Bailero

by googooplex100

Dr Arizona Robbins is close to desperate; she needs a business analyst to help manage her tiny biomedical company before the bank takes everything she's ever worked for. The one person that seems capable of taking control is Callie Torres. But is Callie interested in taking control of more than just Arizona's finances?

25. Chapter 25

Title: Bailero (1/20)

Pairing: Callie / Arizona

Rating: NC17 / M / Explicit Adult Content

Summary: Dr Arizona Robbins is close to desperate; she needs a business analyst to help manage her tiny biomedical company before the bank takes everything she's ever worked for. The one person that seems capable of taking control is Callie Torres. But is Callie interested in taking control of more than just Arizona's finances?

Disclaimer: The recognisable characters portrayed in this story belong to ABC Studio & Shonda Rhimes etc. No infringement intended etc etc. No profit being made etc etc etc. You know the drill.

Re-cap:

Callie and Arizona meet under strained circumstances.

Arizona needs a business manager before her business goes under, Callie is a secret philanthropist running away from herself.

They meet, they connect, sparks fly (of course they do), they fall in love.

This is what happens next.

(Arizona has flown into New York to surprise Callie and is meeting Aria for the first time).

"Now that we've got all that other stuff out of the way, how about we discuss something a little more serious; are you a fan? Do you like any of my movies?" Aria asked smirking a little at Callie, who rolled her eyes at her sister's antics.

They had spent the earlier part of the evening, over a delicious dinner in a lovely intimate restaurant first talking about Arizona's work and her accomplishments. She had felt herself skilfully both grilled and flattered before they moved briefly on to why she had called Aria to come to Callie's side. She had found Aria warm and receptive and that she shared a supportive and affectionate relationship with her older sister was clearly apparent.

"Easy now, darling, your insecurity is showing," Callie poked as she poured some more wine for Arizona. "And yes, she's a fan."

Arizona smiled at the sisters, amused but feeling bittersweet pang at their banter as it reminded her of her relationship with Tim.

She opened her mouth to agree that she was indeed a fan when Callie helpfully added,

"In fact, didn't you tell me you went to see Aria's last film twice, the one where she wore the bikini?"

Arizona felt her face go bright red but she forced herself to just about maintain eye contact with Aria.

"Thanks for that, darling," she muttered out of the side of her mouth.

"I did actually see that film, just the once, it was lots of fun ... and well... yeah ... you looked … umm … great in it." Arizona stammered, feeling much like an adolescent dolt.

Callie chuckled at Arizona's bravery but Aria gave her sister a gentle slap on the arm for embarrassing Arizona.

"Ignore her, querida, she's just jealous. Of course I looked wonderful in that film, you'd have been blind not to notice."

"Oh my god, Arizona, wait for it, the ego has landed..."

"Hey, recognise your own worth, have you forgotten what daddy taught us ..." Aria laughed with Callie and then they both quickly sobered, remembering why she was there in the first place. Their laughter dried up and Callie took a sip of her wine while Aria played with her cutlery.

"I enjoy your comedies and romcoms but actually I really loved the Spanish language indie movie you did a few years back, the one about the artist and her relationship with her neighbour." Arizona interjected into the sudden silence, hoping the friendly exuberance of the evening hadn't been lost.

Aria's presence was exactly what Arizona had been hoping for; she had lifted Callie's spirits in a way that she wasn't yet able to fully achieve.

Aria's expression stilled for a second and then a look of genuine surprise and pleasure crossed her features, her dark eyes shot to Callie's face.

"Did you show that to her?"

Callie shrugged and shook her head, mystified.

"Which one again?"

Aria waved her hand dismissing her sister's clueless response.

"No one saw that film, I took her to the première and she didn't even watch it. Calliope here snored through half of the damn thing. Where on earth did you see it?"

"Did not snore through your film..." Callie was indignant but ignored.

"I remember I was ... I don't know ... I had a spare afternoon and just went to some independent cinema that I used to visit and it was on. I didn't realise it was you … you know, Callie's famous sister until very recently but I always remembered that film, it was beautifully acted and directed and the story was incredibly poignant. So I... umm yeah ... I watched it again last month." Arizona took a sip of her wine, feeling mildly self-conscious. The last thing she wanted, after her somewhat hysterical phone call, was to seem like she was trying hard to ingratiate herself to Callie's sister. But she really had enjoyed the film.

Aria stared at her for a second, a strange expression crossing her face for a minute before very wide smile cut across her face.

"You have just found a direct path to my heart and made yourself my second, ok, third favourite person ever," she said, giving Callie a look.

"OK," Arizona laughed, not knowing what she had done to warrant such praise.

"Yeah, how come Arizona almost leap-frogged Juan?" Callie grinned.

"You're so sure she didn't nearly leap frog you?" Aria countered before turning back to Arizona. "I co-wrote that movie and it's the one thing of my career that I'm most proud. It made no money and not many people brought me in the role but I loved every minute of it."

"You wrote that?" Callie screwed up her face.

"You're useless and Arizona has replaced you as my second favourite person." Aria rolled her eyes. "Ella es perfecta. Puedes casarte con ella mañana," she added as an aside to her sister.

Callie sniggered in her wineglass and Arizona blushed again, this time making damn sure she didn't meet Callie's gaze.

"Thanks for the tip, Aria but as we've established that Arizona loved you in a Spanish language film, it's a safe bet that she also understands the language as well, right?"

Aria blinked, considering her faux pas. Shrugging lightly, she leaned over and patted Arizona's hand, giving her a sly wink.

"It could have been sub-titled" Aria shrugged and then smiled back at Arizona. "Well, at least you know you've got my vote of approval, Arizona." She leaned back in her chair and laughed, aiming a grin in Callie's direction. "Coming to your rescue? Loving my films? Smart and funny? Querida, you're lucky I'm already in love with Juan, you might have had a fight on your hands."

Arizona felt her face flush again; Aria was a natural flirt, warm, funny, engaging and actually a pleasure to be with. She was incredibly similar Callie in many respects and a sense of warmth and peace rushed through her as she looked at her laughing partner.

"OK and on that note, I shall gracefully retire to … to … powder my nose." Arizona grinned at them.

"Aww honey look, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by choosing me," Aria chortled.

"Bitch, please. Not in this lifetime," Callie was affectionately scornful at her sister's assertion.

"Or even the next," Arizona couldn't resist whispering, giving Callie one of her double-eyed winks and watched as the love blossomed across her face.

#

The room was almost entirely in shadow, a solitary standing lamp in the corner throwing a muted pool of brightness across the large bedroom, partially bathing the occupants in a warm glow.

Not that either noticed, not the near darkness nor the shaded light.

Callie and Arizona were aware of only each other, every sense that they possessed was finely attuned, every emotion within them, focused solely on the other. They were facing each other, Arizona's thighs draped across Callie's hips, their bodies slick and heated in the aftermath of their passion.

Arizona had been desperate and needy after their evening and had come quickly and hard, her core clenching, almost painfully as she stroked herself furiously against Callie's hot, wet centre. Somehow, the waves of passion re-ignited within her rather than dissipated when she felt the flutter of Callie's orgasm against her. Arizona leaned back on her hands, thrusting her hips into Callie, slowly guiding them back to a fever pitch.

As the race of their heart beats slowly returned to normal and the sweat cooled their bodies, Arizona settled herself over Callie's exhausted frame, laying her blonde head on her lover's chest. She could hear the solid thud of Callie's heartbeat and it lulled her to an almost twilight state of calm.

Callie's hand came up to stroke the back of her head and she smiled into the warm flesh beneath her face.

"I didn't really get the chance to ask you this earlier but …" she paused for a second, trying to find the right set of words.

"But …" Callie prompted.

"I know calling Aria was … presumptuous, I mean really, really presumptuous, but did you mind? I would never want to do anything to hurt or embarrass you …but I just …"

"You wanted to do something to make me happy." Callie finished her sentence for her.

"And you did." Callie's hand stroked through her damp hair and Arizona felt a frisson of relief shimmer through her. Her little stunt could have gone badly wrong. She felt Callie shift under her and she raised her head to look into her kind, brown eyes.

"Arizona, when Aria showed up, it was almost like the day you flew into Manhattan without any warning, it … it made me happy to see her. I didn't know I wanted to see her that badly …" She sat up a little to look into Arizona's face.

"Please don't think that you being here hasn't been everything to me, because …. because it has …"

"Hush, seeing your family in a time of need is different, I know that," Arizona reassured her.

"But … you're my family now as well…" Callie muttered, her dark eyes expressing an uncharacteristic shyness. But her words filled Arizona with a joy that was hard to express in words and so she didn't try, merely bent and bestowed a gentle kiss on Callie's lips.

"So, we're family now too. Awesome."

Callie leaned up and kissed her.

It was a deep and sensual kiss, lips and tongues moulding, exploring, tasting and Arizona could feel herself slipping away.

She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing.

She was getting excited again, quickly and right now it wasn't a physical release that she wanted, it was something much more elemental; it was intimacy she craved and she needed to make this feeling last.

It was a strange notion, as if she were counting out and storing up all the times that she and Callie had left together. It wasn't even her last night in Manhattan but in some odd and inexplicable manner, she felt a gossamer cloak of melancholy shroud her.

Sure, she'd be leaving soon but Callie would be back in London in a few short months and they'd talk on the phone or FaceTime or text, just as they had over the previous 10 weeks. Arizona was painfully alive to the fact that she was going to miss Callie in ways that were more than just the physical. It wasn't merely the absence of her being, of her physical presence, of her love that Arizona feared, it was also the loss of her direct input to RMB. Callie was brilliant for RMB, she was brilliant for Arizona and she just couldn't see how anyone else could ever match.

She didn't want a replacement, Arizona didn't want anyone else, certainly not some other woman, some other business manager, she only wanted Callie.

And right now, Arizona knew that she couldn't have her.

And it hurt.

The thought of selling RMB to Caltech had begun to gain momentum in her mind, something she had vowed never to contemplate; selling to the highest bidder had always been an anathema to her. But now, she was thinking about it. If only it would keep Callie close to her, Arizona thought that she might consider almost anything. Except doing business with the preposterously beautiful and yet odiously repellent Claude Patterson, who had cornered her one evening and made an offer to buy RMB.

She looked down at Callie, the brunette's face still flushed with a bloom of their exertions, droplets of sweat beading her brow and upper lip. Arizona leaned down and pressed her lips to Callie, once, twice feeling the warm mouth move under her lips. She tasted the droplets of moisture and heard a gentle moan, she couldn't tell from whom the sound had escaped.

She moved, straddling Callie completely, feeling the warmth and softness of the other woman's body beneath her and restrained herself from grinding down hard.

"Sweetie, what's going on in that head of yours?" Callie reached up and stroked Arizona's face, her warm palm cupping her cheek softly. Wanting to prolong the contact, Arizona turned her face into Callie's hand and nuzzled it, craving the closeness.

"It's nothing," she replied quietly, unsurprised that Callie could tell that she was struggling with something. "It's just …" she paused, trying to marshal her thoughts, "I'm going to miss you so much." Arizona settled on a partial truth and then lay her body down, settling her weight onto Callie's prone body.

"I know, but it won't be forever …" Arizona leaned down and placed a kiss on Callie's lips to forestall her.

"Hush, I know, it's fine. I'm being silly. We'll figure it out." The last thing she wanted was to make Callie feel bad about the choices she had to make.

She snuggled in, burying her face into the warm space between Callie's neck and shoulder. The flesh was heated and fragrant and she tasted the skin, her open mouth gentle. She felt Callie's arms come around her, hands stroking her back softly, Arizona could feel the comfort and love in her touch and somehow, this slow and aching tenderness, it made her almost tearful.

She squeezed her eyes tight and snuggled in even further as if trying to sink into the lush expanse of Callie's skin, as if trying to melt into Callie's very being.

"You are so soft, so sensual... I could drown in you." She mumbled the words into Callie's neck and then smiled as she felt the slight tremor beneath her.

"Your skin ... It's like ... like ..." Arizona paused, lost for words, lost in the sensation, utterly immersed in emotions that were wrought when their two bodies cleaved together.

"Hmm?" Callie prompted her softly, her sure hands now smoothing down Arizona's back, reaching down, cupping, kneading her derrière.

"Your skin feels like warm, rich cream, like thick, molten molasses," Arizona murmured, her words muffled but ardent, as she dropped wet, biting kisses on the skin she was currently adoring.

"So, food, huh?" Callie said a smile in her voice.

Arizona pushed herself up for a moment and stared down at Callie's face, trying to decipher what it was that gripped her so.

"You are so beautiful to me." She lay her head down, burying her face in the wavy dark hair that adorned the pillow.

"I love you so much, Callie."

She rolled them over, pulling Callie above her and pressed a chaste and simple kiss, just wanting to feel the pressure of Callie lips against her own.

Raising a hand, Arizona slowly traced Callie's dark eyebrows, feeling the sleekness beneath her finger tips. She looked into the dark eyes that were calmly watching her, the gentle, uncurious smile and it came to her again, that slow and inexorable upswell of emotion that filled her to completion. Like the sensation of gentle waves lapping on a beach, soothing, safe, calming.

Arizona had never known that love could be such a paradox.

Sometimes it felt like a tsunami, crashing through her, laying waste to everything within, other than this overwhelming and all-consuming passion. She could feel the tendrils of something hidden, just out of sight, dangerous and even destructive within her. It wasn't possessiveness, it even wasn't obsession, not quite. But something within her love for Callie sometimes almost scared her.

But not tonight.

Just a simple touch from her and Arizona felt like she was being lit up from all the way inside of her being.

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, imbibing the essence of the woman she loved. It was earthy and musky and something undefinable, something so elemental that it made her heart flutter and her core clench.

At last Arizona felt that she somewhere her heart could call home.

XXXX

"Aria is really, really lovely, I enjoyed meeting her." Arizona rubbed lotion into her skin and watched while Callie brushed her hair. They had decided to take a shower, their love-making energising them rather than the opposite and despite the hour, they decided to get out of bed.

Callie shot her a look and smiled.

"Well, Aria made it clear she'll quite happily have you as family, so we're pretty much all set."

"I can't get over your parent's response, your father's letter, I mean in this day and age …" Arizona pondered out loud. She looked over at Callie, not wanting to upset her.

"I mean, I do understand that people might find it hard to accept that their child is gay but family … they're supposed to accept you, no matter what."

"Honey, it is what it is." Callie seemed to be in a more philosophical mood than before. "Don't get me wrong, it hurts like hell and I miss them but …there's nothing I can do to change their minds, not really, so … life just goes on." She shrugged.

"I have issues with my Dad, but something like this, knowing that I'll probably never see him again … hating him …"

"I don't hate my Dad," Callie interrupted looking over at Arizona.

"You don't?" Arizona was mystified. "He cut you out of his life, he's ostracised you, tried to influence your sister …"

"Oh no, don't get me wrong, I hate … hate what he is doing, what he has done to our relationship. Yeah, I hate that all day and all night long. But I still love my Daddy. I always will." Arizona could feel her brow crinkle and rubbed it hard, as if to help her absorb the words she was hearing better. Callie read her confusion and smiled at her, almost sheepishly.

"Look, it's like this, I've given him my love and I'm not taking it back. All of the horrible things he has said and done to me, that's on him. But I'm not going to let all that hatred and negativity poison me, why should I?" Callie wandered over to her and dropped small kiss on her forehead.

"You're a better person than I am," she muttered, stealing a hug.

"I seriously doubt that. It's just something that I've learnt to do, once I give my love, I give it forever, no take-backs."

Arizona wrapped her arms around Callie's neck and leaned back to look up into her smiling face "No take-backs? What are you, 6?" Even as she joked, a thought popped into her head and before she had time to engage her brain and apply a filter she asked, "Does that include Europa?"

Callie looked down at her and quirked her lips before responding and in that second, Arizona felt something slippery and unpleasant slither through her at the thought of Callie's love being so freely shared with people who failed to deserve it.

"Turns out, I never really loved her, not in any meaningful way. If I had, I don't think I would have let her go so easily, I think I would have fought harder for her, something." Callie shrugged and hauled her even closer. "It doesn't matter, it's in the past. All that matters now is us and how we feel about each other." She leaned down and rubbed her nose against Arizona's. "Right?"

"Right." Arizona breathed out slowly, that unpleasant impression dissipating with Callie's reassurance.

XXX

"I have a little surprise for you," Callie was brushing Arizona's hair as they finally prepared for bed. They had one full day left before Arizona flew straight back to Geneva. She was behind on her work, hoping to rectify the issues that had been thrown up during the latest round of clinical testing. She was horribly short of time, the long-awaited launch was looming closer but every moment spent with Callie this week had been worth it. Maybe this person Callie had hired might be able to buy her some wriggle room on the floatation date.

"Oh yeah? Another one?" She smiled, loving the feeling of Callie's hands run through her hair.

"Well, maybe not a surprise exactly but I think you'll be pleased." Callie looked at her through the mirror, an amused smile on her face.

"Turns out the woman we hired to steer you through the floatation might be an old colleague of yours."

Arizona blinked back at her for a moment nonplussed. Sometimes, it really was spooky how Callie could read her mind. She then shifted gear.

"An old colleague? Really, who?" She quickly searched her mind for any of the female academics she had worked with in the past that might fit the bill. There wasn't a huge number that she could choose from.

"Margaret Christensen, PhD … and some other letters I can't remember," Callie recounted. "She was at St Hilda's a few years before you but there looks like there might be some crossover in 2000. You know her?"

Arizona wrinkled her brow, the name was unfamiliar to her.

"I don't think I know that name," she replied slowly. "And anyway, I was at Jesus College not St Hilda's"

"Oh. Oh ok, so much for good news." Callie shrugged philosophically, resting her hands on Arizona's shoulders. "Well, you'll get to meet her soon enough, I've emailed you all her credentials and references and so on. She's done some stellar work at GSK in their Gothenburg offices."

"You sure she was at Oxford? Not Oxford Brookes? " Arizona queried, as she got up and turned off the main lights."The Biochemistry fraternity wasn't a huge one back then and the number of female biochemist in academia was exponentially smaller, I should have come across her at some point."

Callie had moved towards their bed, a huge yawn splitting her face.

"Mark's crew did all the vetting. He was happy with what they found. Oh, he did mention something about her getting married, changing her name, perhaps you knew her by something else, by her maiden name. And no honey, I really don't know her maiden name." She got into bed and flopped onto her back, a sleepy, happy smile on her face. She did that thing she did with her eyebrow, beckoning Arizona to join her and the blonde pretty much forgot what she was talking about.

As Arizona climbed in bedside Callie, she looked into her face.

"You've been remarkably quiet about this woman, Callie. Tell me honestly, do you like her?"

But Callie was now half asleep and wrapped her arms around Arizona, pulling their bodies close together and burying her face into Arizona's chest.

"Can't say I like her," she mumbled sleepily, "not exactly, but I can say she is brilliant. She's done some really good work and she will be good for RMB. Promise. Now, go to sleep."

Arizona was silent for a moment, trying to understand the creeping sense of disquiet she could feel.

It was utterly unwarranted.

"Cal, why don't you like her? What's wrong with her?" She raised her head slightly but Callie tightened her arms and murmured unintelligibly.

"Callie? Honey?" But it was too late and Callie was already deeply asleep, her breath warm and damp and a little distracting against her skin. Arizona lay back down, tangling her fingers into the hair at Callie's nape, her thoughts hazy and jumbled. It had been a long day. She'd ask Callie in the morning, Arizona thought, sleepily. She'd check her frigging emails for once and read up on this woman, google her profile. She knew it was going to be fine.

Totally fine.

Arizona hadn't cared one way or another about her new business manager until this point and now she was … concerned.

And she didn't know why.

There must be thousands of women named Margaret that worked in her field, there was no good reason on earth for her to worry about ghosts long since buried.

No reason at all.

But the morning brought another phone call from Geneva and everything else was pushed to the back of her mind.

"How bad were the results?" Callie asked as they sat in the back of her town car on the way to the airport. Though it wasn't something she often did herself, Callie had insisted that Arizona take her private jet back to Switzerland, rather than waiting for a scheduled flight.

Arizona was scrolling through her laptop and barely looked up as she read and re-read the new set of results.

"Not as bad as last time but enough to be worried about. There's a glitch in the calculations, there must be. I just can't seem to work out where it is and why it's showing up intermittently." She finally looked up and pushed her hair away from her face, concern and irritation etched between her brows. Callie bit her lip and almost sat on her hands to stay where she was. Everything within her wanted to take Arizona in her arms and promise her that things would work out. Callie wanted to comfort her and just make the compound work.

She stayed where she was.

"What can I do? Is there anything I can do to help?" Callie's words were soft, careful. She was not a knight in shining armour. She was not even a knight in slightly tarnished armour.

And Arizona was no damsel in distress.

But Arizona simply shook her head though offered Callie a sunny, if somewhat strained, smile.

"I just need to go over my formulae, maybe go back to an earlier iteration of the compound and run some tests." She nodded her head confidently, her eyes steely and her chin angled at a pugnacious tilt. Callie recognised that expression. She had encountered it countless times when they first started working together. Arizona was not about to back away from this fight.

Arizona looked down at her laptop, silent for a moment, biting her lip.

"Callie, this compound works, I promise you, this compound works," she burst out fiercely. "I … I just need a little time to figure it out …" She trailed off and looked out of the window, her hands clenched into small fists and this time Callie couldn't stay still.

She reached over and clasped Arizona's hands, her fingers soothing.

"Honey, I will get you all the time you need. OK? I know this compound works. I know that you are changing the face of medical science. I know this. You know this, Arizona. This glitch, it's nothing. You'll fix it, I know you will." She leaned in and placed a kiss on Arizona's crown, rubbing her face in to the blonde hair.

"I know you're worried, baby but we're in this together. You are not alone."

Arizona sighed but looked up into her face and Callie was relieved when a genuine smile broke through, concern still there, in those beautiful, beautiful blue eyes but also a recognition and a love that they shared.

Arizona knew that she wan't alone.

xxx

Martha looked up as Arizona swept into their offices.

"I thought you were still in Geneva," she said by way of a greeting, taking in Arizona's limp hair and grim expression. "I take it things haven't sorted themselves out?"

Arizona dumped her cases on the floor and shook her head, pushing the lank strands away from her face.

"I need to go through my old research notes, I mean way back, not everything is in my computer files. I had to come home for that."

Martha looked at her for a minute and then sighed.

"You should have gone home for a few hours to have a shower and get some rest. Was Callie all right, did you at least have a nice time in New York?" She was a little relieved to see the smile, quick and distracted but genuine cross Arizona's features.

"I'm so glad I went to see her, I'm just sorry I had to cut the trip short. She's … she's really great."

Martha smiled and was about to comment on the besotted expression on Arizona's face when the wind was taken from her sails.

"Martha, I need you to try and find out what Peggy has been up to since she left us."

Martha felt her jaw sag wide open.

It wasn't a dignified look on a woman her age, so, as soon as her wits were part gathered, she snapped her mouth shut. Martha wasn't often caught unawares, though Robbie had tried a couple of times with nasty things he showed her from the internet but Arizona's question was a little out of the blue.

"Peggy? Peggy O'Neil?"

Arizona bit her lip hesitantly and blinked a couple of times, her eyes roaming the room and doing anything but meeting Martha's horrified gaze.

"Uhuh." She confirmed.

"Arizona, what on earth …"

"I'm probably just being super paranoid or … or something but the new business manager Callie has hired is called Margaret Christensen and she was meant to be at Oxford around the same time as I was and she went to St Hilda's …" she trailed off unhappily and stared at Martha. "Peggy was at St Hilda's, Martha."

Martha watched her silently, feeling the tension emanating from Arizona, feeling her jaw and backbone stiffen with outrage.

"Ah cannae hawp she wid hae th' bare-faced chee tae come 'ere. Nae efter everthing th' wee boot haes dane."*

Arizona shrugged, at a loss for anything sensible to say.

"Dae ye ken howfur mony wummin ur cried Margaret? C'moan, bairn, ye juist stressing fur hee haw."*

Shock had knocked the RP right out of Martha's mouth and she spoke in pure Glaswegian.

"Callie sent me an email with this woman's details and I just can't bring myself to look at it, to check …" Arizona replied, playing with the hem of her jacket and shoving her hands into her pockets, shuffling her feet and wriggling her shoulders. She couldn't stop fidgeting.

She finally looked at Martha and almost pleaded.

"I'll forward you the email, please look at it, Martha. See if it really might be Peggy and if it's not, see what you can find out about Peggy. I just can't deal with the thought of her right now, not when the compound is not working and we've got less than a month to the floatation. Dealing with her is something I just can't handle."

Martha reached out and patted Arizona on the shoulder.

"Hush now, you've no reason to fret, I'll have a look as soon as you send me the documents." She looked over at Arizona as a thought occurred to her.

"Have you told Callie this, have you asked her, surely she'd know not to hire Peggy."

"She might not know it's her, Peggy could have got married, changed her name, lied, anything, I don't know." Arizona burst out, horribly aware of all the things she had never told Callie about her time with Peggy, of all the stupid little details, things squalid and insignificant that had made her feel small, things that she had hidden away.

"Ok, let's not get our knickers in a twist just now." Martha soothed, realising that Arizona was tired and fractious and close to the end of her tether.

"I'll get you a coffee and you go look at your research. I'll see what I can find out about Peggy O'Neil and if necessary, we'll deal with her ladyship later. Alright Arizona?"

Arizona took a huge breath and then another and nodded her head firmly.

She could deal with whatever the fates flung at her.

She had done so before and she would do so again.

And this time, she would have Callie at her side.

1 "She wouldn't have the bare-faced cheek to show up here, not after everything the little bitch has done."

2 "Do you know how many women are called Margaret? Come on, child, you're just stressing for nothing."

Callie could hear Sloan talking to Steph in the outer office and quickly looked down at the sheaf of papers she was meant to be perusing. It was Margaret Christensen's contract and she was supposed to giving it a final run through before sending it off to HR but she had been worrying about Arizona instead. They had spoken only briefly in the weeks since Arizona visited Manhattan, all of her spare time now spent researching the problem with the compound. Though there hadn't been any more poor results, Arizona was concerned that something could go wrong once they moved to the production of the finalised drug. It was a risk that she was unwilling to take and had practically gone back to the drawing board.

It had been more than a month since Arizona's trip and she couldn't wait to see her again. They both had to be in London shortly, not least so that Callie could officially and reluctantly hand over the reins to the austere redhead she had hired.

Mark knocked briefly on the outer door before striding in, a fairly grim expression fixed on his face.

"What?" Callie asked plaintively, gesturing to the papers on her desk. "Christensen has already started setting up, she'll be relocating to London soon and I'll be introducing her to Arizona in a couple of weeks. I'm just going through her contract right now. I told you I'd get it done before the end of the week …"

He'd been on her case about handing over to the newly recruited financial manager, correctly believing that Callie had been dragging her heels.

Mark's expression lightened for a second and then he frowned again.

"That's not why I'm here but explain to me again why you're going through that contract instead of the highly qualified and extremely well-remunerated HR staff that you have on your payroll?"

Callie rolled her eyes and waved a dismissive hand. They'd this debate once already, she wasn't going to repeat all of the reason's why she felt it necessary to write up her replacement's contract personally.

"So, what's up? You look like someone stole your lunch money." Callie was part joking but Mark's expression didn't lighten, he pulled out a chair and sat down, taking in a deep breath as he did so. Callie's levity vanished and she felt an unpleasant weight settle in the pit of her stomach.

"Seriously, Mark, what is it?"

He pushed out another sigh and rubbed his nose.

"When you bought out Dibble and Grubb you sold … what, 6% of CalTech shares, right?"

Callie straightened the papers on her desk, not meeting Mark's gaze. It had been a massive bone of contention between them that she had taken such extreme measures to ensure the safety of Arizona's home and business.

"5%," she corrected, her voice soft.

"Right. And how much has Rahman been able to buy back since then? The full 5%?" Mark pressed. Callie wondered if he already knew the answer.

"No. Less than the full 5%." She cocked her head, trying to read his gaze, whatever it was he had to tell her, it wasn't good.

"Mark, just come out with it, what's happened?"

"Your holding in CalTech is now at what, 50%?" Callie shrugged, not quite agreeing. She was actually slightly under 50%.

"It's a huge stake in the company," Mark continued. She could actually see him choosing his words carefully, like a hesitant pianist feeling their way in the dark. "And it's an incredibly feat for you to have retained this much of the company for so long…"

Callie frowned. " I can hear a 'but' coming."

"But part of the reason you've been able to maintain such an iron grip on the company and steer it in the direction that you've wanted was because you literally owned more than half the company, that 53% kept you golden, it kept you safe …"

"Mark, quit worrying," she felt a quick rush of relief as she started to speak, "there's no real reason to worry about my stake or position in CalTech, the board of directors are fine, they aren't agitating for anything, well, except Patterson …" Callie trailed off, her short-lived complacency dissipating. Patterson had been sniffing around Arizona for months and if anyone was an agitator, it was he.

Mark nodded, watching Callie's face as realisation began to dawn.

"So, turns out Larry Grayson left his entire estate as well as his 7% of CalTech shares to a sole heir, some distant cousin of his."

"Who is it?" Callie held her breath. Whoever it was, she knew she wasn't going to like the answer.

"Some guy Patterson shared a room with in college, who pledged with Patterson and had him as a groomsman at his wedding."

Callie released a deep breath and sank back in her chair, her gaze fixed on Mark's face. Distractedly, she wondered if she was about to heave.

She could almost feel her blood congeal and form a ball of dread in the pit of her stomach. Trying to dispel her nausea but not even trying for nonchalance, Callie gave a half-hearted shrug, "This guy, what's his name?"

"Nathaniel Browne," Mark supplied, his face sombre.

"Nathaniel Browne, might be perfectly fine, he might have a sound business background behind him, he might not necessarily vote the same way as Patterson." Even to her ears, the words lacked any kind of conviction.

They were screwed.

"If the board need to vote on anything, anything at all, Browne will almost certainly be led by Patterson. That's nearly 27% between them. That's enough to swing a lot of the board. We need to be prepared for anything Callie. Get your broker to pick up any shares that come on the market. At any price. Now, you're vulnerable."

"And meanwhile?" She asked the question almost idly, her mind working up every possible permutation.

"Meanwhile we wait, see what Patterson has up his sleeve."

Callie swung round to look out of her glass wall. It was almost absurd how often she spent staring out to the city, not seeing a single thing. She scratched her scalp distractedly, pushing her long, dark hair off her face. Callie didn't need to wait to see what Patterson had up his sleeve.

She already knew.

And there was no way she was giving him what he wanted.

xxx

Callie was early, which wan't unusual for her but she was also nervous.

As far as she was concerned, being nervous was almost unprecedented. It was something she just didn't allow herself the luxury.

Bur here she was, sat in the private Les Salon of one of New York's most exclusive restaurants, more than 20 minutes early for her lunch meeting and she was aware of the dampness of her palms, the beads of sweat forming on her brow and the faint queasiness churning her gut.

Goddamnit, Torres, get it together. Remember, you're the boss. That's right!

She gave herself a little pep talk, inwardly grimacing at how ridiculous she sounded, even to herself.

She knew it was absurd to feel this way; she had interviewed the woman, given her a thorough grilling and was doing the redhead a favour by hiring her but even so, Callie felt like she was on the back foot with the supercilious scientist. Undoubtedly Margaret Christiansen was brilliant and an expert in her specialism but there was a major gap in her interpersonal skills. The pair had met twice since the interview, both times Callie had been surplus to requirements, merely sitting in on routine HR meetings and perhaps Margaret sensed that Callie was trying to get the measure of her because she had, to Callie's mind, gone out of her way to demonstrate her scientific credentials, dropping comments about her time in academia or asking Callie's opinion on the latest scientific discovery. Callie was no chump but the stuff the woman had been talking about was way over her head. And they both knew it.

Callie couldn't understand why Margaret would try to rile her in this manner. It didn't make the least bit of sense. Unless the woman was just plain rude.

Callie had decided to take the moral high ground and not respond to her eccentric behaviour.

As she toyed with the crisp, damask napkin, Callie acknowledged the blatant untruth.

She wasn't taking the moral high ground at all, she was flinging her wealth around and treating Margaret to an obscenely expensive lunch as a send off. Just to remind her who was boss.

She knew that it was immature, she didn't even like seafood really and only ate it when Arizona made her and yet here she was sweating like a Thanksgiving Turkey in a top seafood restaurant waiting for a woman who both annoyed and … bothered her.

Callie hoped that she hadn't made a mistake hiring Margaret Christiansen; Arizona had enough to deal with, she didn't need to be saddled with a difficult colleague. In retrospect, including Arizona in the interview process might have made more sense, but what was done, was done.

A waiter discreetly topped up her water glass, the crystal goblet twinkling as if filled with fluid gemstones and Callie tried to unpick what it was about Margaret that bothered her so. It wasn't just that she was dismissive and superior or even that she appeared aloof and really quite cold as a human being. It couldn't possibly be because she was taking Callie's place in London, woking along side Arizona. She wasn't that immature.

She didn't think.

But even as she pondered that thorny question, the woman herself sauntered into the salon, escorted by the Director of Private Events.

Callie seriously hoped that she wasn't completely immature, her current antics notwithstanding, but she was chagrined to notice another fact about the austere woman approaching her table.

She was beautiful.

Undeniably so.

Cold and remote and full of sharp planes and acute angles but beautiful nonetheless.

That Arizona would be spending a huge amount of time with this woman really should not feature as a concern for Callie. In fact it didn't, she really wasn't that immature and she trusted Arizona implicitly but yet and still there was something about this woman that … gave her pause.

Her pale, milky skin seemed as fine and delicate as Dresden porcelain, her features; each one, eyes, nose, mouth as beautiful as a work of renaissance art, she could almost have been a Botticelli, refined, glorious and regal. The flame red hair was breath-taking, almost alive in its vibrancy and colour; perfectly coiled fiery spirals and ringlets poured down her back like the lava rivers of Pompeii. As she approached the table, there was an air of fragility about her, as if she could withstand only the most tender of touches, the softest of words. But that air of fragility could be no more than skin deep, the steel in her sharp gaze gave her away and Callie felt her anxiety dissipate.

A steeliness, a hardness within was something she could understand.

As their eyes met Callie wondered what she revealed about herself, the cool green gaze that met her eyes was bland, opaque, her expression seemed one of near indifference. But that flicker of her eye, taking in the discreetly opulent surroundings again gave Callie the simplest of insights and she relaxed and allowed a wide smile to cross her face as she stood to greet her newest employee.

She could afford to be gracious. She certainly wanted Arizona to get on with this woman, Callie wanted anything and everything that would make Arizona's life easier and she could swallow her disquiet or pride or whatever it was that was bugging her to ensure that Margaret Christensen became a team player.

She held out her hand, allowing her grasp to be warm, firm but not stupid, she wasn't a man after all, and kept her smile fixed in place.

"Thank you so much for coming today, I know I didn't give you much notice."

Margaret Christiansen's hand was cool and dry, as was the smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Thank you for inviting me," she replied, her grasp equally firm. "I've heard that the fish served here is really quite acceptable." She took a seat and looked up at the waiter, allowing him to drape the damask napkin across her lap and hold open a leather bound menu.

Quite acceptable? Callie thought, incredulous. It was a 3 star Michelin restaurant, if Eric Ripert could hear her now, Callie was sure he'd … actually, she didn't know the chef and maybe he was perfectly capable of dealing with supercilious clientele.

As the waiters hovered and helped them settle into their plush seats, Callie was surprised to see what must have been a genuine smile cross the woman's face.

"My flight back to Stockholm, isn't until late tomorrow, so you've saved me from an afternoon of sheer boredom."

Callie kept her expression carefully blank and looked over the menu. She hadn't one single thing to say to a person of means that found themselves bored in New York. This afternoon was simply about giving this irritating academic a friendly send-off, irrespective of whether she deserved it or not.

###

Lunch turned out not to be the complete chore that Callie had anticipated.

As they both declined dessert, she considered Margaret Christiansen curiously. She was not was Callie had expected. Certainly she retained an air of condescension and really couldn't be described as being particularly warm but she was articulate and erudite, even entertaining on topics outside of her various specialisms.

Perhaps this could work out, Callie thought to herself cautiously.

Perhaps her sense of unease about Margaret was nothing more than good old fashioned paranoia, jealousy even. Patterson and his antics were causing her conniptions and it was clearly seeping into other areas of her life, she mused. This working relationship would be fine. It really as going to work out, she repeated to herself firmly.

"I'm really pleased you could make it for lunch. You must be incredibly busy with the move."

Margaret smiled at her. It was a stretch of her lips, a faint hint of maybe amusement reaching those narrowed eyes.

"Certainly, I've been busy with the move but nothing too onerous. Obviously I have people to deal with the minutia of such things."

"Obviously," Callie echoed, trying not to wince. The woman really was a piece of work.

"Moving back to London isn't exactly a hardship for me," Margaret looked over the rim of her glass as she spoke, her eyes peering closely at Callie. "Though I've lived in Sweden for the last 4 years, I am English after all, I still have a home there and return each year for Cheltenham and occasionally Wimbledon." She replied in that somewhat deep and sonorous voice of hers. Callie hadn't thought of it at the time but her cut-glass English accent reminded her Lady Mary Grantham. She really ought to stop watching that show, Callie thought, guiltily. It was rotting her brain.

"Do you ever go to Royal Ascot?" Callie dredged up a long-buried memory of horse-racing, which she loathed, and extravagant hats. She almost missed the slight moue of distaste that crossed her companion's faces. "Ascot has become a little too … populist in recent years, I tend to give it a wide berth unless one of the more senior of the Windsor family ask me to join them." Callie stared at her plate and tried valiantly not to roll her eyes. "As far as the move goes I've simply arranged for my personal effects to be flown over," she continue airily, "I shan't be decanting entirely and of course, Tomas, my spouse will remain in Gothenburg."

"Your … he's not coming with you?" Callie would never dream of asking such a personal question straight off the bat but since Margaret had brought the subject up, Callie was interested in understanding the woman a little better.

"It's hardly worth the bother for a 2 year contract," she replied referring to the contract Callie had drawn up. The redhead took a sip of her wine and gave an almost imperceptible nod of her head indicating her approval.

"If Arizona wants me to stay on after the initial period, I'll have to discuss it in more depth with him. He adores England, of course but he does have political and business concerns that keep him in Gothenburg and Stockholm for a good portion of the year. We've commuted and the like in the past, this will be no different."

Callie nodded, wondering at Margaret's easy use of Arizona's name.

"Is that what took you to Sweden in the first place, your spouse?" Callie queried as their coffees were placed in front of them. She watched as Margaret slowly brought the bone china cup to her lips and take a long sip of what must have been scalding hot coffee, her eyes ever so faintly narrowed. It was as if she was playing for time, trying to think of an appropriate answer. During lunch she had been smooth, so self assured it bordered on arrogance but now she displayed something that could almost be mistaken for hesitation.

"Not exactly," she eventually replied, leaning backing her chair and releasing a breath. It was as if she had come to a decision.

"I left London and academia for a different reason entirely. A business venture that … didn't pay the dividends that I expected."

"Oh?" Callie asked. That hadn't come up during the interview.

"I was still focused on academia at the time and the demise of the venture ultimately led to me to the decision to focus entirely on the business aspects of biotechnology and related applications."

"I see," Callie murmured quietly, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

"I'm sure Arizona must have mentioned me at some point, I understand you've been working with her for about a year," Margaret blithely took another sip on her wine.

"This really is a most stunning Cab," she enthused, an unexpected aside. It was as if she didn't understand the magnitude of the bomb she just dropped. "I will have to remember it for next time."

"What exactly should Arizona have mentioned to me?" Callie had carefully replaced her cup back in its saucer and listened to the slow, painful thud of her heart. She could hear the faintest sounds of the 51st Street traffic outside and see the sun motes float lazily in the rays that shone through the windows. The hairs on her arms slowly rose as a cold, cold shiver ran through her.

Margaret looked up and stared at Callie with her pale green eyes.

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I used to work with Arizona, years ago. I thought you knew, I thought that was one of the reasons you hired me."

Callie merely blinked, her mind devoid of rational or even irrational thought.

"Of course I was known by my maiden name back then and all my academic work was in that name as well."

"Peggy O'Neil?" Callie whispered.

"Oh, you have heard of me. Excellent." She looked round and raised an eyebrow at the almost invisible waiter, indicating her empty wine glass.

"I must say, this really is a most exceptional wine."

xxx

As the sommelier topped up Margaret's glass, Callie could hear a faint ringing in her ears.

This could not be happening.

This really could not be happening.

It was just too ridiculous to be true.

She shook her head at the waiter with the bottle and after he had left leaned forward her hands griping the edge of the table tightly.

"You're Peggy O'Neil? Arizona's ex-business partner… her … her ex-partner?" Callie asked bluntly, her words coming so fast she could barely get them out in the right order.

Margaret looked up sharply at Callie's tone and raised an eyebrow in query.

"Yes," she replied calmly, dabbing her lips with her napkin, a bright red smear stark against the pristine white. "I assumed you knew." A faint crease formed between her brows and she also placed her cutlery down.

"I'm somewhat … surprised that Arizona discussed our personal relationship with you, though. She used to be more circumspect but yes, I worked with Arizona for a number of years and yes, we were … involved for a time."

Callie scratched her head distractedly, she really didn't know where to start.

"Why did you apply this job?" She settled on the simplest question that she could cope with. "I mean, after all that happened between the pair of you, why the hell would you think it appropriate to try and work with her again?"

Margaret blinked at Callie's vehemence and shifted slightly in her chair.

It occurred to Callie that Margaret probably wasn't aware of her relationship with Arizona. It wasn't a secret; in fact, it was in the public domain but not many people outside of their circle actually knew that Callie and Arizona were anything more than business partners. Margaret Christiansen didn't know that Callie had a vested interest in her erstwhile affair with Arizona.

"I'm … I'm sorry… but I don't understand how you could have thought it even appropriate to come back to Arizona, especially after everything that you did to her. Why on earth would you do that?" Callie could hear the emotion seeping into her voice, she could feel it and tried to rein it in.

"Everything I did to her?" Margaret's cool response wasn't what Callie expected.

"What on earth do you imagine that I did to her?"

Callie opened her mouth and then paused.

It was an excellent question.

She was forcibly reminded of the fact that she didn't actually have much by way of real details. Arizona had been tight lipped about Peggy… Margaret… whatever it was she called herself.

"You took Arizona's patents and claimed them as your own." Callie made the accusation sound firm despite knowing she was on anything but a firm footing.

Margaret had the gall to tut and waved a delicate hand elegantly, dismissively.

"Psh," she tutted. "That was just an IP and propriety rights claim, nothing remotely sinister. I'm sure that's not what she told you. Arizona is far more sanguine about such matters. I would have thought a woman in your position would be extremely familiar with such disputes."

Callie gaped at her.

She talked as if what happened was nothing.

"Then why the subterfuge? Why not make it clear at the very beginning, at the interview, that you knew Arizona, that you were her ex-partner? You must see how … fraudulent you're being?"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. It was just business. Arizona knew that."

Until this point, and despite her episode with Ben Grant and her history with George, Callie had never truly considered how deep the violent streak within her ran. Under the tablecloth her hands clenched into fist so tight she could feel her short blunt nail pressing into her palms.

"That doesn't answer the question though, does it?" Callie bit the words out, even as she counted slowly in her head, willing the marching ants away. "You deliberately mislead me about who you really are."

Margaret's cool gaze scanned the room and for a moment Callie though that she was going to stand up and simply walk away.

She shrugged, her thin shoulders moving under the couture jacket she wore.

"I did have to consider the possibility that, had I been more … forthcoming, shall we say, about my little dalliance with Arizona, I wouldn't be properly considered for the job. It would have clouded matters unnecessarily." She leaned back in her chair and reaching out picked up her wine glass and took a long sip. It was if their discussion was of no more importance than the possibility of an early Fall.

"The reality is that I was the best person for the job, hence you hired me. That's all that really matters, don't you think?"

Callie really wanted to slap her.

"Do you have any idea what you did to Arizona? She was your partner, you were sharing a life together and you betrayed her completely." Callie knew that she had said more than was advisable when she saw the gleam in the other woman's eyes. It pleased Margaret Christiansen that she had hurt Arizona.

"She always was an overly sentimental, sensitive little thing."

Callie could feel the bile rise up in her throat. She could taste it and it took almost everything within her to keep her tremors under control.

"You're fired." Her voice was soft and low, even though she was screaming inside.

Margaret raised her eyebrows. Both of them.

Unbelievably, it seemed she hadn't been expecting that.

Even so, her polished exterior didn't crack.

"I am the best person to help take Arizona public. I know her work, I know the product and I have the market knowledge. You'd be very foolish to let sentimental considerations get in the way of good business."

Callie blinked. It was the second time someone had said those near exact same words to her.

About Arizona.

Callie resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. She would not give this cold and beautiful little wench the satisfaction of seeing her desperation.

She found that she couldn't respond, not right then and the women stared at each other in silence.

Margaret reached down into her handbag and pulled out a distinctive burgundy leather bound journal, a Mont Blanc and, flipping open to an empty page, began scrawling rapidly.

Distracted and bemused, Callie watched her for a moment, eying the distinctive leather journal and remembering Steph's comments about how much she had liked it.

"What are you doing?" she asked irritably. This day had gone to shit and she didn't know how exactly she was going to explain to Arizona that she had, essentially, given the fox a gold-plated, all-access pass to the hen house.

Margaret finished what she was writing and ripped the page from the journal, folded it twice and placed it on the table between them.

"It's just a short note to Arizona. Give it to her, would you? She knows that I'm one of the few people in the world that truly understands what she has achieved with this compound. I was with her at the beginning of its discovery; I want to be there at the end. I want to see the changes that can be made to medical science, I want to be part of it."

"You want …?" Callie couldn't believe the unmitigated, unabashed audacity of the woman. Words, quite literally, failed her. Which really was a feat.

Margaret, however, was unmoved by Callie's outrage.

"Arizona knows what I can bring to the table, even if you don't, Callie." She leaned back and gave Callie an appraising stare, her eyes flickering over her.

"I see now that your interest in Arizona is …" She tapped a finger against her lips, her eyes sharp on Callie's face, " … how to put this delicately… somewhat more than merely professional, hmm? Isn't it? But you're not to worry, dear, my interest in Arizona is purely intellectual. It always was." She nodded to the note on the table. "You're welcome to read that, if it will reassure you." She drained her wine glass, the tip of her tongue, small, sharp and pink, darting out and catching a stray droplet that rested on her thin lips. She rose to her feet. Silent, graceful, deadly.

"I imagine Arizona will be in touch as soon as you update her on today's developments. I look forward to hearing from you soon, Callie. No doubt, you'll want to rescind your hasty decision."

"I am your employer, not Arizona. I'm not giving her anything from you and anyway, all of your privileges will be revoked. I'm cancelling your contract. Don't you dare show up at RMB in London."

Margaret smiled, this time, what seemed genuine amusement lightening her eyes. "Do you know how much it will cost you to break my contract?"

Callie smiled in return, her eyes were cold.

"I wrote that contract, Margaret. It won't cost anywhere near as much as you think." She leaned back in her seat, her nerves settling and her smile as cold and as wide as a sharks.

"Kicking you to the curb will be worth every single cent." She reached for glass of water and took a sip, watching Margaret hover for a second. "You're dismissed, you can go ahead and leave."

Left only with the faint satisfaction of seeing the smile wiped from her face, Callie picked up her phone and didn't bother watching as Margaret walked away.

She blinked rapidly as the door closed behind the scientist and she was left to the silence of her own thoughts.

What the actual fuck just happened?

XXX

Callie knew that she couldn't put things off any longer.

She was flying out to Geneva for a few days and she had to let Arizona know what happened, particularly as Margaret … Peggy's replacement was due to start in the coming days.

She looked at her phone and briefly considered sending a text. Or maybe just talking to her over the phone.

She really gave that some thought but heaving a deep sigh, sat down at her laptop and clicked on the icon to FaceTime her.

There was a 6 hour time difference between the cities and Callie thought it best to speak with Arizona while she was at home. She'd have the opportunity to talk without distractions and if she was going to have a meltdown or freak out or something, at least she could do it in the privacy of her rented apartment.

Callie watched the icon connecting her to Arizona and began to chew on a thumb nail.

It might have been a good idea for her to plan what she was going to say. How she was going to explain what happened.

Callie had nothing.

She really didn't have one single good reason why, with all of her resources, not one person in her HR team had done a thorough background check. And Callie couldn't really blame anyone but herself. She had actually asked the question. She had wondered out loud why Margaret, jeez, Peggy's work history had been so light.

Abruptly, Callie cancelled the call before it connected and then slammed her laptop closed.

It was a fairly stupid move because Arizona could easily call her back.

Callie got up and started to pace.

She tried to think things through. She had to tell Arizona something but did she really have to tell her the reason why Margaret Christiansen was no longer the business manager? Surely she could simply say that the contract fell through or that Margaret was no longer available?

Was there really anything to be gained by upsetting Arizona right now?

Callie didn't exactly dwell on the memory of her promising never to lie to Arizona or to keep things from her.

This was different, wasn't it?

Callie also shied away from why she thought that Arizona might be upset by the mention of Margaret … Peggy.

She kept up her pacing and moved onto another finger nail.

Arizona didn't need this aggravation, she had enough to deal with. Right now, the very best that Callie could do for her was make sure that she had the support and expertise to help RMB through the launch and then the production phase. Anything else was a distraction, she told herself firmly as she continued to ruin her manicure.

Callie stopped in the middle of her office and reminded herself of a few things.

As much as she loved … adored Arizona, as much as she wanted to protect her, she couldn't shield her from every bad thing. It was misguided of her to even try.

She was not a knight in shining armour.

And Arizona was no damsel in distress.

But what if the news distracted her from her research?

What if … what?

Callie didn't know the end of sentence, she didn't really want to know how Arizona would react to the thought that her ex had been sniffing around, whatever the reason.

Callie grabbed handful of her hair and gripped it tightly, almost to match the tightness in her chest. She still had Margaret's note. She hadn't opened it, in truth, she hadn't even been tempted. But the question was there, scarcely buried, could Arizona actually want Peggy back in her life? Was it really possible? She had been insistent that she was no longer in love with the other woman and Callie had believed her, back then.

But now?

Callie pulled herself up.

Why would now be any different?

There was no good reason for her to doubt Arizona, there was nothing other than her own internal insecurities to give her pause. That and the fact that Arizona had barely ever spoken about Peggy. That day, last summer, they had gone to Portobello Road market and in the blazing sunshine, Arizona had told her a little of how Peggy had changed her. But that was all.

Callie stopped pacing and looked around her office for inspiration or help or distraction.

None was forthcoming and she stalled the desire to scream out loud.

She was being paranoid and weird and stupid.

Torres, calm the fuck down. Breathe and calm the fuck down.

Callie gave herself yet another pep talk, this one even more ridiculous than the last. But someone needed to talk some sense into her and she couldn't expect Steph to come off maternity leave to do it for her.

She had no need to ever, ever doubt Arizona's love for her.

The depth of the feelings that the blonde had for her were undeniable, deep and true. It did not matter what had happened in her past. Callie was Arizona's future. She had no doubt of that.

She pulled in a short, sharp breath and released a shuddering sigh.

Now that she had talked herself down from the ledge, it was time to speak to Arizona.

Callie sat back down behind her desk and reached for her laptop again. She caught sight of her nails, ragged, chewed and misshapen.

She was going to need a fresh manicure.

XXX

Arizona looked at the incoming FaceTime request on her laptop and closed her eyes.

She did not want to take this call.

She did not want to have this conversation.

She really didn't.

She was sitting at the kitchen table of her small rented apartment, just a short drive away from her laboratory and office, a half eaten dinner discarded in front of her and a pile of note books and journals scattered across the table. Under other circumstances, Arizona would still be at work, reviewing results and running tests but Callie and Martha had finally insisted that she was not to work more than 12 hours on any given day. She had just reached the 14 hour mark when she left the lab at 17:00.

The call ended abruptly and she breathed a sigh of guilty relief.

It was immature of her.

Her steadfast desire to avoid this particular conflict was immature.

More than that, it was dishonest or duplicitous or … or something.

Burying her head in the sand was something, to her shame, at which she was becoming quite proficient. The spectre of Peggy O'Neil still loomed large and for the life of her, Arizona had still not been able to determine whether her fear was real or imagined.

Martha had not been able to find out where Peggy had gone once the cheques had cleared and the dust had settled, but based on the information she had found out about Margaret Christiansen, she couldn't rule out that they were one and the same person.

Arizona knew she needed to talk to Callie about this. She knew that the FaceTime call that she had just ignored was a prompt for her to do the right and sensible thing.

But she could not bring herself to have that conversation; to have to explain to Callie why she was scared, why she didn't want Peggy back in her life. She'd have to lay herself bare, be totally exposed to Callie …

Arizona stopped her almost hysterical train of thought and buried her face in her hands.

How quickly she reverted to the person she once had been, Arizona mused, her face still covered in shame.

Callie was the one person in the entire world with whom she could be completely vulnerable. Callie loved her with her entire being, she literally radiated with it, she would never ridicule or blame Arizona for the mistakes she had made in the past.

What the hell was the matter with you? Arizona asked herself, almost distraught at the direction her thoughts had taken.

They had been apart for less than 6 months, all told, and somehow she had lost her mind and forgotten the love that they shared.

How have you become so weak?

Arizona uncovered her face and a couple of deep breaths, quelling the very real desire to scream out loud.

She really was losing her mind. Her anxiety over the unexpected results was making her nuts.

OK sure, she missed Callie, sometimes desperately so, she hated their long-distance relationship status but for the time being, it was all they had and she could not jeopardise it by being butt-monkey stupid.

"Ok. Alright, you can do this Robbins," she spoke softly to the empty room and rubbed her face and then nodded firmly, as if to seal the deal with herself.

She loved Callie and Callie loved her.

Nothing else mattered.

xxx

"Arizona, I love you. You know that, right?"

Arizona smiled but didn't look up from her laptop.

"Yes, Calliope, my love. I do know that."

"No, Arizona, look at me please …"

She looked up and tilted her head slightly, the smile still lingering.

"What did you do?" She asked in a sing-song voice, teasing.

"What? Me? No. I mean … no. I really mean it, you do know I love you."

There was a strange note in Callie voice and Arizona felt her smile fade. Callie's expression was kind of panicked and she felt a frisson of concern shiver through her. She'd picked Callie up from the airport and had noted that her partner had been a little less voluble than usual but as she had also been distracted, hadn't thought too much of it. But now, she could clearly see the lines of stress etched into Callie's face.

"Sweetheart, come sit by me." She reached out and pulled Callie down beside her, raising a hand to stroke her cheek. "Of course I know that you love me. I love you, too. Tell me what's wrong."

She watched as Callie chewed on her full lips for a second, her dark eyes flitting about the room as she evidently tried to marshal her thoughts.

"It's about my replacement, it's about Margaret Christiansen," she started and Arizona felt her heart plummet.

Callie sat beside her for all of 10 seconds before jumping up and pacing the length of the room, she was literally wringing her hands as she paced and Arizona willed her own anxiety back down. Both of them in a full-blown hysterical fit wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"I don't know how this happened, I wasn't paying attention and … and she was being totally devious about it but … but the main thing is … is that I found out in time and I fired her. OK? I fired her." Callie stopped pacing and turned to look expectantly at Arizona.

"Huh?" Arizona asked, inelegantly.

"I fired her." Callie repeated, helpfully.

Arizona screwed up her face and then blinked and tried to work out if she'd zoned out for a minute or two and missed a crucial piece of information.

"Okay…?" She prompted slowly, waiting for the missing piece of the jigsaw. Something Callie said pinged. "Margaret Christiansen was being devious?" She shook her head. "Cal, honey, I don't know what you're saying to me."

"Margaret Christiansen is Peggy O'Neill." Callie said, her words flat. She turned and faced Arizona head on, her face pale and Arizona could see something that looked like fear in her eyes.

"She married, changed her name, changed her career and when she heard about the job, thought it a good idea to try and …." Callie trailed off and shrugged her shoulders.

"Actually, I don't know what she thought, to be honest. She said she was there in the beginning and wanted to be there to … to help finish what you started together."

Arizona couldn't help the snort that came at Callie's words.

"Those were her words, not mine."

"You're kidding me, right? This is a joke?" Arizona hadn't known what to expect but it wasn't this. Actually, she had expected this, that undefined amorphous fear that had hovered over her suddenly crystallised. She felt wide, yawning hole open in her stomach and her heartbeat begin to race. This was not what she needed right now.

"No, not a joke and please don't be mad at me. I got rid of her and I'm getting someone else to take over as soon as possible."

Arizona shook her head, mystified at Callie's revelation, at the strangeness of Peggy O'Neill trying to re-enter her life after all this time. She looked up at Callie, who seemed stranded in the middle of the room, clasping her hands tightly.

"Why would I be mad at you? This isn't your fault."

Callie let out a strange slightly wild laugh and slowly came to sit back down. It was as if the wind had been let out of her and she slumped, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

"She's kind of the bogeyman, Arizona. I didn't want this to throw you off your game or make things even more stressful for you. You don't need this hassle right now and I'm mad at myself for … for …"

Arizona felt the yawning chasm within her slowly close in the face of Callie's real distress. Callie was here, tearing herself to bits over a woman who should have no power over either of them.

"For nothing," Arizona interrupted, reaching over and grasping Callie's hand. "There is no way you could ever have know that Peggy would have been deluded enough to try and work with me again. This isn't your fault." Arizona snorted out another laugh, though there was no humour in the sound. "This is just an example of her staggering arrogance."

"You've got rid of her. Let's just move on."

Callie turned to look at her.

"I thought you'd be angrier than this."

"I don't have time and I don't care. Seriously, let's move on."

Callie stared at her, her mouth slightly open.

"That's it? Let's move on?" Callie couldn't hide her scepticism.

Arizona threw her a look. It was a strange look, difficult to decipher, part irritated, part something Callie couldn't identify.

"What would you rather I do, Callie? Waste precious time trying to understand what's going on in her head?" She shook her head slightly, answering her own question.

"I don't have any time for this, Callie. I just don't. You've dealt with it. So. Let's move on. There really isn't anything else to say."

Callie chewed her lip and stared at her some more and Arizona took in a deep breath. There was clearly more to come.

"Go on, sweetie. Just tell me," she said quietly.

"She …. ummm …. she gave me a note to give to you. I have it here." Callie scrambled up and rummaged through her bag, pulling out a carelessly folded sheet of paper, offering it.

Arizona stared at Callie's outstretched hand and the sheet of paper, fluttering slightly. She didn't even need to think about it, snatching up the note, she ripped it in half and then screwed the pieces into a ball before tossing them into the fireplace.

Callie's eyes were wide and startled as she followed the progress of Arizona's hands. When the ball landed in the grate, she queried an eyebrow back at her.

"OK, I get the symbolism of the gesture but, are we just going to leave it there? Are we really planning on lighting a fire right now cause I'll def need to get the fire department on standby."

Arizona felt her lips stretch into a slight smile, Callie could always be relied on to make her feel better.

"C'mon, let's go to bed. I'm done with this day."

####

As much as Callie and Arizona would have liked to spend the night intimately reacquainting themselves with each other, the truth was that they were both far too tired, emotionally and physically and instead took comfort instead in their closeness, sharing a single pillow, their limbs entwined, Arizona snuggled close to Callie's body, her delicate fingers clutching at Callie's waist.

Callie relished the familiar weight of Arizona leaning against her, feeling her breath, warm and steady, almost hearing the solid and reassuring beat of her heart. It soothed her, it brought her some peace. But not enough to help her fall asleep and despite her attempts to distract herself, Callie was all too aware of the reason for her disquiet.

Arizona had taken the news of Peggy's attempted machinations far too easily.

She'd barely had a reaction and it bothered Callie. Somehow, she had expected Arizona to have been angrier, more reactive, maybe even sad.

Something.

But the determined blonde had almost been dismissive about the whole affair and Callie couldn't help but wonder if there was more going one beneath the surface that Arizona was unwilling to share.

Callie was willing to admit that it could be just her own insecurity talking, it was also entirely possible that Arizona lacked the bandwidth to deal with another crisis in the form of Peggy O'Neill and was better at compartmentalising that Callie was.

It could be nothing at all.

Ot it could be the start of a ticking time-bomb that she had no idea how to defuse.

##

"There has to be another way."

"It will take far too long, we'll lose all investor interest."

"Maybe delaying a year or so …."

"No. Absolutely not." Arizona raised her voice and spoke decisively at the suggestion of delaying the IPO.

He straightened the tie he wasn't used to wearing and then shuffled the papers in front of him, working extremely hard not to make eye contact with anyone else in the conference room.

There was a few moments of silence and he chanced a look up, hoping that equanimity had been restored.

He was mistaken and found the 2 women, the one he had been employed by and the one he had been employed for glaring at each other. It was as if a grenade had been thrown into the middle of the room and no one was willing to pick it up.

The small American assistant, he couldn't remember her name, the one who had just had a baby and had returned to work immediately coughed ostentatiously and suggested a short break. It was as if every other occupant of the room channelled Usain Bolt as they vied for the fastest means out of an awkward meeting. He left last and closed the door, smiling vacuously at no one and and wishing he was back sipping a coffee at the Port or strolling all Dizengoff enjoying the warm sunshine and shopping instead of this non-rain, misty dampness that seeped into his bones. Itamar Levi had only been in post for a week and a half and though wasn't regretting taking this job, he was wondering what he'd let himself in for.

Arizona barely waited for the door to close on her colleagues before erupting, lurching to her feet and leaning over the conference table at Callie.

"Calliope, there is no way I am delaying the IPO. It will damage the company's reputation, my reputation irretrievably. How do you not see this?" She could feel the heat in her face and was vaguely aware of her raised voice but she had come too far, she had worked too hard and for too long to give up now. Why on earth couldn't Callie see that?

Callie leaned back in her chair and carefully straightened her notes in front of her and then clasped her hands. She looked at Arizona, her dark eyes running over her from top to bottom, appraising. It wasn't a come on, Callie didn't check her out at work. At least not when they were being really serious. Like now. Finishing her perusal, Callie finally spoke.

"Do you honestly think that I would ever do anything that wasn't in the very best interest of your work? Do you?" Her words were quietly spoken, sure and without a trace of the anger and frustration Arizona was feeling. The wind taken from her sales, Arizona slumped back in her chair and gritted her teeth. Being calm and rational was one of the tactics Callie had used to great effect when they first started working together. It was strange that Callie was ostensibly the one with the anger management issues but could be so infuriatingly calm when she wanted to be.

"Callie, delaying the release of the drug will finish me." Arizona massaged her forehead, feeling the tension beneath her finger tips.

"It is only one option that we can consider," Callie said. "There are other options but we have to think what could happen to your reputation if we were to launch the drug now, whilst this glitch is still throwing up problems." Callie leaned forward in her chair, staring up at her. "Worse case scenario, hon, what happens to your reputation if the worst should happen?"

"Glitch?" Arizona threw Callie a caustic look.

"That's what you're focusing on, a layman's term?"

Arizona could see the faintest glimmer of amusement in Callie's eyes. She knew she was being a brat but right now really just wanted to throw a full-on tantrum. She was so close. So close to achieving her life's work and it felt like everything was being taken away from her.

She closed her eyes for a moment and heard Callie get up and come round to sit next to her.

"Sweetheart, I know this is hard. I understand what it feels like to be so close to the finishing line and suddenly have all these roadblocks in the way." Callie's words were gentle and mirrored her thoughts almost exactly.

"The problems aren't insurmountable but, if you really don't want to delay the IPO, then we may have to seek out solutions that you may not be entirely happy with."

Arizona straightened at that and looked into Callie's eyes.

"Well, that doesn't sound ominous at all. Solutions like what, exactly?" she crossed her arms over her chest and felt the tension within her rise.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not asking you to sell your soul to the devil but you may need to explore all sorts of compromises to get us over the finishing line."

"Like what?"

Callie narrowed her eyes little at Arizona's tone but didn't react, which was just as well because Arizona had no intention of being reasonable right now. She hated the word compromise, particularly when it came to her work and every single alarm bell was ringing right now.

"Let me get everyone else back in, we are going to throw every single idea into the pot to see what options are available. You're going to need anyone who worked on the project with you to help unpick the exact reason you're not getting the results you want."

##

If Callie had hoped for the rest of the meeting to have gone smoother, she was destined for disappointment. As much as she understood Arizona's extreme reluctance to involve anyone else, she hadn't been expecting the stubborn blonde to have found fault with almost every suggestion that had been brought to the table. She appeared utterly determined to resolve the issue herself, without external support and to get it done in time for the launch. The conference table was strewn with the remnants of a hasty lunch brought in by Martha and Robbie, sandwich wrappers and coffee cups balanced precariously beside the brochures and notes. They had been at it for hours, the CFO quietly excused himself when he realised he had little to offer, as had Callie's replacement, Itamar. A couple of Arizona's grad students still working with her and not based in Geneva were called in for their input and Callie stayed because she was as stubborn as Arizona when it came down to it.

Callie hated fighting with Arizona, particularly over work and especially in public but they had been on a collision course the last 90 minutes.

"Crowd-funding?" The distain in her voice was clear. "How is that even remotely useful?"

Callie shot her a look and dragged a smile to her face.

"Sorry, I didn't express myself clearly. What I meant was like a treasure hunt. You know how the world of theoretical maths and physics publish these theories on-line and in special journals and ask people to solve the equation or prove them or something?" She looked round the room to see if anyones else knew what she was talking about? A few nods encouraged her to continue.

"If we publish a portion of the formulae that's causing the problem …." Arizona was vehemently shaking her head. "Absolutely not …"

"At least let me finish …." Callie tried to finish her pitch. She knew it wasn't a great idea but they were out of plausible solutions right now.

"I am not publishing the formula to the public, what the hell are you thinking? I might as well give the whole damn thing away …"

"I'm talking about just a small segment and offer a massive reward or prize, I don't know a quarter of a million bucks or something, it might shake some ideas loose." She looked round the room to see if anyone had anything to add. But Arizona had got to her feet gathering her papers together in a messy pile.

"Callie, I know …" She stopped and seemed to gather herself, scratching her brow for a second. "Let's call it a day, shall we? I think maybe we re-convene at the labs tomorrow morning before I fly back to Geneva and we take another look at things. If anyone has any workable ideas, we can review them then. Otherwise, I'm going to do exactly what I should have already started which is simply retrace my steps from the beginning." She looked around the room, her gaze flickering but not settling on Callie.

Everyone hustled out of the room, starting with Arizona until Callie found herself alone. She stared the mess left behind, knowing that the cleaning crew would take care of the mess within a matter of minutes. She was tired and ratty and she knew she had to speak with Arizona. She knew her partner was unwilling to compromise when it came to her work but they were running out of time and options. As much as she hated the idea, Callie knew that she had make Arizona see reason.

She made her way slowly to Arizona's office, wondering whether she needed to rip the band aide off or try and handle her with kids gloves. She opened the door and eased her way in.

"A massive treasure hunt with a million dollar prize? That's your answer? To just throw money at the problem?" Arizona was sat behind her desk, a stack journals and notebooks piled in front of her. Her face was slightly flushed, the emotion flashing in her blue eyes.

Callie took a breath. It seemed that Arizona had chosen the approach for her. Shrugging her shoulders, Callie sat herself opposite Arizona and stared hard.

"I don't see why not, I kind of think it's a better idea than sticking my head into the sand, honey."

"Offering a cash prize like some state lottery will only flush out the snake oil salesmen, we need quantifiable and qualitative research not some Vegas gimmick." Arizona tossed a notebook aside, glaring at Callie's remark. "I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm dealing with the matter in a professional manner, like a scientist. If you were ever made to work a summer job as a teenager, you might have a better grasp of how money motivates the very worst of humanity."

Callie sucked in her breath at that remark.

"Wow, Arizona. Really?" She paused and took another breath, knowing that snapping back at her wasn't going to help.

"I'm going to ignore that comment for now because you're stressed and upset and I think it's fair to say you don't know the first damn thing about what I was or wasn't made to do as a teenager." Callie closed her eyes for a second, that wasn't exactly ignoring the comment. "Look, Arizona, you might be approaching this … this … issue like a scientist and that's all well and good. I … we have to look at it from a business perspective. That means we need to have contingencies in place. We need more than a hope and a prayer that you'll get the results we need." Callie clamped her jaw shut. That might have been a little harsh. It wasn't even what she meant. Arizona was flicking through her notebooks and jotting comments down. Though her head was lowered, her hair obscuring part of her face, Callie could read her angry expression. Despite her best efforts, this was descending into a fight and Arizona didn't need this additional aggravation.

"Honey … Arizona … come on, please, look at me." Tilting her face and raising an eyebrow, Arizona arranged her face into an expression of exaggerated interest and politeness, gesturing, with a wave of her hand, for Callie to continue.

"I have every confidence that you can do this, sweetheart. I know you can, that's not even a question. But we have a very fixed timescale and we must have a fall-back position. It's exactly what a board of directors would insist upon. OK? We need a plan if we can't resolve the issue. That's all I'm saying." She leaned back in her chair, hoping that Arizona was going to be a little more amenable now.

"I don't want to put more pressure on you …"

Arizona laughed out loud at that. It wasn't an entirely amused sound.

"C'mon. Don't be like that," Callie wondered if pouting would make things better or worse.

"Callie, all I feel is pressure," Arizona said, her posture losing a smidgeon of its stiffness. "The pressure from myself, pressure from the scientific and medical community to get this right, pressure from you to get it done in time. Pressure from myself," she repeated the words quietly and blew out a deep sigh, the anger and frustration from the meeting apparently easing out of her.

"Okay, I … empathise with that," Callie said carefully. "What do you want from me, how can I help?"

"I just need you, I need everyone to back off and let me do my job."

"Fine, until when? You need to give me a date, something quantifiable that we are both working towards. An end date that we both agree is the point of no return or whatever."

Arizona sighed again and ran her hands through her hair, her smooth brow crinkled as she thought.

"If it makes it any easier, the IPO is scheduled for 10 weeks time. We can delay up to 4 weeks before and cite supply problems or distribution difficulties as the reason for the delay without it being catastrophic." Callie offered.

"OK. Sure. Why not?" Arizona shrugged and turned her face away. "I have 6 weeks to solve this little riddle or you take over and do what you need to do."

"Arizona," Callie said, softly, feeling her stomach drop at Arizona's words.

"We're on the same side here. We're both working towards the same goal. I am not the enemy." She tried to read Arizona's expression, tried to work out if she was just frustrated and lashing out or whether they were really in trouble.

"Arizona …" But before she could press the matter further or even get a response, Itamar, knocked briskly and came in, not waiting for a response.

"Ah, Callie. Good, you're here. You need to hear this deal before you go." He sat in the only other vacant seat across form Arizona, unaware or uncaring of the tension in the room. He thrust his iPad at Callie.

"Here, look at this. It's an Europe-wide distribution deal and it's a very good one."

Arizona looked up at him.

"Itamar, we really don't need to do this now. It can wait. We need a product before we can worry about distribution."

Callie decided not to intervene; she'd already primed Itamar on all of the tricks and bad habits that she suspected Arizona would try once she had the opportunity. It wasn't that Arizona was being deliberately obstructive, but Callie had gradually come to realise that she was the archetypical scientist, she had little interest and not a huge aptitude for the business side of her endeavour. She would rather spend all of her time in the lab.

"There is no time like the present, right?" Itamar pressed on and Callie accepted the iPad looking at the numbers and geographical map and routes displayed.

"Itamar, you can see I'm busy, right?"

Itamar looked at her and smiled. Despite his rugged features and physical build that spoke of daily cross-fit sessions, he had an almost impish grin.

"We are all busy, Arizona and if we get this locked off now, it's one less thing you have to worry about." If things hadn't been so fraught right now, Callie would have inwardly cheered at his tenacity but now she just watched Arizona carefully out of the corner of her eye, not fully taking in the details he was showing her.

"I spoke with one of the directors to schedule a pre-lim meeting. Apparently, you already know the owner, he's one of your competitors but has the absolute best links in the country. It's going to save us a huge amount of time and money."

Itamar's words suddenly gained both of their full attention.

A competitor? One that they already knew the owner? Callie couldn't help herself and snorted out a laugh as she swiped through the pages, seeing Benjamin Grant's discreet logo at the corner of the page.

"Their owner tried to force Arizona into liquidation so that he could take over the IP of the drug and market it as his own," Callie explained. It seemed like such a long time ago.

Itamar's bushy eyebrows rose at that. "That might make the negotiation meetings a little awkward."

##

It was gone midnight and Arizona knew that she should have come home sooner. She ignored the fact that she had given serious thought to spending the night in her office and finally some remnant of good sense had forced her to come home. The house was shrouded in darkness, except for the lamp in the hallway that Callie always left on. Arizona could never figured out whether it was because she forgot to turn it off, or because she didn't want Arizona to return to a darkened home.

"Callie," she called softly. "You still up?"

Callie had been working on improving her sleep habits and that meant going to bed at a decent hour. She probably went to bed an hour ago and if it had occurred to Arizona at the time or if her phone had been switched on at any point in the last 6 hours, Arizona might even had found a message or two from Callie, updating the blonde on her activities or just to keep in touch.

Arizona wandered through to the kitchen, where the table and counter tops were pristine and devoid of any of Callie's extravagant creations. She opened the fridge to find a couple of covered dishes, presumably her dinner but no cute or sexy note that Callie usually attached to Arizona's late or missed meals. It was hardly surprising that Callie might be in a bit of a snit right now. Arizona could admit, at least to herself that she'd been pretty badly behaved today. And that was just with the deadline that had been imposed. There was now the added spectre of having work with Benjamin Grant, if Itamar had his way. She wasn't entirely certain she liked the new guy, he was pushy and a little brusque but Callie seemed pleased with him, so she guessed he must be pretty good.

Arizona helped herself to a bottle of water and slowly sipped, staring blindly at nothing. She knew she should really go up to bed and get some sleep but she was avoiding a difficult conversation. There was always the option of catching a little shut eye on the couch in her study but that would really piss Callie off and Arizona knew there was only so far she could push her partner before something had to give.

The decision of what to do next was taken out of her hands as Callie walked into the kitchen with an empty mug.

"Hey," Arizona greeted her inanely, inwardly rolling her eyes.

"You made it home," Callie said, giving her a once over, as if looking for signs of something.

"Calliope, of course I made it home," Arizona responded, almost exasperated before she could engage her brain. Again ignoring the fact that she had thought about staying away, this was not being conciliatory, which was something that was greatly called for, right now. She really didn't want to fight with Callie.

"Of course you made it home," Callie mimicked, half under her breath. "Right." Arizona figured she deserved that and stood feeling awkward and embarrassed as Callie rinsed her mug out and then placed it in the dishwasher. After carefully drying her hands and folding the hand towel over the oven door handle with as much precision as would a surgeon, Callie finally turned and looked at Arizona.

"So?" Callie raised her eyebrow and with that tiny word, expressed a wealth of meaning.

"Ok," Arizona nodded, accepting the unspoken rebuke, wondering if she was going to be let off easily.

"OK what, Arizona?" Callie's preternatural calm deserted her and she flung her hands up. "You literally described me as the enemy today, Arizona. You dismissed everything idea I had, you cast aspersions about my upbringing, which was a pretty low blow to be honest and you were generally acting like it was you against the world. Like it was you against me." She seemed to run out of steam. "What the actual fuck, Arizona? Are we back to this again? We have been together for over a year. We have worked together for nearly two years Do you really have that little faith in me?"

Arizona didn't need to see the hurt in Callie's beautiful eyes to know that not only had she had allowed her intractable nature to get the better of her, she'd also hurt the woman she loved. Arizona could feel the tightness in her throat and her stomach churn. She hated to feel this way.

"OK, I'm sorry, Calliope. I truly am … I just …. It was a shock to me …."

"How could it possibly be a shock to you, Arizona?" Callie's words burst out of her in a rush. "We have been talking about the deadline for the IPO for months. How could you possibly say that you didn't know that you, along with every other person working day and night to get this product off the ground, that you didn't know the deadline applied to you as well?"

"Of course, I knew that Callie, I'm not completely oblivious." In the back of her mind, Arizona knew that she should be working on apologising and keeping a hold of her temper.

"Today was a shock hearing it stated so bluntly. I just want to be able to deliver something I know will make a difference in the world and all this stuff is just getting in the way of real work."

Callie pinched the bridge of her nose and then shook her head slightly, Arizona could see that she was still pretty mad.

"Honey, you are not that naïve. You know how the world of business works because I know I frigging told you." Callie blew out a breath and then another and Arizona could see that she was trying to calm herself down. She closed her eyes a second at the thought that she really upset Callie and then moved quickly across the kitchen to stand in front of her, close but not quite touching.

"Callie, I'm sorry."

"This is all your work and you need to decide if you want it buried in obscurity or if you want it available for the world or not. Only you can make that decision, Arizona." Callie looked down at her, her face resolute. "I will do everything in my power to understand whatever decision you make and I will always have your back but you have to decide what you want to do and you have to accept all of the consequences that go with that decision. You can't have your cake and eat it, Arizona. None of us can."

"Callie, I'm truly sorry for … for lashing out at you today. I'm tired and stressed and frustrated and I took it out on you. And I'm sorry."

Callie's face was unreadable and that was a first. Arizona felt a reason frisson of unease curl through her. Had she pushed Callie too far?

Callie shrugged, a mere movement of her shoulders. Arizona suddenly noticed that Callie was wearing her oversized Daffy Duck PJ's, with the frayed hem and Arizona felt her heart catch at the sight.

"Apology accepted. What do you want to do? Do you want time to think about this?"

"No, Callie. Of course not. You know I want this."

"Tell me what this is. I want to hear you say it, just so that we're both really clear."

Swallowing all of the emotions that she could feel bubbling up, Arizona nodded calmly. "I want for RMB Biomedical to go public as soon as possible. I want to raise the necessary funds though a public offer of the company to help finance the drug and I want to make it widely available on the global market. I understand that if I can't resolve the intermittent fault that is showing up in the clinical trials that I will have to delay the IPO." Arizona recited carefully, as if she knew that she'd have to say this at some point.

"But, I have 6 weeks to resolve this issue. I know I have the answer and I am going to move heaven and earth to get it. I will do whatever it takes to make sure we stick to the original plan."

"Is that honestly what you really want?" Callie was still a little stiff and distant. Not hard and no longer angry but the wall hadn't come all the way down.

Arizona took a chance and reached out to catch hold of Callie's hand, placing it on her chest.

"Sweetheart, I know it's only been a year but you know me. You know me so well, you know what's in my heart. You know how much I want this. Please. I'm sorry I lashed out at you."

Without responding, Callie moved into her and wrapped her arms around Arizona, holding her close.

"I love you, Arizona and it tears me up inside when you turn on me. Please, please tell me you're scared, tell me you're stressed and overwhelmed but don't turn on me. Please."

"I love you, Callie. And I promise."

###

"And you really allowed that to happen? On your watch?" Mark squinted at her. "I gotta say, Cal, this woman of yours is making you soft."

Callie rolled her eyes at Mark and resumed her doodling. She'd been back in New York for a few days but this was this first time she had to catch Mark up on the most recent events in London. She'd chewed him out good and proper over the Margaret Christanssen / Peggy O'Neal debacle and he'd been a little miffed with her for a few days, stating the fact that she had wilfully hid her identity. Which was a fair point. So Callie had made it up to him with a nice bottle of his favourite scotch.

"No, Cal. Really. You're letting Arizona do business with the man whose brains you nearly bashed out?"

Callie winced.

It sounded surreal and bizarre that she'd so completely lost control of herself. For a moment, her mind flashed back to the violence she endured when she was with George. Physically shaking her head, she dismissed the images. She'd used up a whole lot of emotional energy with Nerissa to come to terms with the person she used to be. There was no need to re-hash the past. She brought herself back to Mark's incredulity.

"That's not the point, Mark. It's business. Ben Grant has the best and most cost effective distribution routes in Eastern European, Asia and Africa. They are, literally, second to none. I might hate the guy with passion but he will save Arizona's company a whole lot of time, money and effort in trying to replicate those same supply routes." She shrugged trying to rid herself of the disquiet she still felt. Though she and Arizona assured each other that they were fine, and by unspoken agreement, that their relationship was still solid, Callie was uneasy. It was like she was waiting for the other shoe to fall. Now, she totally understood that part of her unease was simply that she and Arizona were apart and they didn't like the reality of a long-distance relationship. Callie also knew that she thrived on working closely with Arizona and missed that as well. But she couldn't help thinking that Arizona's reaction to the idea of postponing the IPO was disproportionate.

"And … what? Suddenly, neither of you care about his prior bad acts?"

Callie scratched her neck, and then loosened her shoulders, distracted, irritated.

"It's not that we don't, it's that he … his company has something that we need. We get into bed with the devil all the damn time, Mark. You know this as well as anyone."

Mark shrugged and stretched his legs out for a second.

"Well, you're the boss."

"Nah. Arizona's the boss. Anyway, what do you have for me?" Callie turned her attentions away from her problems in London to her problems in New York.

"Nathaniel Browne is definitely affiliated with Patterson and he's already indicated that he wants to take up his place on the board." Mark ran his fingers through his immaculately trimmed beard. "Unfortunately, there's no chance he's going to be a silent partner."

Callie nodded. It didn't have to be a problem. This new guy might not align with Paterson even though they were apparently close. She didn't need to see a catastrophe around every corner.

"Callie, I'm sorry to do this but, I think we have a catastrophe on our hands with this guy."

Callie looked at Mark and almost wanted to laugh, even as she felt her stomach sink.

"Mark, can we not?" She resisted the urged to bury her face in her hands.

"How are you doing on replacing those shares you sold?"

"Nowhere near enough," her reply was succinct.

Mark rubbed his face with both hands.

"Honey, this really isn't good. We are going to need to tread carefully on everything to avoid any voting issues. You need to keep a low profile."

"The whole idea of me being back stateside was to increase my profile in the company. I can't do both, Mark."

"I get it but if you have any major plans or innovations, you're going to have to set them aside for a while. Anything that has to go to the board for a vote is going to display your vulnerability."

"We don't know that for sure."

Mark looked at her and shrugged, his face glum.

"You really want to put your confidence in the rest of the board to the test?"

Callie leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

She really didn't.

##

"You know, Dr A, I could have got a job at Ikea if I wanted to spend my days hauling boxes of stuff about," Robbie grumbled as he shouldered his way into the conference room with another sealed box.

Arizona looked up and, despite the state she was in, found a smile come to her face as Robbie paled, belatedly realising that Martha was in the conference room with Arizona. The dour Scotswoman was obscured behind the increasing stack of boxes he was helping to bring to the offices.

"What was that?" Martha spoke softly. Even Arizona shivered at the tone.

"Nothing, Martha. Honest. Nothing. I'm not complaining at all," Robbie, all 6 foot plus of him stuttering. "I haven't forgotten that there's a recession on and that I'm lucky to have such a well-paid position."

Arizona raised her eyebrows. That recited little speech didn't sound even remotely like Robbie she idly wondered how many times Martha had drilled it into him.

"Ah, be on with yer, lad." Martha waved her hand dismissing him, tutting as he edged out of the room slowly.

"You really shouldn't terrorise the poor guy, he's only young."

"Old enough to know which side his bread is buttered on. I cannae abide moaning and whinging, you should know that well enough, Arizona."

"He doesn't moan and whinge. Does he?" She looked up suddenly, seeking respite from her current drudgery.

"Arizona, Robbie is perfectly fine and knows that he has your support, if and when he wants to move on to something else. You need to focus on the job at hand." She nodded her head at the boxes, neatly stacked and the piles of identical note books and journals spanning more than 10 years of her career. She was starting from the year dot, methodically searching, month by month and year by year through her research, to try and find some inkling that would help her resolve the glitch in her particular matrix. It was taking forever and she was well aware that she only had 4 short weeks left before Callie's ultimatum was enforced.

She had to stop calling it Callie's ultimatum. Arizona knew she wasn't being fair. They were fine, she knew they were fine but she had been difficult and unfair and it had clearly hurt Callie. Still treating her as the big, bad wolf, even as a joke was potentially damaging to their relationship and Arizona knew it. She just needed to double-down and get the work done.

"I remember these fancy things." Martha ran a finger along the smallest stack of leather journals. Unlike the boxes of utilitarian and generic notebooks that filled the several boxes that Robbie had hauled from Arizona's attic and her offices at the University, these were of far more luxurious and exclusive stock. "They cost a fortune and her ladyship insisted on them, didn't she?" Martha glance sharpened as she ran her gaze over the pile.

"You sure you have everything? She didn't keep any did she?"

Arizona heart sped up and then slowed down. It hadn't even occurred to her that Peggy or Margaret, as she was now calling herself, might have taken any of her work. Though they had worked closely, their research had been separate and the formulae and research that she had, effectively stolen, was on different projects.

The journals were dated and numbered. It wouldn't take too long to find out if any were missing. Arizona shut her eyes for a second. She had been adamant that she would never let Peggy O'Neill back in her life. She wasn't changing her mind about that.

##

"What is it?" Arizona stared at the thick, buff envelope that Martha was offering to her. There was nothing especially remarkable about the envelope, it looked one of the dozens she received every week and usually palmed off to Martha or Itamar to deal with.

"It was your birthday present from Callie, from last year." Martha seemed almost fidgety as she hovered in the door way of the conference. "She missed the day by a couple of weeks but you two weren't together then, and I haven't forgotten how strange you are about you birthday, so I didn't tell her."

Arizona blinked a little. "My birthday was over 6 months ago, Martha."

"You don't say," Martha's fidgets seemed to pause for moment to allow her customary caustic dryness to seep through. "I gave it to you the night before and I'm darned certain that I told you that it was from Callie."

"OK, maybe I forgot, this one little envelope. She did some lovely things for me that day." Arizona allowed herself a moment on nostalgia. Callie truly was the most thoughtful, lovely person. She did wonderful things for her all the time. Arizona felt a slight stab of guilt. She was nowhere near as demonstrably affectionate as Callie and wondered if she needed to work harder at expressing her love for the other woman. It wasn't like it would be a hardship. They just needed to get over this hump. Once the IPO had been completed, Arizona knew they'd have more time for each other. Time and space to re-connect.

"Arizona, Callie does lovely things for you everyday," Martha, uncannily repeated her thoughts. "You really should pay more attention. Whatever's in there was pretty important." She waited, expectantly.

Arizona looked at the pile of notebooks she still had to get through in the next hour before she took a video call from one of the hospitals still carrying out clinical trials.

"Right now?"

"No, Arizona. Not right now. I reminded you about it this morning, so you could forget about it again until your next birthday," Martha tapped on the face of her watch, indicating the passage of time.

Remembering that discretion was the better part of valour, Arizona figured opening the envelope would be quicker that arguing with Martha. Ripping at the re-enforced envelope, she upended the contents onto the conference table. There was a hand-written letter from Callie and a legal document. Arizona allowed her eyes to scan the document for a second before the words started to sink in. She felt, rather that heard her gasp and she blinked before reading again, slower this time.

"Well, what is it? What does it say?"

Arizona snatched up the letter and started to read it, the single, heavy page of monogrammed stationary fluttering slightly in her trembling hand. Arizona's other hand rested at her throat, she could feel her pulse pounding under her finger tips.

"Arizona, what's happened?"

###

Callie was expecting Arizona to call in a little bit. The last of the late spring daylight hadn't faded and Callie would have loved to driven to Central Park for an evening stroll. They had done that a couple of times, just a few short months ago, the last time Arizona visited. She felt a smile come to her face as she remember Aria teasing Arizona over dinner. That had been such a great evening, one of the best.

She sighed and checked the time, it was nearly 19:00. She and Arizona had settled on a pattern of exchanging a couple of texts and voice messages through their respective days and nights and tried to speak everyday around Arizona's lunch time when she was in London. Arizona had been trawling through all of her old workbooks and, for once, had heeded some advice and was using her grad students to lighten the load a little. She'd been able to narrow down the sections of her work that required review and everyone knew, more or less, what they were looking for. It had also given Arizona a couple of theories to test. They still had a little over 3 weeks but Callie didn't know whether to be confident or scared. She wanted to tell Arizona how much faith and trust she had in her and in her abilities, but she didn't want to add more pressure. And blind faith was one thing, cold hard facts were something else. This was a scientific solution that was being sought and Callie was painfully aware that her frame of reference was narrow. She had no more than an educated guess as to whether is was reasonable to think that Arizona could solve this problem, on her own, in the time she had left or not. Even though she knew that it was sound business and that they really had no choice in the matter, Callie knew that Arizona had been intensely unhappy with the way things had played out. It felt like an ultimatum and in a way it was but they were out of options. They had both smoothed over the gaps and things were back on an even keel, but Callie couldn't wait for the IPO to be done. She wanted more time in her life to devote to Arizona. She knew they weren't quite there yet but she was kind of excited to think about their future together.

She checked her watch again, anticipation for Arizona's call and the prospect of what might come in the near-future bringing a soft smile to her face.

"Ah, Callie, so glad to see you here, burning the midnight oil." Claude Patterson, pretty and prissy as ever, floated in and, without invitation sat down and unbuttoned his jacket.

"It's barely 19:00, Claude, this does not count as burning the midnight oil," her expression soured a little at his entrance, but she knew she had to keep things civil.

"Where are you off to, all gussied up?" she asked. Claude was wearing an exquisitely cut evening suit, clearly on his way to dinner or to Broadway.

"I'm taking Browne to dinner, give him a few pointers, you know, show him the lay of the land, as it were." Claude straightened his cuffs and smiled coyly at Callie.

She kept her smile pleasant and nodded even as she felt her stomach clench a little. She had a brief and cordial conversation with Nathanial Browne a few weeks back. He'd been polite but non-committal and had declined her invitation to dinner in the city, citing a family event he had to return home to attend.

"Hmm, I think he mentioned flying in this week," she lied through her teeth. It was a surprise that he was in town and that Claude was squiring him around was unlikely to be a coincidence.

Claude smiled his beautiful and malicious smile and Callie tried not to react. He could just be toying with her.

"I'm thinking of calling a meeting, in a coupe of weeks, once Browne is fully up to speed." Claude said, watching Callie's face closely.

Callie reached for some papers on her desk and began to scan them, feigning disinterest in Claude's comments.

"Next board meeting isn't for a few months yet, Claude."

"Except when there's extraordinary business to be discussed," he corrected.

Callie put her papers down, now was probably not the time for power plays. She gave him her full attention.

"Extraordinary business?"

"I want RMB Biomedical as part of our portfolio. You can make it happen, but chose not to do so. I'd like it discussed formally." Claude stated his case succinctly and calmly.

Callie stared at him for a moment, her mind working overtime. There was something she was missing. Claude's demands weren't new but he'd stated them without his customary histrionics. It was so unlike him that it put Callie immediately on alert.

"OK. What else?" she asked, wondering if she was going to regret the question.

He shrugged elegantly, his sculpted shoulders moving under the flawless tailoring of his dinner jacket. "Is that not enough to call a board meeting?"

Callie blinked at him silently.

"Well, I appreciate that it might be a little … awkward … shall we say, for you, Calliope, my dear, but business is business and all that." He stood and buttoned his jacket, his perfect smile not once reaching his eyes.

"Have a good evening, dear. Don't stay too late."

"Goodnight, Claude. Give Nathaniel my regards," Callie smile was as insincere as Claude's. There was nothing to be gained from baiting him right now. Any board member could convene a meeting. He had a legitimate right to raise matters of acquisition to the board. Callie would have to start working on reasons why RMB wasn't a good choice for CalTech. The problem was that RMB was perfect for them, it was the right size, it was on the cusp of turning a massively successful and lucrative IPO. The only real barrier to her company swallowing up RMB was the fact that Arizona didn't want it. She was insistent that she wanted to remain independent, or as independent as she could be and certainly she didn't want to be part of some conglomerate.

And Callie got that. She understood and supported it. She just had to find a way of convincing the rest of the board that RMB wasn't as juicy as it seemed. Delaying the IPO was one way of ensuring that interest would wane, but it could damage the brand, something Arizona was convinced would happen.

Callie propped her forehead in her hand and closed her eyes, trying hard to think of a solution. It was possible the only reason Claude was pursuing RMB was because of Callie's personal interest. If she could convince Claude that she was no longer invested in Arizona and, by extension, RMB, he might lose all interest himself. It was a long shot and there was no real way of proving to Claude the she wasn't interested in Arizona and RMB other than publicly breaking up with her. Which she had no intention of doing and the idea of faking a break up was juvenile and unlikely to work and Arizona would think she was nuts.

"C'mon, c'mon. Think." Callie spoke out loud, softly. She could feel the tightness in her shoulders, in her gut, in her head.

The other options was if she could convince the board that buying RMB wasn't as good a deal as Claude was stating.

Except that it was. It totally was and everyone knew it.

If the IPO was postponed, there would be a fair amount of negative press, exactly as Arizona feared, but it would diminish external interest, maybe. It might persuade the board against trying to buy RMB. Arizona's company would be safe from Callie's but her reputation might be in tatters.

Callie couldn't do that to her, she wouldn't. She also had no idea what she was going to do about Patterson and Browne.

##

Arizona was still trembling.

She couldn't quite work out whether she was surprised or shocked or happy or even a little sad. Martha had been a little shocked as well, and made some pithy remark in her impenetrable Glaswegian accent before patting Arizona's shoulder and leaving her alone.

It was time to call Callie for their daily FaceTime chat and as she fumbled with her laptop, Arizona wasn't entirely sure how much sense she was going to make. As was expected, Arizona recognised Callie's office as the video connected. She felt that little dip in her stomach as Callie smiled at her.

"Hey sweetie, did you get some lunch?" Callie sounded a little subdued as she as spoke. It was her usual greeting for this time of the day and Arizona usually stretched the truth a little unless Robbie or Martha had caught up with her. This time she held up the remnants of a half eaten salad.

"Calliope Rodrigo Torres, what have you done?" Arizona could hear the wonder in her voice and leaned closer to her screen as if it could help her be actually closer to Callie.

"Ummm. I don't know, hon. What did I do?" Callie smiled and raised her eyebrows.

Holding up the documents, Arizona took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I only just opened this. Martha gave it to me in September and said that you had given in to her early October the year before that. I'm so sorry I hadn't look at it before now."

Callie blinked at the documents that Arizona was holding up to her and a snort of laughter burst out of her. "Oh, right. That."

Arizona tilted her head, Callie seemed a little off right now.

"Callie, you've returned your stake in the company. The 20% you accepted as payment … you've transferred back to me and this is dated only a couple of months after you started working here, Calliope." Arizona paused. "It's an incredible gesture …"

"Please don't think that this is some charity gesture, me trying to save you or any of that white knight stuff. I never intended to keep the stake in RMB, I just wanted the chance to work with you, Arizona. That's all."

Callie leaned closer to her tablet and the energy that seemed to be missing surged back.

" Right from the very beginning, Arizona, I knew that you and your work was special, I wanted to be a part of what you created. You know I don't need payment."

"It's an incredibly generous gift, Callie. Thank you."

But Callie was shaking her head. "No thanks, necessary. That 20% is yours, Arizona. It always was."

They smiled at each other for a moment.

"Callie, is everything ok?"

"How are you getting on with the notebooks and journals?"

They spoke at once, and though tempted to let Callie go first, Arizona knew she would be easily distracted, if she allowed herself to be. She also wanted to avoid discussing the notebooks and the possible ramifications.

"Honey, you seem a little down. What's going on? Are you ok?"

She watched as Callie pushed her fingers through her hair and pull in a deep breath. Despite the distance, she could clear see the debate taking place inside Callie's head as she chewed her lower lip for a second.

"Calliope, sweetheart, just tell me what's wrong," she prompted, keeping her voice gentle.

"It's just work here. Again. Boardroom shenanigans," Callie explained, her eyes flitting about her office, settling anywhere but on Arizona's image.

"Okay … and?" Arizona could tell that there was more.

"And … I don't know how it's going to play out this time. Things might get a little tricky …" Callie's voice trailed off.

"Tricky how?" Arizona immediately asked, feeling her brow crinkle. This didn't feel like the last time Callie had a board meeting she was worried about.

Callie flashed Arizona a wide but somewhat forced smile, shifting a little in her seat.

"It's the new board member, possibly tying to throw his weight about. Mark and I will just have to work double-time to keep him in check and finesse the board, again. It's boring and time-consuming and unnecessary. But it is what it is." Her grin was a little more natural this time.

"I just need to suck it up, that's all."

Arizona cocked her head "Yeah? Anything else?"

"Babes, believe me, that's plenty." Callie shook her head a little, the near black strands of hair falling over her forehead.

"Is it that pretty one, Patterson? Is he causing trouble again?" Arizona couldn't forget the gall of the man, cornering her at a function she attended with Callie, when she'd visited last summer. She remembered him projecting strange a mix of vapid narcissism and naked greed as he tried to persuade her to sell RMB to CalTech.

Callie's eyes shot to her at the mention of Patterson and Arizona wondered if she'd hit a nerve.

"Claude is always a pain in the ass, Arizona." She pushed her hair out of her face. "Let's not talk about it anymore, I'm going to give myself ulcers, if I'm not careful."

"Did you ever get your blood pressure checked?" Arizona suddenly asked, remembering Callie's reticence in seeing a physician. Callie rolled her eyes, giving away her answer.

"Callie, you have someone come to you to take your blood pressure and give you the all-clear, you don't have to go to a doctor's office, if that's what you're worried about."

"Not worried, just busy," Callie muttered, dipping her chin.

"Do you know what your cholesterol is like? It's not just your blood pressure, sweetheart. You have a very high stress job, you need to take better care of yourself …" Arizona stopped, feeling like a nag but Callie was grinning at her, possibly the first genuinely amused smile since they started the call.

"You and Steph should form a club, you sound just like her."

Arizona held her hands out in an unspoken appeal. "Well, then."

"I promise I'll give it my attention as soon as I can."

Arizona looked at Callie and Callie grinned back at her.

"Liar." Arizona could occasionally read Callie like a book. This was one of those times.

Callie laughed out loud and then looked up and away from the camera as some out of view entered the room. Arizona watched her wave the person away.

"So, you doing ok?" Callie asked once they were alone again. "Any news, good, bad or indifferent?" she asked, her voice carefully neutral.

Arizona shrugged and held up one of the more expensive journals for Callie to see.

"I've got all my research in one place and me and the team are trawling throughout as fast as we can. We'll see."

"You scientists didn't believe in recording your work on a computer, no?" Callie grinned at her and Arizona inwardly sighed in relief at the lack of judgement. The act of trawling through years of notes was both tedious and frustrating. The task would have been unnecessary if she had typed up every thought and idea and calculation that she had during her career. It would never have been practical or even reasonable to have considered at the time, but it would have made life a whole easier right if she had.

"Steph loved those notebooks of yours, where did you get them, I might try and get one for her," Callie said and Arizona shook her head.

"Steph couldn't have seen me use these journals, I haven't used one of in years. I started typing my notes into a digital PDA before the iPhone came along."

"Huh. I'm sure she mentioned seeing a burgundy type notebook that she liked." Callie shrugged, "It must have been someone else." Callie raised her head, again looking at someone out of shot. "Listen, sweetie, I've got to go, I'll call you later. Love you."

"Love you, too Calliope." Arizona waved a goodbye and then stared at the screen thinking about Callie's diminutive executive assistant. She looked over at the stack of ornately hand tooled burgundy journals. They were distinctive and at least at the time they were purchased, fairly unique. Where could Steph have possibly seen one? Despite her initial plan of action of trawling through her work in chronological order, Arizona decided that accounting for all of her notebooks and journals right now, was vital. It was impossible to think that Peggy / Margaret, whatever she called herself would actually have any of her research. Arizona ground her teeth, closing her eyes for a moment. She knew full well that it wasn't impossible and she should have considered it a distinct possibility that Peggy had taken more than just the patents all those years ago. Unable to help herself, she laughed out loud. This could not be happening.

##

Callie leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. How could this be happening.

"Callie, you heard me, right? She says she's not speaking through an intermediary,"

"How many journals are missing and are you certain that Peggy took them?" Callie wasn't sure whether she wished she was with Arizona right now or not. She didn't want to fight but she could feel one coming along, regardless. She knew that Arizona was hyper-sensitive about her ex-partner and that she was under immense, almost unimaginable pressure. Unspoken, also was the fact that the deadline for postponing the IPO was drawing inexorably, closer.

"There are 12 notebooks missing, they represent a full calendar month of notes, research and ideas. And no, Callie, I told you already, I'm not certain that Margaret Christiansen took them." Arizona's response was clipped and she swung her hair over one shoulder as she looked at Callie through the laptop monitor.

Callie sucked in her lower lip and nodded slowly, waiting to see if Arizona would make the suggestion herself. Arizona was still in London, deciding that there was nothing to be gained hovering about at the manufacturing labs or clinical testing sites and that she would be of more use going through her notes with a fine-tooth comb. She picked up a note book and flipped to the next page, studiously reading her notes.

"Arizona," Callie spoke gently, "do you think there's a possibility that Peg … that Margaret might have the missing journals?"

"No," She replied immediately. Blowing out a short, harsh breath Arizona conceded. "I don't know. Anything's possible, I suppose."

Callie again remained silent. Waiting. Waiting.

She broke first.

"Arizona, if there's a possibility that Margaret Christiansen has your missing notebooks, don't you think we need to try and get them back?"

"She hasn't got anything of any use."

"Are you sure, Arizona?" Callie wasn't sure, but what did she know.

"I want you stop badgering me about this, Callie." Arizona put down her notes stared hard at Callie.

"I don't want any further involvement with that woman, I don't want to have to deal with her supercilious attitude and her sense of entitlement. I will not have her waltzing about the place like the Queen of frigging Sheba and claiming ownership …."

"It won't be like that, you won't need to deal with her. I'll take care …"

"No, Callie, you're not hearing me. I do not want that woman anywhere near this." Arizona was unequivocal and Callie sighed, trying to remain both supportive and sympathetic. She was sympathetic but they didn't have that many options.

"Arizona listen. Honey, I hear you. I totally hear you. Totally. But as your business partner and the woman who loves your more than most, we have to consider that Peg … that Margaret may have your journals and that those journals might actually have the information you need." Callie wished that she didn't have to state the obvious but Arizona's blinkers were firmly in place.

"Is it wise to leave any stone unturned …"

"I still have nearly a month before we have to call the whole thing off …"

"Postponing the IPO is not calling the whole thing off, Arizona …"

"Might as well be," she muttered.

"Okay, that's it." Callie threw up her hands and let her temper fly free. "Will you quit with this attitude? I get that this shit is hard and you're having to make difficult decisions and you're stressed and tired but, you can't have your cake and eat it and you might want to stop talking to me like I'm the enemy with the ultimatum."

For a split second, Callie could see the remorse in Arizona's face and then she sat back, slowly closing the notebook she been reading, her expression closing over.

Great. Just great.

Callie took a deep breath and then another.

"I will never ask you what happened between you and Margaret O'Neill … fuck … whatever her name is. Frankly, I don't care. Or I care inasmuch as how it affects you. How she makes you feel and how she makes you behave. Right now your actions are …. surprising." Callie pulled back at the last minute. The thought that Arizona might still be in love with Peggy and unable to come to terms with her betrayal was something she had discounted in the past. Maybe it wasn't as outlandish as she had previously thought.

"Either you want to do everything, and I do mean everything it takes to get this product on the market, 100% safe or you want to take your sweet time exploring the problem…"

"Don't you dare berate me, Callie. I do not need a lecture from you," Arizona snapped back. There was a bright red flush to her cheeks as her emotion rose.

"You have no idea what it means to be this close to either achieving everything or losing my life's work …"

"You know what, Arizona?" Callie said, hearing her voice rise and trying to reign it back before they both started shouting. "The fact is, you don't know what I know. You don't know if I've been in the exact same position as you, facing an impossible decision, feeling all the pressure and not knowing which way to turn." Callie got as close as she was ever going to get in telling Arizona what was happing with CalTech. But she drew back. It was unfair to place even more pressure on Arizona right now.

"You are not on the brink of losing your life's work, Arizona. The worst case scenario is that we delay the IPO." Callie raised her hand to forestall Arizona's objection. "I know you would rather not to this. So, an opportunity to possibly resolve this in one fell swoop is for me or a representative to approach Margaret and get the journals. And, yeah maybe I don't get it but those are the choices you have. They may be shit choices but that's life."

Arizona arranged herself carefully and visibly took a breath.

"I still have a little bit of time and I'd like to use it my way. Going through the data that I have. That's the decision, I'm taking."

"Baby … " Callie started but Arizona cut her off.

"No, Calliope. This is my decision and I don't want to fight any more than we have already."

Callie rubbed her temples and closed her eyes.

"I wish I was with you right now," she said softly, feeling her heart slowly sink.

"I wish you were here, too."

###

Callie stared hard at the other occupants of the room, making no attempt to mask her expression. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was paying close attention to her breathing.

In for 4, hold. Out for 4. Hold.

Rinse and repeat. Again and again.

There was no way she was going to lose her cool.

She couldn't allow her temper to get the best of her, but she was worried, almost expecting the army of ants to begin their march. It didn't matter if she ruptured an ulcer or literally blew a blood vessel. She was going to be the complete epitome of calm, even though she could feel her heart pounding hard enough to be heard across the Atlantic. The acid churned in her gut and she knew that if she looked at her hands, they'd probably be trembling. She was sitting bolt upright behind a desk in a smart, if somewhat impersonal, office suite in the Square Mile. Her hands were clasped so tightly together that she could feel her fingers begin to tingle as her circulation was impeded. She wasn't going to lose her cool but she wasn't going to act as if she was happy to be here either.

She had been summoned and she'd come, and as galling at it felt, Callie was not going to let her pride and certainly not her temper get in the way.

"I imagine that when you dismissed me so dramatically back in New York, you didn't expect to see me again, did you?" Margaret Christiansen took a delicate sip from her porcelain tea cup, peering over the rim with her cool green eyes. She probably had too much breeding to openly smirk at Callie but it was pretty cold comfort as the sheer glee danced in the other woman's eyes. She was practically giddy with excitement, in her own cold and remote way. Callie looked round the room, just for a moment and then leaned back in her chair returning her gaze to Margaret's. She had no choice but to be here but she was going to do her damnedest to avoid giving Margaret the satisfaction of making her speak. Bailey would be doing all of her talking for her today.

"Did you take rent these offices in the expectation that you'd be working with Dr Robbins?" Bailey asked out of the blue. Callie suddenly wondered how long Margaret had been planning this manoeuvre.

"Oh, no. These aren't my offices. They're actually for Tomas, he's moving some of his holdings here and wanted to have a base close to the City." She looked around the office made a small moue with her thin lips. "This really isn't to my taste but he seems pleased with it." She shrugged her narrow shoulders and took another sip of her coffee. Callie kept her expression as blank as possible and hoped that the grinding of her teeth wasn't audible.

At Callie's lack of response, and the slightly covert signal from her legal rep, Margaret tried a more conciliatory tone, the implied gloating more subdued.

"It's unfortunate that Arizona wasn't able to fly back to London to attend. I am extremely glad you came, anyway, Callie. It's a privilege to be able to do business with you again."

Bailey, never one for unnecessary decorum, snorted out loud and even Margaret's legal representative had the grace to studiously look away, a faint hue of a blush creeping up his collar.

"Let's not get carried away here, Dr O'Neill," Bailey responded, presumably deliberate in the use of her maiden name. "We are not conducting a business deal. This is a shakedown."

Callie shifted in her seat at Margaret's words, leaning back and crossing one knee over the other, decorously straightening the crease of her tailored trousers. Perhaps not unexpectedly, her nerves and anger fled though she was still filled with a cool steeliness, the fury that she had been scared would overwhelm her dissipated. Margaret's words revealed that, though she ostensibly held the upper hand, she was fully aware of Callie's influence.

"We need be totally clear. You are blackmailing Arizona Robbins, plain and simple," Bailey continued, not allowing Margaret Christiansen pretend that this was anything other than what it was.

"Now, how much do you want for the notebooks?" Bailey raised her eyebrows expectantly. Callie noted the look that passed between Margaret and her lawyer.

A crease formed between Margaret's brows at Bailey's words, but it was the only expression of possible discomfort that she'd shown in the entire time.

"I'd forgotten how blunt you New Yorkers can be, why not at least attempt a little … discretion, shall we say?"

"I call it how we see it, Dr O'Neill. How much for the books?"

"My name is Christiansen," the response was brittle.

"Perhaps if we get to the paperwork …" the anonymous lawyer interrupted hurriedly, possibly concerned that the lucrative deal he was about to broker was about to go up in flames. He pushed a sheaf of papers towards Callie along with a pen but Bailey snatched them up and immediately began scanning the details.

"Dr Christiansen has 12 notebooks in her possession that she is willing to make available to Dr Robbins for an agreed upon amount."

"Which is …?" Bailey asked.

After another shared look, he mentioned a figure that should have made Callie's eye's water but was actually less than she and Bailey had discussed. She made no comment, her eyes still fixed on Margaret's face.

Bailey reached into her briefcase and rifled through a folder of information. She, in turn, slid some papers across to Margaret's lawyer.

"This is a non-disclosure agreement. You will not discuss this matter with anyone, ever." She pointed to the second document. Margaret allowed a small smile to come to her face as she picked up the first document and began reading it. Bailey continued with her instructions.

"You will ensure that your name is removed from any and all patents, formulas etc that were developed during any time that you worked with Dr Robbins." She indicated a third document. "You will signed a disclaimer stating that you have no past, current of future interest in RMB Biomedical or any patents or products related to that company or indeed, Dr Robbins." The smile fell from Margaret's face.

"But wait a minute …" she spoke up, her face a little pale.

"I'm not certain we can …." Margaret's legal representative began speaking, his voice a little panicked. Bailey ignored the interruptions and carried on.

"You will also sign this document here stating that these books were … taken from Dr Robbins without her permission or consent and are being returned for a finder's fee. That amount will be 15% of the figure you just quoted." Bailey paused for half a second to make sure they understood.

"Failure to agree to all of these conditions will result in me taking this matter to the police for extortion and blackmail."

"No, no … this is a good faith arrangement …" the lawyer spluttered, this time his look towards Margaret was a little more panicked. It seemed neither of them had anticipated any pushback.

"Arizona needs these books." Margaret spoke over her lawyer, blurting the words out, her body jerking forward, seemingly involuntarily. "And she needs them now." She took a breath, visibly calming herself down and leaned back in her chair, carefully clasping her hands together in a pantomime of calm and sanguine control.

"I have my sources and I know that there is some delay in the IPO. I've also seen some of the results of the clinical trials, there is a major problem with the receptors and that's why she needs these books now. It really is in your best interests not to dally."

Callie looked at Margaret, took in her remote beauty, her sense of superiority that she wore like a mantle and the avarice that was barely just visible, shrouded by her refinement and education and Callie felt her resolve harden. She wasn't going to back down. She stared at Margaret's pale and unblemished throat and watched the pulse beat wildly, uncontrollably under her skin. She would not back down. Not here and not to this woman, not ever.

Callie her allowed the smallest of glances in Bailey's direction indicating that she continue. The problem with the product was with its efficacy, it had nothing to do with receptors, whatever they were and Callie was convinced that Margaret was bluffing.

"Failure to complete this transaction within 8 hours will result in me going to the police, the press and anyone else within the academic world, both here, the States and Sweden. Your husband, Tomas Christensen is exploring the idea of running for the Folketinget, and, if I understand correctly has a pretty good platform, centrist right?" Bailey allowed her statement to hang in the air. There was no need for her to explain the implications to Margaret.

She looked down at her watch. "The finder's fee on offer will drop to 5% if a response isn't forthcoming within the next hour."

"I … I have a proprietary right … a legal right to … to some of that research, it's not all of her work…" Margaret stuttered for a moment her voice raised to almost a screech, her eye's darting wildly from Callie's face to Bailey's.

"Is that right?" Bailey flipped through a couple of pages, her voice indicating that she was barely interested in any response.

There was near silence for a few minutes, Margaret's ragged breathing slowly brought under control. Callie could almost hear her wilting in defeat.

"Why all these negotiations, if you're threatening me, my husband's career, why bother offering to pay me off?" Margaret's face was now ashen and Callie knew that the threat of publicity in Sweden wasn't something she had considered.

"Because, you're right, we do want those journals now. We don't want the delay of going through a criminal trial followed by a civil one but we are fully prepared and committed to do so, if necessary."

"The negative publicity of a court case would be damaging to both you and Arizona," Margaret said, desperately seeking solid ground, even as she floundered.

"Perhaps, but we are willing to go to town on this one." Bailey replied. "We call it mutually assured destruction."

Callie pushed back from the table and rose, her eyes never leaving Margaret's face. She was done here. She waited a moment for Bailey to gather her papers together and then straightened her jacket. The cuff links she wore were a present from Arizona. The blonde had been bashful when she'd presented the polished, handmade onyx cuff links to Callie, not fully understanding how cherished any gift from her was to Callie. Right now she knew her partner would have never sanctioned this meeting but what was done was done.

"You know how to reach us, the clock is ticking," Bailey said as she also prepared to leave. She placed a thick folder on the desk in front of Margaret. "This is a copy of all of your previous dealings with Dr Robbins, including your theft of her IP a fews years back. It will be sent to absolutely anyone who will listen and publish. And of course, the authorities."

Callie took a final long look into Margaret Christiansen's face and turned to leave, Bailey at her side.

"Wait. Wait." Margaret called out before Callie had taken more than 2 steps.

Bailey responded immediately, "There is no room for negotiation or discussion, either you accept the offer as laid out or you'll see us in court."

Margaret slowly stood up and approached Callie.

"It seems you win." Her smile was stretched across her teeth in a parody of her smile. She didn't look as defeated or cowed as Callie would have liked but the anger at losing was clear for to see. Inexplicably, she held out her hand for Callie to shake.

"No hard feelings?" Margaret's expression had fixed itself to become a little more gracious and Callie resisted the urge to laugh in her face. Her eyes dropped to the outstretched hand and she looked into Margaret Christiansen's eyes and allowed the ghost of a sneer to cross her face. Without a word, she turned and walked out of the room.

Callie might have won, but she knew she was yet to count the real cost.

###

Arizona stared at the whiteboard intently. She was making progress, she could almost see the finishing line. Once she'd realised which journals were missing she was able to narrow down the timeline and focus all of her attention on just one small portion of her research.

The whiteboard looked weirdly impressive. A whole slew of formulae and calculations covered almost every inch of the available space, she'd used different coloured markers to identify the discrete lines of thought and the whole multi-coloured, smudged effect looked like the product of a slightly off-kilter mind. Or modern art. Despite everything, the thought made her smile and think of Callie. Instinctively, she turned and picked up her phone to snap a picture of the scene. Perhaps Callie could have it blown up, framed and hung in one of her offices. As she looked at the pictures, she sighed, thinking about her last discussion with Callie. She had turned her phone to aeroplane-mode for the last 6 hours. It was mainly so she could work uninterrupted but Arizona couldn't help the pang of regret, knowing that she also did it to avoid another confrontation with Callie. Logically, intellectually, she understood Callie's argument, but something deep within her yearned for another way. All she needed was a little time, perhaps they had been too hasty to set the deadline at 4 weeks prior to the IPO, maybe shortening it to two weeks was enough. Callie could and had done wonders in the world, surely this was something she should be able to influence.

Arizona knew when she was rambling to herself, she knew what Martha would have said to her, had she been listening on her thoughts. None of this was exactly rational but this was also close to everything that she had ever worked for, she wasn't letting go without a fight.

She looked at her phone and again, despite the unfair resentment she knew she harboured against Callie for being the bad guy, she also missed her. She missed her laughter, her sense of humour, her warmth, her physical presence. She missed every damned thing about her partner, right down to her annoying habit of being right. Re-activating her phone, a dozen messages and missed call notifications popped up and she sighed. This was why her phone was off in the first place. Noting that almost all the messages were from Callie, she slowly took a seat, mentally bracing herself but before she could open the messages, there was a knock at the door.

"Arizona, were you expecting a package? This was just delivered by courier." Robbie shouldered his way into her office carrying a box.

Still looking down at her phone, Arizona said, "Give it to Martha to deal with, please."

"She's having an argument with Itamar and I'm too scared to go anywhere near either of them. Seriously, where do you want it?"

Four of the messages from Callie were asking for Arizona to call her, urgently. Then there was message stating that there had been some developments. Arizona looked up at Robbie, distracted. Developments? With what?

Rolling her eyes at the young man, she carefully cleared a space on her desk, making sure that the papers and notes were still in order and gestured for Robbie to put the box down.

Callie's final message was that she was in town and was heading her way now. It wasn't a long stretch to assume that the arrival of the unexpected package and Callie's increasingly abrupt messages were connected. Arizona wasn't even expecting Callie in town.

Ignoring the hovering Robbie, who was now loitering and staring at her whiteboard, Arizona called Callie, who picked up immediately.

"Callie, what's happening? Why are you in town? Is everything ok?" The words tumbled out of her mouth, she knew she sounded a little bit panicked. There was silence for a moment and she imagined that she could hear Callie take a breath.

"Everything's …. fine. Are you at the office?"

She almost snorted, "Where else would I be?"

"OK. OK. Listen, honey, I'm on my way to you now. I'll be there in about 20 minutes, ok?"

"Callie, why are you even in London?" There was a long pause and Arizona stared down at the box in the middle of her desk. Before Callie could respond, Arizona spoke again.

"Ive just had an unexpected parcel delivered, sent by courier. Is this something to do with you?"

"You haven't opened it yet?" Callie asked. Arizona thought that her voice sounded subdued and she began to feel a strange vibe. She stared at the box some more and slowly began to understand.

"Robbie, help me get this box open, please," she gestured to the still-hovering youth.

"Calliope, what did you do?"

"Arizona, please, please don't be mad. I wanted to be there before the delivery was made."

Robbie rummaged around and found a pair of scissors and began cutting through the heavy-duty duct tape sealing the box.

"Callie, what is this?" Arizona's voice rose and Robbie stopped for a minute.

"Do you want me to leave, so that you can … ummm, have some privacy?" He started to edge towards the door.

"Just help me open the box, Robbie." Arizona knew she should have just let him leave rather than let him hear her tear into Callie. She could feel a slow, inexorable spread of heat rise up in her body, her mouth grew dry and her heart beat so fast and so hard that Arizona pressed a hand to her chest to try and rub away the pain.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Arizona asked the question even though she was now sure that she knew what she was going to see as Robbie slowly removed the wrapping tape and lifted the lid of the innocuous, brown box. He reached in and took out a burgundy journal. One that matched the dozen or so scattered across her desk. Arizona watched Robbie and it seemed his hands moved in slow motion as he placed the notebook in front of her. Her vision flickered around the edges and it seemed the colour was leached from the room, leaving it a flat, grey monotone with the only colour coming from the notebook, which for a second almost looked like a pulsating blood red.

"Arizona ….?" Callie was speaking and Arizona ended the call without replying.

"Doctor Robbins, are … are you ok?" Robbie had strangely reverted to formality as he looked at her, a hand outstretched towards her. "Can I get you a glass of water … or shall I get Martha?"

She scratched her forehead for a moment, utterly unable to think, her eyes glued to the box. Her phone buzzed, Callie's beautiful, smiling image flashing on the screen.

"Dr Robbins?" Robbie hustled round the desk and gently took Arizona's elbow and helped her sit down.

"Do you want me to get that?" He gestured to the still ringing phone.

"Dr Robbins?" He gingerly placed a hand on her shoulder, bending his massive frame down to peer into her face.

The physical contact and the gentleness that Robbie was uncharacteristically displaying shook Arizona out of her momentary fugue. She shook her head to shake off the dissociative fog and reached over to reject the call.

"Thank you, Robbie I'm fine." She looked into his face and decided not to try and lie to him. "I'm ok. I just had a bit of a …. shock, that's all. I'm fine."

He straightened and chewed his lip. "You didn't have lunch today, your blood sugar's probably low. I'll get you an orange juice and protein bar from the kitchen. Callie reminded me to have some in reserve." He lumbered off and at the door turned to look her over again, as if to reassure himself that she wasn't about to disintegrate into ash or erupt into flames. He left the room quietly and Arizona sat in total silence. She couldn't remember ever feeling this way. It was an almost out of body experience. She went from feeling like she was burning up and feverish to an icy cold emptiness. For a second her mind flashed back to when Peggy ended their relationship, their working partnership and their joint work and the betrayal didn't feel like this. When her first business manager, Mr Fancy Pants, whose name escaped her took her research to Ben Grant, she hadn't felt this. This felt closer to what she'd experienced when she had first realised that Timmy was probably never coming home again.

This felt like a death.

Startled, she looked up from staring into space as Robbie returned with a glass of orange juice and couple of protein bars. The kind she liked that Callie bought in bulk from some artisan store somewhere. He placed the items carefully in front of her and leaned on the desk for a few minutes watching her.

"Thank you, Robbie." She roused herself and reached out a hand to pick up the glass. Her hand trembled so much that he hurriedly handed the glass to her, no doubt concerned that she lacked the strength to hold up a leaf let alone anything else.

"Dr Robbins, ummm, sometimes when I've not eaten enough, you know, when my blood sugar's really low, I act out a bit. You know, I get angry and upset at little things. You know, hangry." he looked down at his feet, blushing and Arizona grasped his meaning. She took a sip of the juice and nodded.

"Thanks, Rob. I'm ok now. You don't need to babysit me. I just had …." she trailed off, not having the first clue how to finish the sentence.

He nodded slowly and though clearly loathe to leave her alone, closed the door quietly.

Arizona wasn't certain how long she'd been sitting at her desk, staring the box of journals when Martha came rushing in.

"Arizona? What's wrong? Robbie said he thought you were having a stroke."

Startled out of her introspection, Arizona rolled her eyes a little at the Martha.

"I told him I was fine," she dismissed the concern she could see in Martha's face.

The older woman came round the desk to peer closely into Arizona's face.

"You don't look fine, tell me what's happened? Robbie said that he brought a box of journals in and that Callie called and then he said he thought you were going to pass out."

Arizona gestured to the stack of newly acquired journals and gave Martha a vague smile.

"Seems Callie has been busy."

Martha peered more closely at the stack and then turned to examine Arizona's face.

"Judging by your expression, I'm going to guess that they didn't just appear out of thin air," Martha said dryly. She straightened her glasses, " Knowing her ladyship as we do, I suppose Callie had to negotiate with her to get them back. I wonder how much she had to pay for them."

Arizona clenched her teeth and held in the fury and it slowly began to bubble up again. She didn't know if she had the language to expression she felt right now.

XXX

The silence in the car was oppressive, almost overpowering, but Callie knew better than to try and break it, she knew better than to try and speak with Arizona, to reason with her. Despite her convictions, Callie knew that she had to let Arizona come to the same conclusion by herself and at this point there was nothing she could say to appease Arizona.

She stared at the blonde's profile, unable to catch her eye. Arizona was pale, horribly so, her face drawn and hollowed out. Even though the fall of her hair hid most of her face, Callie could see the devastation written all over it and she felt her stomach churn at the knowledge that she had put that expression there.

The car pulled up outside Flask Drive and they got out silently, Callie could see that Arizona hands were trembling as she attempted to unlock the door and she held out her hand for the keys

"Let me," she said the words softly, almost as if she was scared to frighten Arizona. But it seemed the words were a catalyst and as they entered the brightly lit hallway, Arizona turned to face the head on.

"How could you do this to me?"

Callie blinked at her.

"Do this to you?" She repeated. "Honey, I know you're mad at me and I understand why but…. let's consider the bigger picture here …"

"Fuck the bigger picture," Arizona snapped out, her face flushed and eyes flinty and cold. "I cannot believe you … I cannot believe you did this to me ….after all you said, after everything you promised …"

"Arizona, stop.. Seriously, stop. Please." Callie knew she had to hold on to her temper, nothing would be gained if they both started screaming at each other.

"I know you're mad but I did what needed to be done. I did what you couldn't or wouldn't do." They were still standing in the hall, the bright sunshine streaming through the kitchen doors. The brightness was distinct at odds with the mood inside their home. They were standing, facing each other like adversaries and Callie didn't want that. She didn't want Arizona to see her as the enemy so she kicked off her heels and skirting around a rigid and glaring Arizona, sank down on the bottom stair and looked up at her.

"Sweetie, you needed that information, we needed that information and I understand that you didn't want to ask Peggy for it …." Callie kept her tone calm and gentle, she swallowed down her frustration at Arizona's stubbornness, because, ultimately, it didn't matter.

"I told you, I made it so clear to you that I never wanted anything to do with that woman again, how could you go behind my back and … and negotiate with her? How could you do that to me?"

"We're going around in circles and, darling, I have to be honest with you, you're not making a whole lot of sense." Callie picked her words as carefully as she knew how but seeing the fury flare up in Arizona's eyes, felt a moment of dread at how angered Arizona actually was. Far more worked up than she'd considered.

"I'm not making sense?" Arizona barked out a harsh laugh. She smacked her chest with the flat of both hands, the sound of her palm against her chest loud and painful. "I'm not making sense? Explain to me how hard it was for you to understand that I said I didn't want you anywhere near that viper? Was I not making sense when I said not to go anywhere near her?"

Callie closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying, holding, holding on tight to her temper.

"Arizona, I know you didn't want me to approach Peggy but she was the only one who had the information that you needed." Callie licked her lips and swallowed, she needed this to come out right, despite herself, she needed Arizona to understand. "Peggy was the only one who could break the deadlock. What did you expect me to do, just sit on my hards and watch you suffer? Were you expecting me to watch you fail? After all that you've done? After all that you've been through, to let you just … what were you expecting me to do?"

"I expected you to have faith in me to come up with a solution, a different one …. I would have found one…"

Callie stiffened at the accusation and ground her teeth. She breathed in through her nose and out, slowly, through her mouth.

"You had a solution, you already had the solution and we'd run out of time, Arizona you know that, you know that we'd run out of time …" she paused as Arizona swung away, waving her hand in the air, dismissing Callie.

"Honey, please don't push me." She didn't mean it to sound like a warning but the words merely poured petrol on the flames and she could only watch the explosion.

"Don't push you?" Arizona's face was sheet white with two ruddy splotches of red on each cheek. Her eyes were glittering, icy, icy cold and her voice was low and gravelly, she sounded like Callie had never heard her before.

"I told you not to go to her. Whatever it is that you think you were doing, it wasn't your call to make. I told you to stay away. And you said that you would." Arizona's hands were clenched tightly by her sides and she took a step back and then another, staring down at Callie like she had found something repellent on the sole of her shoe. Callie stood up slowly, her stomach tied in knots, Arizona was working herself, had worked herself into the mother of all furies and she didn't know how to talk her down.

"Explain to me how hard it is for you to be honest? I mean really, about anything? Callie, all you do is lie to me. That's all you've ever done."

The silence was awful and without realising it, Callie sank back down on to the lowest step of the staircase. As if a marionette, her hand came up to cover her mouth, and it shook, perhaps as much as Arizona shook earlier. There was a ringing in her head and for a second, Callie thought that she would vomit at her feet.

"Arizona, please don't say something that you can't take back, please. We've both worked too hard …."

"You've worked hard to control me, to own me …."

"Arizona, stop it. Stop it now." Galvanised by real dread, Callie sprang to her feet again and grabbed hold of Arizona's hands. "You don't believe that, Arizona. You're angry with me but you know I love you."

Arizona pulled her hands from Callie's grasp and turned away.

"Right now, I really don't care. Just get out."

"What?"

Arizona turned to look at her and for a second Callie could see it, loathing, disgust, hatred. It was there, just for a second and then it was gone. Replaced with a chilling coldness.

"Callie I need you out of here, I cannot bear to look at you, I cannot bear to breathe the same air as you right now. Just, please… just go."

Stunned, Callie buried her face in her hands for a second. She couldn't help the rush of tears. But she looked up at the woman she loved beyond all reason and tried to make sense of the devastation that had just been wreaked.

"Arizona …" her brain was blank. There was not a single word in her head. Just a loud rushing noise that threatened to overwhelm her completely.

"Arizona…. the formula worked. Your formula worked, it was your work, it was your knowledge, you had a right to it …. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going back to Peggy, but honey, please don't throw us away because you can't get over her …"

The words fell out of her mouth unbidden and Callie closed her eyes in despair. She hadn't meant to say that, not out loud. She'd suspected it once, a long time ago but she didn't care, it didn't matter. Peggy O'Neil didn't matter. Hadn't mattered, until now.

Arizona swung towards her, wildly infuriated, her face now red.

"What? Don't try to deflect, Callie …"

"I'm not and I'm not trying to hurt you but you needed closure with this woman. She'd had this … this spell over you for years, maybe it's your pride or your ego or something but this reaction right here, it's fucking dammed extreme." Callie pulled in a deep breath and tried to quell the roiling in her stomach and the crushing weight within her chest. She couldn't remember ever fighting so hard for something, ever. But it felt like she was fighting for her life and it was breaking her heart that Arizona was so blinded by rage right now that she couldn't see what she was doing.

"Are you really going to stand there and try and psychoanalyse me, Callie?" Arizona started to laugh again and they could both hear the faint note of hysteria, perhaps it sobered her a little because she stopped laughing and rubbed her hand over her face.

"You have a god complex Callie, I needed you to be there for me, to be on my side …"

"That's all I've ever done, Arizona, you must see that."

"No, Callie, all you ever tried to do was save me." The fury and all the rest faded from her face and Arizona finally calmed down. She shrugged and leant, as if exhausted against the wall, the same wall that she had ravaged Callie against just a few short months ago.

She shrugged, "I don't know, maybe that's what you needed in life, to be the hero who swoops in a saves the day, but that's not what I needed from you." She sighed out loud. "And you know what? Right now, it doesn't even matter." She stepped around Callie and began to climb the staircase.

"Please just leave."

###

Arizona came downstairs, now changed into comfortable clothes with her mind carefully blank. She had a pounding headache and needed coffee. She had needed to scrub the day off her; the anger and the hurt, Callie even, she needed to do something to distance herself from what had happened that day and though she knew it was merely symbolic, Arizona took a long hot shower and washed her hair. Her skin was pink and a little raw and her scalp still tingled. She kept her mind deliberately devoid of everything other than work, she ruthlessly shut down anything else. She didn't need the distraction.

Arizona wanted to run as far away as possible. She wanted to return to Geneva quickly and try and salvage whatever pride she had left. If she could get back to her labs and continue working, things would be better, she told herself as she walked into the kitchen. She would discuss a new launch date with … with … whatever the new man's name was. She would settle down and sort things out properly.

Arizona spooned coffee into the machine, her head bowed and her heart heavy. She knew that she wasn't making sense. She didn't have time for anymore research, she had only one shot left and 2 options, she could release the drug for production exactly as it was, knowing that there was a fault or she could incorporate the revised formulae from the notes that Callie had retrieved and hoped that they would fix the fault. The fact was, she didn't need to do any more research. There was no need. There was also no more time. Not if she wanted to salvage her reputation and the promise of the drug.

There was really no choice and Arizona knew it. She hadn't looked at the revised formulae in the recovered notes yet but she knew it wasn't necessary; the minute she'd realised the disappearance of some of the journals, she'd known exactly what steps to take, what to tweak and how to correct the problems. She had known exactly what to do, it would have just taken time to re-trace her steps.

Time that she didn't have.

The words whispered in her head but she ignored them. Arizona knew she would have got there, eventually. She would have found and corrected the mistake, on her own and without any outside help. She knew this, Arizona affirmed to herself. It was, after all, work that she had already conducted, experiments and theorems that she had already proven with peers and the scientific community. She would have got there.

Eventually.

Arizona poured her coffee and overdid it with the sugar and cream but didn't care. It wasn't like Callie was going to give her a hard time about her cholesterol.

Callie.

She had been trying not to think about Callie and all the rage and hurt exploded within her again. Arizona slammed her mug down on the kitchen table and cried out as the coffee scalded her hand.

"Fuck it. Fuck it all." She swore quietly as she ran her hand under the cold tap and as the pain of the burn seeped through, it released a valve with her and silently the tears streamed down her face.

All was lost.

xxx

Arizona stared at the woman standing on the threshold of her home blankly.

There was something incongruous about her being here, right now at 10pm on a cold and windy Wednesday night in November. She was holding what looked like a nice whiskey in hand and an overnight bag in the other. Without a word Arizona shrugged and walked back into the house leaving Martha to follow, closing the door softly behind her.

Arizona dragged her feet back to the lounge and slumped back into the corner of the sofa where she'd been for the last 4 or 5 hours. She pulled her legs up under her and tucked herself into a fleece throw, squirrelling herself away, trying to make herself as small as possible. After a minute or two, Martha followed her into the lounge with 2 whisky tumblers from the kitchen and a tray of snacks to nibble on.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Arizona's voice was rough and gravelly.

Martha poured 2 very generous measures of whiskey, shoved one into Arizona's hand and sank into a chair. She took a long, appreciative sip and gave Arizona a nod.

"Drink up, girl. I can see you need it." Martha took another smaller sip and eyed Arizona carefully. "Callie called. Told me what happened and asked me to come over. Drink."

Arizona obediently poured half the glass down her throat without flinching and nodded her head sagely. " That's some good stuff right there, had you been saving it?"

"Nevermind that, now. Tell me what happened with Callie."

Arizona snorted and took another large gulp. Getting drunk as quickly as possible was the best idea anyone had ever come up with today. She can't figure why she hadn't thought of it herself. Instead she's been stuck in the same spot all night, her thoughts alternating between pure fury and utter devastation. Neither was particularly pleasant so whiskey induced oblivion seemed the best way forward.

"Arizona?" Martha prompted.

"I thought you said Callie had told you what happened."

"She said that she got the missing journals from her ladyship and that you needed someone to be with you right now." Martha's slate grey eye's narrowed a little. "I'm guessing the pair of you fell out over it."

Arizona snorted again, there was no humour in the sound.

"That's one way to describe it," she said sipping slowly. She looked at the plate of food but wasn't tempted. She remembered Robbie bringing her a protein bar back in the office but she couldn't recall if she actually ate it.

"Okay?" Martha leaned back and made herself comfortable, as if she had all night.

"Why are you here, again?" Arizona scrunched up her forehead looking at Martha. "I mean, you're planning to stay the night? What about Alastair?"

"He can cope on his own for a night or two, Callie was worried about you. Where is she?"

Arizona shrugged and sipped her drink.

"Damned if I know." She sipped again, longer, deeper, willing the oblivion to come quickly. "Damned if I care."

"Do you want to talk about it, I mean now, before you get totally off your face?"

Arizona waved her empty glass at Martha and gestured to her.

"I'm all wrapped up here and comfy. I can't move, please more me another. Please," she wheedled.

"Callie said that she had hurt you and that she didn't want you to be on your own," Martha reported as she topped up Arizona's glass.

"She didn't hurt me, Martha." The words burst out of Arizona in a heated rush. "Hurting me is forgetting my birthday or making an insensitive remark or being a jerk. What Callie did is eviscerate me, she betrayed me in the worst possible way, she …."

"She gave you something you needed," Martha said, quietly interrupting Arizona's flow.

Arizona pulled in a breath, her tirade paused. She blinked at Martha for a second.

"I didn't want it."

"Arizona …"

"Don't you dare take her side, Martha, I couldn't bear it if I lost you as well."

"Ah, for god's sake, woman, stop being so bloody melodramatic. You'll never get rid of me."

The room was silent for a moment, only the faintest of sounds of distant traffic distracted Arizona from her thoughts. The whisky was a good one and she downed another mouthful, Arizona reflected that she should feel guilty about breaking into Martha and Alastair's stash of good liquor. If she could let herself feel anything right now, guilt would be one of those emotions.

"So, what do you plan to do next?" Martha finally broke the silence and shook Arizona out of her introspection. She shrugged, not really giving the question any thought. Any thought right now, was just too hard and too painful to contemplate and she settled for getting drunk.

Despite her best efforts, a thought pushed its way into her consciousness. She felt that not very familiar sensation of the alcohol taking hold, of beginning to float a little, cloud and fog and other amorphous emotions dulling the edges of her mind.

"Wait, you didn't say that you took my side, Martha."

With very deliberate precision, she placed her tumbler on the side table and scrunched up a little to stare fully at the older woman.

"Do you take Callie's side in all this? Really, Martha? After all the things we've been through?" Arizona's body slumped in her little cocoon, her chin resting on her chest and the corners of her mouth pulled tight. It didn't matter, she knew Martha could see her lips tremble.

"Martha, really?" Arizona could hear the pleading in her voice.

"Oh, my love. Don't be daft." Martha chided, her words soft. "What did I just say? I will always be on your side, Arizona. Always." Martha also placed her drink down and moved over to sit beside Arizona on the couch. She fished one of Arizona's hands out from under the covers and rubbed it between her much warmer hands.

"I will always be on your side, Arizona," she repeated and paused.

"But?" Arizona had known Martha long enough to know that there was more to come.

"But it doesn't necessarily mean that I think you are right," she concluded and held fast as Arizona tried to snatch her hand away. "Hush, child, don't you be battling me as well. There's no need." Martha held her hand tight and giving up, Arizona flopped back and closed her eyes.

"I'm not here to tell you what to do or to say that you were right and Callie was wrong. I'm here because I'm your friend and because I love you." Martha rubbed Arizona's hands between her own, a little of their warmth seeping into Arizona's fingers. She clamped her jaw tightly and swallowed, keeping her eyes tightly screwed shut.

"I'm here because Callie can't be here right now. I'm here now to comfort you because, right now, you're not able to accept comfort from the person who loves you most in the world."

As tight as she held her jaw closed, Arizona couldn't stop the tears that seeped from under her closed eyelids. She shook her head slightly, unable to speak, knowing that if she tried, the flood of tears would become an unending flow of pain and bitterness and hurt. A gasp escaped her as she felt Martha warm hand stroke her face. They sat there, again in near silence, this time the air was filled with the sound of Arizona's muffled sobs.

##

Callie knew that the most sensible thing she could do right now was make sure that journal were reviewed by Arizona and her team.

She knew that smart thing would be to give Arizona enough time and space to come to terms with what Callie had done and, eventually, forgive her for it. Callie covered her mouth with her hand for a second, as she felt the bile rise up in her throat. No matter how hard it got, she would not, ever, countenance the possibility of Arizona not forgiving her.

Callie knew that there was nothing to be gained right now and that sitting and staring at the front door of the place that she had called home for a year was pointless. She had dropped Martha off at Arizona's front door more than 2 hours ago and the downstairs hall light had gone off sometime ago. Arizona was, presumably, comfortably numb and sleeping in their bed.

The bed that they had shared. The bed that they had made love in, had had breakfast and read the papers, the bed that bore the wildly extravagant sheets that Arizona adored and yet always filled with crumbs and discarded socks.

Callie leaned her head on her steering wheel and took deep, shuddering breaths, trying to stem the tears that streamed down her face. If she let go now, she knew she would never stop.

She wanted to believe.

Callie wanted to believe that their love was enough to overcome this obstacle, this massive, almost insurmountable obstacle that she had created. But as deep as her love for Arizona was, Callie had always known Arizona had always held a little something back.

It wasn't that she was mean and stingy with her love but Callie knew that Arizona loved her less. Sometimes she told herself it was they loved differently and sometimes she knew that she loved Arizona more.

And it didn't matter.

It was enough that Arizona loved her at all.

But as she sat in her car at something past the midnight hour, Callie sucked in her breath and prayed that Arizona's love would be enough to overcome the mountain that she had created.

###

" Arizona, I know you're hurting. And I know I'm responsible. I'm sorry for hurting you. Arizona, I am so sorry for hurting you. Please, please forgive me. Please let me see you. I love you so much, Arizona, please believe that."

Callie's voice broke in the message and each time Arizona listened to it, it made her want to scream. It cracked another fissure in her heart. Emotions, too numerous to count or even identify rose up within her each time she saw that Callie had called or sent a text or a message. And finally, after 3 days, when she couldn't deal with the onslaught of emotion each time Callie's image flashed up on her phone, Arizona relented and sent a short reply. There was no way in heaven or hell that she had the capacity to actually speak to Callie. To speak with Callie at this time, when every emotion felt heightened and magnified a thousand fold, Arizona knew herself well enough to understand that if she spoke with Callie feeling the way she did, there was the very real chance that she would say something that she wouldn't be able to walk away from. Despite everything, despite everything that she felt right now, Arizona shied away from that. She shied away from an irrevocable split from Callie. But she also couldn't bear to be with her right now either. Arizona settled on the briefest of text messages. It might have been a cowardly move but it was all that she had within her to offer.

Callie, I'll read the journals and update Itamar on what I find. I still have nearly 2 weeks, so I'm just going to work at it. Itamar can make the necessary arrangements to pause the IPO if I can't sort the issue out.

I can't talk with you right now. I just cannot see you right now. Go back to New York. I'll call you. I promise I will call you, when I think I'm able.

Getting back to work, solving the riddle of the compound, that was the very best she could do.

###

Burying herself in work had always been her failsafe, go-to method of coping. She had always been able to immerse herself in meetings and mergers and profit margins and research and development and whatnot and taken pride in her productivity. Even the years when she'd been on the road for 11 months out of 12, Callie had always delivered. She always got the job done. Now, back in New York, despite a hundred different projects the company had, despite all the things that she could be doing, she felt untethered. She'd been back Stateside for nearly a week, the devastation of Arizona's message numbing her and seemingly stopping any rational thought process. Callie couldn't work, she couldn't focus, she could barely breathe and it was all her own fault.

She was sat in her office, idly scrolling through her emails, one eye fixed on her phone, hoping for the smallest crumb of information from Arizona. She'd heard nothing from Itamar, regarding Arizona's progress, unsurprising really as she, technically, no longer had any stake in the business. Martha, however had been a little more forthcoming, offering sympathetic but sparse commentary on Arizona's well-being. As much as she burned desperately to go to Arizona, to beg her forgiveness, she knew she just had to wait it out.

Mark wandered in to her office, a sheaf of papers in his hands and stopped short for a second. She couldn't even pretend to feel guilty.

"You're supposed to be in China." He gave her a once over, his eyes pausing on her face for a second. Despite herself, Callie felt a small smile come to her face as she saw the debate wrestle within him. He was trying to decide whether to give her hell to cheer her up or to be sad and sympathetic with her.

"Conference was only 2 days," she replied.

"Yeah, but I thought you were going to take a day or two to …. have some R and R or something."

Callie shrugged. She hadn't felt like rest or relaxation, she'd barely took in anything from the conference and she just hoped her presentation had been ok. She didn't have the bandwidth to care too much about it right now.

"Why don't you take a few days and go visit with Aria or go to that little winery in Napa?" His voice was soft and Callie sighed. She must really look like hell, if Mark was refraining from kicking her ass with tough-love.

"I can't do jack until I know whether or not this was all in vain. Arizona still has just under 2 weeks to crack this thing before we … she has to postpone the launch." Callie slumped back in her chair and looked up at Mark. She'd brought him up to speed after returning to New York when it became apparent to that Arizona really wasn't going to relent immediately.

"You realise that would be the biggest irony, right? I do this thing, jeopardise my relationship with Arizona and it turns out there was nothing in the journals anyway, just like she said." Callie rubbed the tips of her fingers over her dry and gritty eyes, trying to relieve the pressure. "Mark, she may never forgive me if that happens." She snorted quietly.

"She might never forgive me anyway." It was another constant thought.

"Cal, don't torture yourself like this. You absolutely did the right thing here. Even if it doesn't yield the result you want. You did the right thing."

Callie looked up at him. "Do you really think so?"

"Of course, I do," His defence was immediate and robust but it gave Callie little comfort. Mark was always her champion. He shuffled for a second before perching on the edge of her desk. "Look, Callie, you did what she couldn't do. You stepped up to the plate and took a massive swing because that's what the occasion called for. You did what Arizona couldn't or wouldn't do and it was the right call."

She nodded slowly, even though she wasn't sure she believed him.

"I like Arizona," He said and paused and Callie looked up at him. "I like her a lot but, she's kind of …." Mark paused and stared out of the window.

"She's what, Mark?" Callie felt her hackles rise and whatever criticism she could hear coming.

He shrugged, "I don't know, flighty? Overly emotional? I mean, why is she so upset by this? It just seems like an over-reaction?"

Callie chewed other lip and isn't respond. She did think it was an over-reaction but she didn't know what was inside Arizona's head. She didn't really know what Peggy O'Neill had done to her.

She looked up at Mark. "I lied to her, Mark. I lied to her, again." Callie slowly nodded, as if confirming her hypothesis. "It doesn't matter if it's an over-reaction or out of proportion or whatever. The truth is that she asked me not to do something and I did it anyway. My reasons don't really matter, when you come down to it. I lied to her and I think that what she can't …." Callie trailed off, unable to finish. Unwilling to put into words the fact that Arizona might not forgive her.

Mark considered her for a second and stood, pushing his hands into the pockets of his tailored trousers.

"You did it for the greater good, Callie. That has to count for something."

"Hmm." Callie wasn't so sure but Steph came in, effectively ending the conversation.

"Did you schedule a meeting today, Callie?"

"Steph, you're meant to be on maternity leave, bonding with little Sasha. Why are you here?"

"Cameron, has him today and I … wanted to be here … to oversee things." Steph started and trailed off, apparently realising how it sounded. "Look, never mind about that now. Do you have any meetings with Patterson?"

"Claude? No. I haven't seen him for a few weeks." Callie remembered that the last time she had spoken to Claude, he'd been asking for a board meeting.

"Why?" She closed her eyes for a moment. The very last thing she needed right now was another fight with the board over Arizona's company. Claude Patterson didn't seem to understand that he couldn't just force Arizona to sell.

"Claude Patterson is here with Nathanial Browne," she paused for a second, making sure she had their attention. "And Emanuel Portalegre."

Callie's head snapped up at Steph's announcement and Mark straightened. Emmanuel Portalegre never came in to the New York offices. He held a healthy chunk of shares and had little interest in the running of the company, perfectly content to reap the generous financial rewards of his investment.

"I saw Victoria Addington earlier today and Hiro always puts in a few hours here," Mark spoke slowly, looking spooked as he named the other members of the board.

Callie knew she should be very, very worried right now but she just pinched the bridge of her nose and then scratched her forehead.

"They have a quorum," Steph confirmed, the faintest tremble in her voice. She took a breath, "I'll see if I can find out where Chi-Chi and Peter are, I might be able to get them to FaceTime in." She left quickly and Callie stood up and straightened her dress.

She knew that she should feel like she was heading to the gallows but all she could think of was the unfathomable well of loneliness within her.

Claude had been agitating for close on a year to try and get his hands on Arizona's company and now he was bringing things to a head.

She pulled on her jacket and flicked her hair back and stared at Mark. He gave her a strained smile.

"You ready for this?"

Callie gritted her teeth and nodded, knowing that the fire she would normally feel in her belly when going up against the board was missing. Right now her light had gone out and it might cost her dear.

##

Callie and Mark strode through the corridors of the company that she had built from the ground up and headed into the proverbial battle.

The atmosphere was fairly tense in the boardroom as Claude Patterson preened and postulated for a good long while. The company secretary, the head of legal and the remaining board members were all dialled in via FaceTime although, Yannick, the company secretary had an unstable connection.

Despite the severity of the situation, Callie was abstractly amused by Nathaniel Browne's barely concealed irritation with Claude, who after nearly 30 minutes had yet to get to the point.

"Claude, get to the point already. You called this meeting with no notice with the clear intention of catching us off guard. What, exactly, is it you hope to achieve?" The disembodied voice, Chi-Chi, of one of Callie's staunchest allies came through the speakers, cutting Claude off.

"I was getting there, it's important to set the scene," Patterson pouted a little at being interrupted. He looked around the room, smirked a little at Callie and opened a folder in front of him. He gestured for the administrator to hand round identical files and began to read out from a printed page. Callie flicked through the pages of information, listening intently for some clue as how Claude thought he was force the issue with Arizona's company.

"Over the course of the last 18 months, the company has been on a slippery slope of decline. I have said, on the record, that we need to take an aggressive stance to ensure our survival in the current climate …"

"Are you delusional, Patterson?" Mark could't help himself. "Slippery slope of decline? Since when? The share point has been dammed healthy in the last 18 months…"

"But where's the growth? Where's the new business?" Patterson replied. "I've been calling for an injection of new business for at least a year and nothing has happened." He looked around the room again, making eye contact with his acolytes. "I even brought a viable option to the table …."

Callie finally decided to speak up before things got out of hand.

"Claude, not this again. RBM Biomedical?" She leaned forward resting her arms on the cool, polished mahogany of the huge conference table.

"I know you've expressed interest in the day to day management of the company, Claude, but let's face some facts here. It's not your strong suite. Your … business acumen is best suited to marketing and publicity." Callie picked her words carefully. Her instinct to eviscerate him was compelling but with all board members present, she needed to keep things civil. Antagonising Nathaniel Browne was never going to be a smart play and if he genuinely was working in cahoots with Claude, she really needed to keep her head. Her only hope was that Browne realised that Claude was a monumental twit and couldn't manage his way out of a paper bag. She'd bite her tongue, even though Claude was an idiot and was wasting everyone's time.

"Claude, I recall you've mentioned this company a couple of times. This is Callie's partner's business, yes?" Peter Olssen interrupted via his video link. He was supposed to be fishing somewhere in Norway and his irritation at Claude's antics came through, loud and clear.

"Indeed."

"I'm sorry if this sounds rude but Claude, you're an idiot." Peter seemed to have been reading Callie's mind.

"It's in the utmost of bad taste to try and coerce Callie to buy up her partner's company but that salient point notwithstanding, if you understood the most basic of business concepts, you would appreciate that we can't buy or take over a private company. It's not even listed, you simpleton. That's what they teach on day one of even the most rudimentary of MBA's. Where did you go to school, again?" Peter's caustic tones filled the conference room.

Callie was watching Patterson, Browne and Portalegre closely. Patterson was both oblivious and narcissistic, Peter's insults would normally roll off his back but she would have expected his cohort to look a little discomforted. They didn't. They seemed unperturbed at the rebuttal.

"I don't see the need to be rude, Peter." Victoria spoke for the first time. She was an older woman, very clever, very shrewd and always a little hard to read. She had a wide range of actual duties as well as being a board member and was good at her job. Callie had never quite understood why she suddenly joined Patterson's camp.

"I don't see the need for this meeting," Peter replied. "We can't buy the company, that much is certain …"

"I think there are greater issues at stake beyond the buying of little biomedical companies." Claude said.

"Like what?" Callie, Mark, Chi-Chi and Peter spoke in almost complete synchronicity.

"Like the fact that over the last 3 years, the leadership of the company has been uncertain. There simply hasn't been anyone at the helm and the share price is suffering as a result. We need strong and present leadership. Our shareholders deserve it and I feel it's past time that we corrected the course of this company."

Two thoughts raced through Callie's mind at the same time. The first was that Claude had clearly been watching Succession and was challenging Kendall Roy. The second was that he was trying to oust her as the CEO. Again. She nearly laughed out loud, it was so preposterous, it was funny.

And it wasn't.

Claude wasn't trying to force the board to buy RMB. He was calling for another vote of no confidence.

And now he had the votes to do it.

"Wait, what?" Mark spoke slowly, his eyes darting from Claude to Nathanial Browne's.

"I believe I made myself clear. CalTech needs new leadership," Claude replied calmly. "I'm calling for a vote of no confidence in Callie Torres- Rodrigo and move for the separation the roles of CEO and Chair."

There was an explosion of sound, a cacophony of voices all speaking at once, Callie's allies protesting and Claude's acolytes defending. The noise swelled and then gradually faded away to a kind of white noise. Callie stared at the faces of the people she had worked with for so long and knew she should feel more.

Callie knew she should be filled with fury and indignation and fire. But she wasn't. A small, distracted portion of her brain told her that she should even welcome the dreaded sensation of the marching ants up her spine. Her gaze sharpened on Nathaniel Browne, who caught her eye. He was expensively and tastefully dressed but that's where his resemblance to Claude Patterson ended. He looked like a linebacker who'd spent his time in the great outdoors, his face weather beaten, creases in his skin adding to his allure of rugged masculinity. He was nothing like his business partner and she wondered what brought them together. There was a shrewdness to his gaze, and possibly even some sympathy, she wasn't sure.

"Timing sucks, I know. This wasn't really what I intended when I took Larry's seat." Nathaniel shrugged lightly, his broad shoulders straining under the material of his bespoke suit. He had a curiously gentle voice for such a huge man and Callie leaned forward to at least attempt to entreat him to re-consider.

"But I'm ambitious and this is a perfect opportunity for me to spread my wings."

She leaned back and stared at him, wordlessly.

The company secretary finally got everyone to settle down.

"Callie, what do you want to do?"

"You don't need to ask her anything," Claude interjected immediately. "She knows the governance as well as anyone, I call the motion, do I have a second?"

"Aye." Browne responded.

"Wait. Wait," Mark spoke, his voice betraying his desperation.

"I know we've had our differences, Patterson but think about what you're doing here, the minute this coup hits the press, the share price will plummet, any hint of instability at this level always causes ripples, this will cause a tsunami, you'll tank the company completely." Mark was ashen under his tan.

"The entire reason CalTech has done as well at it has, the reason we're a market leader, a global force is because of Callie's innovation and intuition, none of you clowns can replicate that," Peter added from his cabin near some fjords. Incongruously, the sound of a babbling brook and bird song filled the conference room.

"This isn't the time for sentimentality …" Claude began but Chi-Chi cut him off.

"This is Callie's company, she built it from scratch and brought us on board, is this genuinely how you repay her?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, just take the vote," Victoria spoke up again, fidgeting a little in her seat. Perhaps the reality of what they were doing was beginning to dawn on her.

"Does anyone else have anything to say?" Callie spoke out loud for first time since the coup became apparent. "Hiro? Emmanuel? Victoria? This is what you want?" She paused and stared at each of the other board members, giving them the opportunity to make a case or even articulate their reasons.

The only sound that could be heard was water lapping gently against the hull of Peter's boat. Browne's gaze wasn't exactly apologetic but it wasn't defiant or smug and perhaps, if she had a mind to, Callie could take some comfort from the idea that the destruction of her life's work wasn't completely down to malice. Claude, however stared right back at her, his lips curved with an almost triumphant grin. He wasn't even pretending to hide his glee. Victoria Addington deliberately turned away, refusing to meet Callie's gaze.

"I suggest we adjourn …." the company lawyer spoke up, no doubt trying to stall matters a little.

"No, no, no. A vote has been called and we are surely going to take a count. Right now." Claude interrupted sounding as if he were on Broadway and Callie realised that he was relishing the whole theatrics of the day.

"I vote against." She spoke clearly and stared at Claude, knowing that her confidence was in vain. Mark twitched in his seat beside her, he didn't have voting rights on the board and Callie could almost feel the fury and despair vibrating from his coiled frame. She gave him a look and a subtle shake of her head. He'd never been a violent man but she could see him throttling Claude given half a chance.

"Against."

"Against."

"For."

"For."

"For."

"For."

"For." Claude cast his vote last and actually dropped a wink at Callie as his vote signified her removal as the Chair and CEO of her company.

It wasn't even close and Callie straightened the documents on the polished desk in front of her. There was a faint buzzing in her ears and she wasn't sure if it was the air conditioning or the sound of betrayal floating through the air. She wondered if this was how Arizona felt. That thought, the very idea that Arizona might feel the yawning emptiness within her being because of something Callie did almost made her gasp out, her hands balling into fists to stave off the visceral pain. Mark turned to her but the moment was overshadowed by Claude who clapped his hands once, loudly, and briskly rubbed them together.

"The next order business is to vote in a new Chair and then CEO …" he began but was cut off by the company lawyer.

"Thank you, Claude but that's not your call to make. I propose we adjourn now and re-group in, say … a week?" He turned to Callie for confirmation but Browne spoke up instantly.

"It's not her call anymore, and this is exactly why we need to fill those vacant posts immediately. We don't need a vacuum at the top. I nominate Claude Patterson for the role of Chair." He looked around the room gauging support for the nomination and Callie pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened the outraged commentary from Chi-Chi and Peter. It was literally all over bar the shouting and she mentally checked herself out of the boardroom, wondering if flying back to London was a good idea or not. Her response to the vote to install Claude Paterson as the Chair was perfunctory, Victoria Addington's defection, Larry's death, Nathaniel Brown's ambition and Claude Patterson's divisive malice had sealed the decision and there was nothing she could do. Maybe she'd give up her position on the board, sell her remaining shares and run away to join the circus. Right now it seemed like a good idea.

Callie pushed herself up out of her chair and walked out.

xxxx

Arizona listened intently to the person on the other end of the phone. She was gripping it so tightly that her palms were sweaty and her ear was numb.

"What's he saying?" Martha hovered beside her and whispered loudly but Arizona just shook her heard, still listening to the chief medical officer, who had been running the clinical trials. He was giving her verbal feedback ahead of the final publication. It was make or break time and everyone had been tense for the last 48 hours.

Arizona listened and nodded once, her face tight, her heart thumping hard. She thanked her colleague quietly and ended the call, slumped back in her seat and closed her eyes.

She swallowed hard once, twice, tremors coursing through her body, making her hands tremble and sweat trickle down her back.

It was over.

The wait was over.

Arizona snapped her eyes open, her hands moving quickly, clumsily over her phone, scrabbling to unlock it and swipe other favourites.

She needed to call Callie now. She needed to let her know …

"For pity's sake, Arizona. Tell me. Did the changes work? Did they make a difference?" Martha sounded frantic and Arizona almost jumped in her seat, startled. She had been lost in her own world and thoughts and Martha's anxious presence had been lost on her.

Her hands slowly dropped and Arizona carefully, deliberately placed her phone down on her desk and turned to Martha.

A bubble of almost hysterical laughter burst out of her as she started to speak and Arizona clapped her hand over her mouth, feeling the tears fill her eyes. She shook her head at Martha, unable to convey in words what she needed to say.

Martha immediately gathered her up in her arms, smoothing her. "Ahh, don't cry pet. It'll will be all right in the end. This will work itself out, this will ….."

Arizona shook her head again and pulled slightly away from Martha.

"No, that's not it it. That's not why I'm …. Martha, the changes took effect. The compound works the way it was supposed to. They even doubled the test size to make sure." Arizona laughed out loud and held Martha at arms length to look into her beloved face.

"It works, Martha. Everything works. We can go ahead with the IPO …. with everything. It works."

The journals that Callie had somehow procured from Peggy had yielded nothing new. Not really. But there had been a single line of formula that she had written strangely in a couple of places and it forced her to review all of her correspondence with her scientific and medical team. Despite the breadth of knowledge and expertise working on the project it had finally been discovered that a single batch of the drug had been created with the wrong formula and that had resulted in the anomalous results. Once that batch had been officially withdrawn from the clinical trails and the associated information eliminated from the outcomes, the results had stabilised. The percentage efficacy had actually increased and now everyone was champing at the bit for the full release and manufacture of the drug.

Arizona felt herself almost slump in Martha's arms, her legs slightly weak and her head swimming, euphoria and relief sweeping through her limbs, her heart, her mind, her everything.

This was everything.

And she wanted to call Callie and share this with her.

And the black hole of grief re-opened within her, a chasm of pain that sucked the light out her. Another sob rose up with in her but this time Arizona forced it back down.

"You need to call Callie and let her know," Martha, once again read Arizona's mind and repeated what her heart had already told her.

Arizona disengaged from Martha's arms and scratched her forehead. Certainly, Callie had a right to know, she was as invested in this as ….. Arizona's thoughts skidded to a stop. Callie actually had no financial investment in the company. She had given her stake in the company back to Arizona as a birthday present. In fact, she had given the stake back more than a year ago. Which meant that some of the accusations that Arizona had hurled at Callie for wanting to own her and RMB were completely unfounded.

"When did Callie give you that envelope for me?"

"Arizona, don't go off on a tangent, don't look for reasons to shut her out," Martha folded her arms across her bony chest and had that stern expression her face, the one that let Arizona know that Martha was having none of her bullshit today.

"Give Callie a call and let her know that everything is going to be all right."

Arizona gave her a sad smile.

"I don't know that everything is going to be all right, though, do I?"

####

Months later

Callie took a small sip of her wine and looked over at Arizona. Despite the crisp, cold Swiss weather, the skies were almost azure and bright sunshine streamed into the quaint little restaurant, falling on Arizona, her golden hair lit up like a halo. Her blonde hair was longer than Callie had ever seen it, bone straight and draped over her shoulders like a Manuka honey waterfall.

"Your hair's grown, it suits you …" she began and Arizona looked up from her phone to stare at her.

"It's … it's ummm … beautiful." Callie stumbled over her words at Arizona's expression or lack thereof. She just stared at Callie for a moment and then her eyes shifted back to her phone.

"Hmm. So glad you approve."

Her words were light and flippant and completely dismissive and Callie didn't think her heart could sink any further. She took a larger gulp of her wine, hoping that the tremble in her hands wasn't visible.

"I'm not sure today, this trip was a good idea, after all, Arizona." Callie spoke the words that had been swirling around inside her, ever since she got off the plane. Arizona finally put her phone down and leaned back in her chair, she gave Callie a considered gaze, her expression shuttered.

I'm surprised to hear you say that, Callie, you've emailed and phoned incessantly for months and since the … the floatation took place, I figured that now manufacture was in place, you'd want to see how everything panned out. I thought you'd been thrilled …."

"Thrilled?" Callie laughed mirthlessly at the word. "What exactly have I got to be thrilled about, Arizona?" Callie felt the edges of her patience begin to unravel.

"I thought you'd be thrilled to hear from me, to get an invite to see how the manufacturing is going." Arizona carried on, blithely ignoring the interruption and shrugged lightly. "I mean, I thought you'd be interested in the processes and you are here, you came …"

"For god's sake Arizona, of course I came." Callie couldn't help the bite to her tone as she shifted slightly in her chair. "Of course I was going to come. You knew I was going to come."

"Well, no, I really didn't know if you'd show up or not." Arizona ignored Callie's words. " I imagine you have CalTech and all your other billion dollar ventures keeping you busy."

Callie drew in a harsh breath and then released it slowly. Arizona didn't know, she couldn't have known but the comment made the knife twist a little deeper.

"Don't be so fucking disingenuous, Arizona," Callie snapped, infuriated at Arizona's attitude, at her throwaway comment. "I made it clear that you are the centre of my goddamned universe, there was no question of me not coming. You call and I coming running, wasn't that the deal?" She couldn't help the sarcasm in her voice.

Everything still hurt. Everything was still so raw and today had been a big mistake. She shook her head.

"Seriously, why did you invite me?" Arizona half turned away, clearly unwilling to answer the question.

"It is pretty obvious that you don't want me here," Callie pressed.

"Don't be silly," Arizona looked out and stared at the view, and then looked down at her hands, as if playing for time, refusing to meet Callie's stare.

Perhaps it was stupid to try and get a response out of Arizona, she was only going to antagonise her further but things could scarcely get any worse at this point. Maybe a screaming fit might clear the air. Maybe it would drive them further apart. Maybe this would give Arizona closure.

"Arizona, you can barely look at me, you haven't said a single kind thing to me all day," Callie's voice caught for a second. "Did you just drag me here, half way round the world to humiliate me a little more? Is that what this is about? Are you still punishing me?"

For the first time that day, a hint of emotion flashed across Arizona's face, so fleeting Callie couldn't decipher it. The anger and frustration drained away and Callie was left with a yawning sadness within her. It wasn't so long ago that she could read every expression on Arizona's face. Now she was hidden, shrouded. It felt like they were barely more than strangers.

"I didn't bring you here to punish you, Callie. I'm not that cruel."

Another laugh forced its way out of Callie, bubbling up from the depths of her chest and she clamped her hand over her mouth, suddenly scared that she was about to start sobbing. She took a breath, composed herself, feeling Arizona's gaze eviscerate her.

"But you haven't forgiven me for going to Peggy. Not even a little bit. You still think I was wrong, despite everything, you still think I betrayed you, don't you?"

Arizona raised one of her imperious eye brows but said nothing and Callie dragged her hands through her hair.

"Is this it, Arizona? Do you really want us to be over? Are you done?"

Arizona stared at her silently for a full minute and then looked away. She stared out into the Geneva landscape and Callie watched her chew her lip and open her mouth as if to speak. But she remained silent.

A waiter came to top up their wine glasses and Callie was almost grateful for the interruption, she could feel her heart pounding within her chest, waiting for Arizona's response. She knew it was almost inevitable; she knew Arizona's nature. As much as the woman was filled with love and compassion, she could also be hard, unyielding and unforgiving. Arizona could be so damned stubborn.

"Do you want us to be over, Arizona? Is that why you asked me to come, to tell me face to face?" Callie prompted again, her voice soft.

"Do you know what it feels like to be lied to, Callie?" Arizona looked back at her, this time the brittle veneer was gone and she sounded almost like herself. She leaned forward in her chair and tucked her hair behind her ears, she had that expression on her face, Callie recognised it from her board meetings and lectures. It was that academically engaged face, the one that showed that her brain was engaged in the endeavour, just maybe not her heart.

"It's not a rhetorical question, Callie. I really do want to know."

"Yes." Callie responded quickly, not entirely certain where this train of questioning was taking them. Arizona had a point to make and all Callie could do was be honest with her. She wasn't prepared to give up on their relationship but right now, with Arizona still so angry with her, there wasn't very much she could do.

"Yes, I know what it feels like to be lied to."

"Then why would you do that to me? You said that you loved me, why on earth would you do something so deceitful?"

Callie sighed at how Arizona had categorised her actions but decided not to object, there was no point. She tilted her head and smiled a little, her face felt like it was melting, she felt as if she was floating outside of her body watching her life crumble.

"I do love you, Arizona and I took the actions I did because I thought that they would help. I thought that it was the right thing to do at the time."

"And now? If the circumstances were the same, would you do it again?" Arizona persisted and Callie sank back in her seat, releasing an exasperated breath. She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, trying to quell her natural responses.

"Bearing in mind how much you hate me right now, I guess not." Callie couldn't entirely mask her irritation but sighed at the cold glance Arizona shot her.

"I'd like you to take this seriously, Callie. I'm genuinely trying to … to understand …."

"No, you're not trying to understand a single thing. You're putting me on trial, Arizona and it's not going to fly. Either we try to make this work or we don't. I can't keep apologising and you can't keep punishing me." Callie decided that she wasn't playing Arizona's game anymore.

"I could see a solution to a problem that you were too proud or stubborn or hurt to take. I did it for you, because I didn't think you could do it yourself." She held up her hand to stop Arizona interrupting.

"No, you're right, sweetie. It wasn't my call, it wasn't my decision to make. But you were hurting, you were suffering and I couldn't stand around doing nothing when the solution was right there."

"You just had to swoop in to be the saviour?" Arizona shot back, her back straight and her chin thrust out. Everything about her posture screamed antagonism. Callie had no doubt that she was still as mad as hell and unwilling to understand Callie's perspective.

Callie sighed and then shrugged. "You said that before, hon. I don't think that I needed to be your hero but I don't know, maybe you're right. I don't always know what goes on in my brain. I just wanted to help you, I thought that we worked well together … I thought that we were a team, partners…"

"Partners don't go behind each others back and lie and deceive each other."

"No, they don't. You're right they don't. They are open and honest and reasonable with one another, though. Aren't they?" Callie tilted her head and bared her teeth at Arizona.

"Very cute, Callie." Arizona returned a grim smile, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "So, this is all my fault? I'm the bad guy in this scenario?"

"You know full well that's not what I'm saying at all," Callie felt a kind of numbness take over. Arizona was completely entrenched in her position and unwilling or unable to see reason. Callie realised that maybe they really were done.

Mentally she shook her head. She couldn't wouldn't let that happen.

"You have just said that partners are open and honest and reasonable, obviously implying that I've been none of those things." Arizona said, not letting go of her thread.

"If you were truly honest about whatever number Peggy O'Neill did on you, I might have reconsidered my actions." Callie spoke the words gently but with an intensity, she needed to … to do something to stop this …..

"But you didn't." Callie licked her lips and tried to find the right words, she could feel the dryness in her mouth and a tremble shudder through her body. "Arizona, my love, you never once spoke about her, not even when I fired her and had to explain why. You had every opportunity to tell me that she hurt beyond all reason and that it broke your heart to breathe the same air as her. But you didn't."

Arizona shook her head, just once at Callie's words, but remained silent.

"I take responsibility for my actions. I'm sorry I went behind your back, I truly am. It was never my intention to hurt you or betray you, even though that's what I ended up doing. I thought that, ultimately, what you wanted was for the compound to be manufactured and made available to the people that needed it as quickly as possible. I didn't think you wanted to wait for another solution."

Callie stopped and took a gulp of air, she was getting off track, at this point it didn't really matter whether Arizona had a share in the debacle or not. Callie could only own up to her crap and let the chips fall where they may.

"Arizona, I am truly sorry I went to Peggy O'Neill. I am, not just because you hated the thought of seeing her again or going to her for help but I'm sorry because it wasn't my place to do that." She bit her lip and swallowed. "It wasn't my place to do any of that and I'm sorry," she repeated softly.

Callie chewed on her lip for a second and then turned to look outside, at the lush, green rolling countryside. The sun was shining even brighter than before and it felt almost incongruous that there was such beauty in the world when everything within her was a barren wasteland.

"Arizona, I'm going to leave now. Maybe …. maybe you'll think about this, think about us and …"

She could feel her voice start to tremble and breaking down right now wasn't an option. She took another deep, shuddering breath and cleared her throat.

"I love you. I hope you understand that. I hope that you can take some time and reconsider everything that's happened between us." She stood up slowly, her eyes fixed on Arizona's down turned head. "I'll stop ….I'll stop bothering you, if that's what you want, Arizona but I love you and if you call, I will come."

Arizona was staring at the pristine table cloth, her jaw clenched, Callie could see her hands balled into fists on her lap. She looked up at Callie and there were bright splotches of colour in her cheeks, vivid against the unnatural paleness of her face. Her eyes were bright, bright and fierce and perhaps she was about to cry but she said not a word and simply averted her gaze over Callie's shoulder.

And Callie nodded once, blinked back her tears and quickly walked away.

###

Arizona stared at Calle's retreating back and opened her mouth to call her back.

"Callie …" she whispered, knowing that the woman she hadn't seen or spoken to in months wouldn't have heard her whispered plea. She clamped her jaw shut, and gripped her edge of her plush seat to prevent her from getting and running after Callie.

"Was madame's meal satisfactory?" The waiter appeared in front of her, obscuring Callie as she left the little bistro that Arizona frequented.

She cursed and blessed Pierre at his interruption. Arizona didn't know whether to run after Callie or be pleased to see her walk away and Pierre helped her delay making a decision.

"Everything was lovely, as usual. Thank you, Pierre," Arizona forced a polite smile to her face as she looked up at him, pulling out her credit card and swiping through her payment. She pulled out some franc's as a tip, guiltily aware of the meals that both she and Callie barely touched.

By the time she accepted his discreet thanks and tidied up, Callie was nowhere to be seen.

Are you completely mentally deficient? Go after her. Go after her now.

Arizona's brain fairly screamed the instruction in a voice that sounded scarily similar to Martha's but still she sat, unmoving, her heart and mind racing too fast for her to catch up.

She had expected Callie to look different, somehow, to be different. That the months that they had been apart to show more physically on her person. Arizona couldn't quite understand why she thought that or why she expected it. She hadn't changed outwardly, so it was strange that she expected to see Callie in ashes and a sackcloth. The 2 or so hours that they had spent together that morning had been strange and difficult. Callie had been quiet and a little subdued, not her usual ebullient self and the change had been both noticeable and painful to Arizona. But she looked exactly the same, well-groomed and beautiful, her luscious dark hair falling to her shoulders and gleaming with health and vitality. Her full, soft lips had only curved into a smile once or twice and her eyes, her deep fathomless, expressive eyes had been reserved and guarded, watchful and each time they landed on Arizona, she could also hear both of their hearts splintering, just a little bit more.

Even though neither of them had changed outwardly, Arizona felt the utter devastation that remained, unchecked and unabated, visceral and raw within her.

She knew that Callie felt the same.

Arizona looked down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She bit her lower lip to stop the tremble and after a moment or two, stared up at the ceiling in the hopes that gravity would stop the tears from forming. The lump in her throat was as big now as it had been months ago.

She didn't know what she wanted to do.

She wanted the pain to stop.

Arizona hadn't thought that she was punishing Callie, she had just decided to push their relationship to the outer edges of her consciousness, unable and unwilling to address the chasm that had grown between them. But every so often, when her brutal 18 or 19 or 20 hour days didn't bring about oblivion at night, she would stare at the walls of their home, and wish for Callie's loving warmth to encompass her.

Her mother had finally wormed the truth out of her and rather than expressing any disappointment in the end of her relationship, she'd been how she always was, loving and supportive. She also suggested that Arizona seek out a therapist to help her make sense of what she was going through. Increasingly, Arizona was inclined to agree, though she hadn't done more than seek out a webpage of local therapists.

Arizona sighed and gathered her belongings, she had a few more hours at the local labs but to all intents and purposes, her work here was done. As she had demonstrated to Callie, the manufacture was going well, distribution was going well, results were exceptionally good, the value of the stock was soaring. Everything that she had set out to achieve was coming to fruition. Arizona could head back home and continue work on her other developments, she could go back to lecturing full time, she could just cash out and live off her earnings, the world was, quite literally, her oyster.

But without Callie, it all felt like volcanic dust in her mouth.

Arizona didn't know if that meant that she still wanted Callie. It seemed like a no-brainer, she was barely living without Callie in her life and yet, she'd had 2 hours to try and broach a reconciliation and all she had done was be distant and polite or sarcastic and petty.

Was she done? Was she really prepared to let Callie go?

Arizona had never really asked herself that question before and, possibly for the first time, she gave a moment's thought to what her life might be like without Callie in it.

Arizona felt her throat close up convulsively and she reached for her bag, stumbling to her feet. She almost broke into a run as reached the entrance, the startled host hurrying to hold the door open for her.

Maybe they could try couple's therapy, perhaps they could start off dating again, maybe she could just learn to let go of her hurt and anger and frustration.

Sure, there was no doubt that she was still mad at Callie, but she also knew that she was also still in love with her and that loving Callie and being loved by her had been the one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

She couldn't let that go without at least trying to repair the damage.

Arizona skidded to a halt, her eyes desperately scanning the empty car park. She could feel the adrenaline pulsating through her, a tingling in her fingers and sweat rolling down her back.

She was at a near pant as if she had been running hard and for the briefest of moments Arizona realised that she couldn't remember the last time she'd been out for a run. Her hair whipped about her face as she scanned the well maintained parking lot. It was almost completely empty. They had arrived at the restaurant in separate cars, Arizona making an excuse about needing her own ride, ignoring the skepticism and barely concealed hurt in Callie's eyes. Her rental was exactly where she left it but Callie's town car and driver had gone. Arizona knew it was it absurd to have expected Callie to be hanging about aimlessly. She hadn't given her a single reason to hope and it had been nearly 15 minutes since Callie had quietly walked away from her.

"Fuck." Arizona murmured the profanity to herself. And then she pinched the bridge of her nose. She was going to have to take her share of the blame and do her bit to repair their relationship. Arizona knew she owed it to both of them.

She dropped her bag where she stood and pulled out her phone from her pocket, her palms sweaty, fingers trembling and attempted to swipe through to her favourites, seeking Callie's number but the phone slipped through her hands and crashed to the concrete floor. She nearly screamed out loud; she had never ever had so much as a crack on any of her phones, throughout the years that she'd owned a smartphone, but now, when she needed it most, she had no doubt that her phone was badly smashed.

Scrabbling at her feet, she grabbed up the device and looked at the face. Despite the case and cover, the phone face, was indeed covered in tiny cracks, radiating from the corner across the entire front. Arizona, incongruously, shook the phone a couple of times and then attempted to place a call to Callie again. But before the call could connect, she ended it. What the sam hill was she going to say? She had let Callie walk away from her, despite the pleading she could see in Callie's eyes. Just calling up and saying hey, I'm an ass, let's try again, wasn't going to cut it.

Wow, where was all this wisdom 15 minutes ago? Arizona muttered to herself as she grabbed up her bag and trudged towards her car. Maybe she needed a plan of sorts. Perhaps go directly to Callie's hotel to see her, to speak with her face to face. To make amends.

Arizona sat in her car for a minute, chewing on her lower lip, her mind both blank and filled with a thousand racing thoughts. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what was for the best and a sudden, acute ache gripped her as she realised that her ability to know, almost instinctively what Callie needed wasn't as strong as it used to be. The distance that she had enforced between them had taken away more than she could have imagined and the reality was only occurring to her now.

Arizona picked up her phone again, determined to call properly, she'd go to her and apologise or at least open the way for them to maybe start again.

Arizona jumped, startled as her phone began to ring in her hand. She stared for a second. Had this been a fairytale, it would have been Callie calling her, asking for forgiveness, re-affirming their love, sweeping her off her feet, something, anything.

But it wasn't Callie calling.

"Hi Ma, it's kind of late right now, is everything ok?" She listened for a moment to her mother's tremulous voice and felt the pit within her open up, just a little more.

"It's ok, Ma. It's ok. I'll get the next flight out, I'll be with you as soon as I can."

##

Callie couldn't remember who it was that told her to always have her passport on her but it was handy advice. Instructing her chauffeur to take her directly to the airport, she gritted her teeth so hard her jaw ached. She would not break down in public, she would not lose her cool. She would not have a melt down and scream and rage against everything in the world, she would not seek out Margaret Christiansen and …. Callie's thoughts skidded to a halt and rather than allowing the despair or the fury to overwhelm her, she began her breathing exercises. In for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, out for a count of 4. She closed her eyes, shut out the images in her head and focused on her breathing. By sheer will alone, Callie forced herself into a meditative state, clearing her mind, if not her heart of the devastation that had just taken place.

Once she got to Aéroport de Genéve, Callie purchased a ticket on the first flight to the States, unwilling to wait for a flight to New York. For a second, she mourned the fact that she wasn't the type of person that kept a private jet on standby. As much as it would have save her time and convenience, the carbon footprint always made her feel guilty and she avoided this particular extravagance as much as she could. A few days in LA might help her gain some perspective. She snorted quietly to herself at the thought of gaining perspective. The facts were stark and difficult to bear. Right now, Arizona was still as mad as hell with her and unwilling to forgive Callie or even engage in a discussion. She wasn't willing to accept an apology, so Callie wasn't sure if she had any options left.

She wasn't sure if she could take any hope from the fact that Arizona hadn't confirmed that she was done with their relationship. Hope could be a dangerous thing and Callie wasn't sure if she was strong enough to continue to hold on to that tiny flare that flickered within her that Arizona would forgive her. She was aware that it was possible to both love and hate someone at the same time and wondered if Arizona would acknowledge that.

She had been staring obsessively at her phone as she waited to board, willing it to ring, praying that Arizona would call. Perhaps she should have stayed, given her a chance to come round. Callie swallowed a groan of frustration. She was going round and round in circles, second-guessing herself, not knowing what to do. She had never been this indecisive. She had also never been this crazy in love with someone. Callie vaguely recalled telling Arizona that she would debase herself for her. She switched her phone off and tightened her belt and idly wonder why she always fell in love with people who couldn't love her back.

She aimed a vacant smile at the attendant and accepted the glass of champagne, fully intending to down some hard liquor and a couple of Vicodin and sleep for the duration of the 13 hour flight. She had purchased a carry-on at the airport and a few essentials and if she wanted, Callie could flip through the mountain of communication Steph and Mark had been sent her over that last week.

She savoured the effervescent wine, it was subtle and not half bad and considered her life. She was aware of how incredibly lucky and privileged she was and had been but the emotional hits she had taken over the last couple of months had left her reeling. If she were wise, she should be strategising with Mark and some of the board to try and take back the reins from that idiot Claude or even work with Nathaniel Browne but right now, Callie lacked the energy or interest to fight. All she wanted was for Arizona to hold her close and for the blonde to tell her that she loved her.

She doubted that would happen anytime soon. Bombarding Arizona with heartfelt pleas and begging her to reconsider or even talk to her didn't seem to be getting any traction, Callie had to let Arizona come to her. Arizona had to make the decision that she wanted this relationship. Callie had made it clear that she was sorry and that she loved Arizona. There wasn't any else to be said.

###

Arizona was able to drop everything in Geneva and reach the hospital in Connecticut a mere 18 hours after her mother's panicked phone call. Her father had suffered a severe heart attack and stroke and was now in a coma.

"I'm so glad you're here, sweetheart." Her mother fell into her arms and held her tightly. Arizona hugged her mother and kept her tears at bay. She and her father might have had their differences over the years but this was devastating news.

"What has his neurologist said?"

"There has been considerable damage but not necessarily life-threatening, he's strong, your father is strong, he can pull through this." Barbara looked tired and pale, lines of worry and distress creasing her face.

Arizona led her mother to the waiting room and sat her down carefully.

Her mother had always been calm and sensible. Stoic to a fault but always displaying warmth, charm and humour. The woman almost collapsed in the seat beside her was unrecognisable. Even when Tim was first injured and when they thought that he might never walk again, she had held firm, been strong and present for all of them. Through everything, her mother had been able to hold it together, hold them, the family together.

"Ma, it'll …it will be alright. Dad's too damned stubborn to let go when he's not ready. He'll make a full recovery." Arizona was being truthful about her father's stubbornness, she had to have got it from somewhere. Arizona had no idea how poorly really he was or whether he would actually make a full recovery but it was the right thing to say right now.

Barbara shook her head and sniffled into a handkerchief. She then straightened up and pulled a deep breath in, moping her cheeks.

"I'm afraid that…" she paused and sighed again then spoke, her voice getting firmer as the words came out.

"Your father and I had been …. having some … some difficulties, Arizona, my love." Barbara stared straight ahead, her hands twisting together in her lap.

"Okay, Ma." Arizona knew there was more to come and waited it out.

"I know it isn't exactly news that your father can be … intractable about things. It's not that I stopped loving him. Not exactly. Not until recently." She shrugged and finally looked over at Arizona. She gave her a sweet and sad smile. "I just couldn't accept his attitude about Timmy." Her voice firmed, an edge that Arizona rarely heard from her mother, crept into her tone. "I never, ever will give up the thought of my only son. I will never, ever believe that he is lost to me forever. So, I decided to pay another investigator to look into his disappearance."

Arizona opened her mouth but closed it without saying anything.

"Your father considered this an act of betrayal. He acted as if I had sold state secrets to Bin Laden. I don't think I could have fallen lower in his esteem."

Arizona felt her heart sink and she reached out to clasp her mother's agitated hands.

"Oh, Ma… I'm so sorry. I wish you could have told me, I wish I could have helped."

Barbara shook her head slightly and patted Arizona's hands.

"He'd decided to move out several months ago and well, darling, not to put too fine a point on it, we were barely speaking and the lawyers were already involved."

Arizona had known that her mother had put up with a lot from her father. She also knew that her mother had always been a buffer between her children and her husband but she had always thought that they'd had a happy marriage.

"We weren't always unhappy, sweetheart," Barbara said, responding to Arizona's unspoken thoughts.

"Things became increasingly difficult after Timmy left, your father never forgave him for not getting better." Barbara's gaze sharpened a little. "Thinking back, I suppose I never forgave your father for that. I couldn't … I could not countenance his … his bull-headed obstinance about it. He saw it as poor reflection on him and that was the end of it. He expected me to support him in this as I always had done, in the past. And I would not. I could not. Not over this, not over my child."

"I … I think I understand," Arizona said quietly, her mind whirling.

"I freely admit that the strain on both of us was immense. And I am afraid that this might had precipitated his attack."

Arizona nodded slowly, though she disquiet understand. The fallout over Timmy's disappearance was years ago. Why were her parent's still debating the matter now?

"Is this about the 7 year ruling? To have Timmy officially declared … deceased?" Arizona could barely push the words out. This was another event in her life that she'd point blank refused to deal with, the very real possibility of Timmy's death was something that she had pushed into a little box, padlocked it up and hidden it away from sight, just so she didn't need to deal with it.

Barbara pushed out a deep breath out and grimaced a little. She took a breath, as if to speak but then let the air out slowly. She turned to look at Arizona and her expression held so much emotion that Arizona reached out to clasp her mother's hand.

"Ma … tell me. What is it?"

Barbara shook her head but before she could respond or Arizona could press her further, her father's neurologist walked up to them, her expression very carefully neutral and Arizona's heart sank even further.

###

Arizona wrapped her coat more firmly around her and stared up at the building. It seemed surreal that it had been over a year since she had last visited. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face the music and for a moment thought about walking around the block to gather her thoughts. But Arizona knew that the more she hesitated, the more she would let her doubts and insecurities take over again and perhaps throw away this opportunity. The winter chill seeped in as she stood on the sidewalk looking up at the CalTech building. Arizona had finally convinced herself to make contact with Callie.

For whatever reason, Arizona found herself unable to pick up the phone and make the call. It was stupid and childish but Arizona didn't know what to say. There hadn't been another call or email or text from Callie since the last time they had met, just as Callie had promised. Arizona couldn't really blame Callie for ignoring her. Not ignoring her, she reminded herself, she was keeping her word about not bothering Arizona. She was probably trying to save herself more heartache and Arizona couldn't really blame her for that. Arizona had ignored Callie for months, practically ghosting her. But Arizona finally realised that she needed Callie in her life and that she would need to take the next step. After rejecting Callie in Geneva, it was down to her to begin to mend their relationship.

Swallowing her trepidation, Arizona marched into the Callie's offices and straight to the reception.

Incongruously, the same man, with his model good looks was waiting behind the beautifully polished reception.

"Dr Robbins," he greeted her with a practised smile, "How are you today?"

"Kwame, hi. Ummm, I did have a fob to let me through but I seem to have lost it." Arizona had completely forgotten about the level of security needed to get into the building. She had simply jumped a plane with the sole intention of seeing Callie.

Kwame's smile didn't falter for a second but she caught the flicker of indecision in his eyes and swallowed hard, feeling her heart rate triple. What was he worried about? The possibility that Callie might have blocked her completely, ghosted her in return, denying all access hadn't been a consideration until this very minute.

"Kwame, what's going on?"

"Let me get Mark Sloan for you," he replied, avoiding her gaze and picking up a phone.

She wasn't going to make a scene and now wished that she had just gone straight to Callie's apartment in the city. She didn't have the key there either but as it was the middle of a working day, she hadn't felt like being let into the apartment while Callie was at work. Now thoughts raced through her head about what was really happening. She should have just phoned. She pulled out her phone and stared at it for a second.

"Arizona?"

She jumped, lost in her thoughts and not realising that Mark was standing next to her, larger than life. She blinked up at him and forced a smile to her face.

"Mark." She faltered, unable to say anything. Her mouth went completely dry and it felt as if her tongue suddenly doubled in size. What would she do if Callie wouldn't see her? The enormity of what she had done crashed into her like a freight train as she stood in the lobby of Callie's building, confronted with the possibility that her relationship had actually ended.

"Arizona, what are you doing her?" Mark gently took her by the arm and led her away.

"Where's Callie? Arizona knew she sounded deranged but if anyone knew what was going on, it would be Mark.

"Come on, let's go upstairs and talk."

She calmed down a little. There was no way Mark would be letting her into the building if Callie had had her banned or whatever.

They entered the elevator and stood in silence as it whisked them up the the top floor. Mark struck his customary pose of insouciant elegance, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his tailored trousers. She could feel his stare but he didn't say a word.

"Mark, what?" Arizona knew there was a bite to her tone, but she couldn't help it, her anxiety was now going though the roof. She knew something was wrong.

"You look … good." He replied slowly, clearly choosing his words with care.

"I look and feel like crap, my father is in hospital, my mother is in bits, I haven't slept in days and I might have destroyed my relationship with Callie. Don't mess about with me Mark, tell me what's going on." The words burst out of her in a rush and she could hear the faintest edge of tears in her voice now. Arizona took a deep breath and then another.

"Did she tell you to send me away?" This time Arizona didn't bother to hide her fear and her distress.

Mark opened his mouth but then paused and shook his head.

"It's a little complicated but she hasn't told me to send you away or anything like that." His response was a little circumspect but relief seeped through her at his words and she slumped back against the wall of the elevator.

"Your Dad's in hospital? I'm sorry to hear that, I guess if you've come all the way over from Europe, it must be serious."

"He had a heart attack, followed by a stroke, went into a coma, came out the other side last week and is making a slow recovery, currently no major deficits, though his speech and mobility are severely impaired ." Arizona recited the major points without ceremony. She was conflicted about so many things and though she was beyond relieved that her father was pulling through, she couldn't help feeling the resentment at what had transpired in the weeks and months before his attack, the stress of which, no doubt contributed to his collapse. She realised that at some point she would need to address the guilt she was feeling for not being available to support her mother or even be aware that her parents were going through such difficulties. But she would have to save that for therapy. Always supposing she could get up enough courage to actually start seeing a therapist. She knew it was overdue.

Mark's eyebrows rose a little but he nodded quietly.

"Let me know if there's anything we can do to help, we have access to some of the best the best medical teams in the world, anything you need."

Arizona nodded and forced a smile to her face but noted that he didn't refer to Callie by name in his offer. The doors opened on an unfamiliar floor and Mark ushered her out and along a wide and brightly lit corridor, leading to a suite of offices.

"This isn't Callie's office," Arizona stated as she took a seat in the chair Mark offered. The office was large, well-appointed, if a little masculine.

Mark sat down at the other end of the sofa but stood up again immediately, going over to the polished desk and pressing a button on the intercom,

"You want something to eat or drink? You had lunch yet?"

Arizona blinked and tried hard not to scream. Whatever was going on, Mark seemed to want to delay telling her. She shook her head once and listened to him order coffee and water.

He came round his desk but leaned against it rather than sitting down beside her.

"Mark, will you please tell me what's happened. Where is Callie?"

"Haven't you called her since you've been in Europe?" Mark asked instead, giving Arizona a carefully neutral look. He needn't have bothered, she could feel his censure all the way from across his plush office.

She shook her head rapidly, feeling her hair flop about. "I know how this sounds but I don't know what to say to her. I don't know … how to fix this ….it was just easier to come see her." Arizona felt the inaneness of her words press down her. "I know what that sounds like but just tell me where Callie is, if she's not here today."

"I don't know where Callie is." He spoke gently, his words were simple and his gaze was intense but the words made no sense.

"What … what do you mean?"

"After Callie came to see you in Geneva, she called and told me that she had seen you and that she needed a break from everything." He shrugged his shoulders and looked about his office as if the art work on the walls held the answer to the meaning of life.

"And …?" Arizona still couldn't make sense of his words.

"And nothing. She asked me not to call, said she wanted to be left alone for a while. She said she'd check in every so often and that's it."

Arizona shook her head.

"That doesn't make any sense, Mark. You're saying that Callie has just disappeared, you really want me to believe that you don't know where she is?" Arizona rubbed her face hard with both hands, and then, unable to sit still jumped to her feet and started pacing his office. She swung round to look at him, leaning awkwardly against his desk. He fiddled with his watch and then his cufflinks and tie, unease radiated from him.

"You really want me to believe that you haven't spoken with Callie, in … what? months?" She didn't even try to hide her disbelief. Callie spoke with Mark more often than anyone.

"I've spoken to her twice in the last month, she doesn't tell me where she is or what she's doing," He finally met her gaze and shrugged. "She just tells me she's checking because it was the one promise I could get her to make."

"Am I hearing tis correctly? What about her work her? All her projects? The only reason she left me …. left RMB was because she had to be here. Now you're telling me she just upped and disappeared?"

He shrugged again, this time adopting his usual pose of shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he looked away. But for a split second, Arizona caught the glimpse of something in Mark's expression. It reminded her of Kwame downstairs on reception.

"Goddamn it, Mark. What are you not telling me?" Realising that she was nearly at a shout, Arizona looked around to see if Mark's PA was about and walked towards him, holding her hands out, unconsciously in supplication.

"Mark, outside of Aria, you know and love Callie the best …" Arizona paused her and dropped her hands, feeling her shoulders sag. She could feel the bile rise up within her. She had no-one to blame but herself.

"I know, full well, that I have no right to ask this but please tell me what's happened. I can see in your face that something has happened. I know I'm a ditz and I can be oblivious but when I asked for Callie downstairs, Kwame acted strangely as well."

Mark tugged on his beard for a moment, considering her and then straightened up and walked round to sit behind his desk, placing distance and a barrier between them.

"Nothing that you need to be worried about, Arizona." He shuffled some papers on his desk and then woke his laptop.

"Mark, I need to know." She gritted her teeth and stood her ground. Maybe her fighting for this was too little, too late and completely misplaced but it was a start.

Mark tossed the page down and leaned back, his gaze a little harder than before.

"Sorry, what I meant was it's nothing to do with you, Arizona and it's none of your business."

Arizona stared at him, nonplussed at his response and swung around the office, emotions that she couldn't name swirling through her. She hadn't fought with her distraught mother, upset her very sick father to come in search of Callie only to fail at the first hurdle. She turned back to face him.

"Mark, I don't know how much Callie told you about our relationship, I mean … all of it… but it hasn't been easy. We've hurt each other in strange and weird ways but … I love her, Mark." Arizona's voice broke and she took a deep breath to try and compose herself. "I love her so much and it hurts when she's not with me." She took another deep breath and used the tips of her fingers to ineffectually blot the dampness on her cheeks.

"You sent her away when she came to Geneva for you, Arizona, is that how much you love her?" Though his words were issued in a calm monotone, this time Mark wasn't hiding his scorn.

"No. It isn't. I was …. unkind to her …" Arizona admitted, fully prepared to own her part in the debacle. She closed her eyes for a second and could still see the devastated hurt in Callie's dark brown eyes when she asked if Arizona was done with their relationship.

Mark's eyes flickered for a second and she saw him sigh a little. He pulled out a pristinely ironed square of fold linen from his pocket and leaned over to hand it to Arizona.

"So, why be such a … why be so hard on her, then? You'd already given her the silent treatment after the whole Margaret Christiansen thing, despite the fact that she was right to go to her, why couldn't you have forgiven her?" Mark threw up his hands to express his disbelief. "Callie saved your ass, Arizona. She did the right thing. She made the right call …."

"It wasn't her call to make, Mark." Arizona burst out, her hands balled into fist, the hurt and anger rising again for a minute. She swallowed, unclenched her fists and delicately dabbed her cheeks. She took in a couple more breaths and then looked at Mark.

"I was furious at her and hurt beyond measure because she took away my autonomy, Mark." Arizona licked her lips, silently debating within herself on what to say, how much to share. A bubble of misplaced laughter rose up within her. What did it matter how much she shared with Mark, she should have shared all of this with Callie.

"By going to Peg … Margaret behind my back, Callie took away my agency or it felt like she'd taken away my agency. Maybe it was the right call to make but it wasn't her call to make."

"But, in the long run …" Mark began to rationalise.

"It's exactly what Peggy did with me, Mark. It's exactly what Peggy did with me. She took almost everything thing professional from me and she took away my right to make my own decisions. I had to make hundred's of changes about my life and my career, about who I am as a person, after Peggy left, because of what she stole from me." Arizona blew out a breath and stumbled back on the sofa, her legs almost giving way beneath her.

"I understand now that Callie was acting in my best interests, not just my interests but the entire project could have been doomed if we didn't launch the IPO when we did. I know Callie's actions led to the resolution of the problem in the compound." She looked up at Mark, who had come from his seat and lowered himself beside her. "I even get that she did what I couldn't … wouldn't do but at the time, all I could see was that she had lied again." This time, Arizona lifted her head and allowed bitter laughter escape even as another tear ran down her cheek.

"Callie was this … this … wondrous, impossibly wondrous woman, whom I loved so much and she had done to me the one thing I couldn't forgive."

They sat in silence for a second whilst Arizona dabbed her cheeks again, she felt as if she had run a marathon, everything fibre in her ached, she could imagine curling up on this very sofa and sleeping for a week.

"If you're still mad at Callie, if you can't forgive her, why are you even here? I don't get it."

"I was thinking therapy might be a good idea."

Mark blinked at the non-sequitur. "OK," he said.

"I mean, I know there is some residual anger at Callie and I have issues with … trust and attachment …" Arizona chewed her lip as she sorted out her thoughts. "I thought that maybe, if Callie was … willing … we could try again, maybe I could get some help …" she blew out her breath and chuckled, without any humour.

"I accused Callie of having a saviour complex, that she got off on stepping in and recusing me … whatever." Arizona twisted the handkerchief between her hands.

"When I got to the hospital and saw my mom and dad, all those hours waiting to see if he would make it through the night, the only other thought in my head was how much I needed Callie with me. All I could think about was that she would make things better, just by being with me, holding my hand, holding me, supporting me. She has everything in the world but all I needed was … was just her. I need her, Mark. Maybe it's taken me too long to understand how much but Jesus, I just need her. That's why I'm here." She buried her face in her hands, unable to contain the tears any longer. Mark took her in his arms and, grateful for his comfort, turned her face into his exquisitely tailored shoulder and sobbed out her anguish.

After an age of time, during which Mark simply stroked her back and allowed her to deplete herself, Arizona finally straightened up and rubbed his now destroyed, soggy handkerchief under her snotty nose.

"I"m sorry," she hiccupped a little. "I didn't plan to come here and off-load on you …"

"I'm guessing this has been a long time coming, right? You've been under constantly pressure for the better part of the last 2 years and this thing with Margaret and the IPO and Callie? It's kind of understandable, right?" He placed his hands on her shoulders and peered into her face.

"I think, maybe you should come stay with Nicole and me, at least for a few days. Callie would gut me alive, if I left you alone whilst you're this vulnerable."

She gripped his arms a little.

"Mark, please tell me she's all right, please. Please tell me where she is?"

"Arizona, I think she's … alright. I mean, I don't think she's physically unwell or anything. But she's hurting and she's gone to ground to lick her wounds. What else is she going to do if she thinks that you don't want her."

Arizona pulled in a shuddering breath.

"I do want her …. I need her now, more than I've ever needed anything."

"So, call her. Tell her that, I know it's wants she wants to hear from you."

Heart thumping painfully, Arizona pulled her phone out but just grasped it in her hand silently, making no move to wake her device and swipe through to her favourites.

"I know Callie doesn't need big gestures or huge declarations but just calling her up out of the blue like nothing had happened …." She shook her head. "I need to see her, Mark."

"You're making this way more complicated than it needs to be."

Arizona nodded. She couldn't explain to Mark, she could barley articulate it to herself but sitting in the hospital with her mother she'd been overwhelmed by the memory of the last time she had seen Timmy. She hadn't known then that it would be the last time she saw him and the grief of that memory haunted her. What if something happened to Callie and the last thing Arizona said to her was something cold and hurtful. How would she ever live with herself?

###

Good as his word, Mark cancelled his day and took Arizona to his home in Brooklyn. His wife, Nicole, whom Arizona had met and got on with previously was a little cool and distant for a while until Arizona decided to address the elephant in the room after dinner

"I appreciate you both letting me stay her tonight, I get that it's going to be a little awkward me being her and you being 2 of Callie's best friends, I know you care for her and I hurt her …"

"Care for? I adore Callie." Nicole's obsidian eyes flashed at her words and Arizona quelled for a second. "I love her more than I do my own brother, which, admittedly, isn't saying much but you really did a number on her …"

"Nicci, honey, ok. She gets it. She's hurting too." Mark gently interrupted before his wife really got a head of steam going.

Nicole tugged at her short hair, a gesture Arizona had seen in Nicole before, displaying her frustration.

"You know what, you're a guest in my home. I apologise for my incivility. But being Callie's partner also makes you … made you part of my family." She chewed her lip for a second and then carried on in her more customary, gentle voice, her inherent kindness softening her words. "I always tell my family the truth and I'm going to do the same with you, because Callie loves you and you need to know the full impact you've have on her life."

Mark had been slouched in his deep sofa watching his wife speak but at her words he straightened up, his eyes shooting to Nicole's face.

"Nicci." there was a clear order to cease and desist in his tone but she raised an eyebrow at him, challenging his command.

"Mark, my darling, you fully understand what has to happen here, don't you?"

"What the hell his going on? What has happened" The anxiety that Arizona had felt with Kwame and Mark earlier came rushing back.

Nicole pick up her glass of wine, walked over to Arizona and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. The distance and coolness in her eyes had been replaced with compassions and a little sadness.

"Callie can't help but try to protect people, all people but especially those she loves. She does a hundred wonderful things for people and then she hides the fact for all sort of noble reasons, even if it's to the detriment of her own well-being." She leaned over and gave Arizona a half hug before straighten up. She looked over at her husband.

"Mark will explain. I am still a little steamed at you but the fact is, Callie was transformed when you came into her life. Please let me know if there's anything Mark and I can do to try and help you both work this out. Ok?"

Mystified, Arizona nodded and watched Nicole leave the room quietly.

"Is Callie sick? Is that what this is about?" Arizona wasn't certain she was going to keep the little dinner she had eaten down, if Callie was hurt somewhere.

Mark sighed, scrabbled his hands through his hair and stood up.

"No, no. It's not that, she's not unwell."

"Then, what the fuck…" Arizona was feeling dizzy and faint and frankly wasn't sure how much more she could handle.

"So, the reason Callie's isn't here in New York is that she was removed as the CEO of CalTech." Mark said briskly. He then poured Arizona a sizeable measure of scotch.

"I don't understand. I thought that CalTech was Callie's company, how is that possible?" She hesitated and then pushed the tumbler of alcohol away.

"She didn't have a controlling share of the votes anymore and she came up against some people who wanted her out."

"I don't understand," Arizona repeated dumbly. "Who wanted her out … why?" Before he could respond, Arizona felt her heart lunch violently.

"Was this Claude Patterson? Did he force Callie out because she wouldn't endorse CalTech buying me out … or whatever?"

Mark threw his drink back and grimaced slightly as the drink burnt its way down.

"Sure. Well, yes and no."

Arizona now reached for her drink and took a healthy swallow. If Callie had lost her company because of her …. she wasn't sure how she was going to deal with that.

"Mark, please stop … whatever it is you're doing and please, please just tell me what's happened."

Mark stared at her for a minute.

"Is this what Nicole was talking about? She clearly thinks it's something I need to know. What did Callie do to … to protect me?"

"Callie sold a sizeable chunk of her stake in CalTech to finance her purchase of Dibble and Grubb, you remember them, the bank that prematurely foreclosed on your home in Hampstead?"

Arizona's mouth dropped open. How was it even possible that she hadn't known this massive detail?

"She hadn't been able to restore the same level of control over the board and Claude Patterson and some of his cronies formed an alliance to force her out. I think buying RMB might have been a red herring or maybe it was an idea that they planned to use but either way, Callie is no longer the CEO. She decided to take an extended sabbatical and that's all there really is to say."

Arizona carefully placed the heavy tumbler on the coffee table, abstractly aware that she was scared she was going to drop the glass.

"When did this all happen? After Geneva?" If it were possible, Arizona felt even worse about how she had treated Callie.

"Nope, this happened about a month before the IPO. Just about the time you were both getting into it over the journal's and Margaret."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Arizona's words were faint, nausea still roiling through her.

Mark shrugged, pouring himself another drink. "I guess she figured you had enough on your plate." He looked over at her as he sipped his drink. "She was right, you did have too much going on at the time." He rubbed his hand over is beard and nodded slowly to himself. "She should have told you at some point afterwards but by then …"

"By then, I'd stopped taking her calls and told her that I'd contact her when I was ready." Arizona supplied softly. The threat and fear of vomiting all over Nicole's incredible decor had receded but she was now left with a hollowness that belied any pain she had ever felt before.

Mark cleared his throat, presumably to avoid actually responding.

"Mark, what can I do?" She had never, ever felt so utterly impotent in her life. Her question was ludicrous and she knew it.

He performed his usual gesture of shrugging his shoulders.

"Each time I pick up the phone to call her, I'm completely stymied, I don't know what to say that would make sense of how I've behaved…" She sank back in her seat, lacking the strength to hold herself up. Her head was swimming and her vision blurred with tears.

"Now this? I'm the cause of her losing her company?" She looked up at him, trying to hold back her emotions. "Mark, how can I ever make it up to her? How can I ever ask her to forgive me …."

"Listen, you didn't cause her to lose the company." He carried on, forestalling the protest she was about to make. "Callie knew what she was doing when she sold those shares, she knew the risks and she made the decision to sell them anyway …"

"For me, Mark, she sold those shares for me." Arizona could feel a sharp pain behind her eyes, her head was throbbing in tandem with her heart.

"You've had a shock and despite everything, I think maybe you should have a bit of time to get over whatever guilt you might be feeling." She opened her mouth to respond and he put up his hand. "Arizona, this is just my 2 cents worth, right. What do I know about relationships? I was a mess until Nicci set me straight. But, I just think that you guys could be good together, really great together if you put in a bit of work and really try that communication thing everyone's talking about." He gave her a small smile, no doubt trying to lighten the mood.

"I have broken her heart and my own." Arizona spoke the words softly, almost to herself, the enormity of her actions feeling like a crushing weight sat squarely on her chest, in her heart. "I have cost her … her livelihood, the thing that she built from the ground up …"

"Don't be melodramatic, Arizona. She's not destitute and she knew the potential consequences when she brought out Dibble and Grubb." Mark came back instantly. But it didn't make Arizona feel any better.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" Her voice was small and quiet.

"I don't even think it's a question. I think she's probably just giving you the time and space you asked for, you know, honouring your decisions or whatever and then, maybe when you get over yourself and let her know you want to be with her, she'll come back." He gave a her a smile.

"You don't know if she'll be back and you don't know that she'll want me either way."

He gave her a small smile and for the first time, it occurred to Arizona how Callie's disappearance must have impacted on him. She could see in his eyes how much he missed his friend.

"She's always come back in the past. I guess We can just hope that she thinks there's a reason to come back this time, right?"

###

A few hours later, in the dead of the night, Arizona wrapped herself in a warm, fleece blanket and stood out on the deck that looked out onto Mark and Nicole's expansive back yard.

There had been snow flurries earlier and there was a threat of a heavier fall at some point but now everything looked like it had been dusted with powered sugar. The unceasing wail of sirens in the distance was barely discernible and couldn't detract from the beauty of the night. Arizona looked up at the sky, the forecast for heavy snow had to be wrong because there was not a cloud to be seen, the stars twinkling faintly in a plush, velvety blackness and the waxing moon, probably only a day or two away from being full, shone down with a fierce brightness, creating a monochrome palate of almost unbearable light and unfathomable shade. It should have been eery, the stillness and the silence but as Arizona stared up at the moon, she recalled the first time she'd been able to tell Callie of her love.

It felt like it happened a lifetime ago, to a different person. The fact was, Arizona was a different person from the one who had been finally wiling to speak openly of her love. Now she was a woman alone, embittered, embattled and hurt. She remembered how long it had taken her to acknowledge what she felt for Callie. As Arizona stood, shivering a little in the winter chill, a tiny sliver of warmth and hope seeped into her; perhaps she was always destined to arrive at the right conclusions late, to wreak havoc and then try to repair the damage caused in her wake. Arizona knew she was punch-drunk with exhaustion and grief, which was probably making her fanciful but the moon spoke to her soul.

Arizona knew that she could be obstinate to the point ridiculousness but the chasm within her unambiguously brought home the fact that she wasn't doing ok without Callie. Seeing her mother's pain and being impotent in the face of her father's illness made her isolation and loneliness all the more real. She knew that it might take time, she knew that she had hurt Callie, she knew, absolutely, that she had to find a way to communicate to Callie how she felt, not just of her love but of her pain. Of why she had felt so betrayed by Callie going to Margaret Christiansen. Arizona felt her throat close and a resolve harden within her as she swallowed her tears down.

Somehow, she would make Callie understand that she loved her, she would show her, somehow, some way. She would find a way of asking for forgiveness and perhaps, if the stars aligned and all the gods, both great and small smiled down on them, they could start again.

#

Callie sifted through the reading material that she had yet to touch and sighed loudly. She didn't want to interrogate why she thought that this was a good idea but at this minute she was heartily regretting her decision.

"I can hear you sighing and fussing all the way over here you know." Aria's voice sounded through one of the open tabs on her laptop, but Callie had so many windows and apps open she couldn't actually see her sister. She was sitting in the lounge of her apartment on Princelet Street, trying to work out if she had the correct reading list for the courses she'd signed up for.

"Uhuh" Callie replied as she sorted out a folder and a sheaf of papers.

"You hated the sciences in high school and ran a mile from them in college, why would you think getting a degree in …. what was it, biomedical developmental neuroscience, why'd you think that was a good idea?" She paraphrased the question that had been running through Callie's mind.

Callie levelled a glare at her laptop.

"It's not a degree and it's not biomedical developmental neuroscience. I'm not even sure that's a real thing." She sighed again, a little less dramatically and closed the various apps and windows until she could see her sister, in costume on some film set, somewhere, getting her hair and make up done.

"It's just a few classes in pharmacology and neuroscience, that's all." Callie mumbled, looking down at her fingers. She knew what was coming next and opened her mouth to forestall her sister's objections.

"Aria, I just need to keep busy for a while, that's all. I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm …. re-grouping" Callie knew that it wasn't entirely clear if she was trying to convince herself or Aria.

"Baby, you don't look fine, you look …." Callie could see Aria chewing her words carefully. " … you look tired and maybe if you came and stayed with me for a while you could re-group with people who love and care about you rather than in London where it's always cold and raining. And where you're on your own. That's all I'm going to say." Aria finished quickly as she could see the expression on Callie's face. "And if you need to keep busy, why aren't you working with your attorney's to get back control of CalTech." Aria clearly had a lot to say but the message was clear. Of all the things that Callie could be doing right now, learning about pharmacology and other disciplines closely related to Arizona's work in Arizona's university was probably the one thing that made the least sense.

"Aria, please don't make me feel bad about this. I … I just want to do something that might help … in the long run …" She closed her eyes at her sister's expression. "I know it doesn't make sense. I know that but it's what I want to do right now. It's the only plan I have."

"OK, sweetie, it's fine. I'm sorry I'm bugging you about it. I just want you to be happy …. and right now, you're not."

Callie didn't bother to deny the comment.

"Do you know where she is, when's she coming back?"

Callie shook her head. "She's probably still in Geneva keeping an eye on her labs out there or something." She shrugged and then swallowed a groan, her shoulders feeling heavy and stiff. She had spent longer and gone harder than was sensible at the gym a few days ago and now she was paying for it. Callie was filling her time up with activity, spending every waking minute engaged in some form of task or event, anything to keep her depression at bay.

It would have been the easiest thing in the world to have spoken with Martha or Robbie to try and find out when Arizona was going to return to London to resume her teaching post or come back to her offices but she had made the decision not to try and seek her out.

"I don't know what I'm doing, ok? And I know it doesn't make sense because she didn't give me anything to hope for but it's all I have, Aria. Hope that she'll forgive me. Hope that she'll take me back is what's keeping me going right now."

"You know that you didn't really do anything wrong, right Callie?" Aria spoke gently. They'd already fought about this once or twice before.

Callie figured that the only sensible thing she had done in the last couple of months was to spend quality time speaking with Nerissa Huxtable.

"It's not that straightforward, Aria and the bottom line is that no matter what my intentions might have been, it wasn't my decision to make. I think that's what enraged her more than anything else." Callie understood Arizona's objections to a point. And maybe, if she had to do it all over again, she would probably do things differently. Maybe. She didn't know. Maybe she could have tried harder to understand Arizona's position or maybe she should have just let the time run out and let the IPO be delayed. It wouldn't have been as bad as Arizona was convinced …. Callie physically shook her head to dispel her rambling thoughts. It didn't matter anymore. The IPO had gone through, RMB had successfully floated on the stock exchange and, last she'd heard, the compound was performing exactly as Arizona had anticipated.

"It's not that straight forward, Aria," Callie repeated quietly. "And I should have let Arizona make the decision."

"OK, I don't understand but I accept how you feel." Aria spoke softly to her and Callie felt a lump in her throat at the love in her sister's eyes. After extracting a promise that Callie would contact her in a few days, Aria signed off and Callie stared sightlessly at her assignments for the week.

Perhaps attending classes at Arizona's university was both futile and problematic. It was Arizona's turf after all but she wasn't there and the Dean had told her, unprompted, that he was keeping Arizona's spot but he wasn't expecting her back this term. It meant that Callie could lurk around Arizona's old haunts without it feeling like she was actually creeping about Arizona.

For the first time, in forever, Callie felt lonely.

She knew she wasn't alone, that people who loved her were there for her. Both Mark and Nicole had offered her a floor to herself in their Brooklyn apartment just so she had people around her. Aria was filming in Toronto but had offered to have Callie come hang out with her. Both Steph and Martha had been in touch to invite her come stay with their families. Callie wondered exactly how distraught she must have looked for shy, bumbling Robbie to invite her to watch a rugby match. She was dimly aware of a gratitude for the people in her life but the truth was that the gaping wound within her wouldn't heal without Arizona. Callie yearned to go to Arizona and plead her case, beg for their relationship but after their last interaction, she knew that she had to let Arizona make the decision herself. She had to want this relationship as well. There was a fine line between fighting for them and actually harassing Arizona and Callie never wanted to fall into that category. She didn't want to become that sad, desperate stalking ex-girlfriend, even though hanging about Arizona's work place and university put her very close to stalker territory.

Maybe should just go home, back to New York, cut her losses and … and. Callie's mind baulked at the thought of giving up. Arizona wouldn't let her pride and stubbornness and hurt blind her completely. Callie refused to believe that Arizona would let what they had to just simply die. She would eventually forgive Callie and come seek her out. Callie had nothing to believe in, but she would believe that.

Her apartment in Princelet Street felt every bit as sterile and barren as Arizona had always teased her about it. There was no prospect of going to Flask Drive, even though she still had the keys. Callie doubted that Arizona's snarky housekeeper would let her in even she had decided to go there.

A call came through on the her phone and Callie felt her heart leap for a split second as it rang. Her soul sank back into familiar resignation as she saw that it wasn't Arizona calling her. She debated letting the call go through to her voice mail and then another, unwelcome thought popped into her head. Her personal attorney never called out of the blue. Bailey might be calling her because something was wrong with Arizona …. or her parents. She snatched up the phone, clumsily thumbing at the green answer button.

"Hello?"

"Hey Callie, you good?" Desiree Bailey's brisk, no-nonsense voice came through. "You got 5 minutes? I want to give you an update," she carried on without waiting for a reply. Bailey didn't really do friendly chats, at least not without a dirty martini in one hand and a grilled halloumi stick in the other and certainly not in the middle of the working day.

"What's wrong? Are my parents ok?" Callie couldn't work out when she started to panic at every little thing but her anxiety was becoming a problem. Something else to unpick with Nerissa.

"Nothing is wrong, Callie. I wanted to tell you about that missing persons job you told me about."

"Huh?" Callie asked, inelegantly. "Missing person?" she could hear Bailey tapping on a keyboard.

"Timothy Edward Robbins, DOB 12th December 1981, US Marines, Unconditional discharge with honours …? Coming back to you now?" Bailey recited, no trace of impatience in her voice. "Anyway, we found him. What do you want me to do with this information?"

"Huh?" Callie repeated. Her mind had gone blank.

"We found your missing person. He's your partner's brother, right?"

"He's alive?" she asked, her voice faint.

"Yep. Alive and well. Living just outside of Boston."

"He's alive?" Callie repeated.

"Yes, Callie. He's alive." Bailey responded politely.

"You're sure it's him?"

There was a pause at the other end, the tapping on the keyboard stopped.

The silence lengthened.

"Yes, Callie. We are certain that the person we found is the person you asked us to find. What would like to do with this information?" Desiree's gentle Texan drawl became ever so slightly clipped and Callie had to remind herself that she was technically Bailey's boss. Well, her client. Same thing.

"It's not that I thought you'd made a mistake, I know you'd never call me if you weren't sure…. I'm just shocked, I guess." Boss or no, Callie thought it prudent to apologise or at least explain. She and Desiree Bailey had been at college and done post-grad together and Callie had witnessed the diminutive woman eviscerate people twice her size. She could be particularly viscous in the courtroom and Callie had no intention incurring any part of that wrath.

"Everything has been pretty passive until this point, Callie. Though some contact was made to ensure his identity." Desiree's tone hadn't changed but her vowels had lengthened again. "We can be more explicit with him to confirm if you want," she offered.

"From what Arizona told me, I thought he was probably dead." Callie murmured, her eyes staring out at nothing. She had no idea what to do with this information. "I mean, I'm sure her father had been moving towards having him legally declared dead when we first met."

"So, this is good news?" Desiree asked.

"Good question." Callie literally scratched her head, her finger tips massaging her scalp, trying to ease the pressure that had suddenly built up.

"OK. What I will do Callie, is send over all the information my people have gathered. When you know what you want to do, you know how to contact me. Sound like a plan?" Desiree Bailey was brisk and to the point. Equivocating wasn't in her make up.

"Thanks, Bailey. I owe you one." Callie said, a little distracted. She had no real idea what she wanted to do with this bombshell … ticking time bomb, same difference.

Did he want to be found? Should she let Arizona know where he was? Was this just another example of her having the saviour complex that Arizona accused her of?

"Cal, you doing ok, hon?" Desiree asked, her voice uncharacteristically gentle. They hadn't spoken since Bailey had flown to London to deal with Margaret Christensen.

"Hmm?" Callie wasn't sure she was up to another conversation about the state of her heart. Wait, how did Bailey know …

"Your in-house counsel approached me for a discreet consult. He wanted to be ready for when you decide to take this Claude Patterson joker to the knackers yard." Desiree added before Callie could gather her wits to reply.

"Oh. That."

"Yes, that." Desiree agreed, her voice dry. "Callie why, in the name of all that is good and holy, did you not call me the minute this nonsense went down?" The gentleness seeped away as the razor-sharp and ferocious attorney within her took over from the sympathetic friend. "Even if they had a quorum there are at least half a dozen statutes and regulations that we could have imposed to halt all this foolishness. You have worked far too long and far too hard to let that snivelling, puffed up little mama's boy waltz in and …."

"Right now, I don't care." Callie interrupted Desiree's diatribe. It was strange but it was true. Callie din't care about CalTech right now.

"What do you mean you, you don't care? There are people who rely on you for their livelihoods and you know this, Callie. If you let Patterson run your company into the ground, what happens to your employees, the subsidiaries and partners who depend on you?"

"Trying not to pull any punches, huh?" Callie said. Her attempt at humour landed short of the mark.

"Seriously, Torres, what's going on with you?" Callie could hear the bafflement in her friend's voice. She tried not to wince at the disappointment.

"OK, it's not that I don't care, exactly. I just … I just have some other things my plate right now and I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with Patterson right now. Mark's out there keeping an eye on things and making sure that the little twerp doesn't sell the family silver." She shrugged, more to herself than anything. "It's the best I can do right now."

Desiree was silent for a moment. This wasn't usual for her so Callie waited it out.

"Honey, are you … are you sick?" The gentleness was back and this time with little fear.

"Desiree, it's not that. I'm not sick… Heartsick, maybe." Callie laughed at that. It was a hollow, bitter sound and she tried to cover it with a cough. "Arizona and I are …. having some trouble. We're in some trouble and I need to focus on making that right because nothing else has much meaning if she's not part of my life." The words ran away from her, unexpectedly candid but utterly true. The brightness of Arizona essence was something intangible that Callie didn't realise she needed to breathe, to exist until she extinguished its light.

"Oh sweetness, I'm so sorry. Tell me what I can do to help y'all out," Desiree's country roots came out as she expressed her sympathy.

"You want some company? I can fly out to be with you by the mornin'. You want to find Arizona and talk some sense into that pretty, lil head of hers? I can do that too."

Despite the heaviness that was perpetually settled within her, a small chuckle came out of Callie's mouth at Desiree's offers. She had no doubt that she meant every word.

"Thank you, Desiree. You're a real friend."

"Is this Timothy Edwards Robbins going to help you or hinder you and your relationship with Arizona?" Desiree brushed the compliment aside as was her wont and asked the 64 million dollar question. "Because he can stay unfound if that's what you want, Callie"

Callie stared at Hugo, hanging in its pride of place and tried to understand the enormity of the question. She didn't have to ponder for long.

"I couldn't do that to her, Desiree. I don't know that I want to be the one to tell her that her brother is alive and well, but I'm trying to work my way backing her affections. Concealing information like this really won't do me any favours."

"Good call." Desiree replied. "Listen, just read the stuff I've sent, if you want or don't. I can have my people reach out to Arizona and let her know where her brother is or was can get word to him directly to make contact with his family."

"Sure, why not? It's a good idea. I mean, what have I got to lose?" She laughed, the sound hollow.

#

"You are making this way too complicated. None of this is necessary."

"Mark, that doesn't answer my question." Arizona kept her voice quiet as she paced the halls of her parent's home. Her mother was finally getting some rest

Arizona had spent the week since she'd left Manhattan thinking of how she could possibly even begin to repair her relationship with Callie and had called Mark to talk it through with him.

"I'm being serious, Arizona. Callie doesn't need all this …. bells and whistles and stuff …."

"She might not need them, but she deserves them, Mark," Arizona interrupted. "And an apology does not count as bells and whistles."

"So just apologise. Call her up and apologise, I guarantee she will take you back with open arms."

"How do you know that?" she pounced on his words, her heart sinking. "You've spoken with her already, haven't you?"

"Arizona, take a breath and calm down," Mark instructed, his words soft. "I haven't spoken to Callie in weeks and I haven't told her that you came here looking for her. OK?"

Arizona took a slow breath in and let it out with a whoosh.

"I'm … a mess right now, Mark. I know it, I'm trying to get myself together but I need to try and do things right for Callie. I know I love her dearly, I know that I hurt her …." Arizona's voice cracked and she took another breath to compose herself. "I know I hurt her badly and I want to ask for her forgiveness, I want to somehow show her that … that I'm sorry and that I truly love her …" Her words died away. Maybe she was making things more complicated than they needed to be.

"I don't want Callie to think that it's guilt driving me back to her … I mean, I do feel incredibly guilty but that's not why I want her back in my life and if she knows that I know about CalTech, she might always wonder."

"Christ, Arizona, she is not going to think that. Why the hell would she?" Mark's exasperation rang very clearly over the phone. She didn't need to see his face to picture him scoffing and rolling his eyes into the back his head. "And it wasn't due to anything you did that led to the shitshow at CalTech, you were like, the red herring or the bait, you know, the misdirection or something."

"I will tell her that I know about the takeover just … not immediately." She hurried on, forestalling his next question. "I'm worried that … well, she might think I want her back because I pity her."

"Oh my sweet baby Jesus! Are you kidding me? Arizona what the hell is going on?" Mark's outburst was so loud, she had to move the phone away from her ear.

"Arizona, seriously, talk to me."

"I'm scared and I'm spiralling," Arizona mumbled.

"But why? You know she loves you."

Arizona couldn't articulate the swirling, conflicted and painful emotions within her. It was as if everything in her, her fragile and yet stubborn heart, the ephemeral thing that was her soul, were all being held in an ever-tightening vice and every decision she took had the potential to be the wrong one. Arizona felt a deep and silent shame, something she couldn't share with Mark or even her mother and certainly not Callie. She was scared that she was fickle and flighty and that her love was so fragile that the smallest hiccup would shatter it forever.

"I want to say I'm sorry. I want to tell her this and … and then once I know that she knows how sorry I am, then it will make sense for me to see her, maybe and … and If she's willing to see me, it will mean that we have a better chance to work towards where we were or … or …"

"I'd kind of forgotten that you're a scientist," Mark mused interrupting her incoherent ramble. "You're treating this like an experiment, right? You take an action, observe the results and then take the next action, see how that plays out … I get it. I suppose it makes sense for you."

It wasn't an unequivocal stamp of approval but that wasn't what Arizona was looking for here. She was also mildly mortified by the possibly accuracy of his analysis. It hadn't even occurred to her that she was applying a tried and trusted methodology to her approach to gaining Callie's forgiveness and winning her back.

"It's really not an experiment, Mark. That sounds like I'm trivialising this, I'm not …. I just don't know what else to do."

"The easiest thing you can do is pick up the phone and call her," Mark said, his words both blunt but also kind. "If you can't do that, then, please, do something. You're both in limbo and you're both hurting and its not necessary. Do whatever you think you need to do, just do it fast."

#

Courage can sometimes be an abstract concept in our everyday lives.

I don't think I've ever sat myself down and given any thought to whether I was a courageous person or not. I know that Tim was courageous but that's another story.

I guess, if I was really pinned down, really asked to think about it, I'd probably say that I had some courage in me. It's like most people believe that they are good, regardless of any deeds or misdeeds they've done to prove otherwise.

It's funny but now, right now I've come to understand that not only am I not courageous, I am actually a coward.

I've found a streak of cowardice running through me and it makes me ashamed of myself.

Calliope, I'm sorry.

I am so very sorry for how I've acted these last few months.

I'm sorry for treating you so badly in Geneva.

I'm sorry for accusing you of having a saviour complex and of trying to control me.

I am so sorry for not being open about my relationship with Peggy.

Arizona stopped the untidy scrawl of words on the page and drew a breath, and then another, calming herself. She flexed her fingers, they were gripping the pen so tightly she had a cramp and stared up at the ceiling, wondering the sense of writing this down. Arizona had never been one for journalling or letter-writing but she might just send this note to Callie, warts and all.

If I had the least bit of backbone, I would be standing in front of you, pleading my case and asking for your forgiveness.

But I'm scared, Callie.

I've messed up so badly that I don't know how to make amends.

I know you'll forgive me …. that sounds so presumptuous.

I …I hope that you'll forgive me, I think that you will, even though I don't deserve it. And maybe that's the dilemma here. Knowing that I don't deserve you, your forgiveness ….. your love but wanting it. So very desperately wanting your love.

Needing it.

I have no one to blame but myself.

I know that and Callie, I don't want to come across like some kind of martyr, flagellating myself.

This is me, recognising what I've done but knowing there's nothing I can do to make amends.

I'm so sorry and I will somehow, find the courage to say this to your face.

I need help and I will put in the work to understand why I did this but I wanted you to know that … that I love you and that I'm sorry.

These last few months have been a hell of my own making and I was too stubborn and filled with blind anger to realise that without you, all the success in the world is meaningless.

I love you, Callie.

If you forgive me, I will never again give you a reason to doubt it.

Arizona wracked her brain to remember the quote about the best laid plans of mice and men. She knew it would take less than a minute to whip out her phone and search the internet but she couldn't bothered. It was a couple of days since she'd last spoken to Mark and promised herself that she would just email or phone Callie to apologise. But she hadn't done anything more that write a rambling, mealy-mouthed apology and the overwhelming weight of disappointment in herself and inadequacy felt like it was smothering her.

Arizona understood, at least in some part of her brain, that right now, as much as she wanted to be with Callie, it wasn't the right time. Her parents, her mother needed her and leaving to repair her relationship with Callie would be selfish. In the back of her mind, however, Arizona knew that Callie would want to be with her at this difficult time, that she would want to comfort and support Arizona, despite the current uncertainties with their relationship.

In the frenetic weeks since her father's collapse, Arizona had spent most hours at the hospital, with her mother or with the consultants and specialists. She had helped convert the downstairs study to a bedroom for her father as he would not be able to manage the stairs once he was well enough to return home. But now the number of little niggling signs of something being very discordant in her parent's marriage became glaringly obvious. The fact her mother appeared to have moved into the guest bedroom was a clue that hadn't really sunk in until a few days ago, when she had been moving some of her father's clothes downstairs. That her mother had insisted on a live-in nurse to help with all of her father care, however, had really given her pause. Barbara Robbins was loving, caring, compassionate and would do anything for those she loved. As difficult as Arizona knew her father to be, it stopped her in her tracks that something was so badly wrong with her parents that her mother wasn't able or willing to support her husband of over 40 years through what must be one of the hardest things he had ever experienced.

Belatedly, Arizona recalled the conversation she'd had with her mother when she first arrived from Geneva and learnt that her parents were on the verge of a divorce.

Though now conscious, her father hadn't regained his speech and was still very poorly and because it really wasn't something she could to raise with him right now, Arizona had spent her time at the hospital reading to him and chatting about sports and a hundred other inane things, all the while her brain was whirling madly from Callie to the state of her parent's marriage and his health and back again. She'd tentatively tried to broach the subject a couple of times and her mother had prevaricated. But now she really was determined to get to the bottom of things.

Her parents had bought this house long after she had left home and she had only visited every couple of years for a stilted Thanksgiving or landmark birthday. Slowly walking down the hall to the kitchen, Arizona noted that some of her favourite pictures of the family were no longer hanging on the walls and something lodged in her throat. An unnamed fear seemed to rise up within her as she sought her mother out.

"Ma?" Arizona spoke softly, despite the emotion welling up inside her, part sadness, part anger, she didn't want to disturb the peace of the kitchen, where she found her mother. She was staring out onto the manicured acre of land that the house was built upon.

Barbara turned towards her and smiled and Arizona dropped her gaze for a moment, unwilling to look into the face of her mother. There was pain etched into the lines of her face, lines that were new, darkened shadows under eyes, hollows that spoke of more than the last few month. Arizona looked back at her mother's face and allowed herself to feel the guilt and shame that she deserved to feel. She should have been more present.

"Darling?" Barbara smiled gently at her.

"What else did you want to tell me about Dad?" Arizona asked carefully, her voice soft. It wasn't an accusation but it wasn't really a question either. Barbara stared back at her for a moment and then took in a deep breath, an indecipherable expression crossing her face.

"I know I should have told you, earlier, but you had so much going on and … and it was too hard to try and explain."

Arizona moistened her lips and then moved around the kitchen island to take her mother into her arms and hug her. Barbara wasn't hugely tactile but she didn't shun contact and never with her children and she held Arizona close to her, her arms wrapped tightly. She stroked Arizona's back and ran her hands over her hair and Arizona felt both laughter and tears come close to the surface. Her mother was comforting her rather than the other way round. She pulled back a little to stare into her mother's face.

"Could you explain now? Please?"

Barbara released Arizona and moved to take a seat. She was nodding her head slowly and yet Arizona could see the indecision written all over her mother's face. She sat with her fingers clasped and took another deep breath. Her eyes, the same vibrant blue that both she and Tim shared stared back at her, first with determination and then Arizona saw the sorrow flood them and she rushed over to take her mother's hands in her own.

"Ma, what is it?"

In her heart Arizona began to recognise that what her mother was about to share was serious, something profound, something possibly life-changing. A common-place betrayal of spousal infidelity or financial ruin couldn't, wouldn't engender such a depth of emotion from her normally unflappable mother.

"Your father lied to me, lied to us for the last 8 years. He always told me that he'd received incontrovertible proof that Timmy had died. It wasn't true." Barbara drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "It wasn't true. He knew that Tim might …. Timmy might still be alive but he couldn't forgive him for … for his discharge from the Marines … for not being able to overcome his addiction. So he decided to wipe his hands of our son."

Arizona was frozen. She felt literally unable to move. All her limbs felt as if they were encased in cement and there was a faint buzzing in her ears. Her mind was a blank and her mother's words seem to reach her through a thick fog. She blinked for a second and a sound escaped her lips.

"I don't understand … I don't understand what you've just said, Ma," her voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. She realised that she was holding her mother's slender hands so tightly that she must be hurting her and loosened her grip. "Ma, what … what do you mean?" The words made no sense and she leaned closer to her mother, the familiar scent of lilac soothing Arizona a little.

"Arizona, my love, I am so sorry to tell you this but your father lied about Timmy. Your father told me that he was certain that Timmy had passed away about 8 years ago. He told me that he used some of his contacts at the Pentagon to trace him but that the information available was classified." Barbara jumped to her feet and walked around the kitchen, her feet moving restlessly across the floor. Her voice rose with a fury that Arizona had never seen from her mother before.

"It doesn't make sense …. I didn't make sense at the time and I don't know why I accepted your father's word but …" She turned towards Arizona and there was an entreaty in her gaze as she looked at her daughter. "I had no reason to doubt your father, why would he lie about something like this …. and Timmy did work on black ops and it wasn't impossible that he might have died during some classified mission …." Barbara trailed off, the fury draining from her as suddenly as it had arisen. She walked back and took her seat beside Arizona.

"It wasn't inconceivable that Timmy had died exactly as you father described, but the lack of official recognition, not even a boiler plate letter from the State Department … it always made me wonder. That's why I hired another private investigator."

Arizona had her hands clasped over her mouth and tears had sprung to her eyes. She understood the words her mother had said but they still made very little sense to her.

"Is Timmy still alive?" she asked finally. Those were the only words she could manage and the answer was the only thing that really mattered.

Barbara stroked her hand through Arizona's hair, examining her face closely. She gently ran her thumb under her daughter's eye, catching the tear as it ran down her face.

"I don't know, my love," she said. "I bumped into one of your father's old buddies. Someone your father claimed had given him information on Timmy and I thanked I'm for his help … he didn't know what I was talking about and so I confronted your father about it."

Arizona scrubbed her hands across her face. The news remained incomprehensible to her. "Ma, when did this happen? Why didn't you tell me? … I could have … done something, been here for you."

"You remember that symposium that I told you about? A few months ago in DC? I bumped into General Whittaker, he was your father's supposed contact at the Pentagon, who'd been helping him on the quiet."

"A few months ago?" Arizona repeated. She was filled with a slew of emotions that she really didn't know how to contain and the tears began to spill in earnest. "Ma, you should have told me …"

Barbara took her into her arms.

"I know and I'm sorry. I had planned on telling you once things had calmed down with the drug but that became so protracted and then you stopped talking to Callie and then your father had his heart attack," Arizona felt her mother shrug. "There was no right time to break this kind of news to you."

Arizona pulled away, rubbing her face, scrubbing away her tears.

"How could Daddy do this to us?" There was a rage building within her at this betrayal but the sorrow in her mother's face doused it.

"What hurts me the most is that your brother may be alive out there in the world, thinking that we abandoned him when he needed us the most."

#

"Ma'am, the handicapped restroom is just across the way, if there's a queue building up outside the women's restroom. It'll be no problem if you'd … umm rather not wait." The barista smiled at her kindly, though his eyes crinkled with amusement.

Callie felt the flush of colour slowly rise up to the roots of her hair as she met the gaze of the person speaking to her. She belated realised that she had been doing her nervous dance, which looked just about the same as her pee dance.

"I … ummm …. I …. I …umm …'k, thanks," she mumbled incoherently and scuttled off in the direction he'd pointed.

Callie stood in front of the mirror and stared at herself, willing her heart rate to slow down just a damn bit. She washed her hands, for something to do and tried to give herself another pep talk.

She had made it all the way to the counter this time. All she had to do was say … something. Anything.

Gathering her tattered courage, Callie made her way out of the restroom and cautiously looked around. The buxom, vivacious woman with the mass of jet black curls who'd served Callie every time she had visited the quaint, independent coffee shop was back behind the counter. The tall, blond guy with the achingly familiar blue eyes, who had just directed her to the restroom was now nowhere to be seen.

"Hey there, can I get you a refill?" the woman asked Callie with a flash of a smile.

"Umm sure. Thank you."

Callie had been coming to the little coffee shop everyday for the last 5 days trying to work up the courage to speak with one Major Timothy Daniel Robbins. Her panicked and incomprehensible mumble just now was the closest she'd got and that was without exactly making a good impression of herself. Callie had a sort of routine where she would come and sit for exactly one hour and scroll through pages on her iPad as she drank several cups of a rather nice coffee blend and ate a muffin or brownie. She still didn't have a clear idea in her head of what she wanted to do. She had no way of knowing whether Tim even wanted to be reunited with his family and she was uncomfortably aware that her being here was a massive invasion of his privacy. Callie didn't know if Arizona, should she ever get her head out of her ass and speak to Callie again, would even welcome her intervention or consider it another example of what she described as Callie's saviour complex.

The fact was, she had this information about Tim and she couldn't just ignore it.

"Are you a writer?" The question came out of the blue as the woman came over to Callie's table with a fresh cup of coffee.

"A writer? …. umm no. I'm not a writer." Callie replied slowly. Perhaps she should have thought up some sort of cover story but the thought never crossed her mind.

"Oh," The woman, who's name-tag read Yasmina, pouted for a moment before the habitual wide smile re-appeared over her features.

"Aww, shoot. Looks like I've just lost a bet. You've been coming in here for a few days now and Tim and I couldn't help but notice you." She leaned in and lowered her voice a little. "You don't exactly fit our regular clientele. Apart from me, that is." Her smile was a little mischievous but kind. Lowell Plains was a mid-sized town, not more than a few hours outside Boston and though technically big enough to be a small city, it had the gentle, slow-moving, relaxed vibe of a much smaller, almost, rural town. Callie had noticed that there didn't seem to be a whole lot a diversity in the area and apart from the students attending the Liberal Arts college in the centre of town, most residents seemed to the older, bingo and Sunday night college football brigade. The coffeeshop that Tim worked sold imported blends of coffee, artisanal baked goods and played World Music and jazz softly in the background. For all that, Callie had also noticed that the customers, not just the college kids but clearly locals, dropped by regularly and always seemed to share friendly banter with whomever was serving them, usually Tim or Yasmina.

"It's always exciting when someone new visits us, I was sure you were a writer," Yasmina confided as she wiped Callie's table down.

"I ummm …. I was looking for …. I came to …." Callie trailed off and she looked around her, desperately trying to say something at least partway sensible. All her skills were failing right now.

Yasmina's face fell at Callie's discomfort, her open friendly smile crumpled.

"Dang, I'm sorry, hon. I didn't mean to put you on the spot or embarrass you, I was just trying to be sociable. Look, you enjoy your coffee and I'll get out of your hair."

Before Callie could come up with anything, Yasmina had fairly skipped away, taking herself back behind the beautifully polished oak counter and wiping it down, clearly for something to do with her hands.

Sighing to herself, Callie again screwed up her courage and retraced her steps back to the counter.

"Hi, I'm Callie and I'm …. kind of just passing through. I wasn't … embarrassed by your questions …. it's just a little complicated, I guess." Callie fixed a grin on her face and hoped it didn't look as rigid as it felt.

Yasmina's face brightened at Callie's approach and she waved her hands a little at Callie's introduction, as if warding off her words.

"It's lovely to meet you, Callie." She smiled and pointed to her name-tag, "I'm Yasmina and I'm so nosy, I'm sorry. You really don't need to explain, I shouldn't have asked …"

"No, it's fine," Callie lied and looked around again, shifting from one foot to the other, itching to leave before Tim showed up and desperate for him to return. She stilled when she realised that she was doing her pee dance again.

"To be honest, I'm a wannabe writer and this place can be great for character spotting. I'm always making up stories about people who come in here and sometimes, I like to ask what the real story is." Yasmina gave Callie a wide but depreciating smile. "Seeing the same 300 faces all year round means that I get super-excited when someone new walks in."

"That makes sense," Callie agreed slowly. She'd come a decision and took a deep breath.

"The other guy that works here, tall, blond? Tim? Is he still here, I'd …. I'd like to speak with him, if I may." Callie could feel her legs begin to shake.

"Tim? Sure. I think he's in the stockroom." Without taking her eyes off Callie, Yasmin half turned her head and yelled through an open door in the back.

"Tim, lady here wants to speak with you."

A muffled response came back but Callie can't decipher the words. Her head seemed like it was filled with cottonwool.

"Lady here wants to speak with you and it's not a complaint. Get up here."

Yasmina was still staring at Callie, "We're joint partners every step of the way, except when he thinks there's a complaint and then, voila, suddenly I'm the boss."

Callie pulled a bar stool out and almost fell over in her haste to sit before she collapsed. She could feel the sweat bead her forehead and the clamminess of her palms. She reached for some napkins to dry them and knocked over a leaflet display advertising a local musical. Her hands were visibly shaking as she straightened the display and then feeling Yasmin's eyes following her actions closely, decided to simply grip them together, out of sight.

"Honey …. Callie, are you ok? Can I get you something?" Yasmina words were soft, kind even but all Callie can manage is to shake her head silently, her eyes glued to the counter. After a moment a glass of water was placed in front of her and despite herself, Callie reached for it, with both hands, guzzling it down to soothe her parched throat.

"Thank you," she said, finally looking up at Yasmina. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be … dramatic…." Something Yasmina said finally sinks in. "You're Tim's … partner?"

Yasmina cocked her head slightly at the question but nodded.

"Ok. Ok," Callie muttered to herself. She had decided not to read the dossier that Bailey's people had compiled, she felt bad enough about this as it was and figured that less she knew about his life, the better. All she know was that he lived in Lowell Plains and work in a coffee shop called Lowell Coffee and Cake.

"Do you know Tim?" The question was curious but nothing more and Callie gave a quick shake of her head. How the hell did she explain herself?

Tim Robbins was tall, rangy and lean and as he appeared from a doorway behind Yasmina, Callie forced herself to look him straight in the face. Despite the low temperatures of early winter, Tim still had the remnants of a summer tan, his face was weather beaten and a little aged beyond the early forties she knew him to be.

"Hi there, you wanted to speak with me? Was the handicapped restroom not in good condition? I'm so sorry about that." He spoke to Callie easily with a concerned look and a smile and she drew a short breath at the resemblance he shared with his sister. The shallow dimple that showed itself for a short second made her heart ache.

Yasmina nudged him, "It's not the restroom, I think she might be unwell…"

"No. It's not that … I'm not ill …. I'm sorry …" Callie stuttered, her heart racing and sweat rolling down her face. She took a deep breath and then pulled herself to her feet, standing up, her back straight.

"Is there somewhere we can speak privately?"

Tim and Yasmina shared a look and then scanned the coffee shop, there were only a few patrons, students plugged in to headphones and earbuds, working on laptops.

"Well, we can, if you like but what is this about? You look like you're going to pass out. What can we do to help you?"

Callie's gaze moved from Tim's blue eyes to Yasmina and back again. Maybe if she just said it, it wouldn't be too shocking.

"I'm so sorry, but I didn't know what else to do …"

"About what, honey?" Yasmina asked, her voice gentle.

"My name is Callie Rodrigo Torres and … and I'm …I'm in love with your sister."

Callie was only half aware that her words didn't exactly explain anything or even make much sense. Her legs give out when the thought raced through her head that Tim might not want this part of his life shared with Yasmina, that she might not know anything about his past.

"You stupid, stupid dumb motherfucker." Callie muttered to herself, mortified and sick that she might have betrayed a secret. There was a buzzing noise in her head and she wondered if she was, in fact, having a stroke.

Tim and Yasmina both reared back instinctively at her words and Callie closed her eyes in despair. Great, she'd offended them with her potty mouth as well.

"Wait. What? You're in love with Halima? How, in all that is holy, did that happen?" Yasmina's mouth had slowly dropped open.

"Not you, she means me…. she means … You … you know Arizona?" Tim's voice faded away as he asked the question and Callie made herself look up at his face. He stared at her for a full minute and then his gaze shot the door, he craned his neck to scan the streets outside, closely following the shapes of people going about their business in the late afternoon.

"Is … is she here? Does she know I'm here? She got my emails?" The eagerness in his tone, the stark hope in his voice gave Callie a solitary shred of courage and she clung to it.

"No, she's not here, she doesn't know I'm here. I am so very sorry to invade your privacy like this."

"Oh." Tim blinked a couple of times and then seemed to shrink, just a little. Yasmina shot Callie a somewhat less friendly look and grasped his hand, her thumb stroking his knuckles.

"Perhaps you could explain …. I don't know …why you're here, if Arizona didn't send you, if she doesn't know you're here." Yasmina now sounded a little less genial and a little more authoritative. It was a tone Callie was familiar with, it was one she used plenty of times herself.

"It's kind of a long story but the cliff note version is that I started seeing Arizona about 2 years ago, we worked together and one day we came across a vet … he was … he was struggling a bit and …. and well we fought about it." Callie tried to push the words out as quickly as she could without making matters worse. "Arizona told me about you … about your struggles when you came back from Afghanistan and how she lost patience with you." She paused again but Tim just stared at his and Yasmina's clasped hands.

"She told me how you had … gone away … left town … and how much she regretted making you leave. She misses you …. and … and …" Callie pulled herself up, and took a breath, she wasn't supposed to interfere or try and be a saviour, if Tim wanted to be re-united with his family, Callie was sure that Arizona could tell him herself how much she had missed him over the years.

"Umm… So, I asked a friend to help me trace you …"

"Arizona couldn't do that? The Colonel couldn't do that?" Yasmina snapped, a trace of venom in her words.

Arizona had once told Callie of how much time and effort and funds are she had spent with private investigators trying to find Tim, but now was not the time.

"I … have … certain … extraordinary … resources … at my disposal," Callie explained carefully. She realised that she sounded extremely cryptic. But talking about her high net worth was so not what she wanted to do right now. Explaining that she was able to utilise people who had NSA access would just take up too much time.

"Okay?" Tim spoke quietly, the cheerful, friendly man she had encountered was now very subdued. "But why are you here and not Arizona?" He straightened up even as Callie notice him grip Yasmina's hand harder. "Has she completely given up on me?"

"No," Callie rushed to answer and then shook her head. "I'm not explaining myself properly." She paused and licked her lips, trying to put her thoughts into some semblance of order.

"As far as I know, Arizona has never given up looking for you, she lives in your Aunt Ruby's home, in London. She refuses to sell it because it's one of the places she says you were happiest as a teenager." She caught a glimpse of a smile at the mention of Aunt Ruby. "She thought that if you ever tried to re-connect with her or your family, you might go there."

"OK," Timothy nodded slowly.

"The reason I'm here is because, well … Arizona and I broke up but I want to try and get back together with her and …."

"And by bringing Tim to her, you think will make her reconsider?" Yasmin's tone wasn't exactly hostile but Callie knew she was on notice. She also wondered why she'd shared that little tidbit.

"No. Not that. You see the reason we broke up is because … well … Arizona felt that I was presumptuous about certain things, that I made decisions about her that I had had no right to make. She thinks that I have a saviour complex and that I'm always trying to save her." The words kept tumbling out of her mouth and Callie closed her eyes for a second. Why the absolute hell was she sharing all of this crap? They didn't need to know any of this.

"Oh, well that sounds like a lot," Yasmina calmed, just a little. "And is she right? I mean, about you having a saviour complex?"

Callie blinked, not expecting that question. She considered it a for a second, noting that Tim also seemed invested in her response.

"It's complicated and it's a really long story but I … did some things that were meant to help her but I overstepped and she hasn't forgiven me yet. She's also stubborn and won't ask for help, even when she needs it."

A low chuckle came from Tim and he rubbed his free hand across his face. "That does sound very much like my baby sister." He blew out a long breath and seemed to straighten again, he looked less like he had been winded by a sucker punch. "None of this explains why you're here though. So, you got someone to find me … now what?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Callie shrugged a little, her shoulders moving stiffly. She realised how tense she was, how tense she had been for the longest time and right now was the first time that she felt even a smallest sense of relief.

"I came here myself because I couldn't just ignore that fact that I knew that you were alive and well and living here but to just tell Arizona, now, when she thinks I'm trying treat her like a damsel in distress or whatever …" Callie stopped speaking but it seemed that Tim, at least, understood.

"That doesn't make sense, you say that she's been looking for Tim for years, why wouldn't she want this information?"

"It's not that she wouldn't want this information, she just might not want from me, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardise us working out our problems."

"The pair of you have pretty big problems if giving her the best news in the world might jeopardise your … relationship." Yasmina observed dryly.

Callie gave her a sour smile in response. It wasn't like Yasmina didn't have a point.

"Alive and well?" Tim picked up on something else.

"Arizona doesn't think you survived …" Callie trailed off, not wanting to bring up his past trauma.

"Yasmina knows that I'm an addict …"

"Recovering addict," Yasmina corrected before he finished speaking. She slowly patted his hand that was resting the counter. "Recovering addict, Timothy Robbins. Don't ever sell yourself short. You're not that person anymore."

Timothy gave Yasmina a small smile, but Callie could see it held a wealth of meaning. She could see love and support and acceptance and strength in the short gaze that they shared and she felt the familiar pang of loss twinge within her. Arizona would sometimes look at her like that. She shook the thought off, at least for the time being. Callie refused to mourn the loss of her relationship with Arizona, in her heart, there was still a chance that they could get their collective shit together and reconcile and she would continue to hold onto that hope. At least until Arizona told her to stop.

"Arizona thinks I'm dead?" Timothy prompted but Yasmina responded.

"Honey, you've been out of touch for more than 5 years, you said yourself that you were half way to your maker back then, of course she thinks you're dead." Her words sounded a little harsh to Callie, but Yasmina was being very matter of fact and Timothy tugged on his lower lip as her considered her words. It was another gesture that Callie recognised and she felt yet another pang.

"So, she didn't get any of my letters, then or my emails?"

Callie shrugged helplessly. "I really don't know. She's been in England for a while, at least 10 years, I think. Where did you send the letters? And don't you have her email address? "

"Uh, to Cambridge University?" He didn't sound entirely certain.

"Tim, darling, you don't sound too sure," Yasmina echoed Callie's thoughts. "And it was a long while ago that you sent them, maybe she moved, right?"

"Umm, Arizona was at Oxford University," Callie said quietly.

"You mean she might not gave got my letters at all?" Timothy, surprisingly, perked up at the prospect.

"I guess." Callie replied, her tone cautious.

"Then it means that she might still want me in her life, she wasn't ignoring my letters or my emails, she just didn't get them." He was now nearly jubilant. "Don't you see, I stopped trying to contact her because I thought she really don't want to know … but this …"

"Obviously, I can't actually speak for her, but the last time we spoke about you, Arizona desperately missed you." Callie hoped she was doing the right thing.

"What about the Colonel? What about your mother?" Yasmina asked questions that had occurred to Callie from time to time, but she had more than enough dysfunction in her own family, to try and decipher what was going on in Arizona's. She wondered if it had been selfish of her not to probe deeper. That was always supposing Arizona had been willing to share.

Timothy shrugged, he looked a little uncomfortable. "I don't know, it's complicated."

"I know, right." Callie and Yasmin spoke at the same time, both with a certain amount of feeling and they shared a small smile. Callie wondered what family burdens she was carrying.

Timothy put an arm around Yasmina and hugged her for a beat. He then placed both hands on her shoulders and leaned down to stare directly into her eyes, his face earnest.

"Whatever I happens in the future, we decide together. We do this together or we don't do it at all, ok?" He gave her a double-eyed wink and a cheeky smile and Callie nearly gasped out loud at the familiarity of the expression. Being in Timothy's presence reminded her of Arizona in ways that she hadn't anticipated.

Yasmina's gaze flicked to Callie for a half second before she leaned forward and brushed Timothy's nose with her own, the gesture familiar and intimate.

"Oh, I'm not worried about that, I'm just thinking that October in the UK is probably rainy as well as cold, right? We're going to need some sturdy rain gear."

For the first time since she started on this cockamamie endeavour, Callie felt her heart rate settle, at least a little. Timothy wasn't mad that she got in touch and he could take the next step of contacting Arizona without involving her.

"Where are you staying? We'd love you to join us for dinner," Yasmina looked over at Callie as she extended the invitation. Her expression was a little guarded but there was no hostility or overt tension. Timothy's smile widened as he turned to look at Callie.

"That would so great," he endorsed the invite.

"Huh?" Callie replied, a little inelegantly. She hadn't given a single thought to what happened next after finding and introducing herself to Timothy, so the thought of forming any kind of acquaintance with him hadn't been on her radar.

"You said that you were in love with my sister, right? Then we should totally get to know each other better, you can tell us how you met …"

"Unless you'd rather not …?" Yasmina tilted her head as she tried to interpret Callie's visible reticence.

"No, no. I would love to join you for dinner. Thank you," Callie finally remembered her manners. "I just don't want there to be any … misunderstandings …" She still sounded like a dolt.

"With …?" Timothy was mystified.

"With Arizona?" Yasmina asked. "You think she might think that you're playing God again and being overly involved in her family affairs?"

"That's pretty much the sum of it." Callie nodded.

"Well, honey, I can't claim to know what's going on with y'all but perhaps you can think of what to tell her after you've had dinner with us." Yasmina said, looking up at Timothy for confirmation.

"I would really like to … to get to know you …." Timothy faltered a little and Callie could see his cheeks reddening a little.

"And you'd like to hear a little about how Arizona is doing as well, I guess," Callie surmised. At his brief nod she reached out and patted his hand, resting on the counter.

"It's a natural reaction. And yes, I'd love to come for dinner."

#

Arizona's confrontation with her father never took place.

Colonel Timothy Edward Robbins suffered another heart attack that night and passed away in his sleep.

The call came in dead of night and Arizona had still been awake, pacing up and down the hall, her emotions alternating between incandescent rage at her father, at herself and then abject misery at the unutterable loss that she felt for Tim and for Callie. She had picked up her phone half a dozen times to finally call Callie but didn't know how. She heard her mother rise at about 0200 and though she hadn't actually heard the phone ring, she was still wandering around like a wraith, when her mother sought her out. The tear stained face told Arizona all she needed to know and a strange numbness seemed to take over. The hospital had told her mother that it happened quickly and painlessly and his medical directive made it clear that resuscitation was not to be attempted.

"Where is Callie? Why isn't she here?" Arizona marvelled at her mother's stoicism as she drove back from the hospital and funeral parlour. Arizona gripped the steering wheel tightly and stared at the near empty city street and gave a half-hearted shrug by way of a response.

"You haven't spoken with her? Still?" Arizona chanced a quick look at her mother.

"What are you waiting for, Arizona? Do you want Callie to change her mind about you and find someone else?" The censure was mild but it was there.

"I'm trying, Ma. I really am but I can't just call her up and say sorry." Arizona squirmed in her seat, shame and guilt and fear and loss and a dozen unnamed and unexamined emotions rising up within her.

"Well, what else are you going to say if not sorry?" Arizona could now her the exasperation as well as the rebuke.

"It's not enough." She shook her head. "It's not nearly enough."

"Now, you're just being foolish and I didn't raise you to be a fool. Arizona, if you want this woman, if you truly love her, then go do what needs to be done to repair the situation."

"I've sent her a letter, a couple of days ago. I … was planning to go see her .. tomorrow … today. But now, well … Dad died." Arizona felt her mother's gaze on her.

"You posted a physical letter?"

"I know," Arizona acknowledged the unspoken incredulity in her mother's words. "It was literally the only thing I could manage. I know I'm being a coward, Ma, you don't need to tell me."

"The funeral won't be for at least a week or two. There's nothing to keep you here right now. If that is what you really want."

"It is, Ma. Callie, truly is who I want."

Barbara nodded and leaned back in her seat.

"Well then. You know what to do."

#

Callie contemplated the ringing phone for a moment, debating on whether she actually wanted to take this call or not. When did she become so indecisive? She snatched up the phone and touched the green icon.

"Hey Callie, you …ok?"

Unable to help herself she snorted and heard the sigh from the other end.

"OK, look I know I said I wouldn't call and bug you but, I am worried about you here, you know? We all are."

Callie pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. Her selfishness wasn't entirely lost on her.

"Mark, I'm sorry. I truly am. I don't know how to … to be and and I don't want to take that out on people around me, but I didn't mean to shut you out like this."

"I get it. Kind of," Mark responded quietly. There was a pause and then he cleared his throat and she waited for the reason he called to be revealed.

"Ummm … how are you doing?"

She squinted into the near distance, not seeing anything beyond her hotel suite. How was she doing?

"I haven't heard from Arizona in 4 months, apart from the disaster of a trip to Switzerland. She has probably canned my ass and I have no single idea what I'm going to do without her. That's how I'm doing, Mark." She couldn't even put any bite into her response. Despite the pleasure of meeting Tim and Yasmin and the kind of vicarious joy that he was actually alive, being in her brother's presence somehow made Callie miss Arizona that much more.

"No … I mean. Well yeah, I know that. I mean … haven't you …Have you been listening to the news?" Mark was uncharacteristically stumbling over his words.

"Not especially, why? What's happened?" It couldn't be anything to do with Aria or Arizona or her family and Mark was on the phone talking to her, so …

Mark sighed and she could almost hear his brain turning over.

"For God's sake, Mark! What's going on?"

"CalTech dropped 20% of its share value. It's wiped billions off the Dow and the Nikkei."

Callie opened her mouth but no words came out. How was that even possible? Patterson and Nathaniel Brown hadn't held the reins long enough to steer the horse over the ledge.

"What?" Her voice was faint, even to her own ears.

"Browne let that asshat release some statements and everyone took fright. The world, its wife and her backwards brother all took their money and ran for the hills." Mark wasn't usually this eloquent.

"Why is Patterson the face of anything? Why was he let in front of a camera let alone a press conference? How on earth … why on earth was he allowed to …?" Callie sucked in some air and tried to calm her breathing. The damage was already done.

"So? We reckon the price will stabilise or go into free-fall?"

"They called an emergency board meeting last night but, well … I'm not on the board, so I'm waiting for updates. Based on what the others have said, it's likely that Patterson will be hog-tied and hidden away somewhere and Patterson will be more front-facing, try and lessen the damage. Who knows?" She could hear him shrug. They both knew that Nathaniel Browne was an unknown quantity to the industry, he was without a track record and investors weren't going to be in any hurry to put their hard earned cash back in his hands.

"Right. OK. Thanks." Callie said. There wasn't much else to say. There was a pause.

"Cal, where are you? Why don't you come home?"

"I'm just outside Boston, place called Lowell."

"And what's in Lowell?"

Callie snorted again.

"It's complicated. But I'll tell you soon," she promised. "And, yeah. I think I'll be coming home soon, hon. Maybe I just have to face the music or something."

"Callie …" Mark paused and she waited, wondering what else he had to share. "I … think … it'll be ok. With Arizona, I mean. I think it'll be ok in the end."

She took in his words, her immediate response was to pounce all over that statement. Why did he think that? How could he know? Had Arizona spoken with him? And that made her pause. If Arizona had spoken with Mark but not with her then, maybe … maybe … Her brain seized up. She hadn't the first, last or foggiest clue what it might mean but all she had left was hope.

"I hope so too, Mark. I really do. Listen, I'll call you soon ok. Say hi to Nicole. And, Mark? I love you."

"I love you, too Cal. Be safe."

Callie tossed her phone aside and flopped down her bed. She should be seething right now. One-fifth of her company had disappeared like a fart in the wind thanks to the greed and rank idiocy of the most spoilt twat in christendom. The fact was that she couldn't drum up the emotion. She didn't have anything left.

Her phone rang again and she snatched it up, assuming Mark had left something out. She looked at the image and felt everything within her contract into a tight ball. She swallowed some air and answered the call.

"Hi."

There was a hesitation and then softly Arizona responded.

"Hey Callie."

There was a spell of silence and Callie wondered if Tim had already called. He said he wanted to have a moment to come to terms with things, of how he wanted to respond to his parents, especially his father. He'd been overwhelmed and needed a minute. Which was understandable, considering the circumstances.

"Callie, I'm … I'm …" she trailed off and Callie, maybe unsurprisingly, felt, of all the emotions, her ire rise.

"I swear to god, Arizona, if you've called to break up with me, I'll …."

"No!" Arizona nearly shouted in Callie's ear, suddenly animated.

"No. Callie, not that… Never that. I wanted to … to see you. To tell you that I'm sorry that it's taken me this long. I needed time to … to …?"

"Time for what, Arizona? What did you need so many months away from me for? I'm sorry I went to Peggy but … this?"

"I needed time to … to get my shit together, to pull my head out of my ass. Callie. I was … I still am a mess but …" Arizona's voice broke and as quickly as her anger flared, the sound of Arizona's distress made it dissipate. Every cell in her body yearned, ached to be with Arizona. Callie felt her essence reach out to try and comfort her love.

"Arizona, don't cry." The gravel that settled in the base of her throat listening to Arizona's tears made it hard for her to speak.

"Callie, please don't give up on me. Please. Please.

#

Arizona resisted the urge wipe her hands on her jeans again. Her hands felt clammy and she could feel sweat beading her brow and running down her spine. Her mouth was dry and she wished she had a breath mint. She shied away from the reasons why she might need a breath mint and patted her hair down a little. Her heart was thumping so hard in her chest that she was sure that everyone within a 10 mile radius could hear it.

She was sure the Callie could hear it.

Mark had called her and told her that Callie was coming to stay with him and Nicole for a few days because she didn't want to be alone in New York. He had been noncommittal and blasé about it but she could hear an undercurrent of excitement in his voice but she didn't ask him if Callie had asked about her, she simply asked him if he and Nicole would be willing to have another house guest and he'd extended their invitation to her without fanfare. The drive down from Connecticut to Brooklyn had seemed to disappear by in a slightly uneasy blur and before she was ready, Arizona found herself being directed by Nicole though their home to the back porch where Callie and Mark were talking. The hug that Nicole had bestowed on her had been unexpected but the comfort offered made Arizona cling to her for a moment, trying to bolster her courage. In the deepest parts of her, Arizona knew that she shouldn't be so nervous, that she should trust in the love that she and Callie shared, but it was easier said than done and her behaviour could have destroyed that same love.

Her sneakers made no sound as she walked out on to the deck, Callie had her back to Arizona as she approached. Mark looked over and gave her a smile, alerting Callie to her presence.

Arizona came to a stop and her breath caught in her throat. It felt like she hadn't seen Callie in years even though it had been less that 8 weeks since their meeting in Geneva.

"Callie …" Arizona breathed the name out, like a whisper and then dried up.

"I'll leave you guys to it," Mark announced as he walked passed Arizona, giving her a gentle slap on the back and a, less than subtle, meaningful stare.

Callie gave her a thorough appraisal, her gaze taking in every inch. It wasn't a leer by any means, she wasn't checking Arizona out. It was more of an evaluation, almost as if assuring herself of something.

"Arizona, hey." Callie's words were soft and there was only the hint of a smile on her face. She was uncharacteristically reserved, distant even but Arizona couldn't really fault her for that. She was casually dressed in jeans and a dark hoodie and looked a little tired, her hair was pulled back into a sleek, high pony-tail and it reminded Arizona of the day that she had come to one of the summer garden parties that Arizona had held for her team. That memory felt like a lifetime ago.

Callie was still so very beautiful and Arizona felt something shudder through her just staring at her. She opened her mouth to speak but her throat was still dry and she stood there for a moment feeling useless and inadequate. There was about 4 feet of space between them but it could have been a crevasse. Arizona didn't know how to say the words.

Their phone call of a few nights back had been brief, incomplete and unsatisfactory, neither of them able to open up or talk other than a hesitant agreement that they would meet face to face.

"I … got your letter," Callie said slowly, referring to the letter of incoherent rambling that Arizona had posted a while back. "Did you mean it?" Callie's voice, her beloved voice held a hint of trepidation and hope and it dissolved the cement that had rooted Arizona to the spot.

She took 2 quick steps towards Callie and stood in front of her, reaching out to take her warm, soft hands in her own.

"Please take me back. Callie, please take me back. I'm sorry for how I behaved … how I treated you. I'm so, so sorry. Please take me back." The words that came from her mouth were impassioned and real and true but before she could draw another breath Callie had closed the gap between them and grabbed her, crushing their bodies together in a tight hug.

"Arizona, I'm sorry for going behind your back to Peg … to Margaret. Will you forgive me?" Callie's mouth brushed Arizona's ear as she spoke, her words were muffled but determined.

Arizona had her eyes squeezed shut as she melted into the familiar warmth of Callie's embrace. She could feel their hearts beating wildly, loudly, almost in tandem, as if they recognised this re-union. Arizona buried her face into Callie's chest, her forehead resting on her clavicle. She felt her fingers grasping restlessly at Callie's hoodie, trying to pull the other woman closer still. Callie's warmth, her familiar scent engulfed Arizona, it had been so long. How could have she have possibly thought she could give this up? Callie's words penetrated her consciousness and, reluctantly, she pulled back to look up into Callie's face.

"Arizona. I am sorry. It wasn't my place to resolve the deadlock with Margaret. It wasn't my decision to make," Callie's words were earnest and her expression grave, a line of tension was etched between her brows. Her hands moved to rest on Arizona's shoulders and the blonde could feel that Callie was trembling.

"Callie, you don't need to apologise …" she started to say.

"We both know that I do," Callie interrupted. "Arizona, I want you back more than anything …" she choked a little, her voice breaking and tears flooded her somber, dark eyes. "Arizona, I need you in my life but we both have to face up to what went wrong… we can't brush this aside."

Arizona bit her lip hard and held her jaw tightly as she nodded her head quickly at Callie's words. In the face of Callie's distress, Arizona knew that she wouldn't be able to utter a word without crying. She leaned up and cupped Callie's face in her hands and brushed their lips together in a soft kiss.

"I will do whatever it takes to get us back together. I promise," she breathed the words against Callie's mouth.

"Calliope, I love you so much…" She stopped as Callie burst into tears, almost soundless as she wrapped her arms around Arizona again, sobbing into her shoulder, her chest heaving as she struggled for breath.

"Oh my darling. Oh my darling, my darling." Arizona's tears slid down her face as she tried to comfort her love.

They stood there, embracing tightly, their bodies almost melded together as the pain and hurt and loss slowly began to dissipate.

Callie buried her fingers into Arizona hair, massaging her scalp and pulled back. She stroked the tears away from Arizona's face.

"Will you forgive me, Arizona?" Her voice was hoarse, subdued and slight and held a hint of something that hurt Arizona's heart. She nodded her head.

"I forgive you, Callie if you think you need my forgiveness but will you forgive me?" Arizona took a shuddering breath. "Callie, you did something that you thought was right and for the good of … humanity almost. What I did was different. I was being unreasonable, I was angry and out of control and I took it out on you. They are not the same thing and I was … I was unbelievably horrible to you. Will you please forgive me, Callie? I was wrong …"

Callie bent her head and this time pressed her lips to Arizona's, halting her words.

"I love you and I forgive you, Arizona. I never stopped loving you and we can get through this."

Arizona pressed herself even more closely into Callie's frame, trying to imprint herself on the other woman. She could feel the tremors through Callie's body, even as the tears continued to course down her cheeks. Arizona tried to bring herself under some kind of control, even as she pulled Callie's head down on her shoulder, wanting, desperately to comfort her. The enormity of her actions was only now, truly dawning on her, the desperate hurt that she could see, that she could feel emanating from Callie stopped Arizona in her tracks.

How could she have done this? Arizona knew that Callie had been hurt by her actions but seeing the devastation on Callie's face, almost feeling Callie's pain, actually witnessing all that she had wrought up close and personal filled Arizona with loathing. She loved Callie, she had loved her … how could she have hurt her so badly, how could she have treated her love with such disregard?

Arizona led Callie to the oversized swing and though might have made more sense for them to have gone into the kitchen and out of the cold, she helped Callie to sit and then pulled the still sobbing woman fully into her, wrapping her arms about Callie's neck feeling the tears seep into her skin, perhaps marking her forever.

"Oh my darling girl, I'm sorry. I can't make this up but I'll … be better, Callie, I promise I'll love you better. Please…" Arizona wasn't even clear what she was pleading for, just the sight, sound of Callie's distress was eviscerating her. She deserved it, she deserved to feel this and she swallowed her own tears and tried to comfort the woman she loved, knowing that she had a lot of work do to repair their relationship.

#

Callie could feel the snot running downing her nose and sucked in a lungful of air, trying to catch her breath and get some control of her emotions. Even though her brain was telling her to calm the fuck down, she could faintly feel the edges of hyperventilation, hysteria almost, nibbling away at the final shreds of composure that she had. Composure!

That she could think of the word composure whilst she was sobbing uncontrollably was laughable and she let out snort of laughter into Arizona's neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry … I'll stop … I just …. I'm just …" Callie mumbled and spluttered. She couldn't explain her reaction to Arizona's apologies. But the tears wouldn't stop.

She pulled in another deep breath and another, hearing Arizona murmur comforting words into her ear. She felt so good. It felt so fucking good to have Arizona in her arms, to feel her beating heart against her, to see her face, her smile again. Callie suddenly pulled back, her sobs halting as she realised that all she had was a tentative smile when she first saw Arizona standing on the deck, she had seen Arizona's tears for the first time not her beautiful smile.

"I'm sorry," she repeated and, like a child, wiped her streaming nose on her sleeve. Ineffectually, she tried to mop the large damp patch on Arizona's shoulder. "Sorry," she mumbled again. Her mind was racing, there was so much to say and yet she was too overwhelmed to make sense. Callie took in a deep breath and stared into Arizona's eyes. They looked up at her, unflinching and Callie read the shame and hurt and guilt and unnamed emotions swirling in the direct, blue gaze. Arizona had always felt like pure sunlight to her, her vivacious personality, her humour, she had always felt like sunshine and now that brightness had been dimmed and Callie ground her teeth in frustration, determined not to dissolve again into tears. She gathered Arizona's hands up and placed them on her chest.

"We will get through this, ok. I know I'm a little …. a lot overwhelmed right now but I'm not trying to guilt you or … or blame you … I'm just so fucking happy that you're back … that we're back." Even as she said the words, Callie felt her heart clench, almost as if it didn't truly believe. Arizona freed up one of her hands and cupped Callie's cheek. Instinctively, Callie felt herself leaning into the touch, seeking out the warmth, the comfort.

"Callie, I feel guilty … I am guilty and I know that's not your intention and there's stuff that maybe we both need to unpick … but if you'll have me … you know I'm yours." Arizona's words were like a soothing balm to her soul and she leaned into the blonde, resting their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"Arizona, listen… I just … I couldn't …." Callie couldn't get the words right, she couldn't make them say the things she felt.

"I can't go back to living without you … I'll always be yours." It was a simple declaration, perhaps too simple but for now it was enough.

#

Callie chewed her bottom lip and shuffled from one foot to the other as her eyes gazed across Mark and Nicole's media room. It was their informal play area that they used when relaxing with friends and not trying to impress their business acquaintances. The room was large and tastefully decorated but comfortable, restful with muted earth tones and recessed lighting. Callie's eyes moved from Mark's unfeasibly large-screen TV to Nicole's impressive stack of board games, the pile of half read novels and magazine stacked on a small table. There was an unfinished game of monopoly on another informal dining table and a myriad of other details that Callie saw but didn't register. Mark and Nicole had, tactfully and at short notice, decided to spend their Saturday enjoying the delights of their city and had left Arizona and Callie in complete privacy. Callie knew it was counter-intuitive but she almost wished that her friends were still here with her.

It was an unhelpful thought and Callie tried to shake it off. She was horrifically nervous still and needed to get a hold of herself. Her emotional breakdown a short while ago had taken her by surprise. Perhaps it was the release of the tension that she had carried for so long. Perhaps it was the relief of knowing that Arizona was back and wanted to be with her. Or it could be the realisation that almost everything that she ever wanted, Arizona and her love, was almost …. almost within her grasp. They had made their apologies, re-affirmed their love but there was still so much further to go and Callie was almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. She was too scared to accept this reconciliation at face value, there was still so much that could still go wrong.

Callie kind of understood that she couldn't do this again. She couldn't endure the devastation of losing Arizona again.

"Take a deep breath and just take it one step at a time," Callie mumbled to herself, staring at her feet.

"I'm sorry, Callie, what did you say?" Arizona offered her a small smile as she looked up at her from one end of the couch. Despite herself, Callie jumped a little at Arizona's words. For the space of a few minutes, she had forgotten that she wasn't alone. She smiled back and tried to be decisive as she walked over to the couch to sit beside Arizona. Should she take the other end or sit in the middle closer to Arizona? She needed to do something before Arizona realised exactly how out of her mind with nerves she really was.

Arizona patted the space beside her.

"Callie, my darling, come sit here before you fall over. You don't need to be so nervous, I promise." Arizona smiled again and nodded her head, encouragingly.

"I love you." The words blurted out of Callie's mouth, unprompted. Instinctively, her brain took her to the truth. Her truth. Arizona knew her, inside out. Perhaps they had to re-learn some things but the fundamentals were there, surely. Callie smiled at herself and sat down.

"I love you too, Callie. Despite my recent actions, I do love you too." Arizona tilted her head as she looked at Callie.

"You look so sad," Callie cupped Arizona's cheek with one hand and blinked hard for a second. Her chest felt tight and her heart ached at the pain they both still were experiencing.

"We're both sad, because … well… we've been through a lot and I know there's still a lot going on … we'll work at it and get better …. but honey, what is with that spoon?"

Callie looked down and her hand and gave Arizona a guarded smile. She thrust the wooden spoon that she'd taken from the kitchen when they came inside and thrust it into Arizona's hands.

She straightened her shoulders and turned to look at Arizona head on.

"I think it would be good for us to talk. To start to talk … just for a little, to unpick what went wrong and how we want to go forward." She cleared her throat and wondered if she needed to relax a little, sounded like she was still in the board room. But considering all she still needed to reveal to Arizona, being relaxed was the last thing she needed.

"I think we need to start with our communication and this is like an opening session where we listen to each other without fighting or interrupting." She gestured to the wooden spoon.

Arizona looked at the spoon in her hands.

"So, when I have the spoon, I get to talk?" She asked.

Callie nodded and wiped her hands on her jeans. "Uhuh."

Arizona leaned over a placed the wooden spoon the coffee table.

"Honey, I think we can manage a simple conversation without the therapy aide …"

"But that's just it … we haven't been managing … that's why we broke …" Callie heard her voice begin to rise and immediately brought herself back.

"Arizona, there are things I need to say to you, today." Callie said, her words were firm, decisive. "There are things I need to tell you. And there are things that I probably need to hear from you as well. I really need us to do this, sweetie. Just for a little while."

Callie watched Arizona closely as she stared back at Callie for a beat and then reach over to pick up the wooden spoon. When she looked back at Callie, her face was a little grey and her mouth had tightened to a straight line. She swallowed a couple of times, her eyes flitting about the room and Callie wondered what was going on in her head. Arizona looked suddenly broken.

"Okay. Okay," she nodded her head. "I hear you, Callie and … and …" She paused for a second and took a huge gulp of air, her hands were gripping the spoon so tightly that her knuckles shone palely.

"And … if the thing you need to tell me is that you … that you slept with someone else while we were apart …I … I don't care." She literally ground her teeth and leaned towards Callie and, dropping the spoon, reached out and grasped her hands. "I mean, I do care but it doesn't matter, Callie. It doesn't matter. I can't not have you in my life …"

"Of course I didn't sleep with anyone," Callie burst out, affronted. "What do you take me for?" Callie was more than a little indignant at the question.

"Oh!" Arizona immediately deflated and slumped back into the sofa. "The way you said that you had something to tell me …. Callie, you sounded so grave, like it was something so very serious …. I can't think of anything that would make you say that …I know it's been a while and I can't really forget how good you are in …." Arizona was now beginning to ramble.

"I didn't sleep with anyone else, you frikking loon," Callie was exasperated and despite herself, now almost a little amused. Despite the distance that she felt between them, despite all the hurt and all the things that had to be said, despite the momentously ridiculous comment she had just made, this, right here was, the Arizona that Callie loved. She bent and picked up the discarded spoon and handed it back to Arizona. "Here, talk to me, tell me what I did wrong, tell me how I can do better. Just … go."

Arizona visibly hesitated, twisting the spoon in her hands, her head bowed and the blonde hair obscuring her face. Callie resisted the urge to prompt her or jump in or to start first. There was no telling what rabbit hole they might descend once she started.

"I guess I want to talk about why I was so mad at you for going to Peggy, right?" Arizona started slowly, her gaze still firmly fixed on her hands. Callie figured the question was rhetorical and simply hummed, noncommittal in her response.

"It's hard to try and explain because …" she trailed off and shook her head a little, strands of hair still covering her face. Callie didn't know if it really was the right thing to do but she leaned over and stroked the hair from Arizona's face and placed a gentle kiss on her forehand. Arizona seemed to melt into Callie's touch, her eyelids fluttering shut and a soft sigh seeped away from her.

"Sweetie, I know this is hard but please, just talk to me."

Arizona looked up and looked at her, her eyes opening and seeking Callie's gaze.

"I am ashamed of so many things in my life, Callie. It's not that these things are especially shameful, just I feel shame … maybe it's an inflated … over-inflated sense of responsibility, maybe it's a knee-jerk reaction to … to my upbringing … I don't know but when I was with Peggy, I let her … I let her take away my autonomy, I let her make decisions about the direction my career, what I taught, what I researched and yes, she was … is a brilliant scientist and I learned so much from her but I let myself be beguiled by all that poise and beauty and glamour and … and … refinement …" Arizona shook her head as if to shake off the memories. Callie pressed her lips together to avoid making any comment. Yes, Margaret Christiansen had all of those attributes, she was sorry to say.

"By the time I realised that I was no longer me when I was with her, it was too late … she had taken the better part of my work and nearly 8 years of my life." Arizona's hands had curled into fists and her face became flushed as she spoke, her words low and fast. The bright turbulence of her eyes and furrow of her brows was evidence of the emotions that her words evoked. "I let her make all the decisions, Callie, I let her. I had no one to blame but me." She thumped a fist on her thigh to punctuate her words. "I did that, Callie. Me." Arizona pulled in a few quick breaths and seemed to calm herself.

"Once the scales had fallen from my eyes I promised myself I'd never let that happen to me again." She looked at Callie, the barest hint of a smile hovering around her lips, her gaze was … kind, speculative, Callie wasn't sure. "And then you came along."

And did the same thing? Callie asked herself, feeling her heart sink. Did Arizona compare her with Margaret … Peggy … that red-haired wench?

"And you couldn't have been more different from Peggy if you tried … you were so different. You were brash and direct and there were no minds games, you … you encouraged me, you took away the fears and the burdens …. and you made everything so much easier, Callie. You were like … you were like magic, like my knight in shining armour and I relied on you. " Arizona's tiny smile grew, ever so slightly even as her eyes filled with tears. "I didn't mean to but … suddenly, I … I … needed you, you became my everything."

Was that such a bad thing? Callie bit her lip to avoid blurting the question out. Callie couldn't actually recall if she'd ever seen Arizona so vulnerable.

"It's not that it was a bad thing," Arizona said, as if she could hear Callie's thoughts. "And, when I finally was able to admit it, to actually acknowledge how much I loved you, it was a wonderful thing, a wonderful, wondrous feeling but it was scary because I had no control over it … and that reminded me of Peggy. It reminded how I felt with her when things went wrong. It's really not what you did, Callie, it's how I felt and I should have talked about it with you rather than letting everything .…" Arizona trailed off for second and absently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I didn't handle the pressure well, the frustration with the strange results the compound was throwing up along with the decision to postpone the IPO … I just didn't know how to handle it and you going to Peggy felt like an act of betrayal and I imploded. My behaviour wasn't rational, it was a gross over-reaction, but it was how I felt." Arizona pushed hand through her hair for a moment and then jumped up and walked around the room, her steps quick and restless as if she had a burst of energy that she needed to dispel immediately. She stopped halfway across the room and swung back to look at Callie, head on, her expression intense.

"It was the right thing to do, Callie, in the long run," she said, baldly. " It wasn't your place to make that call, not really but …" Arizona trailed off for a second and Callie saw her shoulders slump, just a little, as if she had lost steam. She shrugged and then pursed her lips and walked back to the sofa, back to Callie and sat down. Arizona kept her gaze directly on Callie's face. "I freely admit, it was the right thing to do … to explore, to exploit every single avenue was the right call. I'm just sorry that I couldn't get my head out of my ass to see that."

She blew a deep breath out and almost collapsed against the sofa, dropping the spoon on her lap.

Callie screwed her eyes closed for a second. Why couldn't they just skip to the good part? She just wanted to take Arizona in her arms and rock her gently and take away all of her pain. Her eyes snapped open at the thought and an unamused smile came to her face. Wasn't that exactly what had led them to this very moment? She couldn't take away Arizona's pain. But she could offer to share it.

She leaned over to Arizona, who was watching her closely and dropped a kiss on her head.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Arizona … I … ummm …. I never wanted it to feel like I was making all the decisions for you or taking away your sense of agency. And I get that you're not saying that I did but that it engendered those feelings in you, right?" A quick nod from Arizona spurred her on. "I'm sorry that my actions made you feel that way, even if it was only after that red-haired wench came back into your life." Callie deliberately didn't pick up the spoon, she wanted Arizona to jump in and interrupt if she felt the need.

"Arizona, I know I've said it before but I am sorry for going behind your back and I'm sorry I hid my real identity from you when I first came to work with you. I know that led to some of the mistrust in the end …" Callie paused and rested her head against the back of the sofa, her faced turned towards Arizona. She suddenly felt as if all the juice had been drained from her, the emotional upheaval had exhausted her.

"I didn't think I would fall in love with you, you know? I mean, I didn't set out to seduce you, I wasn't looking for a relationship, even. When I came to London I was completely adrift, untethered and then, out of the blue, I found a home with you … my heart found it's home with you, Arizona" Callie swallowed hard, now was not the time to start crying again but her emotions were still very close to the surface.

"I don't know if I have an over-inflated protective streak or something but I never consciously thought that I needed to protect you, I didn't set out to be your knight in shining armour and you have never ben some helpless damsel in distress but I wanted to take away your hurt, I want to take away your pain and all the shit that you've gone through, I didn't want that for you anymore and I think that's what drove me to do some of the things I did."

Arizona had been respectfully silent but at Callie's words she surged forwards and grasped Callie. "You have done everything for me, you didn't do anything wrong …not really." She stopped her words, pulling herself up . "I'm sorry, it's your turn to speak."

Callie scratched her scalp and then pulled her hair out of her ponytail. She thrust both hands into her hair to loosen it and fluff it up, conscious that she was looking for a distraction. She had no idea if this was the right thing to do or not but she had to do it now or she'd lose her nerve.

"Arizona, do you remember when you first told me about … about Timothy?" Callie started and then stopped at the anguish that crossed Arizona's face.

"I don't know how to say this to you and I don't want you to think that I was playing God or something but … but … Arizona your brother isn't dead. He's alive and well and living just outside Boston." Callie had her hands clasped together and pressed against her mouth. In the recesses of her mind she was glad that she'd been too tense to eat that morning because, right now, she felt like she was going to be barf in spectacular fashion.

Arizona's face had now blanched to an unnaturally pale white but her eyes shone, bright and vivid and in that moment, the crease between her brows and the baffled shock on her face reminded Callie, forcibly, of Tim's face when she blurted out to him that she was in love with his sister.

Arizona hadn't said anything, she had barely drawn breath.

"Arizona, what would you like to ask me?" Callie, prompted quietly. "I promise I've only known for about a week, well 6 days to be exact." Callie decided to tell Arizona everything she knew. "I wanted to let you know immediately but … I didn't want you thinking that I was trying to be your saviour or … or trying to use this to inveigle my way back into your life with this information …" She paused and took a breath, trying to decipher the expression on Arizona's face.

"What?" Her voice was faint.

"When I first starting working for you, you told me about Tim and I instructed my personal attorney to … to keep an eye out. Well, to be honest, I can't really remember what I asked her to do but a little while ago, Bailey got in touch to say that they had found a Timothy Daniel Robbins living in town called Lowell Plains…"

"You … you're sure it's him? This person who found him … are they certain it's Timmy?" Arizona had slowly sat up straight and looked like a frightened bird, poised to take flight.

"I went to see him, Arizona. I literally had dinner with him and his partner last night … Arizona, I wanted to tell you immediately but … you told me not to make contact. You told me I was playing the role of your saviour, I didn't want this to be another thing…" Callie stopped, took a breath, took stock and tried to remain calm. "I gave Tim all of your details and he was meant to be making contact today. He … he was pretty shocked and…" Callie paused then shrugged. These were conversations that Tim needed to have with Arizona directly.

"How is he … Is he ok …? Does he forgive me for… for not helping him with his struggles?" Arizona asked, pressing a trembling hand to her mouth.

Callie smiled at her. "He seems really great, Arizona. He owns a really cool coffee shop with Yasmina and they've been there a few years. I think he'd love to hear form you. I just think he was a little overwhelmed."

Arizona jumped up and looked around her, her movements frantic.

"I need to go to him … I … I need to call him. I need to call Tim right now."

She looked at Callie and her expression was indecipherable but before Callie could defend herself or apologise or anything Arizona flung herself into Callie's arms knocking them back into the sofa.

"I can't believe this is real, Callie."

"You're … not mad at me?" Callie asked slowly. She wanted so hard, so desperately for this to be ok, for this to be all right, that she hadn't made another colossal mistake.

Arizona sat up, pulling herself away from Callie's grasp and shook her head quickly, once, twice, her hair falling about her face. In a strangely poignant gesture, Arizona ran the palms of her hands down her face just like a little girl being brave, and wiped away her tears. Callie could see her throat move as she swallowed a few times.

"I'm not mad at you for finding Tim, how could I be? It's just …." Her voice broke and she put up a trembling hand to her lips and closed her eyes for a second.

"Mark told you that I wanted to meet with you here, right?" Her voice was hoarse and faint but her gaze, bright, blue, shining with unshed tears was direct and unwavering. Callie took some hope in that and reached out to hold Arizona's hands.

"Yeah, you were going to come a few days ago and then switched up to today." Callie wasn't about to go into how scared she had been that Arizona might have changed her mind about their meeting. She still couldn't quite get her head around why Arizona couldn't have just spoken with her but that was a question for later.

"The reason why I had to delay was because my father died the day before I was due to come to Brooklyn." Arizona said the words without ceremony but Callie's breath caught at the revelation.

"Oh my god, Arizona. I am so, so sorry …" Callie whispered, her words a shocked gasp. "You didn't need to come today … I mean … Jesus, honey, I could have come to you … you know I could have come to you …your mother …." Callie paused to draw a breath, she was rambling, filled with guilt that she had dragged Arizona away from a family tragedy.

"Callie, I know I should have spoken to you about this… I wanted to but everything was so mixed up in my head." Arizona was gripping Callie's hands, she was leaning into her and Callie took comfort from her body language.

"After I let you walk away from me in Geneva, I realised what a monumental bitch I was being, I realised that I was hurting both of us instead of talking to you and I don't know why I did it. I don't know why I couldn't open up to you then but when you walked away I realised that I couldn't let you go, that … that nothing made sense or was any good without you there with me." She pulled in a deep shuddering breath and Callie held her tongue. She had so many questions but she knew Arizona needed to get this out without interruption.

"I got up to chase you down but you'd already left and when I was about to call you, I got a call from my mother to tell me that Dad had suffered a massive heart attack and had a stroke."

Callie nodded slowly, trying to grasp what she was being told. Arizona had received devastating news and hadn't called her.

"I wanted to call you, Callie. I wanted you there with me, to give me strength, the way you always to, I wanted you with me to comfort me, to make me smile, to make me feel better … but … but…." Arizona paused and rested her forehead on Callie's shoulder for a moment before pulling back and staring into her face. Her eyes roamed Callie's face, taking in all of her features and the bitter thought that Arizona's pride and stubbornness had stopped her from reaching out began to fade.

"I don't think that it was pride that stopped me from calling you, my darling. I wasn't thinking at all, initially and then, I didn't want you to think that it was my father's illness that made me realise that I need you in my life. I don't know this was important and maybe it is just my stupid pride but I wanted to show you that I want you for your love, not for the things that you can do for me," Arizona shook her head and let out a short laugh. There was no humour in the sound.

"Saying that out loud sounds like the most stupid thing imaginable. I've caused you so much pain … and I prolonged it and now, none of it makes the slightest sense." She looked up at Callie again.

"That you've found Timmy is … unbelievable. That you've found him now, at this time is … is … it's like something out of a movie. Callie, you don't understand …my dad did something … utterly unforgivable. He knew that Tim might still be alive …or … or to be more exact, he told us that he had incontrovertible proof that Timmy had died and it wasn't true."

"What?" Callie said, her words faint. Who would do such a thing?

"It wasn't true. He apparently knew that Tim might still be alive but was happy to leave him to rot somewhere." Arizona dragged her hands away from Callie and jumped up, pacing for a moment and then flopped down again. She again, immediately, reached out for Callie's hands, perhaps to keep them connected, perhaps to draw strength from Callie's grasp.

"I'm still so, so angry, Cal … I can't … I can barely contain it. Ma told me all this last week but I couldn't confront him about it because he was still pretty sick."

"Wh.. what happened?"

"He had a heart attack and died. Peacefully, according to the hospital." Arizona shrugged. "I can't mourn for him right now …I can't be mad at him because he's dead … I just … I don't know." She shot a glance at Callie, it was slightly shameful and Callie frowned slightly.

"I told Mark that I knew I needed therapy to help me unpick why I was such a … why I nearly torpedoed our relationship but now I know I'm going to need help to unpick how I feel about Dad's actions and his passing away right now. I will never be able to scream and shout at him for what he did to poor Timmy."

"Jesus holy Christ, Arizona, that's a lot. I mean, that's a lot, a lot." Callie blew out a breath. There really was a huge amount to try and take in and the burgeoning resentment, that she hadn't really expected to feel at their reunion, was beginning to dissipate. Arizona's hands were shaking, she was trembling all over and Callie reached out to stroke Arizona's face, her palm cupping her warm, tear-ravaged cheek and she leaned forward to place a chaste kiss her lips. She felt Arizona's confusion and distress and all the other emotions almost as if they were a visceral, tangible entity.

Arizona shook her head a little, as if trying to make sense of the last 15 minutes.

"I have to talk to Tim … I need to let Ma know that he's … he's …" her voice cracked for a second and she swallowed, unable to finish, the enormity settling on her once again.

"Whatever you want me to do, I will be here, with you, to do it. It doesn't matter what you need, baby. I am here for you," Callie paused, second-guessing herself would probably feature for a while. Couple's therapy was a good idea.

Arizona placed her hand over Callie's that was still cupping her cheek and closed her eyes for a beat as Callie's thumb stroked her face.

"Thank you, darling, please that would … that would mean the world to me and … and well all of us, really." She straightened and took Callie's hands in her, raising them to kiss the back of each hand. She almost seemed in a bit of a daze, her actions unconscious. "Ma's sorting out the funeral and I told her I'd be back soon, well soon-ish to help her with the arrangements. I was hoping you'd come back to Connecticut with me … to be with me …?" She looked up at Callie, her gaze hopeful but the hesitation, the fear of rejection was apparent. She had dark smudges under her eyes and the strain that she had been under was equally visible on her face, in the droop of her shoulders. Again, Callie felt insides clench in a sympathetic anguish.

"You must be exhausted, Arizona. And, yes, of course, you never need to ask, I will be there for you. Let's call your mother and maybe Tim and while you do that, I'll start getting the details together, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Callie dropped another kiss on Arizona's forehead and made to rise. Arizona's hand shot out to grab her.

"Please stay … I'd like you stay while I make the calls, I'd like you to be part of it … is that ok?"

Callie couldn't help the smile that came to her face.

"Of course that's ok. I'd be honoured."

Arizona nodded and looked down, fiddling with her phone, her hands hadn't stopped trembling and Callie reached out and clasped them, warming them.

Your tiny hands are frozen. The random thought fluttered through Callie's brain even as she vowed to herself that she would do whatever took to keep Arizona warm. For a moment, there was complete stillness from both of them, the faintest sound of their breath hovered in the air. Arizona took one of Callie's hands and placed it on her chest.

"Thank you, Calliope, for loving me, for not giving up on me. I do love you, you know." She nodded her head slowly as if confirming some hypothesis.

Callie felt a tiny bubble of laugh well up inside of her.

"I know you do, Arizona. I love you too."

#

At her request, after dinner with Mark and Nicole, who, despite a couple of furtive winks and thumbs up, were both respectfully subdued at their reconciliation, Callie took Arizona back to her apartment in Manhattan.

Arizona had been distracted all day, the utter shock of actually speaking with, seeing Timmy was something that she hadn't fully been able to grasp. Their virtual reunion, with their mother had been almost surreal, filled with laughter and tears and angst. She had shed more tears than she thought was humanly possible and her heart ached so much with love for her brother, it ached so much with pain for the time that they had lost, it ached so much for her family, even for her father.

Arizona's heart ached so much for the distance she still felt between herself and Callie.

Everything still hurt.

It felt like the scenes from a melodramatic movie and she hadn't fully come to terms with everything but she knew that she … that they needed to take steps to repair their relationship fully. Arizona knew that the apologies, heart-felt and sincere though they might be, were only one step and that she needed to take dozens more before they were truly back on an even keel.

"Arizona, hon, do you want to go straight to bed … or would you like a nightcap… a hot chocolate?" Callie asked, her voice quiet in the darkened apartment. Arizona shook her head but held out her hand to Callie, inviting her to come sit with her on the sofa. Though tempted, she ignored her favourite swivel chair for the time being. Maybe, later. Maybe sometime soon.

"Come sit with me, for a minute, please. I want to talk to you."

Callie came over, half smile on her face.

"Baby, you're exhausted, you can barely sit up straight. Today has been a lot."

Arizona let out a small, unladylike snort and Callie's smile widened.

"Understatement of the century? I know." Callie lowered herself beside Arizona and looked her over, her warm, dark gaze was tender and the words that Arizona had carefully prepared on the drive back to Manhattan dissolved. She held out her arms to Callie.

"Would you hold me, please?"

Even before the words had fully left her lips, Callie had scooped her up in her arms, pulling her onto her lap and wrapping her arms around Arizona's frame.

A sigh eased out of her lips as Arizona melted into the familiar, longed for softness of Callie's body. She tucked her head on Callie's shoulder and one hand gripped the fabric of her sweater. Callie rocked her gently and dropped a kiss on her head. Arizona could feel the solid thud of Callie's heartbeat under her palm and focused on just that gentle thump. She willed the enormity of the last few days, weeks, months to fade away, if only for a while and listened to the solid, repetitive percussion of Callie's heartbeat. She had forgotten that she used to fall asleep to the sound of Callie's heart, her breathing, her presence and she tried not to wonder at how she could have given it up, how she almost let the best thing in her life slip away.

After a while she felt Callie sigh and shift a little.

"Sweetie, you're falling asleep here, let's get you to bed, you'll be more comfortable."

Arizona looked up at Callie but made no attempt to wipe away the tears that had seeped out from beneath her lashes.

"Arizona, honey …" Whatever Callie wanted to say, she swallowed the words and used her thumb to brush away the tears. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Can you forgive me?"

Callie sighed a little and moved Arizona so that she was staring directly at her.

"Arizona, I forgive you. I want you to forgive me too, ok?" Arizona nodded slowly, she didn't know how she could make Callie understand. She didn't equate Callie's misdemeanours to her own.

"I do, Callie, you know I do but …" Callie placed a gentle finger on her lips, halting the words that she struggled to articulate.

"Arizona, we both need rest, now isn't the time to unpick where we went wrong, this morning we started to scratch the surface but you're tired and you're emotionally fried." She bent down and brushed her lips across Arizona's.

"I'm tired and emotionally fried … I want to give this our full attention, I want us to be together the way we used to be, Arizona. I don't want you apologising to me every minute and I don't want to keep apologising for what I did." She screwed up her face for a second. "Wait, no. That didn't come out right." She took a breath and started again. "We hurt each other and we both acknowledge that hurt, right?" Arizona nodded. "Ok, we are both sorry for the hurt we caused, right?" Arizona nodded again, Callie was making this too easy but she held her tongue.

"Saying sorry and meaning it, it's … it's a step in the right direction, Arizona. It doesn't make everything ok but it tells us both that we're … we're on the same page. You mentioned therapy and I think, if you want, we can do couple's therapy, we can really can make us better, stronger ….. but if either of us are stuck in this … I don't know, spiral of guilt, we'll never move on from it. I don't want to feel eternally guilty for hurting you, Arizona, I mean I am but I don't just want to be guilty, I want to do better, be better, I want to be better for you, for us." Callie stopped talking and looked into Arizona's eyes. Hope shone from their depths and for the first time, in a long time, Arizona felt the vice wrapped around heart loosen.

#

Arizona came out of the en-suite drying her hair and smiled at the sight that greeted her as she entered the master bedroom. Callie was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling on her tablet wearing her tatty Daffy Duck PJ's. She was almost tempted to take picture of her like that and for a moment, the heaviness returned. Her, taking a candid shot of Callie and then teasing her about it was something they used to do. The sorrow welled up inside her again but this time, Arizona held on to her tears, at least for now. Callie was right at least in that she was completely overwrought right now and her emotions were as fragile as the ice crystals that were forming out on the window ledge.

"Hey," she whispered softly.

"Hey baby," Callie smiled at her and then bit her lip as she stood and hovered for a second as if she didn't know what to do with herself.

"Would you prefer if … if I slept …" She gestured vaguely to the door, presumably referring to one of the multiple spare suites in the apartment. Her voice trailed off, her offer possibly stalled by the look of dismay Arizona knew she had on her face.

"Slept where?" All other emotions quickly drained away as an impossible and unexpected outrage took over the upset and shock at the question. Her back snapped straight and she made no attempt to hide the glare that she trained on Callie, who was caught, almost stranded in the middle of her own bedroom.

"Calliope Rodrigo Torres what on earth would make you ask me such a question?" Arizona could not help the hauteur that overcame her.

"I … I … don't know," Callie mumbled, her shoulders drooped and her hands fiddled with her phone. "I want you to have your space … if you want it …"

"God damn it, Calliope, I don't want space from you. Never again. I've already made that mistake once." Arizona felt a burst of misplaced fury at both herself and Callie and flung her damp towel to the ground and stalked over to where Callie stood.

"Don't yell at me, Arizona." She muttered, this time, with little more of her familiar assertiveness. "I'm nervous, OK?"

She took in a deep, presumably calming breath and then repeated herself.

"I'm really nervous. I don't want to do the wrong thing, you've had a monumental day and it's been hard and I just want …."

Arizona reached her and stood on tip-toe to wrap her arms about Callie's neck. She was trembling a little and the strange fury that filled her drained away.

"I never want space from you, my darling girl, Calliope, do you understand me when I say that?" She felt Callie soften in her arms and then slowly wrap her arms around Arizona's waist. She nodded, wordlessly and tightened her hold.

"Callie, I'm nervous as well… of … of everything including how we progress from here. You were right, let's just get into bed and hold each other and we'll take things just as they come, ok?" She felt Callie nod again and then slowly release her. Arizona took her by the hand and led her to the bed. Callie lay on her back and Arizona snuggled into her side. After a moment Callie shifted and wrapped herself around Arizona.

"I know you haven't asked but in case you were wondering, I haven't slept with anyone since you." Arizona felt Callie stiffen and she sat up and leaned over her. Callie had a mildly outraged expression on her face and it made Arizona smile. She stroked Callie's warm cheek.

"Oh my darling girl, I know you weren't wondering but I'm nervous too." Arizona repeated then moistened her lips and addressed the elephant in the corner. She somehow imagined, in the back of her mind, that when she and Callie finally reunited, they would rip each other's clothes off in a frenzy of lovemaking.

This, right here, wasn't that.

"Does it sound strange that I'm … I'm nervous about being intimate with you as well Callie?" Inwardly, Arizona rolled her eyes at herself. Being intimate? She sounded like a TV therapist. "it's not that I don't want to make love with you but …"

"… but we're both really sad and overwhelmed and not exactly in the right mood?" Callie offered up and that yearning hope in her gaze brought a lump to Arizona's throat. Relief filled her that Callie wouldn't see this as a rejection.

"That's exactly right, my love. We can just lay here, together and tomorrow we'll see Tim, together and … and before you know it, we'll be us again."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt or … or put words in your mouth …"

"Hush, my sweet. You always know when to say the right thing."

Callie stared at her for a moment and nodded, the faintest of smiles curving her beautiful mouth. Arizona leant over and brushed their lips together in a gossamer kiss goodnight and then settled her body into Callie's curves. She closed her eyes and buried her face in the space between Callie's shoulder and neck and despite that she had said she was too sad for sex, left an open-mouth kiss on the fragrant skin that she found. Arizona closed her eyes and allowed herself to sink into Callie and as the events the day finally took their toll, Arizona's senses were imbued with Callie's warmth and her scent. Her body re-acquainted itself with the lushness of her curves, the strength of her body and softness of her skin. Lastly, as sleep took her away, her memory reminded her of Callie's choked whimpers as they made love, the abandoned, throaty cries she made when Arizona denied her and guttural moans as she climaxed. All these things Arizona remembered as she fell asleep in Callie's arms.

#

Callie's eyes opened slowly and she took a cautious breath. Strangely, considering some of the erotically charged dreams that she'd experienced over the last few months, she knew instinctively that she was awake and that the warm body half draped over hers belonged to Arizona. She muttered a silent yet heartfelt prayer of thanks that, against all the odds, things felt like they were beginning to fall into place. The vacuum of fear and sorrow that hadn't fully left her yesterday, despite their reconciliation, felt different this morning as if her heart had started to mend itself and knit together.

It was still dark and Callie couldn't see the clock but guessed that she'd only been asleep for an hour or two. She tightened her arms about Arizona's body and couldn't help a little hum of satisfaction at the weight and feel of Arizona's body, flush against hers. Callie had one hand resting on her back and the other on her derrière and she grinned a little. Some things never changed. She had been too overwhelmed earlier in the night to think about sex but the small, moist kiss that Arizona placed on her neck before going to sleep had ignited a small slumbering ember. As she lay there, Callie pondered on Arizona's comment of her sleeping with other people, while they were apart. For some reason, the thought rankled, that either one of them might have sought solace in the arms of someone else. But the reality was that they were healthy, adult women both of whom had enjoyed a vigorous and active sex life. Despite how long it had originally taken them to get together, it wouldn't have been completely impossible for either one of them to have hooked up with someone else whilst they had been apart.

"What are you thinking about, darling? I can feel you grinding your teeth, what's the matter?"

Callie started at Arizona's drowsy voice, and allowed her arms to tighten about her partner.

"Nothing … nothing important. Shhh, go back to sleep."

Arizona half turned and leaned over Callie, "Would you tell me, please? It's obviously important enough to upset you …" At Callie's hesitation, Arizona spoke again, her voice subdued.

"Is it about CalTech? Mark told me that you'd been removed as CEO."

Callie pushed out a breath at Arizona's words. "I wish he hadn't told you that. No, I'm not thinking about work. That's not what's important to me, right now." Callie paused for a moment and then decided to share her thoughts honestly.

"I was … I don't know, I felt strange at the thought that either one of us might have slept with other people…" She stopped speaking, aware that she couldn't properly articulate her thoughts other than that she was just weirded out by it. "I never thought that we were broken up or that we were on a break or anything but …" Callie paused and sat up fully, asked her smart speaker to turn on the lights and rolled Arizona on her back so she could stare into her eyes.

"Arizona, I could no more cheat on you than I could fly to the moon." Arizona reached out and stroked Callie's face, her touch gentle and tender but there was a mischievous expression on her face.

"Don't you dare mention Elon Musk," Callie rolled her eyes as Arizona giggled quietly. "Yes, technically, I could go to the moon … fine" Callie shook her head lightly, still smiling.

"I told you that once I'd given my love to you, I'd given it forever. I couldn't even imagine being with someone else …"

"And neither could I, Callie but we make mistakes and we do stuff that we regret." Arizona cupped Callie's cheek. "I wanted to make it clear that I wanted to be back with you, no matter what, Callie … I don't really know how I'm going to be able to show you what you mean to me," Arizona leaned up into Callie and kissed her softly on the lips.

Callie's eyelids closed as the familiar softness of Arizona's lips moulded to her own. It was a tender and undemanding kiss but it felt almost momentous, as if they were on the threshold of something life-changing. Callie pulled back, just slightly to look into Arizona's eyes and felt a pull within her, something that spoke to her heart, a reconnection, a reconfirmation that she, that they were back where they both belonged. She leant down towards Arizona and this time allowed her lips to part, softly, to allow her tongue to seek out the seam of Arizona's lips, to taste their plushness, to reacquaint herself with the comfort that she had missed.

"I missed you so much," she breathed the words out, scarcely aware of having spoken but Arizona opened her mouth to accept Callie's questing tongue and the words were lost in the sigh that they both made as their tongues entwined in a remembered synchronicity.

Arizona's hand moved from Callie's cheek and curled around her nape, urging her closer, her other hand gripped Callie's shoulder tightly and there was a slow building of urgency as they began to kiss in earnest, each of them striving to get closer. Callie's hand found the exquisitely soft skin of Arizona's throat and caressed it, the tips of her fingers trailing along the flesh, slowly seeking to wake Arizona's desire. Delving further, Callie's tongue, agile and sensuous, stroked the inside of Arizona's mouth and then, as their tongues met, she felt something ignite within her at the sensation and she sucked on Arizona's tongue, pulling it deeper into her mouth.

That simple, sensual gesture lit the fuse of their passion and Arizona growled something unintelligible and her hands gripped at Callie's shoulders puling her closer. No words were needed as eagerly, they stripped each other of their pyjamas and then as they fell into each other, skin to skin, Callie felt as if she had been scorched and soothed all at once.

Callie hissed as Arizona's hands cupped her straining breasts, her thumbs rubbing rhythmically over her tightening nipples. She didn't want to be distracted and leaned further into Arizona's body as they broke apart to snatch a breath of air. Callie's hands and mouth couldn't keep up with her burning need to touch every part of Arizona's body, to taste her skin, to feel her in the most intimate way possible. She buried her mouth into the space between Arizona's neck and shoulder, sucking on the soft skin, her teeth grazing, biting. Callie shifted her weight and leant over to give Arizona's soft breasts proper attention. As she took a tightly whorled tip into her mouth, she felt it tighten even further under her tongue and Arizona's breathy whimpers and straining body prompted her suckle even harder. Her free hand fondled the neglected breast and then she shifted from side to side, unable to get enough, unable to give enough. Callie could feel Arizona squirming, her legs moving restlessly and Callie slid her thigh into the juncture between Arizona's legs. The wet heat that met her touch and Arizona's gasps only increased the fever burning within. Callie was filled a desperation that clouded her mind but inflamed her senses, she couldn't get enough. She couldn't get enough of Arizona's scent or taste or feel. What if Arizona changed her mind? What's she left her again? What if this was their last time together? Callie couldn't bear it. It didn't matter that her thoughts made no sense, the desperation filled her and her hands reached out to grab Arizona's wrist, holding her tight as her mouth devoured every fragrant, supple patch of skin she could find.

Arizona writhed beneath Callie, whose grasp tightened for a second, insensible, before letting go. Arizona flung an arm around Callie's neck, pulling their faces together, her other hand fumbled about until she clutched one of Callie's free hands.

"Hold me, Callie. Hold me tight. I'll never let you go again." Arizona's words were barely a whisper in the space between them, her mouth pressed against Callie's neck but it was as if Arizona was speaking to Callie's very soul. Again, she felt soothed, she felt buoyant. Callie felt loved.

Her hands stroked down Arizona's taut belly and abdomen and reached the place that she knew would give Arizona the greatest pleasure. Callie's fingers found the damp curls and slid through Arizona's wetness, slowly mapping out and exploring Arizona's burning for centre. Another time, perhaps Callie would have strung this out, she would have taken her time, edged Arizona until distraction and desperation drove her out of her mind but now she couldn't wait. She couldn't deny Arizona, her soft whimpers, the increasing wildness of her thrusts into Callie's fingers as she sought more direct friction only spurred Callie on.

"I need you so much, Callie, please … please …"

Circling her entrance, Callie pulled her body up a little to stare into Arizona's face. Her eyes were closed but almost instinctively she opened them to stare back. Her face was flushed, her eyes almost fevered, her lips parted and a ghost of an expression overtook the desire for a second.

"I love you so much, Callie," Arizona said, echoing the words on Callie's lips.

"I love you," Callie breathed into Arizona's mouth as she sunk her fingers into the heat of Arizona's sex. Arizona's arm around Callie's neck pulled her closer and the she moaned loudly, her hips thrusting straight off the bed. Almost immediately, Callie felt Arizona's tightness grip her fingers, hard and then the unmistakable pulsing in tune with the incoherent gasps and whimpers. Callie rubbed her thumb along Arizona's hardened clit and then held her tightly as the blonde then went wild, her head thrust back into the pillow, her throat exposed as she responded to Callie's touch. Callie watched, entranced, she could never get tired this vision and even as her own body responded to Arizona's climax, she was eager to taste Arizona, to bring her tongue back into that warmth and drive her out her mind again and again.

#

Callie squeaked slightly as Arizona tightened her grip.

"Honey, you're going to break my ribs if you squeeze any harder." Arizona buried her face into Callie's neck and murmured, unintelligible. She snuggled closer and sighed and wriggled and she felt Callie laugh at the her antics. It was almost impossible for her to describe or articulate the lightness that she felt within. The burden of almost unimaginable sorrow had been lifted and she dared to hope that Callie felt the same.

They should both be exhausted.

After only a few hours of sleep, they had finally found each other physically as well as emotionally. Arizona had never really considered how magical their physical relationship was. That they were insanely sexually compatible had never been in doubt but the explosiveness of their reunion blew her mind.

Arizona had felt like a being possessed once Callie had finally let her come down. Her need to taste Callie, to almost devour her, to give her as much pleasure as she could stand, again and again had been Arizona's only thought. It was like a mission to feel, to taste, to experience Callie's climax over and over again.

Arizona finally came up for air and folded her arms on Callie's chest and stared calmly at her for a moment. She felt thoughtful as her gaze lingered and Callie watched her carefully, her beautiful brown eyes open with a hint of a smile. She dropped a kiss on Callie's nose before settling back.

"Don't know why I was so … so blinded by fury, Callie." She started and then stopped. "Well, no. That's not entirely true." she corrected herself. "I know why I was angry but I can't work out why I lost my damn mind in the process. I think had experienced a combination of fury and blind stupidity but the loss of control and my warped perceptions led me down a path of just spiralling anger. And then, I was like a child throwing a tantrum and I couldn't talk myself down off the ledge. And … and then when I came to my senses, I didn't know how to say sorry. I knew … I thought you'd forgive me but … I just didn't know how …" Arizona paused and drew a breath. She was rambling a little and whilst not exactly nervous, really wanted to make sense.

"I know I'm rambling but … do you understand?"

"Not even a little bit," Callie replied calmly, her hand reaching out to cup Arizona's cheek.

Callie's smile had widened but it was both the indulgence and the compassion in her gaze that soothed Arizona. It was the love that she could see in those unforgettable brown eyes that melted her, that re-enforced the sensation of being utterly cherished. Arizona felt her heart overflow.

"But that's ok. I love you and we will figure this out, together, ok?" Callie leaned up to place a soft kiss on Arizona's lips.

Arizona felt her heart turn over slowly in her chest and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears that flooded them. When she first worked out how to tell Callie that she loved her, Arizona recalled another rambling monologue and Callie's patient, loving response.

She closed her eyes for a second and drew another deep breath.

"I'm … I'm trying to explain something that doesn't make very much sense. I don't deserve you but I love you so, so much, Calliope Rodrigo-Torres."

Callie smiled at Arizona. It was her favourite smile, the one that Callie saved for just her, slow and a wide and sweet and sexy.

"I love you too."

#

6 months later

"How did it go?"

Callie wasn't bothered. She wasn't. Not really. But Arizona felt that was important to do this right and had been fretting a little, even though she'd tried to hide it. She also thought that her timing sucked but wouldn't have another opportunity like this for months.

Callie was sitting out on the deck of their villa, overlooking the expanse of darkened and quiet private beach. She found the distant lapping of the waves against the shore soothing and the balmy warmth with the hint of a gentle breeze was just close to perfection. Now that Arizona was back, she had everything she needed and reached out her hand, inviting the blonde to share her plush reclining sofa, where she lounged, a chilled bottle of white wine beside her, waiting to be poured.

Callie leant back a little to peer into Arizona's face. She was a little flushed.

"Seriously, how'd it go?"

Arizona quirked her lips and gave a half shrug. Her gaze met Callie's for a second and then she lowered herself down, snuggling into Callie, entwining their limbs together in a familiar and practiced move.

"It went as well as I expected. Better, even." Her response was a little subdued and Callie looked at her closely.

"Let me guess, she ripped you a new one, threatened to harm you if you ever pulled a stunt like that again and then told you she loved you. Right?" Callie recounted with a grin and felt Arizona twitch slightly in her arms.

"Did Aria call you and tell you what she said? Wait… did you tell her I was coming to talk to her?"

"Nope and nope." Callie smiled at Arizona's half indignant and half mortified question and dropped a kiss on her forehead.

Ever since their reconciliation, Arizona had insisted that she needed to see Aria personally and talk to her about their split, to essentially apologise to her for hurting her sister. Callie felt it wasn't necessary and that it really wasn't any of Aria's business but Arizona wouldn't let it go. She'd been strangely insistent upon speaking with Aria privately.

Aria and Juan's impromptu elopement off the island of Fiji where she was shooting her latest film gave Callie the opportunity to take Arizona on a much needed holiday and gave Arizona the chance to speak with Aria directly. Even though it seemed like it might have been a daunting meeting for Arizona.

"Was it really that bad?" Callie asked, tightening her arms about Arizona and burying her nose into the fall of Arizona's hair. She carried with her the scent of the ocean and the sweet fragrance of her warm body

"No, it … it wasn't bad at all. Aria did tell me off, just a little but she was so kind and loving and … and … and we talked a bit." Arizona squirmed away a little to look in to Callie's face. She smiled sweetly and nodded her head. "It was really good, really. And I'm really glad I went to see her." She nodded her head again. She then took a long look outside, scanning the night sky.

"Really?" Callie asked.

"Mhmm. Really." This time she said it with a little more feeling and Callie squinted at her.

"Babes, you're being weird. Seriously. What happened?" Callie couldn't imagine Aria giving Arizona a hard time.

"Huh? Nothing. I promise. Listen, are you tired? Let's go for a walk." She wriggled out of Callie's grasp and bounced up, waggling her fingers to encourage Callie to stand up with her.

Callie looked out at the darkened night. She wasn't sure what Arizona had been looking at or for but the beach was deserted.

"Now?" she asked, looking up at Arizona and then outside again. "I thought you wanted to chill and drink wine and listen to the waves?"

"I do but it's so peaceful and beautiful and we've been so busy since we got here with the wedding and everything, we haven't had time to … you know … decompress and … and stuff."

Callie gave her a long look as she rose and straightened her hair. "I thought we decompressed and stuff plenty this afternoon, and last night and before breakfast …." Callie waggled her eyebrows at Arizona and sniggered at the eye roll and faint blush that she got in response.

"I don't mean that, Calliope. C'mon, please. I just want to take in the night air." Arizona wheedled.

Callie couldn't help herself chuckling as she picked up a shawl and wrapped it around Arizona's shoulders.

"OK, that's good to know because sex on the beach cannot be as much fun as people make out. I mean, you're gonna get sand everywhere …" she laughed as Arizona gave her a gentle shove in the direction of the steps that led directly down onto the beach.

They held hands as they walked past the pool and around the deck and out onto the beach. There were only a handful of villas on the private island Aria had hired for the 2 week break that she had managed to get written into the contract of her current film. Callie had been a little stunned that she and Juan had decided to exchange vows without the massive fanfare that had been expected. They had simply asked Juan's 3 siblings, Callie and Arizona to come party with them for the duration and witness their pared down ceremony. Called loved her sister more than anything but she wasn't entirely sure that she personally would have been willing to her share her honeymoon with family. She'd said as much to her but Aria just laughed and said that she and Juan had all the time in the world and that the tiny private island off the coast of Fiji was too good not to share. Aria and Juan still had a church wedding and big party for their respective parents and extended family scheduled for later in the year but they'd been given the opportunity to rent the entire island and decided that it was the perfect place to formalise their union and they didn't want to wait. Callie wondered how much of her estrangement from her parents factored into Aria and Juan's decision to tie the knot right now. Aria had waved the question off when Callie had asked.

It was a clear, dark night and there was barely a cloud in the plush, inky black sky. A crescent moon hung high above them, offering a sliver of ethereal illumination. The beach was saved from pitch darkness by strategically placed torches that appeared to be actual flames, flickering an orange glow in the breeze.

Callie slung her arm over Arizona's shoulders and hugged her closely as they strolled barefoot along the beach, the soft sand still warm against the soles of their feet. She could tell that there was something about her talk with Aria that had impacted on her or unsettled her or something but she knew better that to try and find out right now. Arizona would tell her in her own time. Since their reconciliation and Callie's move back to London, they had been putting in the work, going to therapy, being open and honest with each other and it was working. It was working well. Initially, they had tip-toed around each other, both afraid to upset the apple cart by being … themselves but they'd overcome their reticence. They had experienced setbacks and had arguments about the past and their future but, gradually, they had settled into a new normal, a stronger, more honest one and Callie was loving it. All of it. She had been scared that Arizona would retreat back into herself or that she would too overwhelming or smothering but the last 6 months had been an education in more ways than one. Their time apart had changed her. It had changed both of them, she thought, for the better.

Callie knew that whatever Arizona was thinking about, she would share it with Callie when she was ready. Perhaps this walk was just a means to help Arizona think. Or maybe she just wanted a nighttime walk on the beach, either way, Callie's contentment, her happiness was damn near complete.

After about 30 minutes, Arizona slowed her steps and disentangled herself from Callie's arm and looked up to the night sky. Callie followed her gaze as it settled on the moon.

"The moonlight is eternal and beautiful," Callie recited quietly and watched Arizona slowly turn to look at her. Despite the darkness, she could see a shimmering in her eyes.

"You remember me saying that?" Arizona whispered and then shook her head slightly, wisps of hair swaying in the gentle breeze. "Of course you remembered that. Cal, darling, do you know how often I have to remind myself that you're not actually perfect?"

"Gee, thanks." Called laughed. It was something they discussed with their therapist, not putting each other up on a pedestal.

"You know what I mean," Arizona chewed on her lip as she stared into Callie's face, as if memorising every detail.

"But, you are perfect to me, perfect for me and I love you so, very, very much." There was a tremor to her voice but also a calmness, a determination to the set of her jaw and Callie felt her heart rate pick up. She reached out a hand to cup Arizona's soft cheek, her thumb caressing the curve of her lower lip.

"I love you, Arizona." She said. And then she waited.

#

Arizona stared into Callie's face and drew in a shuddering breath. She blinked her tears away and released one hand to fumble in her pocket for a second. Her hands were shaking. That surprised her a little, that she was filled with tremors. But this was probably one of the most important night, one of the most important moments in her life. A few nerves were to be expected. She pulled the item out of her pocket and for a moment wondered if she'd made a mistake and whether she was about to ruin the moment by being facetious.

"I … I have this for you …" she stumbled over her words as she offered the item to Callie. It was a miniature, bright yellow Humvee and fit into the palm of her hand.

Callie's brow drew together for a second and then she laughed softly.

"You drove like a maniac in this, do you remember?"

Arizona nodded, her throat a little dry.

"It … ummm … it opens up," she explained, her voice cracking a little.

"I wanted a full moon but it doesn't really matter." She started to explain, already knowing that the words she had planned weren't going to come out the way she hoped. "It's so beautiful here, you are so beautiful and you're happy and relaxed and … and …" Arizona drew a breath and then another and then gripped both of Callie's hands in her own. " You made me so happy on that trip and … and finally figuring out that the thing that was nestled right next to my heart was my love for you … it was a gift and a revelation and I'm so glad that we didn't squander it …" Arizona sucked in a deep breath and calmed down before she let her mouth completely run away with her. Reaching over, she helped open the custom made miniature Humvee to reveal a plush velvet interior, housing a single, perfectly blue solitaire.

"Will you let me spend the rest of my life loving you, Callie? Will you marry me?"

#

Callie bent over and kissed each of Arizona's hands and smiled at her. It wasn't just joy, it wasn't just happiness that filled her right now. At this moment, Callie lacked the words to describe how she felt. But, almost conversely, every single nerve-ending seemed to be alive, all of her senses were working overtime, flooding her very being with awareness. The sounds of the waves, gently lapping against the shore, the soft breeze on her skin, the scent of the fragrant Tagimoucia, sweet and heavy in the night air, the softness of Arizona's hands in hers, the sheen in those memorable, beautiful blues eyes. All of it, all of this, here and now, was indelibly imprinted onto her consciousness. It would be there forever.

"Yes, my love. Yes, my dear heart. Yes, I love you and I would love to spend the rest of my life loving you and being loved by you."

Callie felt her heart stutter and then speed up and then slow down as a sense of peace and sense of completion settled over her.

Everything she ever wanted was right here.

#

There is no end.