AUTHOR'S NOTE: VERY IMPORTANT
Please check out my Tumblr,eleanore-delphinium.
There is an IMPORTANT POLL: 02/14/2023 (for one week)
Please check the poll because it asks if I should essentially just write the summary of the fic because I update it so late.
~.~.~.~.~.~.
Diluc Ragnvindr had returned to Mondstadt a few months ago, a little after Grand Master Varka left and handed the position of Grandmaster of the Favonius Knights to Jean temporarily.
Jean and Diluc were cordial, to say the least.
When they first saw each other, Jean was rather busy as Acting Grandmaster that they only exchanged a few words which started a trend between the two of them.
A short greeting and then polite chatter and then they would part. They were almost the perfect stranger. It was clear though, that there was a certain heaviness between the two but neither of them addressed the elephant in the room.
Currently, Jean was at Windrise looking at the Statue of Barbatos at night, this felt like a familiar scene. She heard faint footsteps approaching her and she turned her head a little, seeing black shoes and the familiar black pants and the fur at the edge of the coat. She didn't need to look further to know who it was and so she returned her gaze to the statue.
This indeed is a familiar scene.
She closed her eyes temporarily and she recalled the time when he comforted her in this very place over her parents' divorce. She sighed softly; it was such a long time ago.
"Diluc." She greeted as she opened her gray eyes, admiring the glowing beauty of the statue of Barbatos.
He did not respond and instead, a soft breeze teased her. It has been so long…
Diluc Ragnvindr, merely stood there studying her. He looked rather conflicted. He had been back at Mondstadt for months, and yet, he never got to talk to her.
Could never exchange a meaningful conversation.
"Jean." He called her name and it was barely audible.
"Diluc…" She replied in a soft whisper. He gazed at her as he stood to her right while she fully faced the statue.
"Jean." He blinked, his eyes fluttering. It was a name he never forgot. For the four years that he was away, he kept thinking of her.
A pressed smile was on her lips as she turned to him, the wind blew and she held her bangs against her ear. "Diluc." She greeted him with a sad smile.
Jean wasn't quite sure that she was ready to see or talk to him. But this was bound to happen. Even if she wanted to avoid it.
They would have to meet and talk.
At that moment, the two remained quiet, staring at one another with gentle expressions. No one said a word, it was like they didn't want to run the peace. For at this moment, it was like they never been apart for those four cold and painful years.
But eventually, the silence was broken. Things had to be said.
In all honesty, Jean waited for him with all her heart, but as the years passed, the waiting became difficult. Seeing him well was all that she could ever ask for– for him in her prayers to Barbatos, for her mental health and her waning heart.
"I owe you an explanation." He said abruptly as he took a step forward, the fear in his eyes and voice clear.
The words, 'You're acting like I will disappear any moment now.' was at the tip of her tongue. She gave him a pressed smile instead as she turned her back to him.
It seemed that Jean was not yet ready to talk about it, "You have nothing to explain."
"No! I do, Jean. The promise I told you before I left to–," He paused and then swallowed the nervousness. "Escort my father… I still remember. I had something for you."
With his prompting, Jean recalled the last time she saw him. And his retreating figure on the horse.
Jean closed her eyes and inhaled deeply but in a soundless manner, afraid to be heard by him.
"I had everything planned, I promised you that I had something for you when I returned." Diluc's voice was gentle, so different from what he sounded like whenever they met in public these couple of months.
The tone in his voice since he had returned was clearly of a man who had experienced a great loss. At this moment, as he talked to her, she almost believed that he was the young man who had just turned eighteen, who promised her something before he left.
But that was all gone– and that time had passed. They both know this.
"I wanted to propose to you." He said and she froze– eyes wide open, her heart beating loudly. But she had to calm herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath again. "On that day, I wanted to formally ask you out, get engaged, get to know each other than eventually get married."
Behind her fluttering eyelids, the sweet dream he had for them flashed before her eyes.
Jean opened her eyes carefully and there was nothing but resolution there. "I never held you to it." She said, trying her best to control her voice and she controlled it perfectly.
It was a sweet dream he gave to her tonight.
"I never blamed you for leaving. In fact, I think that if what happened to you had happened to me, I would have reacted the same way." Jean mumbled. "So, don't be so hard on yourself."
"I… I had personally made several barrels of wine to give to you and your family as my gift to you along with my proposal." He confessed and she silently licked her lips.
She could see it, the young eighteen-year-old Diluc making wine with his own hands to give to her. She inhaled deeply again and expelled the thoughts that followed after his confession.
"I think you should talk to Kaeya. He doesn't say it, but he does miss you a lot." Jean settled with these words as the wind blew across Vannessa's tree and the rustling was the only thing that followed.
She did not turn to look at him.
Jean knew she shouldn't. She didn't want to see the look on his face. She shouldn't allow himself to change her mind and answer.
Their moment had passed.
"You know," She placed her hands behind her back as she tilted her head, and brushed the side of her shoe against the ground as she studied the field. "Kaeya looks up to you, even though he doesn't say it. I know he does." She fell quiet and then added, "And regarding that promise you made years ago… forget about it, we were kids. It wasn't like you said it then, so we don't have to hold onto an unsaid promise."
The two quietly inhaled, the tension in the air high. As she exhaled, she turned to look at him with a warm smile. "Maybe you can spare me a bottle of that wine?"
Diluc's heart fluttered at the sight, and maybe, if he didn't leave the way he did, she would have welcomed him home like this every day.
But she was right, he didn't get to propose to her then. And so the promise was never made. And yet, he still wanted to tell her his true intentions then. Because maybe, it was still something he wanted if she was willing to have it with him.
~.~.~.~.~.~
Jean arrived at the Headquarters of the Knights of Favonius rather late. She was walking through the dark halls, with Diluc's confession ringing in her ears.
It was something that he didn't need to say, she kind of wished he didn't. But to be honest, that moment would creep into her mind often– before he left with his father telling her he had something to say. Because she didn't know what he had planned– what he had wanted to do.
At least now she knows what it was. With that, she felt at peace. She chuckled as she entered her office. Diluc must have been haunted by how he left, and he needed to tell her the truth.
The thought of being married to him warmed her heart up. But it seemed that their time had already passed.
Before she could erase the smile from her face, she heard Kaeya's voice interrogate her, "Oh? Do you know what time is it? Where have you been?" His blue head popped up from the couch.
She was not shocked that he was there in her office at all. She merely shook her head, "Kaeya." She greeted him as she closed the door and approached her desk.
"Oh, you can't be serious, Acting Grandmaster." Kaeya sat up as he faced her desk.
"I have work to do." She mumbled as she sat on her desk.
"Jean. You have to sleep." Kaeya crossed his arms and Jean shook her head as she rolled her eyes at him.
"You know I can't." A curt reply.
Kaeya rolled his eyes, "Fine, where have you been?" He lay on the couch. But Jean does not reply. Kaeya sighed as he stared at the ceiling quietly.
This was not Varka's office, this was Jean's actual office located on the second floor. At night, this was where she would coop herself up.
"If you faint because of lack of sleep, Barbara would blame me." Kaeya almost sang with his lips pressed afterward.
Jean, who was about to pick at the papers in front of her, frowned. "I won't tell her if you don't."
Kaeya sat up again, his arms and legs crossed. "No. You know I can't lie to her…" He glanced away from her shyly.
"Ah, yes, since you are here…" Jean's voice trailed off and Kaeya's face was bright red.
"I-I… I have been avoiding her and-and–" He covered his face. "I don't think she noticed me avoiding her!"
Jean chuckled as she stared at him. No one would have known that Kaeya was such a person. She only saw this side of him. "But why are you so concerned?" She tilted her head.
"Jean… I have something to confess–" He peeked at her from between two fingers and she stared at him seriously with a slightly raised brow. "I– I like your sister." He covered his face and Jean smiled a little as she picked up a file. "I- I don't know when it happened– and I didn't mean to, I am so–" Not receiving a response he stopped and withdrew his hands from his face to look at Jean.
She was quietly looking at the paper with a small frown on her lips, then she glanced at him when his voice ceased. "It isn't a secret, Diluc and I knew since we were kids– the moment you saw her."
Kaeya's blush disappeared and he almost looked very disgusted. "Oh, hearing that from you, it just isn't right." He shook his head and shivered.
"What does that mean?" Jean put the paper down and he glanced at her in a sneering manner.
"If you are still asking then– tsk tsk…" He shook his head and she rolled her eyes.
Kaeya was just being Kaeya it seemed.
"Uhm… which gets me to– if she asks if I am avoiding her, please don't tell her." He smiled weakly.
Jean crossed her arms and stared at Kaeya firmly, "Just tell her."
"What! No! My reputation!" Kaeya wailed and Jean just stared.
"Then sit there quietly while I work, I need to go over these, it would be better if you help out," Jean mumbled.
"Oh, I'd rather help, the faster you finish, the higher chances of you sleeping earlier. You have no idea how scary Barbara can be…" He got up on his feet and went to her.
Jean sighed, "I have heard you tell me how much you like her more than a couple of times already, and yet you have done nothing about it. Do you have any intentions of asking my sister out?"
Kaeya froze, standing beside her. "Oh no, no, I…I am too ashamed."
"You were the one who made your reputation look so colorful." Jean shook her head lightly.
"It was for my job!" He whined and she chuckled.
Kaeya at the very least seemed to be more relaxed behind closed doors with her whenever he talks like this. Barbara often would talk to her sister about her slight worries over Kaeya and hoped that he at least takes time to just be Kaeya and not the Cavalry Captain. And in these kinds of moments, late at night, when he seeks her to rant about his nonexistent love life, he seems less tense. Less Cavalry Captain and more of a childhood friend that she grew up with.
"Well, the flirty nature is a good plus when getting information." Jean had to quietly agree because she was quite aware of how his silver tongue helped the Knights of Favonius on many occasions.
Jean glanced up from the papers and was surprised to see Kaeya's face so close to her but only for a second. In the next second, she marveled at his beauty. She understood why a lot of people swooned over him; his personality was rather pleasing– but she wasn't like them. Even though she saw the appeal, he wasn't as appealing to her compared to someone who had re–.
Kaeya cleared his throat, "Don't fall in love with me." He flatly said, staring at her, their lips were so close.
But the two were used to this proximity, but it did not entail that they liked one another romantically or were involved with each other in such a manner.
Jean rolled her eyes, "And steal you from Barbara? Never." Jean brought her eyes back to the papers before them as she rubbed her temples.
Kaeya sighed and pulled back, "This is why I told you to sleep, you are having another headache aren't you?"
Jean didn't glance at him as she pulled her fingers off her temple, "Nonsense, and if I did– it is an occupational hazard." She picked up the paper again which Kaeya swiped from her.
"Occupational hazard my ass, no. You are going to that couch and you are going to sleep. I will deal with these for now." Kaeya was very serious.
Jean crossed her arms and raised a brow at him, "I'm sorry, what is your position in the Knights?"
Kaeya froze, his lips quivering. "N-no. Barbara would hound us endlessly if I relent to your lack of care for yourself. If you can't care for yourself, then I will do it for you."
Jean chuckled and shook her head, "It seems like you are more afraid of Barbara than me, maybe she should join the Knights?" She gave him a teasing smile, and his face started to turn pink.
"Ple-please don't," Kaeya mumbled and Jean burst out laughing.
"Fine. You win." Jean relented, raising her hands up in the air. "If I don't listen to you, Barbara would also hound me about your health." She shook her head again. "I swear she got us wrapped on her finger."
She walked around him and as she was going to the couch, Kaeya grabbed her wrist.
"Who were you with?" He suddenly asked, the seriousness in his tone quite different from when he was telling her to take a rest.
This time it was Jean who couldn't help the blush creep on her face at the memory of what happened earlier that night. "I- I don't understand why it's important." She pried his fingers off of her.
"It was Diluc, wasn't it," Kaeya observed her reaction carefully.
Jean's blush is gone, "Why do you think so?"
"I can smell it– very faintly, his scent is on you." Jean visibly frowned at Kaeya's words and shook him off and gave a rueful smile and made her way to the couch.
Jean found it hard to believe that Kaeya could detect Diluc's scent on her, they were maybe four meters away from each other.
"Your skills… you should know it is an invaluable asset to the Knights of Favonius." Jean and Kaeya shared a firm but quiet stare before her back was completely facing him.
Kaeya pressed his lips and watched her remove her capelet, neatly folding it and placing it on the coffee table. Jean lay on the couch with her head facing him.
She stared at him, "Wake me if you need me, Kaeya." Her gaze was firm, the gaze of someone deserving to be Acting Grandmaster.
Kaeya placed a closed fist over his heart and bowed a little, "Of course, Master Jean." He solemnly spoke as he watched her eyes flutter shut.
"See you are tired." He sighed and plopped on the chair. "The things I do for love." He shook his head.
Kaeya had been reading over the papers and noted important bits for Jean to read through for hours now. When he looked up from the pile of papers, he noticed that Jean appeared to look uncomfortable. He also glanced at the clock only to see that it was three in the morning.
He chuckled coldly as he got up, "I guess I should stop here." He smiled to himself and shrugged arranging the papers. Afterward, he made his way to Jean who looked cold.
He sighed and took off his pelisse and put it over Jean's neck and her torso.
"Diluc…" She mumbled and gave a sigh, her brows a little etched together.
Kaeya pressed his lips as he tucked his pelisse around Jean carefully so as to not wake her. She would call his brother's name from time to time and it would bring a wave of guilt to him every time he heard her call for Diluc.
He felt like he was at fault as to why they were robbed of four years to be together.
Maybe the reason he looked out for her meticulously was because of this guilt.
Kaeya sighed and crouched over her, "I'm sorry." He whispered so very very softly.
Kaeya left Jean a note and placed it on top of her capelet, telling her where he had stopped and what he was able to do, and that she better take care of herself. And then very quietly left the room.
When he was outside he quickly studied the hall, glad that no one had seen him. He really didn't need to be feeding more into the rumors of him and Jean being a couple.
He should really try and do something about it. But if he sneaks into her office through the windows– it would be much much worse.
He sighed aloud as he stepped onto the first floor of the Headquarters.
"Oh, Kaeya, look at the time– where is your pelisse?" Kaeya froze, it was a very familiar voice. If he ran, he wondered if he would look like a coward. Hell, he would rather run right now.
He turned around stiffly and there on the flight of stairs, a few steps higher than him was Lisa with crossed arms and a teasing smile.
"Whatever is on your mind– is not what is going on." Kaeya smiled at the beautiful librarian. And Lisa walked down the stairs and wrapped an arm around Kaeya's shoulder.
"Now, dearie, you and I both know who you were with." She smiled, the smile on her lips brought shivers down his spine.
"Yes, but not whatever you are thinking…" Kaeya mumbled, scared someone was awake and would overhear them.
"You mean… you didn't help Jean to sleep?" Lisa said with a very innocent face that Kaeya felt rather conflicted.
He did not respond automatically, "There is no right response to that."
Lisa smiled slyly, "Oh, don't worry dearie, it's a secret between you and me." She winked.
~.~.~.~.~.~
Please check the poll because it asks if I should essentially just write the summary of the fic because I update it so late.
It is in my tumblr: eleanore-delphinium