Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah same old same old.
Memories of Boot Camp
The night air was cold. The stars shone in the night sky like ice crystals frozen in the sky and an unearthly quiet hung over the world. The dark forest was swallowed by fog and mist and had an almost mystical quality about it.
Ranma was crouched behind a fallen tree his gun pulled to his chest to make sure that none its metal surfaces gleamed in the night. The forest around him was silent but that didn't matter. They were out there. He knew they were. Suddenly he heard a twig snap in the distance followed by muttered cursing. If it had been anyone other than him it would have not been heard but the enemy knew he could hear even the faintest sounds at a distance and now they were going to regret it.
Quickly Ranma sprang form his hiding place and silently headed for the noise he had heard in the distance. He was extra careful to be on alert incase that this was som kind of trap. He had already dispatched the other three enemy groups in the area. This was the last one left and the only think keeping him away form victory. Ranma quickly found them. There were five of them fully armed and ready to fire at anything that moved if he judged there postures right.
'Hehe by the time that I move it will be to late for them, the poor souls… I love my job,' thought Ranma grinning as he took careful aim with his gun.
The sound of the shoot was the last thing one of the five heard as the round slammed into his helmet splattering red everywhere. Taking the man down in an instant. The others turn to fire at the source of the shot but it was too late. Ranma was among them firing shots at point blank range into there vital areas dropping each of them with a single shot. No quarter was asked and none would be given even if they did ask. They were mercilessly cut down like the dogs they were it was over in under a minute. Ranma surveyed the battle field and the now red soaked forest floor and came to his conclusion.
"Good job boys and girls, you are dead, how do you feel," said Ranma to the "corpses".
"God damn it, every god damn time we run this drill we end up dead, and if you shoot me one more time in the balls Ranma I swear I will fucking kill you," shouted one of the solider who he had shot in the "Vitals".
"That's Captain Ranma, Private Stevens, and if you learned something and payed attention I would not have to shoot you there," said a smirking Ranma as he shouldered his paintball gun. The newly commissioned soldiers of Hellsing slowly rose to there feet covered in red paint on various parts of there bodies.
Ranma clicked on his com and said," Sergeant could you gather up the rest of the corpses and come pick us up."
"You got it Captain," answered a female voice that could give you cavities with its sweetness.
Ranma shuddered no matter how long he hear that voice its cute sweetness still managed to sent him into mild diabetic shock. He still could not believe that a girl like that could be on of the most effective soldiers that Hellsing ever had.
"All right boys and girls you are all getting better and are almost ready to go out into the field," said Ranma looking at his troops.
"I still don't see why you make us train like this. Hell half us were in our countries top military outfits and you talk to us as if we are green recruits," said Private Stevens waving his hand at the people in the clearing.
"Because you are soldier. You would have realized this by now if you had been training with Alucard or Walter but because I'm 18 you think I don't know what I'm talking about," said Ranma glaring at Stevens. He had known that something like this would happen eventually and he was going to see to it this never happened again.
"Well the only reason that you are even in command is that you are the son of Lady Integra," said Stevens glaring right back at Ranma.
At that moment two trucks pulled up. The rest of the troops had arrived. A small woman got out of the passenger seat of the leading car. She stood only 4'11 in height and if only one word could be used to describe her it was CUTE not cute or cute but CUTE the woman radiated it like it was a force on to itself. She wore the standard Hellsing grey with a bright pink bow to tie her hair that was not covered by her helmet.
"Now what seems to be the problem here," said the woman staring innocently at the paint covered clearing and the people occupying it.
"I'm having some disciple problem with Private Stevens here," said Ranma turning to address the woman.
"Fuck you Captain I'm tried of you and your bull shit. I severed in the Navy Seals for four fucking years and I am not going to be talked down to by some punk kid who thinks he knows how to fight," shouted a by now raging Private Stevens.
"That is no way to talk to your commanding officer," gasped the woman her hand over her mouth in shock.
"No Megan I got this. I plan to talk to Stevens here and explain some things," said Ranma waving off Megan. Turning to face Stevens again.
"That's Pretty Angel Megan," said the woman now know as Pretty Angel Megan as she and the rest of the troops formed a ring around the two "combatants".
"Sigh…" 'Why do I attract crazy people,' " All right Stevens you think that I am some ignorant punk that only got this command because of my Mother correct?" asked Ranma giving the solider in front of him his full attention.
"Damn right, I admit that you have some talent with a gun and fighting but that shit dose not make you good enough to command a squad of experienced soldiers into combat," said Stevens realizing what could happen to him in this situation got out of control.
"I see Private Stevens. You make a valid point if this was a normal group of soldiers fighting a normal enemy. However you and the enemy are not normal," said Ranma gesturing to the gathered soldiers, "You are a soldier of Hellsing and you will not be fighting a normal enemy and you are not normal soldiers."
"That's all well and good Captain but how dose that give you any right to command us," said Steven motioning to himself and the soldiers around them.
"Well Private you and the rest of you have no experience fighting the strange and paranormal, while I do," said Ranma, "Beyond that there is the fact that I am the league of Alucard and Sir Walter and you all are my support and backup on missions."
"Wait one second your telling me that you are a Knight (Don't know what Alucard and Walters class of people were called in Hellsing but form now on in this fic they will be referred to as Knights) excuse me sir but you have some extra ordinary abilities but you are not a Knight," said Stevens looking at Ranma in disbelief.
Ranma's classic corky grin appeared on his face "Sorry to burst your bubble Stevens but I am and the reason that you and the others were not told was because it was hoped that you would come to see me as your commander and get used to me before I was force to tell all of you," Said Ranma. Sighing sadly Ranma continued, "But seeing how that has not happened with some of you I need to give you a reason to obey me as your commander."
Seeing the still disbelieving look on Stevens face and the rest of the men and women around him Ranma decided to prove his point. " Private take this side arm" making what looked like a real gun appear form what seemed to be no where. Stevens reached out took the gun and checked it and found that it was real and used real bullets.
The moment Stevens realized the gun was real he knew what was coming he had seen a lot of movies and suddenly realized that what was happing was a lot similar to some scenes in some movies, "Sir do you want me to shoot you in the head sir," said a nervous Stevens.
"No that would be stupid Stevens why the hell would I want you to shoot me in the head," said Ranma.
"Oh good," said a relived Stevens.
"I want you to attempt to shoot me in the head," said Ranma his grin becoming wider at the mans discomfort.
"No sir I wouldn't attempt to shot you in the head," said Stevens relishing this was way to close to all the movies he had seen as a kid and that if he did Lady Integra would kill him, "I see, well then… Pretty Angel Meagan would you be so kind as to attempt to shoot me," said Ranma turning to his second in command.
"No sir I could never shoot you, that would not be ni…" said Megan before she was interrupted by Ranma," Pink sucks, Stuffed animals are stupid, and Hello Kitty needs to die," said Ranma.
The silence after that statement was total until… "DIE YOU COCK SUCKER," Shouted Megan pulling a shotgun form… somewhere and began to unload it at Ranma while shouting various… not nice things at the top of her lungs at Ranma.
The soldiers surrounding Ranma all began to run and duck for cover as there second in command began firing and seeing her pulled out a grenade many ran and ducked even faster.
"Who the fuck gave her explosives," one soldier shouted taking cover behind a tree.
"I don't know I though that we decided that she wasn't allowed to have any," Yelled another soldier in response turning to the demolitionist of the troop.
"What was I supposed to do she asked me with that uber cute super sweet voice," answered the man ducking behind a rock ans an explosion rocked the area.
"So what," said the first soldier cringing as a jet a flame leap up beside the tree form on of the explosions.
"She had a shotgun pointed at my wedding tackle" said the demolitionist flinching at the memory of her asking politely for high power bombs while having a gun pointed at his crotch.
While the soldiers all ducked for cover Ranma was busying dodging the bombs, gun shoots, curses, exploding stuff animals, hair spray laced with poison, etc…
"Ok Meagan that's enough I think they get the message now," said Ranma dodging another explosion.
"THAT'S PRETTY ANGLE MEGAN NOW HOLD STILL AND DIE," yelled Pretty Angel Megan pulling out a Pink Bazooka with a picture of Hello Kitty on the side.
Ranma was in midair form dodging the explosion and was off balance from the force of the explosion so there was no way that he could dodge. The soldiers, the ones conscious and the ones not praying to god, all watched in horror as a rocket with a heart on the front of it slammed into their commander. BOOM. The body of Ranma was thrown back and slammed into a tree.
"Oh my god you killed the commander," shouted a soldier.
"You Bastard," shouted another after getting some looks form his fellows hiding near him, "What someone had to say it."
"HE INSULTED HELLO KITTY HE MUST PAY," shouted the enraged Sergeant stomping towards in crater where Ranma's body had landed.
"Quick get the counter-measure form the truck," shouted a soldier who seemed to still have some rational though left.
Three of the soldiers bolted for the trucks as the Sergeant marched for the body of the fallen commander. They made it back carrying a bag. The soldiers reached in the bag and pulled out a tranquilizer gun and fired it at Megan knocking her out in seconds.
"That's odd," said the soldier with the tranquilizer gun.
"What is," asked the soldier next to him who was pulling out another tranquilizer and handing it to the other soldier to reload the gun.
"Well I don't know I though that the counter-measure would be a cute stuffed animal or candy or such," said the soldier loading the gun and firing another round into Megan to be safe.
"This is real life man. Not a movie. That kind of stuff dose not work here. Besides if it was a cute stuffed animal and we threw it at her she'd shoot us for endangering the fluffy thing," said the soldier the soldier holding the bag.
"Guys dose anyone care that she just shot our commander with an anti-tank weapon," said one of the women hiding behind a clump of dirt.
"That is a good question why dose no one care that I was shot with a pink bazooka," said the "dead" Captain Ranma.
"AHHHH THE COMMANDER IS A ZOMBIE QUICK KILL HIM," shouted a soldier who was hiding near where Ranma was getting up.
The soldiers to a man/woman already badly shaken opened fire into the area where Ranma lay. Once the roar of the shots had finally stopped a paint covered Ranma slowly got up.
"You all do realize that you have paint ball guns and not real weapons right and that if I was really a zombie that I could not talk and more importantly would not even have a body capable of moving after getting hit with a rocket," said an irritated Ranma wiping paint out of his eyes.
"Then how the hell are you alive," asked a female soldier pulling her combat knife.
"I'm a Knight capable of Super Human feats that are needed to fight the paranormal and strange," said Ranma smirking at the soldiers.
"Now load up people we are late for Dinner and I for one do not want to eat cold camp rations," ordered Ranma activating the soul of ice in a limited form around him to freeze off the paint that now covered. Sounding to all the world like he was fine and not just hit with a rocket that could have stopped an armored vehicle. Once he was piant free and done scaring the soldiers more he moved towards Megan to pick her up.
By the time that Ranma was getting into the trucks the soldier shook out of the stupors grabbed there gear and ran for the trucks. They were all looking around nervously. What had just happed was to strange.
"Now you see what I am talking about. You all just encountered a situation beyond your scope of comprehension and you are all on pins and needles," said Ranma getting into the front of one of the trucks.
"Well yeah you just raised form what looked like the dead and the Sergeant turns out to be a killing machine who can pull weapons form nowhere," answered Private Stevens shakily getting into his own vehicle.
"And that is the reason while I am in charge of you men. I have dealt with this kind of wired stuff for years and I know how to react and what to do," said Ranma, "Add to that my other abilities and knowing what I can do and cant I can better tell you men what to do in combat that the mission is accomplished."
There was silence on the way to the camp each man and women thinking on what had just heard and what they had just seen. While the soldiers began to question their sanity Ranma was wondering what was happening with his new Mother and remembering the events that led him to where he was now, holding an unconscious women in his lap while she sucked on her thumb and cuddled a shotgun…
(That's Right Flash Back time)
Ranma was getting used to live at his new home. For the last week he and spent time with his Aunt now his adopted Mother 'It feels so good to call her that,' getting to know one another in person, talking of past times, and planning for the future. But as the saying goes for every bright spot there is a malicious blood sucking evil son for a bitch trying to slowly drive you mad and torture your every waking moment… Or something like that. Unless he could actually see his Mother or she could see him he was open game for Alucard as he had quickly learned.
The pranks that hit him ranged form gun fire to various portions on his body at various times but always with a sick twist of humor, poisons once Alucard figured out that he was immune to most normal ones 'One of the few benefits of eating Akane's cooking', explosives, but the worst ones were Alucard just wanted to mess with his mind. Body damage he was used to but Alucard was an ancient evil genius who probably invented the evil laugh.
The funny part of it all was the more complex the plan on Alucard's part no matter how full prove the less likely it was to work on Ranma. Plans that would have driven normal mortals mad with there complex nature and sophistication fell apart when faced with the chaos that was Ranma.
Ranma gave as good as he got though. This was a war and Ranma's mind was a combat computer all that was needed was it to reconfigure to a new theater of combat. For ever scheme that Alucard came up with Ranma countered with a plan of his own. The halls of the Hellsing manor would never be the same again after these two titans clashed. Alucard summoning demon cats into his room was meet with Alucards chambers being covered in pink paint, stuffed, animals (Mostly Megan's who repeatedly shoot Alucard for trying to "Steal" them), and various other objects that caused Alucard more pain than any gun shot wounds. Spring loaded mini guns in his locker was in turned countered with Ranma trapping Alucard in his coffin and blaring evangelism into there for 6 hours strait.(I will later make a side story for the various evils that were committed in the prank war but for now I want to move the plot along).
Ranma shuddered in his seat remembering his on going war with Alucard and thanked his new Mother that she had temporally stop the fight by sending him out to train his troops in the field. Feeling him shudder Megan shifted in his lap and he looked down at her and remembered meeting her and the rest of his troops.
"You called Mother," said Ranma as he walked into Integra's office.
"Yes Ranma I did. You have almost completed your basic training and I believe that you are almost ready for field work," said Integra smiling at her new son.
"Really no more classes and basic training," said Ranma bursting into a victory dance at the news.
"Was it really that bad," asked Integra after seeing Ranma's mood after being told the news?
"You try dealing with classes and training and having a sadistic vampire trying to drive you insane and see how happy you would be after hearing that its over and no more being shoot in class if I don't pay attention or sleep," said Ranma crossing his arms over his chest and looking embarrassed.
"Ahhh yes you were having trouble focusing in classes due to Alucard's constant games," said Integra frowning slightly.
"Yeah. Constantly having to regenerate takes a lot of energy and I cant really sleep soundly at nights with him out there," said Ranma looking behind him in habit to make sure nothing was there.
"Yes and you took time in your classes to catch on that lost sleep," said Integra giving Ranma a pointed look.
"Well yes I know more about paranormal and demons form real life experience than the teachers," said Ranma nervously as his Mother stared at him.
"Yes Ranma that might be true but you can always learn something new, anyway one day you were sleeping in class and Alucard attacked right," said Integra beginning to grin. She found this story endlessly amusing..
"Yea," said Ranma looking more embarrassed.
"And Alucard shoot you and you got up and the teacher called your attention," said Integra the grin was even larger now.
"Yes," Answered Ranma seeming to grow more agitated.
"And she had a gun in her hand and his exact words were I believe "Private if the caliber of your work in this class dose not improve then the caliber of this gun will," and she shoot you," said Integra laughing a bit at her son's expense.
"Yes…. (mutter)," said Ranma looking at the floor horribly embarrassed by this story.
"What was that Ranma," said a now giggling Integra having heard what he said.
"Its not my fault that crazy women could not understand that in a war some things have to be sacrifices and that her class was not needed in my war with Alucard," said Ranma huffing.
"Ranma I don't know what power you have over the opposite sex is but you can make them react to you in the strangest ways to you and your presence," said Integra remembering the various incidents involving Ranma and the female members of Hellsing. "But we are not here to discuss that I was going to tell you that has of today I am making you a Knight and will be assigning troops to act as your backup," said Integra suddenly becoming serious.
"Really you think that I'm ready for that," said Ranma shocked at the news.
"Yes I do Ranma but normally I would have you wait till you had become more experienced with Hellsing until I gave you this command," said Integra.
"Then why are you giving me the command now," asked a confused Ranma?
"The truth of the matter is Ranma is that the activity of FREAKS and other paranormal phenomena are increasing and Alucard can't handle it all and Walter is needed here to over see the house and troops so we need another Knight in the field," said Integra sadly.
"Oh…," said a disappointed Ranma.
"Now Ranma what I said earlier was true though. I do believe that you are ready it's just with this sudden command the men will think that you are receiving this because I adopted you has my son," said Integra getting up form behind her desk to comfort Ranma.
"I know Mom but I want to earn my rank and the respect of the soldiers of Hellsing," said Ranma hugging her back.
"Yes Ranma that is a worthy goal but as you said in war there must be sacrifices and at the moment I need you in the field soon to help protect the innocent," said Integra drawing Ranma closer.
"I know Mom and I will make you proud of me," said Ranma breaking free from her grasp and staring into her eyes.
"I could not be prouder of you," said Integra. "Now then Ranma your second in command will be Megan Brightwater she is a bit… eccentric."
"How so," asked a nervous Ranma. Eccentric woman tended to cause a lot of trouble for him.
"Well I'm afraid that she is a bit obsessed with cute," said Integra headind back for her desk to pick up some papers.
"What," said Ranma the image of a certain air headed skater coming to his mind.
"Well she is one of the most competent officers Hellsing has ever had and her combat skills are top notch it's just that she is obsessed with cute things and if you insult those things she has a tendency to be violent," said Integra suffling papers are her desk so she would not have to look at Ranma as she told him.
"And how did someone like that become an officer I can understand some of our soldiers considering that stuff they have to deal with but an officer," said Ranma with a disbelieving look on his face.
"I can understand your confusion Ranma but beyond her little… quirks she is an excellent office that can get a job done," said Integra finally turning to face him.
"OK sure but how can the men follow someone who collects stuffed animals and goes AWWWWWW every three seconds if she sees something shiny," asked Ranma?
"It's not that bad Ranma in a battle situation she has the focus of a laser she is extremely talented and I know she will be an asset to your team," said Integra.
"No one wanted her on there squad and you are sticking her with me because you think that I will be able to tolerate her right," deadpanned Ranma.
"Well yes there is that and I want grandchildren to spoil," exclaimed Integra," she is a very pretty girl."
Ranma froze, his combat computer of a brain suddenly had the Blue screen of death and life has he knew it came to an end.
"I think that you broke him," said Walter as he walked into the room carrying some tea.
"Hehehe oh that was priceless I couldn't help myself," said Integra giggling as she took her cup.
"You know that if the men ever saw you like this they would think that the world is coming to an end," said Walter has he began to pour the tea.
"Yes I know that but it is so wonderful to have Ranma here and he will do so much for Hellsing, I could not be happier," said Integra taking the tea.
"Its good to see you like this Lady Integra," said Walter smiling at his commander.
"Thank you Walter that means a lot to me but I think that we need to fix Ranma before he is stuck like that," said Integra taking some water form her desk and tossing a little onto Ranma.
"The world is broken I want off," said a now female Ranma has she came to.
"Not now Ranma we need to go and meet your new second in command and your soldiers," said Integra getting up form her desk and handing the last of her tea to Ranma.
"What now," asked Ranma has he poured the tea on his head and handed the cup to Walter and followed Integra out the door?
"Yes now. In these kind of situations the course of actions is direct one," said Integra as she walked into a auditorium that was located in the Manor.
"Attention," shouted a voice as the pair walked into the room.
Ranma felt the eyes of the room upon him as he and his Mother walked up to the platform.
"Ladies and Gentlemen I am here today to announce that all of you in this room will be forming a new battle group in the Hellsing Organization," said Integra her voice carrying across the room.
After the announcement the room was alive with excited whispers and men and women talking about the news.
"Silence please, now the second in command of this new task force is Megan Brightwater," said Integra motioning to a woman that was sitting in the front row. The women wore a standard Hellsing uniform and had the appearance and demeanor of a women who new what she was doing and was in complete control. There was scattered clapping at the announcement but mainly there were frightened whispers among the soldiers.
"Silence, now your commander will be Ranma Hellsing he will be in direct command of this task force and answer only to me is that understood," said Integra slowly looking around the room letting her words sink in. Then she stepped back and let Ranma speak.
"Ummmm Hello I'm Ranma Hellsing and I will the commander of this force and I hope that I will be able to meet your expectations and do the Hellsing organization proud," said Ranma nervously scratching his head.
There was total silence after Ranma took the stage the men and women in the room all were looking at the stage in disbelief not believing that there commander was the son of Integra Windgate Hellsing. They could not believe that their commander would ever do such a thing as promote a family member over a "real" soldier. The silence getting to him Ranma stepped back and gave the stage to his Mother.
"Alright then your final training will begin tomorrow at dawn meet on the firing range good luck," said Integra. After saying that Integra turned around and walked out of the room motioning Megan and Ranma to follow her to her office. Once they reached her office Integra set behind her desk and spoke. "That went better than I expected."
"You have got to be kidding me they have to be back there right now spreading all kinds of rumors," said an exasperated Ranma.
"So, that dose not matter they did not question your appointment as an officer in front of me then they will obey your orders" said Integra matter o factly.
"I agree with Lady Integra sir they will follow your orders to the letter if for nothing else then for the reputation of Hellsing and Lady Integra," said Megan speaking for the first time her voice was commanding and confident.
"Well thanks for the ego boost there Ms. Brightwater to tell the truth you are not what I was expecting," said Ranma turning to her. She was a small women with a very athletic frame. She had a heart shaped face and chestnut brown hair. She reminded him a lot of Ukyou.
"I get that a lot sir there are a lot of rumors about me sir," said Megan turning to him.
"Oh really so none of them are true right," said Ranma hoping that for once in his life he would meet a women that was not strange in some way, he loved his new mother but she did command an ancient evil vampire and command a organization whose mission was the keep the world save form demons, undead, and the occult.
"No sir some of them are true," said Megan.
"ohhhh," said Ranma all hopes of an easy command dashed.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you two but you can discuss this somewhere else and not in my office I do have things I need to do," said Integra in her commander voice but with a smirk on her face,
"Yes Mom, I mean Sir, I mean Mam," said Ranma completely off guard and with a hasty salute he and Megan walked out of the office. Has they walked out of the room and down the hall Megan turned too Ranma.
"Sir is it alright if we stop by my quarters so I can change and pick up the material that Lady Integra sent to me on the our troops. Then we can discuss training the men and there backgrounds," said Megan already turning down a corridor in what Ranma assumed was the direction of her room.
"Ok sure wait up," said Ranma has he race to catch up with Megan.
As Ranma waited for Megan in the hallway he wonder what his future would hold, what his new position would be like, and most importantly what the hell was taking Megan so long. 'Dear lord woman hurry up,' though Ranma has he waited nervously in the hallway wait for Megan and the eventual attack of Alucard.
"Ok boss lets go," said Megan as she walked out of her room in a pink version of her former uniform.
After seeing her Ranma fell down form shock and form the high powered Rifle bullet hitting him in the chest.
Yes he would never have a normal life Ranma though. A second in command that when form GI Jane to a host on a kids show and had violent tendencies. Not to mention all the other nut jobs and weirdoes that he had under his command. Ranma's musings were cut short though has their trucks finally made it back to camp.
Ranma and the rest of the troops were unloading form the trucks when one of the communication personnel came running up and shouting.
"Commander HQ is under attack by an unknown force. The enemy have breached the main compound," shouted the out of breath soldier.
"What the hell, Ok prepare for battle this is not a drill HQ is under attack by an Unknown aggressor," Shouted Ranma dropping Megan so wake her up.
"Huh whatz going on," said a dazed Megan has she hit the ground.
"Sergeant prepare the men for combat the HQ is under attack this is not a drill," ordered Ranma has he moved towards the communication center.
"SIR YES SIR ALL RIGHT SOLDIERS I WANT TO YOU TO BE COMBAT READY FIVE MINUTES AGO MOVE IT MOVE IT," shouted Megan at the top of her lungs had she went for cute to command.
Authors Notes: Ok guys I'm back. Sorry for spacing out there for a time but a lot of stuff happened in that time. I lost my job found a new one and various other things but the main reason that I have not updated in such a long time is WOW. My friends all started to play World of Warcraft a couple months back and they finally got me to play too. I remember those months has a blur of Alliance killing and quests but I'm better now I still like the game but I'm not obsessed anymore so expect more updates soon. Any feed back or ideas for the future would be great. Flashbacks won so boot camp and all the fun had in there will be displayed in various flashbacks.