Rating: R
Warning: May eventually contain slash
Category: Humor/Romance
Summary: Hermione undergoes a change in thinking and is determined to enjoy her last year to the fullest. Wacky hi jinks and craziness ensue leading to a list of amusing new rules for her, friendships with slytherins, and romance. This is my first attempt at any kind of fiction so please be kind. Constructive criticism is wanted, flames will be ignored. Hermione is a little OOC because of her change in thinking.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Harry Potter Universe and all it's characters, I'm just playing with them for a bit. There may be slash as I said so you have been warned. I got the basic Idea for this story from the list 213 things skippy is no longer allowed to do in the army. I stole some of those things on the list as I could just hear them being said in the HP universe.
Piccolo'sVampirePrincess - Glad your enjoying. Updates regularly so far. ;-)
tiffany - Glad you liked it. I'm hope your having as much fun reading as I am writing it.
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Chapter 8
Snape stormed into the Potions room the next morning looking as if he would kill the first person who breathed. He turned his I'm an evil bastard glare shockingly on the Slytherins.
"Those of you that spent last evening Merlin only knows where instead of in your dorms where you belonged will be having detention with me this evening straight after dinner. Do not think for a second that I don't know who was gone. If I have to come and get you, you will be sorry." He said in that quiet deadly voice that most everyone knew meant don't mess with him.
"Your assignment is on the board. Get to work and I suggest you do it right" he growled.
Everyone got to work. Quietly working on their potions. After awhile we could tell Snape was calming down a bit. Seeing that his students were all alive and in one piece might have helped a bit surley. After a while he started to walk around checking on the potions as normal and the class as a whole breathed a sigh of relief.
Towards the end of the class as potions were being finished by those slower students, Draco made the mistake of chatting to Blaise.
"Mr. Malfoy I suggest you keep your mouth closed until the end of the period unless I tell you to open it." He shouted slamming his hand down on the table crushing a bug that was crawling along minding it's own business.
"Oh My God! You killed Kenny! You Bastard!" Mione yelled obviously suicidal
"Another nights detention for next Tuesday Miss Granger. I may be a bastard but.... I did not kill kenny."
Those who had never seen a tv much less heard of Southpark were looking at Mione with confused expressions. Surprisingly Draco was one of the few trying to muffle their laughter. Snape was glaring around at those laughing. Then shocking the whole class, even Mione who was starting to realize he had a sense of humor, He glared and in a high voice said "You WILL Respect My Authoritay!"
The whole class was silent for a moment before those who understood burst out laughing. Snape gave the class a smirk as if to say See I can be funny and said "now bottle your potions, put them on my desk and clean up. Class is dismissed."
Out in the hallway. "Can you believe Snape made a joke?"
"And a muggle joke at that."
"I don't get it, wasn't he yelling at us?"
"What was so funny about us respecting his authority?"
"Who's Kenny?"
"It's from a muggle cartoon called Southpark."
Everyone was talking about it. Those that understood trying to explain to those that didn't.
"Snape made a joke. The world is ending." Ron said.
"He's obviously off his rocker." Harry replied.
"How in the world did he ever see southpark?" Ron asked.
"Who knows."
"Well Mione still got detention so even with the joke it's still Snape the git." Harry nodded.
Everyone was still talking about the Snape Incident as it was now being called in DADA. Those who witnessed it relating it to those who hadn't. Unlike most gossip that went around the school this actually stuck to the facts. Probably because it was extraordinary as it was and needed no embellishing.
"May I ask what is so amusing that you are all still discussing it after class has started?" Asked professor Lupin who was back as DADA teacher by popular demand.
After having it explained Lupin laughed a moment.
"Well as refreshing as it is to hear that Professor Sname made a joke I do believe it's time to get on with this class."
The class went well as almost everyone liked Professor Lupin and his teaching style. As they were putting away their books towards the end of class everyone stopped what they were doing when Mione put up her hand. Nobody wanted to miss anything she had to say now.
"Yes Hermione?"
"When are we going to talk about Were-Virgins Professor?" She asked smiling innocently.
He looked at her rather oddly. "There is no such thing Hermione."
"Yes there is"
"No there isn't Hermione seriously."
"Yes there is Professor when do we get to study them?" She demanded.
This went on for a few moments until the bell rang. Nobody moved to leave though.
"Miss Granger There is NO SUCH THING AS A WERE-VIRGIN so quit asking" Lupin yelled out in frustration.
"Well why didn't you just say so Professor?" Hermione shot him an evil grin as she grabbed her books and walked out the door. Leaving even Lupin laughing with the rest of the class.
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Detention that night was rather more crowded than usual as Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Mils and Lucy all filed in to join Mione.
"I see you all have managed to make it" Snape sneered at the Slytherins. "It's good to know you can make it to where you are supposed to be sometime."
They all looked down and wisely said nothing.
"If you were thinking I would go easy on you because you are in my house, Think Again! And if the Joke" Here he stared at Mione " I participated in earlier made any of you think I am going soft and you would have a fun ole time from now on let me disabuse you of that silly notion. You may get to work cleaning this room from top to bottom with no magic. Miss Granger if you would come with me please." He said sweeping away towards his office. Once in there he nodded to a stack of essays.
"If you would mark those for me Miss Granger."
"Yes Sir" she said sitting down and picking up the first essay.
Silence reigned as they both marked papers. She was completely oblivious to the fact he was watching her hungrily. ~She's very pretty and rather amusing.~ He thought to himself. ~She's almost beautiful with that spark in her eye when she is up to something. Not to mention she is intelligent enough to actually have a conversation with.~
~What am I doing thinking about her so much. She's a student?~ He had come to look forward to that sparkle in her eyes and what she would come up with. Not that he wouldn't hand out detentions for her stunts, of course but he had found himself not only looking forward to her stunts, which had never happened before not even when he found some of the Weasley Twins pranks amusing, but also looking forward to having her in detention.
~He definitly should not be feeling this way. Not only was she his student but she would never see him as anything other than her git of a potions Professor.~ He went back to marking the 7th year essays feeling even lonlier than usual.
Mione snuck glances at him now and then wondering if after his speech earlier she dared even speak. Gathering up her courage she looked at him and said "I almost died when you quoted Cartman. May I ask where in the world you ever saw Southpark?"
"I told you I had a sense of humor" he said. "And yes you may ask though you already have. I have some experience with the muggle world. I do know what a tv is."
"Of course Sir. I just can't picture you watching one." She giggled marking the last essay.
"Thank you for helping me mark these Miss Granger. Your detention is done you may go if you like." He said not looking at her.
She leaned back in her chair and asked "Did you read the latest issue of Ars Armenia?"
"Why of course" he said looking up at her.
"What did you think of the research into counter potions for the unforgivables?" she asked.
The spent the next two hours discussing the article and their own idea's on the subject until Draco knocked and said they were done.
"Your dismissed then" he said. "You had better head up also as it's almost curfew.
"Yes Sir" she said gathering her things.
"I rather enjoyed our conversation Miss Granger."
"So did I Sir. I'm sure I'll have many detentions after which we can talk." She said with a grin.
He went and got a book from the shelf and handed it to her.
"You might enjoy this" he said. "We could discuss it and I could use a fresh opinion."
"Thank you sir. I'll return it on our next detention. And call me Hermione please." She said. "Goodnight Professor."
"Goodnight Hermione" he whispered as she glided out.
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