(A disheveled Hermit comes back to the computer bringing out a new flash drive and a bottle of root beer which he got drunk on. He stares at the little audience that remains.)

Just shut up. Just shut up right now. And mentor Alias, forgive me…

Hina of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Chapter 8
Services

Hell. That would be the perfect way to describe Keitaro's current situation aboard the Flying Dutchman. A storm unlike any other reigned, every last person of the crew was working on some trivial matter, and to top it all off Davy Jones was playing an organ in his room, the sounds bellowing throughout the ship.

In said room, steam rocketed from the pipes and the wood which constituted to keeping the room dry. At the organ, Davy leaned before the keyboard. His tentacle beard moving about and even his crab claw were hitting the keys with expert precision. He cast his pain filled eyes upon something sitting on the music rest before him. It was a simple little trinket, shaped like a heart and depicted a Roman goddess on it. Across the image was a single word: Amat. Davy growled in anger at the memories as he continued to play.

On deck, the crashing waves would always splash down upon the crew, as if the rain didn't make them wet enough. At the moment, the main action was the 15 or so people, the two Urashimas amongst them, occasionally shouting 'Heave!' as they were pulling a cannon up. However one end was becoming very unsteady. Thankfully for the plot, it was noticed.

"Secure the mast tackle Mr. Urashima!" one of them shouted.

Naturally two heads responded, each leaving their post and running up the stairs. They came up to the slowly loosening round of rope about the pulley, each trying to do the job.

"I'm sorry but please get out of the way!" Keitaro shouted.

"By all means, you first kid!" Bootstrap shouted back.

Neither relented.

"Let go will you?" Bootstrap shouted again as he looked at the man. Immediately he stopped. His mouth was left agape as the face clicked in his mind. "Keitaro…" he whispered as the remainder of his grip failed. The lack of strength from either of them caused the rope to go, Keitaro still hanging on as the cannon crashed back onto the deck and caused the organ music to suddenly stop.

The seamen were… he…heh… heh heh! Seamen. Anyway, the grotesque sailors were angry as the one from before noticed the man still strapped to the rope. "Haul that weevil to his feet!" he commanded.

The sailors yanked Keitaro up and held him to a mast as the back of his clothes were ripped open to show his skin. The sailor then raised a flail whip, ready to do a reenactment of the whipping scene from 'The Passion of the Christ'. And believe me that was bloody.

"5 lashes to remind you to stay on em!" he shouted. He was about to swing down if Bootstrap hadn't held his arm.

"No!" he shouted with more determination in his voice than there ever was before.

"Impeding me in my duties?" the sailor said crossly. "You'll share the punishment."

"I'll take it all!" he replied sturdily.

"Will you now?" a new voice asked. The crowd parted as Davy stepped up to see the spectacle. "And if I may ask, why would you perform such an act of charity?"

Bootstrap hesitated a bit before answering. "My son. That's my son." The reply caused so many heads to turn, Keitaro included as he took a good look at his savior.

However, the mood was broken by something even more unexpected: Davy's laughter. "Well, what are the odds of this?" he asked with a laugh as he was handed the whip. "Well then, I believe it was five lashes that are needed." He then held out the whip to Bootstrap with his tentacle coiled around the handle.

It didn't take long for Bootstrap to put two and two together. "No. I won't!" he gasped at the sight.

"The cats out of the bag Mister Urashima," Davy added with a smirk. "He will be whipped, be it by you or someone else." Bootstrap still didn't respond. "If you please bosom," he decided as began to hand the whip.

"NO!" Bootstrap shouted as he took the whip. He looked at his child's back and then at the whip. His lip seemed to quiver as he stared. He then stuck. Keitaro bit his lip as the pain erupted through him, but he did not shout. He has been stuck by energy blasts, missiles, large metallic onions, planes, and even the simple fist. The whip was piercing his skin, that fact was granted. But it still wasn't anything compared to anything he had in the past.

The only thing left to note was the final spectator that watched on. Davy's eyes were once again clouded over, seeing the pain brought by a father's love. His tentacles flailed and his face twitched. Memories. If they were part of the heart, then why are they still bothering him?

Keitaro was tossed carelessly down the steps to the deck once the 5th whip left its welting red mark. The sailors above simply cheered and laughed as the men of the OC Graveyard. The only spoken to him by the crowd was that he had it easy.

"Keitaro," Bootstrap whispered as he ran to the boy, trying to help him to his feet.

"I don't need your help!" Keitaro spat as he staggered to a set of pulleys. Not even his real father had been so harsh on him.

"You have to understand," Bootstrap pleaded as he came to his son again. "The boson here is a demon with that whip. Every time he strikes, he always takes flesh off of bone."

"So you're trying to say that you whipping me was a mercy?!?" Keitaro shouted.

"…Yes," Bootstrap answered solemnly.

Keitaro stared, his anger wading away as he saw that he was telling the truth. And such was the meeting of Keitaro Urashima of Love Hina and 'Bootstrap' Kei Urashima of the pirate world.

"100 years before the mast." Bootstrap and Keitaro were walking together below deck as Bootstrap talked. "Losing who you were bit by bit every day until… well… just look at Wyvern over there," he said pointing to the humanoid figure that seemed to be fused to the wall, completely unmoving and holding out a lit lantern for light. "Once you make an oath to the Flying Dutchman, you can't leave it. At least not before you pay your debt. Kind of like not paying for a restaurant meal."

"But that's the thing: I made no oath," Keitaro insisted.

"Then you have to get out of here right now!" Bootstrap said frightened.

"Not yet." Keitaro then drew out the cloth with the key on it. "Not until I find this."

Then to their surprise, for the first time in years, Wyvern opened his eyes and seemed to break off of the wall seeing the key. "The Dead Man's Chest," he whispered.

"What do you know about it?" Keitaro asked.

"Open the chest with they key, and stab the heart," he recited. "No, don't stab the heart! The Dutchman needs a living heart or there'll be no captain. And if there's no captain, there's no one to have the key!"

"So the captain has the key?" Keitaro concluded.

Wyvern just nodded as he began to lower himself back into the wall.

"Where's the key?" Keitaro asked to clarify.

"Hidden," Wyvern simply answered.

"Where's the chest?" He asked.

"Hidden." And so Wyvern went back to his previous form, once again nothing more than an ornament on the wall.

The docks of the OC Graveyard were easily the calmest places of the entire world. But one must always put the alarms on when visiting, because you never know when someone might steal it just because you left the doors unlocked. There was major action near one ship in particular however as 99 people were boarding onto a black ship with black sails.

Su couldn't help but stare in astonishment as Alias (still in his casual attire,) was marking things on a check board.

"96, 97, 98, 99!" Alias counted off. "There! See Su, it's like I said before. OC's will do anything to become real people these days."

"But what about that dog soul you promised?" Su asked as supplies continued to be brought onto the ship.

"Don't worry," Alias reassured. "One of the people has a dog demon sealed inside him. Since demons are technically souls, it counts! Yay me! Now let's get back to the pirate world. We're bound to find someone else along the way."

A short distance away, Naru arrived to the dock, Kentaro staggering behind her. Near the entrance, she met up with her followers.

"Well it's about time you got here!" Sarah huffed as she leaned against a barrel. "From what we can see, the dork's ready to shove off to sea!"

"The important thing is that Naru-sempai is here. Now, how are we going to approach Alias?" Shinobu asked.

"Now that's easy!" Naru insisted. "Just let me do the talking."

The quartet turned quintet stepped onward with mixed reactions. Shinobu was worried of what might've happened to Keitaro. Sarah was angry and impatient seeing Su was just a leap and a tackle away. Kentaro was staggering and just wanted to sleep on an actual bed again. Ema was nervous and confused. Something about Alias was just not registering well with her.

"Unknown Alias?" Naru called.

"Want to join my crew? Welcome aboard. See Su? Soul number 100. Let's go," Alias said quickly without even glancing over his shoulder.

"I'm here to find the man I love," Naru finished.

Immediately Alias stopped mid-step, went rigid, and then his mind played random noises including a breaking and then crashing car, a train running over a pig, a ceremonial goat bleating, and then something with a taco. I can't remember.

"I am honestly and sincerely flattered. But there are three main problems with that," Alias announced. "First, I don't believe in phee-do-phile-ism or whatever it's called. Second, there are hundreds of people far better than me. Finally, my first and only loves are for my God, and Fanfiction." He then lowered his tone to speak to Su. "If they try to get back on, fffvvvt!" he illustrated by dragging his thumbnail across his neck.

"I meant Keitaro Urashima," Naru corrected.

Alias turned around confused to stare at Naru with a raised eyebrow. He then rushed up in a nanosecond and seemed to hover in the air, staring face to face and abnormally close. "…………Have I threatened you before?" he asked as his head tilted.

"I'll give you a hint, pirate pervert," Naru muttered angrily, trying not to gag from Alias's bad breath.

Alias's eyes shot open in realization. "Naru Narusegawa!" he gasped. He shot like light to Su. "Hide the sake." He then shot back to Naru, thankfully not so close. "So then, I take it the other beautiful ladies behind you are more of the Hinata Sou tenants. Allow me to guess! Now, let's see…"

He first stared at Sarah as she stood defiantly. "Hmm… blonde hair, defiant look, mischievous glint in blue eyes, you must be Sarah McDougal! Su's gonna be happy to see you again!" Sarah just 'hmph!'-ed

He then stared at Shinobu. "Hmm… oh my oh my! This voluptuous beauty must be the ever so kind Shinobu Maehara! Time has done you well!" he exclaimed, causing a blush.

Finally he cast his glance at Ema. Their eyes locked and they stared. And stared…and stared… … Let's look into their thoughts again, shall we?

Hmm? Oh! Oh this is romantic!

Oh great. One dork likes another!

Hmm? Perhaps I can use this to my advantage.

Oh great, he's staring at me! I must look worse than I thought!

Dear pfargtl… SHE'S HOT!

Dear god I hate hangovers!

After a few more seconds of staring, Alias finally spoke. "I don't believe we met yet. But then again, I always was terrible with names and faces. The infamous Captain Unknown Alias, captain of the Black Tama, and pirate author parody master. At your service," he introduced as extended his hand for a greeting.

"Ema Maeda," she replied as she shook his hand.

"Pleasure!" he said in reply before backing off. "Now listen, I have to say this right now, those clothes just do not fit you at all! On my ship, it's either a dress or nothing at all. Su gets to be excused because she's first mate. And I unfortunately don't have any dresses in my cabin."

He then was staring down at a mighty fist, a hot frying pan, and a large statue held by three of the girls.

"But those will do just fine for you if you want!" he panicked with a forced smile.

"Now listen here Alias," Naru said sternly. "I know Keitaro came to find you. Where is he?"

Alias's face fell as he mentally chose his words. "I'm sorry to say this Naru, and don't shoot the messenger here. Due to a series of unforeseen, unexpected, and un-having-anything-to-do-with-me circumstances, Keitaro Urashima has been shanghaied and press ganged into the employment of Davy Jones."

The girls blinked. "Davy Jones?"

"Oh please!" Kentaro shouted before puking again into the water. "The devil of the seas? The captain of the Flying Dutchman?"

"You look terrible Sakata. What are you doing here?" Alias asked.

"You hired me," he answered gravely. "I can't help it if your ship's not up to standards you unoriginal, parody mastering-"

"You smell funny! MMM!" he taunted sticking his tongue out.

"Alias," Naru called tiredly. "All I want is to find Keitaro."

Alias was about to scoff until something clicked. He stared back at Naru. "Are you sure that's what you want most?" he asked mystically. "Cause the way I see it, you'd want a way to save Keitaro more. After all, if you find him, but don't have a way to save him, then you might as well as look at something in a glass case."

"And you have a way of doing that?" Naru asked skeptically.

"Of course!" Alias answered happily. "You see, there is a chest."

"Oh puh-lease!" Kentaro moaned.

"Ralph on the other side of the deck kid," Alias commanded. "A chest, of unknown history and origin."

"Which contains the still beating heart of Davy Jones himself!" Drill Bit said as he and Calvin passed by carrying a box of supplies.

"Wait hold on," Naru protested, "why do you have those two working for you? I thought they betrayed you?"

"Yeah, but their hard workers. It's hard to find people like those lately," Alias answered with a shrug. "Anyway, whosoever possesses that chest has the perfect leverage to have Davy do whatever it is he or she wants. Including releasing a member from his employment."

Kentaro stared hard. "You girls don't actually believe him, do you?"

"As long as I'm with Su, I'm fine," Sarah shrugged.

"I'll do anything to save Keitaro," Shinobu said.

"I guess I'll go with you," Ema said timidly.

Naru's face remained unchanged. "How do we find it?"

Alias smiled once again. "We use this," he said with a flourish of his hands, revealing a certain something. "My compass. This compass is of a very special state."

"Special as in broken," Kentaro spoke, earning a group glare.

"Granted," Alias continued, "it does not often point north. That's because this compass does not point to a specific direction, it points to whatever the holder wants most in this or any world."

Ema's eyes widened. "Are you telling the truth?"

"Every last word dear Maeda. And what you want most is the Dead Man's Chest of Davy Jones," Alias said as he drew out Naru's hand and placed the closed compass into her palm.

"To save Keitaro," Naru corrected.

"By finding the Dead Man's Chest of Davy Jones," Alias finished. He then opened the compass and snapped back away a couple of yards with his index fingers together in a cross.

Naru looked down at the compass, deciding that Alias was right. If she wants Keitaro back, she'll need to get that chest. The compass arrow then suddenly stopped at a direction and glowed green. That's when she noticed that all of them were now surrounding her and staring at the compass. Alias included.

Alias stood back up before turning to the Tama. "SU!"

"Aye Captain?" Su shouted back from the deck of the Tama.

"Activate the Gummi Drive! Take us to the pirate world! WE'VE GOT OUR HEADING!" Alias shouted happily as he shook his cane.

"Finally!" Su shouted happily as she leaped into the air. "Cast off the lines! Raise anchor and get ready to set sail! Come on Sarah! I'll show you how to drive the ship!"

Alias smiled as he took the compass and tossed it to Su for the Gummi Drive, Sarah now racing up onto the deck. Alias then turned to the final passengers and bowed like a waiter. "By your lead ladies!" he said happily.

They all went off to the ship, the only one left being Kentaro. He grumbled in anger until he was suddenly handed a live pig by Calvin. "Welcome to the crew former Commodore!" he cackled before moving on. Kentaro sighed at how far he had fallen before going onto the ship.

Construct stood in his office, staring at the finishing map of the hyperspace system and a certain sword that he had picked up from a world. "You know, there's always something amazing about knowing the ways of the worlds and your place in them. Would you not agree governor?"

Hinata Urashima stood with cuffs on her old wrists. She stood strong and unmoved. "Yes, I would. This is why I feel sorry for your misjudgment of your place."

"The sword of opinion is often outdone by the sword of fact Governor Urashima," Construct replied. "Such an example is how your opinion is about to be outdone by my knowledge of Naru Narusegawa's whereabouts."

"Where is she?" she asked angrily.

"She has recently been seen in a pirate author port amongst OCs and The Unknown Alias himself," Construct reported. "It could only be assumed that Keitaro is also amongst the fugitives from justice."

"In your rule there is no such thing as justice," Granny Hina spat.

"Nonetheless," Construct continued, "our ships will have no choice but to pursue Alias and take him down, alive or dead. This also means that anybody amongst him might be killed in the crossfire."

Hina spiritually deflated. She lost, and they both knew it. "What do you want?"

Construct came before her, the keys to her cuffs in his hand. "Your control as Governor of the Love Hina world, your influence in the Fictional Worlds court, and your loyalty to the Fanfiction Association."

"To you," Hina corrected.

Construct was unchanged. "Shall I remove the handcuffs?"

Hina unwillingly raised her wrists. "Do what you can for my grandson and his fiancé."

Construct smirked as he undid the cuffs. "See Governor Hinata? Every soul has a price they will accept. Even if it's for something they couldn't hope to sell."

Date of Update: 1/23/2008