I followed Bobby out into the salvage yard where there was a hole that looked like something exploded out of it. Bobby explained that the okami that Rufus and he had buried there wasn't dead. In the meantime, we took advantage of the hole by dumping the demon's body in it and filling it back in. Right after that, we went back to the house where Bobby pulled out his book that had the information on okami in it and did a quick check. Bobby read how to kill it again and then grabbed his go bag from the closet and called Rufus.

I sat on the couch and listened to Bobby tell Rufus that he needed to get his butt back here. Then they got into an argument about how to kill okami and it turned out that Rufus hadn't stabbed the okami enough times and that it was hunting single white females while they slept when he found it.

Bobby told me to get my stuff from upstairs and banished me back to the panic room at that point with a sandwich and some chips for dinner. Then he took off to take care of the okami, which he thought had gone to the neighboring house to go after his neighbor Marcy, the one who brought him the peach cobbler.

Ugh, stuck back in the panic room again. I hadn't even gotten to sleep upstairs once. The panic room may have been decorated with a bunch of my stuff from when I was with Lisa, but behind the cheerful photos of Kara and me and the pile of stuffed animals, it was still a cylinder of gray steel. I was sick to death of this room. Sick of being stuck in it. Sick of being afraid.

Aside from all that, phone and internet reception was spotty at best with all the steel around me and I'd read all my novels. I hadn't even thought of grabbing some extra books when we were at the library. I didn't want to go to bed yet either because I was worried about Bobby. I figured with all the extra excitement going on around here, I probably had enough time to go up and watch a movie on the television and still have time to get back in the panic room before Bobby got back from killing the okami. Sam and Dean's hunts were almost never short.

I was watching Clueless in the library when the front door opened. I'd barely gotten to my feet with no time to turn off the TV or hide or anything when Bobby came into the library covered in blood and gore. He took one look at me and his face darkened.

"Corner, now," he barked at me, pointing at a corner that I swear he left empty just so he could put me in it. I'd spent a significant amount of time there since I'd started living with him.

"Bobby…" I started, holding up my hands but with no idea what to say to hold off his anger.

"Did I stutter?" he snapped, still pointing.

I dropped my head and went to the corner. He went into the bathroom down the hall. I could hear the water running in the sink as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. I hadn't been spanked since before I got here, despite a myriad of transgressions. Bobby had more patience with my smart remarks than Dean did and I'd basically been on voluntary lockdown the entire time I'd been here. Fear of my own death had kept me mostly obedient, but I thought maybe this time I had finally crossed the line for Bobby. I chewed on my lip and worried.

When Bobby came back out with his face cleaned off, he made me go upstairs with him and stand in yet another corner outside the bathroom up there while he showered and changed, which worried me even more. I fidgeted the whole time and tried to think of good reasons I could give him for not obeying him, but there weren't any. Gee, Bobby, I didn't stay in the panic room because I'm bored of it and didn't want to go to bed yet, and it seemed safe enough for just a couple hours. Yeah, that was going to go over great…

When he finally came out of the bathroom, he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around.

"Talk," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

I bit my lip and couldn't meet his eyes. "I'm sorry," I said.

"Yeah, I know. I don't care. I want to know why you disobeyed me," Bobby said.

I flushed deep red. "I was worried about you…"

"Don't feed me a line of horse crap," Bobby barked. "You got bored and thought you could get away with it. I wasn't born yesterday. Look at me."

I dragged my eyes up from his feet to focus on his face. His eyes narrowed.

"How many times have you done this before?" he asked.

A little relief shot through me. At least I wouldn't get in more trouble for answering this question.

"None, Bobby, I swear," I responded earnestly, my hands in fists at my side. "This was the first time!"

"Well thank God for small favors," Bobby said. "Turn around, bend over, and grab your knees."

Appalled, my eyes widened. "No, Bobby, please! It was just a movie." Regret twisted my stomach into a stiff knot and I fought tears, my lower lip trembling.

Bobby wasn't moved by my tear-filled eyes and put his hands on his hips. "I ain't spanking you for watching a movie and you know it. I'm spanking you because you disobeyed me and put yourself in danger…"

"We haven't even seen another hunter aside from Rufus…" I tried to break in.

"And Rufus told me there are hunters hunting you and they know you're here. You decided on the day I find that out to play fast and loose with your safety and you don't think you earned a spanking? Bend over!"

"Bobby!" I wailed, but I slowly turned around and did what he said, tears already leaking down my cheeks, my nose prickling as more formed. He put his arm around my hips to hold me still against his thigh and brought his hand down hard over the top of my pajama bottoms.

You ever been spanked when you haven't been spanked for a while? It HURT. Or maybe Bobby was just really angry with me. He spanked me for what seemed like forever and it hurt just as much as when he'd used his silver-backed hairbrush. I cried hard, sobbing and gasping in breaths.

"Please, Bobby, please? I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Please stop!" I whimpered through the sobs. "Please? It hurts!"

He didn't answer me, but eventually he finally decided I'd had enough. His hand stopped falling and he pulled me roughly to my feet and into his arms. "You're not this stupid, Jessie. Do not pull this crap again. You get me?" His voice was rough and filled with emotion, sparking my guilt for the first time.

I clutched at his shirt and cried into his chest. "Y-y-yes, Bobby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." His arms were warm and strong around me. He rubbed my back until I stopped sobbing. It was only then that I thought to ask. "Rufus really said the hunters hunting me know I'm here?"

Bobby sighed. "Yeah," he admitted again. "They know, but you're safe with me, kid. At least for now." He pulled away from me and took my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him. "As long as you obey me."

I nodded and he hugged me again. Then he took me down to the panic room and put me to bed. It took me a long time to fall asleep, and when I did, I had nightmares about dying, but I had no one to go to for comfort. I missed Dean and Sam, even though I was mad at both of them.

The next day was quiet. I slept late and Bobby didn't wake me. Once he did, though, I could tell he had a lot on his mind. I thought it might have been about the hunters hunting me, but when I followed him up the stairs to the main house, he went and buried himself in some dusty book, leaving me to my own devices. He did stop researching long enough to make me dinner though.

After dinner, he pushed back his chair and gave me a smile. "Want some cobbler?" he asked, his voice a little regretful.

I smiled back. "Sure!"

He went to get the cobbler and set it on the counter when the phone rang. It was Dean. I watched Bobby, trying to glean as much as I could from what he was saying and doing. I couldn't hear Dean's side of the conversation, but from the look on Bobby's face something was wrong. It couldn't be something too bad though because Bobby got another call and put Dean on hold to answer it.

The other call was Rufus and I could hear sirens coming faintly through the phone. The only thing that Bobby really said was to not swallow it, whatever it was. Then Bobby growled, "Damn it", making it clear that Rufus didn't listen and had indeed swallowed it. Bobby sighed and sat down at the table near me, switching back to Dean on the phone.

I scratched at the table with one fingernail, still watching. Bobby wasn't paying any attention to me, listening to whatever Dean was saying. He apologized to Dean in a soft voice and told Dean he was sorry, but then Dean said something that pissed him off. Bobby straightened, his expression changing from regret to resolve, and he leaned forward with his elbow on his knee.

"Where's your brother?" Bobby asked, pausing as he listened to Dean answer. "Get him," he growled.

A couple moments passed. "What's going on?" I whispered to Bobby. Bobby just shook his head at me as he got up. I half expected him to send me out of the room, but he didn't. He held the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he poured himself a drink. After a moment, he started talking, walking back to the table where I sat.

"Sam, Dean, I love you like my own. I do. But sometimes…" He paused and drank down his whiskey, setting his glass down on the table with a clunk. "Sometimes you two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I ever met!" Bobby started pacing the kitchen as he scolded them. I covered my mouth with my hand to hide my smile. It was always just a little amusing to me when Bobby let Sam and Dean know how he felt about their behavior.

Bobby kept going. "I'm selfish? Me? I do everything for you! Everything! You need some lore scrounged up, you need your asses pulled out of the fire, you need someone to bitch to about each other, you call me and I come through every damn time! And what do I get for it? Jack with a side of squat!"

Dean must've tried to interrupt because Bobby snapped. "Do I sound like I'm done?"

He took a quick breath. "Now look. I know you've got issues," he said. Then he rolled his eyes and lifted them heavenward as he paced. "God knows I know. But I got a newsflash for you. You ain't the center of the universe!"

By now, he was yelling and I shifted uncomfortably. "Now, it may have slipped your mind that Crowley owns my soul!" he yelled into the phone. "And the meter is running! And I will be damned if I'm going to sit around and… and be damned! So how about you two sack up and help me for once?"

He paused then, listening to their answer. Whatever it was seemed to soothe him a little because all he did was shake his head, his angry expression slowly leaving his face. "I need you to go to Scotland," he said. "To Crowley's grave." He paused as they said something else.

"You're gonna dig up his grave," Bobby said, then paused. "I don't know where it is yet. I'm gonna summon his son and find out. Then we're gonna use his bones as collateral for my soul. He gives me my soul back, you don't burn his bones, he doesn't go up in flames." He paused again. "There's a ring I need to summon the kid, but Rufus swallowed it before he got arrested. I'm working on getting him and it back."

They talked a little more, mostly Bobby explaining that they'd work on the timing once he had the ring, but first they needed to get to Scotland as soon as possible. I chewed on my nail. Dean wouldn't like that. He was gonna have to fly and he was afraid of flying. I didn't know why it scared him, but I'd never been on a plane. Didn't seem to me to be that much different than a car but in the sky. At least in the sky, you don't generally have much to run into…

Then Bobby turned to me. "You wanna talk to your dad?"

I nodded. I was still mad at Dean and Sam for leaving me here, but them getting chewed out by Bobby made me feel a little sorry for them. Bobby handed me the phone and I asked them about the lamia hunt. Dean described it in sketchy details and Sam didn't say much at all. They asked me what I'd been doing and I told them I hadn't been doing anything. I definitely didn't tell them about getting into trouble with Bobby that morning because Bobby hadn't mentioned it to them and I didn't need another lecture. I also didn't tell them about the okami or that Bobby had told me that the hunters had figured out I was here. Bobby had said I was still safe and I didn't want to distract them from helping Bobby.

The whole conversation felt stilted and fake. My stomach hurt by the end of it. I missed them so much and I hated being away from them. I realized that I didn't feel like it was safe to tell them things anymore because they didn't care. If they cared, I'd be with them, not stuck at Bobby's. And that thought bit into me too, because Bobby was taking good care of me, but he wasn't Dean and Sam. His house wasn't the Impala. I wasn't home and I missed home. I felt like a traitor to my entire family, Lisa and Ben, Sam and Dean, and Bobby. Even Jody. I was keeping things back from everyone. I was a danger to everyone. I didn't belong anywhere. No one really wanted me.

I told Sam and Dean I loved them and hung up, handing the phone to Bobby. "I'm going to bed," I told him, swallowing against the pain in my stomach and pushing back from the table. "I don't want any cobbler."

Bobby hung the phone up, understanding in his face. I sighed. He thought he understood, but I really, really didn't think he did. I hugged him around the waist, burying my face in his chest. "Good night, Bobby," I said into his shirt.

"Good night, kid," he said. When I let go, he ruffled my hair and a pang shot through me as I remembered that Dean did the same thing. Everything was ruined forever. Nothing would ever be the same again.