I want to apologize for the long delay in posting an update. Real life has been beyond busy and it of course takes precedence. I'm not sure how much I love this chapter so reviews would be helpful. I have quite a bit planned for this story; it's nowhere near finished yet. So hang in there with me.

Please note that each and every review warms my heart even if I don't personally respond. All of them make my day and I often reread them to be reminded to keep going when the story gets stale.

Ziva concentrated on drying the dishes as Jackson handed them to her. She glanced out the window where Gibbs was repairing a piece of fence that was broken. After a moment she realized Jackson was watching her and she suspected she knew why.

"You can ask Jackson. Though I am surprised Jethro has not already spoken to you about it." She faced him while drying the last dish and then her hands.

Jackson glanced outside and then back at her. "I figured it was something I should ask you, I didn't mean to be rude. At first I figured it was work but when neither of you said anything, I wondered."

Ziva glanced down at her hands briefly. "It is not rude, I know you are just curious." Touching gently the wound on her face she hid her wince. "My father is used to being in charge of my life. This" she pointed to the bracelet on her arm that he also hadn't mentioned. "Is a very old tradition in my culture and wearing it is equal to if not more significant than a wedding ring in yours. He is strongly opposed to it. When he saw it he was not pleased. And he made sure I knew it."

Jackson felt his fingers tighten on the coffee cup he'd picked up and had to roll his shoulders just to fight the anger he was feeling. "He hit you?"

Ziva managed a bitter smile, "It is not the first time it has happened Jackson but I can assure you it was the last." She glanced outside again and smiled as Gibbs sanded a spot on the fence he'd just repaired.

"Was my son there?" Jackson saw her raise an eyebrow and smile mischievously.

"Indeed he was, though my father did not know about us until after he struck me." She saw Jackson smile and then try to hide it. "Exactly, to say the least it was tense. It is as I said for certain that Eli will not be a problem again."

"He's still breathing?" Jackson followed her toward the back porch.

"We were at NCIS and only a few people there are aware we are together." She saw his surprise and sank into a chair knowing he would need and deserved an explanation. "We have been keeping this a secret since before there was even a baby. It has been necessary and still is."

Jackson saw the hint of sadness on her face. "I'm not going to ask why but it seems like a long time to keep such a big secret, considering the people you work with."

Ziva did laugh then. "True and a few did figure it out, and as of now most of the team knows. But, and this is the confusing part, they are not supposed to know about us. So we continue on in secret."

Jackson shook his head. "Sounds difficult."

"It often is but he is worth it." Ziva saw Gibbs turn and smile at her as he was gathering tools and she didn't have to work to smile back. "It worries him though, he worries something will happen. I cannot blame him after everything he has been through."

Jackson sighed. "It was a dark time for him Ziva, darker I think than even I know. I can't imagine what it would have been like losing him and his mother like that. Are you saying there is risk in the two of you being together…sorry I said I wouldn't ask."

Ziva turned to him and bit her lip. "We had to work an undercover op that is what finally opened our eyes to what we had been avoiding all these years. That op has not ended and an important part of it is that we keep our relationship secret. So many secrets….." she saw Gibbs walking toward them from the shed. "And yes there is risk and with the baby now more so, but what we are doing is very important. Without being dramatic lives are truly on the line."

Jackson sighed. "Tough."

Ziva nodded just as Gibbs approached them.

"Everything ok?" He saw the tense set of Ziva's shoulders and the caution in his father's face.

"Yes Jethro we were just discussing how we ended up together, and secrets." She took his hand as he sat next to her.

"Ah." He glanced at his dad and saw no judgment there which might have surprised him once upon a time. "We manage though."

Jackson nodded. "So have you thought of names for the little one yet?" He saw them both look at him and flush lightly.

Gibbs "Haven't got around to that yet."

"It is too early to know what we are having yet." Ziva let her hand rest on her belly.

Jackson looked at Ziva and guessed that she had her suspicions as women often did but said nothing about it. "So not a lot exciting going on here, as Gibbs well knows."

"Don't need excitement dad, have enough of that back in DC the quiet is good. Thought maybe we might see a movie tonight." He glanced down at Ziva.

"I like the sound of that. Maybe a walk around town before or after, show me more of where you grew up. The last two times we were here did not leave much time for that."

"Or a good impression I imagine at least not counting my birthday party." Jackson stood and stretched his back. "Need to walk myself for a bit you two relax and enjoy the quiet."

Gibbs nodded at his dad and then led Ziva out of her chair back into the house. "We could take that walk now if you like, maybe come back and rest before we head to the movies."

"Sounds like a good plan. What are we going to see?" She saw him grin and lean in beside her ear.

"Doesn't matter just a good excuse to be with you in the dark." He heard her sigh softly and then giggle.

"I like the sound of that."

"Figured you might. Get your coat." He watched her disappear into the bedroom and went to the backyard to tell his dad where they were headed.

Ziva walked beside Gibbs looking at their linked hands and smiled. "This is nice, I know there still is a risk but."

"Don't give a damn." He heard her laugh and did the same.

"Yes." The first store they came upon was a mix of odds and ends, much like an indoor garage sale.

Gibbs didn't have to be told that she wanted to go in, holding the door he caught the scent of aged books and metal. It reminded him of all the times he'd been in this very store as a young man. He watched her wander for a bit touching things here and there. She spotted a handful of old typewriter ribbons and pointed. "I want those, for McGee. Even they do not fit his typewriter he will still appreciate them."

Grabbing a basket Gibbs picked up the ribbons and put them inside. "I'm sure he will."

"Welcome to the store….Leroy? Is that you?"

Ziva watched Gibbs' face soften as he stared at the very old man in front of them. "Mr. Grant. It's good to see you again."

"Been far too many years boy. And who is this you've brought with you." He turned to offer a smile to Ziva.

She couldn't help but smile back. Extending her hand as Gibbs began speaking. "This is my wife Ziva."

"Nice to meet you Ziva. You're husband here spent a lot of time in my store as a young man. In fact I still have a lot of his carvings on these walls. Come here I'll show you."

Ziva felt him take her hand gently and point up to a shelf running around the length of the store. "That right there, that little deer was the first thing Leroy ever made. Taught him how in this very store."

Ziva tuned to look at him saw him looking down at his shoes again, and smiled. "I have wondered how he learned."

"He spent a lot of time here trying to stay out of trouble."

Gibbs snorted. "Didn't do a very good job at that."

Ziva watched the older man look at Gibbs and smile. "You turned out just fine Jethro the people of this town are darn proud of you even if you don't come back as often as you should. There were those of us that didn't do right by you but not all of us."

Gibbs nodded at him. He recognized the very slight reprimand in the man's words, knew as well he'd earned them. Mr. Grant had been more than kind to him, giving him a place to go when it had felt like there was no other. "Had my reasons but you're right anyways."

Mr. Grant waved a frail hand as though pushing away Gibbs' apology and turned back to Ziva. "That eagle there he sent me about a year after he'd been in the Marines. Had a lot of offers on it but never could bring myself to sell it."

Ziva took in the carving amazed at the detail. She'd seen him create boats, picture frames, even a cabinet once. He'd even made toys but none were quite like the eagle on the shelf caught in flight, every detail of the wings, every stroke of the wind, were caught in perfect harmony. It was close in size to the real thing managing to evoke the regal nature of the animal. "It is beautiful." Turning toward Gibbs she saw him looking at the carving as well. She couldn't identify the look but for some reason it seemed a little sad. "I did not know you could do that, Jethro."

"I was inspired I guess." He saw the question in her eyes but had no way to answer them. Mr. Grant started speaking again and she turned away from him. As she listened to the older man she eyed a small figurine sitting atop the shelves and new from the craftsmanship that it too had been made by Jethro's hand. "Could I please look at that?"

"Of course my dear that is Leroy's most recent creation. He sent it to me a few years ago." Ziva accepted the small animal that fit perfectly in her hand. She turned toward Gibbs when he chuckled.

Gibbs saw her holding the tiny wooden animal and couldn't hold back a laugh at just how poignant the moment was. His mother would have called it kismet. "I made that very shortly after you joined NCIS. I was thinking of you just a bit too much while I made it." He saw her lift a brow look down at the animal with it's perfectly formed quills and tiny features and then back up at him.

"I remind you of a hedgehog?" She stared at the carving once again, thought about the little she knew of hedgehogs and frowned lightly.

"Hedgehogs are tiny little things, with a bit of an attitude and on the outside are very prickly. But once you get to know them they're very charming, sweet even and underneath they're quite soft." He felt a bit foolish saying it out loud but one look at her face and it was worth it.

Ziva felt her heart stutter, and a lump of love lodge in her throat. "Oh, well that is … a lot like me." She looked up at him and smiled. Only after she regained her bearings could she turn back to Mr. Grant who'd remained silently watchful. "I would like to purchase this please?"

"Absolutely not, I will not sell it to you I will however, give it to you as a wedding present." As old as he was he managed to fix to the two young people in front of him with a stubborn stare that neither one chose to argue.

"Then I will say thank you." Impulsively she gave the man a gentle hug. "I intend for this to be in the baby's nursery."

"Sounds like just the right place for it. Wouldn't you agree my boy?"

Gibbs nodded. "That I would Mr. Grant. Now I think it's time for us to move on I promised my wife I'd show her the town and take her to the movies as well."

"Well then you best get moving the last show of the day is in about an hour. And you'll be wanting to stop by Lucy's boutique I imagine." He didn't miss the way Leroy's eye's slid away as he gave him a brief hug.

Ziva didn't miss his look either but chose not to comment until after they'd left the store. Carefully she stowed the hedgehog away in the backpack she carried and then turned back to Gibbs. "Jethro if there are places in this town you do not wish to go please tell me."

"It isn't that Ziva. The shop, Shannon used to work there. First time I ever saw her was through the window. It started out as a woman's clothing shop and has since expanded to children's things as well. Lucy was Kelly's Godmother." He slowed his step when he felt Ziva falter slightly. "You ok?"

Ziva shook her head. "I am fine, I am just realizing why you chose to stay away from your hometown for so long. Much of your life, the life you lost lives here. It must be difficult to be here, to have all those memories everywhere."

Gibbs took her hand in his, kept walking until they were just shy of the store. "It's easier now. Time has helped and more than that you've helped, reminding me of a lot of the good. It helps make the bad not seem so big."

Ziva didn't have the words to respond to him so she simply leaned in close and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "The same is for me Neshama the bad is never so big when I am with you." Still holding his hand she stepped into the store that had a surprisingly modern look for the town and its age.

"I'm in the back be out in a minute." Ziva glanced around as the voice drifted from somewhere at the back of the store. Mostly she watched Gibbs. She waited for something that would tell her he was upset but he caught her looking and smiled.

"Go look around Zi, I'm fine." He watched her blush and nod. She wandered toward racks of baby clothes which left him looking at the very window he'd just mentioned. The last time he'd seen it had been the first time he'd been able to view it with anything other than rage. This time the memories were even sweeter, because he knew Shannon would be happy for him.

"Leroy…" Lucy had never expected to step out of the back room and find herself face to face with a veritable ghost. Yet, there stood Leroy Jethro Gibbs the last man she'd ever expected to see again.

Gibbs turned to her and didn't have to work at a smile. "Hello Lucy."

"I…to say it's a shock to see you is an understatement." Tucking a stray lock of blond hair behind her ear she remembered the baby clothes in her hand and tried not to draw attention to them.

"Yeah, haven't been back as often as I should have. I should have seen you long before now." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, holding in the slight ache that staring at her brought on.

Lucy shook her head. "I understood, really, I just wanted to help…..but" she watched him give a bittersweet smile.

"There was no way you could have helped me then Lucy, no one could."

"Jethro you have to see what I found." Ziva walked up to him glanced at Lucy and stopped speaking. "I am sorry for interrupting."

Gibbs bit his own lip knowing Ziva had timed her interruption to save him from having to endure the awkwardness that might have followed. "It's alright Ziva. Ziva this is Lucy as I mentioned a friend of Shannon and I and Kelly's godmother." The words were hard but deserved saying, his past was no longer the hard dagger of pain it had been.

Ziva held out her hand ignoring Lucy's look of surprise. "Hello I am Ziva it is very nice to meet you."

Lucy accepted the woman's hand. She took in the accent, the obviously pregnant belly, and the way the woman shifted ever so closer to Gibbs. "A pleasure to meet you Ziva."

Gibbs took Ziva's hand in his own "I can see the questions Lucy, but I won't make you ask. Ziva is my wife."

When Ziva might have expected Lucy to back off she instead watched the woman break into a genuine smile. "Congratulations Leroy, and I see you're expecting. Seems you're doubly blessed."

"I am." Lucy's smile and honest acceptance for some reason eased the tension he'd felt upon walking in the store. "We're just looking a bit, too early to know what we're having. Going to hit the movies after this."

"Well enjoy yourselves and perhaps before you leave town we could have coffee. If Ziva wouldn't mind that is." Lucy realized she might have offended Ziva, but when she looked over all she saw was that same contented smile. Reaching behind the counter she handed over what passed for the town newspaper. Ziva smiled at her in thanks.

Gibbs looked over at Ziva, watched her raise an eyebrow and laugh "You do not need my permission Jethro, but you knew that. You two finish talking I'm going to keep looking around."

Gibbs watched Ziva walk away and shook his head and he smiled. Turning back to Lucy he saw she too was smiling

"You look happy Leroy, really happy."

"I am Lucy more than you can imagine. Took me a lot of mistakes, almost all of them mine but she's…" He watched Ziva look over at him knew she was silently asking him if he was ok and answered her just the same.

"I'm glad. Shannon would have wanted you happy, Kelly too." She expected to see anger, had heard for years from his father about the grief that had consumed his son. Knew they hadn't talked for years. But this Leroy was different.

"I think you might be right about that." He gave her a brief hug almost laughed when she seemed shocked.

Glancing at Ziva he saw her grinning over something. "Think I'm going to see what she's found."

Ziva felt Gibbs behind her; he was quiet simply standing by here as she looked at a basket of tiny baby socks. "Are you alright Jethro?"

Gibbs leaned into her letting his head rest next to hers. "More than ok, I'm good."

Ziva could here in his voice it was the truth, and she nodded against him. "I am glad." She gathered up the handful of items she'd chosen; a pair of socks in a neutral green, an all-white sleeper, and a soft rattle shaped like a hammer. "I would like to get these. The hammer will work boy or girl, yes?"

Gibbs took the hammer and tapped it against the palm of his hand. "I like it." He grinned and made to move toward the register when she frowned slightly. "Zi."

"I do not think you will want to go to the movies Jethro. They are playing a double feature Steel Magnolias and Saving Private Ryan…"

Gibbs might have smiled except she was right they weren't the kind of movie he'd had in mind. "Oh."

"I was thinking you should have your coffee with Lucy, it is close enough to closing time and I will head back and spend some time with your father."

"Ziva, that's not why we came here.." He shook his head even as she started smiling.

"Jethro we came here to relax, to spend time with your family. If you take an hour or two of that time to catch up with someone who was obviously important in your life that is a good thing." She glanced down at the tiny sleeper she held. "Besides, this is something you need to do and you know that."

Gibbs smiled again leaning in he took her mouth in a brief kiss. "I'm a damn lucky man Ziva. You'll take the car?"

Ziva nodded. "Only because I know there is no point in arguing with you. Now I will pay for these and see you when you get back." She was saved from having to find a way to talk to Lucy alone when his phone rang.

As she approached the register she caught Lucy watching her with eyes full of questions. "We are going to skip the movie, thank you for the heads up."

Lucy nodded "Sure. I didn't mean to ruin your day."

Ziva watched as Lucy removed the tags and placed the items in a bag. "You did not. It was good to know before we got there. How much do I owe you?"

Lucy shook her head wishing she could ask all the questions she had of the mysterious woman in front of her. "Not a thing, consider them a gift." She saw Ziva move to object and shook her head again. "Please, seeing him smile, seeing him at all it's the least I can do."

Ziva acquiesced by nodding. "Then I will say thank you." Ziva glanced over to where Gibbs was still on the phone and looked back at Lucy. "I believe he will take you up on that coffee after I leave. If your schedule allows of course."

"As you can see it's a quiet town not a lot to do other than go home and listen to my teenage son mope about how his girlfriend dumped him." She laughed with Ziva. As Gibbs approached she nodded toward the bag. "Enjoy and if you need anything else don't hesitate to call."

Gibbs took Ziva's hand in his but turned toward Lucy. "If you have the time after you close we could grab that coffee."

Lucy nodded "It only takes me a few minutes to close out the register and I can meet you at the diner."

Gibbs nodded and after Ziva said goodbye walked her back to the car. As he opened the door he saw her peeking in the bag, pulling out the small pair of socks. "Hard to believe they'll fit?"

"Yes, I remember some from Tali but still, they are so small."

"And they'll likely be too big." He saw the surprise she couldn't hide and couldn't' resist holding her close for a tight hug. "You're a gift Ziva, never forget that. I wouldn't be here, wouldn't be the man I am today if it weren't for you. Now go home and rest, so I can make you tired again later." He saw her blush and watched the car as she drove away. It was time to come full circle with his past.

Ziva sat in the attic feeling as though she was intruding. After seeing the things she had purchased at Lucy's store Jackson had been clear she should come up here and look for Jethro's baby things. And yet as she opened the various trunks she felt something akin to pain. She should have waited for Gibbs to return, asked him if he would mind before she began sorting through his past. Still she couldn't seem to stop herself as she lifted the lid to an aging blue trunk.

Inside were a myriad of items. A small clutch of dried flowers carefully wrapped and stored. A small lace handkerchief was stored with a pair of small white gloves. Other bits of clothing and small figurines that had to have belonged to Gibbs' mother. As she moved a blanket to the side she found a photo album. As she opened it she saw the smiling face of a man that could only be a younger Jackson Gibbs and a woman that had to be Ann Gibbs. She had been stunningly beautiful, looking shyly at the camera she could see more than a little of Jethro there. As she turned the pages she saw more photos, so many of the Gibbs family. Jethro as a newborn, his mother looking down at him smiling joyously, Jethro on a bike just as his father was letting go. Many more happy moments than Ziva would have imagined. She began to wonder when everything had changed. She knew things had been anything but amicable between him and his father but he hadn't spoke of why. It wasn't until she reached an envelope at the back of the album that she began to understand. His mother had been beautiful but cancer was a harsh burden to bear and as she filtered through the photos she saw clearly the toll they had taken on the woman. Then suddenly was a news article raggedly torn from a newspaper. Yellowed with age it was still easy to read Ann Gibbs' obituary.

Resting her hand on her stomach she sighed out his name. She understood far more now about the man Gibbs had become. He'd lost his mother to suicide, his wife and child to tragedy; life had marked him with grief from before he'd even truly been a man. The red hair, the multiple wives also made sense. All along he'd been trying to reclaim what his mind remembered of happiness. He'd found it with Shannon only to have it cruelly taken yet again. She wondered how he'd managed to make it back at all. Or maybe the very cause of his mother's death was the reason he'd been unable to take his own life when the pain had clearly gotten to the point when he might have. He'd told her with his own words that he'd come far too close for her heart not to clench in fear at the thought. She might not have known him then but her heart felt the pain of that thought all the same.

She heard him as he ascended the last stair to stand beside her. She almost apologized as he sat down beside her, waited for the anger she knew he retreated to when pain lashed at him. Looking at him she waited, not afraid but watchful.

Gibbs saw the shine of tears in her eyes and felt them like a kick to the gut. There was so much love in her, so much good in the way she lived her life it made it hard to breathe when he was reminded that she loved him. He took the book from her hand and opened it to a page he hadn't looked at in decades. "This is how I choose to remember her, for a long time I couldn't…couldn't think of her without remembering how bad it got. Now though I remember her like this."

Ziva watched him point at slightly faded colored photo, which showed his mother sitting in the garden. She wore a brightly printed sundress, her feet bare, hair blazing in the sun a wide smile as she faced the camera. "She was beautiful Jethro, and she looked happy."

Gibbs smiled. "She was both. I hardly remember her not smiling, at least until she got sick. Even then she still tried, I know now for a long time she tried." He took her hand as she snuffled away the same tears he couldn't show. "People see her and then Shannon and they think…"

"She made you happy, she was a good mother she is what you had as a basis for happiness. You wanted that for your family, yes?" She saw Gibbs face her with the half grin she'd fallen in love with.

He should have known, "You always know, not sure how, but yeah. Shannon was a chance meeting and she could have been bald and I still would have fallen for her but there was a certain comfort in the reminder. It's weird…"

Ziva shook her head. "No it is human nature. Not weird." She pointed to all the trunks "Your father said I should come up here, that there was a few of your baby blankets up here somewhere."

Gibbs nodded. "He told me." He shifted a few things around and pulled another trunk toward them. "I know this has some of Kelly's things in it and if I remember correctly Shannon put my stuff in here as well." He turned back to Ziva when he felt her hand grasp his arm tightly

"You don't have to, I'm sorry I didn't know." She saw the echo of grief in his eyes the hint of the pain that was always there when he thought of Kelly.

Gibbs shook his head. "It's okay Ziva, I haven't looked at them in a long time. It might be nice." As he opened the box he stopped and turned to her. "Unless you think it would be bad luck or something to have something of Kelly's for our baby."

Ziva felt a sharp pain prick her heart as he spoke the words so softly she could barely hear them. She had to work hard to speak past the lump in throat. "Jethro, nothing of hers or Shannon's for that matter could be anything other than a blessing."

Gibbs managed a nod and turned back to the trunk. After their loss he'd been unable to see all their things without wanting to fall apart. He'd had them shipped to his father's house hoping there would come a day he'd could again look at them without the agony. He hadn't known it would be so long. On the very top was the very blanket Kelly had slept with every night. The softest shade of blue she had picked it out herself. She'd been only five and insisted it was the exact fabric Shannon should make it out of. Then she'd turned to him and said it was the same color as his eyes so he could still watch over her when he was gone. He held the fabric in his hands, the softness of the quilt wrapping around him and rather than the pain overwhelming him he was reminded of saying prayers with her at night, tucking her in and snuggling with her on Saturday mornings. "This one, for the nursery."

Ziva stared at it only able to take it into her hands after pushing away the image of Jethro holding a tiny red haired newborn. Taking it in her hands she looked closely at the edges, the fine stitches that spoke of the fact that Shannon had to have made the blanket herself. "I cannot sew anything other than stitches, so it will be nice to have this for the baby. It might sound silly but I notice that it is the exact color of your eyes. Did Shannon choose it intentionally?" that same pain laced grin found her as he pulled her close.

"Kelly chose it, so she could have me with her even when I was deployed." Letting his head fall on her shoulder he rested his hand on her belly and drew in a deep breath. Memories swamped him of far too many goodbyes, of watching his child grow through letters and tapes while he swallowed sand and death every day. He'd done good in his days as a soldier, a lot of good if he was being honest. But more often than not he was reminded just what it had cost him to carry out that good. Every soldier fought the same fight in their mind. It was a war in and of itself the reality that what you had done was both righteous and hell-worthy at the same time.

"Jethro?" Ziva had felt him go stone still behind her, his breathing ragged and harsh yet even lost in whatever moment his mind had found his touch had remained gentle.

"I'm ok Ziva. Just remembering, but I'm okay because I know you got my back."

"Always."