Chapter 35

I said goodbye to Charlie, with promises that I'd bring 'Nessie' over soon. He hugged me one last time, not wanting to leave me behind. I watched him drive away; I hated seeing him go...

The red rabbit was gone, and he didn't come back that night, which was probably a good thing. Everyone was still sour after what he did. My embarrassment returned when I re-entered the house.

"That went well," Carlisle said as Edward rubbed my back.

"I'm really sorry for what happened," I said. "I didn't know he was planning to do that or-"

"It's alright," Alice said. "It's the dog I blame,"

"It's good you and Charlie could see each other again. At least what we caused became undone, in a way," Carlisle said warmly. I nodded, getting the gist of it. Though I wished I could get Renee to get off his back, send a note. I had no idea she was so hard on him.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, it's alright," I lied. "So, we won't be meeting with the others again?"

"I assume Jacob will fill in Sam and the elders on what we've discussed here. We'll wait for their response, but patrolling the forest, for now, is most important in any case," Carlisle said.

I nod. Maybe Jacob will come to update us... I shift on my feet and comb my hair back with my fingers. At least we have a plan. But I still had Renesmee to think about. Would Jacob go along with anything we decide? I thought, looking at Renesmee in Rosalie's arms.

I hope the wolves ream him.

Night fell. Jacob didn't call or text. His words and behavior bothered me like thorns constantly pricking my arms as the day progressed. My anger would return here and there. I slammed the doors of the rooms I went into and angrily picked up Renesmee's toys. I was lucky meeting Charlie turned out alright, but I was forced into it. I didn't appreciate that.

What if it ended badly? Gave us more problems than we needed? What if he acted as the Chief of Police and took action and we still had to protect Forks and fight the newborns through that? If they had to break out of jail to do that?

"Shhh..." Edward sounded in my ears. I was trapped in his embrace with the toys in my grasp.

He said nothing, and I relaxed, leaning back and resting my head on his shoulder. I sighed, wishing for a second that we could enjoy family life bliss.

"I really do want to kill him for what he said to you, it was uncalled for. Beyond over the line," he said.

And Jacob was part of that family.

"If I became a vampire... would I be dead to you?"

"Might as well be."

"People are dying because of you!"

"Jacob's just... being a werewolf." His being worried for Renesmee's safety was something I could understand but not his possessiveness, how he's showing it so soon. She was still a child; nothing could happen now. His imprinting didn't mean he owned her, but did it have to drive a wedge between us? He was important, is.

Maybe I really didn't appreciate his feelings enough or asked about them.

"Did you see what was going through his mind at that moment?" I asked him. I wondered if he could really hate me that much, forgetting the past.

"It was strange...he wasn't really thinking, only acting. Even his mind was muddled like a film was covering thoughts, as clear as his words were. He had one goal in mind." he explained.

"I'm not sure what to do about him. He doesn't love her like that, I know that." I started. But I wasn't a mind reader, technically.

"I wouldn't have let him live if he did. Still debating it," he said, rocking us in place. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I knew Edward would know.

"Imagine you met me as a baby?" I wondered. "Mm. No, thank you."

"Baby bella...?" he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. Personally, I didn't want him to see me in diapers and drooling.

"Edward." I chided. "Was I crazy for being too lenient with him before? I must have been..."

"You love him. Not as a romantic interest...but you love him deeply. Of course, there's a fair amount you'd allow no matter how displeased you are. You accepted me,"

"It's different,"

"Not really."

"Am I just a pushover, then?" I ask. He threw his head back and laughed.

"You're kind. Too kind," he said. "It's how you melted me."

"He feared never seeing her again. I can sympathize," Edward said.

Maybe he's, or was, scared she'd be turned, and he wouldn't be around to be with her before then. I wasn't going to do that, that way. I don't think so. Not unless he stood in the way, but he wouldn't, right? Doesn't he want her to live? And I want to be there for her, us with Edward and the others too. We should never be apart; I'd like not to.

"Mmm," I hummed.

With his arms loose I was able to toss her toys into the chest. She'd be a teenager when it happened. Would I invite Jacob to see her before it did? Should he be around to see her grow up?

"How cruel it is to find your soul mate and she's a baby. Crueler still to never find them at all," he said, staring at me. I turned to watch him, the warm light of Renesmee's room illuminating him. The only other thing alight in the dark.

"I know," I say. I could understand. But I had to figure it out, still. Some boundaries- Edward wandered closer, digging his fingers into my hair, supporting my head, and pressing his forehead against mine.

"How lucky are we, to have met at all...?" he breathed.

"What are you-" Before I could ask what sudden thoughts weighed on him, he kissed me, caressing my face with his, nuzzling me softly and stealing my warmth. Would you miss this? I thought.

"Edward... Do you really think turning me isn't a good idea?" My mind raced thinking of what any delay could mean.

"No... I just-I don't want you making such a decision with a sort of sword over your head," He said, resting his head against mine. "It's not something that can be undone-" I leaned back from him.

"I thought it was clear that I knew what I was getting myself into?"

"You did, what I meant was, I don't want you forced into it and you making yourself ok with it. No need to rush it,"

I huffed, knowing it was the truth. I did want to rush it. I was scared. My disheartened expression returned.

"Jasper was right anyway. What if I was more trouble as a newborn?"

"We'll consider it again, after the fight," Edward said. I nodded.

"Come. I have something to show you,"

Edward led me to his room by my hand and stopped by the bedside. He turned to open the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed.

"I obtained papers for Renesmee," He pulled them out of the drawer and turned to give them to me.

I sat and took the stack from him. Flipping through it, I saw that there was a birth certificate, a fake national identifying number, and a passport on top. All of them had "Renesmee Carlie Cullen" written as her name, her description but a different birthdate to make her the age she looked.

"Oh, my god..." I grinned, holding gold in my hands.

"Now she can go to school in the future. They will have to be redone, but I wanted to have the birth certificate made so... it said we were both her parents," he said softly. I looked between him and his gift.

"It's perfect," I said, nodding.

"I'm glad you like it,"

"But...what's the passport for?"

"It's...just in case. I wasn't thinking about 'what if we don't win', because I'll end it even if it kills me," he said, pulling a second passport out and laying it flat on top. It was for me.

"But I want to make sure you could both make it out," For the rendezvous plan. Quickly the moment saddened me.

Mine said 'Cullen' as well, that would have made me happy. Driving to places would be enough, but if I had to leave the country? If Victoria ran us out of this one? I was still a missing person. If we didn't kill Victoria now, would we be running forever?

"For the most part, I wanted to prove that I had every intention of being involved with you and Renesmee," he added.

I heard him, but a small part of me felt guilty. It was like I really had the intention of taking Renesmee away, even though it wasn't me who had the documents made. Because the truth was, I would. Once the Cullens allotted their time of three years to live somewhere, I'd move Renesmee with them. Jacob couldn't follow.

He would have to be okay with it, and he wasn't right now, I realized. Was I? After I've reconciled with Charlie?

What would the future look like, how would I keep in touch with Charlie after we left Forks?

"Thank you," I said sniffling. "They're beautiful,"

"Why are you crying?" he said with furrowed eyebrows.

"I don't know," I said with an embarrassed smile. "But don't die trying to protect us. We'll be okay,"

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