As I scanned the room, I noticed that Dana was nowhere to be seen. Nor was the older gentleman that had been with her. That was kind of a relief.

Father sidled up to me and whispered: "Apparently Miss Dana's behaviour was too embarrassing for her father to want to remain, so they left."

"Thank the Maker." I said quietly with a sigh. In the corner of the room, I saw Odin facing the wall with his head down. He put himself in timeout… silly hound.

I passed by the others and headed towards my dog, but the little Qunari girl beat me to him and reached out to pet him.

"No wait-!" It was a bit too late to stop her as Odin flinched and turned about towards her, his fur bristled and he growled deeply towards her. She didn't back away from him and just giggled with her hands behind her back.

"You a good doggie!" She said gleefully, and reached to pat his head. The mighty hound seemed to calm immediately and relaxed to her touch. "Pat pat pat!" She squished his face a little but that still worried me. I hurried over there anyway and gently knelt down next to her and him.

"Odin is a good boy, isn't he?" I asked her and she continued to pet him. His tail wagged furiously.

"Does such a good job protecting people." I gently reached towards him and let him sniff my hand before I gave him some good long pets on that velvety head of his. "A very very good boy." Kii'rana said goodbye to Odin and ran back to Avvar. I remained with Odin and gently pulled him into a hug.

"You're my very good boy. You just wanted to protect me from that mean girl didn't you? Such a good boy… I'm sorry for raising my voice." More pets. He panted happily, licked the side of my head then propped his giant friggin paws on either of my shoulders in his form of a hug.

"Sei il mio bravo ragazzo.." (You're my good boy.")

I gently pushed him back and got to my feet, then turned to face Leto as he came up to me. He had gorgeous green eyes… and I… kind of lost myself in them for a moment.

"Perché devi essere così bello?" (Why must you be so handsome?) I whispered softly.

"Garrett?" Leto gently poked my nose, which definitely startled me. "Are you alright?" He seemed like he was blushing.

"Hm? Oh, yes I'm fine." Odin rubbed his face against my leg and I laughed nervously as he slightly nudged me forward. "Marian!" I waved her over, and she obliged readily, also giving Leto a big hug.

"Thanks for helping in the kitchen, Leto." she said, holding him at arm's length. His ears perked up a bit (which was absolutely adorable, I had no idea elf ears did that.)

"It was nothing. It was a big job and I felt that I should help out." He looked between us both, then towards the rest of the crew who had been enjoying some snacks and watching whatever the hell it was on the television. (It looked like some sporting event but I don't give a flyin' fuck about sports) "Why don't we have a drink together? All of us?" He beamed.

I smiled at Marian, and she smiled back at me.

"Sounds like a plan!" Marian turned about towards the rest of the group that had settled around a large table, and whistled for them. "OY! You lot! Let's get a drink and have a toast to the evening!" I definitely think Marian's the leader of this "Kirkwall Crew" as everyone in the group let out a cheer. I wonder if this was what true camaraderie was like… Just thinking about how kind everyone has been, and how wonderful these people have been to me, save for the obvious who will no longer be mentioned…

As Leto and I headed back towards the group to retrieve our drinks, his voice was a hushed whisper, but I heard him respond in Tevene.

"Forse per avere una possibilità con un uomo come te." (Perhaps to have a chance with a man like you.)

My face burned and the stupid grin on my face remained.

All of us grabbed a drink and settled in, with Marian to my right and Leto to my left with our elbows linked together, and the rest of the party gathered around us. The groups' kids all elsewhere playing, and a card game at the center of the table with some dice scattered about. Aveline with a disapproving glare at the lads involved, Varric laughing like a madman being two cups down for the evening. Anders and Karl chatted between one another, Eris and Merrill settled together under the same blanket and talked about some shit that I didn't want to eavesdrop on. Avvar with Isabela in his lap, and the similar spark of jealousy on my end. A merry evening as it was.

We each raised a glass, gave a cheer;

"To the long lost Hawke, finally reunited with the clan!" Marian stood in her chair with her glass held high, and the rest of us raised ours in response. Eyes were on me, but this time, no judgments were found. All I felt was a warm and friendly environment that welcomed me in. We cheered again and drank. Marian plopped back in her seat and wrapped her arms around me, and I around her. I never felt so loved in my entire life.

I genuinely felt like I could join them and be one of their number… Yeah… that sounds like a good idea. I can have my friends, and… maybe start over in more ways than one…

The night came to a close, and we all settled around to watch as the New Year came to be. The countdown began…

5…

Merrill and Eris draped an arm around one another, eagerly staring up at the tv. Avvar held Kii'rana and Daevi in his arms, hugging them both tight.

4…

Isabela and Leto both rested on either side of me. Both of them held one of my hands and each gave a squeeze. I don't think my heart could handle this much excitement.

3…

Marian and her children settled on the floor just nearby, occasionally glancing towards me and beaming.

2…

My parents held each other, and sat behind the lot of us. The other guests all around were in preparation for the new year.

1…

Aveline and Varric finally settled on a drink and sat side-by-side, calmly.

0…

As the ball dropped, everyone in the room shouted with excitement, glasses were raised and several kisses were exchanged.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"