Out of the Woods (The Walking Dead)
PART 2:
Empty:
Merle made his way through the prison to find his brother, Daryl. It wasn't until he looked outside when he would see where Daryl went. He saw Suzy there with him out in the field throwing her knives at the biters wandering around. He strutted towards them, watching as Suzy helped Daryl with his form.
"No, no. You see-" Suzy laughed at how Daryl held his own knife, "This isn't an actual throwing knife, so you don't want to hold it by the handle. The weight won't distribute right, then you're not gonna hit the target. You'd wanna hold that kind of knife by the tip of the blade-"
"What in god's name are you doin'?" Merle asked. Suzy turned her head and flashed him that precious pearly white smile.
"I promised Daryl I'd show him knife throwing," Suzy replied.
"Lemme guess, he sucks ass at it," Merle smirked.
"Jackass," Daryl mumbled, making Merle chuckle.
"He's actually not that bad," Suzy commented. Once she made sure Daryl was holding the knife correctly, she told him to go for it and he tossed it at the nearest walker. Merle gave a whistle when he saw it land right in the thing's forehead.
"Not bad, Darylina," Said Merle.
"I'll tell ya what," Daryl said, "Shit's not as easy as it looks."
"It's all in the wrist and how close or far you are from the target," Suzy replied, "But more than anything else, it's just trial and error."
Merle smirked, "I know all 'bout trial and error."
Merle snaked his good arm around her waist to pull her close. Suzy felt his hand wander downward, making Daryl cringe.
"Eyes on the task, little brother," Merle pointed towards a walker approaching with his blade hand while his regular hand gripped Suzy's butt tighter.
"Merle-" Suzy giggled, "Can you not?"
"Can I not what?"
"You know-" Suzy blushed while Daryl pretended not to see anything and kill the walker with another knife, "I'm trying to be a productive friend here."
Merle pulled her closer and held her tight to where he brought her feet off the ground. His smile was infectious, making her laugh under the hot Georgia sun. Smiles...Brightness...Laughter...
Laughter...Her own laughter echoed in her memory, haunting her; reminding her of a better time...It was broken by the sound of a dull growl from a walker lying there in the grass. Suzy threw her knife at its head, silencing it for good. She stood there with her black poncho sweater covering her, her grown out black hair tied up in a very messy bun, and her small black bag over her shoulder. She motioned over to the dead walker and yanked out her knife from its skull. She stood there for a moment, sniffling her nose from having cried. Her eyes were red, bloodshot, and tired with dark circles underneath. Her skin was covered in various dirt, cuts, bruises, and self-inflicted scratches. The last time she had bathed had to be at least two weeks ago at Sawhatchee Creek. She looked behind her at woods, debating whether or not she wanted to go back in. She couldn't find anything in there for food the past few days. The hunger pangs were starting to get the best of her. She supposed it was time to find houses to loot. She turned around and made her way straight ahead to one of the many abandoned neighborhoods in the area. Maybe she should also take a car if she could find the keys. Hot wiring wasn't an effort she wanted to make.
She picked a house at random, going with a two story basic white house with black shutters. She banged on the front door and waited. She didn't hear anything coming through so she checked to see if the door was unlocked. It was unfortunately locked, making her use her foot to kick the door in. The door swung open with a loud creek. She looked around behind her before going in. She checked every single room, closet, under the beds, anywhere she could think of to make sure no one dead or living was hiding inside. As soon as the coast was clear, she quickly went to check the kitchen. Just being in an actual kitchen again made her stomach feel so hungry she felt like she was going to vomit. Vomit up what exactly? It wasn't like there was anything in there. Cabinet one, nothing. Cabinet two, nothing. Cabinet three, nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Devastated, she kicked the kitchen island, causing a drawer to be forced open. Peeking through the crack of the slightly open drawer, she could make out the shape of cans. Chicken? Tuna? She didn't care. She quickly bent down and opened the drawer so she could stuff them all in her bag. Oh no, she thought upon picking up the first can. With further inspection, she saw what kind of cans they really were.
Chicken & Tuna in Gravy: Chunky...Cat food. She stared at the can in her hands, debating on tossing it across the room. It was a pull-open can, so she wouldn't even need a can opener...The hunger pangs worsened. The picture of the meat, to her own embarrassment, was making her salivate. She was so hungry her hands were shaking. Next thing she knew, she was opening the can and digging her fingers in to scoop out the chunks, gravy covering them as she did so. She devoured it like a wild animal. It was disgusting. It tasted almost nothing like chicken or tuna. It was the saltiest shit she'd ever tasted in her entire life. Gravy covered her fingers and her mouth once she finished. She stared at the now empty can. Did she really just squat in someone's kitchen and eat cat food? Was this really where she was at?
Suzy quickly got on her hands and knees and threw up on the tile floor. She threw up until she could no longer sit up and collapsed onto the floor right next to her vomit. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve to clean herself. Great, now the hunger pangs were back even worse, and now she was risking becoming dehydrated. She didn't have much water left. If she stretched it out, it wouldn't even last two more days. She finally gathered the strength to stand up so she could sip some of her water. Seeing nightfall was approaching, she slowly made her way up the stairs and to one of the bedrooms and locked the door. She looked out the window, seeing more of the walkers wandering the streets. This would be the first time she was under a roof since she was at the prison. How long had it been since then? It wasn't like she kept track. If she had to guess, it had to have been at least two months ago by now. You should go back to the prison, that little voice in her head told her. Suzy shook her head, telling herself no over and over again. I can't, she thought, I can't go back there, not after everything...
Instead of sleeping, she stayed in the corner of the room, curled up into a ball in the dark the entire night. She didn't really sleep anymore. Either she didn't feel safe enough to sleep, didn't feel tired at all, or just wanted to spend the time to cry. Sometimes she'd cry so much her body would make her fall asleep afterward from the exhaustion. At this rate, she had to have only been getting a few hours of sleep a week. She curled up and used this time to cry as she thought about the past. Lucy, her mom, little Maggie, Milton, Andrea, Merle...Her shaking hand scratched at her opposite arm until it bled. She had dropped the habit so long ago. If Merle were there in that moment, he would smack her hand and tell her to stop doing that shit.
When she looked across the room, she could see her niece Maggie sitting there. She wouldn't say anything, she would only sit there and stare at her. Ever since she stopped sleeping, this was happening more and more whether it was during the day or at night. It was a different person each time. Sometimes it was Lucy, her mom, Andrea, Tobias, Angelina, or Maggie like tonight. It was never Merle. She wanted to see him so badly, but he never showed. Why was that? Why couldn't she see him anymore? Sometimes she'd wander the woods looking for him, expecting him to come out of the trees and say he was just trying to mess with her. But he never did. He was just gone, like he never existed. He was never coming back for her.
That part was what hurt most of all...
Suzy left that house the next morning as soon as the walkers cleared the street. There wasn't a single one in sight, making her feel safe enough to check some of the other houses. This had to be a joke. There was practically nothing. In the second house, she found two bottles of water. The third house had a snack box size of Cheez-Its, and the fourth house had a really stale PopTart left in their toaster oven on the kitchen counter. She knew she should ration it, but her stomach was begging for anything she could get her hands on. She stuffed everything down as quickly as she could in the front yard, hoping to feel the least bit of fullness or satisfaction. No, if anything-the slightest taste of food only teased her stomach and made her feel even hungrier.
"No one can make it alone now," Suzy jumped at the sound of Andrea's voice behind her. Suzy turned around and stared at her with wide eyes. They never talked to her before.
"What are you doing here?" Suzy said, "You're supposed to be dead!"
Andrea didn't answer her question. She stared back for a moment until she said with a sigh, "Why don't you go back to the prison?"
"What?" Suzy snapped, "Don't ask me that. You know I can't go back there!"
"Why not?"
"Why not? How am I supposed to walk through those gates again after what happened? Have everyone take pity on me? Stare at me like some poor little girl? I can't be there! Don't you understand? I need to be alone! I need to think!"
Suzy screamed and rampaged around the lawn until she grew tired and fell to her knees in tears.
"You didn't even tell them," Andrea sighed in disappointment.
"Don't talk to me-Don't talk to me!" Suzy cried until she was lying down in the grass, "I couldn't tell them...They would've never let me go..."
She half expected Andrea to come over and help her stand back up. She knew in the rational part of her mind that wouldn't happen. When she looked to her side, Andrea had already disappeared. Perhaps she should just lay here out in the sun until walkers came to eat her alive. She couldn't believe she still had tears to cry at this point. It didn't even seem possible.
"You were supposed to help me-" She whined at Merle as she looked up at the clear blue sky and cried, "You fucking coward...What could you possibly do for me now? You won't even show yourself!"
What would Daryl do if he saw you like this? She knew exactly what he would do and what he would think. That was why she had to leave. She needed to be alone to grieve in her own sort of peace. Rick, Daryl, everyone would think this was a stupid idea and would've tried to convince her to stay. She wouldn't have it. So she snuck away in search for something. For what exactly? She wasn't sure. Merle? Strength? Joy? Freedom after being imprisoned for so long? Or was it some shred of her old self that still existed somewhere deep inside of her? She sat up so she could calm herself so she could keep moving. What would Merle do if he saw you like this? He would tell her to get up and do something. He would stay to tell her stories about his past, whether he was proud of it or not. He would make her laugh. He would tell her to get her goddamn shit together and stop moping around. He could make her smile when no one else could...
A flash of movement in her peripheral vision made her eyes dart ahead. In the distance, she saw what looked like Merle walking away. Suzy blinked a few times as she fought a yawn so she could focus. Merle stopped and looked behind right at her. Her jaw dropped in shock. Was he finally here? She never thought he would actually show. She called out his name as she scrambled to her feet. Was it the lack of sleep that was finally making her see this, or was it the dehydration? Perhaps it was a combination of both.
"Merle!" She called again before sprinting towards him. He smirked at her and turned back to walking away from her. Did he want her to follow him? She shouted for him as she continued rushing to him. He got further and further away the more she ran, like the distance between them only grew in a big stretch while their bodies weren't actually going anywhere. She knew she didn't have the strength to run like this, but she didn't care. All she cared about was catching up to him.
Suzy ran for a good couple of miles before running completely out of breath. She put her hands on her knees as she panted for air. There was no sign of Merle anywhere now. Where had he gone? She glanced up at the sight of a bridge. Underneath looked like a big lake with a strong current carrying the water down stream. Why did he lead her here? She walked over to the bridge and walked along the side, gazing down at the water. How deep did it go? What was beyond the bridge? The more she looked at the clear water below, the more appealing it looked to her. She didn't notice when she stopped at the middle of the bridge and grabbed the rail with both her hands.
The current in the water pulled her into a trance. It was inviting her to join it, wasn't it? Could it really be that easy? Was this the answer? She had to admit, if she had a gun on her person, she probably would've used it to shoot herself by now. She didn't think she had the guts to do it any other way. Other options were to painful and she was in enough pain already. The hunger, the thirst, the exhaustion, the constant state of panic of what surrounded her. She wasn't sure if this was a world worth living in. All there was now was death and more death. What if she did go back to the prison? There was no guarantee everyone would be alive. What was to stop the Governor-who was still out there-from going back to that prison and slaughtering everyone like he did with his own people? Daryl was probably long dead by now. As was Rick, Carl, Maggie, Hershel, baby Judith...They were all dead. There was nothing to go back to. It was easier to accept that as truth now rather than having false hope.
A faint sound broke Suzy from her trance. She looked to her left, hoping she would see Merle again. Instead, she heard the sound of a growl coming up from behind her. She turned around to see a walker snarling at her. She gasped and grabbed its throat to hold it back from her face. Its skin was charred black, it was stick thin with no more hair from possibly being on fire, and its soulless eyes stared back at her as it continued trying to take a chunk out of her. Feeling the strength in her arm already weakening, she quickly grabbed one of her knives to stab it in the head. It fell to her feet once she pulled out the blade and she caught her breath. She looked in the direction she came and noticed there was half a dozen walkers coming onto the bridge. If she hurried, she could outrun them, so she turned to sprint in the opposite direction. When she did, she was met with another group of walkers. She looked in both directions, trying to figure out a plan. What was she supposed to do now?
As the walkers closed in on her, she gripped her knife and began stabbing whichever ones came to close. She tossed her knife at another then another in the other direction. Which way should she go? The way she came? Or onward? She didn't have the strength to kill them all. Maybe she could two months ago, but not now. She had to decide. She rushed over to pull her knives out and put them back on her belt so she could make a break for it on the other side of the bridge. She kicked two at the knees to make them fall and get out of her way. She made it a few more feet before a walker grabbed her from behind by her shoulders. She struggled to get it to release her, but it was relentless. She got one of its hands off so she could turn and try pushing it away or grab her knife. She had it by both its wrists as it pushed her against the rail. She could feel herself weakening the more she fought. She looked down below at the water then back at the walker. She groaned as her back arched against the rail. In a desperate attempt, seeing the other walkers coming for her, she shifted her weight so she could push the walker over the rail. In doing so, it gripped onto her, making her scream and fall right into the water with it.
It took a bit to reach the water. The crashing sound the water made when their bodies made contact cracked through the entire woods. The walker landed first, breaking her fall. Even so, she still felt completely winded and faint. Beneath the surface, she regained completely consciousness and tried swimming to the top. The same walker who fell in with her grabbed at her thigh, yanking her back down. As she fought it off, her lungs burned for air. She kicked the corpse in the face over and over, making it let go. She reached the top and gasped for air. Her body was being carried down the stream so quickly, she didn't know how to get out of it. There was nothing to grab onto to get to shore. Weak, she struggled to keep her head above water. She couldn't swim with or against the current. Her legs gave in, making her head sink below the surface. She couldn't breathe. It was too strong. Her ability to come up for air spaced further and further apart until she stopped coming up altogether. It was just too hard. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Maybe this really was the answer.
Maybe this was finally the end...
Pete threw his gun sling over his shoulder before heading out to the RV by the water. It was time for him and his brother-Mitch-to switch for watch. He climbed up the ladder to the roof of the RV and tapped his brother's shoulder.
"Hey," Pete said, "Why don't you go down and get some lunch? Miranda cooked up some of that deer we caught yesterday. It's my turn for watch."
"If you say so," Mitch adjusted his hat and stood from the lawn chair he had been sitting in. "Hasn't been anything all day."
"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" Pete asked. "Maybe those pits were actually a good idea."
"Hey guys," A voice said from below, "Any of you want a beer?"
Pete shook his head, "No thanks, Martinez. I wanna be sharp for my watch."
"Suit yourself," Martinez replied, "What about you, Mitch?"
"I'm comin' down anyway," Mitch replied, "Might as well."
Mitch climbed down the ladder so Martinez could hand him the bottle of beer. Martinez then climbed up the ladder himself so he could chat with Pete.
"You don't have to take watch all the time," Martinez said.
"It's okay, man." Pete replied, "Anything to contribute."
"I appreciate you bein' here." Martinez patted his shoulder.
"Thanks," Pete said then looked out across the lake in front of them. His small smile then changed into a look of curiosity, "Martinez, I think I see something."
Pete took the binoculars from beside the chair to get a closer look. There was something washing up on the shore. Was it a biter? He saw the body face down on the other side of the lake. It was definitely a girl. Was she dead? She definitely didn't seem like a decomposing corpse.
"Martinez, we got a body!" Pete said with urgency. Mitch heard this and rushed back to the RV. Martinez quickly took the binoculars to see what Pete was looking at. The harder he looked, the more familiar her form became. The black hair, the small backpack still on her shoulders that she carried around everywhere. He lowered the binoculars slowly, his mouth agape in shock and muttering to himself at the realization of who she was.
"Holy shit..."