Thursday morning, Ginny woke up and immediately got dressed and went down to the kitchen to get breakfast before her mind could start torturing her again. She discovered this was effective; it was when she was alone that she struggled. This made her feel better about the prospect of Hermione arriving in a few days and bunking with her. She would get through the inevitable conversation about Harry; she would simply explain to Hermione that she had a boyfriend now and her crush on Harry was in the past. Perhaps, with a little bit of good fortune, she would never have to hear about it again, and she'd have a couple more weeks to figure out how to deal with Harry before he got here. It wasn't going to be easy; lying to Hermione wasn't quite like lying to anyone else. She seemed to have a sixth sense to detect when someone wasn't being honest with her, though maybe it just seemed that way compared to Ron and Harry, who were about as good at reading people as the average troll. Nevertheless, Ginny couldn't remember a time when she had successfully deceived her, but as she had always been a supportive friend, she gave up attempting it. She trusted Hermione completely and never felt it was necessary to keep secrets from her. This time was different, though.
"Morning, Ginny," said Mum. None of her brothers had come down yet. "Sleep okay?"
"Yes," said Ginny. For once it was true.
"That's good," said Mum. "Cereal?"
"Yes, please."
She ate very fast. When she finished, she grabbed a muffin and a cup of coffee just as the kitchen door opened and Sirius walked in. He poured himself some coffee as well, took a seat at the table, and opened a copy of The Daily Prophet.
"You all can clean up the first-floor bedroom today," said Mum, looking at Ginny. "I believe you're sleeping there?"
"That's right," said Ginny.
There was a very loud CRACK! which announced the arrival of Fred and George, who recently passed their Apparition tests. Mum flinched at the loud sound.
"Will you two quit doing that!" she said crossly. "You don't need to be Apparating everywhere around the house!"
"Good morning to you too, Mum," said George.
"What was the meeting about yesterday, Mum?" said Fred casually.
"You know I can't tell you that," Mum snapped. "You're too young. You're not in the Order."
"Was worth a try," Fred muttered to Ginny, taking a seat next to her. Ginny forced herself to smile in response.
Ron arrived several minutes later.
"Morning, all," he yawned. "What are we doing today?"
"Cleaning my bedroom," said Ginny. Ron grumbled.
"You know," he said, "that blasted house elf was in my bedroom at three in the morning. Scared the pants off me."
"We didn't need that mental image," said Ginny dryly.
"What was he doing in there?" said Sirius sharply.
"How should I know? It was dark and I was trying to sleep! Just heard him muttering a bunch of nonsense."
"Yeah, well, he's been begging to be chucked into the loony bin for ages now," said Sirius contemptuously. "It's because of him we have to decontaminate this place, and he seems to be doing more to hamper our efforts than help. He was probably looking for stuff to nick before we could get rid of it."
Sirius turned a page in his paper aggressively, looking angrier the more he read.
"Sirius, what's with all the alcohol in the pantry?" said Ginny.
"Oh, my folks always hosted parties with all their little Death Eater pals," said Sirius bitterly. "They thought they were something special. Some of them were probably just straight up alcoholics too. But it's all mine now," he finished with relish.
Sirius put down the paper and stood up.
"Guess I better go feed Buckbeak," he said.
"Buckbeak?" said Ginny.
"Didn't Ron tell you? Buckbeak's a hippogriff, he belonged to Hagrid. Harry and Hermione used him to rescue me after that traitorous slimeball Pettigrew escaped. I keep him in my mother's bedroom."
Ginny felt an icy pit in her stomach at the mention of Pettigrew's name, though she took a little comfort in hearing Sirius call him a "slimeball".
"Ron, why didn't you tell me about all this?" Ginny said, trying to keep her voice casual. "Dad just told me Sirius was innocent two days ago!"
"We've been a bit preoccupied since the third task, in case you hadn't noticed," he said irritably.
"But you had a whole year to tell me!"
Ron seemed stupefied for a moment.
"We – meaning me, Harry, and Hermione – got the impression from Dumbledore that he didn't want us telling anyone. But come to think of it, I can't remember if he explicitly told us not to…"
Ginny scoffed.
"There were a couple of times I was accidently going to let it slip in front of you last year," Ron continued, "but Hermione always silenced me before I could, and I dunno, I guess we just figured nobody would believe us. The tale was too outrageous."
Ginny thought it was true that she probably would have believed they were off their rocker at the time. She considered what Ron said about Hermione and felt annoyed. She was just thinking about how Hermione was someone she didn't keep secrets from, and now she just learned that Hermione had kept a big secret from her.
They spent the day decontaminating Ginny's bedroom, which contained more bookcases and odd artifacts, including a dodgy necklace that none of them were willing to touch.
"I'll have Remus look at it later," said Mum, after reporting to her about it.
When they walked into the kitchen for dinner, Tonks was there again. Ginny felt a twinge of regret for being put off by her yesterday just for being cheery. It wasn't her fault she was depressed.
"Wotcher, Ginny," she said with a wink.
She entertained them again by changing her features, this time by turning her nose into a pig snout. For the first time in what felt like forever, Ginny gave a smile that wasn't forced.
They headed back upstairs at bedtime, and Ginny suddenly remembered she had not written to Michael Corner yet, despite telling him she'd write every week. In fact, she hadn't thought about him at all since leaving the Hogwarts Express.
"Ron, can I borrow Pigwidgeon?"
"What for?"
"Because I lost my teddy bear and need something to snuggle before going to sleep tonight," she sneered. "I want to send a letter, you prat."
"To who?" said Ron suspiciously.
"Always so nosy," said Ginny, clicking her tongue disdainfully. "I do have friends at school who care about my well-being, you know."
"Someone's got a boyfriend," goaded Fred.
Ginny turned around to face Fred, her face reddening. Was he joking or did he know? Had he seen them snogging at the end of the year?
"I thought she was gonna send it to Harry," said George, smirking. "Ah well, we'll find out soon enough by how many little hearts she puts on it."
Ginny acted without thinking. She pulled her wand out and hit George with the Bat-Bogey Hex she had used on Seamus two weeks ago.
"AH! Gerroffme!" he yelled, as the green bats flew out of his nose and started flapping around his face belligerently. George swatted wildly at them as if they were mosquitos. Fred stared open-mouthed for a moment, then started cackling.
"Finite," said Ginny, pointing her wand at George again, and the bats disappeared.
"Damn, Ginny, I thought you could take a joke!" said George, a mixture of annoyance and admiration in his voice. "What was that?"
"Bat-Bogey Hex," said Ginny, her face very red now. She realized she had probably overreacted.
Ron did not protest any further and handed over Pigwidgeon without a second thought. Her short temper seemed to have alarmed him.
She scribbled out a letter to Michael after going to her room, telling him she was sorry that she hadn't written yet, that she'd been really busy, and that she missed him so much, blah blah blah. Pigwidgeon, who hadn't had much to do lately, bounced off the walls of her now decontaminated bedroom excitedly.
After Pigwidgeon left with her letter, she realized she was no longer very sleepy after the incident on the stairs. What was she going to do now? She was alone, everyone else had gone to bed. Panicking slightly, she rummaged her bag for something to occupy her for a while and settled on a Quidditch book. This worked for a few minutes, but eventually she found she had read the same sentence three times and her mind began to wander into familiar dark territory. She started to panic again, so she crept to the door and opened it just wide enough where she could slip through. She headed downstairs to find something to eat. The stairs creaked as she walked down them – she swore they hadn't been that noisy earlier. She kept as close to the wall as she could, which seemed to help.
At last, when she had reached the kitchen, she lit her wand and quickly walked over to the pantry. She found a bag of stale biscuits on one of the shelves and started snacking on them shamelessly. She looked around for more stuff to eat, but soon found herself in front of the wine rack and other various alcoholic drinks instead.
She contemplated for a moment, then grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey off the shelf, removed the lid, and sniffed it. It wasn't pleasant, and she felt an odd sensation in her nose. This stuff was clearly no butterbeer. She was reminded dimly of all the times she had snuck out to the yard shed to steal Fred and George's brooms when she was younger. This was a few levels up from that, though. She had always been the daring sort, to the point of bordering on stupid in many cases, but that just came with the territory of growing up with six older brothers. She thought of Cho, Scabbers, Voldemort, Tom Riddle, and the anguish that each one had caused her as she stared into the spout of the open bottle, her breathing becoming faster. She paused and listened to make sure nobody was coming, and then recklessly poured some of the firewhiskey into her mouth and swallowed.
She gagged and sputtered as the stuff burned her throat; it felt like she just swallowed a toxic acid. She rushed to the kitchen, opened the icebox, and grabbed the first thing she saw, which turned out to be iced tea. She hastily threw some in her mouth, spilling it on the floor as she did so. The cool liquid soothed her throat and after a moment she was able to regain her composure and clean up the mess she had made. Her face had begun to feel warm, and she had the strange urge to do it again. Steeling herself, she tipped the bottle of firewhiskey into her mouth once more and swallowed.
She was prepared this time, but it still felt like her throat was on fire. She had the iced tea ready and took another gulp, making sure not to spill any of it this time, and the burning subsided. She put the iced tea back in the icebox and went back to the pantry to rearrange the bottles so nobody could tell anything was missing. Double checking to make sure everything else was as she had found it, she grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey and made her way back to her room as quietly as possible.
When she entered her room, she shut the door louder than she intended and stuffed the firewhiskey in the bottom of her trunk, out of sight. She got into bed, but remained sitting up and went back to her Quidditch book. She was reading about the 1982 Quidditch World Cup where there had been a play dubbed the "Immortal Goal" in which Romanian chaser Luca Grigorescu had made what was widely considered to be the greatest, most improbable goal in Quidditch history. She felt all the nerves in her body relax as the effects of the alcohol started to set in in earnest. So this is what being drunk feels like, she thought curiously. She continued reading. Eventually her mind started wandering again, but this time it didn't scare her. It was perfectly fine for her mind to drift. She wondered why she had been so intent on not letting that happen, as it felt like such a silly thing to be worried about.
Over the past few months, she had been trying to decide whether to try out for the House Quidditch team this year, and while she had been leaning against it, she decided at that moment that she would. She was confident she'd make an outstanding Chaser. She saw herself at the next Quidditch World Cup, playing for Britain, being the best Chaser on the team, and Harry, who was her husband of course, cheered wildly for her after every goal she scored…
And now her thoughts were back on Harry. But that was fine, there was nothing wrong with that. Her dream of being Harry's girlfriend, while a mere half-hour ago seemed completely ludicrous and unattainable, not only seemed feasible now, but the easiest thing in the world, in fact…
Cho Chang? Harry would forget all about her when she'd show him how good of a lover she could be. She'd snog him silly the moment he got here, and he would love it. He'd beg her for more, and she would tease him playfully for a bit, denying him what he craved, and then finally give in. And then he'd never think about Cho again. And Voldemort? It was unfortunate that he was back at large, but he wouldn't last forever, and Dumbledore would keep them all safe. The Ministry would find out the truth soon; it was inevitable. There was no point in worrying.
She glanced over at her trunk. She had a strong urge to get the firewhiskey back out and drink more of it, but she realized she didn't have anything to "chase" it with. She considered just drinking it straight, but she felt quite tired now anyway, and more relaxed than she had felt in weeks. Months, perhaps. She laid down and fell asleep instantly.
She woke up late with a nasty headache, her Quidditch book laying open on top of her. She set the book aside and with tremendous effort, forced herself to get up. She felt nauseous and a little dizzy when she stood. Her mind instantly went to what she had thought about last night. Some things were fuzzy, but with a stab of horror, she clearly remembered telling herself that she was going to snog Harry the minute he stepped foot in the house. How could she have considered that anything other than the stupidest idea in the world? She vowed to herself never to touch the firewhiskey again.
She went to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked slightly pale but appeared otherwise normal. She felt a bit self-conscious and wished she were less freckly, but that was not a new thought. A relationship with Harry once again seemed as distant as the moon and she was as depressed as ever. She was still just his best friend's sister.
Breakfast was the normal affair. Fred and George had Apparated downstairs again, much to the annoyance of Mum. Ginny ate her cereal slowly, making sure she could keep it down. After some coffee and orange juice, she started to feel a bit better.
"You can tackle Ron's room today," Mum told the four of them.
"Of course our room has to be last," said Fred grumpily.
"I'll tell you what," snapped Mum, still clearly irritated at them for Apparating, "how about Ron and Ginny can clean Ron's room, and you and George clean your own room. Simple."
And that was what ended up happening, with the result being that neither room was completed that day.
Tonks wasn't at dinner with them this time, and it was a quiet affair that evening. Sirius poked at his food moodily, looking restless. There was a new wizard at the table this time, and he was the grossest, most unattractive wizard Ginny had ever seen. He was squat, unshaven, grubby, and had long, scraggly ginger hair. He reeked of tobacco, but mixed with it was the same scent she had noticed emanating from herself last night after drinking the firewhiskey. She wondered how he could have ended up in the Order. He looked very out of place.
"Who drank all the iced tea?" said Mum sharply. She emerged from the icebox holding the pitcher of iced tea in the air.
"Sorry Mum, I had a craving," said Ginny, without a trace of embarrassment. She scratched her nose with her fork handle absentmindedly. "I know I left some, though."
"There's only maybe half a cup in here," said Mum. "Oh well, no matter, I can just make more."
"What's for dessert?"
"We have apple strudel; would you like some?"
"Absolutely!" said Ginny.
She wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but her sense of taste seemed to be a bit duller than usual, and she found that even something yummy like an apple strudel wasn't very satisfying anymore.
"Who was the new bloke at dinner tonight?" Ginny asked as she, Fred, George, and Ron were in Ron's room playing with a magical dart board they had found among the rubbish that day, which hurled the darts back at them whenever it felt like it.
"Mundungus Fletcher," said Fred, taking aim with a dart and hitting the outer ring. The name was familiar to Ginny. She'd definitely heard Dad mention him before. "Or 'Dung' for short. He's basically a crook, but he's got good connections and is loyal to Dumbledore, so he has his place in the Order. He's usually got all sorts of good stories. I've never seen him so quiet."
"Just the sight of him ruined my appetite," said Ginny, as she took aim at the bullseye, imagining it to have Cho Chang's face. She missed, but she got closer than Fred.
"Apparently he's not trusted by everyone," said George, grabbing a dart. "And Mum doesn't like him at all. But Dumbledore trusts him so that's all that matters."
George chucked a dart that landed between Ginny's and Fred's. It was now Ron's turn, but before he could get a dart off, the board launched the other three back at them, causing them to duck.
Ginny still had a little bit of a headache when she went to bed, and her stomach was still tender. She hadn't eaten very much today, and her anxiety had been high ever since she had woken up. She had been responsible for most of the decontamination of Ron's room (in fact, Ron had barely done anything), which she was fine with, as she needed the extra distraction (though she still bickered at Ron for being a lazy bum because she thought it would seem suspicious if she didn't). Fortunately, she was quite tired from the day's activities, and fell asleep quickly.
Saturday was an eventful day. Ginny, Ron, Fred, and George finished decontaminating their bedrooms in the morning, and Hermione arrived in the afternoon with her cat Crookshanks. Fred and George learned there would be another Order meeting that evening, which meant another go with the Extendable Ears.
Hermione pulled Ginny and Ron into a tight hug when she saw them; Ginny tried to seem just as happy to see her as she was to see them, but it was difficult. Emotions just didn't come for her right now, at least not positive ones, and she still found it hard to care about anything. It felt like she was sleepwalking through each day.
"How did you get here?" said Ron.
"Dumbledore came and got me," Hermione replied. "Side-along Apparition."
"You Apparated? What was that like?" said Ron.
"It felt uncomfortable, like being squeezed through a small tube, really. So what have you all been up to?" said Hermione.
"We've been decontaminating the house," said Ginny.
"Mum's probably going to have you help us out with that, now," said Ron. "She's trying to keep us busy so we won't find out what the Order's doing."
"The what?" she said.
Ron explained to her about the Order of the Phoenix, what the building was and why it had to be used for headquarters.
"…protected by the Fidelius Charm," Ron concluded, "and Dumbledore's Secret-Keeper, so it's basically the safest building possible."
"So nobody can find this place unless Dumbledore tells them personally about it?" said Ginny.
"Right." Ron turned to Hermione. "You said Dumbledore brought you; does that mean he's still here?"
"Yeah, think so. He headed for the kitchen after we arrived."
"Let's go talk to him!" said Ron.
They made their way to the kitchen and sure enough, the Hogwarts headmaster was there talking to Mum, Dad, and Sirius. Sirius, Ginny noticed, looked rather put out.
"Ah, good afternoon!" said Dumbledore, beaming at the three of them. "Now that you three are all here together, that saves me the trouble of having to say this multiple times.
"As I'm sure you're well aware, we are facing difficult times now, and that means there are difficult decisions that will have to be made. I need you to swear to me that you will do what I ask of you, even if I can't elaborate on all the reasons behind it."
Ron, Ginny, and Hermione looked at each other nervously for a moment, then nodded.
"I'm sure you all are going to want to send Harry letters over the summer, and that's fine. I daresay he will be delighted to hear from his best friends, as he always is. I must impress upon you, however, that none of you are to send him any information about Voldemort or the Order of the Phoenix, in case the owls are intercepted. I assume all of you know how Fudge is operating right now. His attitude from the night of the third task hasn't changed."
The trio looked at each other again.
"Harry's not going to like that," said Ginny.
"See, Dumbledore?" said Sirius suddenly. He looked quite angry. "They know that's bollocks too."
"Sirius, you know I have nothing but Harry's best interests at heart," said Dumbledore calmly. "I know this seems unfair to him, but it's vital we don't give the Ministry any chance of finding out what we're doing. Fudge is extremely paranoid and is currently weeding out those who don't share his view that I'm a babbling loon. I don't think I'm wrong to say that Ministry officials finding letters containing information about my leading a secret organization, consisting largely of Aurors, would not be ideal. He will think we're plotting to overthrow him."
None of them spoke for a second.
"Er, Professor," said Hermione tentatively, "surely there must be other ways of getting in touch with Harry other than owls?"
"There are," said Dumbledore, "but none are foolproof, and as Harry lives in a Muggle town, many of these methods would risk violating the Statute of Secrecy."
"So why isn't he here? Why's he still with his rotten aunt and uncle anyway?" said Ron heatedly.
"It is the safest place for him right now," said Dumbledore in a steady voice. "I cannot reveal more than that."
Sirius scoffed loudly. Mum shot him a reproachful look.
"Harry's gonna go berserk if he's kept in the dark, after what he's been through," said Ron.
"I have Order members keeping an eye on him at all times in case he does something rash, so I assure you that Harry will be fine," said Dumbledore. "I expect he will be angry with me, but I certainly won't take that personally. If he gets angry at you, you are certainly welcome to throw me under the bus." The corners of his mouth twitched.
"But sir," Hermione began, but Dumbledore cut her off.
"Please do as I ask, Miss Granger."
His tone was still pleasant, but there was a note of finality to it that indicated the conversation was over. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione looked at each other again, then back at Dumbledore. Ginny noticed Sirius was looking away from Dumbledore pointedly. Mum and Dad looked stoney-faced, though Mum had a trace of defiance about her. It seemed she agreed that Dumbledore was doing the right thing. The three of them turned and left the room, recognizing defeat.