Set sometime in season 1: Hayley's birthday

It was that time of the year again. Michael could no longer tell which day was more painful. The day when he lost all there was or the days when he was reminded of what could have been.

Today it would have been Hayley's 13th birthday. He would have had a teenager on his hands.

Michael wondered every year about what Hayley would be like in this new upcoming age. Would she have been rebellious or perhaps it was a bit early for that but he for sure knew she had a mischievous side hidden in there. He would have absolutely loved it. His daughter was always able to bring out the goofiness in him so they would have had great fun together.

What would she have liked to get as a present? What party were they going to organise for her? What was this day going to look like if March 1st 2001 didn't happen?

Every. Single. Year.

Michael was going through all these motions on the days of Hayley and Elizabeth's birthdays. He couldn't help himself. He didn't have the strength to fight it and to be honest with himself he didn't want to. His little girl was gone. It would be wrong to pretend it wasn't true. He wanted to feel the pain and let himself sit in it. It was the only thing that felt right on those days.

Michael did little things to honor the days to show his girls he was thinking about them. He got their favourite birthday cakes, balloons, candles, and flowers. Anything that felt right that year. And at the exact time of their birth, he lit the candles and released the balloons in the sky. That was the least he could do since he couldn't protect them and ensure they were here.

Michael always did that ritual without fail every year since he lost them. No matter what he was doing he always set that time aside. However this year the universe was fucking him over. He had spent the last few days basically locked up in Division due to Percy's paranoia about the last few ops. He was in the worst mood possible. He was hoping to at least be able to get balloons last minute from somewhere and make it on time. By the hour that was looking to be more unlikely. He was never getting out of this bunker.

He failed. It was 9:18 pm. Hayley was born at 9:23 pm. Michael had locked himself up in the old shooting range struggling to breathe. He hadn't felt like that in a long time. The tremendous guilt of losing them was suffocating him. Not only did he fail to protect them but he couldn't even do one simple thing just to show how deeply he missed them. He couldn't say happy birthday to his daughter. Not in person. That was no longer possible and now he couldn't even do it in any way.

9:23 pm

He slid down the wall and stared into the corner of the room with an empty look on his face. The ping from his phone was barely registered. He was going to ignore it but after a few moments, it registered that it was from the burner he used to communicate with Nikita.

TEXTS

{3

N: I'm so sorry, my love.

She knows how much you love her.

Hope I made it okay enough (can't compete with you)

Go check the laptop I gave you!

No, she didn't. Could she have? He had told her about his ritual. He had told her a lot of things about his family these past few weeks. Nikita and Michael opened up to each other on a whole other level. But this. If she had done what she hinted at, that was so much deeper than anything.

Michael rushed to get the laptop out of the trunk of his car. He had to get it and rush back to the old shooting range. It was the only secure place in Division with no cameras and no possible way for someone to listen in. In just a few short minutes he was back in there with the laptop. Nikita had set up a program on it where they could send over files to each other.

He opened it and there was a new message from her. It was a video. With shaking hands he pressed play and as soon as it filled his screen he started to cry. It was the most beautiful set-up there could ever be. It was on the rooftop of her loft. He used to do it on his balcony. There were balloons, candles, flowers and in the middle a birthday cake with thirteen candles on it. Nikita filmed it and then showed the time on her watch - 9:22. She waited until it turned 9:23 and played a guitar cover of the happy birthday song (because Michael used to play it for Hayley when she was here). Then she released the balloons and whispered "Happy birthday Hayley"

That completely broke down Michael. He wept and wept until he was spent. He couldn't believe he had found someone that would honor his daughter in such a special way. This was not only out of love for him. It was love for Hayley too. Michel couldn't comprehend how a person with such a heart could exist. Maybe he did something right at some point. Enough to grant him Hayley and Elizabeth and enough to give him Nikita now. His girls were out of this world and he would never deserve them.

He watched the video again. And again. And again. Michael couldn't help himself. Nikita had outdone him in the best way. Everything was perfect. She had remembered every single little detail he had told her and executed it brilliantly. He wanted to shout to everyone and everything how much he loved her. There was no way he could spend one more second in here. He was done. Division took enough from him today.

M: I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU

Working on getting out of here

Percy had left the building so Michael had a short window to get away before he got back. He secured an excuse with Birkhoff in case their boss was looking for him and bolted for the car park.

Michael had to stop himself from speeding several times. He wouldn't allow anything to stop him.

Just an hour after Nikita sent him the video he was unlocking her front door. She heard him and was in the hallway all ready to greet and comfort him. Michael rushed into her arms and picked her up. Suddenly he could breathe again. He felt new tears coming in. They were different this time though.

Tears of relief. Michael was safe. He was home. A home where his Hayley and Elizabeth were also welcomed into with love. Michael had never felt so safe in his grief before. He could fall apart right now and Nikita would just listen. She wouldn't try to erase his pain or make it okay. She knew it was never going to be okay because it wasn't. But she was always going to be there for him in whatever capacity he needed her in.

They held each other so tight they could barely draw a breath out. Nikita laid kisses on his temple while he buried his face in her neck, breathing her in. "I'm sorry about today" She whispered.

Michael shook his head no and pulled away from her neck so he could see her face "Thank you for making it special. I'm sure she loved everything you did. Nothing like my impromptu setups" He chuckled through his sniffles. Nikita cradled his face and bumped her forehead against his. She was so happy he loved it. She had been so nervous to do it. They hadn't talked about it.

Michael had texted Nikita earlier that day that he was spending yet another day bound at Division with no way out. Nikita of course knew what day it was and sensed how much Michael was on edge. She wouldn't allow Division to ruin his little girl's day. Nikita already knew everything Michael usually did to honor Hayley's birthday so she got to work.

She was hoping he would join her at some point but when that seemed more and more impossible she had to do something else. She knew how devastated he would be so she did everything he always did for Hayley when the clock hit 9:23 pm. She hoped she didn't cross a line with that. Their relationship was still new but Michael had opened up so much to her. She couldn't just not do something, knowing how much this meant to him.

Seeing his reaction erased all her stupid anxieties about it. Michael was touched by it and absolutely loved it. "I love you so fucking much. I love you. I love you" Michael couldn't stop saying it. It seemed the only fitting thing to tell her.

"I love you too" Now Nikita was the one to shed a couple of tears. Michael deserved none of this horrible pain. She desperately wanted to make it all better. Unfortunately, she didn't have that power but she would do anything to make it at least bearable.

Nikita leaned and brushed her lips against his. Michael instantly kissed her back much more passionately. Nikita giggled, causing Michael to smile too. After a few more kisses she broke away "I moved everything inside so it won't get ruined. We still have time and I left some balloons for you"

Michael hardly waited for her to finish before kissing her again. How was she this perfect and how on Earth was she his. "Come on. let's go" His reaction made her heart burst but she had more in store to make up for his shitty day.

Michael put her down and intertwined their fingers. He wasn't letting go of her even for one second. Nikita didn't mind it one bit. They grabbed the rest of the balloons and headed for the rooftop. Nikita had an idea for Michael to write a message on one of the balloons if he wanted to. He had never done so before but it felt right at the moment.

Nikita was going to leave him to it and give him some space to write the note and release the balloons on his own but he stopped her. He wanted to do this with her. After everything she did today, he felt a connection with her deeper than anything he could have ever imagined. Michael wanted Nikita by his side in everything. So he reached for her hand and pulled her into his arms "Please stay"

"Always" She wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked his lips. Then they hugged and stayed like that while Michael wrote his note. It was such a surreal feeling for Michael. He was still very much in pain from what this day represented but it felt different with Nikita by his side. He was moving forward but that no longer meant a bad thing. Michael would always carry Elizabeth and Hayley in his heart. And now Nikita had created a safe space in their relationship for him to still honor them in whatever way he wanted to.

They released the balloons and sang happy birthday into the sky. This might have been the best thing he had ever done for his little girl since she was gone and it wouldn't have been possible without Nikita.

He looked down at her and confessed "This is the most special thing I could ever do for her now. You have no idea how much this means to me. How much you mean to me"

Nikita cradled his face and whispered over his lips "I do know. Your heart is the most precious and purest thing I have and I'm taking care of it" They both laughed and melted into each other under the glow of the stars.

Nikita then surprised Michael with pizza for dinner. He had told her that was Hayley's favourite birthday meal. Michael was speechless at that point and could only show his appreciation by holding her constantly and laying kisses all over her.

They had dinner while Michael told her stories of Hayley's 5th birthday. She loved how his eyes lit up just from recalling it. Hayley was a very special girl indeed.

They blew out the candles on the birthday cake and retired for the night in bed. Michael snuggled into his love's arms and continued sharing more stories with her. He didn't know what got into him but he felt so comfortable telling her everything there was. He could cry, laugh or stay silent after a particular story and she would just know what to do or say but simply she would just be there for him like nobody else could.

Thank you so much for reading!

I know the updates on here have been really inconsistent. At this point, there is no schedule whatsoever for when I update this story. Whenever I get a chapter done I will post it so favourite the story or follow it to get a notification.

In the meantime, I currently have another ongoing Nikita story that I update every week. You can check it out if you want to read more xx