Rating: R
Warning: May eventually contain slash
Category: Humor/Romance
Summary: Hermione undergoes a change in thinking and is determined to enjoy her last year to the fullest. Wacky hi jinks and craziness ensue leading to a list of amusing new rules for her, friendships with slytherins, and romance. This is my first attempt at any kind of fiction so please be kind. Constructive criticism is wanted, flames will be ignored. Hermione is a little OOC because of her change in thinking.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Harry Potter Universe and all it's characters, I'm just playing with them for a bit. There may be slash as I said so you have been warned. I got the basic Idea for this story from the list 213 things skippy is no longer allowed to do in the army. I stole some of those things on the list as I could just hear them being said in the HP universe.
Big Thanks to my Beta Gelsey. Whom without things would be less error free!
*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 12
Detentions so far 13. List of things Hermione can no longer do at Hogwarts 15
At dinner that evening Hermione received a note stating that she would be serving detention with Professor Snape at seven p.m. and not to be late. Surprisingly Professor Trelawny also showed up to eat dinner with the staff, which got the students talking about what could have drawn her down from her tower. She hadn't been predicting Harry's death since he defeated Voldemort, now she predicted his love life. Personally, he wished she'd go back to predicting his death. Unfortunately she was leaving the Great Hall just as Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione were walking back to Gryffindor tower.
"I fear I must warn you of your impending loss, Miss Granger, and give my condolences, no one likes to lose a loved one," Trelawny said.
Hermione's mother, which had been common knowledge among the staff when she was diagnosed, had had a cancer scare at the end of last year. She thought that Trelawny using that information to try and credit her Seeing skills abominable and saw red.
"How dare you use the knowledge of the possible illness in my family to try and credit your Seer skills. To hint at it after I expressed to my Head of House that I didn't want to tell any of the students but Harry, Ron and Ginny shows just how untrustworthy you are. On top of that your nothing but a lying fraud!" she practically screamed.
"Miss Granger that will be enough," came the silky tones of the Potions Master from behind her.
"But she," Hermione tried.
"Enough," he said. "Professor Trelawny, why don't you go rest and I will assign Miss Granger to scrubbing the dungeon tomorrow evening for disrespecting a professor."
"Well, hmpf, I guess that will do, though I will be informing Professor Dumbledore of her outburst," she huffed and walked away.
"Now Miss Granger," Snape said turning to her "I do believe the Headmaster will indeed listen to your side of the tale and stand by my detention. No matter what the provocation you may not call any Professors untrustworthy, liar, or fraud, even if your right."
With that said he walked on towards the dungeons.
"What a git," Ron scowled. "She deserved it."
"Oh I can't believe the nerve of that woman. I'm just so mad I could scream, arghhh."
"She's a flake, don't pay her any mind Mione," Harry said comfortingly. "She is just wrapped up in her own importance."
"What's scary Mione is that Professor Snape agreed with you," Ron shuddered. "He said even if you are right you can't call a professor that."
"Well I'd better get to my detention. Professor Snape will not be happy if I'm late," Hermione told them as she headed towards the dungeons.
"Good evening Miss Granger, You may spend this detention marking third year essays and when you are done you may start on the fourth years," Snape said as she walked in.
"Yes sir."
Hermione got to work on the essays, stopping every once in a while to verify something with Professor Snape, who it appeared was marking the older year essays as well. She couldn't help but sneak glances at him from time to time not knowing that he was doing the same. When she was finished with the last fourth year essay she scooted the essay's across the desk and let him know they were done.
"Well then, Miss Granger, I believe you have finished with your detention. Is it too much to hope that you have learned the error of your ways?" he asked with a smirk.
"Why of course Professor," she said in her best "I'm an innocent" voice.
"Then tell me just what is it you've learned?" he asked.
"That I may not call any Professor Mom," she said with a mischievous smile, "and it's not good to shock Professor Flitwick as it's a long fall for him."
Severus laughed at the thought of March falling off of his stack of books, and the look on Mione's face as she said that. She had an angelic look on her face which was belied by the devilish grin she was shooting his way.
"Poor March didn't have a clue about that rebellious streak of yours at all. That was not well done of you Hermione, You should at least have given him a bit of warning about your newfound mmmmm.... sense of humor," he laughed.
"Well how was I to know he'd fall?"
"True, I wonder if your Mr. Creevey got a picture. Now that would be priceless and such fun at the next staff meeting," he said.
"Professor, I'm shocked at you. What kind of example are you setting for me?" she said with a wicked grin.
"I'm off duty," he replied with a completely straight face, sending them both into gales of laughter.
"You should laugh more often sir. It looks good on you," Mione told him.
"As on you Hermione. And as I believe we're becoming friends," he paused looking at her cautiously until she nodded her head, "you may call me Severus during our conversations here."
"Thank you, Severus," she said trying out his name on her tongue.
"I'm sorry about the situation with Professor Trelawny earlier but you will still have to serve a detention for what you said to her, Hermione, even if I agree with you and she was out of line."
"I understand. I don't like it but I understand. Although I think we should just trade her to the remaining Death Eaters and be done with her. I mean, don't they have anything we want we could trade her for? I'm sure Draco could manage it somehow," she said angrily.
"Miss Granger, you may not trade Professor Trelawny to the Death Eaters. Do you understand me?" he said sternly.
"Yes sir."
"I understand that what she did was not right and upset you but she is still unfortunately a Professor and must be shown respect, even if it's not deserved," he said with a grimace.
"Very well, but that doesn't mean I will forget about this."
"Of course not. Now what should I expect in my class tomorrow? I do hope you are not planning any disruptions," he said in a mock stern voice.
"Oh Professor of course not. How could you ever think I would plan anything for your class," she said faking outraged innocence.
"Uh huh. Guess that means I better be prepared for anything. Just so you know, I will not be taking this lying down any longer. Anything you do will get you retaliation, Hermione," he said with a very evil grin.
"Oh my Severus," Hermione drawled, "that seems to me to be a declaration of war."
"Call it what you will Hermione, just be warned."
"Duly warned Severus and it's Mione to my friends," she said as she gathered her things. "It's almost curfew I better head up now."
"Yes it is getting late. Goodnight Mione," he said testing her nickname out with a smile.
"Goodnight Severus," she said and with a wave and a smile she was gone, leaving him to wonder just how much more he could take without going insane from wanting her.
"What am I even dreaming about her for, she would be disgusted if she knew where my thoughts lay," he said quietly to the empty room.
*~*~*~*~
The next morning the Great Hall was abuzz with laughter as on the wall just before the entrance someone had placed a rather large war criminal poster with Professor Trelawny's picture on it. Of course the Professors not entering through the main entrance had yet to see it, it was sure to be removed once it was. Hermione claimed no knowledge of it though Ron and Harry had their suspicions.
After a bit things settled down to the usual din of breakfast. Hermione was happily eating a bowl of cereal. She had brought some of her Muggle cereal with her and given it to the house elves as she didn't fancy eating the large breakfasts they cooked every morning. After her talk with Severus last night she was left in a very good mood and so when Seamus Finnegan leaned over and asked her what she was having for breakfast today she decided to have a little fun. She grabbed her bowl of cereal to her chest as if he was trying to take it from her and got up and started yelling.
"He's after me frosted lucky charms, somebody do something!"
While most of the Hall looked at her as if she had gone insane, those from Muggle families started rolling around on the floor in laughter. Professor McGonagall looked up from the head table and in a stern voice asked Hermione, "Why would Mr. Finnegan be after your breakfast Miss Granger?"
"Because they're magically delicious," she exclaimed with a grin.
"Miss Granger take your seat and finish your meal. Mr. Finnegan is not, after yer lucky charms," the Professor of Muggle Studies said as she laughed.
Hermione sat back down and continued to keep her arm around her bowl and shoot Seamus nervous glances as she finished her breakfast. Seamus, having a Muggle father, was rather amused with her and couldn't stop laughing. He kept shoving his spoon at her threateningly all through breakfast.
In Potions Hermione behaved perfectly, just shooting an angelic smile at Severus whenever he looked her way. It wouldn't do to get to predictable. Besides, this way he would go crazy trying to figure out if she had pulled something or was trying to lull him into a false sense of complacency. She knew he expected some stunt from her today but he would be rather surprised at just what it was, as it had nothing to do with class. She went to her classes for the day, enjoyed dinner and the company of the common room later that night. They were sitting around chatting about the day and laughing over the War Criminal poster, which Professor Vector noticed around lunchtime. The whole school received a lecture and the person who did it was told to come forward, but nobody did. Suddenly Ron noticed the time.
"Hey Mione, didn't you have detention that started twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes, but I'm not going."
"Your blowing off detention? A detention with Snape? You are so bloody dead," he said shocked.
"Completely unexpected of me, isn't it?" she said with a grin.
"Your going to get in so much trouble," Harry said.
"Ah well it will be worth it to see the look on Professor Snape's face when I tell him why I didn't show up."
"Really and just what are you going to tell him?" Harry asked.
"You'll just have to wait and see won't you?"
They argued a bit more about how Snape was going to kill her and then everyone started heading to bed. As Hermione was getting ready for bed she realized that in her anger at Trelawny she had forgotten to tell Severus about her Animagus form. Maybe she should surprise him, she thought. She laid down and fell asleep with the picture of him smiling at her in her mind.
*~*~*~*~
Now push the Review button. Yes the one right down there. And you will have my undying gratitude. ;-)