Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringment intended. I am simply taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe. Set in Season 7 after Death Knell.

Rating: Currently T, but may change depending on my muse. Any rating changes will be announced at the start of the chapter.

A/N: Contains a Major Character Death. Trigger Warning for suicide further down the track, so please keep this in mind. This is my first published FanFic, so reviews are appreciated. I have read lots of SG-1 FanFic (shout out to AkamaiMom and MiniGoat for many of my favourites), quite a few of those including the Quantum Mirror. I have no beta, so all mistakes are my own. **Edit** Just noticed the floor split is on level 11, not level 17. It is fixed now.

Chapter 1: Loss

I sat there, in her darkened lab, fiddling with the slip of paper she'd given me. Fold. Unfold. Fold. Flecks of her blood had soaked through the flimsy note, an echo of her voice pleading with me to live for 'us both' ringing in my mind. I had given little thought to what she had meant by those words, too busy trying to stop her life from fading away. Then, she was gone. The last remnants of my soul gone with her. A single tear slipped down my cheek, my thoughts still focused on the feel of her cooling body in my arms and lap as the life slowly ebbed away from her, and from me. I shivered without being cold.

That thing had chased her relentlessly, and she'd survived. Until I arrived. If only… any number of things had happened: I had gotten there sooner, I had been with her from the start, I had run to her and taken the chip and the shot myself – then maybe… just maybe she would still be here. Maybe. If only. As soon as I had thrown the prototype weapon to her, I moved towards her. Despite her injuries, she was still a fighting machine, taking the super soldier down with a single well aimed shot. Sam's shot hit its mark moments before its shot hit its target. Her. My Sam. My love. My saviour. I watched – seemingly in slow motion – as her body was flung backwards from the force.

"CARTER!"

I ran with everything I had, ignoring the jarring pain in my knees. I heard the gasping first, before seeing her rapidly paling pallor, and finally the growing pool of blood seeping into the sandy ground. Dropping down immediately and pulling her to me.

"Sam, honey… I've got you, stay with me!" I cried, my hands pressing hard against the wound on her chest. "TEAL'C!" I yelled, seeing him already running toward me. Time seemed to be standing still.

"Jack!" She gasped, her fingers scrabbling in her BDU pocket for the very slip of paper I now held. "Take… take…" She faltered and sobbed, pain flickering across her face.

"It's OK. We're gonna get you home." I grabbed it and shoved in my pocket, not caring what it was, or what it meant. "Just stay with me."

"O'Neill!"

"Dial the gate Teal'c, then come and help me, and get Jacob!" With a swift nod, he left and ran toward the gate. I looked back at Sam. The love of my life. The woman who filled the chasmic void left in my soul by the death of Charlie.

"Go to…" She gulped in a breath, "…her. You have… have t-to live… for us b-b-both now." She struggled before crying out again. Her breathing turned to gasping, sweat pouring off her face, her hands shaking – cold and clammy – she reached for my face, her fingers feathering down my cheek and over my lips. The metallic taste of her blood seeped through to my tongue. I didn't stop my tears.

"Sam… no… I can't… I won't… please!" I sobbed. So much for the tough Air Force Colonel – a veteran of black ops – he disappeared inch by inch as I rocked her. My hands pressed into her bleeding chest, the warm stickiness of it pulsing with each beat, before coalescing on my hands and forearms. My uniform more red than green, the sand beneath her, red and congealing.

"Sh-she knows, sh-she can h-help y-you." She stammered, her breathing turning dangerously fast, her eyes glazing. "I… love… you… J-Jack. A-al-ways." She huffed out before jerking in my arms and falling still. I watched as the light left her beautiful blue eyes, all pain and expression dropping from her face, her hand falling away from my face.

"Sam… Sam…" I shook her, "Sam… honey… no… please…" I whispered. I hauled her lifeless body further into my arms and pressed my lips to her forehead and then her lips.

I could still hear the guttural scream I'd let go in that moment ringing in my ears. Teal'c and Jacob reached our location shortly afterwards. Teal'c stood quietly by my side, Jacob dropped to his knees to cradle both me and Sam, despite being injured himself. His quiet words thick with emotion as he pried his dead daughter out of my arms so that Teal'c could carry her home. I couldn't even tell you what he had said. We were equals now; both having outlived their child and the love of their life. Sam. Debra. Charlie. Sam.

The clearing of a throat had me looking up from my place. My commanding officer stood staring back at me, his eyes rimmed red and eyes glassy.

"Son…" He started.

I looked back down. I didn't need or want his words of understanding. The 'it wasn't your fault' and 'you did all you could do' phrases felt empty and hollow. As empty and hollow as I was feeling. She was my final step on the road to recovery that Daniel had set me on years ago after I lost Charlie.

"Yes, George." I answered, purposely addressing him casually. He gave me a look. I didn't care anymore. I was done. I had wanted to retire for years, my most recent effort came after she returned from being stranded on the Prometheus for 4 days. I was a bear while she was missing and short with everyone, behaviour a CO should not exhibit. Not that being her CO had stopped me driving to her house the night she was medically cleared. It hadn't stopped me from pulling her into my arms, kissing her, confessing my love to her, or making sweet love to her until the sun came up the next morning. Nearly seven years of following the rules. We both ditched the rule book that night and almost every night since, determined to make up for all the nights we had wanted to comfort each other. The General hadn't known about that though.

"I see." He replied.

"No Sir, I don't think you do." I murmured.

"Jack." Hammond said again. He was standing beside me now. I didn't even see him move. "Did you two… were you…" He stopped when I looked at him. It didn't matter anymore; the Air Force couldn't court martial a dead woman. I didn't care about my career; it was always about hers.

I nodded, my face scrunched slightly at the pain coursing through my heart, "Since Prometheus." I winced at the thought of how long we had denied our feelings. "Best 3 weeks of my life, Sir."

He sighed, "Look, I know what you're going through…" He started.

I'd had it with everyone thinking they understood. I snapped. "You know? With all due respect Sir, have you ever lost the love of your life after being forced apart for years because somewhere someone decided that honour and duty, and openly loving someone were mutually exclusive?"

"Colonel! I don't write the rules, but they are there for a reason! Don't think you are the only one affected by the loss of Major Carter. She was like a daughter to me!"

"Of course, you loved her…" I stood up to face him, "…but they won't court-martial you now will they, Sir! But me…" I shouted, "I had to watch everything I did, every touch, every look, every bit of concern. They would not let me love her the way she deserved! And now she is gone, and so am I. I'm done." I ground out.

The General scowled, "We'll talk about this tomorrow when you are in your right mind. Doctor Fraiser is waiting for you, then perhaps you'd better get out of those clothes."

"What! You want it in writing?" I grabbed one of Carter's post-it notes and a pen and scrawled messily 'I resign' and signed it. "There, in writing." I flopped back down on the chair.

Hammond nodded, "Not accepted! Get cleaned up Jack, see Fraiser and then go home."

I chuckled mirthlessly, "Home. Where is that now?" I asked the room. Hammond patted my shoulder. I reached for the bloodied paper again.

"Take some time Jack." He said, then left.

"Yeah." I replied, looking down at the note again. It didn't make sense to me. I remembered the night my Sam had told me about how she'd kept in touch with Samantha O'Neill from the other reality all these years. That had surprised me since she'd been mad at me for kissing her.

"So, for the last four – nearly five – years, you've spoken to your alternate reality twin?" I clarified, holding her to me in post-coital bliss.

"Not spoken to, just notes, birthday cards, letters… flowers every year on the date that he…" She trailed off, a deep breath leaving her lips. "That she lost her you. It's been hard for her Jack. I'm sad to say that I didn't really understand, but now I do… I finally get it." She said, leaning her chin on my chest. "Now that I have finally stopped fighting and hiding from how I feel, I cannot imagine my life without you in it. I am sorry that it took me so long." I smiled and ran my fingers through her hair.

"How do you know which one she is from? Doesn't it shut down and randomise each time?" I asked. She smiled brightly at my burst of intelligence that she now knew for certain that I had been hiding it.

"Yes, we have a code. With each message, card, thing, is a phrase in our code that will be written on the whiteboard. Each time one of us makes contact we change the phrase on the board and leave a new note." She smiled again.

"What kind of phrase?"

"Oh, funny things, quotes from movies, O'Neillism's." She giggled. I didn't bother telling her to stop giggling when we were alone, since my reaction to it was generally very welcomed by her. This time was no different despite my recent release.

"O'Neillism's?" I laughed.

"Yeah, your catch phrases, things you'd say and do, what we loved… well in my case, love most about you." She smiled, shifting forward, and kissing me, then throwing her leg over my hips for round two.

Suddenly I had to know what this note read, but I had no idea how to decipher it. I began reaching for her laptop. Just before I opened it, I decided it would be best done away from here. I looked around and found Sam's laptop bag. Grabbing it, I quickly packed up her laptop, mouse, and charger. I smiled sadly, remembering the time she called me frantically asking if I'd left the base yet and if not, could I drop her charger off to her. It didn't matter to me that her house was another 15 minutes' drive past my house. I'd learned long ago that I would do anything for her. Shouldering the bag, I made a beeline for the elevator. I lingered in the car looking between the buttons for 21 and 11, then down at my blood-soaked uniform. Running my fingers over all that I had left of the woman I loved, a sharp tinge of pain ripped through me. My decision made, I hit the button.