Chapter 16 – Truce

Author's Note: I am so sorry for posting this a week late. *sobs* I genuinely thought it was already posted, and if someone hadn't commented, asking when I'll update again, I'm not sure I would have even realized until March. Lol.

Alsoooo... this is the end of the fourth arc. The fifth and last arc picks up right after this one leaves off. :)

WARNING: Depression and lots of angst.

~ Amina Gila

Dooku does not come back, and Obi-Wan has no idea how much time has passed, either. Thrice, a droid has brought him food, but he's not wholly convinced that the length of time between each meal is equal; he suspects that it's not, that Dooku is trying to unbalance him by making him question how long he's been here, if it's been days or even weeks.

He does not think it has been weeks, but he has no way of telling the time either.

And then, suddenly, the cell door slides open again. Dooku is there, standing in the back, but that's not what makes Obi-Wan freeze in place, blood running cold. Two MagnaGuards are in the front, and between them is an all-too-familiar limp figure. Anakin.

The droids throw Anakin into the cell, and he would have hit his head on the floor if Obi-Wan hadn't darted forward to catch him. The angle is awkward, and without the Force to bolster him, the most he can do is slow Anakin's fall. He doesn't move, though, expression lax.

"What did you do to him?" Obi-Wan snarls, glaring at Dooku.

"A gift," Dooku answers, a thin smile on his face, "To give you motivation. Don't take too long to call me back. I don't think his body could handle it."

And then, he waves a hand, the doors closing and cutting off the faint trickle of the Force. Obi-Wan feels nauseous as the realization sinks in. Anakin has never handled Force restraints well – they do not work on him, and they leave him dizzy for hours afterwards – but this, this is torture plain and simple. Anakin's body cannot handle being cut off from the Force; it would kill him.

He clenches his hands, taking slow, even breaths as he checks Anakin for injuries. He finds nothing, though he doesn't know if he's more relieved by that or not. No injuries means that Anakin was probably electrocuted unconscious – not that he can do anything about it either way regardless, without the Force to help him.

It's only now that Obi-Wan actually lets it sink in that Anakin is here.

He has not seen Anakin in weeks, ever since he left the Order, and he had feared that he would not see him again for months – or worse, maybe ever. And yet, here Anakin is, lying on the floor next to him, alive and breathing. For now, at least. But even given that he's been captured, Anakin does not look good. At all. He doesn't seem to have eaten properly – much less slept – in... days. Maybe even longer. Probably longer, if Obi-Wan had to guess.

Reaching out, he traces a finger along Anakin's cheekbone, feeling its prominence, and a pang of emotion spears into him. Anakin is hurting, has been hurting for so long, and Obi-Wan never did anything about it. This is his fault, isn't it?

He thinks it might be, but he doesn't know when, exactly, Anakin started spiraling downhill. They need to talk. They needed to talk a long time ago probably, but Obi-Wan has never known how. He has never known how to get Anakin to open up, when to push him to talk, and all of his efforts only seem to make Anakin shut down more. He doesn't know. He doesn't know anymore what he needs to do.

For so long, he has tried to help Anakin, tried to teach him how to be a good Jedi, the best Jedi. Maybe he failed at that, somehow, somewhere along the way. Anakin left the Order. (Left him.) Obi-Wan never taught him to do that. He taught him how to sacrifice for the greater good. He taught him, or tried to, how to let go, but... despite it, Anakin still struggled, and he's never understood why.

Maybe he never tried hard enough.

A quiet noise, almost a whimper, escapes from Anakin, and Obi-Wan tightens his grip on him, lightly brushing back a hair. "Anakin," he calls, shaking him lightly. "Anakin, wake up."

"What?" Anakin mumbles, still sounding half out-of-it. "I don't –" He cuts himself off with a choked gasp, and his eyes open, the blue of them dull and glazed. He blinks at Obi-Wan, squinting as if he doesn't recognize him. "Master," he says, before Obi-Wan can actually panic, "I can't – I can't feel anything." He sounds just on this side of hysteria, and Obi-Wan tightens his grip, squeezing his shoulder in what he hopes is reassurance.

"Dooku has us in a special cell," he explains, with no small amount of anger.

Resignation, mingled with dread, settle on Anakin's features. "What does he want? I can't – I cannot tell him anything. I am not a Jedi."

The words feel like a punch to the gut, and Obi-Wan swallows past the sting, past the rage that rises, threatening to choke him. "Dooku wants my alliance in exchange for your life," he replies. If the situation was different, he would never have answered. He would have denied it; he would have lied.

But now... Anakin could die, and Obi-Wan will not let Anakin die if he can stop it. He can't. Anakin is – he is too important. It's attachment, he knows, this burning ball of emotions in his chest at the mere prospect of staying by and letting Anakin die. It's attachment, but by the Force, he loves this boy too much to do anything but protect him. He is helpless against that instinct, the instinct that drives him to protect, the instinct that tells him nothing matters anymore but Anakin's wellbeing. He will do anything, kill anyone to keep him safe.

What kind of Jedi does that make him?

Not a very good one, to be sure.

And to think that, only weeks ago, he would never have thought this way. He would never have even – he would not have considered it. ... Would he? He – Obi-Wan doesn't know anymore. So much has changed, and it feels like everything is still the same, and – and –

If he could feel the Force, he knows it would be like ice in his fingers, chilling his blood, and freezing him, offering power instead of warmth.

Kriff.

That... is beginning to sound familiar, too familiar. Familiar and unwelcome. But no. No, it's not possible. It's not. He's – he's a Jedi Master. He wouldn't – he couldn't –

"Don't listen to him," Anakin rasps, reaching out to grasp his wrist, holding it firmly, despite his obvious weakness and exhaustion. "Don't – I am not worth it, Master."

Rage burns under his skin at the mere thought, and he can feel it simmering and crackling, turning his blood to poison. "I will not let you die," he hisses, maybe a little too sharply, too... possessively. His grip on Anakin tightens, one hand on his shoulder, the other coming to rest on his arm. He can feel the warm weight of Anakin's body pressed against his leg, and he vows to himself that he will not sit here, waiting, as it goes cold.

Anakin's brow furrows. "Master..." There's something cautious in his tone, something hesitant, and he eyes Obi-Wan warily, pushing himself upright. He sways, bracing himself against the floor with his prosthetic so he doesn't topple over, and Obi-Wan reaches out to steady him. Really, Anakin looks to be on the verge of collapse. It is a wonder that the boy is even moving; it must be agony for him, his body slowly dying, minute by minute, second by second, as the Force is stripped from him.

"Unless we can escape, the outcome is a foregone conclusion, I'm afraid." He goes for lightness, but it's too – it's feigned. It's deliberate, and that, more than anything, seems to tell Anakin that something is wrong.

"Obi-Wan, no." Anakin's voice is low, firm, unwavering, and he's serious, no matter that he looks as if a breeze could topple him over.

Obi-Wan is about to argue, but he catches it before it comes out and swallows it back. What is he thinking, considering arguing with Anakin about whether or not he should agree to Dooku's demands? (It's because he knows, he knows that Dooku is right; he's just too afraid to admit it, because of what it will mean to him. Surrendering fully would be nothing. The truth will remain unchanged, even if he doesn't accept it.)

Instead, he says, "How were you captured?"

This pulls a teasing smile from Anakin, but it's empty, and his eyes are devoid of the spark of life that they would normally contain. "I was coming to rescue you. Naturally."

Obi-Wan gives him an unimpressed glance. "Clearly, that worked out so well."

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Clearly," he agrees, sarcasm dripping from his words, "But Ahsoka is – she will find us. We must hope that she arrives soon, before it's too late."

Too late for who? Obi-Wan wants to ask. It is too late for me, already. It has been too late for me from the moment you walked away.

The ice in his chest grows stronger, and he realizes that he can only go so long before he embraces... the truth.

"You are delusional."

"Am I? Or are you?"

Dooku figured it all out brilliantly, bringing Anakin here, where he's vulnerable and dying. He knew Obi-Wan would cave, and Obi-Wan hates the knowledge that he inevitably will. He'll hold on a little longer, though, no matter how much he doubts a rescue will be forthcoming. He does not think Ahsoka will get here in time, and he will have to submit.

Perhaps, it was inevitable all along.

**w**

Something is wrong with Obi-Wan. Something is very wrong with him. If Anakin had any doubts at the beginning, when he sensed, or thought he sensed, a strange darkness surrounding his once master, those doubts are gone. He was right. He sensed right. Obi-Wan is... dark. Darker than he has any right to be. Darker than he ever should be, because he's Obi-Wan. And Anakin is beginning to fear that Obi-Wan is actually Dark, that he's Fallen somehow, in some inconceivable way.

It doesn't even make sense, and even pondering it sends a chill down his spine, so he tries to push the thought aside and focus on something else.

Which is very hard when his entire body is in agony. It's starting out like distinct prickling numbness, but slowly, it's gone from pinpricks to outright pain. He aches as the Force is pulled from him, as his very lifeforce slowly seeps away. He doesn't know how much longer his body will hold out, but he does know that he'll be past the point of screaming long before it does. Unless Ahsoka comes to rescue them soon – well, Anakin doubts he even has a full rotation. Maybe half?

And Ahsoka will not get here in time. It's – there's too many things, and while Anakin has every bit of confidence in her, the chances of her arriving here, on Serenno, infiltrating, and extracting them within half a rotation are very low. She might succeed, but Anakin refuses to hope.

It's too difficult to hope these days, and – and maybe there's a part of him that doesn't even care anymore. He doesn't want to die per se, but death seems so much easier than living. If he dies here, at least he'll be at peace, and he won't have – he won't have killed himself. He won't have forced Obi-Wan's hand. He won't be responsible for Obi-Wan becoming the very thing he was raised and trained to destroy.

"You cannot give Dooku the satisfaction of winning," Anakin murmurs finally. It's been a short while, and neither of them have spoken. It's as though neither of them knows what to say, and all Anakin can think about is their last meeting. He can only remember how he walked away with Ahsoka, leaving Obi-Wan behind. He can only remember how fiercely he's missed his former master over the past weeks. He can only remember how much he regrets having to leave, how much he regrets actually doing so.

With Obi-Wan here, everything feels... right. Or better, at least. It doesn't seem quite as hopeless, even if – even if he can't bring himself to look Obi-Wan in the eye, when Obi-Wan knows how much of a failure he is. He couldn't control his emotions, and then, he walked away.

Obi-Wan hisses out a breath. "I will not gamble with your life."

Why? Anakin wants to ask. Why are you only saying this now, after everything that's happened? Why could you not have told me this before everything reached this point? And, even more than that: Why did you do it? Why did you hurt me if you care so much?

It doesn't make sense to him. Always, it has been about the greater good, about what would be best for the galaxy. Obi-Wan joining Dooku, giving in to his demands would not be in the best interests of the galaxy or anyone, for that matter. Sure, it would spare Ahsoka and Padme the pain of his loss, but – but they are only two people. Two people for millions. Anakin is not worth that. (He is worth nothing. He has always been worth nothing.)

And this is his fault, isn't it? He should have asked the Force how to rescue Obi-Wan, how to bring them back together, perhaps. He might have found his former master, but if he dies, their reunion will be a very short one. For all of his foresight and power... he slipped. Again.

He slipped and others will suffer the consequences of his choices.

There is much which he could say, but in the end, he chooses to say nothing, sitting in silence, feeling the numbing pain slowly creeping up and increasing, the pressure on his chest growing from one moment to another. Force, he's probably going to die here, unless Obi-Wan agrees to Dooku's terms.

The silence grows increasingly strained as well, but thankfully, Obi-Wan seems willing to at least wait in the hopes of a rescue before just going ahead and giving in.

Anakin nearly jumps when Obi-Wan speaks, suddenly. "Why are you so insistent that I not agree? Would you not do likewise?"

A hot flush of shame creeps down his neck, and he fixedly stares at the cold durasteel beneath him. It is, unfortunately, the truth, and he is loath to admit it, but there is no censor in Obi-Wan's tone, no condemnation. If anything, it's maybe a little bit understanding, and resigned. "My life is not worth whatever Dooku will ask from you, Master," he answers, steadfast. "I am not even a Jedi. I am... no one. It is true, that I would... do whatever I must to keep people safe, but I am – I know I am – I was not a good Jedi, not like you."

When he failed his mother, he promised never to fail another member of his family, not like that. Thus far, he hasn't, but it's been a near thing many times.

The cell is dark, but Anakin can still see something, some sort of emotion, on Obi-Wan's face. It's... disbelieving, maybe. Incredulous. "You are – you were a good Jedi," Obi-Wan replies firmly, tone brooking no refusal. "You were one of the best of us. I know you have struggled with your emotions, but that is true of everyone. If – I would have helped you, if I had known how... hard it was. I failed you, if you thought you couldn't come to me."

Anakin feels a complex mixture of frustration and resignation wash over him. This. This. He had hoped never to speak of it with Obi-Wan, because it's – he will never get the... understanding he has from Padme, from Ahsoka. It – he does not resent it, because he knows that Obi-Wan has only sought to make him a better Jedi – he failed Obi-Wan; he was never the kind of Jedi he should have been, and that is what confuses him most. What does Obi-Wan mean by his words?

He doesn't know, doesn't understand.

"I – if you thought so highly of me, why did you always criticize me? You have always – I know I have faults. I know I am not – what you want me to be. How can you say I am one of the best?"

Obi-Wan jerks, equally stung and taken aback. "You are one of the best," he repeats. "If I was hard on you, it was only to make you even better. I have always been proud of you."

For a few seconds, Anakin just stares at him, too shocked to even form a word. "I – why did you never say anything?"

"... I thought you knew. I thought you could tell." It almost feels like there's more to that, more words that he is unwilling, or unable, to voice.

"You never said anything," Anakin says helplessly. "How could I have known?"

The question hangs heavily in the air, and for the first time that Anakin can remember, Obi-Wan is speechless. There's a hint of desperation in his eyes, and beyond that, lurks something wilder, darker. He doesn't want to explore what it might be. "You – why did you not talk to me when you were struggling?" Obi-Wan questions finally. "Didn't you know that you could?"

Anakin looks away, expression twisting. This is not how he thought his reunion with Obi-Wan would go. At all. To be fair, he never really thought about it, either; he had been too afraid to think about it. Obi-Wan's loss, his absence, hurt too deeply. But even if he doesn't want to continue this conversation, it's better than sitting here in silence, feeling his life force slip away.

Answering the question takes far more effort than it probably should. "You do not listen to me, Master," he answers quietly, subdued. "I have tried, in the past, and... you do not listen."

"I have always listened," Obi-Wan retorts, a hint of something – impatience or anger, perhaps – creeping into his tone.

Anakin feels his own anger rise to match it, the familiar weight of never being heard settling on his shoulders. If you listened, he wants to yell, You would have known how much I was hurting. You would have seen the pain lying behind every single 'I'm fine.' But that would not be fair, not to Obi-Wan and not to himself, either. It didn't start then. This is nothing new for them. It's the same song and dance. It's been this way for years, and Anakin doubts it will ever change. But still, that doesn't stop him from lashing out, just a little.

"No, you don't," he snaps, clenching his hands so he doesn't, habitually, dig his fingers into his arms – or legs – to try and ease the grief slowly choking him. How can he let go, when it was real to him? "You do not listen, Master, but I cannot hold that against you. You are a Jedi, first and foremost. You follow the Code. You obey the Council. You don't listen, because you only see how I need to change, to be a good Jedi. I cannot – I cannot be what you want me to be. That is why I left."

He pauses, sucking in a deep breath, body quivering from pent up emotions – and weakness. The pain is growing stronger, making him more irritable, making it harder for him to filter his words. "I tried, Obi-Wan. I tried to – to be what you wanted, and I could not. It was destroying me. You may say you were proud of me, but I still disappointed you. Instead of being what a Jedi should be and letting go, I walked away."

Obi-Wan is quiet for many long moments, clearly processing, a myriad of unidentifiable emotions flitting across his face. "I... I cannot pretend to understand how you could have left," he finally admits, "Because I cannot imagine actually doing the same, but I do not hold it against you. What happened – the Council treated you very wrongly, Anakin. They should never have done what they did. I am disappointed that you left, but I am not disappointed in you. In the Council, yes, but not you."

Anakin wishes he could believe that, but he can't. After... Hardeen, he can't trust Obi-Wan anymore. He can't feel his former master in the Force, either, so he has no way of knowing if he's being truthful or not. "It is nice of you to say that," he offers weakly, his head throbbing too much to think of a different, better, more coherent response.

Obi-Wan's lips press together, and distantly, Anakin recognizes the emotion on his face as annoyance. "You don't believe me." It's not a question.

He rubs his aching temple with his mechanical hand – his left one is shaking too much, and it feels cold, even to him. He feels cold all over. Cold and shaky. Weak. Not good. "I don't know what I believe anymore."

Because all this time, he thought Obi-Wan didn't truly care. He thought Obi-Wan was disappointed in him. He thought Obi-Wan –

He doesn't even know anymore. Maybe he misjudged Obi-Wan in more ways than one.

No matter how much he wants to feel the Force again, it's absence worse than a severed limb, he is also afraid to. He is afraid of what he'll find, what he'll feel. The idea that Obi-Wan would be willing to sacrifice all of the believes he's held dear, for him, makes him sick. It's wrong. Obi-Wan isn't supposed to do that. It's always been Anakin's responsibility to get them out of tight spots. He is always the one who has to sacrifice, who ends up having to rescue Obi-Wan from death. It's never happened the other way around, not like this, and – and Anakin doesn't know how to feel.

Maybe if he could look at Obi-Wan and see him the way he used to, before everything fell apart like this, he would feel protected, he would feel that Obi-Wan cares. But now... Now all he feels is a numb sort of horror, a dread that everything will spiral and shatter entirely. He doesn't want to see Obi-Wan as broken as he himself is.

If one of them has to break, it should be him; he is already broken.

Dizziness washes over him suddenly, all at once, and he sucks in a deep breath, trembling, leaning back against the wall as his head throbs fiercely. He has no idea how much longer he'll be able to cling to consciousness. Not for long.

Something warm drips down his face, and Anakin reaches up with a shaking hand to wipe it away. When he looks down, his fingers are coated with blood. That... is probably bad.

Obi-Wan notices. Of course, he does, and the sudden flare of alarm, fear, on his face only makes the pit inside Anakin grow bigger. He does not want this. He does not want Obi-Wan to do what Anakin knows he's about to. He tries to open his mouth to tell him so, but the world around him lurches, the edges of reality growing blurry and dark.

He must have blacked out momentarily, because he blinks and feels Obi-Wan's hands on him. And oh, Obi-Wan is talking, too.

"– me. Anakin!" He sounds frantic, panicked. So unlike himself that the jolt of chilling terror is enough to give Anakin the strength to cling to consciousness for a moment longer.

With effort, he manages to make a sound of acknowledgement, and Obi-Wan's hands on his shoulders tighten. "Stay with me, Padawan." It's almost a plea, and Anakin wants nothing more than to listen to it, but...

Darkness is fraying at his senses, and everything hurts so much. It feels like he's being ripped apart, atom by atom, and he just – he wants it to stop. It's not until now, until this very moment, that Anakin realizes how much he doesn't want to die. He doesn't. He doesn't. But nothing can stop that now – except Obi-Wan, and Anakin doesn't want Obi-Wan to sacrifice himself even more than he wants to live.

"M's'er," he slurs out, clinging to consciousness through sheer willpower. "D-don't." He forces himself to make his words clearer so there's no risk of mishearing or misinterpretation. "D-don't do it."

The look on Obi-Wan's face, the grief and panic and fear, it's not something Anakin could ever forget, and it's not until then, until that moment, that he realizes how much this mirrors... Hardeen. It was like that for him, too, and he never, ever would have wanted Obi-Wan to go through the same thing, but for real. But the alternative... it's even worse.

"Promise," he whispers, desperate, demanding. He cannot imagine being in a world where the edges of Obi-Wan's presence, which have always been as calm and soothing as rain, have been sharpened into jagged fragments of fractured ice. It would be chilling.

Obi-Wan reaches out, brushing his forehead with so much gentleness that Anakin could cry. "I can't," he replies, just as quiet, voice tormented, broken. "I can't. You – I... you mean too much to me." His fingers stroke through Anakin's hair, and if not for the pain that's eroding Anakin's mind, sucking away his ability to really feel anything else, he can only imagine, for a moment, how much emotion he would be feeling, how much he ought to feel at this admission. It's – never before has Obi-Wan said anything of this nature in past. Never. For so long, Anakin has wondered if he even cares.

And this – it's more of an answer than anything ever could be.

But... he doesn't want Obi-Wan to have to sacrifice himself like that. Not for him. No matter how touching it is. No matter how it soothes his broken pieces.

The darkness pulls him down into its welcoming embrace before Anakin can muster the energy to argue, and he doesn't know how long he's unaware of the world around him before he feels a fragment of... something. A trickle of the Force seeping into his veins, feeding back the life that's been stolen.

It's accompanied by Obi-Wan's words, though they seem to be coming from a distance. "I will do whatever you want, so long as Anakin lives."

No, Anakin thinks desperately, but unconsciousness pulls him under again, and he tumbles into the darkness.

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