In which Percy is not doing well, and a surprise visitor is the one to help her. Also- I have finished the writing. I have written the last chapter. And god guys you have no idea how strange it feels. A part of me is like 'No. No it can't be over I gotta go back a write more'. But everything has to come to an end eventually.
Replies:
Ant-death: I am proud of myself and also just there like 'but- but no! No it can't be over.'
Undeath9087: There will be some roughness I will not lie. And yeah. they were told Percy and Leo were coming back and they were like 'Do we want to see the girl that literally just broke our hearts by keeping secrets from us again? Not really. See ya!'
PJ Fan 285: Five. Five more chapters. Which just feels surreal- and I mean five after this not including. And no, no more Nyx. Sorry!
Not Anyone: I don't mind people making requests and suggestions and your idea did make me laugh, though I probably won't. And if I ever do come back it will be after I've finished my other series because dear god you have no idea how hard it is to write two at the same time and try and keep it fairly even.

Settling back in at Camp was difficult,. A lot of the campers, especially the younger ones who hadn't met Percy before, looked at her with wide starry eyes. With a worship she knew that she didn't truly deserve. Oh she understood it. They'd heard shocking exciting tales of her adventures, of course they were excited at the mere thought of getting to meet her. Still it felt strange, wrong even.

Sure she'd done some good things- she wasn't evil she knew. But that didn't mean she wasn't incredibly fucked up. The idea of anyone looking up to her, especially young kids... it didn't bear thinking about. She was too messed up. It was overwhelming.

Which was why Percy found herself retreating into her Cabin fairly often, though she did make sure to head out and spend time with everyone for at least a few hours a day, or she knew people would worry too much.

She hadn't had the talk with her mom yet- gods knew she didn't want to have to have that talk, though she knew it was coming. Either she opened up about what she'd been through, and she'd have to deal with that horrified look on her mom's face, or she could just refuse to talk about it and she'd have to deal with her mom's hurt that she didn't trust her enough to tell her.

As if it was just a matter of trust. Percy felt the urge to scoff. She trusted her mom, of course she did, she just didn't want to hurt her. She didn't want to hurt anyone.

And didn't that thought make her stomach clench uncomfortably. Was she lying to herself? She knew she'd enjoyed hurting Leo's, for the lack of a better word, family. Though they weren't at all deserving of the title.

She let out a groan, running her hand down her face and flopping back onto her bed. Gods but she needed to get up the courage to ask Mr. D if they could continue their old therapy sessions. But most annoyingly he'd only returned to camp the day before- after apparently having a series of meetings on Olympus, so she hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him yet.

It was ridiculous. And to make things worse the two people Percy most wanted to see deep down, were also the two people who probably wouldn't ever want to see her again. Due to her own actions too. She had everyone else around, they were there and she was glad for it, but by the gods a part of her wished she could feel Annabeth's strong arms winding around her, or Rachel's fiery curls ticking her nose when she pressed her face into the other girls shoulder.

Pushing those thoughts away was always hard. Especially since she knew they'd probably been unhealthily co-dependant. After all she'd spent years sharing everything with Annabeth, and then when Rachel had joined she'd slotted into place remarkably easily. Now they were both gone and it felt like she was missing a limb. Especially since it meant that no one was there to comfort her after her nightmares, though Grover often showed up in the middle of the night, armed with cans of coke, and sweets tucked under his arm.

They'd stay up late and Grover would help Percy take her mind off of the nightmares- five times. In two weeks it had happened five times.

Percy could remember one of her previous therapy sessions with Mr. D. She could remember him telling her that often trauma hit later- sometimes years after it happened. Survival mode sort of shut it out, and once the body was able to relax it could hit.

Percy wasn't sure if she was glad that it wasn't happening years after- it was probably for the best that it happened sooner so that she could try and process it. But that didn't make it any less horrible to have to deal with it.

All of this, of course, meant that she hadn't been sleeping well lately, which meant she was tired. She knew that people were starting to notice as well, starting to notice the bags under her eyes, the paleness of her skin. She could feel the worried looks she got from her family and friends and she hated it.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a knock on her Cabin door and Percy stifled a groan, pushing herself up onto her feet, trudging towards the door and opening it, leaning on the door frame as she did, a false smile lighting up her face, "Hey-" she paused, a startled look crossing her face as he gaze focused on the figure stood at the door.

She knew her, of course she did. Except the woman at the door looked an awful lot different from the last time Percy had seen her- her skin was smoother, cleaner now, her blonde hair brushed and shiny and her eyes clear, a softness in them.

May Castellan. Luke's mom.

Percy's breath caught as her memories instantly shot her to the last time she'd seen the woman. There had been just a moment when her eyes had been clear, as they were now. When May Castellan had given her the birthday present that had saved the world.

She felt as if the ring around her thumb was almost burning- though she knew that was just in her head.

"Hi." May's voice was soft and gentle, with a warmth in her eyes that reminded Percy of Sally. "Can I come in?" And Percy stepped aside silently to let the woman into her cabin, watching her close the door behind her before May turned to face Percy once more.

"It's been some time hasn't it sweetheart."

Percy managed a nod. Her throat felt tight and uncomfortable, and she swallowed hard, trying to force away the sudden lump.

It took her what felt like a lifetime to manage to form some words. "Miss Castellan I don't- what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you. And call me May sweetheart. You are my son's baby sister after all. I feel like Miss Castellan might be a touch to formal don't you?"

Percy flushed slightly at that, nodding. "I guess." she watched as May moved towards the bed and sat down. "Why do you want to see me- not that- I mean, I'm not trying to be rude or anything I just..." she trailed off, pursing her lips tightly.

"It's okay." May's laugh was light, reassuring. It kind of reminded Percy of Luke, which made some tension inside of her ease as she moved to drop on her bed next to May as the older woman spoke again. "I know what you mean Percy. We've only really met properly once- and a few times you were stood behind your mother or in her arms as a little one when she brought Luke to see me. I doubt you were expecting me to visit you."

"Well you're not wrong." Percy gave her a sidelong glance. "So why have you?"

"I thought it was time." May's gaze flicked down to Percy's hand, to the ring on her thumb. "I'm sorry. For what happened to you that day." and Percy felt herself stiffen slightly.

"How much did you see? Of what happened?"

"All of it. At first it was so fractured that I couldn't make any sense of it. But that day I saw it all." she reached out her hand, grabbing Percy's and squeezing. "You saved my little boys life. I'll never not be grateful for that Percy, as selfish as it might be. I've often wondered if I should feel guilty. For what I did."

"You mean for sending Luke away with mom." Percy couldn't help the slightly curious tone in her voice.

"Yes." May sighed sadly, "I- I wasn't able to look after him- I saw fragments of what might be, of possible futures- some of them were good, the future he had with you and Sally- the one he has now."

"And the other future." it wasn't a question, "The one that drove you insane."

"Yes." May's smile was pained. "That was... that was difficult. It drove me over the edge, that feeling of helplessness. Then I got a glimpse of this future- of Luke laughing, of him old and gray, of a grown man teaching his own children how to walk. And I took it."

"I'm glad you did." Percy said quickly, "Seriously May."

"Maybe." May hummed, "In some ways life would have been easier for you without my interference. Not in every way but in some." and there was a note of certainty in the woman's voice that told Percy she was speaking from her knowledge of the would be future, not just voicing an opinion.

"I do wonder sometimes. What it would have been like." Percy admitted, "Not because I wish it was but- I can't help but wonder y'know?"

"Your childhood would have been worse." May answered the silent question, "Without Hermes' aid your mom would have married a man to shield you- his scent would have kept monsters away."

Percy blinked, "Is that even possible? How bad would someone have to smell-" she saw the look on May's face and grimace, nose scrunching up. "Gross. And I guess someone who stinks like this-"

"Would not be kind." May finished for her. "You'd have come to camp in time of course. Luke would be here. You'd have seen him as a friend for a time. Before he betrayed you."

Percy couldn't really imagine it- a world where Luke would betray her. Sure there were times he'd get upset at her or disagree with things she did, but a true betrayal was unthinkable. "I don't want to imagine a world where we'd have been enemies." she muttered. "Not ever-"

"He would have been a formidable foe- in different ways than Alabaster."

"Would-" Percy hesitated, "Would Alabaster-"

"He focused on you because he knew you were important to Kronos. He would have been a traitor I think- but in truth you'd have barely noticed the boy and he'd never have gotten close enough to form his obsession with you."

That made Percy bite her lip hard, worrying it between her teeth as she looked down at her hands.

She had to admit, the idea of a world without Alabaster's constant pursuit of her would be tempting. She doubted she'd have been nearly so traumatised in a world like that. Most of her trauma had come from him after all.

Oh her life probably wouldn't have been easy but- but easier maybe. But there was one thing that was praying on her mind.

"What would have happened to Luke?"

At that question May's expression became pained, a sad look in her eyes. "He'd have become Kronos' host. And when the final battle came he'd have died. In the other future he'd have travelled with Annabeth and Thalia." and that didn't surprise Percy, the fates seemed to have a funny way with things like that. "And you would choose to give the dagger he once gave to Annabeth to him, and he would have killed himself to stop Kronos."

That made Percy's heart almost stop at the mere thought of it.

"Then it was worth it." her voice was unsteady. "Everything that I've been through, it was worth it. Luke is alive and happy-and..." she swallowed hard. "I'm not okay. I'm not I know that. But I will be, I just need time to process and heal." she'd been getting better before.

"And to do that you need to face things." May pointed out, "I know what happened that day- and I'm sure there's more that I don't know Percy. I'm sure there are things that you've told no one. That even if you told them they'd never understand, and I know it's hard, but you can't avoid it forever."

"I know." Percy let out a slightly shaky breath, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before she pushed herself to her feet. "I know. I uh- I'm sorry May but I've got something I need to do."

"Oh, and what's that?" Mays lips twitched slightly, knowingly.

"I need to go and talk to Mr. D.